No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: E Ty with an unorthodox delivery and hyper flow, made for some comedic (“He the type to get excited every Columbus Day!”) moments. But it’s the versatile and aggressive schemes of Haixian that end up easily taking this one-rounder.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Haixian – “I got a sub machine and my .38 special like custom jeans!”
Recap: Equipped with audacious name flips, salacious gun bars and witty (“This here, is Anton, that’s it…Mercy found him playing handball!”) barbs, after edging a tight first round, Bedaffi Green goes on to steal all the highlights in this 3-rounder versus A-Ssassin, who after starting off (“I guess it’s safe to say Orange is the New Black, there’s a lot of bitches acting behind bars!”) hot, goes on a downward spiral that ends up with him quitting on his stool.
Verdict: Bedaffi Green (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bedaffi Green – “Y’all gonna see this cat lying, when that deuce ready to throw for A…Matt Ryan, I’ll flat line him, and if I hear talk, it’s Angry Fan at the airport, y’all gonna see Caps flying!”
Recap: A composed and gritty Streetz Messiah has his best round in the (“Do something if you don’t like me bitch, and y’all gonna watch me straight break this nigga, that be your ‘Will he lynch?’, I mean I break nigga’s like Willie Lynch!”) 2nd, but other than that it’s basic gunplay, slip-ups and an unadulterated, (“You old Jay Reid-ass nigga, always shooting without the intent to kill!”) bar-heavy Ryda whose aggressive and consistent litany of fierce punchlines along with potent set-ups throughout his 3 rounds, scores him an easy 3-0.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ryda – “Now you put your trust in the Lord, well for acting B.I.G. bitch, you could lose your faith in the night, now remember? Pac fucked B.I.G. bitch, he lost his Faith in the night
Recap: A slightly more condensed and more (“That flame to GY skull, that’s how I Ghost Rider [Ryda]!”) robust Lil Joe takes the first round, before delivering the dagger with a turned up second that overwhelmed his opponent. Gy ThaRyda, who stayed competitive throughout with some nice (“….he making faces?, so I’m Changing Faces, I’m a different nigger by 1:12 [112]!”) schemes and vigorous punchlines, avoids the 3-0 with heavier heat in the 3rd.
Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Look, another fat bitch about to struggle, aren’t you Precious!”
Recap: A lot of loud chatter in the room for this intense battle between Cali Smoov and Young B (RIP). However, even with all the interruptions and side talk, a good battle was produced nonetheless with the braggadocios, name-flip savvy and oft-gritty punches/wordplay of Smoov spazzing enough to easily beat back an inconsistent turn by Young B, before a debatable 2nd that saw a less potent Smoov hit hard with a flexing (“It’s true, my wardrobe do show a nigger rose to the occasion!”) rebuttal that was arguably his best line on the night, altogether enough to match the aggressive and heated (“Get drugged and put that red dot on his head, that’s what the Hen do [Hindu]!”) punchlines of Young B. 3rd round featured another solid turn by Cali, who also showed off his versatile side with some nice freestyles, hitting personals and fire set-ups. However, Young B, hellbent on dishing personals throughout his turn, while witty at times, overall just couldn’t match his opponent’s lyrical potency or versatility.
Verdict: Cali Smoov (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cali Smoov – “That glock with me, trust, if we beef in my hood, you’ll get a one-on-one with Blood like that scene in The Wood!”
Recap: Mostly a snoozefest between Cortez and Danja Zone as Tez for the most part seemed uninspired and his signature wordplay more often than not fell flat. Still, after a lackluster first round, Danja Zone stepped his game up and scored heavy in both the latter rounds with some nice performance bars and brash schemes to take it at the end.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “You telegraphing your punches, my jab’s fast as a Mach Five, you swing and I’ll weave and land that before you draw your hands back, I’m counterclockwise”
Recap: 3-rounder from Rap Grid sees Cortez use a gang of mocking, but adept punchlines, some witty barbs, nifty wordplay and piercing personals/schemes to beat back a convoluted with the angles, redundant with the mayhem and mostly subpar with the punches Danny Myers.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “I dare him to creep closer, I’m strapped with each holster, I bring a coffin to Dallas ‘cuz I’m sicker than Ebola!”
Recap: While Bigg K may never get points or sportsmanship, as he shows once again here versus Aye Verb, no one can dispute his wicked bar/punchline game. So even while Verb uses the race card to offer some competition and a pretty (“Broads, I only fuck with one kind, I’m a racist!”) potent 1st round, from there it’s all K, dishing a fierce (“You just gonna say that I’m white, that is some racist and wack shit, I’ll smack your mother on the ass and call her a black bitch!”) rebuttal, feelgood bully bars, funny (“I heard you taking MMA classes, that’s some of the faggotest shit I heard in my life, you gonna wait till you 35 and try to learn how to fight!”) personals and a way more consistently dope bar game to easily take out a (“When you young and you riding on niggas, you just learning, you gotta make an older ride with you, it’s like a permit!”) hit-or-miss 2nd round and a wasted 3rd from Verb.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “I’ll leave you and your bitch stretched out, y’all Team Yoga!”
