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Chess defeats T-Rex

Recap: From URL, Chess and T-Rex stage a 1-off to make up for that little kerfuffle they had recently at Irving Plaza and it’s a doozy. Rex with a shitload of gritty punchlines/name flips, aggressive street anthems, storied trap talk, righteous heaters and a few witty personals without a hint of any mixtape bars, definitely came to win. While Chess’ in-ya-face boasts, piercing punches/metaphors/name flips, flexing lyricism, crazy set-ups and flashy gun bars served as yet another example of the Young Gawd’s standard of excellence when he isn’t dealing with unforced errors. Competitive throughout, after the two split (had the slightly more haymaker-lit Chess taking round 1, before Rex returned the favor in round 2) the opening rounds, it’s the more punch-efficient (and effective) Chess who takes the deciding 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chess – “I’m just here to ruffle feathers with this, if you feeling disrespectful with it, you could really get at me, Diddy and Cassie, we gonna settle this quick!”

Bigg K defeats T-Rex

Recap: From GTX, I’m guessing T-Rex meant to say ‘Stojakovic’ (as in former NBA star Peja). Verbal hijinks aside, a close one between the Dot Mobb capo and Bigg K that featured Rex putting up a pretty soldi effort what with a boatload of fly name flips, aggressive/hardbody punches and bodacious trap talk, one too many pedestrian bars from the Harlem vet to go along with a slightly steadier K on his shit throughout via a bunch of witty barbs, graphic, steely street bars, sturdy schemes and stellar punchlines, gives the Norfolk, VA battler the 1st and 3rd rounds fo the win.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K – “You line them up, I knock ’em down, catch a body smoking Rex, another Dot on the table, it’s the domino effect!”

Rum Nitty defeats T-Rex (Rematch)

Recap: From URL’s Drake Til Death Do Us Part card, a so-so 2nd round (where the similes were a little perplexing) and even a 3rd that while pretty solid, still didn’t quite live up to the standard we hold Rum Nitty. But either way, thanks in part to a mostly pedestrian T-Rex (who really needs to display his humor and storytelling more) as well as a personal/set-up lit and mayhem-rich round 1 from Rum that was his hardest turn, in this rematch from their Snoop Gladiator School battle some years back, Nitty delivers enough heat over 3 rounds to get the win and some long needed paypack.

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – ‘This shit wild…you wasn’t no Crip when we battled the first time!”

Eazy the Block Captain defeats T-Rex

 

Recap: From URL’s N.O.M.E. 11 card, after watching this performance, is it safe to say that a battle rapper who can combine brazen trap talk with banging street missives/punchlines like Eazy the Block Captain does, can guarantee us this version of T-Rex? Yunno, the boastful, uber-gritty, cap-dropping, back-to-back punching and gun-slinging Rex that we’ve all come to know and love? With 3 seemingly original rounds to boot? If so, I’m all for it, even if it’s only once a year (hell, Rex’s legacy would probably appreciate it too). Still, credit to Eazy for calling Rex out in the first place. They’re styles match up, Eazy has a great promo game, a win over Rex on anyone’s resume is a good look and me things Eazy knew he could bring the best out of the Harlem legend. That said, even with Rex adding some wit and spicy personals on Eazy’s gf to the mix to make it a competitive battle, Da Block Captain was just too much here, unloading on his opponent with that righteous slick talk, mocking/heavy-handed personals, fiery haymakers, graphic street narratives and steely punches/wordplay that consistently hit to take all 3 rounds (including a classic round 2) for the win.

Verdict: Eazy the Block Captain (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Eazy the Block Captain – “What’s the protocol when you got bad work?, nigga, I been through all that, bag it up the same, don’t say nothin’ ’til they complain or call back, I done took losses: bought a 7, whipped it and only bought a ball back, finger-tipped the shake in the bag ’til I got all that, I done bagged up sheetrock, I got holes where my wall at!”

Jai 400 Block defeats T-Rex

Recap: Besides being somewhat lazy and antithetical to today’s era of battle rap, I don’t have too much of a problem with the use of recycled bars. After all, T-Rex is absolutely right when he states that back in the day, as dudes went from block to block to battle, using the same verses over and over was the norm. And yes, using recycled bars always beats stealing…always. Funny too how Rex’s proud usage of mixtape bars serves as some great self-promotion to yunno, go out and buy one of his mixtapes. That said, pretty clear win here for Jai 400 Block, the Newark battler basking in an aggressive assortment of rugged punchlines, flexing personals, lofty wordplay and rigid heat in this 1-round Social Distance battle to beat Rex’s shortened, gun-heavy and witty at times, but far less potent turn.

Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “Not the type of business that you conduct when looked as a vet, that shit ridiculous, you just out here taking free money like the stimulus!”

