No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: Solid, but elongated effort from Grind Time vet ZM features some nice punches and sermonizing here and there. But a more condensed, fiery and versatile Big Kannon uses a gang of fierce braggadocio raps, some sizzling wordplay/personals and righteous punches/schemes to take this 1-rounder.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “I don’t get you, this doesn’t fit you, but the issue is that it won’t help, be Johnny Cage, kick something that shows a shadow of your old self!”
Recap: The gruff, raspy stylings of Infared Tha General make for a boatload of fierce punchlines, gritty mayhem and salacious personals…for a little over half a round anyway, till faltering a bit and getting pedestrian towards the end. For a patiently waiting Glueazy, his opponent’s see-saw turn leaves more than enough room for a barrage of consistently spitfire punches, some stinging wordplay and witty personals to leave with a win.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Glueazy – “They say he ain’t dead, Mr. Potato Head, I’ll twist the nose!”
Recap: URL’s “Summer Madness 7” gives you a long-awaited match between early YouTube street battlers T-Rex and Reed Dollaz. And if you thought that Rex might be motivated enough to give you 3 crisp rounds of righteous, aggressive heat against a longtime rival, after the 1st round you’d be very disappointed, while his Philly opponent impressed throughout the battle. Indeed, stunting as he usually does with a heavy load of fiery gun bars and a boastful performance, the Dot Mobb general would command the stage in the 1st round and make for a debatable turn against an equally solid Reed. But then Rex just went off-kilter, maintaining his aggression, but at the same time succumbing to a very basic pen that could never catch up to his bravado. All the while a clearly more prepared Reed just kept upping his verbal ante with a boatload of steely punchlines, salacious gun lines and gritty, braggadocio bars/personals that had a frustrated Rex not only talking through his raps, but literally sitting out half of Reed’s fire 3rd round after he had gotten equally beaten bad in the 2nd.
Verdict: Reed Dollaz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reed Dollaz -“They gonna have me on TMZ for killing a star, don’t get shot for thinking it’s still in the car!”
Recap: A spitfire, witty, personal-heavy and punchline-spazzing 3rd round by Kid Chaos comes too late as helped by a surprising choke from his opponent in the 2nd, J Morr’s flexing street tutorials, braggadocios darts, gripping gun bars and piercing personals/punchlines allows him to take the earlier rounds and earn the win.
Verdict: JMorr (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JMorr – “Nigga, I used to play Hide-n-Go Get with the bitches and then grab the BB gun and make nigga’s run and hide!”
Recap: When it comes to his bars, Iowa battle rapper Prophelinni might want to go more the witty route in the future as he seemed to be at his best here when he was unintentionally trying to be funny, as opposed to dishing mostly pedestrian bars on residual mayhem. Speaking of which, for Dre Dennis, the usual assortment of stinging gun bars and searing punchlines work for their consistent robustness, tho Dre also wins here thanks, in part, to a fire freestyle towards the end of his round.
Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “You got the mad face, you a-ight nigger?, lighten up, you should learn how laugh, Kawhi Leonard!”
Recap: Surviving an early slip-up the gritty stylings of King H get better as the battle proceeds, but too many salacious gun bars and potent punchlines/name flips from a more condensed Holmzie Da God gets the Loud Bioy the win here in this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden.
Verdict: Holmzie Da God (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Holmzie Da God – “I’m on his block, with a banana clip, looking for H&M, the coolest monkey in the jungle!”
Recap: In this 3-rounder from IBattle, credit Jack Casserole for a bunch of nifty punchlines and the ability to stay away from the normal set of name flips you witness versus Drugz. It kept things competitive at least. Still, however, crafty with the punches, nice with the name flips/set-ups/gun bars and biting with the smack talk, it’s a more potent Drugz who does more to get each round in this one.
Verdict: Drugz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Drugz – “I wanna put hands on ya, just because I’m fed up with you nigger’s like cannibals!”
Recap: Better here when dishing hardbody personals and witty barbs (ironically, so was his opponent) instead of punches that were hit-n-miss, Jersey up-n-comer Real Sikh uses a near flawless 2nd round to even things up before delivering more haymakers in the deciding 3rd to score a mild upset over a solid, but too-gun-bar-reliant Dre Dennis in this 3-rounder from EBC.
Verdict: Real Sikh (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Sikh – “Boy I’ll snuff your soul out…then square up with your spirit!”
Recap: Not exactly a Chilla Jones that was on his A-game, but in this 3-rounder from CRB, Jones uses some rigid punchlines, hefty gun bars, piercing name flips, some dry wit and a handful of boastful shiners to score a 30 anyway versus a solid, but not consistently potent Made Wade.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “So tell Ottawa son [Sun], I ain’t with the corny ho shit, everyone I whip be gangster, sorry Po Rich!”
Recap: Perhaps a little wary of having to do his 3rd Proving Grounds battle, a serious Jey The Nitewing lives up to his open ‘I ain’t come here to play’ declaration with a sizzling 1st and classic 2nd round filled with spitfire punchlines, intricate wordplay, varied/heated personals and pontifications towards an opponent in Don Marino who entertained and came punch-heavy throughout, but overall just didn’t have enough to keep up with Nitewing’s more potent bars.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “What you take me for, fuck your hustle, when it come to the struggle nigga anybody could play that card, see I came from cold showers, all my euces know, but see most was broke, nigga Jey was poor, I ain’t have a mattress till I was 16, I had to wake up and make the floor!”
