No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: In a solid freestyle battle that took place at the HighTimes Cannabis Cup in San Bernardino, CA, an admittedly high Dizaster still out-punches Krack City brethren Proaktive in the first two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Faggot sucks, he’s the only dude at the Cannabis Cup that doesn’t have any bud!”
Recap: Sleeper battle between D.O.T. and the New Jersey reppin C Low as a competitive matchup is decided by the 3rd round, what with Low edging round 1 with better bar (“I’ll leave you O-Solo [oh so low] with this Tek-9, and slam your cap to the floor like you just spit a T-Rex line”) potency, while D.O.T. got the 2nd by displaying more (“I’m in your bitch C Low!, whether you ace or not cuz around 1, 2 or 3…regardless D.O.T. [dot] in her box!”) versatility along with a nicer overall performance. The final round sees C Low continue to put on a tactical (“I’m an animal leaving nigga’s brain dead, out in the street with one boot and skully, looking like Waynehead”) barfest with each line delivered with a titled mission. However, D.O.T.’s 3rd round one-ups his 2nd and with his stellar delivery, similes, showmanship and history (“You supreme? show up in court…Supreme…Court, I’ll harm you, I’ll be the first negro banging hammers in court nigga, that’s Thurgood Marshall!”) lessons staying on point, it’s another victory for Brooklyn and the Dot Mobb.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “Catch him while he boo loving, heart shot!”
Recap: HA Double uses repeated personals, swift punchlines, punishing poetic haymakers, exquisite (“When some [sun] hot flashes at this bitch, it ain’t menopause!”) wordplay and crazy bars to put a hurting on local rival BC in this one-rounder from New Orleans Battle League.
Verdict: HA Double (W) 1-0
Favorite line: HA Double – “They picked you money as the Walking Dead, but I’ll still Rob a Zombie”
Recap: Solid turn by (“Don’t talk that trap shit to me neither, I done sold all kind of things, nigga we went through more bowls than one of your favorite college teams!”) Grandaddy Purp gets over overrun by a more (“I heard you fuck with young bitches, so don’t start with me, you famous for making kids cum [come]…Walt Disney!”) diverse and systematically nice Chef Trez in this one-rounder from Ball Hogg Battle League.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’ll give you a thousand dollars, then kill you, when I blam, fam in hell, Ninja Turtle shit…you’ll get a Bandana [bam then] shell!”
Recap: After an abbreviated 1st round that saw him struggle with his flow and cut his turn short, Yung Griz swipes away the nerves and delivers a couple of flexing rounds filled with spicy punchlines and boastful/witty screeds to come back and get the win over the speedy, but mostly bland stylings of CodexP in this 3-rounder from Casual Conflicts.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “Where ypu get off, talking all that fuck shit?…this ain’t the Party line!”
Recap: In this one-rounder from WeGoHardTV, some spitfire bars here (“You a Birdman, that shit so lame, but if I catch you with ya Rich Homie Quan?, you ain’t even gonna see the snub, just the nose ring!”) and there from Jonnie Danger still serves as no match when faced with the relentless heat, fiery (“I never talk to 5-0, ‘cuz where I’m from, they know the grip toast, and move like the Taliban, get low, wait till he get clipped then [phrooomm!!!] like the dollar van!”) set-ups and urban street talk from Dougy.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dougy – “The clip about as long as a ruler, I don’t need aim, I just empty the clip, soon as it click-clack nigga, if I shoot and I miss, my man gonna bang…that’s a put-back nigga!”
Recap: In this freestyle battle from Don’t Flop, DNA’s fierce rebuttal game proves to be too much for noted freestyler Dotz as the NWX capo takes 6 of the 10 (edged 3 for Dotz with one tie) rounds here for the win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 6-3-1
Favorite line: DNA – “That was cool but you still not killing me, I’m beating you lyrically, you could bring my mom’s wheelchair and still wouldn’t have this ability [disability]!”
Recap: Fiery, rapid-fire punchlines, mocking personals, witty barbs, piercing gun bars and plenty of workmanlike wordplay along the way as Ave easily takes all 3 rounds of this 3-round Trap House battle against a confident, but mostly subpar Ah Di Boom.
Verdict: Ave (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ave – “Got the strap, but never use it…he like a lonely dyke!”
Recap: Spitting fierce gun bars along with all-too-aggressive punchlines, Shotgun Suge has just enough left in his tank to outperform the fast-rap style and reflective (“Stop asking what’s life like if you ain’t living your dream”) stylings of Theory Truth.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Favorite Line: Shotgun Suge – “My niggas will chase your gang around the city like the Warriors”
Recap: Rosenberg and Jai put on a spirited battle on the RBE stage and it’s Jai who comes out on top with hard-hitting bars, delicious (“Just know whatever I hold in these hands I’m squeezing, they’ll find body parts of Rose’s [roses] everywhere, EMS won’t know whether if it’s a homicide or a romantic evening”) anecdotes, steady name flips and enough personals to make Rosenberg want to seek out a confessional. Almost a 3-0, but credit for Rosenberg for hanging in there, making it close and edging the 3rd round with that “stealing crabs like Jameis Winston” line.