Ill Will defeats T-Rex

Recap: Getting downright mean, disrespectful and personal with a host of fiery gun bars to back him up, a menacing and more versatile Ill Will beats back what was essentially another gun-heavy, mixtape verse from T-Rex in this 1-round Social Distance match from RBE.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Ill Will – “Nigga, I seen all things, from triple to all beams, dog fiends, coke so white it’s the captain of the lacrosse team!”

Tay Roc defeats T-Rex

Recap: Long-awaited battle between Dot Mob honcho T-Rex and former Dot Mob member Tay Roc unfortunately, while having its moments here and there, doesn’t quite live up to the hype overall. First, it’s a 1-round battle, a big mistake for two guys with this amount of personal history and animosity towards each other. Then too, when it comes to bars Rex really should utilize his wit more in battles. As seen here Rex’s better moments occurred moreso when he displayed his humorous side as opposed to the rah-rah shit he’s long been known for, which in this case mostly proved pedestrian. Lastly, even with Roc not quite being on his A-game, he easily took this one what with a way more consistent effort that spouted plenty of spent gun shells, stifling personals/bully bars and a stack of gritty punchlines that while at times weren’t as intricate as you’d like, still came off hitting more then missing.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I will fix your grill, knock out all your teeth, it will be hard to speak, you will have an awkward speech, to fix your broken jaws expensive they lied if they told you talk is cheap!”

Rosenberg Raw defeats T-Rex

Recap: Lost in what was a pretty intense battle here between T-Rex and Rosenberg Raw is Rex (who Rosenberg has already accused of talking throughout his rounds) cutting in on Raw halfway through his 1st round actually leading a pretty dope, mid-round freestyle by Rosenberg therein that would assist him winning the round and eventually the battle. As Rosenberg, spent on dishing hitting personals and stinging mayhem throughout the 2nd round would easily beat back Rex’s upbeat, but much less potent murals of mayhem. A bit surprisingly tho, Rex would save his best round for the 3rd, spitting a condensed but spitfire turn of braggadocios darts and struggle bars that for the most part hit to overcome a solid, but elongated turn by Raw and avoid getting 30’d.

Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “He keep talking while I’m rapping and I’m sparking his pound and you gonna battle a fucking bullet…try to talk through that round!”

T-Rex and Bill Collector [DEBATABLE]

Recap: This much-hyped T-Rex versus Bill Collector battle is a tale of two halves with witty and visceral personals, references to past lore, boastful barbs of mayhem, salacious gun bars (esp. via Bill’s highly maneuverable Super Duper Scope) and other lofty punchlines dominating Rex’s 1st and BC’s first two rounds. The first round easily being the best, Rex edges the opening round with a more consistent and condensed turn, before a still-turned-up B.C. comfortably takes the 2nd with a dope performance that included some very pointed (“…it would’ve been a news article that read ‘This Nigger Dead!’?, is that what happened when Head I.C.E. man put you to bed?!?”) personals at his opponent. 3rd round was pretty much a wash what with neither battler going for the kill, but delivering enough fiery heaters and solid punches to make the 3rd a draw and the battle a tie.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Your son gonna grow up a pussy Bill and you did it, he said ‘Daddy how you want me to swing back nigger…you didn’t!'”

Reed Dollaz defeats T-Rex

Recap: URL’s “Summer Madness 7” gives you a long-awaited match between early YouTube street battlers T-Rex and Reed Dollaz. And if you thought that Rex might be motivated enough to give you 3 crisp rounds of righteous, aggressive heat against a longtime rival, after the 1st round you’d be very disappointed, while his Philly opponent impressed throughout the battle. Indeed, stunting as he usually does with a heavy load of fiery gun bars and a boastful performance, the Dot Mobb general would command the stage in the 1st round and make for a debatable turn against an equally solid Reed. But then Rex just went off-kilter, maintaining his aggression, but at the same time succumbing to a very basic pen that could never catch up to his bravado. All the while a clearly more prepared Reed just kept upping his verbal ante with a boatload of steely punchlines, salacious gun lines and gritty, braggadocio bars/personals that had a frustrated Rex not only talking through his raps, but literally sitting out half of Reed’s fire 3rd round after he had gotten equally beaten bad in the 2nd.

Verdict: Reed Dollaz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Reed Dollaz -“They gonna have me on TMZ for killing a star, don’t get shot for thinking it’s still in the car!”