Recap: Fire 1-rounder between 40 B.A.R.R.S. and Shooney Da Rapper with the latter kicking an aggressive mix of bullish head-twisters and piercing name flips, while 40 came correct with a wide load of spicy punchlines, festive wordplay and fierce personals during her turn. No doubt a close one with an almost equal amount of haymakers, but a slightly more consistent and less flow-challenged 40 gets the edge here.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 1-0
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “Big metal on my waist, the metal got me sagging like Hammer’s pants, of shit go left, press this metal to her chest like a mammogram!”
Recap: Yunno, this talking through someone’s round thing needs to be taken more seriously. Most professional battle rappers already have a hard enough time remembering their raps for the ring and add to that an often noisy crowd and/or entourages that could throw you off at any moment, the idea that Th3 Saga (even tho he was complimentary) would dismiss an important unspoken rule like that and talk throughout Snake Eyez’ raps, just did his opponent and the battle itself a disservice. That said, even without getting too spiritual or biblical in this battle, Saga’s consistently fire punchlines, fiery name flips, righteous gun (!?!) lines, God-body screeds and deft wordplay gets him rounds 1 and 3 here to get him a win over a solid Snake Eyez, who while gritty and flexing with his bars as is his m.o., just wasn’t able to bring the consistent heat and unforced wit that you normally see from the Harlem rapper.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “Leg shot, made his ACL stop, Broadway Junction!”
Recap: A 2nd round choke by Habeeb is essentially the difference here as a pretty righteous, mayhem-rich and personal/punch-heavy back-n-forth between the IAMI hip-hop band member and Xcel gets the latter both of the opening rounds, before a more consistently spicy Habeeb took the 3rd of this 3-rounder from Southpaw Battle Coalition.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “Well let me guess, he don’t watch football, he’s on his Kaepernick, well you stand for peace?, well here take two of ’em, I got active fists!”
Recap: Resorting to too many nonsensical gun sounds and weak name flips, even if you want to give a way-too-anecdotal Big T the benefit of the doubt and credit him for some so-called ‘over-your-head’ bars (Ya gotta catchup!), the funny Team Homi disses and other unorthodox punches, this version of Ill Will, flexing throughout with exquisite bully bars, mean schemes, wicked personals and righteous wordplay/punchlines might have proven too much for Big Terrence to deal with even if he was on his A-game, which he clearly wasn’t here.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ill Will – “You good T, but I think they feeling Ill more, I could shoot him, or run up on T and swing, like Happy Gilmore!”
Recap: All Swamp in this one as the South Carolina spitter flexes a series of potent trap talk, stinging punchlines/schemes, fire set-ups and stifling personals to easily 30 a mostly pedestrian and ill-prepared Apollo in this Proving Grounds battle from Smack/URL.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “You look like you be loving and cuffin’ bitches, not me, the minute my mama put that light bill in my name I stopped trusting bitches!”
Recap: Topped off by a gang of spicy name flips, a hot performance and punch-heavy first half by E. Ness gets him this 1-rounder over a solid, but overall a little too inconsistent Chuck Books.
Verdict: E. Ness (W) 1-0
Favorite line: E. Ness – “No bitch in her right mind will handcuff Books, the only way he getting cuffed is if she left Chuck Booked!”
Recap: A gritty and punchline-heavy Riggz and a street shit talking, but also hilarious Squeako make for a dope, competitive and entertaining PG battle on the URL stage. Scoring with spicy punches (“So don’t try me, you know me, be wise, don’t approach me, ‘cuz if need [points to Squeako’s knee] be I keep the strap close like Girbaud jeans!”) after punches in the 1st round, Riggz takes the opener over an opponent who while serving up a solid plate of his own, couldn’t provide enough spice to make up for a slow start. The 2nd round saw both battlers flex with the gun bars/trap talk and even get a bit (esp. Squeako) personal with their bars, but neither stood out enough to make the middle round anything more than a draw. With Riggz still up a round going into the 3rd, the North Carolina spitter shined again with some fine wordplay, witty barbs and festive punches during his final turn. But showing some remarkable resilience, Squeako would come back with an even doper 3rd, a turn that was drenched with some spitfire punchlines, resonating struggle bars and more funky old-school semantics to put him over the top, win the round and make this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Squeako – “You average, but your confidence is up to the fullest. talking about your punchline got a punchline….well my gun got bullets!”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from Premiere Rap Battle League, a mayhem-lit Zan and a fiery E-Hart trade a bunch of hardbody punchlines. But it’s the slightly more consistently lit and name flip stunting Hart who edges things for the win.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 1-0
Favorite line: E-Hart – “I’ll Black on her, full-blown tan on Zan, 2 kicks, size 8 put both Zan’s on Zan!”