Verdict: Jai (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jai – “You not a man of your words, 50 vs. Ross, I can’t believe the shit Rozay [Rose say]”
Recap: Proving once again that consistently taking battle rap seriously is still not an objective, Qleen Paper gives us yet another shady performance in a battle he should’ve easily won against Tone Bone. To think, he actually edged round with a variety of jokes and some solid punchlines versus mostly standard lines from Mr. Bone. But then in a move that totally came outta left field, Qleen literally gives away his 2nd round by letting new BFF QP spit for more than half the round–bars that wouldn’t even counted if they were dope considering that another man spit them. Last round finds Qleen serving up more style points than substance, allowing Bone to take advantage with a better delivery, despite having nothing all that spectacular to say, the effort alone makes for a debatable…smh.
Verdict: Tone Bone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “I tried to instruct him, but he was lost from the first step like an A.I. defender”
Recap: Extra spicy on the personal breakdowns (esp. during a spitfire, perfectly-executed 3rd round) throughout this match, Kid Chaos also uses a boatload of fiery schemes, hard-hitting name flips and piercing punchlines/set-ups to handily beat back a mostly modest punching I Am Spoken in this 3-rounder from Barbarian Rap League.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “You see the difference playa?, you got bars, but obviously don’t know what to do with it, but see my mom and my dad gave me presence [presents] I’m too gifted!”
Recap: Conceited hosts a mostly lackluster battle between Lil Joe and V6 Quan, that thanks to Joe’s righteous name flips and hard-hitting punchlines garners an easy 3-0 over the very basic bars of Quan.
Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Chopper will turn you inside out, you better pray your skin’s reversible, I’ll turn that soft top…back, you’ll be a V6 convertible!”
Recap: A distinct looking oddity in battle rap still capable of spitting that resident (“You too soft, I don’t have to bang .9’s, if I walk up on you, the braids on the back of that neck will get hang time!”) heat, Young Robbles’ sizzling, bar-centric 1st round more than spouts his mettle. However, when resorting to crowd-pleasers and jokes it’s a different story as the predictability and lack of dearth in bars begin to show. Subsequently, for opponent Presidential Dubz, with a Proving Grounds opportunity on the line, a well-balanced flow throughout, but especially in rounds 2 and 3, dominated by fierce (“They say in America, everybody deserve to be treated equally right?, therefore I’m letting it blicka, ‘cuz I don;t give a fuck if you retarded, you getting killed like a regular nigga!”) bars, nice wordplay and frenzied schemes combined with Robbels overall descent, allows him to keep his place on the roof.
Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “A retarded nigga trying to be a captain…Major Payne!”
Recap: Able to survive an Arsonal (“Y’all got me battling a white boy on Black Friday…I could be in somebody line purchasing some cheap shit!”; “Ya bird give long neck, but ain’t fly, that’s an ostrich!”) onslaught of verbal gymnastics in round 2, overall Bigg K’s more consistent flow, punchline regimen and hard-hitting (“Broad day you get in the intersection, lick one in the air like I’m testing the wind direction!”) gun bars gets him the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Have your wifey and your sister do the dishes, after that they sucking dick, then little stupid bitches…I’mma make ’em split the pole, they ain’t superstitious!”
Recap: An AngryFan Radio 1-rounder between J. Murda and Chef Trez goes the latter’s way as the Chef’s more intricate punches, pointed mayhem and well-finessed wordplay work together to easily beat back Murda’s righteous boasts and mostly pedestrian forms of mayhem.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’m strapped up, just know that I’m always close to the .44 like Michelle Obama!”
Recap: Spirited as always but cohesive with the heat, while also displaying a fierce punchline game, some fiery name flips and even a bit of rocking humor, Danny Myers’ versatile mix of piercing punches is just enough to beat back a pretty solid, witty at times and raucous King Diesel in this competitive 3-rounder from Bars and Bodybags.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Force of a Mac truck within my grip, I’m just looking for a Diesel I can match this Semi with!”
