Recap: For a relative newbie facing a borderline top tier, Biz Barker does pretty well for himself dishing some hot urban diction along with hood (“I seen his girl, she look like the type I could slide quick…whole time I was thinking orgy, me, her and my dick!”) jokes that kept the crowd entertained. Still, against the likes of T Top, ‘pretty well’ isn’t quite enough as Top’s more consistent trap talk and gritty (“If you ain’t got a Teflon hat or a shirt piece, how you gonna stop these rounds? he said ‘Jersey!'”) punchlines prove victorious once again.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “…but I ain’t pick up that pipe, I learned from it, I seen all the ashes they had and earned from it!”
Recap: Some borderline reaches here and there, but for the first couple of rounds Big Kannon’s more consistent punch-game along with a boatload of flexing schemes, piercing name flips and hardbody personals gets him the win, before Xcel finally ups the ante to deliver a more steady mix of fiery wordplay and raucous punchlines in the final round and avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “It’s filters, Photoshop, you ain’t stop to fix his image yet?, I mean its no direction in your videos, not even a Little X!”
Recap: Another dope 3-rounder from KOTD sees an uber-lyrical Cortez combine streams of sizzling wordplay, some witty, but also flexing-at-times personals and a gang of steely punchlines to edge the 1st and deciding 3rd rounds over a pretty solid throughout, humorous and hard-hitting at times, but one too many dry spots-having Charron.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “I’m a beast, woken out of his deep sleep fire in his eyes, I’m alive, and you gon’ greet me Sire, or you’ll meet Messiah, these 16’s get put to rest for trying to sleep with Tyga’s!”
Recap: If battles were based on entertainment alone, E. Ness would’ve won this one hands down. What with a steady stream of loud (“A headshot in broad daylight, that’s how you daydream!”) performance bars that kept him in this battle against Steams–especially in round two where his enduring theatrics were nimbly weaved with frenzied (“You a bitch with a dream like Coretta King, treat you like a bill collector, I’mma let it ring!”) bars and rich (“Fuck a drive-by, I’ll do it on a hoverboard!”) line execution–Ness was able to keep the crowd hype throughout. Still, for all his entertainment value it’s too bad that Ness still often suffers from dated bars and elementary school (“You softer than an elephant”) filler. The latter two elements of which makes you appreciate even more here, a way more consistent (and more importantly concise) Steams’ penchant of dishing nifty (“Code word: river, and my nigga’s put E’s bae in the East bay or strip for them, I done sat in front of more bodies than a speed date!”) put more bodies wordplay, fierce (“He’s a self-proclaimed legend, I be with with Chess, I don’t play checkers, you can’t King yourself!”) personals and stinging (“If I toss him a shot, I don’t expect to get it back…like a pass to Melo!”) punchlines that got him rounds 1 and 3 along with the win here.
Verdict: Steams (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Steams – “You say a lot of fuck shit while you winded, you need to pause more!”
Recap: Thanks in part to Xcel pretty much taking round 2 off, overall it’s a close one between the Team Homi vet and Chi-town’s Heavy Half. But the pick in the end here goes to Xcel, always a beast when he doesn’t choke, spouting enough delicious (“How can X miss [Xmas], when my gift is rap [wrap]!”) wordplay and fierce (“It’s cyanide I provide, there’s poison in every punch, Jim Jones style, all ya need is to test it once!”) punchlines in the final round to squeeze out the win and overcome some rapid (“You ain’t taking nobodies life tonight, you could stop it nigga, you OJ getting off for killing his wife, bitch you NOT the killer!”) punches in the 3rd from Mr. Half.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – Bar for bar..you?, never stood a chance guy, I mean I even came on your terrain-eo (i.e. Calicoe)…it’s still a landslide!”
Recap: As a rule a dope freestyle will always beat dope writtens. That said, when matched against just alright writtens, a dope freestyle will stand out even more. Such is the case here as the 2nd round serves as the difference maker in this battle between Charlie Clips and Big Kannon. What with Clips taking the first with mean punchlines and a crazy (“Listen I need to murk you, I wrap your body you don’t need a girdle, big shells stuck in ya botch back, we call her Lisa Turtle!”) ‘Saved By The Bell’ scheme over-matching the overused ‘Clips dad is a snitch’ angle by Kannon, and Kannon able to provide new and (“…the nigga got up, ran fast ‘cuz he ain’t wanna get jabbed by dude again, he left the whole building, ‘cuz he ain’t want him to guess what room he in!”) comedic fodder to that Math/Dizaster scenario last year, Clips off-the dome (“Old guns, but got all types of kicks, I had to East Bay’em, dick all inside your bitch lips, I’m like ‘what she saying?’, my hand back and forth on her ass, look like I’m DJing!”) prowess gets him a dub in Chi-town.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “I’ve seen you die and they still say you alive…are you Tupac, nigga?!”
Recap: Equipped with enough versatility what with witty one-liners, straight shots at his opponent’s penchant for gun bars and some fierce punchlines/rebuttals, going into the deciding 3rd round, Tez looked like he was going to take this bout against Franchise. However, a more condensed and strong 3rd from Franchise combined with an out-of-nowhere failure to remember his bars (tho he did almost make it through with freestyles) by Tez, gives Franchise the vic.
Verdict: Franchise (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Franchise – “I’m knocking on your door with [makes arm like gun] an arm out like a good pastor!”
Recap: Exuding the confidence, swag and filthy bars for which the league is known, Chess and Jay Balla give you yet another dope battle from We Go Hard. Jay is solid throughout his one round, dishing fierce (“I’ll put this pound on Chess [chest] like I’m finished peacing my niggas!”) performance bars, lucid name flips, an on-point Chess impression and delicious (“You ain’t got no guns, this shit is about to get drastic, it’s bad here, your hat off is Summer Madness!”; “But I seen you on Facebook, Cuf daddy!…you be fighting for your bitch, huh? Lil’ Scrappy!”) personals/jokes that landed with heat. If Jay may’ve faltered any, it was only due to a little filler here and there and too many bars not directed at his opponent. On the other hand Chess was well…Chess, delivering a sweeping panoramic palette of searing (“Who you got after Jay?, Reed [J. Reid] I hope he ain’t no cop!”) wordplay, quixotic (“And this blast’s for him, 59/50 I’m the New Era, so it’s nothing for me to tag a brim!”) punchlines and gripping (“Hey, I’m here to crush every dream this fucking fella got, you wanna bet your gwap?, I’ll hurl a blade and open Jay like na uncontested shot!”) haymakers that literally had the crowd jumping. These bars from Chess? An inferno.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “It’s a massacre, have your family looking at you in a casket bra, they lined over your box like previous days in a calendar!”
