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Dizaster defeats Gjonaj

Recap: Long accused of being a Dizaster clone, Gjonaj finally gets to battle the man himself in this 3-rounder from KOTD. 1st round is close with Gjonaj airing fiery (“You’ll never get it together, stop trying, stick to being Lebanon-violent”) punchlines along with nice schemes in his noted rambunctious style. But a more amped-up than usual Dizaster comes right back with steady (“Time for you to face your master, your name is gjnalaggg[unintelligible]”) jokes, animated personals and repeated bully (“This Christian could die, I’ll put your wings in the sky like a Batman signal!”) bars to edge the round. After admitting to stealing a Diz bar in an earlier battle, the second round sees Gjonaj surprisingly choke, giving Dizaster an easy lane to steamroll him with a wicked impression of his opponent and more funny (“It’s Yassar Arafat in a New Era hat!”) wisecracks on Gjonaj’s style and persona. Credit Gjonaj for getting his mojo back in the 3rd round (arguably the best round overall of the battle) with the Detroit rapper delivering some winning (“We should’ve battled on the rooftop, cuz’ you ain’t had a decent punch since Billy Boondox!”) personals and feelgood punches, while Dizaster continued to score points with stinging performance (“You cats act like me till you have a crap like me, then your personality is revealed, one [lifts fist up] Sandy hook on the stage will prove this Dizaster isn’t real!”) bars and seismic wordplay to steal the round and score a 3-0.

Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dizaster – “I am jealous of you, ‘cuz I could never get a cab driver like you, shit your cab drivers drive you to the battle then walk inside the venue and stand beside you”