Recap: Exquisite wordplay, wicked (“You’ll get a ring for nuthin’, that’s a TracFone black”) anecdotes and split-hairing bars, it’s all there as Xcel lives up to the title on his t-shirt against an at times game, but clearly overmatched Beach.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “Put your eyes in your mouth little nigger, watch who you talk to”
Recap: Much as I’m sure the hardbody fans of battle raps in Detroit must’ve appreciated Charlie Clips (vs. Marv Won on the same card) and DNA making an in-town appearance, there’s just too much experience, similarity in styles and chances of a classic matchup for a DNA vs. M. Ciddy matchup to be reduced to a one-rounder. Smh. Nonetheless, while they both went in on the personals, name flips, (DNA: “What you thought cuz you was on this card you was get the power?, well they kill whoever I Battle so they should’ve gave Ciddy [Citty] towers”), jokes and (Ciddy: “You slept on me for a long time…Charlie’s sofa”) punches, it’s M. Ciddy who edges this one with better angles (ex. calling out his opponent’s rhyme pattern), a couple of more haymakers and a slightly performance, home crowd notwithstanding.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “You name drop every punch about a current event, you Tanqueray, you just a cheap version of Jin [gin]”
Recap: It takes an all-out, impressive performance to 3-0 the likes of Big Kannon and Ill Kill pulls it off here. Consistently impressing throughout with a fresh plate of aggressive gun bars, pristine (“You beating me, you gotta be Smokin’, stay off the grass, this is Stanley talking”) anecdotes, filthy wordplay, wicked snaps, and dope (“But if I’m hungry and starving and this fella be eating, this .40 going ‘Right On My Brother’ like a 70s greeting”) punchlines, a motivated and confident Ill Will reminds everyone in the building of why he was a UFF champion. And while Kannon no doubt cooked (“I got fire rounds, punches that’s gonna burn Will, I do a have a couple to take you out, in the 3rd wheel”) throughout, a little too much filler/name flips, a couple of weak rebuttals and a steady dose of Ill Will’s righteous heat just gave him little chance at winning.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ill Will – “I know how to make you and Gracie enemies like that, put a banana between y’all that’s Gorilla warfare!”
Recap: Battling himself with 3 way-too-lengthy rounds as much as he was his pedestrian-prone opponent TheSaurus, a punch-heavier was adept (esp. after a 1st round choke) enough with the pen to remain consistently spicy, via a wide load of racially-tinged barbs, fierce gun bars, boastful darts and gritty personals, in the latter rounds and come back for the win in this 3-rounder from Filmon.com.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “I’m from a block where nigger’s hand that raw tho, you the type of cracker that’ll stop at a red light…on Grand Theft Auto!”
Recap: Not much to see here as even an inconsistent Danja Zone’s best (“Every buck go in [gone] like Robin Givens”; the Doug E. Fresh bar/impression) moments were simply overwhelmed by KG the Poet’s wicked (“Get out the way from the .40 when it double, you see that big shot? [‘Bob!‘] that’s Robery Horry from the clutch”) performance bars, slick wordplay, substantive personals, jokes (“You battle rap’s Tevin Campbell”), sport bars and aggressive delivery. Toss in a dope rebuttal at the start of round 3 and you have an easy 3-0, no overtime necessary.
Verdict: KG the Poet (W) 3-0
Favorite line: KG the Poet – “I’ll hit you with a Tek, I will flare, the shit will make you feel weird, like you living with your ex”
Recap: Judging from the animated (“For thinking you the best, my bars will send you back home in a grave, [Pow!] that’s how you fly South West!”) bars, drips of sweat and constant aggression there’s no doubt that J Leggs was extra hype for this battle against Showoff. Plus, it’s hard to beat that real talk Leggs was spitting in round 3, which he won partly because of Showoff’s choke. But all that still wasn’t enough to beat two rounds of consistently dope wordplay, a sanguine delivery and uncompromising (“You a mark, in the flesh, like tribal status”) bars from the visiting team.
Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Showoff – “Back to bubbling water, that was a Gremlin line”
Recap: Sporting a faster and more relaxed flow than the 2016 version, Bangz easy comedic (“Every Bud like sex with superheroes….fucking fantastic!”) stylings and witty freestyle game are more than enough to beat a sometimes (“You look like a crackhead taking a dump, so rock with this shit!”) banging, but clearly overmatched Jak Tripper.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bangz -“And I’ll give you the skinny on where it stems from like…Bye Felecia!”
Recap: Entertaining battle between HA Double and Ah Di Boom makes for a dope show as well as a competitive matchup throughout. However, it’s HA’s wordplay, aggression, “reach” (“You fuck up more words than people with dyslexia”) angles and haymakers that edged him rounds 1 and 3 to get the win, despite Boom’s spirited (loved the ‘chainsaw’ screed in round 1) performance and at times, crazy bars–tho he did seem to falter towards the end.
Verdict: HA Double (W) 2-1
Favorite line: HA Double – “Your bars are like bitches who give hand jobs from the back, you just reach around”
Recap: Three scintillating, punch-heavy rounds by Haixian that were also delivered extra spicy when it came to wordplay, were enough to beat a solid and gritty, but also (except for round 3, where he scored a debatable) topsy-turvy Quban in this 3-rounder from Bar Bendas Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Haixian – “Like a razor blade in prison, I’ll sneak him in the mouth!”
Recap: Some riveting punchlines, fiery bars and an opponent, Gquban, who was mostly in over his head, allows Haixian to overcome a wasted 2nd round and still score a 3-0.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Haixian – “But what you gonna do Baby Boy, when them shells is spitting? We’d [weed] be up all up in the garden like Melvin did it!”
Recap: In a one-round battle for who better reps that ‘money’, Mo edges a solid (“If y’all say Mo’s bar on fire…Simpson’s episode!”) Ish with flexing performance bars, more consistent heaters, harder punchlines and dicier wordplay.