Recap: Not the best Chilla (could be taking too many battles, but props for the Jean Grae mention) what with a little more filler than usual, but against a Yung Ill who basically only showed up for a round (mostly the 2nd with hard lines like: “Pounds and Tek’s, that multiple so three or four? but these two I brought with me? I named them Either Or”) and a half, a plethora of (“Before the dollars came you beat Hitman with bars of flames, but he’s the legend and you? without a call or lane, another Pete Rose because you’ll never see Hall of Fame”) working personals, elite wordplay and feel-good schemes provided more than enough heat for the win.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “So play Hero, from here on I’m a villain I took Ill in vain, but that’s dope because if you take the word villain that’s ‘ill’ in ‘vain'”
Recap: July Streets (He sings too!) brings enough vociferous (“That piece on that side kick like baby bop!”) heat to make for a debatable 2nd round, but other than that, couldn’t keep up with, much less handle Reepah Rell’s righteous (“I just figured I’d teach July, you know this summer school!”) name flips, stinging gun bars and fiery punchlines throughout the 1st and 3rd.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “Ain’t no turning back, when I’m pointing at Streets, I’m like a One Way, nigga!”
Recap: A raucous, hardbody start by Deisel is put to bed by a consistently spicy and punch-heavy turn by Casey Jay in round 1 of this fiery QOTR 3-rounder. However, with Deisel displaying yet another brazen and 4-bar setup-lit 2nd round to beat back her solid, but not quite as hitting opponent, things would even up going into round 3. The highly contested battle would take a turn in the final round tho as a couple of slip-ups by Deisel would help a still aggressive, versatile, gun bar savvy and squarely-punching Casey to coast to a win.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “I got Tek’s [texts] for y’all whole clique…group messages!”
Recap: Even a punch-heavy, fire 3rd round by (“My bars the best, if anybody think they could double these [D’s], they must be talking Marvin’s breast!”) Lotta Zay can’t save him from getting 30’d, as a spitfire throughout, witty, condensed, personal/gun line (“Nigga, this choppa got a kick like it’s electric sliding!”) slinging and punchline-heavy Marvwon makes more than enough to take each round and Detroit proud.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Nigga, I will fry you, my metal talk like Futurama!”
Recap: In this 3-rounder from AHAT, another gritty, performance-heavy and gun-centric showing by Ah Di Boom gets upended by a punchline and wordplay spazzing Emerson Kennedy. A confident EK, who also came with his own gang of performance-enriched bars, especially shines with more intricate set-ups and fiercer name flips/gun lines, leading to a plethora of haymakers that allowed him to edge each round.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “And I heard you got bad fists, get knocked out don’t do jack shit, you’ve been dropped around the corner, more than being ashamed of your dad’s whip!”
Recap: On a Grind Time stage, definitely. On a King of the Dot stage, perhaps. But on a URL stage two-minute rounds should never be agreed to again, especially considering the exposure granted on the “world’s biggest arena”, level of the platform given and the costs heads gotsa pay to see their favorite battle rappers perform on Smack’s main events. And hopefully, this matchup between Harlem’s Head Ice and K-Shine (who deserves props for having the gumption to apologize for his shortened round) will be the last we see of two-minute rounds on Smack. As for the battle, while Shine came more prepared then we’ve seen in a minute, consistent in his flow and diverse in his (“If you so much as jump or move your leg it’ll be an ASL challenge Ice, bucket on his head nigga”) raps, it wasn’t enough to beat Head Ice’s assortment of street lines, aggressive stage performance, witty bars and that slick (“How you rap ’bout guns but ain’t got no closet for that?, You mean to tell me if I thought you was rich and wanted to murder ya I ain’t got the option of running into ya crib and flip furniture?”) talk so-called “real” heads love so much, especially in rounds one and three to edge Shine and take the win here.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Head Ice – [BANG!] One in the head shot, real killers ain’t gotta give ’em a dead kick, we could tell by how they leg twitch”
Recap: T Top’s shrewd name flip’s, lofty mayhem and graphic street yarns/punchlines combine to beat back a hardbody and solid, but repetitive punching Ah di Boom in this griity 1-rounder from Angry Fan Radio.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “I know Jersey hoods, they say you don’t play with them slugs, they ain’t hear Boom bang bang since he was playing the drums!”
Recap: Two prolific battle emcees who almost always give it their all, it’s to be expected that JC and Danny Myers would put on a dope, bar-heavy and competitive showing. Myers goes 1-up with a load of rapid, versatile punchlines that were well-spiced with braggadocio rhythms and some fire (“You fucking with a 5th banger, I’ll take him to the top of the mountain and well…the rest is a cliffhanger!”) set-ups, before JC even things out grandiose heaters that along with some witty (“All my bars make you do shit you can’t do, like bring them lines back!”) barbs/personals, beat back a solid, but not-as-fire-as-his-first-round turn by Danny. The 3rd and deciding round was just a matter of who could more fortitude and with both battlers going in with an equal amount of sterling punches, fierce (Myers: “Point bank in your living room nigga, I’ll spray a slug, your forehead be all in ya carper like a prayer’s rug!”) gun bars, graphic schemes, potent wordplay and some seismic haymakers, it was only fitting that the end result be a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: JC – “Now I know, you love doing that gun talk until somebody stretch him with the shit, bunch of Young Thug’s, all about the money till you address [a dress] ’em like a bitch!”