K-Shine defeats T-Rex

Recap: With so much history and brotherhood between T-Rex and K-Shine, of course the two of them battling each other is an event you thought you’d never witness. But after over a year of drama, chirping back-n-forth and misgivings that reached its breaking point when Shine and DNA formed NWX and Murda Mook kicked Shine out of Dot Mobb, here the two battle rap vets are, on the Smack stage for a battle that while unable to quite live up to the hype beforehand, still was mostly solid throughout and not as one-sided as the crowd would make you think. After all, Rex’s 1st round was a fiery punchfest, scoring with its variety of wit, steely (“Shit ain’t about Dot Mobb, this shit was all about Shine, I told that nigga to hang on, but he ain’t wanna see Roc climb!”) personals and boastful punches/gun bars. Still, confident throughout with a wide array of jaunty personals, some fire wordplay, nice angles/set-ups, aggressive schemes and heated (“Nigger, he done, but stick the fork in his grill…Mazaradi!”) punchlines, after and even round 1, a way more consistent K-Shine would prove to be too much in the latter rounds, especially as Rex’s bars waned towards the end of his turns and got more pedestrian. Clearly more prepared for this battle and with a lot more to get off his chest, it was easy to see that throughout K-Shine wanted this grudge match more and the result proved it.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1

Favorite line: K-Shine – “Nigga, part of being a man is how you handle shit, you don’t go straight to the ‘Gram if I’m supposed to be your man’s and shit!”

T-Rex defeats Ish Mula

Recap: Even if it’s only a one-rounder, there’s nothing like having a win over the legendary T-Rex on your resume. Unfortunately that wouldn’t be the case for Ish Mula here, as even when faced against the already pressed mixtape verses from his opponent, a little too much filler throughout an otherwise (“Rex is so soft, let’s get the art of facts, bad kid at the museum, I’ll knock a bone off!”) solid turn, provides just enough leeway for the consistently (“Shrumda with the burner or the knife, speaking of Bobby he’ll go out like his daughter or his wife!”) thoro bars from Rex to edge the battle at the end.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “You can ask about Trex, they tell you I’m a hustler tho, in the middle of teh summer I be shoveling snow!”

Rad B and T-Rex [DEBATABLE]

Recap: Taking us inside the trap world for the umpteenth time, T-Rex’s comfort zone shines early on, but becomes repetitive later on. Not that it matters to Rex, even when he gets caught by his opponent here, the erstwhile Rad B, for recycling bars. Still, wouldn’t Rex have been better off spinning more lines on why an up-n-comer like Rad deserves with him in the first place? Or better yet, displaying more of his hearty (“I’m married to the white, it’s like Kanye’s wedding!”) wit and peep that, a cold (“If I wrote, if I feel like saying it, I’ll say it again!”) rebuttal game? But hey, word has it that Rex is retiring soon anyway and hell if we all don’t appreciate him doing this battle after he no-showed when it was first supposed to take place. That being said, while Rad B needs serious work on his monotone flow and penchant for mediocre bars, the yung’un still managed to put in enough work with some nice (“Last time a chick seen Rex bone, she was at a fucking museum!”) punches/wordplay/personals here to make it competitive and earn a split.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Rad B – “Are you gonna win? I already said birth control…no baby!”

T-Rex defeats Dizzy Spadez

Recap: Harlem’s T-Rex comes all the way out to Brooklyn to give local up-n-comer Dizzy Spadez a shot and the result is about what you’d expect as after a solid (“We could shoot it out or we could fight, I got [swings hand] a hook for everybody like French Montana!”) start by Spadez, the 2nd half of his round is distinctively porous, giving him no chance in this one-rounder against Rex’s gritty street (“I’ll bury him, have blood shooting out of his head like water on the whales at the aquarium!”) bars and drug talk.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex –  “I’m different my nigga, this is a DOT world, and I want the Power so I might gotta go get the Tommy ‘cuz I highly [hardly] get my hands on that white girl!”

T-Rex defeats Tsu Surf

Recap: Hosted by Mistah Fab from Rap Grid & Dope Era’s No Mask event in Oakland, this 1-rounder between Tsu Surf and T-Rex features your usual assortment of brazen street rhymes and gritty punches. However, helped a bit by Surf struggling with his flow to the point of stopping his round short, the more consistently-lit Rex gets the win.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I’ll bring a ratchet on TV…I’m Peter Gunz!”

Caustic defeats T-Rex

Recap: Here in this KOTD 3-rounder vs. T-Rex, after getting edged in the first round to some more pertinent heat from his wily opponent, Caustic’s witty barbs, hitting personals/punchlines and fiery wordplay combine to easily take the latter two rounds and gain the win over a by then pretty redundant Rex.

Verdict: Caustic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Caustic – “The last few years we haven’t really seen improvement, they should call you Tomb Raider Rex, this bitch’s career is in ruins!”