Verdict: Mo Mula (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mo Mula – “They ask me why I do shit like this on stage, nigga ‘cuz they like [Daylyt]!”
Recap: Traphouse’s J Murda makes his URL debut and it goes off without a hitch. Using nasty verbal hijinks, steady wordplay, on-point freestyles, crazy nice (“I bet your steel won’t wave like a metal flag”) punchlines, dope (“But believe me, to make it here, it wasn’t easy [but] they seen the way I was shooting God [guard], like he small, moving with power forward, made me the center of attention with a PG”) anecdotes together with all-too-confident swag, Murda gets an easy dub over Stebo. Who despite having moments of temporary shine and dope (“Your girl give me head while I’m driving, sometimes you gotta go with your gut”) punches, got tripped up by too many stumbles along with his opponent’s consistent heat to stand a chance here.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda -“But I’m dead tight they gave you the trip, ‘cuz I was with it to go to Atlanta, yunno to be the good sport, Al Horford and Kyle KorverCal, that’s just to give you a few Hawks”
Recap: A stellar first round (performance & wordplay) by Prez and a more quantitative 3rd edged him a dub here as while Foz dropped some nice bars here and there, too much filler and elongated punchlines left him coming up just short.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1
Favorite line: prez mafia – “I’mma come through dumping a .9 early, this is war, I keep two straps, let’s try…nigga that’s one out and one down, prez looking like 9:30!”
Recap: Replacing an absent Uno Lavos at the last minute with only a couple of hours prep, DNA flexes his battle rap acumen by mostly freestyling his entire round. And with a boatload of piercing punches and personals, the Queens, NY vet does just enough to score a sufficient amount of haymakers to edge the witty at times, but overall so-so written’s from Rone in this KOTD rematch.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “I don’t respect you Rone, the last time I was so upset, I came up last time with a bomb and you still ain’t blow up yet!”
Recap: Sometimes Goodz just makes it look too easy. Not to say Ah Di Boom wasn’t game here, what with his usual top-notch performance all the while spitting some extra cripsy (“You pull bitches, I pull triggers, there’s a difference in Mack’s”) heat that served as a reminder as to why Goodz gave this ‘PG’ a shot in the first place. But in a one-rounder against the likes of Mr. Half-a-Gallon, Ah Di’s few dry spots were enough for Goodz to take advantage. And that he did with a heavy barrage of rich bars, steady jokes, winning (“Now getting money I’m nice tho, your green too small to talk, this ain’t Geico”) metaphors and wicked (“In the lunchroom I had my own table, you ain’t ever laugh with the cool niggas”) stunting on the wordplay. Taking time out hid busy schedule to school another young’un, you’re only left to wonder what it’d be like if he battled more often.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Goodz – “How do steal a nigga’s body shape?”
Recap: Battle of a couple of Long Island’s best stays (Mike P: “Your stage presence match who you is, a bitch God, 5 bodies under my belt Rell, don’t be a 6th God!”) exhilarating, scheme-heavy and close throughout, with an elongated, but consistently (“I”m surprised you took this battle, ‘cuz the one you had with Chicago proved you got trouble dodging punches, but not for nothing this will be the first you seen Mike drop…Buster Douglas!”) fiery Reepah Rell taking the first, while Mike P edged the second with a more versatile (“Your crackhead baby mom’s ain’t that bad, I mean the next lane, but she kind look like Beyonce…when she was drugged out at the Nets game!”) line of fire as well as a higher bar quotient. Last round had them both spitting that (Mike P: “I got two .40’s, when they crack you won’t know English, No! two 40’s in my hand, get cracked with Old English!”) heat, but a slight slip-up from Mike and Rell’s more intense (“These cartoon-ass nigga’s, comedian nigga’s, they need to man up, ain’t no laughs with these punch lines, if you dead on the floor, how the fuck you gonna stand up [stand-up]!”) haymakers, gives the guy from Hempstead the win.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “See you, like a fan to me, nigga’s like you claim they got guns, but not saying a thing, you never had arms, you that hand from the Addams Family!”