Recap: Shocking slip-ups by Prep along with a wicked array of slick performance bars and schemes by Chess gives the confident young’un a quality win in this first round UFF matchup.
Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chess – “My niggas speak lead, they thought of a pistol,your niggas speak lead they thought of a pencil, you going up? Good! Well your jaw [points up] going with you [and] I keep bringing it up like I’m forcing the issue!”
Recap: No shit. Up until he literally took a dump on stage midway through his 3rd round before being escorted off stage by security, I thought Daylyt’s latest gimmick–fully dressed in an all-black outfit with a cloak over his head and then revealing a fake decapitated head (which was hilarious)– was none too extreme for a guy already well-known for his antics. But either the booing crowd really got to ‘Lyt (deservedly so considering how most of his bars were pretty subpar) or the entire shit-show was pre-planned (which is even worse when it comes to the fans and the company that’s paying you, in this case KOTD). Still, Daylyt would later blame the whole mess on ‘racism’, he’d continue to battle on KOTD and oh yeah, his opponent (and ironically, fellow Dot Mobb member) Real Deal would gain what was probably the easiest 30 of his battle career.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Yo, another muthafuckin’ gimmick, he must have known he’d be the loser, your stupid ass came out dressed like the ghost of Christmas future!”
Recap: With a fly rap name like Tommy Fishscale, one can’t be faulted for thinking he’d come better here than a couple of slip-ups and a boatload of very basic raps. Thus, making it much easier for a punch-heavy, wordplay-lit and heavily armed Chef Trez to easily win this 1-rounder from AngryFan Radio.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “The ratchet mounted and stay clapping like club ho’s, I’ll grab a second gun and let a couple arms come together like a love pose!”
Recap: With a methodical and brazen flow that was matched by a gang of steely punchlines and salty personals, Unique Barrz managed to keep herself in contention during this 1-rounder from AHAT. But against a Danny Myers drenched in scathing personals to go along with a host of spicy punches, witty storytelling and fiery 4-bar set-ups, even a pretty solid showing by Barrz couldn’t beat her opponent’s blistering, misogynistic palette.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “These bars are a formula that you can’t get on your WIC card!”
Recap: A Dual in the Desert main event featuring the veteran Arsonal da Rebel vs. noted up-n-comer Rum Nitty lives up the hype with a highly competitive barfest filled with exquisite punchlines, wordplay and gritty bars. Both Nitty and Arsonal came strong in the 1st with da Rebel giving what the crowd wants: disrespectful lines, in-ya-face steez and wicked (“And most your chokes they like strangles, this a dual in the desert, it’s 90 degrees out this bitch and you still ain’t gone come at me with the right angles”) punches. Still, Nitty returns the heat with extra fire on top: fierce (“So go ahead, get in my face, that don’t intimidate, I’ll hit a Grape in his melon with this banana clip, i.e. lemonade”) punchlines, hometown bars, name flips and dope personals. 2nd round featured more consistently (“My Tommy will bust before it get to see Pam’s titties”; “Like bitches getting tattoos on boobies, I’m tit for tat”) nice jokes and punches from Arsonal, but also a couple of reaches and an interchangeable scheme (i.e. The Simpsons) we’ve heard many times elsewhere. On the other hand, Nitty spit a savvy round complete with fresh performance bars, rigid wordplay, street talk and (“Boy I got a gun so big…I can’t aim right, security caught me dragging that bitch off the elevator…like Ray Rice”) haymakers. Arsonal’s 3rd round may’ve been his hardest and most consistent what with hard-hitting (“They said you cripping, is it true Nitty? Well your baby mother said you ain’t never read [red] your daughter a story, but you ready to die over that blue Nitty?”) personals, more in-your-face aggression and heavy bars. And while Rum continued to spit that heat with easy swag, passion and ready-to-rumble (“Pause, Who want it? Line up, you’ll wind up red, that’s Merlo, I ain’t switching up breaks but he a prison inmate, you could’ve got this work for low [furlough]”) bars, his last round didn’t quite match up with Arsonal’s consistency. Still nonetheless, I got Rum edging the first couple of rounds to take this one in the end.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “I’m out here trying to fuck while you fingering bitches until your hand numb”
Recap: Word to the wise: judging from all that creaking going on during this battle, next time so many bug dudes are all up on the same stage, you might wanna perform on a stronger platform. Moving on, nice one-rounder between Ah Di Boom and the underrated Cakes here as both came with some dope (Ah Di: “I’ll have my white boy [points gun at Cakes head] shooting at ya roof…to Higher Learning!”) bars, (Cakes: “In fact you was eating, I caught him doing his favorite thing in the fridge…reaching”) jokes, cool name flips and hitting wordplay. And although host Charlie Clips arguably had the best line of the night (“Real fat nigga shit, we feed each other!”), the feeling here is that Cakes edged this one if only for being more consistently nice with his raps, which stood out admirably when compared to Boom’s filler along with the fact that the first half of his round was much harder than the second.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cakes – “Listen, I’m pimping, on the comeback, that means I’m bringing the mac round, Throwback Thursday you’ll get the black cartridge, that’s No Mercy before the Smackdown”
Recap: Adding lofty multi’s and sporadic doses of wit to an already hefty bar game, MyVerse would need it all here in this Queen of the Ring match against the flexing gun bars and boastful shiners of Cee The Boss. Indeed, a competitive, raucous, wordplay-lit, name flip-savvy and lyrical crowd-pleasing battle throughout, it’d be a spitfire 3rd (which included a dope freestyle to start things off) from MyVerse, that showcased all of her versatility, that’d prove to be the difference in the end.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 2-1
Favorite line: MyVerse – “Leave you with no feeling like you need acrylic!”