Recap: This was one of the better PG battles that didn’t get enough acclaim, much less made it hard to pick a loser, as both Bonus and Mo Mula brought their A-games to what was a highly competitive and contentious battle throughout. Still, for all of Bonus’ palette of sterling (“I’ll use the pistol to come and get you, shit I’m dope with mine, you’ll get crossed out with that cig inside your circle, that’s a No-Smoking sign!”) gun play, fierce (“You named yourself Mula, which is another word for money, but in this case it ain’t a paying cost, but it’s still a win-win for me, ‘cuz I get to fuck Money up and not take a loss!”) wordplay/braggadocio lines and pointed personals, a few dry spots here and there along with a lack of versatility with the bars as compared to his opponent didn’t help his overall chance at winning. Then too, for Mula to get this one, his bar steed and his performance (“I’m a keep it a buck [swishes down Bonus’ face like a blade] to show you that the truth hurts!”) game had to be superb…and for the most part it was, with the Steams (“….No! The Cake distracts you from the bald head like Amber Rose!”) cameo, in particular, making for a haymaker, while his noted dance moves came off as not only authentic, but useful in a self-deprecating way, esp. when you know your opponent is going to speak to it. That said, the only clear round was the 3rd, thanks to a stellar turn from a resilient (“The .9 with me and I swing the hammer like John Henry!”) Bonus. But that was only after Mula’s more multifaceted 1st and 2nd, which included potent (“Mama said you got nuthin’ nice to say then leave it unspoken…but you get out the ring and then talk about nigger’s, like Hulk Hogan!”) set-ups, singing, dope name flips and fierce shiners at Bonus’ crew throughout, was enough to get a well-earned win.
Verdict: Mo Mula (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mo Mula – “Where you from, step-pop’s rape daughters and mother’s blame the child…where I’m from, we use sweepers to bang top’s when my neighbor’s Loud!”
Recap: A sluggish with the bars Arrow lands a nice right with his ‘After I let the Tommy ring 4 times, I’m Belichick’ line, but other than that it’s all DNA with yet another consistent, (“Your last battle was with Jason, your thoughts was deadly, but your career is still in my hands, come walk with Freddy!”) punch-heavy and imposing performance to easily take this one-rounder brought to you by iGrind Entertainment.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “Murdered him, Shine right there, he’s the accomplice, y’all just seen me spin Arrow in a round, that’s a compass!”
Recap: Until round (“So if you see me it’s strapped, an assault rifle with the wood stock, no ski-mask, ‘cuz I wish a nigga would watch!”) 3, King Beanz proved to be much better with the jokes than the bars, leaving JC with more than enough room to dish continuously fiery (“You should’ve known better or shown effort, now the next time they see you, you’ll be see-through at Coachella!”) punches mixed in with some over-the-top (“You seen my shows, I hope you’re ready for this, ‘cuz I’m a let go of this body faster than a married Mexican chick!”) jokes in the first couple of rounds for an easy win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “You see the problems I bring, you do not wanna be a nigga I target, I’ll get to climbing through the whole set like the intro on ‘Martin’!”
Recap: Well, here’s something you never see: brother versus brother in a rap battle as Ace Da Great and YaBoyClip go head-to-head in this one-rounder for family bragging rights. And despite Clip being the vet of the two, altogether it’s not a bad battle…really. Granted, Ace Da Great spat some mediocre bars, but he still hit aplenty with a load of nice (“Since a kid I been good with these hands, everything I touch got static shock!”; “I’m emotional behind these bars, like I ain’t get a jail visit!”) punchlines and aggressive shiners, definitely showing that he came to win. However, with big bro Clips getting lit throughout with a variety of witty (“Yo Steams, by this nigga belly, my bro been reppin’ the Came life!”) personals, winning name flips and fiery wordplay, it’s the younger brother who’ll still have to wait his turn at the family reunion dinner table.
Verdict: YaBoyClip (W) 1-0
Favorite line: YaBoyClip – “He be working out, taking pictures at treadmills, but we never see you on ’em….yo I swear you a slow nigga, Austin Powers at Planet Fitness, I’m the reason you came in as a Gold member!”
Recap: After a subpar performance during his first battle on URL against John John da Don, Reed Dollaz returns to the scene with a much better showing here against Chess. Still, while Reed uses a gang of potent bars, braggadocio personals and some lucid (“Knock the gigs out’cha brain, leave the streets full of data!”; “Bullets hitting brick walls, trust me, it’ll go through, you don’t know the shooters, but nigga the shooters know you!”) gun lines to get his rep back and make this battle close (I got him edging round one thanks in part to Chess twice as long as him, thus a better bar quotient), too many outdated bars, a pedestrian 3rd round and the choice to lamely go into professional rapper mode midway in the 2nd, ends up hurting the Philly legend and thus overall, handing this battle to Chess. The latter who it should be stated once again, too often hurts himself with elongated rounds. Still, the understated wit, fierce (“Spend dollars on dollars, I’ll put a Check Up on him like a worried friend!”) wordplay, flippant (“Ghetto nigga side shot, look like I’m having trouble opening the car door!”) punches, an ill personals/performance, etc., altogether with his opponent’s shortcomings, gives the yung’un yet another pass.
Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chess – “The old slammie, just like Reed, it got a rusty pen!”
Recap: From LABattleGroundz, a fire and competitive battle between B. Dot and Danny Myers that sees Dot’s far-reaching ‘woke’-isms, prophetic sermonizing, oft-spicy (“Don’t be talking about guns, you got too many daughters and sons to be pulling out!”) punches/wordplay and gritty personals get plenty of shine throughout the match, in fact, for 3 rounds a testament to his rising fame in the game. But for all of Dot’s righteous preaching, he hurts himself a bit with elongated rounds (esp. the 1st) which gave way to more commonplace riffs as well as long spiels to get to the punch. Providing a fiery counterbalance to his opponent’s pontification’s would just come naturally for Myers tho, the West-coast vet meeting Dot’s aggressive checks and balances with his own testimonies on real street life drama, potent (“I ain’t gon’ lie, that the shit you be talking sound good, you be preaching Dot, but I brainstormed under my mental umbrella, you be reaching, Dot!”) name flips, steely personals, lofty punchlines/gun bars and plenty of ringing mayhem, almost all of which brought with it a gang of haymakers. And while Dot was near the task in providing spitfire moments, an almost flawless )and condensed) turn from Danny in both the 1st and 3rd round (call the 2nd round debatable) gives the ‘Bar God’ the win.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Stop it, I don’t feel your skill’s a threat, I’ll give Creflo Dollar 65 from the mil’ then jet!”