Recap: More anecdotal, graphic and spitfire with the heat in addition to flexing more consistently with the (“A shell will spit, I’ll black and push a nigger from the Darkside melon in [melanin]!”) mayhem in the latter two rounds, Rum Nitty ekes out a win over a Brizz Rawsteen, who started out (“I’ll throw a round sideways at a Crip, somebody tell him it’s a frizz bee coming…[Bwoh!] I squeeze until its empty dumping, the guys fall out, trust me, you don’t wanna see Rum on no empty stomach!”) hitting on all cylinders in a turned-up 1st round, before his opponent’s comeuppance and a few too many pedestrian personals/dry spots ended up doing him in.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I’ll make it rain, and he ain’t the same after it ring like a maiden name, that’s how I made a name!”
Recap: How fitting is Big T’s ‘Quiet’ slogan in front of a dead crowd in New Jersey? Very much so. Tho to be fair, listless b attle rap crowds in Jersey seem to be a common occurrence. Still, professionals that they are, Big Terrence and Jai 400 Black still put on a good show for the crowd with Jai’s rapid punchlines and ad hominem sermonizing scoring here and there, while Big T’s noted gun sounds, pointed punchlines/personals and fiery wordplay also leaving their mark. So who gets the win? While overall Jai was solid and more condensed, it’s a more versatile, cleaner and hitting Big T who takes rounds 1 and 3 to prevail in the end.
Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big T – “This a Uno match verse a Judo scrap and I don’t gotta break it or spell it out for you Jai, you do [JU-DO] that!”
Recap: Once again, an elongated Chilla Jones. But even against a solid and sometimes witty showing by MVP, the versatility with the punchlines or more notably, the flexing name flips from Mr. Jones edges this 1-rounder from Street Status.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “I’m fucking cutthroat, I’ll put a couple slices up besides his neck, one blade could make his future look different, I guess that’s the Butterfly Effect!”
Recap: Apparently back on his grind after recent bouts with choking, an almost flawless-with-the-flow Chess does his part, in this electric Banned battle versus Nu Jerzey Twork, to deliver a punch-heavy, (“Basically, I’m comin’ at (@) him, he strapped in!?, I’ll SMASH in…both his hands wit’ a hammer!, how he gon’ use his strap, then!?”) wordplay-spazzing and mayhem-dishing (esp, during a rousing and almost flawless 2nd round) performance that the College of Kicking Doors Down can only appreciate. Too bad for Chess, except for a shortened 2nd round that helped his opponent tie things up after he took the first, NJT was on his A-game too, the big man rocking the crowd in the 1st and 3rd rounds with a steady stream of steely punchlines, fierce name flips, raucous (“Your life’s ending, pipe lifting, eyes squinting, light-skinneded [Bang!] till there’s no more left then the right kickin’n [Bang!], now there’s one more left for the nice Smith n’, Shine on Chess [chest], ice pendant [Bang!] steel [still] get off…white privilege!”) gun bars and fiending anecdotes that were all backed by a spitfire performance to earn the win.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I’m at ya crib…if he in there sleepin’ peaceful, then he in for a rude awakenin’!, big shit!, I’m sittin’ by the bed while he snoozin’, waitin’, sniper rifle: bird eyes on Chess [chest] like a Hooters waitress!”
Recap: No Coast Raps 1-rounder between Human and Real Deal is a dope one as the former kept it spicy with a boatload of fiery punchlines and stirring wordplay/multi’s. Faced with some hardbody comp, Real Deal would meet the challenge, using a continually fierce punch-game, witty barbs and some piercing wordplay/personals/schemes to edge things at the end.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “When I hear Human with Killers, I think cool song by a rock band!”
Recap: A ‘trap game’ is a sports analogy used to describe a game that’s played against a seemingly lesser opponent before a big game that one might tend to outlook. With Loso recently having his NOME PG against Scotty and an upcoming bout versus the likes of Chef Trez, this battle here against a gritty and punch-heavy Clone is as close to a trap game. Don’t get it twisted because after round one, where Loso used a sizzling variety of flexing punches, fiery schemes and feelgood (“They told me ‘Oh no, Loso, your whole circle out in danger’, boy I ain’t seen a Clone with two straps since Urkel jumped out the chamber!”) name flips to overwhelm what was a mostly pedestrian turn from his opponent, it didn’t seem, at first, that there was any chance Loso losing. But the signs, like a more condensed Clone refusing to get into too much of a religious match with a Christian rapper and hitting hard with his punches when they did land and a solid Loso not always writing to his best when it came to haymakers and relying on one too many name flips the latter rounds. So when a more harder with the personals and consistently (“If he ain’t at the crib, then of course we hitting the church!”) nicer with the punches Clone edges a versatile, braggadocious and witty, but more (yeah, the fake-out on the Bad Newz babymama bar was hilarious) momentous than steady Loso to split things going into the 3rd and the momentum changes, it doesn’t come to that much of a surprise from an objective viewer to see Clone use some searing punchlines and fierce schemes to land one more haymaker and edge what was another solid, but just not as fire turn from Loso.
Verdict: Clone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Clone – “I drop a clip, he never seen, like a movie getting leaked, it’s bad and bourgeoisie, that mean I shoot Migo with the oozie on the street, the toolie on the seat, pretty black thing, old magazine, boy it’s a Jet Beauty of the Week!”
Recap: Hitting with rapid, but gritty and aggressive punchlines Krzy Bby puts on enough of a quality show to force a draw with Drugz, who’s condensed turn of mostly mayhem mixed in with salacious (“Silencer, something copper hit the ground, but you couldn’t hear a penny drop!”) gun bars might’ve given him this 1-rounder if not for an unnecessary tag-in from Dre Dennis.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Krzy Bby – “I ain’t seen nothing this ass on a plate since Cow and Chicken!”