Recap: Battle of the Two Most Hated Battle Rappers (with good reasons) goes down as expected with lots of lame lines, boo’s and plenty of WTF’s (Verb: “I am a rooster”). But somebody had to win and in this case it’s John John da Don who survives Aye Verb 80’s swagger-jacking (“What you know about being in a cell ith a nigga facing a murder, got you scared to go to sleep cuz’ our crimes don’t match?”) the first round to edge the 2nd with better (“Just cuz’ your mother got a metal dick, that don’t mean you here cocking steel”) bars, personals, PG schemes and more spirited punches, while easily taking round 3 with winning anecdotes on Verb’s recent battles, nicer angles and a harder perforamnce versus Verb basically taking the round off and stopping short early.
Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John da Don – “You got them white boys really thinking they could own us, for letting them take your shine on stage, here go some slow bucks [Slowbucks]”
Recap: Good thing a consistently (“You asked for this shit, now you killed by your dad, a sleepy nigga tried to cross the road and got killed by a jag!”) nice with his Chef Trez got to go first in this one-rounder from Spit Dat Heat, as Sleepy Haze’s lackluster bars would’ve literally had everyone in a slumber by the time it was Trez’s turn. That said, props to Milton Bloe tho for making Haze feel like he even belonged on the same stage with his clearly superior opponent.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Now I ain’t saying you light, but as far as you being nice, I’m ain’t convinced at all, I’ll split his jaw, stand up and lean Sleepy like I’m drifting off!”
Recap: A pretty beatable Charlie Clips, free-styling half the time with mostly B-grade punchlines/name flips along the way, still lands enough haymakers here and there to beat back a drawn-out-with-the-schemes and outside of a salacious, breakdown-heavy 2nd round, mostly pedestrian Illmaculate in this underwhelming 3-rounder from KOTD.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I don’t talk about pulling guns out on Twitter because these ain’t the shots to follow, I’m on Eastern time, I kill him tonight that mean he died tomorrow!”
Recap: Traphouse up-n-comers Teewhy and ZigZag duke it out for 3 salacious rounds with Teewhy more whimsical (“He food, he brake fast [breakfast] then a [dinner] nigga was ate!”; “I’ll never lose to no faggot, and we all know zigzags ain’t straight!”) bars and less filler edging the 1st round (despite some dope [“You’ll get the shotgun, but this here Bud, when I squeeze, it’ll pop seeds like I’m feeding the lawn!”] performance bars from his opponent) and a more charged-up and (“You don’t pay attention, so I ain’t register nothing!”) pronounced ZigZag taking the 2nd. Solid round by both battlers in the 3rd, but Teewhy gets a dub with continuously aggressive wordplay upstaged with a better consistency.
Verdict: Teewhy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Teewhy -“I’ll pop chins like a Chinese father, nigga…apparently!”
Recap: Funny how dudes still got Born stuck in that “choke artist” era, esp. considering all you have to do is pick any battle of his within the last year or two to see how much his flow and bargame has greatly improved. Indeed, the name change isn’t the only evidence of Born’s progression and yes there was a time where you wouldn’t be hard-pressed to guess this matchup would be a layup for a vet like Brixx Belvedere. But unfortunately for Brixx the 2014 version of Born is officially a problem and despite a really good showing (the name flips: “Have Nuborn [newborn] in a suit, that’s The Carter 3” were at times lethal and bars like “It’s like texting and driving, cuz’ nigga we dying to get a half a message” were straight fire, but there was too much filler at times esp. in round 1) from the S.O.N.S. troupe here, Born’s versatility, crazy (“I battled Con before, now I gotta battle Con heir too [two] sounds more like a shitty sequel”) wordplay, rebut game, (“I’ll leave this loser hurting, the .40 scope a young nigga out like a cougar lurking”) punchlines, hard-hitting (“Head shot, leave a numb skull like a stupid person”) bars and personals were just too much to overcome here. Give Born rounds 1 and 3 here (tho that ill ‘Daisy’ rebuttal in round 2 was almost enough to make this a 3-0) easy and let’s officially put future Nuborn opponents on notice if they continue to underestimate him.
Verdict: Nuborn (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brixx Belvedere – “Ain’t no vouchers for Nuborn? Well then get WIC nigga!”
Recap: Dishing confidently and collectively with fiery gun bars, fire punchlines, cold name flips and some able wit, a more condensed and versatile Nov edges rounds 1 and 3 to take this one over a solid, but less potent and consistent Diesel.
Verdict: Nov (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nov – “You dumb, you supposed to get smoked, stop acting sour Diesel!”