T-Rex defeats Marv Won

Recap: Pretty much wasting his 3rd round, T-Rex still dishes just enough searing gun bars and hitting (“He trying to act all cocky and gimme some aggression, well I’ll map Quest [Qwest] like I’m looking for directions!”) personals to take the first couple of rounds and beat an often (“My nigga, you gotta learn to dress more appropriately for your weight gaining, that .8 bangin’, his whole middle disappear, that’s waist training!”) biting, but a little lush on the delivery and too misspent sermonizing Marv Won.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “The only reason Detroit respect you is because you flowed with Em, well I’ll have it so your next battle is with Soulja Slim!”

T Top defeats T Rex

Recap: Fiery trap (“I’ll show you how we moving the work, he still hand to hand’s, Sandra Bland, y’all won’t get the picture till ya man is dead!”) talk, gritty street (Rex: “I was taught not to run to police, you supposed to fire back, so much gunsmoke they be looking like where the fire at?!”) semantics/tutorials, salacious (Rex: “These bullets are like child support, they gonna go to mama, even tho they was meant for you!”) gun bars, steely punchlines/schemes…they’re all there in this dope battle between the stay grinding T Top and wily veteran T Rex. However, it’s a shitload of stinging personals and fire wordplay, mostly served up by Top, that make the difference here, whether it was slamming set-ups on his punches, pointed Rex/Mook comparisons, real life street shit or flexing/witty bars on Rex’s (“Ironically, I’m a have a dot when I reach his ass!”) Dot Mobb crew, his battle rap career and/or his sex life/marriage problems. And while credit will be given to the sometimes lackadaisical-with-the-pen Rex for coming prepared with 3 fierce, braggadocios and at times, performance-rocking rounds, it’s a more versatile, consistent and haymaker-dropping Top who takes this one.

Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T Top – “The mac hanging out the window, it’s like a drive-thru, potato on the front of the barrel, you getting fries too!”

Danny Myers defeats T-Rex

Recap: As the story goes Danny Myers wanted a legend on his resume so bad that he was willing to pay $12K to do it. Was it worth it? Guess it depends on who you ask. Nonetheless, at least Rex showed up and put up a fight for most of the battle and despite a mostly subdued crowd that either can’t appreciate top-notch bars or just hated on a guy because he’s from the West coast, Danny still impressed. First round was close with Danny dropping some straight heat along with rapid (“I’m supposed to be humble ‘cuz you a legend? fuck that, how clown?, shooting at you from my balcony the time I bow down”) haymakers and all-too-potent personals. However, a motivated Rex edged the 1st with more consistency to his bar quotient, some straight (“I took your $12,000 and battled you when I wanted to nigga!”) stunting and a platitude of urban (“Tell Danny I got a box for him, and them freckles don’t look the same when there’s stitches on top of ’em!”) flair that reminded you of why he’s a legend in the first place. However, as it turned out the opening round would be the best overall round and the chance of a true legend vs. up-n-coming star possibly taking flight wouldn’t take place. As come the 2nd and 3rd rounds things returned to normal with Danny continuing to prove why he’s currently one of the best in the game, dropping more steady haymakers and fiery knockdown (“Bitch nigga like you can get exposed, real quick I’ll lift his soul, I’m in his bushes, crouched down [bends down] with the deuce like a prison pose”) punches without missing a beat, while Rex failed to build off his momentum with shortened rounds, more time complaints and grown man bars that were pretty much hit or miss. But hey, Danny finally got his long-awaited battle/win and the fact that Rex actually stayed away from the mixtape bars, went back to basics and gave you three original rounds feels like progress.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I ain’t like the nigga you got, I’ll put you in the grave Rex, now I’mma take the chain off this pussy…like slave sex”

T-Rex defeats Hollohan

Recap: After getting humiliated in his last battle against Charlie Clips, T-Rex gets up, wipes himself off and goes back to basics with an infusion of aggressive gun bars coupled with some nice personals in three short rounds and fend off Hollohan, who seemed to be more focused on how well his jokes played to the crowd (as well as himself) than actually attempting to win the battle.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Me and Mook against you and Pat Stay, we could do it a two-on-two nigga, kill you on a camera, put this body on the news nigga!”

