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Bill Collector defeats JR

Recap: How do you half-ass your way through a battle and still win? Well, first the battle should only be a round. Then your opponent (in this case JR) spits a bunch of gritty and aggressive, but mostly pedestrian shit before cutting his round short after 3 minutes. Then if you’re a crafty battle vet like Bill Collector, despite having very little motivation to rap other than earning your paycheck, you rely on a gang of nifty freestyles, an always reliable ‘Gun so big…’ bar and some witty barbs/personals to get through a matchup that you seemingly didn’t even write for and somehow still take home the W.

Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Bill Collector – “Yo J, the four-pound knock ya grandmom down, she hit the ground and make grandmom sounds!”

Dre Dennis defeats JR

Recap: Even if he was a little offended by all the subpar bars his opponent was kicking, one would think Dre Dennis would be flattered by JR’s clear appreciation for getting the opportunity to battle him. That said, a 1-rounder with almost all pedestrian bars and a choke on one end along with a Dre Dennis on top of his game via a series of salacious punchlines and potent gun bars? Bodybag.

Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “Spray his nigga’s till his clip will disperse, everybody got texts [Tek’s] at the same time…Presidential Alert!”