Recap: Displaying the skills and confidence of a schooled vet, Swave Sevah drops a stream of brash (“Burn through your whole faculty, he won’t save y’all crew, i’ll slam Streets on the streets, give him de ja vu”) punchlines, bully bars, gripping schemes along with able name flips to take out an earnest (“Bitch nigga, Harlem full of snitch niggas, ya mam had three boys and you the bitch sister!”), but unprepared opponent in Streets and win this one-rounder.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “You? Choose your words wisely, this Sevah you facing, [or] I’ll leave marks on Money like a federal agent!”
Recap: T-Rex AND UDubb can do better than this. I mean, the idea that a legendary battle rapper doesn’t spit a full round and is literally arguing onstage during a match with a league owner because he supposedly doesn’t know how many rounds he was supposed to spit or his opponent gets cut short during his round because of a supposed time limit (which he clearly didn’t break even if it was two minutes) just speaks to sloppy business practices. But then after the debacle that was his URL match versus Cortez, it’s Rex that will get most of the blame for this mess and rightfully so. Then too, since I’m of the opinion that spitting a mixtape verse is way better than choking, Rex could’ve been a professional, said ‘whatever’ and just spit another one for the sake of the fans and worked out whatever issues he had with Arsonal/UDubb later on behind the scenes. But he chose not to do so and while he still remains a legend, it’s still a knock to his mantle and another bad look for 2014. Either way, Shotgun Suge did nothing wrong here, kept spitting despite all the nonsense going on around him and earned the win with better overall bars regardless.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’ll kill you and your son, any day, head shot, ‘cuz he a future snitch, anyway”
Recap: While Kid Chaos (who has some of the best reactions to opponent’s bars that you’ll see in the game) may indeed need to work on his temper (including here, we’ve seen him go there in a couple of battles now) during battles, being equipped with a unique pen game that stresses performance, rigid schemes and some nuanced wordplay makes for easy win (Chaos also had a gang of mocking personals and hitting name flips) here versus a witty at times, but otherwise pretty mediocre Young FM in this 3-rounder from Barbarian Battle League.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “Number 2, he wear pants that he gotta sag to fit after a chick told him he got mothering hips!”
Recap: Has Harlem vs. Harlem on the battle rap stage ever been a let-down? Making up for opponent and fellow Harlem-nite T-Rex’s mayhem-lit, but shortened opening rounds with a brutal annihilation that contained 3 rounds of flawless execution (we’ll call both the regimented, punch-lit and consistently piercing 4-bar set-ups of round 1 and the highly personal, spicy rebuttal-driven, haymaker-drunk and over-the-top performance-wise 3rd round both classics), Charlie Clips delivers a hardbody 30 while spouting one of the most epic showings in battle rap history (hell, Cassidy’s reactions alone could tell you how this one went) and taking out Rex and his entire Dot Mobb crew at URL’s Summer Madness 4.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Jesus! One of my lines could make an Atheist say ‘Christ!’, if you wanna get Rex to chill all you gotta do is say I.C.E., we’ll discuss that a little later, but with these tho, I’m way nice, give him a choice in the elevator, you want the Solange or the Ray Rice?!”
Recap: Plenty of hardbody punches from both Mike P and (“This ain’t the Surreal [cereal] Life, but I’m putting Mikey in a box!”) Merrick City in this close one-rounder from ENJ Battle League. Still, with slightly more haymakers, a more potent mix to his (“Your AK long? well I got Trey [.3] Songz, I’m a nice singer!”) bars and some dry spots by Merrick, it’s Mike who edges it in the end.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mike P – “Jaw broke, you talk through the wire, your phone tapped, you get your back and a stiff arm at the same time, I’m Bo Jack!”
Recap: A lazy 3rd round by Aye Verb allows Danny Myers to get a draw in this 3-rounder from KOTD. Indeed Myers, for all the energy and at times spitfire (“I’m appalled at the thought that this bitch would play me, ironic your name is Chaz ‘cuz you gonna hear that [Shhh] (Ch) in AZ!”) bars he could sap up from a raucous crowd that was really into the match, could never hit with any consistency on his punches to get ahead in this one. Yet Verb, after a dope, witty with the personals and hard-hitting 1st round and a pretty nice start to his 2nd (just ask Daylyt), just made for a lackluster effort during the rest of his turns, getting edged in the middle round and forcing a draw in the deciding final one with a shortened run.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “Ride up, reverse it, shirts get rang out; that’s a purchase, do a nigga greasy for that chicken…that’s Churches!”
Recap: Filthy (“I heard ya mama gave the best head…back in the day!”) jokes, rich storytelling/performing bars and wild punchlines versus a unpoised battle rapper who had little to offer besides some righteous filler and ok jokes? As Young X aptly summed up: ‘This battle was a breeze!’
Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young X – “You like a unknown porn star, who da fuck are you?!”
Recap: From TrapHouse NY, aggressive, mayhem-lit and gritty punch-fest between J Murda (“That’s word to Sara Lee, you’re a corn muffin, Mase can get the ox to his side like Paul Bunyan!”) and True Maserati comes with an at times heated barrage of sizzling street missives, righteous showmanship, fierce name flips and hard-hitting personals (esp. in round 3). A fealty too for witty bars on each other’s crew and Spanish-laced hijinks, after the two split the opening rounds, it’s only right that a blistering 3rd by both battlers makes this one a draw.