Recap: What Money Bagz had in performance and a little more variety with the (“.45 hit him outta nowhere, that’s a mid-life crisis!”; “You act savage and I’ll black Magic and I ain’t talking about a curse!”) bars, B Magic had in crazy (“Money know how to get peeled back, like I’m taking out a wad!”) name flips and infinite (“Don’t sleep on me, y’all know Bagz [bags] under I [eye]”!) punchlines throughout this judged battle. Therefore, pretty close throughout, essentially the difference here is Magic getting touched by a bout with Earl in both rounds 1 and 2, thus leaving Team Homi with the win.
Verdict: Money Bagz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Magic – “You don’t wanna feel nuthin’ Hot Boy, well leave the Cash, Money!”
Recap: With the chances increasing of a battle ending in a tie, this is why everyone should hate even round matchups. Especially in this case where, if what DNA said was true, Ty Law went past the required time limits in both rounds–so they might as well had done a one-off. Either way, I got this one split down the middle. DNA took the first with real talk(“This gonna be your first battle with 500 thou, so you could tell me your welcome more, ‘cuz Will thought like the police, he used dna to help the Law”) personals and (“The way the Nina kicking at Law, look like a Tekken fight!”) haymakers, while Law’s punchlines was (“Get nigga’s jumped, I hit each gunner, like 3 people in the Flintstone car, see them 6 feet under!”) splendid at times, too many lazy tooth jokes did him in. 2nd round saw Law step it up on the (“Steal him, I don’t gotta smack him, know he feel himself so he get the closed fist like when Saga try to dap him!”) wordplay, nice schemes and more crazy (“I’m dumping at his big-ass head, have this nigga cabbage baking, that dome you’ll get a round 2 to it, like procrastination”) punches, while DNA had a slow start and came with fiery bars here (“Nigga whatever you bleeding on, we’ll be next to the fresh prints [Fresh Prince] like Nia Long!”) and there, his freestyle compensation for Law’s elongated turn, was at the end pretty subpar.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: DNA – “I’m the PG killer, I give them that feeling, made Chess a star, off that [a] million, and showed I even got punches for the kids [balls fist], I’m Kat Williams!”
Recap: Frequent bar-fest here between Tia. S and Viixen The Assassin goes the Milwaukee emcee’s way after a debatable round 1, as the more versatile and consistently hitting Viixen (despite a pretty solid effort from Tia) unleashes a wide array of witty/head-ringing personals, rigid name flips, fierce punchlines and a sublime gun bar game that carried her to wins in both round’s 2 plus 3 on her way to a victory on the QOTR stage.
Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “See the problem that you’re boring, that’s on the business end, lead in her mouth like she drink in Flint, Michigan!”
Recap: Apparently on his way to an American Idol audition instead of a rap battle, Element Rhymes spits with little coherence, much less any real battle bars for pretty much the entire 3 rounds here and against Geechi Gotti. That’s a bad mix, especially against the likes of Gotti, who’s spitfire urban street flair along with a fire mix of unruffled wit, equates to an easy 30.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You wore your seat-belt on the way here, I had a 40. on me, we strapped different!”
Recap: Choosing for the most part to put aside the jokes, for this battle Young X designs his bars around his opponent Tre Poundz’ (“Like, what you know about that place, where it is not so sweet?, a yoga mat on concrete, that’s where you got your sleep!”) pedigree, as in who’s more authentic. But it turns out to be a risky move. As after dishing enough fierce (“I’ll run up on you while you got on your homie’s ‘Rest In Peace’ shirt, shoot him in the face, the nigga die again on the t-shirt!”) bars to handily take round 1, when Poundz’ gets more versatile, combining that real street talk with (“He’ll stand there and watch if I smack dude mother, type of nigga, rep a set, then get the tattoos covered!”) jokes and some nice wordplay in round 2, for X, an energetic, but filler-lined turn even things up and puts him a ‘lil back on his heels. Tied going into the 3rd, it turns out to be a pretty lackluster round for both competitors, with X edging it thanks only to a little more consistency with his bar quotient. while Poundz started off well, but labored towards the end.
Verdict: Young X (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young X – “I’ll punch ya pregnant baby mother, fuck her fetus up, or I’ll burn ya house down and anybody try to help y’all, I’ll fuck FEMA up!”)
Recap: Despite eliciting a horrible 3rd round that served as the lowlight of this battle, on the strength of a superb 1st round and a pretty dope 2nd, K-Shine still sneaks out a win over the always potent Ill Will. Strong and aggressive 1st from Will with ample (“Cal pulled out a few weeks ago, right?, it’s cool Call, Ill Will I guess they shook of him, but I already killed 4 Brothers from the D anyway, i’m what Victor Sweet could’ve been!”; “Either you get bagged or we drop a classic, either way these hoes will still riding Ill dick like Cookie on top of Magic!”) haymakers and nasty bully bars that hit hard, yet his turn did decline a little bit when some bars didn’t quite meet the standard set by his more consistent zeal. Thus, Shine taking advantage with a stronger start, flexing hard with ill set-ups (…niggas ain’t seen Miles since Moesha had her show up”), fiery performance (“Couple bucks I just [spins] spin and give Will a [Wheel of] Fortune!”) bars and raucous (“Tell Will to chill or I’m dumping the semi, I’ll just pull it to the side and I come [cum] for a quickie!”) haymakers that had the away crowd hype and even left Will nodding his head in approval. Shorter 2nd round from Will saw some crazy wordplay and more delicious (“Slide through, I’ll be there, guns blazing, you the first to hit, they like ‘Why Will solo?, the Secrets under the arms like anti-antiperspirants!”) gun bars from the Pontiac rhyme-slinger. Yet, Will’s ill verbal mix still edged by a more stalwart K-Shine using a nice URL (“…confused alcoholic, you was whining in the Yak!”) rebuttal to get started and then seguing to a steady stream of feisty (“Twin revolvers, two thumbs up, ‘Way to go’!”) gun bars, lofty (“He ain’t even know he was clapped, Charlie Sheen was there!”) punchlines and dope anecdotes that all landed. As alluded to earlier the 3rd round was no contest, with Will supplying his best round dishing out more dope (‘My verses explicit, them [puts hands out like a gun] drums will have his organs on the front lawn like the church got evicted!”) gun bars, an ill mid-round 2-on-2 with Mackk Myron and potent (“My nigga lets let the world debate, I’ll give ya bitch ultra combos and cinder [send her] to the pearly gates!”) punches that literally left the world. Criticize and all K-Shine for being lazy with apparently not writing whole a 3rd round, but that doesn’t take away from him just doing enough to edge the first two rounds and the win.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “I’m a 100 O.G. nigga, you a 100 Emoji nigga!”