Recap: Hard to see to puncher with the oomph of Bigg K struggle with his flow, but that’s the case often here in this Rare Breed matchup with Iron Solomon. And tho K, freshly lit when he was spitting robust punchlines back to back, had to cut a couple of rounds short thanks to the aforementioned unforced error’s, it didn’t help his cause that a more versatile Iron used a variety of fire personals, some well-crafted set-ups and other frenetic wordplay to help him dig a ditch and bury his less stable opponent with a mighty 30.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “Truth is, he ain’t violent, a lot of talk, but don’t do shit…DJ Khaled!”
Recap: Chuck Book’s fire ‘cut in line’ bar caps off one of his better performances as the York, PA, battler also uses a consistently hitting punch game, a bunch of hard street rhymes and witty barns to edge this GOTG 1-rounder vs. Bill Collector, who while entertaining as ever with a gang of spicy 1,2 punches, feelgood personals and a ‘Supa-dupa-scope’ that can hit you from just about anywhere, certainly made the effort, but with one too many elementary punches, couldn’t keep up with his opponent’s more potent round.
Verdict: Chuck Book (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chuck Book – “Any nigga talking about Book broke, that weirdo wilding, my credit card the only account that got a zero balance!”
Recap: An away game for Jersey’s Holmzie Da God is worth the trip as the Loud Boy’s rigid guns bars and gritty trap talk prove steady and condensed enough to beat a solid, but inconsistent Cedarside Mone in this 1-rounder from Bar4Bar Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Holmzie The God (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Holmzie The God – “I ain’t waiting for a nigga to spit, I’m a burst first, no slacking, shit always pull like a church shirt!”
Recap: Battle of New Jersey’s elite big men, Shotgun and Nu Jerzey Twork, is as expected raucous, gun-lit, personal-bent and with plenty of touching and banging around, enough to make you think these two were going at it in the paint on a basketball court instead of a battle stage. All that aside, a slightly more condensed, pocket-tapping, hometown-bar leaning and more consistent with the punches Suge takes the first, a round that was also decided by a turned-up Twork losing a bit of steam and eventually cutting his round short. Second round had the two battlers dishing nothing but heat with flexing braggadocio lines, vicious gun bars and visceral (Twork: “A pistol whip that’ll make a mood change, Nina, give you the butt, well, show ‘em how to do it now: Shake your groove thang!”) heaters, however with Twork also mixing in some fire personals (that included a ‘random’ shot at Tsu Surf), the more versatile Goonie who edges the round to even things up going into the 3rd. With bragging rights on the line in the deciding last round, Suge goes vet mode, (“Point is, how you King of Jersey, call yourself a soldier?, you ain’t never in the battlefield and had to look over your soldier!”) pontificating on his era of battle rap versus his opponent’s, while also going in on Twork hood credentials and fledgling battle rap career with his notorious ‘What His Life Like?’ bars of grit. However, a solid and fiery turn by Suge gets beat by yet another more potent run by Twork who with continuously rigid wordplay, piercing (“I take a Uzi, and get to clapping on you guys! I’m headed to Hillside, masked in a disguise, what his life like? [*chk-chk*], he can tell you when it flash before his eyes!”) punchlines and nifty, but stinging personals, consistently did enough to take the round and the win.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’ll have your babymama head missing for the goofy shit or shoot her dead in the pussy, I’m making tuna fish!”
Recap: In this close 1-rounder from RBE between Jai 400 Block and Qleen Paper, Jai’s head-ringing punchline game, piercing personals and flexing mayhem are enough to beat a witty at times and gritty with the punches, but not as steady or pointed as his opponent QP.
Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “Bishop on the roof is the only time we seen Q let an arm go!”
Recap: It must be nice to be Rad B. The face of the UDubb league. Good friends with Arsonal. Get to face top tiers battle rappers at will. And when one of those said top tiers pretty much shows up for a paycheck (as a mostly pedestrian Brizz Rawsteen does in this 1-rounder here), you can rap twice as long, hit with a boatload of hard and aggressive punchlines, win the battle and have something to tell your kids about. Indeed, if you’re a battle rapper it doesn’t get much better than that.
Verdict: Rad B (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Rad B – “Ironic, killing him is something I have to live with, but fuck it, the best memories come from bad decisions!”
Recap: Everybody loves the guy/gal who’s really ‘Different!’. Yunno, that battler who brings a breath of fresh air to the game with their unique style or whathaveyou. It’s only natural to be up on the best kept secret. And while earlier this year we’ve seen PG’s like Gunpowder Patt and Jey The Nitewing bring their own distinct flair to the game, perhaps, the DMV’s Madface is ready to join the mix. Dishing left and right with righteous punchlines, pugnacious darts, bodacious personals, metaphorical shiners and steely name flips, here against a solid, ruminating (and eccentric) Profit, Madface puts on a confident and (his only struggle here was during the 3rd round where it looked like he might choke) sharp-witted show for 3 rounds (Profit, who got better with each round, was condensed and impressive enough in the 3rd to get a draw) to take the win.