Verdict: Debatable
Favorite line: True Maserati – “I got the grip, but I’m Spanish, I rather put the knife to his spine, then hang him from the top of the track…now ya life on the line!”
Recap: With ‘weed money’ on the line in this judged battle, both Teewhy and (“After my last battle some bitch texted me, she said ‘ you did your thing, who ya got next’, I said ‘Teewhy [TY]’, she said ‘ya welcome'”) Aslan came with some pretty nice bars. However, split going into the last round, while each battler delivered a solid turn, it’s Teewhy who despite being a little lethargic at times, comes out on top and edges it with a little less filler along with a better flow in the 3rd.
Verdict: Teewhy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Teewhy – “Y’all got me battling a nigga who use a Yugioh card to promote battling?!, well since this nerdy nigga like Yugioh, I figured I’ll use it to dismantle him!”
Recap: Nice UFF battle between Xcel and Anubis as both came hungry and represented with plenty of bars, schemes and wordplay. Gotta agree with the judges here tho as Anubis’ dope punchlines and hard bars were too much for Xcel’s somewhat light (took too long to get to his punches) and filler-drenched round 1. Xcel came harder in round 2 with a more consistent flow, gritty (“You could be in the Caribbean van and wouldn’t bang steel”) bars and crazy wordplay, while Anubis fell a little flat with too many average bars. With round 3 deciding the winner, Anubis would take it with dope performance bars, cold personals, a hard rebuttal and fierce (“I had you bringing people to pay me, this a pyramid scheme”) punchlines against a good round from Xcel that had plenty of aggression and punches, but not enough potent bars to match his opponent’s heat.
Verdict: Anubis (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Anubis – “I don’t lose position, I write shit that make God himself lose religion”
Recap: Take away the annoying and way-too-involved host and you have an epic and hilarious “Compliment” battle brought to you from KOTD between Pat Stay and Rone. A welcome respite from the usual insults we see battle rappers hurl at each other, this 3-rounder was entertaining as hell with Rone and Pat doing their best to out-praise their opponent, using witty storytelling/schemes, silly anecdotes, whimsical gay innuendos, amusing personals and some deft, but still hysterical wordplay to do so. However, after an equal amount of humorous barbs in the opening rounds made for two debatable turns, it’s a more consistently comical and performance-heavy (presents included!) Rone who outlasts his opponent in the deciding 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Rone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rone – “I felt trauma cause I was ostracized for all of my life by the popular guys, but your positive vibe, your positive vibe, whoopsies…I just forgot all my lines for a second right there cause I was lost in your eyes!”
Recap: Early Jey The Nitewing and the Loaded Lux influence on his stage presence and delivery are pretty evident. Still, in this 3-rounder from AHAT, it’s a lay-up regardless as Jey’s witty barbs, piercing punchlines and hitting personals/wordplay easily beats back an opponent in Tactic$, who clearly can rhyme, but with such a soft pen, might be better off taking his notebook to the studio.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Tactic$, the irony of that name, online playing Call of Duty is probably the only you take that name to prime, but this ain’t ya mommy’s house Tactic$!”
Recap: Up against the hardbody, often cold and bullish raps of Dan Barz in this 3-rounder from Udubb, Jai 400 Block is still able to deliver a wide stream of solid name flips and piercing punchlines to take round 1, before Barz spouts a scheming, boastful and surprisingly (“…you love her, I’m trying to duck her, say that you trash in the bed, she say I’m cuter, ‘cuz you [puts hand over Jai’s head] look like Dame Dash in the head!”) witty 2nd round to even things up going into the 3rd. With the final round deciding the winner, both battlers were able to cue up an assortment of steely personals and widespread mayhem during their turns. But with a minor slip-up from Jai to go along with Dan wasting some bars on Shotgun Suge, an equal amount of haymakers and bar efficiency in round 3 makes this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – ” I already arm-stronged Lance nigga, so you know it’s gonna be easy for me to handle Barz!”
Recap: Sorry Charron, tho you definitely got the win, this was not a 3-0 as Shotgun Suge had a pretty (“But fuck that, I step in his house like ‘Where the killers?’ [looks around] nah, I hit white boy family with the pounds like We’re the Millers”) mean, (“He want to rap. I need too”) real and (“What your life like nigga?, size 12 with a 13 cuz’ the snub don’t fit in the Tims”) gritty 3rd round. Still, despite the resident pocket-check and a nice 1st round by Suge, using plenty of self-deprecating jokes/anecdotes, easy rebuttals, hot (“I would be amazed if he put up a good fight, Chris Brown’s VMA’s, I’m fucking up Suge night [Knight}]”) bars, ill personals and dope (“You haven’t been seen since you choked on Bill…Monica Lewinsky!”) one-liners, Charron uses his first URL appearance to take another off his Jersey hitlist.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “You wanna bully a cracker, oh you thought were cool?, this is Columbine, a white boy’s taking a shotgun to school!”
