No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: Hitting with rapid, but gritty and aggressive punchlines Krzy Bby puts on enough of a quality show to force a draw with Drugz, who’s condensed turn of mostly mayhem mixed in with salacious (“Silencer, something copper hit the ground, but you couldn’t hear a penny drop!”) gun bars might’ve given him this 1-rounder if not for an unnecessary tag-in from Dre Dennis.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Krzy Bby – “I ain’t seen nothing this ass on a plate since Cow and Chicken!”
Recap: Hard to see to puncher with the oomph of Bigg K struggle with his flow, but that’s the case often here in this Rare Breed matchup with Iron Solomon. And tho K, freshly lit when he was spitting robust punchlines back to back, had to cut a couple of rounds short thanks to the aforementioned unforced error’s, it didn’t help his cause that a more versatile Iron used a variety of fire personals, some well-crafted set-ups and other frenetic wordplay to help him dig a ditch and bury his less stable opponent with a mighty 30.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Iron Solomon – “Truth is, he ain’t violent, a lot of talk, but don’t do shit…DJ Khaled!”
Recap: Chuck Book’s fire ‘cut in line’ bar caps off one of his better performances as the York, PA, battler also uses a consistently hitting punch game, a bunch of hard street rhymes and witty barns to edge this GOTG 1-rounder vs. Bill Collector, who while entertaining as ever with a gang of spicy 1,2 punches, feelgood personals and a ‘Supa-dupa-scope’ that can hit you from just about anywhere, certainly made the effort, but with one too many elementary punches, couldn’t keep up with his opponent’s more potent round.
Verdict: Chuck Book (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chuck Book – “Any nigga talking about Book broke, that weirdo wilding, my credit card the only account that got a zero balance!”
Recap: An away game for Jersey’s Holmzie Da God is worth the trip as the Loud Boy’s rigid guns bars and gritty trap talk prove steady and condensed enough to beat a solid, but inconsistent Cedarside Mone in this 1-rounder from Bar4Bar Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Holmzie The God (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Holmzie The God – “I ain’t waiting for a nigga to spit, I’m a burst first, no slacking, shit always pull like a church shirt!”
Recap: Battle of New Jersey’s elite big men, Shotgun and Nu Jerzey Twork, is as expected raucous, gun-lit, personal-bent and with plenty of touching and banging around, enough to make you think these two were going at it in the paint on a basketball court instead of a battle stage. All that aside, a slightly more condensed, pocket-tapping, hometown-bar leaning and more consistent with the punches Suge takes the first, a round that was also decided by a turned-up Twork losing a bit of steam and eventually cutting his round short. Second round had the two battlers dishing nothing but heat with flexing braggadocio lines, vicious gun bars and visceral (Twork: “A pistol whip that’ll make a mood change, Nina, give you the butt, well, show ‘em how to do it now: Shake your groove thang!”) heaters, however with Twork also mixing in some fire personals (that included a ‘random’ shot at Tsu Surf), the more versatile Goonie who edges the round to even things up going into the 3rd. With bragging rights on the line in the deciding last round, Suge goes vet mode, (“Point is, how you King of Jersey, call yourself a soldier?, you ain’t never in the battlefield and had to look over your soldier!”) pontificating on his era of battle rap versus his opponent’s, while also going in on Twork hood credentials and fledgling battle rap career with his notorious ‘What His Life Like?’ bars of grit. However, a solid and fiery turn by Suge gets beat by yet another more potent run by Twork who with continuously rigid wordplay, piercing (“I take a Uzi, and get to clapping on you guys! I’m headed to Hillside, masked in a disguise, what his life like? [*chk-chk*], he can tell you when it flash before his eyes!”) punchlines and nifty, but stinging personals, consistently did enough to take the round and the win.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’ll have your babymama head missing for the goofy shit or shoot her dead in the pussy, I’m making tuna fish!”
Recap: In this close 1-rounder from RBE between Jai 400 Block and Qleen Paper, Jai’s head-ringing punchline game, piercing personals and flexing mayhem are enough to beat a witty at times and gritty with the punches, but not as steady or pointed as his opponent QP.
Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “Bishop on the roof is the only time we seen Q let an arm go!”
Recap: It must be nice to be Rad B. The face of the UDubb league. Good friends with Arsonal. Get to face top tiers battle rappers at will. And when one of those said top tiers pretty much shows up for a paycheck (as a mostly pedestrian Brizz Rawsteen does in this 1-rounder here), you can rap twice as long, hit with a boatload of hard and aggressive punchlines, win the battle and have something to tell your kids about. Indeed, if you’re a battle rapper it doesn’t get much better than that.
Verdict: Rad B (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Rad B – “Ironic, killing him is something I have to live with, but fuck it, the best memories come from bad decisions!”
Recap: Everybody loves the guy/gal who’s really ‘Different!’. Yunno, that battler who brings a breath of fresh air to the game with their unique style or whathaveyou. It’s only natural to be up on the best kept secret. And while earlier this year we’ve seen PG’s like Gunpowder Patt and Jey The Nitewing bring their own distinct flair to the game, perhaps, the DMV’s Madface is ready to join the mix. Dishing left and right with righteous punchlines, pugnacious darts, bodacious personals, metaphorical shiners and steely name flips, here against a solid, ruminating (and eccentric) Profit, Madface puts on a confident and (his only struggle here was during the 3rd round where it looked like he might choke) sharp-witted show for 3 rounds (Profit, who got better with each round, was condensed and impressive enough in the 3rd to get a draw) to take the win.