Verdict: Madface (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Madface – “Yeah, you fought for this country, but they trying to build a wall to keep who look like you out…a retarded soldier, you Forrest Gump in a war with Trump!”
Recap: Anyone who’s followed Jaz The Rapper’s battle career knows that she only battles about once a year. So for 2018, why not see Jaz battle…a male rapper…from the UK…named Shuffle T…on Don’t Flop…in the UK…on a stage that looked like what you’d see in a college lecture hall (with a seemingly studious crowd to match). Right. And while did contain its share of belittling personals, storytelling bars and (esp. on Shuffle T’s part) varied wit, it was also a really friendly battle. That said, after a debatable round 1, it’s a more battle-canny Jaz (the fact that her opponent didn’t do his research enough to not know or care that Jaz was no longer a virgin anymore, was ill-advised to say the least) who uses some dope punchlines/personals and hitting wordplay to take the 2nd and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Jaz The Rapper (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jaz The Rapper – “Adam, I found out you’re an atheist, they say God don’t exist, but he created Adam, see you don’t believe the stories they tell, but how they gonna have faith you gonna beat me, when you don’t even believe in yourself?!”
Recap: We’ve all heard the allegations surrounding B. Dot before–that he leads a ‘double life’, yunno, part-time gang-banger/part-time Pro-Black activist, hypocrite, Lux clone, etc. And Swave Sevah does a pretty dope job harping on that theme here, dedicating most of his lines to hardbody personals delivered to ‘expose’ his opponent being more talk than action or substance, while also making fun of Dot’s myriad of suspect ways, when he wasn’t dishing some fierce punchlines and witty barbs throughout the battle. But after a strong showing in round 1 by both battlers that made for a debatable turn, over the course of the latter two rounds B. Dot would prove to have more mettle. The West-coast spitter (despite 3 elongated turns) finessing between deft tutorials on what being a real O.G. means, stinging/witty personals, fiery rebuts for all the B. Dot critics, piercing gun lines and a series of hitting schemes laced with righteous missives to edge rounds 2 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “I’m that rude barking, and this old Yeller can’t bark with this, it go Mook, Lux, I.C.E., Swave, if you wanna Restore Order you should start with that Harlem list!”
Recap: File this one under ‘WTF Was He Thinking?!?’. A stickler for hardbody punches/schemes, after edging round 1 versus a punch-heavy, but less cleaner Danja Zone, R Streetz goes into ‘How To Lose A Battle You Were Winning’ mode and uses half his 2nd round to dish mostly lame jokes/personals, before getting back on his grind in the deciding 3rd and about a minute in…tagging in T Top for a cameo appearance that clearly meant for something else. And then he quit the round. Yeah, really. Either way, with Danja Zone pretty on point and scoring with solid punchlines and wordplay throughout his 2nd and 3rd rounds, one could make the case that Streetz probably would’ve lost the battle to the DMV vet anyway. But the sheer idea of getting away from got you on the big stage in the first place and fucking around with roasting sessions and an unreliable tag-in, kind of says that you didn’t deserve to win this battle anyway.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “Whoever said this would be a movie, should come to events a lot less faded…we still trying to figure if R a PG like ‘This Film Is Not Yet Rated’!”
Recap: Both Marvwon and E-Ness have been in the game for a long time, so it’s a bit of a wonder that they took so long to battle each other. Still, here the two vets are and besides a pretty cookie-cutter first round from Ness, the battle itself is pretty solid what with Marv’s sanguine wordplay and witty punchlines working to effect when he wasn’t delivering shots that didn’t always hit on his opponent’s career. Ness, on the hand got better with each round, especially a fire 3rd that resulted from a consistent run of potent punches that matched his bouyant performance. Altogether, a sound and mostly competitive bout that Marv edges with a more well-rounded 2nd.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Why everybody bring up Diddy when they battle you?, like you ain’t actually work for the dude, and as far as the cheesecake my nigga…well, I’ve actually walked further for food!”
Recap: Jakkboy Maine, Nu Jerzey Twork and Mack Mel. Is it safe to say that the Goonies are making quite an impression with these BANNED battles? Still, this one was close, with Franchise’s stirring (“Got this nigga checking for bullets, Mack doing the Macarena!”) performance bars and relentless heat serving up a multitude of fiery haymakers throughout the battle. But helped a bit by a couple of elongated rounds from his opponent, Mack’s ability to consistently dish spitfire punches, flashy gun lines, crazy set-ups, flexing bully bars, urban storytelling and steely (“I raise the glock and put a stock in Franchise, that’s good investment!”) wit/name flips, edges him the 2nd and 3rd rounds after a haymaker-drenched 1st caught him a debatable there.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “Whatever I lift from the short, whatever it hit it disperse, the clip long as the last 20 minutes at work!”
