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Joe

Joe defeats Born

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Recap: Even when he’s punching at his best, Born can often be his own worst enemy. Indeed, as seen here in this URL/Banned Legacy battle vs. Joe, the Bronx vet displayed why when he’s on he can be one of the best punchlines feens in the game. But then, for every highlight there’s immediate reminders of why Born’s battle rap career has been so topsy-turvy. And no, in this case he didn’t choke, Instead, there’s questionable wordplay like comparing himself to a ‘rapist’ to deliver a punch in round 2 or spitfire stretches of haymaker after haymakers followed by bouts with pedestrian bars and reaches or racial angles towards Joe that he had to know have been used before (tho the 2nd round scheme comparing Joe’s looks to ‘every Offensive line football coach, etc.’ was pretty funny and entertaining). Of course, none of Born’s shortcomings would matter to Joe, who outside of one too many Mike P references as well as one too many ‘Born’ flips was able to deliver 3 dope rounds of scathing personals, steely gun bars, ridiculous set-ups, fiery schemes and piercing punchlines to edge rounds 1 and 2, before only losing the 3rd round thanks to a near flawless, punch-crazy turn by Born.

Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Joe – “If I see your bitch, I might spark it, or a gun butt [smacks hands together], cracker [crack her] with a mean handle…White Chocolate!”

Joe defeats Franchise

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Recap: Nifty punchlines and rabid gun bars highlight this URL battle between Joe and Franchise, with a more consistent and fiery (“This ratchet will fuck a Franchise up, it’s a Kardashian!”) Joe taking the 1st round, while (“You talking shit, till your whole squad get lit, it was all Love and Hip-Hop till Joe got a sucker punch and that’s just a Consequence!”) Franchise turned up enough in the 2nd to edge that round and have it 1-1 going into the 3rd. And while neither battler was spectacular in the deciding round, Franchise’s angle to get personal and (predictably) racial with a barrage of struggle life bars could’ve been a lot better, esp when you consider that his bars were more about his battle rap career than his life outside of it. With that, Joe, continuing to bring it with aggressive punches and nicer set-ups, makes it to the finish line ahead with a turn that was more solid overall despite a few dry spots here and there.

Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Joe – “He talking about White Men can’t Jump…now I got this bitch in Jeopardy!”

Joe defeats Holmzie Da God

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Recap: No easy winner here as both the fiery (“If we fight, you’ll probably fuck me up bro, look like you got some heavy ass hands…nah, I was kidding Holmzes [homes] Neverland Ranch!”) , name flips and back-to-back-to-back punches of Joe and the slower build-ups, but just as nasty schemes as well as real street/gutta lines from Holmzie Da God keep things competitive throughout this PG matchup on the URL stage. Joe gets things off to a quick start right away with spicy (“You got a kid?, I’ll put a father in a box, that’s my confession!”) haymakers that not only had the crowd wilding, but a more consistently fierce go-around that was able to beat back a very (“Silencer on the gun and I put it right on the nose like the proper way to say it!”) solid turn by Holmzie. Round two was more of the same from both battlers, confidently dishing their lines with even aggression and potency. However, for all of Holmzie’s (“When I was 20, I was the youngest nigga in my cell, 3 Bloods tried to run my hut, my only defense, two fists, some soap and a sock!”) comeuppance in the middle round, a little too much filler along with Joe’s highly animated and crazy Get Out bars that stood out the most to edge the round. Last round was also close, however a slight slip-up from Joe put towards the beginning a dent in what was otherwise a pretty nice (“You gonna spit that black-vs.white shit right?, that’s funny because bar for bar [points at Holmzie] you pale in comparison!”) round altogether, but erstwhile giving a very (“I was told when it’s war, I was told lock on with precision, so y’all won’t know which craft [witchcraft] I’ll use!”) formidable Holmzie the edge.

Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Joe – “Y’all seen the movie Get Out?,  He thought it was godo to see a familar face…till I grip the pound!