Recap: Marv One deserves props for making this match close, but as Charlie Clips made sure to point out that’s mostly because he rapped way longer (not that Clips should be upset with that considering how long he went against fellow Michigan spitter X-Factor not too long ago) than his opponent. Still withstanding a dope round of frequent personals, jokes and hot (“You trying to fight Jesus in Bethlehem and a couple of heathens got you down to win, but I bet that change when they see me walking on the same waters you drowning in”) bars from Marv with a more condensed mix of rebuttals, scoring (“We could throw the hands Marv, on some real shit I need a new challenge, uppercut, you’ll get zzz’s on your ftee now that’s a New Balance”) punchlines, a couple of haymakers, working schemes and winning personals, Clips is able to hold off a near upset.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “When you do the uncut version of ‘8 Mile 2’ tell Eminem I’m the celebrity”
Recap: If this battle was a one-rounder, Uno Lavos and Young X might”ve had a classic on their hands. That’s how incredible and crazy round 1 was as both Young X (“I ain’t no blood I don’t care if it’s poppin’, but I’ll leave a blue Crip flat in the street like handicap parking”) and Lavos spit that heat, landing blow after low with repeatedly dope punchlines, personals, jokes and bars. If only X had been as entertaining (against the likes of Uno that’s not easy I know, but X has readily shown in the past that he can be a crowd pleaser) as his opponent, which coupled with more haymakers gave Uno the first round. After that things got pretty light as X just couldn’t deliver the consistency, performance and standout (lines like “I’ll put that metal all through your shirt, no coat hanger” didn’t go over anyone’s head, they just didn’t hit) bars we’re used to seeing from him. Yet, while Uno landed some punches with the “reach” jokes, Young X doesn’t have a rep for reaching and his round was a little too short. Come the 3rd, Young X continued to disappoint (“Lyrically I’m sick, this how Aids sound”) with the bars to the point where you might’ve thought this couldn’t be the same guy who had a near classic/debatable battle against the likes of Brizz Rawsteen. After X’s turn, with an easy dub at hand, Uno stepped it up with a slew of jokes, personals and nice flips on X’s flow/style, just enough to overlook that slip-up/near choke towards the end and take the win.
Verdict: Uno Lavos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavos – “I said who told you you could get on this stage to rock with me?, I got two guns, Rick Ross, Ja Rule, both spitting about 50”
Recap: 3-rounder from For MCs By MCs finds Heretic turning up his bar efficiency in the 3rd round to take that round. But beforehand with nothing much to offer but two straight turns of mediocrity, even a condensed Jey The Nitewing dipped in a punch game that was witty at times but still overall more so-so than you’d expect, manages to score with enough solid darts throughout the opening rounds to gain the win.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Your name is like, as far as battle goes, top two on the fuck list, the only name I could think of worse than that is Dick Butkus!”
Recap: In this entertaining battle from HeaviiTV, Kyd Slade’s hard (“You banging?!?, I got a special way of handling you fools, shove your flag in the dirt…like I just landed on the moon!”) gun lines and gritty street bars manages to eke out a win over Bangz’s more off-the-dome stylings, many of which (“Your chain get snatched, after that I’ll take it outside, do it like this [makes like waving it in the air] and then bring it back!”) landed in a grandiose 2nd round, but couldn’t keep to Slade’s more raucous and consistent pedigree in the 1st and 3rd.
Verdict: Kyd Slade (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kyd Slade – “The gun large and that’s my broad, I feel like Cole rocking with Big Shirley!”
Recap: Clever set-ups, repeatedly nice (“You can spit a 16 full of compliments and still not give me a nice verse!”) punches and some ill wordplay, it’s all there for a confident Bangz over an uneven (“And your girl gave me straight face, she don’t believe in the rapture”) Sicarii in this one-round matchup from We Go Hard.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bangz – “Your shirty face is atrocious…that shit only look appealing next to nuts!”
Recap: Even tho he clearly overhyped some of his “Bars!” throughout, against the mostly basic lines and head-scratching spiels from Arcane, it’s Cortez, who after overwhelming his opponent in round one, has just enough jokes and personals to edge the second and hang in there for a dub, in what was otherwise a pretty lackluster battle.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “He’s alright, he can craft lyrics and punchlines, he’s so nice, I asked him who’s favorite rapper? he don’t bite, Jay-Z, what a coincidence, he don’t write”
Recap: Similar styles make for a close 3-round battle between Young X and St. Louis’ SK. Indeed, gregarious name (“Ya bitch suck dicks and bring money back to my car, that’s how I pimp my ride, put her on eXhibits!”) flips, potent gun bars, dope schemes, random (SK: “Boy I bet this nigga sweeter than a grape vest, one of them ho type nigga’s, that make threats through a hate text!”; “You useless to this sport, like dick-suckers with no necks”) jokes that hit and scheming braggadocio (Young X: “No wrestler with paint on my face, the way I steam this nigga, he try to copy what I do that let you know that bro ain’t smart, y’all remember how steam used to come on the ring?…, well this Owen Hart!”; “You so pussy, if you could, you would run off and leave yourself!”) lines make for an intense, but electric matchup throughout. However, after splitting the first two rounds, it’s SK’s nice rebuttals, nice freestyle game and continual verbal onslaught that stand out to gets him the win.
Verdict: SK (W) 2-1
Favorite line:: SK – “Talk that drug shit in St. Louis and try and roam, nigga X will get silenced…xXlophone!”
Recap: Too much filler along with way too flat energy does Jay Scott in. But then against Xcel’s sweet esoteric bars, fiending (“I’ll break my foot in your ass, then cut you to get my boot back”) aggression and constant verbal hijinks, this wasn’t much of a contest.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “I’ll bring the ‘SK’ in [skin] to anyONE who push your melon in [MELANIN], nigga I spelled the shit because your skin tone is your melanin!”