Recap: It’s battles this like where just when you think he’s falling off Cortez reminds you of why he belongs in the top tier. Consistent with the aggression, spitting humbling (“Honestly you like the can, you’d suck a mean cock for a loosie and a Sprite but damn, he play for the D, ain’t that a coincidence he likes to Ram?, that’s why faggots get cut quicker than Michael Sam”) jokes, punchlines, gritty gun bars and confident with his (“I’m quick to get it shaking outside the ring, Freddie Roach”) metaphors and heavy wordplay, Cortez takes out Young Kannon, who brought plenty of (“Hell you beat Tek and Ill on Smack, but then the Vault 3-0’d you!”) heat, nicely rebutted Tez’s lines about that spelling error (“I left the ‘L’ off the shirt so I could give to you”) in his blog and spit some dope schemes with his usual moxie, but overall overplayed some angles/themes and failed to match his opponent’s efficiency and sharp assortment of bars.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “You, you just need to grind, your career?, it stays here, there’s no peak [just] decline, what the fuck I gotta spell it out?, oh he don’t see the signs?, well, it’s obvious, even Floyd could read between the lines”
Recap: Hard to believe that with $10,000 on the line any battle rapper would go so light as D.O.T. did in his 3rd here against the forever-on-Beastmode Brizz Rawsteen. Could’ve cost him as indeed this was a pretty close battle through two rounds, but Brizz ran away with this UFF matchup in the 3rd with better wordplay, (“You crazy bro?, You smoke crack, dont’cha? well try this Lean On Me, [but] I ain’t Crazy Joe”) personals and crazy performance bars.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “You still think eating pussy gonna give you facial hair”
Recap: Besides Chess managing to edge the second round with some fiery punchlines and sizzling (“Nigga, we ain’t really friends like that, he said Chess ‘we ain’t cool no mo…nigga, it been like that!”; “Have him leaning over the shot like he ain’t bent like that!”) haymakers, this one is pretty much all about a consistently nice Saint Mic who uses gut-drenching wordplay, pointed schemes and potent (“The only thing on the front page of the paper view’s is you trying to save your shoes while getting your ankle bruised…what’s that? Breaking News!”) punches of his own to take the 1st and 3rd, the win and I’m sure a ‘good job’ from the legendary Kid Capri.
Verdict: Saint Mic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Saint Mic – “I’m gonna put Chess to sleep at a record speed, and whoever roll with ‘bru, can get folded up, Cakes down, chest to knees, better 3rd arm, nigga my shirt don’t come with no extra sleeve!”
Recap: Possible that Real Deal underestimated his opponent Referee (aka Bigg K lite) here as even his best (“Judging by your size advantage…they gonna need a giant bandage”) bars didn’t match Ref’s more consistent (“See, I could do comedy too, on some Dumb and Dumber shit, but I rather drag you Step by Step on some Suzanne Somers hit””) quips, personals and (“He get shook when it’s time for some scuffles, Real Deal never swings like monogamous couples”) one-liners, all spat with ample ease to take the win.
Verdict: Referee (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Referee – “You’re a 30-year-old school teacher still paying off school debt, midlife, asking his wife is it in yet”
Recap: Arsonal’s reputation for subpar performances on his home stage continues as Daylyt inserts a blue pill and goes back to basics here, reeling off bouyant (“Niggas feel like the gimmicks only get tired?, liar, I’m Tony the Tiger to the world I will forever be a great cat”) zingers, stifling personals, an ill performance and wild (“I’m a monster, Sasquatch, we swing arms with the open hand, you’ll get slap-boxed”) punchlines with steady ease. Against Arsonal’s mostly lackadaisical rhymes (granted the “I’m like a blind man reading, I done put hands on a lot of Dot’s” line was fire), recycled bars and all-too-familiar filler, it’s an easy win on the road for the kid from Watts.
Verdict: Daylyt (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Daylyt – “Box for what nigga? Who’ll get a box, choose your casket, I’ll remove a bastard, you will Sho’nuff take bullets to the mouth, Who’s the Master?”
Recap: From URL’s Summer Madness 4 card, with what included a fight between the two in the days leading up to the battle, Hitman Holla versus Tsu Surf had to be the most anticipated battle of 2014. And while the battle featured two classic rounds (Hitman’s electrifying 1st round that featured one of his best Showout-assisted remix’s to go along with the 1st non-verbal rebuttal, which he claimed by simply taking his hoodie off in response to a bar Surf said in his opener and Surf’s highly personal and superbly executed punchfest in the 3rd) as well as enough moments (good and bad) to ensure that it’ll be more than just a footnote in SM battle rap history, outside of the opening round (which while a bit short, was still pretty hitting), thanks in part to a bunch of pedestrian bars and some questionable moments by Holla (the lame attempt at a 2nd remix in round 2, the subpar Michael Jackson bars and one too many shots at Shotgun Suge), Surf’s consistent ability to hit with some standout wordplay, witty barbs, fire set-ups (including another dope use of his signature ‘Lock pick the door, Errrrhhh!’ screed) and hard-hitting personals/punchlines was just too much here. The Jersey native taking both of the latter rounds handily (tho Holla did spout some lyrical bangers here and there) to come back and win the battle.
Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “Your mother was at the game, cardboard colors, fresh signs, my mother was in pain ‘You wanna speak to the inmate, press 9!'”