Recap: Well, what an interesting turn of events that was. After DNA dishes a performance-heavy, set-up (“Y’all remember verse Ill Will when I messed up the slogan, when I switched the liquor?, well I could fuck up the Yak again, then I’m a different nigga!”; “Let’s see if you could manage a punch, where Rome at?!”) savvy, witty, crazy personal, hometown-friendly and punch-slinging 1st round that was so consistently formidable that it leaned on being a classic, “The Champ” just took all the momentum he had here against a 1st-round-solid, but drawn-out JC and tossed it all away. Weird to say the least. Starting with an episode of “What The Fuck Was He Thing?!?”, using the high caliber NOME 8 platform to “experiment” and bring out champagne as well as Tech-9 for a 2nd round “interview” with “The Champ” that was just mostly lame and ultimately a boo-fest. Meanwhile JC, clearly more confident with his bars then the previous round, just turned it up, dropping stifling punchlines and wild personals/schemes that were littered with elite (“When I up the arms, you can’t up your arms to contest the shot!”) gun bars and a boatload of filthy haymakers. Tied going into the 3rd, DNA with nowhere to go but up, delivered what was a solid round with a usual assortment of nice gun bars, amicable schemes that Jay-Z would surely love and a few witty personals. Still, with his opponent handing him an easy opportunity to win the round (and the battle) with a turn that wasn’t too crazy, somehow JC finds a way to almost drop the ball. The Pontiac, Michigan battler starting off extra nice and spicy with continuously fiery (“These fucking bullets will penetrate anything, they got no standards!”) punchlines and extra heated darts, while continuing to mock DNA’s rap style (and missing tooth), but coming close to blowing the battle with 2-plus minutes of mostly filler towards the end of his turn. Indeed, if the raucous Houston crowd hadn”t told JC that he had the battle won already so he could stop rapping, DNA might’ve been warranted in serving them all with champagne too for giving him the vic instead.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Bitch, the .38 special, like every class you sit in up until graduation!”
Recap: Spitfire battle on both sides as Dre Dennis and Don Marino drop a load of versatile, performance-sparked punchlines to make for a close and competitive 1-rounder. However, it’s Dennis with slightly less dry spots as well as a capacity for more haymakers, that gets the edge here.
Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “I believe in the ratchet, like I support her dreams!”
Recap: Fierce PG battle between Real Name Brandon and Jey The Nitewing sees the former (after a pretty pedestrian 1st round) dish a plethora of glorified mayhem that made what was looking to be a one-sided match into something competitive. But aided by his unorthodox delivery/performance, intricate wordplay/personals/name flips and steely flexing with his punches, it’s Mr. Nitewing who takes edges the 3rd (after a debatable 2nd) and earns the win.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Fuck letting a glock burst, I’m big, you big, let’s see which one of us drop first, I’m fat, you fat, let’s see who’s gonna stop first, I’m dying to go to war wit’cha. I’m black and Samoan, so go figure, you know what you need for that type of shit?, some more [Samoan] niggas!”
Recap: A gritty and witty Shotgun Suge versus a lyrically bent and punch-heavy Chess on an EBC 2 card that while featuring none of the bells and whistles that comes with a Smack stage, still was a dope and competitive match. A fiery, more condensed, personal-savvy and consistently (“Like you palming the ratchet?, I don’t buy that shit like pork grinds!”) potent Suge edged round 1, before a debatable 2nd saw Chess get more versatile with the punches/set-ups and performance-heavy with his–enough to match a hard and comical turn by Suge in which the Jersey rapper continued to make light of Chess’ penchant for so-called ‘struggle bars’. With Suge still up a round going into the 3rd, Chess stayed on kill mode, dishing heat with steady real-life experiences in his lines, some fire wordplay and other worthy darts to edge what was another solid and condensed, but not quite-as-nice turn from Suge.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Chess – “I’m Tom Shepard in a shootout, they gonna be mad when I put on…Jersey!”
Recap: A tight one as Drop 30 impressed throughout the battle with a gang of flexing punchlines that in addition to 3 fire rebuttals in a pretty solid 2nd round, allowed him to stay competitive. Still, for all his opponent’s flexing punch game, a more versatile Big Kannon showed why he’s been such a mainstay in the game, mixing his own barrage of fiery punchlines with some lofty schemes, rugged name flips, head-ringing mayhem and piercing personals/rebuttals to edge the deciding 2nd round as we can call both the 1st and 3rd rounds debatable.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon -“You are a Dominican battle rapper…who are you trying to be?, Punjabi Surf?!”
Recap: Not this time. With a growing rep for choking away 3rd rounds, yet winning a battle anyway, Tsu Surf couldn’t be blamed for thinking he had this one. After all, a versatile, performance-hitting and punch-heavier Surf (assisted by a Rum Nitty mid-round slip-up) clearly took the 1st round here and came through with a pretty solid 2nd that had its share of haymakers too. But well-prepped from the jump with a boatload of eccentric gun bars, feisty punchlines that mostly landed, seething wordplay and some telling schemes/personals, after a pretty moderate (for him, anyway) 1st round, Nitty would turn it up in the latter rounds with enough consistent heat to edge the middle round, before practically being given the deciding 3rd round what with his opponent’s aforementioned failings.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I got Champion status, what’s happening, get pressed for real, a whole nigger get revealed, had a whole neighborhood showing they true colors…like Pleasantville!”
Recap: Although he ended up rapping twice as longer as his opponent, in this 1-rounder from Warzone Battles, a pretty confident Kream did manage to mix in some solid punches during his elongated and boastful turn. But helped in part by way too many pedestrian bars from his super confident adversary, Nu Jerzey Twork’s way more condensed turn, a round that was enriched by a gang of rambunctious gun play, swinging mayhem and some fiery name flips, easily resulted in a win for the Gooonie captain.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “[Bwoh!] the bullet surfing, it go in the crowd, holding it down, biscuits, .3’s [tray’s], Golden Corral!”