Verdict: Madface (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Madface – “Yeah, you fought for this country, but they trying to build a wall to keep who look like you out…a retarded soldier, you Forrest Gump in a war with Trump!”
Recap: Anyone who’s followed Jaz The Rapper’s battle career knows that she only battles about once a year. So for 2018, why not see Jaz battle…a male rapper…from the UK…named Shuffle T…on Don’t Flop…in the UK…on a stage that looked like what you’d see in a college lecture hall (with a seemingly studious crowd to match). Right. And while did contain its share of belittling personals, storytelling bars and (esp. on Shuffle T’s part) varied wit, it was also a really friendly battle. That said, after a debatable round 1, it’s a more battle-canny Jaz (the fact that her opponent didn’t do his research enough to not know or care that Jaz was no longer a virgin anymore, was ill-advised to say the least) who uses some dope punchlines/personals and hitting wordplay to take the 2nd and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Jaz The Rapper (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jaz The Rapper – “Adam, I found out you’re an atheist, they say God don’t exist, but he created Adam, see you don’t believe the stories they tell, but how they gonna have faith you gonna beat me, when you don’t even believe in yourself?!”
Recap: We’ve all heard the allegations surrounding B. Dot before–that he leads a ‘double life’, yunno, part-time gang-banger/part-time Pro-Black activist, hypocrite, Lux clone, etc. And Swave Sevah does a pretty dope job harping on that theme here, dedicating most of his lines to hardbody personals delivered to ‘expose’ his opponent being more talk than action or substance, while also making fun of Dot’s myriad of suspect ways, when he wasn’t dishing some fierce punchlines and witty barbs throughout the battle. But after a strong showing in round 1 by both battlers that made for a debatable turn, over the course of the latter two rounds B. Dot would prove to have more mettle. The West-coast spitter (despite 3 elongated turns) finessing between deft tutorials on what being a real O.G. means, stinging/witty personals, fiery rebuts for all the B. Dot critics, piercing gun lines and a series of hitting schemes laced with righteous missives to edge rounds 2 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “I’m that rude barking, and this old Yeller can’t bark with this, it go Mook, Lux, I.C.E., Swave, if you wanna Restore Order you should start with that Harlem list!”
Recap: File this one under ‘WTF Was He Thinking?!?’. A stickler for hardbody punches/schemes, after edging round 1 versus a punch-heavy, but less cleaner Danja Zone, R Streetz goes into ‘How To Lose A Battle You Were Winning’ mode and uses half his 2nd round to dish mostly lame jokes/personals, before getting back on his grind in the deciding 3rd and about a minute in…tagging in T Top for a cameo appearance that clearly meant for something else. And then he quit the round. Yeah, really. Either way, with Danja Zone pretty on point and scoring with solid punchlines and wordplay throughout his 2nd and 3rd rounds, one could make the case that Streetz probably would’ve lost the battle to the DMV vet anyway. But the sheer idea of getting away from got you on the big stage in the first place and fucking around with roasting sessions and an unreliable tag-in, kind of says that you didn’t deserve to win this battle anyway.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “Whoever said this would be a movie, should come to events a lot less faded…we still trying to figure if R a PG like ‘This Film Is Not Yet Rated’!”
Recap: Both Marvwon and E-Ness have been in the game for a long time, so it’s a bit of a wonder that they took so long to battle each other. Still, here the two vets are and besides a pretty cookie-cutter first round from Ness, the battle itself is pretty solid what with Marv’s sanguine wordplay and witty punchlines working to effect when he wasn’t delivering shots that didn’t always hit on his opponent’s career. Ness, on the hand got better with each round, especially a fire 3rd that resulted from a consistent run of potent punches that matched his bouyant performance. Altogether, a sound and mostly competitive bout that Marv edges with a more well-rounded 2nd.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Why everybody bring up Diddy when they battle you?, like you ain’t actually work for the dude, and as far as the cheesecake my nigga…well, I’ve actually walked further for food!”
Recap: Jakkboy Maine, Nu Jerzey Twork and Mack Mel. Is it safe to say that the Goonies are making quite an impression with these BANNED battles? Still, this one was close, with Franchise’s stirring (“Got this nigga checking for bullets, Mack doing the Macarena!”) performance bars and relentless heat serving up a multitude of fiery haymakers throughout the battle. But helped a bit by a couple of elongated rounds from his opponent, Mack’s ability to consistently dish spitfire punches, flashy gun lines, crazy set-ups, flexing bully bars, urban storytelling and steely (“I raise the glock and put a stock in Franchise, that’s good investment!”) wit/name flips, edges him the 2nd and 3rd rounds after a haymaker-drenched 1st caught him a debatable there.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “Whatever I lift from the short, whatever it hit it disperse, the clip long as the last 20 minutes at work!”