T-Rex defeats Rum Nitty

Recap: In 2014, Snoop Dogg’s “Gladiator School” showcased a battle that often gets forgotten about: T-Rex versus Rum Nitty. Similar battlers in styles and game plans, while in the first round Nitty’s gritty punchlines were a little predictable, they (“Bang! you could jump I gotta bust a K, but with this .45 I’m AC Green…I don’t fucking play!”) more often than not landed. But it’s Rex who shines harder and commands the stage better in round 1 with undeviating (“I’m a gladiator for real, I skipped the school, after Danger, he’ll disappear, like Mystikal!”) braggadocio lines and a more cohesive ethos. And tho Nitty did have some (“It’s all bad if my squad greet you, seen he have on the wrong Colors?, then that Rocket blue [blew], Don Cheadle!”) slept-on lines throughout, in the second round his penchant for guns bars got relatively standard and couldn’t be saved by tiresome personals. On the other hand, while not as grandiose as the first, Rex’s continual virtuosity and flare for the urban (“He acting like [the] type wilding, well fuck it, I’ll stab him, take the knife outta him, then I’ll cold buck it [bucket] on his head, like the Ice challenge!”) dynamics, was enough to edge him the latter round.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I don’t care if you’re Crip or Blood, you’ll be one bloody Crip or one crippled Blood!”

Shotgun Suge defeats T-Rex

Recap: T-Rex AND UDubb can do better than this. I mean, the idea that a legendary battle rapper doesn’t spit a full round and is literally arguing onstage during a match with a league owner because he supposedly doesn’t know how many rounds he was supposed to spit or his opponent gets cut short during his round because of a supposed time limit (which he clearly didn’t break even if it was two minutes) just speaks to sloppy business practices. But then after the debacle that was his URL match versus Cortez, it’s Rex that will get most of the blame for this mess and rightfully so. Then too, since I’m of the opinion that spitting a mixtape verse is way better than choking, Rex could’ve been a professional, said ‘whatever’ and just spit another one for the sake of the fans and worked out whatever issues he had with Arsonal/UDubb later on behind the scenes. But he chose not to do so and while he still remains a legend, it’s still a knock to his mantle and another bad look for 2014. Either way, Shotgun Suge did nothing wrong here, kept spitting despite all the nonsense going on around him and earned the win with better overall bars regardless.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’ll kill you and your son, any day, head shot, ‘cuz he a future snitch, anyway”

Charlie Clips defeats T-Rex

Recap: Has Harlem vs. Harlem on the battle rap stage ever been a let-down? Making up for opponent and fellow Harlem-nite T-Rex’s mayhem-lit, but shortened opening rounds with a brutal annihilation that contained 3 rounds of flawless execution (we’ll call both the regimented, punch-lit and consistently piercing 4-bar set-ups of round 1 and the highly personal, spicy rebuttal-driven, haymaker-drunk and over-the-top performance-wise 3rd round both classics), Charlie Clips delivers a hardbody 30 while spouting one of the most epic showings in battle rap history (hell, Cassidy’s reactions alone could tell you how this one went) and taking out Rex and his entire Dot Mobb crew at URL’s Summer Madness 4.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Jesus! One of my lines could make an Atheist say ‘Christ!’, if you wanna get Rex to chill all you gotta do is say I.C.E., we’ll discuss that a little later, but with these tho, I’m way nice, give him a choice in the elevator, you want the Solange or the Ray Rice?!”

T-Rex defeats Cortez

Synopsis: Who knew time limits could be the highlight of a rap battle? Of course, anyone paying attention knows how long Cortez’s been feenin’ for a match with T-Rex, with Rex rejecting the offer time and time again in return. Then Total Slaughter pops up and out of nowhere Cortez gets his long-awaited shine…literally on the spot with no time to prepare. Rex beats him easily, Cortez has to sleep on the sofa and now this? Two minute rounds on the main stage?! My guess is Cortez wanted a rematch so bad after getting slighted on TS that he would’ve signed anything to get it. While Rex’s forever-scheming ass, having done the proper research, just knew the short 2-minute rounds would work in his favor….and thanks to Rex’s gritty, but condensed bars topping Tez’s elongated lines. they did exactly that (although, to be fair, considering Cortez is a Grind Time vet, writing for 2-minute rounds shouldn’t have been that much of a problem).

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex -“Kill him in a charity match like Drago, I wanna see him die, we be shooting with his eyes closed”

T-Rex defeats Big T

Recap: A 1-rounder from the Road To Total Slaughter tournament, T-Rex delivers a beating on an inconsistent and flow-challenged Big T, wilding on the Chicago vet with a gang of rapid-fire/gritty/hardbody punchlines to handily get the win.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Silencer, sound like the Uzi trying to tip-toe, he dead, I’m a keep fucking going like a nympho!”