Recap: With two exhilarating, punch-drunk rounds as well as arguably the greatest 1st round in battle rap history, there’s really not much you can say negatively about Rum Nitty versus Ave (credit to Smack for predicting this battle could be a classic before it even started). A super-lyrical punchfest from jump, it’s a boastful (“But you ain’t in the streets at all, you bum, your heart not strong enough to run that base…you John Q son!”) and also packing Ave who opens things up and sets the bar high with a classic 1st round that provided textbook 101 material on what incredibly astute (“I stash that fifth, and beat the foul out ya, then point it at the back of your head: that’s Alfalfa!”) wordplay with the proper research and Hip-Hip embedded cultural moxie can separate the top tiers from the rest of the crowd. But not to be outdone and already a noted punchline feen in his own right, Arizona’s Rum Nitty (making his first appearance on the URL stage) would not only prove why he didn’t need a PG with his own turn of rapid haymakers via flexing (“If I whip the piece, your family fucked, headshot your mom’s sister, they gon’ have to M-O-P your auntie up!”) punches after (“If I raise, shit sparkin’, I let that bitch go “blaka,” nigga… like he Facebook stalking!”) punches, but with little to no filler of his own and roundhouse screeds that had the house jumping, the West-coast battler would serve enough heat and frenetic gun bars to make the opening round a draw.
The rare epic battle that was little on personals or schemes or freestyles, had zero rebuttals or much in the way of performance-heavy bars, when it came down who’d take the latter two rounds it was really just a matter of who could punch better. And lack of versatility aside, the 2nd and 3rd rounds still served up a couple of spitfire, competitive turns from both battlers. But with little room for error considering his opponent’s ability to consistently rain down (“That’s child play, the Internet diggin’ this fuckin’ clown, you think you Pac? well, try to be Digital Underground!”) haymakers with steady ease, it’s Nitty’s 2nd round that would be the difference-maker here what with a handful of reaches and subpar punches that allowed Ave to outpoint him. The final round, another classic turn with both battlers on their A-game saw a more condensed Nitty doing just enough (“And on sight, I’ll pick you off, like they photo-flagged him, I’m known for that, mid battle, a 40 clap, that shit will stop Ave dead in a round like a cul-de-sac!”) punch-wise to also force a draw against an opponent who was just relentless throughout the battle, would only add to this battle being one of URL’s best ever.
Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ave – “See, that’s why we’re different, geek, ‘cuz see I’ve been about the action, 30 under the 40…that’s an improper fraction!”
Recap: After calling him out in a previous battle, Pass uses a fleet of blistering personals, fiery name flips and piercing punchlines to beat back a topsy-turvy Bishop Brigante in this 3-rounder from KOTD.
Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pass – “This a roast, don’t nobody in here wanna see you rap, they just glad they ain’t gotta see you host!”
Recap: Squeako and Scotty put on a dope 1-rounder for the 7 Shark Cities battle rap fans with plenty of boastful shiners, spicy punchlines, rigid name flips and witty personals mixed in. Consistently nice on both sides, it’s the slightly more versatile and haymaker-lit Squeako who gets the edge here.
Verdict: Squeako (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Squeako – “When your mom’s used to say look both ways before you cross…well I’m the streets she was talking about!”
Recap: A comfortable split of the first two rounds immediately gets fraught when (“His bitch gave me head under the table, what’s that?, off the books!”) Q.P. admits to forgetting his 3rd round and resorts to an imperfect freestyle spree that fortunately, he’s talented enough to pull off without a premature stoppage. Nonetheless, abled vet that he is, for Real Deal a well-written barrage of fierce personals and lofty (“If my whole circle clap like the cuddle break, you gonna make me raise this bitch in the air like I couple skate!”) quips had a pretty good chance at beating Q,P.’s forgotten round anyway.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal -“You and your baby mom’s put out a sex tape thinking that would do numbers, it was the first time in the history of porn the role of the plumber was played by an actual plumber!”
Recap: Younga Baby keeps up with opponent Franchise’s love for destruction and mayhem via stifling gun bars enough to split the first two rounds, before a surprising choke by Franchise in the deciding 3rd round leaves plenty of room for Mr. Baby’s continued flexing, much less a win that was capped off by a fire mid-round rebuttal.
Verdict: Younga Baby (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Younga Baby – “Come get me nigga, I see why you giving me the side-eye…’cuz you a fishy nigga!”
Recap: Pretty sure battling twice in one day (she also went head-to-head with Villun) had something to do with it, but a clearly-not-on-her-A-game MyVerse, while dishing some quality punches, rebuttals and witty zingers here and there, still didn’t have enough quality bars or consistency to keep up with the hilarity that ensued from the admittedly not ‘clever’ Oshea, but over-the-top with the misogynistic jokes, rich storytelling and witty personals in this entertaining 3-rounder from Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Oshea (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Oshea – “How come these bitches can survive childbearing, but not a single one of them can take a punch?!”
Recap: Despite his choice to run with very condensed, but well-packaged (“Verb, I’m back out the slump like when scoliosis hit you!”; “Let’s set the mood people, what type of nigga go to school, get out of school, go back to school to be a school teacher?”) ) rounds (when directed at his opponent), Aye Verb could’ve easily had this one, as Real Deal in between dishing some nice (“You a Hitman?!, I guess not, that description fits Gerald, you just write about gangsta shit like F. Scott!”) wordplay and rich (“This coke head has more issues with drugs than High Times!”) personals, still didn’t impress as much as you would’ve thought he would against another battle rap vet. Yet, tied going into the 3rd, it’s quantity as much as quality and with Verb literally spitting for only two minutes (half of which was nothing but aggressive filler), it’s Real Deal who uses a plethora of fiery storytelling bars to avoid what would’ve been a somewhat embarrassing loss in front of a throng that most likely came to see him.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Smack, I swear to God sometimes y’all be picking favorites, ’cause y’all choose to book marks, long story short we must be on different pages!”