Recap: Well, what an interesting turn of events that was. After DNA dishes a performance-heavy, set-up (“Y’all remember verse Ill Will when I messed up the slogan, when I switched the liquor?, well I could fuck up the Yak again, then I’m a different nigga!”; “Let’s see if you could manage a punch, where Rome at?!”) savvy, witty, crazy personal, hometown-friendly and punch-slinging 1st round that was so consistently formidable that it leaned on being a classic, “The Champ” just took all the momentum he had here against a 1st-round-solid, but drawn-out JC and tossed it all away. Weird to say the least. Starting with an episode of “What The Fuck Was He Thing?!?”, using the high caliber NOME 8 platform to “experiment” and bring out champagne as well as Tech-9 for a 2nd round “interview” with “The Champ” that was just mostly lame and ultimately a boo-fest. Meanwhile JC, clearly more confident with his bars then the previous round, just turned it up, dropping stifling punchlines and wild personals/schemes that were littered with elite (“When I up the arms, you can’t up your arms to contest the shot!”) gun bars and a boatload of filthy haymakers. Tied going into the 3rd, DNA with nowhere to go but up, delivered what was a solid round with a usual assortment of nice gun bars, amicable schemes that Jay-Z would surely love and a few witty personals. Still, with his opponent handing him an easy opportunity to win the round (and the battle) with a turn that wasn’t too crazy, somehow JC finds a way to almost drop the ball. The Pontiac, Michigan battler starting off extra nice and spicy with continuously fiery (“These fucking bullets will penetrate anything, they got no standards!”) punchlines and extra heated darts, while continuing to mock DNA’s rap style (and missing tooth), but coming close to blowing the battle with 2-plus minutes of mostly filler towards the end of his turn. Indeed, if the raucous Houston crowd hadn”t told JC that he had the battle won already so he could stop rapping, DNA might’ve been warranted in serving them all with champagne too for giving him the vic instead.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Bitch, the .38 special, like every class you sit in up until graduation!”
Recap: Spitfire battle on both sides as Dre Dennis and Don Marino drop a load of versatile, performance-sparked punchlines to make for a close and competitive 1-rounder. However, it’s Dennis with slightly less dry spots as well as a capacity for more haymakers, that gets the edge here.
Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “I believe in the ratchet, like I support her dreams!”
Recap: Fierce PG battle between Real Name Brandon and Jey The Nitewing sees the former (after a pretty pedestrian 1st round) dish a plethora of glorified mayhem that made what was looking to be a one-sided match into something competitive. But aided by his unorthodox delivery/performance, intricate wordplay/personals/name flips and steely flexing with his punches, it’s Mr. Nitewing who takes edges the 3rd (after a debatable 2nd) and earns the win.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Fuck letting a glock burst, I’m big, you big, let’s see which one of us drop first, I’m fat, you fat, let’s see who’s gonna stop first, I’m dying to go to war wit’cha. I’m black and Samoan, so go figure, you know what you need for that type of shit?, some more [Samoan] niggas!”
Recap: A gritty and witty Shotgun Suge versus a lyrically bent and punch-heavy Chess on an EBC 2 card that while featuring none of the bells and whistles that comes with a Smack stage, still was a dope and competitive match. A fiery, more condensed, personal-savvy and consistently (“Like you palming the ratchet?, I don’t buy that shit like pork grinds!”) potent Suge edged round 1, before a debatable 2nd saw Chess get more versatile with the punches/set-ups and performance-heavy with his–enough to match a hard and comical turn by Suge in which the Jersey rapper continued to make light of Chess’ penchant for so-called ‘struggle bars’. With Suge still up a round going into the 3rd, Chess stayed on kill mode, dishing heat with steady real-life experiences in his lines, some fire wordplay and other worthy darts to edge what was another solid and condensed, but not quite-as-nice turn from Suge.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Chess – “I’m Tom Shepard in a shootout, they gonna be mad when I put on…Jersey!”
Recap: A tight one as Drop 30 impressed throughout the battle with a gang of flexing punchlines that in addition to 3 fire rebuttals in a pretty solid 2nd round, allowed him to stay competitive. Still, for all his opponent’s flexing punch game, a more versatile Big Kannon showed why he’s been such a mainstay in the game, mixing his own barrage of fiery punchlines with some lofty schemes, rugged name flips, head-ringing mayhem and piercing personals/rebuttals to edge the deciding 2nd round as we can call both the 1st and 3rd rounds debatable.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon -“You are a Dominican battle rapper…who are you trying to be?, Punjabi Surf?!”
Recap: Not this time. With a growing rep for choking away 3rd rounds, yet winning a battle anyway, Tsu Surf couldn’t be blamed for thinking he had this one. After all, a versatile, performance-hitting and punch-heavier Surf (assisted by a Rum Nitty mid-round slip-up) clearly took the 1st round here and came through with a pretty solid 2nd that had its share of haymakers too. But well-prepped from the jump with a boatload of eccentric gun bars, feisty punchlines that mostly landed, seething wordplay and some telling schemes/personals, after a pretty moderate (for him, anyway) 1st round, Nitty would turn it up in the latter rounds with enough consistent heat to edge the middle round, before practically being given the deciding 3rd round what with his opponent’s aforementioned failings.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I got Champion status, what’s happening, get pressed for real, a whole nigger get revealed, had a whole neighborhood showing they true colors…like Pleasantville!”
Recap: Although he ended up rapping twice as longer as his opponent, in this 1-rounder from Warzone Battles, a pretty confident Kream did manage to mix in some solid punches during his elongated and boastful turn. But helped in part by way too many pedestrian bars from his super confident adversary, Nu Jerzey Twork’s way more condensed turn, a round that was enriched by a gang of rambunctious gun play, swinging mayhem and some fiery name flips, easily resulted in a win for the Gooonie captain.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “[Bwoh!] the bullet surfing, it go in the crowd, holding it down, biscuits, .3’s [tray’s], Golden Corral!”
Recap: Tune 6’8″ could have the record for tallest battle rapper. But in this 1-rounder versus Swamp from BK Battle League, there’s noting much to see as Swamp’s dope braggadocio lines, stinging name flips and heated schemes/punchlines easily beat back Tune’s performance-heavy but mostly pedestrian raps.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “You a tall muthafucka, but this 40 nickle will slow cook a nigger like a pot roast!”