Recap: Figuratively speaking, Chef Trez versus Fliiko L is almost like a mirror match, what with both battlers love for salacious (Trez: “I’m talking about when I cock it, it look like I’m pulling on a stuck drawer!”) gun bars, steely aggression with ethir punches, (Fliiko L: “Nigger, you a rookie, I’m a vet, remind me of a little ass girl…ain’t get a body yet!”) boastful shiners/personals, similar builds and dark complexions. The outcome of this competitive 3-rounder, however, wouldn’t be a debatable as Trez’s more intricate bars, well crafted angles/schemes, richer performance and consistency with the heat would get him the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Look bitch, I ain’t trying to wrestle, but you better clutch your toast, but with a beam, I’ll put a bright dot on black…that’s Dusty Rhodes!”
Recap: With $3k on the line, this should’ve been an easy decision as Barz Major’s attempts at free-styling and witty barbs essentially go nowhere, leaving the way for a more disciplined, bar/scheme-heavy and consistently gritty Skates to leave with a 30.
Verdict: Skates (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Skates – “Them guns in sync [N’Sync], I Swear, you’ll get ’em, All For One!”
Recap: Can’t lie, it’s funny how even in the face of YaBoyClip’s fiery punchlines/personals, his own slip-ups, loud banter from the crowd and having to freestyle for most of this match, throughout this battle Nico da Don’s facial expression never changes. Yet, as unintentionally funny Nico is at times, YBC, who while potent with the punches here and there, never quite matched his A-game, but still does enough to score a 30, thanks in part to the mostly subpar bars from his opponent.
Verdict: YaBoyClip
Favorite line: YaBoyClip – “I just showed nigga’s I’m more than rap, LeBron James, I put in that show with the Heat to get back where I started at!”
Recap: Pretty dope battle between GE and Brizz Rawsteen, but yet another reason to hate one-rounders as these two competitive juices more than flowed, thus enhancing the chances it would’ve stayed entertaining throughout. That said, the edge here goes to GE. Brizz defeinitely had his (“In Milwaukee you’ll catch crazy shot in your projects from a Coo Coo Cal!”) moments and came with his usual aggression, but some bars fell a little flat and there were a couple of minor slip-ups. While GE’s wordplay/punchlines was at times sick, he also executed (“Now who gonna stop me?, no you, you ain’y all that seasoned, Set It Off tho and you’ll die like Stoney brother for doing all that reaching!”) nicely, spit some potent performance (“These pair will echo, cannon on the right, cannon on the right, like Rafael De La Ghetto!”) bars and stayed way more consistent in his round to get the dub.
Verdict: GE (W) 1-0
Favorite line: GE – “Two arms up, 12 o clock, you know the time, your nigga watch, point one at him, now it’s 12:05”
Recap: “Now you battling no-names cuz you need more bread?” was easily the best and realest bar that Spoke In Wordz spit in this rout of a match against Cortez. In other words, think about the difference between the NBA and the D-League to get an idea of the difference in talent here: (Cortez: “Words will get exposed, hidden texts”; Spoke In Wordz: “I’m Magic, pulling B-Magic out the hat, presto!”). Yeah, there’s different levels to this shit indeed.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “Dyslexic, I’m right with the words, but words can’t write”
Recap: 3-round freestyle battle from KOTD sees Charron toy with opponent Big Ben, using the crowd, an onlooking DNA, rigid name flips and a slew of nifty punchlines to easily beat back Ben, who after a so-so start in the opening rounds, ended up choking away his 3rd.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “Since your name’s Big Ben, it’s only right you get clocked!”
Recap: From Barbarian Battle League, Kid Chaos’ piercing punches/name flips, rigid wordplay/schemes and witty personals are enough to take the opening rounds and beat back a quality slick-talking, but topsy-turvy effort from Hazeman in this 3-rounder.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “I’ll hit Haze and then pass him around, that’s puff, puff pass!”
Recap: Relying on a boatload of visceral heaters, frenzied name flips and nimble punchlines/schemes that hit with plenty of force, Jakkboy Maine earns a 30 over the gritty, but too often pedestrian bars of Jerz.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “I sell spleens, once I get to fisting and clapping, shells kiss him from a mile away, distance attraction, it hit you and your man’s, y’all brains in each other’s hands, so when Forensic’s came, they just got mixing and matching!”
Recap: While Verbal Kent managed to salvage the final round with hotter bars overall (ixnay on the attempted rebuttal as “This nigga dead!” is T-Rex’s shit, not K-Shine’s), before Kent’s comeuppance, this one was all Lil Joe, who with a load of fiery punchlines and lofty schemes easily took the first two rounds to lock up this win early.
Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lil Joe – “I’ll put dots on all you square’s, watch you fall, that’s the domino effect, my boy asked ‘Why is he so fat?’, I said boy that’s the Domino’s effect!”
Recap: Lots of gun bar residue, vigorous punchlines/schemes and fiery personals from C3-soundalike T White, but it’s mostly the fire name flips that gets her over in this CPBL 3-rounder versus a solid, gritty and aggressive, but gamely inconsistent with the heat First Ladi Flamez.
Verdict: T White (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T White – “My heart, the same size as a tank, with the same motor, I’ll grab this bitch by her throat and toss her…I’m a flamethrower!”