Recap: Normally battling dudes, Tay Roc steps away from the testosterone to have some fun with C3 on the Queen of the Ring stage. Round 1 is all Roc, literally getting mean with it through the use of too cold (“You’re not a bitch, you look like a man, let’s fight, I brought a strap, y’all better hope this tran’s vest tight [transvestite]”) personals, vicious gun bars and sick (“Real rap bitch, watch your mouth, don’t think Roc is ya friend, if I hear the wrong bar B [Barbie], you’ll end up in a box with’cha kin [Ken]!”) punchlines that easily took out an alright and too drenched with elongated set-ups turn by C3. Showing off his versatility in the second round, Roc steps away from the personals and switches it up for mostly name flips and it works what with Roc’s consistently aggressive flow now backed up by repeated (“The first bitch run up on me looking like a nigga?!, she gets it, the shit kick like a horse, it’ll go upside C biscuit! [Seabiscuit]”; “Bitch you don’t want none of this shit, keep talking, the clip a retired Crip, it’ll stop C walking!”) epithets that landed and got Tay another round. Last round featured another solid (“Roc the type to go in your pussy hole with a pocket knife!”) round by Roc versus what was easily C3’s best round what with more consistently fiery wordplay, queasy jokes and a DC (“Or maybe you just want the woman to pull out that Hawk man [Hawkman], for every need I got him, but Babs I don’t know you even invited him, like he could adjust [to] this league, this DC nigga a comic!”) comic scheme that scored. Still, for all of C3’s style points in the last round, it wasn’t quite enough to overcome Roc’s overall uniformity and bar quotient to avoid the 3-0.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Bitch, you should focus more on being ladylike, you look like the lazy type, that don’t bathe, you wash up at the sink, with no soap, you just using baby wipes!”
Recap: This here is just how you like your PG’s–a fire and competitive battle from both sides that makes it hard to pick a winner. But a tighter flow and an edge on (“I’m a grimy cracker, pants sagging like a 90’s rapper!”) haymakers gives the gun-bar stalwart Glueazy round one, despite Reepah Rell possibly having the best bar of the round. Both battlers again stay (Glueazy: “I’m nice with it, I pull bitches like I’m light-skinned!”) consistently nice in round 2, but more points for Reepah for a more diverse turn that featured some filthy (“I hate this, now y’all gonna see a bald head pop, Everybody Hates Chris!”) wordplay, a richer performance, ill personals and potent set-ups. Tied going into the 3rd, one can’t help but note how Glueazy will often talk about his opponent’s bringing race angles into battle, but often be the first to do it himself….hmmm??? And that’s a little ironic when taking into account Reepah going there a handful of times in round 3, but also flexing with steely pontifications and fiery (“Ball raisers on the block?!, Please!!!, these nigga’s here fronting, he look like he spend his days chewing tobacco and deer hunting!”) punchlines to edge the round over a solid (“White boy, but the block love me, you Golddust, outside this ring, ya pop’s Dusty!”), but not-quite-as-nice turn by Glueazy.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I’m up in the kid’s room, if I grip the K, I’m shooting all the kids at the same time…that’s Picture Day!”
Recap: Take out the Th3 Saga slipping up twice in the 3rd round and what you have is a pretty dope and exhilarating matchup between him and Swave Sevah on the URL stage. Swave, confidently mixing it up with demonic (“You’ll help me bro?, yo that’s righteous…aight what if I say I confess, I’m possessed, but I like it!”; “Show up to your church sermon dressed as a voodoo witch doctor…and bless your collection plate with $6.66!”) punches that made you scowl, some (“You Christian right? yeah, you know who else claim to be Christian? Klan members….you know who they known for killing, right?…your ancestors”) food for thought, rich set-ups with even more profound angles and gritty street talk throughout his three rounds…had what most would say was more than enough to win. However, in rounds 1 and 2, Th3 Saga did just enough to do his opponent better. Delivering potent (“That’s straight work, you a Mase verse, I could see the fake past the rhyme!”) eulogies along with age (“Swave, you’re so old, I don’t even know if you’re African American!”; “Old rappers get rocked in the 90’s, I’ll FUBU fit you!”) jokes that hit, potent wordplay and jaunty (“Get tougher, you lost touch with the Faith…BIG’s mother!”; “You got back on Smack and died in front of his set…that’s Chris Tucker!”) punches from all sorts of directions, Th3 Saga edged (“You got cornrows and muscular dystrophy…”) the opening rounds, withstood a strong 3rd by Swave and hung on for the win.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “You don’t get it, I would trade you for Mo, Arch, PH and Sean Price any day, and that ain’t even disrespecting, you wanna be in heaven anyway!”
Recap: You’re certainly entitled to relish the (“If I swing and miss, you’ll still catch contact from a second hand from wanting to smoke with me!”; “You front about putting money up for the grams and really sold your boy this picture!”) unorthodox, abstract schemes/punches of Prof AC in this fire PG battle. But even more notable here is the more direct and versatile stylings of Whosane, who uses a barrage of lucid punchlines, pointed personals, underhanded (“I never take subliminal shots, I hate soft nigga’s!”) wordplay and sterling set-ups to take the latter two rounds and the win.
Verdict: Whosane (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Whosane – “This is sort of like when Goku was sparring, throwing hits at Vegeta, i say that to say I’m about to get you fit for the Freezer!”
Recap: Clearly motivated to bring his best against a fellow St. Louis spitter in Metta, Aye Verb straight spazzes in this 1-rounder from Street Status. Verb, with nary any filler and a flexing ‘Showtime’ scheme to put the cherry on top, scored left and right with a gang of consistently fiery punchlines, braggadocious rhymes and brazen personals to beat back the nifty wordplay and at times witty punches from an opponent who besides Verb was also hurt by one too many reaches.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “I’m the king and only one at a time is what this throne sit!”
Recap: Assisted by a couple of Swave Sevah slip-ups in the 1st round as well as Swave getting off to an extremely slow start in the 2nd, Danny Myers’ stringent punch game combined with some witty old jokes, rampant mayhem and flexing gun bars manage to take the first two rounds of this judged battle from RBE. Swave’s 3rd, a near classic with its righteous takedowns of Danny’s narcissistic “King of Harlem’ catchphrase was a delight to see, but it still wasn’t enough to get him the win….here anyway.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I’ll grab the semi from the shoulder holster, then I bust 8, then I’ll sneak the arm over the shoulder like a first date!”