Recap: “I’m a man of many hats and you’re just Sway on the Morning!” No discredit at all to Danny Myers who was excellent here, raining down some superb (“One .80 [180] split your circle in half, stay out my radius!”) punchlines, fierce wordplay and aggressive haymakers throughout his 3 rounds. But that aforementioned bar by Pat Stay, a dope metaphor when it comes to battlers displaying versatility with their bars versus being more one-dimensional, sums up why Pat’s 2nd round–a searing ode to breaking down n opponent’s style, getting mean with the personals, showcasing crazy comedic wit, dishing raucous crowd-pleasers and an ability to punch with the best of ’em–gets him the win after taking the 1st, before a still turned-up Danny salvaged the 3rd.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Let ’em know, we could’ve did this battle awhile before, but you can’t cross the border cuz’ you don’t pay your child support, poor kids, don’t when they’re gonna eat next, because daddy robbed all their piggy banks and gave it to T-Rex!”
Recap: The irony of Chess still being so young, but having such long-standing employment in the game that he can give up-n-comers a shot isn’t lost here as he faces off with relative newbie Zay Smoove in this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden. And while going overboard on the mayhem and rapping almost twice as long as his opponent, Smoove makes the most of his shot with a handful of ringing haymakers and hitting personals that will probably get him some views from the higher-ups in battle rap. Still, once again proving that his long battle with choking is complete, during his turn Chess offers up a clean and turn of fiery name flips, stunted wordplay and jaunty punchlines that with more than enough haymakers mixed in, easily beats back Zay Smoove’s aggressive, but oft-porous heat.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “I did premeditate stabbing this nigga…let’s just say I STUCK to the plan!”
Recap: Yeah ummm, that was interesting. But if JPTheEntertainer (aka Cali Smoov) is really attempting to take on comedy, he should probably do a couple of tune-ups before going against the likes of a battle rapper who uses jokes for like 60% of his rhymes. Feelgood Mexican jokes aside, for Cali there really wasn’t much else there and with his opponent going ham with the Cali impression, fly personals and scintillating ya momma jokes, this one was really no contest.
Verdict: Uno Lavoz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Uno Lavoz – “Your mom got a face tat on her pussy…her clitoris gotta tear drop and that’s that!”
Recap: Say what you will about Bonnie Godiva, but she’s certainly taken advantage of her battle rap career to do some traveling. A frequent league-hopper, here we see Bonnie on the Don’t Flop stage in the UK to take on Respek BA and despite a crowd that seemed to be more interested in jokes/personals over bars, the more punch-heavy Godiva manages to edge out the witty at times, but mostly pedestrian raps of her opponent in both of the opening rounds to gain the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “You’ll get a long cap over ya head, I hope this jock-strapped because he gonna need it!”
Recap: Dishing way better material than his opponent, damn if this recap wasn’t prescribed for a clear vic for O-Red. But then the unthinkable happens…Red chokes and never gets his lines back. And for a longstanding battler like O-Red to not even be able to freestyle, use a mix-tape verse or even recycle bars he’s used before is…well sad. Especially in this case as a uber-confident (“The silencer on O-Red, he’s like ‘tsk-tsk-tsk‘..like the stove ain’t working!”) , but mostly subpar and reach-heavy Gutta takes away a win he clearly had no business receiving. But hey, hopefully Red’s BBQ plate was satisfying even if this battle wasn’t.
Verdict: Gutta (W) 1-0
Favorite line: O-Red – “That’s Gutta Gutta, I’m gutter, Gutta, I used to hustle butter, Block nigger, known for the grams before your mother mother!”
Recap: Except for a fire 1st round that featured a wide load of haymakers from both battlers, Brizz Rawsteen versus Charlie Clips was definitely not a ‘crazy one’. And the Houston, Texas crowd–which to their credit was heavily tuned in for just about every bar–let them know it, booing both Clips and Rawsteen during a very pedestrian 2nd round and also reacting loudly when they weren’t quite feeling substandard bars during each battler’s 3rd. Still, nonetheless after a close 1st where a more condensed and overall potent Clips edged, this one was all Charlie as the Harlem veteran displayed experience in the face of a sometimes adverse crowd with a nice freestyle game, dished some well-crafted schemes and utilized his charming wit and lofty punchlines to easily beat back an audacious, but filler-prone, elongated, mediocre with the personals and pretty modest with the heat Rawsteen in the latter rounds.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I got a new AK and it’s about to strike, and it clap more than a little black girl that’s about to fight!”
Recap: A nice style clash here as Kyd Slade’s noted street talk goes up against Eddy I’s witty stylings for 3 rounds on iBattleTV. A slightly more haymaker-friendly, street savvy and unapologetically mayhem-lit Slade takes the opening round before Eddy I came back with a personal-lit, amusing and punch-heavy 2nd round to even things up going into round 3. And while the last round was close and gritty on both sides, it’s the slightly more condensed and steady-hitting Slade who edges the deciding 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Kyd Slade (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kyd Slade – “Pull up on ya block like a drive-thru, I make a order with mags, adn since nobody lives, we pulling back around like the order was bad!”
Recap: Impressing throughout the battle with some excellent wordplay, a gang of fiery punchlines, dope schemes and stifling personals, Montenegro rapper Random pulls off a modest upset, overtaking a filler-prone and too- reliant-on-short-jokes/personals Dizaster in the 1st and 3rd rounds, for the win in this 3-rounder from the Rap Skillz Channel.
Verdict: Random (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Random – “Homey listen, call me midget, I’ll be on a solo mission to run up to your door and kick it like a pissed Jehovah’s Witness!”