Dougy defeats Joe

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Recap: Strong showing by Joe is met by an even stronger overall performance by Dougy, who when he wasn’t dishing pointed (“End this show wit a Mac like kings of comedy”!”; “I’m talking big dummy shits when I’m packing the tool, with a big dummy clip, like ‘Shaqtin’ A Fool'”!) gun lines that laid a fiery foundation, stayed gritty in the mix with steely trap talk, fire wordplay/set-ups and potent punchlines that continuously scored. For Joe, with aggressive (“Y’all know white boys cant dance right? So when I’m swinging arms doing dougie wrong, don’t be surprised!”) punches and dope wordplay (“NY Giants, oh they’ll [Odell]  have you and your man in trouble [Manning] when they cruise up (Cruz) that’s what the mac will do [McAdoo]!”) that landed well throughout his 3 rounds, a solid battle nonetheless, that if not for his opponent’s comeuppance and a little too many repetitive themes, might’ve had a different outcome.

Verdict: Dougy (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Dougy – “We both grew up around the same type shit, you needed your mom’s, I needed a nice brick, see?, we both needed that white bitch!”

Lil Joe defeats Terry F

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Recap: Nice, witty and competitive battle (and apparent rematch) between Lil Joe and Terry F, loaded with nifty punchlines on both sides, comes down to too many reaches and predictable set-ups by Terry F, allowing Joe to take round 1 and the deciding 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Joe – “Run your mouth, that red beam on his upper lip, I’ll creep behind him while he writing battle bars and buck a fifth, you’ll see your dreams all over the paper…that’s a bucket list!”

Lil Joe defeats Checka Fred

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Recap: Nice, competitive, one-round matchup between Lil Joe and Checka Fred is filled with plenty of witty bars and fiery setups from both battlers. But a more consistent and versatile Joe, punching and raining down (“The .40 got a kickback, don’t believe me? look at [flicks his wrist in opponent’s face] the flick of the wrist!”) haymakers with ease, takes this in the end for Jersey.

Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Come to my town, it’ll be like the NFL draft, the 1st round I’ll put a cap on his head!”

Joe defeats Hazeman

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Recap: In a noisy room that seemed for the most part, to have no idea that a battle was taking place, Joe survives a 2nd round choke with enough solid punchlines and nice personals in round 1 as well as a more condensed round 3, to beat back a gritty at times, but too-many-dry-spots-having Hazeman.

Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Joe – “Two pistols, you’ll be torn between the two like a tough decision!”

Thoota defeats Lil Joe

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Recap: A resilient Thoota overcomes a tough start as well as Joe’s fervent punches in the opening round to edge the 2nd round with a couple of haymakers and easily take the deciding 3rd, after a choke from his lax opponent.

Verdict: Thoota (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Thoota – “Everybody talking like Joe is so major, and Joe got more flavor, since he wanna be black, after I knock his ass out, Lil Joe could be Joe Frazier!”

Lil Joe defeats V6 Quan

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Recap: Conceited hosts a mostly lackluster battle between Lil Joe and V6 Quan, that thanks to Joe’s righteous name flips and hard-hitting punchlines garners an easy 3-0 over the very basic bars of Quan.

Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Chopper will turn you inside out, you better pray your skin’s reversible, I’ll turn that soft top…back, you’ll be a V6 convertible!”

Lil Joe defeats Gy ThaRyda

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Recap: A slightly more condensed and more (“That flame to GY skull, that’s how I Ghost Rider [Ryda]!”) robust Lil Joe takes the first round, before delivering the dagger with a turned up second that overwhelmed his opponent. Gy ThaRyda, who stayed competitive throughout with some nice (“….he making faces?, so I’m Changing Faces, I’m a different nigger by 1:12 [112]!”) schemes and vigorous punchlines, avoids the 3-0 with heavier heat in the 3rd.

Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Look, another fat bitch about to struggle, aren’t you Precious!”

Lil Joe defeats Verbal Kent

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Recap: While Verbal Kent managed to salvage the final round with hotter bars overall (ixnay on the attempted rebuttal as “This nigga dead!” is T-Rex’s shit, not K-Shine’s), before Kent’s comeuppance, this one was all Lil Joe, who with a load of fiery punchlines and lofty schemes easily took the first two rounds to lock up this win early.

Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Lil Joe – “I’ll put dots on all you square’s, watch you fall, that’s the domino effect, my boy asked ‘Why is he so fat?’, I said boy that’s the Domino’s effect!”