Recap: No wonder hardly anyone is clamoring the Top Tiers, what with hardbody PG’s like this one…who needs them? DMV’s Ryda versus Harlem’s Snake Eyez is straight fire throughout, haymakers galore with little room for filler. 1st round edged to Snake Eyez, as his ability to consistently kick (“Think Louis Vuitton when I head shot him, ‘cuz his family ain’t know he was dead till they read about [red bottom] him!”) flashy, urban street (“But ain’t shit changed in my hood, nigga’s love me, I’ll probably get you smoked for free, I’m at momma crib, she still got the old Kool-Aid picture with the scratches on it., that shit about as old as me!”) flair along with some nice personals and authentic (“If we was on the Island, I woulda took this nigga commissary!”) bully bars was literally too intense and enough to beat what was a solid turn from (“I’ll dig a ditch, can’t catch the body?, then my lady will do it, they couldn’t get Snake up out this hole with Arabian music!”) Ryda. However, after barely losing round 1, Ryda stepped up the versatility, outshining a still (“My freedom?, I enjoy with a different demeanor, ‘cuz I still could’ve been locked away, mad at breakfast that I woke up late and missed that coffee cake with the Verena!”) fiery, but a little too one-dimensional opponent with a litany of crazy performance bars, frenetic (“Jesus Christ!…I’m the one who brought that twelve to the table…last supper!“) wordplay, dizzying (“The gun like business with Diddy, it did them all bad!”) punches, fierce (“Ironic your name is Snake, but you have yet to wrap around and body something!”) name flips and (“You the type of nigga that want to go to war, but forgot that you left your clip out, the type that’ll buy a house but still let ya bitch tell you ‘Get out!'”) jokes to take round 2 and 3 as well as the win.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ryda – “I’m known to black, but keep one eye open, like the Raiders man!”
Recap: Epic, long-awaited battle between Iron Solomon and Dizaster goes down with what you’d expect: plenty of racist banter, hi-def (Iron Solomon: “From slug fest to gun threats, this chump went from throwing temper tantrums to throwing up sets, choked out Billy, now he feel he’s a roughneck, been on 52 cards, got more attention from one deck!”) personals, rambunctious punchlines and some ill (Dizaster: “Who gives a fuck if NY is a no-flying zone?, I got Palestine inside my bones, I’ll hit you with a rock in your face from a couple kilometers away, that’s what I call reaching a milestone!”) braggadocio lines. In the end tho, it’s Dizaster’s 1st round that gives him the edge here and the win, as you could go either way in the latter two rounds. Indeed, a more consistent flow combined with slightly more potent bars and versatility gives Diz a dub over a fellow vet that he’s wanted to battle for a very long time.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “This here is for every single Arab, shit, even the Christians are gonna feel like they’re getting their payback, once I rape your mother in the ass with no protection, bare back, wearing a Mel Gibson face mask, you know what rhymes with bar mitzvah? Swastika!”
Recap: Bill Collector gets off to a superb start, using some nice (“We both play with the soda, [but] I use mine for pep see [Pepsi]? and make the coka colder [Coca-cola]”) wordplay, fresh schemes and rich (“Black Panther serious, let him know that I ain’t trying to play, so Bill tripping in half time, that goes beyond, say! [Beyonce]!”) performance bars to edge round one against ever-entertaining (“The way that you collecting germs is a skill, you probably use pick-up lines like ‘Herpes and chill'”) UK emcee E Farrell. But despite delivering some shiners (“The judge think I’m old games, but it’s True Crimes”) here and there, a too short 2nd round and a 3rd round choke eventually do in Bill, while leaving Farrell more consistent personals (“…well, yunno the slogan Billy, you can’t copy neglect!”) that hit, jocular self-deprecating bars and witty punchlines with enough punch for the win.
Verdict: E. Farrell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E. Farrell – “Bad bars, that’s fire trash like the rubbish was lit, colostomy bag, i’m the type to dump from the hip!”
Recap: 3-round BullPen tryouts battle between Loso and Bully Danny features a solid and sometimes gritty outing from Danny, but a much better showing from Loso, who via a room-shaking mid-round rebuttal, consistently fiery punchlines, hitting ‘imaginary’ gun bars and some piercing name flips/personals came way with a 3-0.
Verdict: Loso (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Loso – “Sammy Sosa, Michael Jackson, I’m just trying to enlighten y’all!”
Recap: DNA shows off his competency in this rare freestyle battle against the UK’s Pedro. Whether it’s prolific (“You mention my mom so much, here I’ll give you her number”) rebuttals, amiable (“For talking shit, i’ll forward clips, that’s a side show!”) wordplay or wicked punchlines, DNA’s package of continuous heat had the road crowd buzzing way more than Pedro, who while spitting a couple of shiners here and there, caught a bout with the slip-ups throughout his rounds and relied on way too many lame ‘Yo momma’ jokes to stand a chance.
Verdict: DNA (W) 10-3
Favorite line: DNA – “Yeah, when I run up I shoot those cribs, you mention my mom but I’ll wig on your mom like Uno did!”
Recap: Suave (“I said I gave bitches nothing but dick…and brief time spent!”), witty at times, name-flip savvy, diligent with the heat and rambunctious with the punchlines/set-ups, Nu Jerzey Twork does enough to beat back a pretty solid, (“You season 5 of ‘Walking Dead’ ‘cuz you don’t really plan to leave VA!”) punch-heavy and fiery Redd Handed, who more than held his own in the face of Twork’s boisterous composition, but not quite enough in each round to avoid the 30.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Mine might dump, it’ll lift Redd in the air like, ‘That’s my bike punk!'”
Recap: Close battle between Chilla Jones and Cortez pretty much down to hit harder and had a higher bar quotient in the 3rd. Nothing against Chilla’s 1st besides some filler and elongated set-ups in what was otherwise a pretty (“I’m like a frequent flyer, I stay tripping”) solid round, but Cortez, with a fiending flow coupled with a wicked mix of jokes, potent personals and stellar (“I’ll do you greasy, you asked for this so I’m blasting clips, ask Weezy, the K will put holes in your clothes, these fashion tips!”), wordplay took the 1st round with relative ease. Not quite as electric as his first, but still another solid round by Tez in the 2nd is edged by Chilla’s persistent (“You stayed with Clips for a month, but backed Hollow when they battled?, well that’s a bit strange, the shit’s lame, you disrespected Charlie’s couch worse than Rick James!”) schemes that landed and (“You had a debatable with Jimz?…you still looked like a clown, ‘cuz you was barring him [Barnum] and barely [Bailey] winning!”) angles that hit. Cortez goes the pontificating route in the last round, but for the most part it (“Shit I even got a punch for every time ‘Punch’ was on Smack DVD!”) works as he once again flexes his resume in a game that still too often doesn’t give him his just due.Chilla pontificates too and while the Nuborn line and a couple of others landed, Cort’s round lent more to being factual and had slightly less filler than Chilla’s–and that’s why Brooklyn gets the edge here.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “See, when you getting paid to take on a rookie, they go harder…but I would’ve had Jimz [gyms] on lock like Coach Carter!”
Recap: Vigorous and bar-heavy match between (“You love to saying JC my ghostwriter, cool, I expect the hate, if that’s the case, the hand of Christ moving my pen, it’s Revelation!”; “I been disrespected, y’all give me cats that ain’t half as nice, yelling ‘grown man bars’ when only a child thinks felonies are bragging rights”) Detroit’s Anubis and (“I’m just here to prove that you can’t stand the pressure, like when your ankle twist”; “I been bucking, I’ll beat a bitch ass like I’m fist-fucking!”) Nebraska’s Saint Mic stays close until the 3rd round where Anubis falls victim to a couple of slip-ups, while Mic stays consistent with an aggressive flow that was backed up nicely by gritty schemes, feisty (“Food for thought, put him to sleep. give him nigger-itis!”) punchlines and potent personals to take the win.