Recap: “Wordplay?” Nigga my words ain’t to played with!” LOL!!! Despite Swave Sevah making his presence felt with ‘new niggas’ affirmations, heavy name flips and aggressive bars, it wasn’t enough to beat Show Off’s gritty (“That’s why I decided to earth you, the led will blow, hella smoke, do you greasy, you old, live, all you see is glasses in the air, that’s a wedding toast”) polemics, self-deprecating (“I’m crazy, fit for what’s in store like I be shopping with Rex”) jokes, hitting personals and flat-out (“I run up on Swave with one arm cocked, he die comfortably only because he was raised that way”) haymakers. Credit to Swave for going with the direct approach dipped with biting tutorials throughout, but thanks in part to a shortened round 2 and some flat bars, yet mostly due to Show Off’s bouyant package, performance and delivery, the young’un decidedly took the first couple of rounds and with that the win.
Verdict: Show Off (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Show Off “‘How’ and ‘Who’ got the same letters, don’t question me Swave”
Recap: A consistent, forever animated and bar heavy Steamz puts forth arguably his best performance against Prez Mafia, who like Superman just seemed to get weaker and weaker the more his opponent kept pulling out the kryptonite. Round one was easily Mafia’s best, an impressive display considering how dope Steamz (“Remember I said I don’t know why they called you his clone? Sike I lied like the next ‘Born was offered a dome”) first round was as well. Yet, using a steady stream of winning personals against Steams and his team, whipping out potent performance bars and earning the crowd reaction with gripping (“Cuz niggas said they want that old Prez back, so meet Bill Clinton”) punchlines, Prez just outwitted Steams and seemed to be on his way to an easy dub. Too bad for him this version of Steamz came willfully prepared, staying on the attack with witty (“Get Prez a dental plan [Presidential], cuz whatever he’s doing ain’t working, it’s like Obamacare”) wordplay, wild anecdotes and too-nice personals versus a round of too many elongated set-ups and subpar personals between a couple of haymakers from mafia. 3rd round was an easy win for Steams, too many hot (“Tell ‘Born I still body sidekicks like War Machine”) bars, an ill performance and hitting personals throughout against a short, slip-up steady and completely tired out mafia.
Verdict: Steams (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Steamz – “This average nigga, don’t move me like Thor’s hammer”
Recap: Never a surprise to see a couple of Michigan heads get in the ring with each other regardless their stature in the game. And that’s a good thing as X-Factor and Ill Will put on a dope show for their hometown fans. Still, Will gets the 3-0, scoring more points in each round with feelgood (“You shouldn’t be talking about dumping the rocks, when them little niggas fought at our last event, you damn near jumped in my pocket…”) personals, stinging gun bars and fierce (“He scared to throw a bullet like Revis lurking”) punchlines to overcome a comedic and at times hard-hitting (“I got the .9 and before I bust, watch him straighten up, that’s a well alignment”), but too inconsistent with the bars, often elongated with the set-ups and (“I hate you so much that if you was a bitch I’d rape you”?!?) nonsensical X-Factor.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ill Will – “I done done shit that your ass don’t know about, he getting paid? I’m taking ‘x’ amount of dollars like I don’t know the count”
Recap: Close enough battle and a dope (“See, you got an IQ of 160, but you couldn’t cop the haiku’s I spit in one 16“) 3rd round from Cee Major, but elongated rounds can’t make up for two rounds frequented by too many lame bars and weird (“You advocate a lifestyle. I’m just glad it didn’t take my brudda’s life”?!?) angles against the likes of Chilla Jones who looks more like your local postman than a gangsta. That said, tho he clearly didn’t put forth much of an effort in the 3rd, Jones way more condensed wordplay, potent (“Cee Major?, you look like a teenager, your name should be ‘A minor'”) name flips, aggression, schemes and weighty punchlines were more than enough to take the first couple of rounds and with that the win.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “I got a toast, that’ll raise his glasses.”
Recap: Granted, it’s funny how so many opponent’s bring up Anubis’ very basic wardrobe at that BET/UFF battle versus Brizz Rawsteen some time back. But style points aside, the Michigan rapper’s ability to deliver fire punchlines, gritty tutorial raps and stinging set-ups with a rapid Midwest twang usually serve as his breadwinner as he shows again here, dropping consistent heat to easily beat back an often elongated and mostly standard Ceph Deezy.
Verdict: Anubis (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Anubis – “Tho you getting slumped with honor, you like Colombiana…a bitch that wanna kill, but don’t knwo shit about the world yet!”
Recap: Besides a couple of ever-so-slight slip-ups, Mo Mula does his thing here with a confident flow that nicely combined fierce (“When I shoot around [a round] it make everybody in your circle leave, that’s a rec center”) punches with some dope performance bars and fervid (“I stay with the tre-pound, like a mom with a premature baby”) wordplay. However, overall Teewhy does his thing one better with aggressive name flips and (“For you, I had to write for real, and for me, the nigga had to write his will, the will to write got a nigga itching to kill, I will [throws right hand at Mula’s face] right Mula like I’m paying with a check for the bill!”) schemes that mixed well with salient braggadocio lines along with righteous (“These bullets donkeys in rewind, that mean they knock his ass backwards!”) gun bars in this fiery one-rounder between two of Colosseum Battle League’s best.