Recap: Tune 6’8″ could have the record for tallest battle rapper. But in this 1-rounder versus Swamp from BK Battle League, there’s noting much to see as Swamp’s dope braggadocio lines, stinging name flips and heated schemes/punchlines easily beat back Tune’s performance-heavy but mostly pedestrian raps.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “You a tall muthafucka, but this 40 nickle will slow cook a nigger like a pot roast!”
Recap: “I’m a man of many hats and you’re just Sway on the Morning!” No discredit at all to Danny Myers who was excellent here, raining down some superb (“One .80 [180] split your circle in half, stay out my radius!”) punchlines, fierce wordplay and aggressive haymakers throughout his 3 rounds. But that aforementioned bar by Pat Stay, a dope metaphor when it comes to battlers displaying versatility with their bars versus being more one-dimensional, sums up why Pat’s 2nd round–a searing ode to breaking down n opponent’s style, getting mean with the personals, showcasing crazy comedic wit, dishing raucous crowd-pleasers and an ability to punch with the best of ’em–gets him the win after taking the 1st, before a still turned-up Danny salvaged the 3rd.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Let ’em know, we could’ve did this battle awhile before, but you can’t cross the border cuz’ you don’t pay your child support, poor kids, don’t when they’re gonna eat next, because daddy robbed all their piggy banks and gave it to T-Rex!”
Recap: The irony of Chess still being so young, but having such long-standing employment in the game that he can give up-n-comers a shot isn’t lost here as he faces off with relative newbie Zay Smoove in this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden. And while going overboard on the mayhem and rapping almost twice as long as his opponent, Smoove makes the most of his shot with a handful of ringing haymakers and hitting personals that will probably get him some views from the higher-ups in battle rap. Still, once again proving that his long battle with choking is complete, during his turn Chess offers up a clean and turn of fiery name flips, stunted wordplay and jaunty punchlines that with more than enough haymakers mixed in, easily beats back Zay Smoove’s aggressive, but oft-porous heat.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “I did premeditate stabbing this nigga…let’s just say I STUCK to the plan!”
Recap: Yeah ummm, that was interesting. But if JPTheEntertainer (aka Cali Smoov) is really attempting to take on comedy, he should probably do a couple of tune-ups before going against the likes of a battle rapper who uses jokes for like 60% of his rhymes. Feelgood Mexican jokes aside, for Cali there really wasn’t much else there and with his opponent going ham with the Cali impression, fly personals and scintillating ya momma jokes, this one was really no contest.
Verdict: Uno Lavoz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Uno Lavoz – “Your mom got a face tat on her pussy…her clitoris gotta tear drop and that’s that!”
Recap: Say what you will about Bonnie Godiva, but she’s certainly taken advantage of her battle rap career to do some traveling. A frequent league-hopper, here we see Bonnie on the Don’t Flop stage in the UK to take on Respek BA and despite a crowd that seemed to be more interested in jokes/personals over bars, the more punch-heavy Godiva manages to edge out the witty at times, but mostly pedestrian raps of her opponent in both of the opening rounds to gain the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “You’ll get a long cap over ya head, I hope this jock-strapped because he gonna need it!”
Recap: Dishing way better material than his opponent, damn if this recap wasn’t prescribed for a clear vic for O-Red. But then the unthinkable happens…Red chokes and never gets his lines back. And for a longstanding battler like O-Red to not even be able to freestyle, use a mix-tape verse or even recycle bars he’s used before is…well sad. Especially in this case as a uber-confident (“The silencer on O-Red, he’s like ‘tsk-tsk-tsk‘..like the stove ain’t working!”) , but mostly subpar and reach-heavy Gutta takes away a win he clearly had no business receiving. But hey, hopefully Red’s BBQ plate was satisfying even if this battle wasn’t.
Verdict: Gutta (W) 1-0
Favorite line: O-Red – “That’s Gutta Gutta, I’m gutter, Gutta, I used to hustle butter, Block nigger, known for the grams before your mother mother!”
Recap: Except for a fire 1st round that featured a wide load of haymakers from both battlers, Brizz Rawsteen versus Charlie Clips was definitely not a ‘crazy one’. And the Houston, Texas crowd–which to their credit was heavily tuned in for just about every bar–let them know it, booing both Clips and Rawsteen during a very pedestrian 2nd round and also reacting loudly when they weren’t quite feeling substandard bars during each battler’s 3rd. Still, nonetheless after a close 1st where a more condensed and overall potent Clips edged, this one was all Charlie as the Harlem veteran displayed experience in the face of a sometimes adverse crowd with a nice freestyle game, dished some well-crafted schemes and utilized his charming wit and lofty punchlines to easily beat back an audacious, but filler-prone, elongated, mediocre with the personals and pretty modest with the heat Rawsteen in the latter rounds.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I got a new AK and it’s about to strike, and it clap more than a little black girl that’s about to fight!”