Verdict: Saint Mic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Saint Mic – “I bury shit, i’m an asshole to cats!”
Recap: Despite struggling at times with his flow, a sleepy-eyed Dutch Montega still managed to kick some formidable rhymes before running out of gas and finally choking in the 3rd. Of course, Chess being Chess, here dispensing standout set-ups/metaphors with filthy punches throughout his 3 rounds, all with relative ease, even if Dutch had brought his A-game, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.
Verdict: Chess (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chess – “Keep blasting, jamming his can like jail music!”
Recap: Mostly punch-heavy and at times personal-lit effort from Danja Zone. But in this competitive 3-rounder from URL, Rum Nitty would prove to be too much. The Arizona battler consistently scoring with dizzying wordplay, a gang of intricate punches, brolic gun lines and fiery gun bars/personals/name flips that included a flawless round 2 (i.e. classic) which when you added it all up amounted to a Gentleman’s 30.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “You my nigga, but I’ll give it to you, blade get stuck in a friendZone like how the bitches do you!”
Recap: In this flexing 3-rounder from TrapNY, Ish Mula comes solid with the name flips, bully bars as well as some nifty wordplay. However, a more consistent with the punches/schemes, fierce with the personals and versatile with the bars Holmzie Da God does just enough (along with a fire rebuttal in the 2nd) to edge the first couple of rounds and earn the win here.
Verdict: Holmzie Da God (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Holmzie Da God – “I got a AK, drum clip, ain’t no way of dodging …, these bitches coming outta nowhere, they like the Cosby accusers!”
Recap: Never one to leave the crib without a shitload of blistering gun bars, along with some fiery name flips, ringing punchlines and a couple of quality personals, Young Kannon comes well equipped to make quick work of a solid and gritty, but not as potent Michael Ice in this 3-rounder from Alpha League.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “You rep the .5, I’m testing a Blood, that’s a phlebotomy!”
Recap: Close battle between G Mayne Frost and (“Everybody you battle do the same shit, well I ain’t them and you know the .9 will get you baby, when you came in!”) Glueazy with plenty of dope (Frost: “Y’all really think this ginger snap?, he don’t even cook, he come with tasteless rounds and that’s why they book me!”) punchlines, heavy (Frost: “Before [B4] I 3 and [N} 0 G 2 gonna owe [O] 1, that’s Bingo!”) wordplay and fiending (Glueazy: When I start sleeping these bitches, it ain’t date rape!”) haymakers from both sides. Still, this wasn’t close enough to be called a debatable as with a little more variety and (Frost: “Your friends, in the hood, only invited you over when they needed a night light!”) wit to his bars, it’s Frost to takes the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: G Mayne Frost (W) 2-1
Favorite line: G Mayne Frost – “Your version of pocket-checking is stealing from your mom’s purse!”
Recap: Sorry, but no winner here as in this sizzling 1-rounder from NOBL, both Buretta Blaze and (“I paved the way for these botches to shine, I gave Tori lanes [Lanez]!”) 40 B.A.R.R.S, do their thing, each battler offering up an equal percentage of gritty punchlines, piercing personals, fierce name flips, hitting 4-bar set-ups and stinging heat to make this one a fitting draw.
Verdict: Debatable
Favorite line: Buretta Blaze – “You been riding high speed in the ring for awhile now, gets you a court date, but I’m a shooter, bitch I only sit my gun down at the end of the couch to let my arm rest!”
Recap: After a well-equipped, but short-lived 1st round (still, call the opener a debatable thanks in part to Lunes’ slip-up), Jey The Nitewing extends his palette with two consecutive rounds of nothing but fiery punchlines, fierce wordplay and righteous personals to edge them both and catch a vic over a mostly solid punching Lunes in this 3-rounder from High-Noon Rap Battles.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “You’re whole gridlock, zip lock, nigga’s like these got expiration dates!”
Recap: They see moments are fleeting and more often than not, haymakers are what you remember most in a battle. Still, consistency has to count for something and for all of JC’s elusive (“What’s homicide to an Undertaker, I literally throw Mankind Off!”) shiners here and there, it’s the cocky, but fierce, versatile and spirited darts from J Murda that edges him rounds 2 and 3 and gets him the win here. Indeed, for all of JC’s lyrical attirbutes, a little too much redundancy with his gun bars as well as permeable filler en route to his more standout lines, along with a Murda who brought his A-game with some seismic wordplay, fire schemes, stylistic/witty/mocking personals and steady (“Bench player, you’ll get a ring even if you do nothing!”) mayhem with the heat, ends up hurting the Writer’s Block captain in a judged battle that while close throughout, clearly should’ve ended with a different verdict.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda – “I will smack the bitch out of you…then chill with her!”
Recap: JC said it best, proving to be way ‘too much’ for Born, who for some reason decided in the early rounds, to at times abandon his noted (“Get crucified, I bet an arm will get in [Armageddon], then I’m stretching something, if I miss the first then JC the second coming!”) punchline game, for personals and name flips that didn’t always land and lines that were peppered with reaches. Nonetheless, this version of JC would’ve been nearly impossible to beat anyway. Seemingly motivated by Born’s long (“This all started with me not accepting this…and you not accepting it”) desire for this matchup, JC stayed ahead with repeated (“You want my advice? stop shooting, I’m nukin’, try stock and bonds, the ratchet ate Born like Octomom!”) haymakers, sizzling (“But just to hear me, they willing you give you a feature for the show, see this Victor…Sweet, even got you eating off the floor!”) wordplay and jaunty (“I’m that boy, in front of his house, with a lot of Mac clips, but a cocktail would be like inducing labor…be gonna force Bon outta that bitch!”) punchlines that literally had the crowd buzzing. And while JC stayed afloat enough with sharp (“I paint pictures, on the polls, niggas get boxed with a head shot and I’m Wanted for that”; “Born, every nigga I know armed with k’s, and down to shoot like it’s laundry day!”) bars to almost pull out the latter round, Born’s bright decision to revert back to punchline-heavy (‘Gut punch, leave you lying where you stand like perjury!”; “I was baptized to be born again, word to me, now I’m covered in the blood of JC, with a box of ties offering, I gotta pay his churches fees!”) bars along with a stronger performance, was just enough to edge him the 3rd round and avoid an embarrassing 3-0.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “It can get messy here, like jet repair, we air Tek’s [techs], the shots Blue [blew] Blood like it didn’t hit air yet!”