Recap: Had to go up against a shitload of brazen, highly personal at times and raucous raps from SammyWild 100’s as well as a pretty fire tag-in from Gauge, but a more condensed, righteous, witty at times, set-up lit and slightly punch/personal-heavier Big Kannon provides just enough heat to pull out the win in this intense 1-rounder from Go-rilla Warfare.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “Hey nigger flatter me and just rap ‘cuz you wack and will never win, I got the better pen, double the delivery…that’s a set of twins!”
Recap: This N.O.M.E. 8 headliner doesn’t quite give you the best Goodz or the best Tay Roc, but in the long run it still ends up being a pretty dope match between two top tiers in what was a much-anticipated matchup. The first couple of rounds made for clear decisions with a more pointed with the personals, (“I’ll reach for this pole, squeeze and let go, leg shot, it’ll be hard to keep up with half the people you know!”) heat-cocked and punchline-heavy Roc taking round 1 via more overall potency with his bars as well as more haymakers, while Goodz (who already dished a pretty solid turn in the 1st round although it wasn’t as consistent as his opponent’s), snapping with his affable storytelling while also fueled by rugged name flips, (“But you tough tho’, right Roc? Can we be sure?, you from the county, you not even from the real B-More, no projects, no shootouts, no knife killings, the county got big houses, gated communities and nice livin’, what I’m sayin’ is, while y’all run around believing son, ya legendary Gun Bar King, come from a place where you don’t need a gun!”) witty/stifling personals and plenty of boastful shiners would clearly take the 2nd round over a surprisingly subpar and mostly pedestrian turn from Roc. The 3rd and deciding round was close and almost a toss-up. But Goodz, who was hurt a bit throughout this by ‘borrowing’ themes we’ve already seen used against Tay Roc, still came through with a mostly fly final round making use even more swagger-swinging content, storied schemes and some punchlines/wordplay here and there. On the other hand Roc, with nowhere to go but up after a disappointing 2nd round, made good on his earlier prognostications, continuing to aptly take on Goodz’s spicy personals with astute rebuts, dishing hardbody schemes, witty punches, finessed wordplay and best of all righteous gun lines that edged him the round and scored the Cave Gang honcho the win.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Gun Titles? You don’t want smoke with even half of that, 50 round clip, hangin’ out this automatic gat, just know if you comin’ after the Titles, make sure ya ladder match!”
Recap: Eazy the Block Captain’s trap talk and real life struggle (“Since I was young, I came with the cig like my mom wrote the note!”) bars usually make, as they do here, for a competitive battle. But a way more condensed, wordplay-heavy, performance-enhanced and mayhem-inducing Nu Jerzey Twork edges this 1-rounder from Gates of the Garden.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I’m like Hasbro…the trouble-maker!”
Recap: Well, that went downhill fast. After utilizing a stream of nifty/witty punchlines to match Xcel’s more detailed and salacious wordplay/punches in the first, up-n-comer Sweeney is brought back down to earth via a more pedestrian 2nd round, before faltering altogether and choking in the 3rd. All this while Xcel continued to land hard and score repeatedly with consistently hot darts and bodacious schemes to easily take the latter two rounds and the win.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “But, I don’t doubt your pop’s showed you how to use a gun and click…but ’round here, wild life shoot back on them hunting trips!”
Recap: Here in this 1-rounder from Street Status, Boatshoe Holly stands out for his unique moniker and not much else as too many pedestrian bars ends up costing Boatshoe any chance at even beating a flow-challenged at times, but still punch/name flip-heavy B Magic.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 1-0
Favorite line: B Magic – “Hope Verb beat Mook ‘cuz you ain’t winning tonight!”
Recap: To be fair, I don’t think that Saint Mic’s flow is as slow and robotic as Stuey Newton would have you think it is. But other than the so-so impressions, Newton’s gambit on a lot of visceral guns bars, witty personals, righteous punchlines all coupled with a more condensed plus freestyle and rebuttal-lit 2nd round not only pays off, but more importantly gets him the win after a slow start from Saint Mic contributed to him losing the 1st round, before a dope and punch-heavy, but elongated turn in the 2nd helped the Nebraska battler lose the match. A pretty solid turn by both battlers in the 3rd round was equally potent enough to call a draw.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Stuey Newton – “You pop where?, I’ll sock him square in the eye, leave him sleep standing up…like a heroin high!”
Recap: Sure, Ace Amin was able to get an assist from opponent So Supa’s gritty/cocky stylings being impeded by a couple of slip-ups near the end of his turn. But in this gritty 1-rounder from CBG’s Battlegrounds, it’s still Ace who deserves the credit for putting in most of the work what with an aggressive round filled with hardbody missives, stifling bully bars, fiery anecdotes and visceral gun bars/punchlines that earned him the win.
Verdict: Ace Amin (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ace Amin – “You?, ain’t ahead of nuthin’, I, am beheading something, he be like ‘nah, that shit ain’t about nuth…’, it’s something if I said it’s something!”
Recap: 40 B.A.R.R.S. can make it look so easy sometimes, dishing intricate punchlines at a rapid pace without breaking a sweat. And that’s certainly the case here as outside of a slip-up near the beginning of her turn, 40 uses some exquisite lyrical dexterity to beat a solid and aggressive, but not as consistently hitting Drugz in this intergender matchup from Do or Die Battle League.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 1-0
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “You like .5 on a scale, misdemeanor fuck you telling me?!”