Head Ice defeats T-Rex

Recap: A couple of things of note with this Quiet Room battle: considering their long and renowned history, one would think that a long-anticipated battle between Harlemnites T-Rex and Head Ice would take place on a bigger stage, much less for 3 rounds instead of 1. And while Rex came with his typical ‘grown man’ (“Even silencers is loud when you in a Quiet room”) bars, taking into account the alleged backstory between these two, one would think he’d have a lot more to spout off than the roughly 3 minutes he barely gave you here (plus too, this was a one-round, unlimited). As for Ice, it was all there, steady painting pictures with a round of linear bars, brash (“Know your roley, I provide niggas, I’m bamboo strapped, I don’t speak ‘cuz I know the witnesses gonna tell ’em everything they need once my hand go back”) wordplay, jokes and some amiable personals mixed in to calmly and collectively cop the win.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Head Ice – “Your mouth spoke on more metals than Gabby nigga”

T-Rex defeats Cortez

Recap: Mayhem-lit, gritty and hard-hitting with the punchlines, in this 1-round Wild card battle from the Road to Total Slaughter tourney, T-Rex makes easy work of a mostly pedestrian and flow-challenged Cortez.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “‘Cuz you work at the airport don’t mean you let nothing fly!”

Hitman Holla defeats T-Rex

Recap: Rex probably got the line of the night, but in front of his hometown fans Hitman put on a better show combining hard hitting (“This battle can go from legendary to legend buried!”) bars with personals, more creativity and another dope performance. For a one-rounder, still a close and pretty good battle.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex -“I hold my gun more than I hold my son”

T-Rex defeats Calicoe

Recap: As T-Rex succinctly put it at the beginning of his round 2: “They said the person that wins this battle is the person that’s gonna have the street crowd”. Gun bars, street cred, hustling semantics, Harlem vs. Detroit and some pointed personals were the themes of this battle between Rex and Calicoe, who returned to the URL stage for the first time since his epic loss to Loaded Lux the previous year. For the first couple of rounds, both battlers came with the energy and lived up their rep. A confident Rex shined with some wicked punchlines, heated firearm (“When that mac spraying, you know it’s gonna hit back hand and I’m shooting on the ground in case he act dead!”) gusto and nice performance bars. Despite a somewhat hostile crowd Calicoe (who deserves a knock for talking too much through Rex’s rounds) matched Rex with a couple of ill, versatile rounds, styling on Rex with some formidable (“Dot Mobb, a bunch of bitches, Moulin Rouge!”) personals, amiable wordplay and witty street (“You make death threats? he the type of nigga I give my address out to, like slide through!”) bars. So intense, entertaining and competitive were the first two rounds that you were bound for a letdown in round 3 and unfortunately that was the case. Still, while Rex kept his round short, he was still able to pack in enough hitting (“The drama I’m with it, show up to his funeral in the same clothes I had on when I did it!”) punches and personals to easily take the round (and the win) over Calicoe’s mostly lukewarm bars and righteous filler.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I treat my block like a newborn ass, I’m putting powder on it!”

T-Rex defeats Dizaster

Recap: Despite some scattered boo’s here and there, Dizaster’s first appearance on the URL stage is a solid one as the former KOTD champion’s arsenal of raucous darts, freestyle’s and witty rancor/personals kept things competitive throughout this long-awaited battle versus T-Rex. But a prepared Rex is a dangerous Rex and with the Harlem vet coming through with 3 original and hardbody turns containing often mind-blowing mayhem, stunted street theatrics, mocking personals and righteous gun bars/punchlines, outside of a couple of elongated rounds (that helped Diz score a debatable 1st), a more consistently spicy Rex is able to handily take the latter two rounds for the win.

Verdict: T-Rez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “This summer I make all them (Autumn) fall, my gun’s winter fresh Ruger cocked, move a notch, you’ll be shot, barrel on that .44 smokin’ like a hookah spot, I’ll with that steel, I could show y’all how to use the Glock, my shooters is like Dashiki: they don’t know who to [who da] pop!”

T-Rex defeats Math Hoffa (Rematch)

Recap: One-round rematch between T-Rex and Math is edged by Rex thanks to a couple of (“You had the ghost of B.I.G. in one of your joints like you raw like that, you seen B.I.G. last whip?, my niggas will do your car like that”) haymakers, thus earning a win for Rex who wisely also dropped the fast-rapping that plagued him in the 1st battle and delivery/bar-wise put forth a more consistent and versatile performance. Math had some dope (“After you battled O-Red we had to book you through a weegie board!”) bars here and there and was energetic throughout, but faltered a bit towards the end of his round and relied too much on the same formula he used in the first Rex battle. Still a good show nonetheless with two top tier battlers giving you a rare rematch and as a bonus it even included some scene-stealing appearances by K-Shine and Bonnie Godiva.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex- “Niggas be starting to die if I actually get upset, cuz a nigga play the dick until there’s a magnum’s on his head”

O-Red defeats T-Rex

 

Synopsis: Good to see Rex came to win as too many of the veteran battle rappers still don’t seem to take O-Red seriously (despite the great run’s he on). And yet while I had it tied going into the 3rd round, Red easily took round 3 with enough over-the-top personals and stellar bars to make Rex leave with his first loss in Jersey.

Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1

Best line: O-Red – “You just talk tough, I ain’t gotta show you my cocky side, my machine could do all the talking, Johnny 5”

T-Rex defeats Detour

Recap: T-Rex scoops up that out-of-state money with relative ease, showing off his ‘vet flow’ with a nice mix of braggadocio (“Ask about Rex, I been hard, besides rap, sliding in and out them hoes back like a sim card”) rhymes and gritty punchlines, to score a win over local spitter Detour, who was clearly better at the jokes than he was the bars.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “He ain’t ready for all that, I’m Michael Vick I bring the cameras right where I buried your dog at”

T-Rex defeats Aye Verb

 

Synopsis: Really, what’s not to like about T-Rex since he lost to Math Hoffa a couple of years ago? After all, an inspired Rex belongs in anyone’s Top 5, what with swag, attitude and “grown man” bars (“them shotgun shells is red and lime green, when I squeeze it look like a Gucci crime scene”) that only a true vet knows how to bring. Add everybody’s favorite Summer Madness punching bag, A-Verb (who wasn’t as bad here as he was the year before against Charlie Clips, if that’s saying much) to the mix and Diddy dropping $10K on that 2nd round, and all you’re left with is quality battle rap perfection (well, except for that ass-grabbing).

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 3-0

Best line: T-Rex – “I’ll ride through Verb hood and get his whole team wet, ayo Diddy, I’ma confess to the body 10 years later, I’m like G-Dep!”

Instant classic: Tec-9’s “Get that nigga Rex!!!”

Donnie Menace defeats T-Rex

Synopsis: Rex has admitted in the past to just showing up and getting paychecks. And tho he put on a good show here, I think with more effort and a longer round he could’ve easily beat this guy. That said, the edge here goes to Donnie Menace who came more prepared, had an adept delivery, hilarious jokes along with personals and overall put on a better performance.

Verdict: Donnie Menace (W) 1-0

Best line: Donnie Menace – “You griping a gat isn’t a factor, ‘cuz u like Tom Brady in the Superbowl, nigga all your bullets miss when they matter”

Arsonal da Rebel defeats T-Rex

Recap: Besides an excellent first (“I got a Trick Trick that’ll make you forget what a Shotgun is!”) round from T-Rex, the best thing about this battle might be the footage which featured quality lighting and superb camera positioning throughout. However, thanks to some lame extra shit between Arsonal’s man Ray Swag and Murda Mook (who should know better than to talk during Arsonal’s round), an alright battle is upstaged, a minor brouhaha ensues and everyone has to clear the stage so the battle can be wrapped up. Arsonal wins if for nothing else but packing just enough heat, aggressive (“Boy down and kiss the Chuck’s like you Leroy, nigga!”) bars, schemes and overall versatility in two elongated rounds to edge out Rex’s way-too-short 3rd and just decent 2nd.

Verdict: Arsonal da Rebel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Arsonal da Rebel – “I ain’t never seen Redman or Treach get treated like a sucker, but I did see Cam and Jim Jones both get ran out the Rucker”

T-Rex defeats Artisan

Recap: Despite the fact that Kurt Cobain actually committed suicide (sorry Rex, but it wasn’t an O’D) T-Rex’s infinite gun bars and gritty (“If I decide to hit this dude, his chest will be fishnets and he’ll be insect food”) urban soirees are more than enough to overcome Artisan’s weak (“I could guarantee he fuck with that white girl, his nickname should be Barry Bonds”; “And now I’m at his neck, no hickey”) wordplay and elongated angles here in this battle from Ahat.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Beef with my click we gonna meet with you tonight, these two-fifths I got they don’t equal to a pint!”

T-Rex defeats G-Souldier

Recap: Battling vs. a (“You like a female fucking herself with a dildo Rex, cuz you ’bout as fake as they come [cum])” game and aggressive St. Louis rapper in G Souldier, T-Rex unloads a smashing performance, dropping wisecracks at Aye Verb and Yung Ill, some ill (“Been working out ‘cuz that desert eagle a little stronger”) guns bars and of course, that grown man shit that when Rex is on his A-game, not too many can mess with. Way too short a battle, but nonetheless a win for Rex.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I see the mag, pick it up, squeeze it fast, have his block full of empty shells like they eating crabs”

Yung Ill defeats T-Rex

 

Synopsis: Old Ill: cocky, aggressive, superb wordplay, some personals, bars on top of bars. Really, Rex didn’t stand much of a chance against this version of Ill, but he showed up and made it a match (tho he might’ve used some recycled bars). Still overall, Ill took this one with more consistent and fiery bars.