Verdict: Teewhy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Teewhy – “See these Money schemes, y’all probably thinking stop it, but I’m just flipping Mula [moolah] to show y’all I’m a fucking prophet!”
Recap: Damn, antics or no antics, respect his grind because Daylyt stay battling. Still, as shown here against Moses West, taking too many battles back to back can be a hindrance esp. when it comes to recycled (see: Daylyt vs. Pat Stay) bars. In addition a lukewarm 3rd round proved to be too much of a liability when trying to keep up with West’s, delivery, derisive (“Battle raps biggest celebrity, all you had to was sign away your integrity”) personals and righteous (“It’s Florida, your rep’s like your vote nigga, it don’t count!”) wordplay.
Verdict: Moses West (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Daylyt – “You say you’re not afraid of birds, well you better fear the hawk, [cuz] all you gonna hear is ‘blah, blah, blah’ like I don’t want to hear you talk”
Recap: As is accustomed with The TrapNY, another hot 3-rounder, this time Bing Nation and Fettuccino20, complete with a load of festive (Fetty: “Keep playing them games, I’ll [makes spitting sound] hawk him like Al Horsford!”) braggadocio bars and cold (Bing Nation: “If you got a problem then come and see me, if Karma’s a bitch then I’m a choke her, just call me Beasley!”; “Jump, and get your circle full of lead, like I’m filling out a test in here!”) wordplay. Close throughout and split going into the 3rd, it’s Fettuccino20 who outlasts his opponent’s solid turn through the use of hotter (“They all about them scandals if you talking bread, so jusr remember, Heaven or Hell, the only two places where you can walk in dead [Walking Dead]!”) lines and a more steadier flow.
Verdict: Fettuccino20 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fettuccino20 – “You battle rap’s Young Thug…an abomination!”
Recap: Proving once again that he’s at his best when he drops the multiple choice schemes and isn’t stealing other people’s shit (tho he remains steadfastly in denial about the latter) John John da Don mimics his Grind Time days and uses stellar bars and solid anecdotes to take the first two rounds and beat Don’t Flop President Eurgh in a spirited battle. Visiting all the way from the UK Eurgh put on a pretty good show and certainly had his moments with some wicked metaphors, jokes, (“So I came to belittle John ‘cuz you forgot about your native roots, YOU came to belittle John, now you’re an outcast [Outkast] because they don’t like The Way You Move”) wordplay along with a couple of decent rebuttals thrown in the mix, but too many Multiple Choice shots and inconsistency with the quality of his bars did him in long before JJDD practically gave him the 3rd with a short round that was hit-or-miss personals (the DNA quip being the best of ’em), Meanwhile, whether JJDD was hitting with the gun (“You see this .40? get out the way, have respect for your elders”) quips or coming heavy on the (“Give this foreign bitch a ring, like I was trying to get a Visa”) punches, along with some dope set-ups and performance bars, all said it was more than enough to take the win.
Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John da Don – “Y’alll wanna hear a sad but true story about this fucking corn? He took his girl out her birthday while their love was strong, but she left with another nigga’ and made a fucking porn, he seen it and apologized like he the one that did something wrong”
Recap: Dope, 3-rounder between Barzz McKay and Jakkboy Maine sees each battler flex with the wordplay throughout the match, while also delivering intrinsic punchlines that kept the battle competitive. Still, for all the hoopla from the crowd and performance-heavy bangers from each side, after a more potent Jakkboy easily took the 1st round. But with slightly more consistency rich lines in both the 2nd and 3rd rounds, it’s Barrz McKay who ends up edging this one for the win.
Verdict: Barzz McKay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Barzz McKay – “In the hood, you don’t exist…you are the 9 train!”
Recap: A spirited comeback for Mack Mel, who survives some mean bars from Lev Corso in the deciding 3rd with his own performance-ringing palette of stinging gun bars and fiery punchlines to earn the win and do Mr. Miyagi proud.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “When I palm the flare, this shit will rip up his legs…warm-up gear!”