Recap: Just not quite enough. From URL, a fiery and confident JC gives opponent Geechi Gotti all he can handle with a barrage of gritty (“I’m changing everything…like the moment you found out wrestling was fake!”) punchlines/gun bars, righteous (“bangers, mind-blowing darts on the afterlife and fiesty lyricism. But while JC was scoring a gang of 9’s with some 9.5’s and 10’s mixed in, a bullish and aggressive Gotti came prepped with 3 near flawless rounds. The Compton spitter giving a gut check to his Michigan adversary with a consistently spicy lot of stifling gun bars, real street talk, piercing personals, low-down, grimy punches/wordplay, rich storytelling and vicious name flips to take both rounds 1 and 3 (call the 2nd round debatable) for an impressive win.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Look, I used to hold the shit sideways, I wasn’t feeling it, now it’s both hands on a handle, I’m double-dribbling!”
Recap: This Skytier Northwest 3-rounder sees a slow-starting Starr get busier and better with the punches as the battle proceeded to the point of even winning the 3rd round. However, by then it’d be too late as a gang of stinging punchlines, witty barbs and brazen personals by Real Deal in rounds 1 and 2 had already sealed the win for RD.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You have the intelligence of a 4-year-old, the only times Starr’s goes over heads is the more you know!”
Recap: Dope 1-rounder between C3 and Coffee Brown sees the former get plenty lit with wit, spicy name flips, some potent wordplay and pointed braggadocio bars. However, it’s a more versatile Ms. Brown, delivering more consistent heat via spitfire punchlines, jaunty personals, visceral schemes, lofty haymakers and stinging set-ups, who ends up taking this one.
Verdict: Coffee Brown (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Coffee Brown – “You’re a dyke, you think we believe you shooting when shit get tough?, stop the fuss, you pull a strap, that shit never bust!”
Recap: When not entrenched with way too many Daylyt references/name flips, King Los makes for a solid effort here in this 3-rounder from RBE versus noted vet Head Ice. The West-coast industry rapper showing off swaths of jaunty lyricism and some intricate punchlines throughout the battle, while also scoring here and there with some daunting personals and racial pontifications. Still, Ice being Ice, the Harlem vet with his vaunted bully bars, abstract polemics and sometimes witty personals stayed in the battle, even if he was often hurt by his own penchant to spout nonsensical raps along with angles that were completely ill-assorted. And tho Loso had his own bouts of pedestrian bars, pointed Lux-isms that didn’t quite bite and plenty of filler, after taking a loss in round 1, the noted freestyle emcee’s ability to submit more ringing wordplay as well as more steady and potent shiners (including some nice off-the-dome darts) in the latter two rounds gets him the win here.
Verdict: King Los (W) 2-1
Favorite line: King Los – “I got a gun so big…it only exists in battle rap!”
Recap: In this 1-round Battle on the Beat matchup from CypherCity TV, Bonnie Godiva gets a little payback for her loss to C3 on QOTR some years back with 2 minutes of lyrical ecstasy, rapping in unison with the beat and pouncing on her mostly pedestrian opponent from jump with a barrage of hard-hitting punchlines to get the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Either keep it PG or you’ll get Smacked like one!”
Recap: Rare is a classic round from someone who ends up losing the match, but QP’s 2nd round here, dedicated to his opponent’s choice of footwear, was a fire tutorial on (“Size 12?, well, I guess you’re putting your best foot forward!”) off-the-dome acumen and delivery. That said, a 3-round close punch-fest with fellow vet Young Kannon equates to a whole lot of witty bars, dope wordplay, stinging (YK: “Black Ice, milking you for nothing…that’s a wig voucher!”) personals and fierce schemes on both sides. But at the end of the day it’s a more consistent and haymaker inclined YK who takes rounds 1 and 3 to earn the win.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Ever since you been hanging with Qleen, you been acting way too hard…off John Q, the nigger SONned you and gave you heart!”
Recap: Judging from his smile’s and head nod’s of approval throughout the battle, you just knew that Snake Eyez kicked the kind of shit that the veteran Math Hoffa likes: gritty street bars, flexing punchlines/gun bars, steady in-ya-face aggression and little to nothing when it came to the resident name flips Math normally hears. However, after splitting the first two rounds with Math, Snake’s elongated rounds, quixotic personals and lastly, a surprise tag-in by Hoffa’s ex, Bonnie Godiva, would slowly lead to his downfall. First Hoffa, who has struggled with keeping his flow together of late, managed to stay in his bag with enough witty barbs, potent personals, steely bully/gun (“I’ll raise these two arms and have them kicking like a musty nigga!”) semantics, nicer angles and haymakers to edge a more condensed round 1, before a solid round 2 is only edged by Snake having the (“Morgan Freeman, Mountain Dew [claps his hands], I’ll show you how to put a legend on ice!”) best bar of the round. The deciding round 3 is a competitive and a highly entertaining one with both battlers spitting juicy punches, rich performance bars, fiery schemes and visceral (Snake Eyez: “Nigga’s have all those blind jokes, till they eating smushed down pea’s!”) jabs. But after already dishing a hard turn, Snake’s choice to go extra with a blown-up photo prop, unexpectedly getting his Young X on with a ‘Get ‘Em!’ roast session and the aforementioned cameo by Ms. Godiva would backfire as a Hoffa not known for a rebuttal game, would start his turn with a couple of fire (“And as far as Bonnie, you really wanna go the rhyming route?, you taking about eating ass?!, I watch your battles, you got other nigga’s shit coming out your mouth!”) rebuts before seguing into a plethora of nasty written’s, Lux-inspired pontifications and real street banter (altogether a classic turn) to edge the round and take the battle.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “See, what you do with your battle money, you go buy some clothes, maybe cop you a chain, so ya bum ass could look fly while you hopping the train, nigga, you real corny, for everybody that take care of their kids, that’s real glory, you can’t feed yourself, what you gonna feed a kid, a jail story?!”