Recap: While Casey Jay has established herself as one of the most versatile and fiercest puncher’s in the female battle rapper game, her knock for over-writing still shows up from time to time. Another example being here, versus fellow (by way of Dallas) Texan Robin Rhymes, in which Casey uses her mom (who was in the crowd) to cap a fire punchline of an already lengthy and fire 3rd round, gets a huge reaction from the crowd and instead of ending things there, goes on for another minute or so with bars on rehashed themes she’s already spouted. And while filler is a problem many battle rappers face, timing/being able to know when to punctuate your round and egotism when it comes to your pen (something I feel Chilla Jones dealt with early in his career) can all play a part when it comes to overkill. That said, after a rambunctious and punch-heavy on both sides (better consistency and more haymakers gave Casey the edge) 1st round, this one was pretty much all Ms. Jay as the San Antonio spitter (with an assist from Robin shortening a flow-challenged round 2) served up some fly rebuttals to go along with a gang of righteous punchlines, some exquisite wordplay, steely personals and flexing heat to beat back a still solid-punching at times, but not as steady Rhymes and earn the 30.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “My punches are like advice…easy to give, but hard to take!”
Recap: Stumbles combines a gritty flow with real street (“What you was booked for?, that nigga look more…see, I’m first shot, you already took four!”; “Pops was an addict [attic] before I even knew what the base meant [basement]”) talk, nice bully (“Nigga, I will kill you and raise your son!”) bars and rich storytelling lines to stay competitive throughout this battle with Big T. However, overall his semantics lack consistency and just aren’t enough to keep up with T’s more steady combo of nifty (“Driving around looking for Smoke, he like Big Worm!”; “Boy you a puddle, you’re trash, you’re doo-doo, you’re ass, you boo-boo, you’re P-U, you’re played out, you platinum FUBU!”) wordplay, potent name flips, fierce schemes and searing (“Dirt, steel barrel, all I need is a wheelbarrow, bury him alive the Kill Bill special, beat him to death the Emmitt Till special, ‘cuz all my boys got arms around me, they make feel special!”; “See I got the courage to take your ashes up out of the furnace and [smacks the air] LeBron James the remains after the service!”) performance bars.
Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big T – “My pops will make you put those guns down like Craig daddy!”
Recap: Even with the lisp, Hazey’s lofty (“Ain’t no such thing as a good morning [mourning], you’ll be at your wake alone!”) wordplay and flexing punchlines contain plenty of potency. Indeed, enough here to take rounds 1 and 3 over a sometimes (“My partner in crime, a Calicoe [Cali cold] defendant, they’ll landslide ya, real violence, they known on the block, QP and his baby mother on Maury, I know who to pop!”) biting/witty, but often laborious Gwitty.
Verdict: Hazey (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hazey -“He could put on a vest and still die [waves hands like gun], nigga that’s laser tag!”
Recap: A more versatile Yung Griz, jumping out of the gate with a punchline-crazy 1st round to in the later rounds spouting hot schemes when he wasn’t macking on his opponent’s girl (amongst other robust personals) gets the 30 over the gritty and at times wordplay-nice, but overall underwhelming Shi Dog in this 3-rounder from AHAT.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “I hope y’all came ready for 3 rounds of me giving him more, I came to fuck Dog up, like I know this bitch ain’t shot on my floor!”
Recap: Who doesn’t love a fire PG? Well, that’s certainly what you got here as Utah’s Emerson Kennedy comes all the way out to the East coast to take on Brooklyn’s Jerry Wess. Despite a dope turn of fiery wordplay and fire punches from a slightly elongated EK in the first, Wess took the 1st with a sizzling and at times performance-heavy round that was backed by handful of well-stocked (“Bang, bang, you’ll be the first PG to get a ‘Don DeMarco!'”; “Pop the arm?!, you wouldn’t pull a muscle at a seafood bar!”) haymakers. Round two was another dope turn from both battlers, but EK’s fiery set-ups, standoffish (“No credit for the bullets, you not spraying nigga, we told you like we told Kobe, stop playing nigga!”) punchlines and raucous wordplay would edge an overall solid punch-wise, but too-often pedestrian turn by his opponent. Last round was nice on both ends with EK and Wess dropping an equal share of spitfire punchlines. But a nice rebuttal, fire struggle life bars and one more haymaker by Mr. Kennedy gets him the win here.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “I was living in guestrooms, whole family had to rent rooms with junkie roommates, paraphernalia, needles, ex-shroom’s, I felt like Neo, in the Matrix, when I was just 2, I knew this couldn’t be real life when I saw all them bent spoons!”
Recap: 3-rounder between battle vets Dizaster and Marvwon goes Diz’s way as while Marv came through with a personal-bent (that ‘red carpet’ punchline in round 3 was crazy), gritty at times and funny 3 rounds of heat, Diz’s spicy personals and relentless fat jokes (even if a little predictable), almost all of which were both hilarious and set-up lit, would prove to be too much in the end.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “He wants to act like he’s on some gang shit, but look at his body language, you don’t wanna rob no bank, you wanna rob a banquet!”
Recap: Making up for a minor slip-up near the end of his turn with a couple of solid freestyles and then getting right back on his grind of piercing punchlines, witty barbs and fiery heat/wordplay allows Cortez to edge this Don’t Flop 1-rounder over a hitting at times, but mostly middle-of-the-road Ark.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “National anthem, I let it sing and then it’s caps off!”
Recap: A solid punching, witty and gritty at times 3-rounder from Alpha League between N Pose and Bill Collector gets upended, after the two split the first coupel rounds, by Bill Collector (who was ahead at the time) surprisingly choking near the end of his 3rd round, thus handing N Pose the win.
Verdict: N Pose (W) 2-1
Favorite line: N Pose – “This shit is a massacre, I wanna use my chainsaw, no flip that, when I’m done your neck will be the least thing that chain saw!”
Recap: Gotta appreciate a crowd that lets you know it when you come unprepared. And boy did they here as after B. Magic got off to a hot start with a punch-heavy opening round to easily beat back a mostly pedestrian turn from Brixx Belvy, in light of Belvy upping his punchline game with a steadily hitting 2nd round, midway through Magic’s 2nd he’d would catch a severe case of the hiccups and proceed to choke away both of his latter rounds (to the tune of some serious displeasure from the audience) and pretty much hand an increasingly potent and personal-lit Belvy the win.
Verdict: Brixx Belvy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brixx Belvy – “You in here looking like a bitch and they know it…oh, that’s your resting face!”
