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Heartless defeats Calicoe

Synopsis: For the most part a pre-“Landslide!” Calicoe puts on a dope show using fierce punchlines (“His bitch always want me to cut, she admire my saw”) and jokes (“He was one of those fat, short niggas at the court wishing he was a tall cat that say ‘If I can’t play well I’m taking my ball back”) to rally the crowd while making a game attempt to steal a win from hometown fave Heartless. Yet, an animated Heartless sets adrfit any chance for Calicoe to take this one by delivering two rounds of pure heat. Put aside the quasi-gay (“smack at his butt like baby clothes”) lines, Heartless goes immediately for the throat with punchlines (“….Nigga if you Mr. Hightower, how come you still ain’t came here [hair] with a fresh line”) galore an ill ‘how-to-use-arm’ scheme and steady haymakers (“I’m not fucking with him, that’s why I stay strapped, nigga I bring that semi abroad, that bitch done took off more wigs than Nicki Minaj”). Granted it’s not easy getting beat by a guy dressed in pink, but Calicoe will be alright.

Verdict: Heartless (W) 2-1

Best line: Heartless – “If I approach you with that iron kid, it’s no wonder you’ll be losing bread, fuck it, how about we all just rob him then go cut the cake together like newlyweds?”