Recap: Jakkboy Maine versus Steams reps for the first URL/Smack “Banned” battle and it’s a doozy as Steams’ crafty wordplay for the most part, competes well with Jakkboy’s electrifying darts and righteous performance bars. Looking back however, this one comes down to the second round as a tight and sizzling on both sides 1st gets edged Jakbboy’s more potent, versatile and consistent heaters, while Steams takes the 3rd with a more condensed, lyrical and gritty turn to beat back what was a less satisfying and elongated round from Jakkboy. And while a dope and competitive throughout Steams came through with a solid 2nd, it’s Jakkboy’s exhilarating set-ups, witty N.Y. trolling, fiery name flips and the scintillating execution of his bars that makes the round the only decisive one, with the Richmond, VA rapper getting the win by taking it easy.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “[Bwoh!] his name Steams, but when it disappear, who really miss it that much?!”
Recap: A fire, haymaker-drenched, Mexican-lit and (“Paranormal activity, I had lay powder down so you can see my next step!”) punch-heavy 2nd round from Don Marino serves as the best round of this PG battle versus Gunpowder Patt. But one too many repeated themes and a surprising 1st round choke from Marino along with GP’s witty(“You look like you got bullied in class all ya life…nigga, you was home-schooled!”) musings, solid personals and fiery 4-bar set-up’s/fierce schemes in the 1st and 3rd rounds gives the We Go Hard grad an earnest win.
Verdict: Gunpowder Patt (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Gunpowder Patt – “Drug bars, y’all know that saying, ‘Step on a crack, break ya mama back’?, yeah I see that shit real clear, in the trap, so much crack getting stepped on my mom in a wheelchair!”
Recap: If Swavatar Jack really was waiting to a long time to battle Chef Trez, it certainly showed as the Atlanta Battle Rap spitter came through with some fire (“Bon appetite, put the Mil in a Chef plate, feast your eyes!”) punchlines (mostly in round 1) and gritty wordplay to make this 3-rounder competitive. But a few too many dry spots from Jack and Chef Trez being Chef Trez what with a boatload to rich set-ups, fiery gun bars, spirited name flips, stinging (“You was bugging me for years about being Chef Life, I did the nigga foul, put up a ‘Not Hiring’ sign, when Jack put in the app, I shut the kitchen down!”) personals and just to throw them in there, a couple of fire rebuttals, just ends up being too much for the begrudging Jack to pull off the upset.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “We can’t get real jobs, a drug test?, nigga we passing scales!”
Recap: Unafraid to stamp her mark in the female battle rap game, hitting with visceral punches left and right all the while dishing some extra heat with piercing name flips as well as hard gun bars, E-Hart easily beats back a solid at times, but inconsistent Ms. Miami in this 1-rounder from Step Your Ink Game Up.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 1-0
Favorite line: E-Hart – “I threw her in the trunk, where no one could hear the screams, then burnt the body, in a dark place where nobody care or seen [kerosene]!”
Recap: Two talents like J. Murda and Fettuccine 20 should not be battling each other for only one round. But here they do anyway and as should be expected, they both put on quite a show, each spitting some stealth-worthy bars, spirited personals, lofty gun lines as well as displaying the occasional wit. A close one, no doubt, but Murda with a cleaner flow, performance-heavier and a slightly more condensed turn, gets the edge in this one.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: J. Murda – “Head shot…this the game winner!”
Recap: While J. Murda definitely got robbed by judges in his infamous JC battle a couple of years back, the feeling here in this judged battle (coincidentally, like Murda vs. JC, also on RBE) is that B. Magic got a little jerked here. A tight 3-rounder that was extra impressive when you consider that both battlers had only 8 days notice to prepare, after splitting the earlier rounds, while Murda had his moments via an aggressive and performance-heavy turn that certainly made waves, B. Magic, with a more consistent and of course, punch/wordplay-heavy framework, gets the 3rd and the win here.
Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Magic – “Fuck who I Disturb and this piece [Peace] is not Ludacris [ludicrous], I’ll leave him Smokey on the side of the house…’cuz I do this shit!”
Recap: Before we get the recap out the way, let’s admit that the ‘dunk’ on Shotgun Suge in round 3 by Glueazy was pretty epic–a high vertical leap with some nice velocity to it–that’s the way to get it done. And who said white men can’t jump? That said, despite the theatrics and some superb (“Don’t try saving him, the .357 is titanium, crack his chest open, I’m looking for vibranium!”) wordplay/punchlines by Glu throughout the battle, it’s a more consistently spitfire Suge who edges every round here. The veteran Suge showing that aggressive moxie plus sizzling bars can beat almost anybody, especially when he displays unfailing focus to go along with some stellar personals, witty heaters, hometown crowd-pleasing lines, fierce performance bars and potent (“Two 30s pop, son ain’t seen a shooter in North Carolina since Dell Curry!”) gun/bully bars. Indeed, a pretty solid, but at times pedestrian showing by Glueazy gets beat by a Shotgun Suge who reminded everyone why experience matters.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “If you do anything to that black boy they gonna have to nurse you, and I better not hear you making him do H&M commercials!”
Recap: As Danny Myers would say: “Yikes!” Yet, another choke by Nu Jerzey Twork, here in this 3-rounder versus a loud, hitting at times and aggressive (pardon the NJT impressions) Buttah From Da Block. However, a more bodacious, eccentric with the gun lines and consistent with the punches Twork does enough in the first couple of rounds to dismiss his final round collapse and gain the win.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Pipe in the sock, .22’s on a rifle to prop…you ain’t see Ketchup vs. Mustard? [bwoh!], this nigga Buttah doing life in the box!”