Verdict: Yung Ill (W) 1-0

Best line: Yung Ill – “I’m like a procrastinating pimp ever since I picked up this pistol, i ain’t put my mac down yet”

T-Rex defeats Conceited

 

Synopsis: The Punchline King vs. Grown Man Bars. Just don’t let all the hate from anti-Dot Mob crowd fool you. While Conceited’s first round was crazy, I thought Rex edged it by amply taking on Con’s lack of street cred as well as a “resume” that fails to come close to matching all the gun talk Con loves to spit. Then while Con’s 2nd round lacked the consistency and punches that he’s widely known for (too bad for Con that the crowd hadn’t quite gotten his “Slow It Down’s” just yet, but then too they weren’t hitting that hard anyway), Rex came through with a superb “Con” scheme that was just mean (esp. that Kanye line) and hitting throughout. 3rd round was way too long and tepid for both of ’em, so give Rex the ‘W’ for taking both of the early rounds.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Best line: Conceited – “When you rhyme like that, with no punchlines and just spit about throwing them flames out, that style is like Benjamin Buttons, that shit was over when it came out”

T-Rex defeats Un Kasa

Recap: Classic street battle (from the original Smack DVD’s) between Harlem vets T-Rex and Un Kasa sees the two battlers spit for 7 gritty rounds with plenty of fans tuned to each and every bar. Uber-condensed with each of his rounds, Un Kasa’s rapid punches, while filled with vigor, for the most part fail to score high on the bar when it comes to potency. And while the boastful, quick-punching style from Rex and Un Kasa defined its era and both rappers were alleged to have gone heavy on the use of mixtape bars, it’s still a more versatile, hard-hitting and more consistent Rex who out-punches his opponent in the opening round and wins this battle handily by taking rounds 3 through 7 too.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 6-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Un, my dot game runs fast like the SWAT game, we real like Batman clothes, we will not change!”

T-Rex defeats Okwerdz

Synopsis: Okwerdz’ 6th grade (“And your vision’s based on movement, but that’s too damn easy, cuz’ I’m making moves but you can’t see me”) rhymes and predictable crowd pleasers don’t stand a chance against an animated and inspired T-Rex who spouts off enough wicked personals, impressions, jokes and greasy bars (tho, not that he could’ve known it at the time, but there’d be plenty of irony to come in lieu of his “C’mon out the closet, you niggas gay, everybody know y’all fronting, y’all be slapping each other on the ass like ‘good game’ and ain’t nobody playing nothing” bar) to take the win. Indeed, so impressive was Rex that you can even forgive him for that “segregation” flub.

Verdict:  T-Rex (W) 3-0

Best line: T-Rex – “I’m a vet I kill niggas on cameras and shit, and he’s a vet, he be dealing with hamsters and shit”

Math Hoffa defeats T-Rex

Recap: Long-awaited showdown between T-Rex and Math Hoffa serves as the first ever URL.TV Main Event, making it a classic no matter what went down. That said, overall it’s Rex’s delivery that lets him down (i.e. ‘girl let me thriller’ – ‘Thriller’?; “I be in Math house when I want some head, I’m ass naked in his living room like ‘Math you want some eggs'”?!?) at times, but Rex’s consistent (“Move!, he pissed Rex off, now he seeing tek’s drawn, dots on his Lex door like I’m playing Connect Four”) aggression and a lazy, joke-heavy 2nd round from Math lets Rex even things up after Math got the first with better punches (“I’m like an A-bomb popping off, Molotov, I spit a Molotov cocktail and spit a Holocaust!”) and versatility. Although Rex still had some gritty (“Little sister had a problem with me digging her out, she was so young I made the Airplane noise tp put my dick in her mouth”) bars left at the end, but last round sees Math win it gripping (“No matter who you battle, you never gonna shine ’cause you living in Mook’s shadow”) personals, wild jokes and a richer performance.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You should take Viagra, you might get a little taller”

T-Rex defeats Midwest Miles

Recap: In this early Smack battle, (“My rock is full of rocks, it’s like the Grand Canyon!”) T-Rex and (“My gun’s like Botox, you’ll get shots in the face!”) Midwest Miles kick rapid punches laced with steely confidence and a whole load of shit-talking. It makes for a fierce, close and competitive battle throughout, much less a sign of each battler’s rigid fortitude to out-punch the other. Rex eventually wins the battle with a more condensed and stronger overall 3rd.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Like a Muslim with a pork chop, there’s no way you want it!”

T-Rex defeats NH

Synopsis: Damn, those Philly dudes always like to keep it close. Still, while NH came hard throughout, his lines were no match for Rex’s grittier bars, schemes and slicker wordplay.

Verdict: T-Rex (W0 3-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “I’m social-anti, I stay to myself, guns, I shot my own shadow I don’t play with myself”