Recap: “Just having fun”. In rounds 1 and 3 anyway, Tay Roc literally toys with DNA here, using steel gripping (“Fuck you and the clique you rep, red beam on your lip. looking like a lit cherry on a cigarette”) lines, gritty gun (“Roc tripping, I will let a glock hit him, man the can come from under the shirt like I’m shoplifting”) bars, congenial name flips, Dot Mobb (for every diss DNA hurled at Dot Mobb, Roc had an answer) darts, a killer rebuttal for his boy Smack and hard (“That tooth, that’s in your mouth? I ain’t got time for all that [instead] I’ll put a loose one in ya mouth like you ain’t buy a whole pack”) personals to overwhelm what was exactly a pretty nice round (“I tell my man keep ya eyes on the clock, so when I shot at 8:59, all y’all gonna see is 9 on the Dot”) from DNA. And while DNA stepped it up round two, using aggressive bars. feelgood (“Since he for peace [4 piece] tell Smack to set it up with Factz if you get the cheese, cuz’ once I serve Tay with this Big Mac I’mma give Mickey these”) wordplay and dope personals (“See? When DNA don’t make sense it’s because I freestyled it, thought of it this very minute, when you don’t make sense you went home, took time out and it was written”) to outwit a pretty average 2nd round from Roc, dissing Smack on SMACK and his boy/fan fave Charlie Clips just made no sense, much less did letting the crowd get to him considering how long DNA’s been in the game for (and he must remember THIS, right?). Indeed, with this battle now posted if DNA’s ever gonna get that match he wants so bad with Mook, he’s gonna have to show more poise, consistency and come up with a better game plan.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I am pure violence, I don’t decide peace, pimp shit, i came with my main bitch and my sidepiece, aim it at that side, you could tell that whole side peace, i done hot so many niggas with the side piece, I lost a sidepiece!”
Recap: Cruger is definitely a beast (“You’re about as threatening as Conceited in leather trousers”) with the comedy, but relying strictly on jokes and personals doesn’t hold up here against the better variety of styles/bars (and a couple of rebuttals) that DNA was spitting. Close battle nonetheless, but I got DNA’s overall schemes, wordplay, personals and performance edging the first couple of rounds for the dub.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Honestly, I’ll run up in ya flat and tops get blown up, so Eurgh catch the fade, if not I’ll get Cru [crew] cut”
Recap: Credit to Dynamo Dan for an aggressive and gritty punch game throughout this competitive, 3-round, Showtime Battle Arena match against Nu Jerzey Twork. But armed with a boatload of spicy similes, fiery/rapid punchlines, gripping mayhem and witty barbs, it’s Twork who earns the 30 here.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Drive-by, I’ve been hanging out a Honda with a whole clip, nigga still had an automatic when he drove stick!”
Recap: ‘That shit was barbaric!’ Granted, (“It ain’t your turn yet, but you need to wait, like a skinny body, boy I’m shooting Nebraska initials…that’s N E body!”) Chef Trez and (“Nigga, you extra tender, I’ll knock two years out your ass, you won’t wake up till next next November!”; “You throw a lot of punches, but still ain’t doing shit with ’em nigga, you Dragon Fly Jones!”) Craig Lamar can certainly claim a barfest of a battle in this fiery matchup on the Spit Dat Heat stage. But at the end of the day it’s Trez’s more intricate wordplay, flagrant (“I’ll shoot ya mom’s and her son, I’m a pipe gripper, U F [F’d] C I told you I was trung ti fight Silva!”) gun bars, freestyle pedigree and consistent heat that altogether prove to be more advantageous than his opponent, edging him all three rounds and a well-earned win.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “…or none of them gun bars, and I’m a get mad if y’all really believe it, I’ll blow your brain threw your grill when I squeeze it, you’ll be spilling ya insides threw ya mouth like revealing a secret!”
Recap: Whether he’s spitting bars or dishing antics Daylyt’s always gonna go for broke. Still, his litany of jaunty bars and haywire (“I had a gun so BIG, it got married to Faith Evans!”) jokes here aren’t (btw, “Whoomp There It Is” was by Tag Team, not The 69 Boyz) consistent enough to overcome an inspired Quest Mcody, whose more witty (“That .38 take JJ fish with it, a special ed”) punchlines and variety of aggressive bars as well as well-hitting (“You probably saw the title of this venue and thought you could let a nigga ride your magic stick”) personals resonate enough to get him a close, but well-earned win.
Verdict: Quest MCody (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Daylyt – “I lift an arm for Quest chin [Question], like I got the answer”
Recap: Judging from the brimming tension throughout and the boatload of material dropped, it seems like Chess and Gwitty had a lot on their mind before they battled here on WeGoHard. That makes for a competitive battle with a load of stinging personals, heated wordplay, showmanship, gritty street lines. nice (Gwitty: “Punches lumping up Chess….breast cancer!”) set-uos and of course, rich gun lines that at the very least, kept you entertained. Still, in the deciding 3rd round, what with Gwitty delivering consistent fire with anecdotal verbal theatrics and Chess coming just as uncouth, but scoring with real-talk urban drama, best to call this one even with a rematch being a possible necessity.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Chess – “Dickhead, since when the fuck did the streets have a age limit?…since when did I need an ID to get a gauge lifted?!”
Recap: Not much in the way of stifling punchlines during this Got Beef 3-rounder between Real Deal and Planz. But with the Aussie rapper’s rapid punches lacking aplenty when it came to substance, even a workmanlike performance by RD, dipped with solid racial burners/name flips, righteous personals and witty barbs, is enough to pitch a shutout.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “He knows I’m part German, so he’ll probably do the ‘Heil Hitler!” if I ask him to throw the hands with me!”