Recap: The 5-0 resembling Deast scores with some hot punchlines here and there, but when a personal/scheme/punch-heavy Chilla Jones dropped the acronym haymaker on his opponent like midway through his round, you kind of sensed that this one was over. And it was.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “And I just heard you had a drug problem, what a misfit, went through them 12 steps so many times, he broke his Fitbit!”
Recap: In this fire one-rounder from Do or Die Battle League, bar-wise, both (“‘But I like to name my guns!’, where I’m from you only name a gun after a nigga you used it on!”) Quban and (“Try to run, just know that I peel with focus, I’m an Adderall lover!”) Ryda deliver the goods with an equal share of killer gun bars, momentous punchlines, stifling performance lines and dope personals. Still, while Ryda might’ve came with a little more consistency with the bars and more versatile material, a couple of mid-round slip-ups and a surprising choke by Ryda hands Quban the win.
Verdict: Quban (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Quban – “If Brian got a gun, he better pull it, ‘cuz while he was busy trying to name it, I was busy writing your name on the bullet!”
Recap: Not that he wasn’t bountiful with the haymakers, but a surprising freestyle/rebuttal game ends up saving Cortez from a loss here in what was a fire and competitive battle versus Ryda. Indeed, after an entertaining, (“I’m a hybrid, Ryda [rider], ain’t no gas in the clutch!”) personal-heavy/name-flip and braggadocio turn from Cortez to start things out in the first, Mr. I Like To Name My Guns comes right back with an aggressive, (“They say no fingers, no evidence, Gary Payton, O.J. Simpson, I brought both gloves for Cort!”) gun-savvy and spitfire turn of his own that with a couple of more haymakers, edges the Goonie member the round. Still, after a spazzing-on-both-sides first, things settled down a little bit in the 2nd round. But while Ryda was a little more consistently nice with his punchlines/personals/gun bars, a couple of solid freestyles by Cor towards the beginning of his turn and only one less haymaker gets him a draw for the round. With Ryda still ahead going into the final round, Cortez really gets in his bag of haymakers, crisply working his vaunted ‘Shit We Gotta Speak About’ angles to ill effect with some dope wordplay, fiery shots at Ryda’s team, a couple of rebuttals, fire Spanish idioms and more salacious (“I’m flaming out the projects, banging out with targets, 50 sparking, Ricky Martin, this shit just came out the closet!”) punchlines/gun bars mixed in to beat back what was also a turned-up and punch-heavy, but not quite as potent turn by Ryda.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Ryda – “Just because you out of arm’s length don’t mean I can’t bring you pain, just because you out of reach, don’t mean you out of range!”
Recap: Here in this 3-rounder from KOTD, the unorthodox, sardonic stylings of Copasetic are lit enough to take round 1, before a seemingly distracted and ‘begging’ to be beat Marvwon stays in vet mode with some stifling punchlines and witty barbs to pull off the comeback against a single-themed opponent who didn’t have the wherewithal to keep up with his convoluted prose.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Everybody thinks it’s Planet of the Apes until they see I play Caesar, and I’m like Steve Francis, I ain’t come to Vancouver to play either!”
Recap: A ‘Priorities’-missing and (thankfully) ‘pause’-less X-Factor returns to the URL stage from a brief hiatus and puts forth a strong showing here against Jerry Wess with a gang of stifling punchlines/schemes, heated (“That Glock .20, long clip, it’ll finally hit his scalp and bullets will spit out Jerry like Tom finally caught the mouse!”) gun bars and some fire name flips/metaphors that more than proved that if there was any questions about ring rust, the Detroit vet had none. That said, Mr Wess was just better here…in every round. Using an entertaining mix of fiery wordplay, witty (“If it wasn’t for me, Smack would be denying you, with a nose like that, I envy whoever supplying you!”) punches and sometimes with the help of his friends, salacious performance bars that had the crowd roaring, Jerry Wess does it all while earning a 30 in a battle that to give X credit was still closer than the final score indicates.
Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “Just ‘cuz you never seen me before, don’t make me new nigga, your new girl my old girl, I was X [ex] before you nigga!”
Recap: In this competitive 1-rounder from Black Ice Cartel, despite a boatload of fiery punchlines, festive gun bars and manhood mocking personals from Viixen The Assassin, one too many dry spots from Viixen and a more consistently wordplay-heavy/witty/personal punch game by Showstoppa gets Show the win.
Verdict: Showstoppa (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Showstoppa – “And if I hit, the gang hit…it’s a party and we in this bitch!”
Recap: I’m guessing that there’s a pretty good reason, even tho this battle took place before his battle with Murda Mook, that RBE chose to drop this battle on YouTube afterwards: Pat Stay just kills Verb here. At his wittiest and punch-heavy best, the Canadian vet took the over the crowd with a swarm of too funny personals, mean (“Make him look like a little boy, like Jaz naked!”) barbs and spitfire punchlines throughout his 3 rounds, leaving Verb, while mostly solid but with too much of a bent towards lyrical showmanship (with little haymakers), preachy soundbites, 2 subpar ‘Showtime’ schemes and of course, when facing a white battler: race quotables that we’ve long heard before. But hey, with Mook up next, it’s hard to be too mad at Verb for not giving this battle his best effort.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “I ain’t got one person here with me, but look at me dog, seriously, If I kill you right now…when the cops come, they’ll just think I’m security!”