Recap: A nice style clash here as Kyd Slade’s noted street talk goes up against Eddy I’s witty stylings for 3 rounds on iBattleTV. A slightly more haymaker-friendly, street savvy and unapologetically mayhem-lit Slade takes the opening round before Eddy I came back with a personal-lit, amusing and punch-heavy 2nd round to even things up going into round 3. And while the last round was close and gritty on both sides, it’s the slightly more condensed and steady-hitting Slade who edges the deciding 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Kyd Slade (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kyd Slade – “Pull up on ya block like a drive-thru, I make a order with mags, adn since nobody lives, we pulling back around like the order was bad!”
Recap: Impressing throughout the battle with some excellent wordplay, a gang of fiery punchlines, dope schemes and stifling personals, Montenegro rapper Random pulls off a modest upset, overtaking a filler-prone and too- reliant-on-short-jokes/personals Dizaster in the 1st and 3rd rounds, for the win in this 3-rounder from the Rap Skillz Channel.
Verdict: Random (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Random – “Homey listen, call me midget, I’ll be on a solo mission to run up to your door and kick it like a pissed Jehovah’s Witness!”
Recap: Had to go up against a shitload of brazen, highly personal at times and raucous raps from SammyWild 100’s as well as a pretty fire tag-in from Gauge, but a more condensed, righteous, witty at times, set-up lit and slightly punch/personal-heavier Big Kannon provides just enough heat to pull out the win in this intense 1-rounder from Go-rilla Warfare.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “Hey nigger flatter me and just rap ‘cuz you wack and will never win, I got the better pen, double the delivery…that’s a set of twins!”
Recap: This N.O.M.E. 8 headliner doesn’t quite give you the best Goodz or the best Tay Roc, but in the long run it still ends up being a pretty dope match between two top tiers in what was a much-anticipated matchup. The first couple of rounds made for clear decisions with a more pointed with the personals, (“I’ll reach for this pole, squeeze and let go, leg shot, it’ll be hard to keep up with half the people you know!”) heat-cocked and punchline-heavy Roc taking round 1 via more overall potency with his bars as well as more haymakers, while Goodz (who already dished a pretty solid turn in the 1st round although it wasn’t as consistent as his opponent’s), snapping with his affable storytelling while also fueled by rugged name flips, (“But you tough tho’, right Roc? Can we be sure?, you from the county, you not even from the real B-More, no projects, no shootouts, no knife killings, the county got big houses, gated communities and nice livin’, what I’m sayin’ is, while y’all run around believing son, ya legendary Gun Bar King, come from a place where you don’t need a gun!”) witty/stifling personals and plenty of boastful shiners would clearly take the 2nd round over a surprisingly subpar and mostly pedestrian turn from Roc. The 3rd and deciding round was close and almost a toss-up. But Goodz, who was hurt a bit throughout this by ‘borrowing’ themes we’ve already seen used against Tay Roc, still came through with a mostly fly final round making use even more swagger-swinging content, storied schemes and some punchlines/wordplay here and there. On the other hand Roc, with nowhere to go but up after a disappointing 2nd round, made good on his earlier prognostications, continuing to aptly take on Goodz’s spicy personals with astute rebuts, dishing hardbody schemes, witty punches, finessed wordplay and best of all righteous gun lines that edged him the round and scored the Cave Gang honcho the win.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Gun Titles? You don’t want smoke with even half of that, 50 round clip, hangin’ out this automatic gat, just know if you comin’ after the Titles, make sure ya ladder match!”
Recap: Eazy the Block Captain’s trap talk and real life struggle (“Since I was young, I came with the cig like my mom wrote the note!”) bars usually make, as they do here, for a competitive battle. But a way more condensed, wordplay-heavy, performance-enhanced and mayhem-inducing Nu Jerzey Twork edges this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I’m like Hasbro…the trouble-maker!”
Recap: Well, that went downhill fast. After utilizing a stream of nifty/witty punchlines to match Xcel’s more detailed and salacious wordplay/punches in the first, up-n-comer Sweeney is brought back down to earth via a more pedestrian 2nd round, before faltering altogether and choking in the 3rd. All this while Xcel continued to land hard and score repeatedly with consistently hot darts and bodacious schemes to easily take the latter two rounds and the win.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “But, I don’t doubt your pop’s showed you how to use a gun and click…but ’round here, wild life shoot back on them hunting trips!”
Recap: Here in this 1-rounder from Street Status, Boatshoe Holly stands out for his unique moniker and not much else as too many pedestrian bars ends up costing Boatshoe any chance at even beating a flow-challenged at times, but still punch/name flip-heavy B Magic.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 1-0
Favorite line: B Magic – “Hope Verb beat Mook ‘cuz you ain’t winning tonight!”
Recap: To be fair, I don’t think that Saint Mic’s flow is as slow and robotic as Stuey Newton would have you think it is. But other than the so-so impressions, Newton’s gambit on a lot of visceral guns bars, witty personals, righteous punchlines all coupled with a more condensed plus freestyle and rebuttal-lit 2nd round not only pays off, but more importantly gets him the win after a slow start from Saint Mic contributed to him losing the 1st round, before a dope and punch-heavy, but elongated turn in the 2nd helped the Nebraska battler lose the match. A pretty solid turn by both battlers in the 3rd round was equally potent enough to call a draw.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Stuey Newton – “You pop where?, I’ll sock him square in the eye, leave him sleep standing up…like a heroin high!”
