Recap: Using some slick (“Fuck is y’all selling me Diesel for, [when] I’m already on Smack?!”) wordplay, fierce name flips and hearty punchlines, a confident Steams survives a sputtering round 3 to take the first two rounds and beat an overall (“Watching Ninja Turtles taught me having a gun so bigger gun…man that shit is wack, cuz’ yeah the ‘ooouuu’s will give you bigger shells, but it’ll also create bigger rats!”) solid, but slightly undermanned with the bars Diesel in this West-coast Traffic battle from Smack.
Verdict: Steams (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Steams – “I serve vets, why y’all give me this herb next?, I’ll bursts tek’s or you’ll get poked in the temple like church sex!”
Recap: It doesn’t happen often, but even being more versatile than your opponent can get you a loss. As seen here in this dope URL matchup, while Craig Lamar spouted a wider array of bars with fresh personals, punchlines, wordplay, a rebuttal and even a freestyle mixed in, a little too many dry pots along with the set-up heavy, dazzling schemes dishing and gun bar feening Holmzie Da God raining graphic haymakers on an energetic crowd that seemed into every hot bar performed, earns the Loud Boy spitter rounds 1 and 2, before a debatable 3rd cost him a shutout.
Verdict: Holmzie Da God (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Holmzie Da God – “Blade through his shirt and start poking him through it…then take another stab at it like I know I can do it!”
Recap: When the bars match the energy…well, let’s just call it a goodnight. A less ‘over-the-head’, but still potent with the punches and wordplay Nu Jerzey Twork gives the full business to a solid, but slightly hiccup-prone JC in this 3-round battle from Smack Volume 1. After JC edges the first round with a little more consistent and (“Bitch, being in the ‘hood don’t cover them lines, I’m a repeat that: being in the hood don’t cover them lines!”) witty pedigree, Twork steps it up, using steely name flips, gritty punchlines and fierce (“I’ll wet up every dry spot you been controlling with your pace, always chasing Lux, well now you run to something loaded in ya face!”) performance bars to edge both rounds 2 and 3. Altogether, a more polished and thorough palette than his somewhat redundant-with-the-themes opponent that also laid waste to those who might’ve thought Twork had reached already his peak, much less battles too often.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Fuck a glove, it’s enough rubber on the handle when I’m palming the grip Tommy, the drum’ll peel like j’aime belle ta’, pardon the French!”
Recap: Calicoe doesn’t battle often, but when he does he usually puts on a pretty good show. In this case, not so much as after going through of his turn stunting, he struggles a bit with a couple of memory lapses and has to freestyle in order to finish his round. Still, in this one-rounder versus UK rapper Raptor Warhurst, most of Cal’s witty barbs and fiery storytelling lines are more than enough to beat back the (when he wasn’t connecting with some funny performance bars) mostly pedestrian raps of his opponent.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I’ll slice your neck, put a smile on ya face, nigga!”
Recap: After about a 1-year layoff, Ryda’s return to battle rap is a sublime one as the babyface Goonie uses a consistent plethora of epic gun bars, solid name flips, steely performance bars and heated (“Knife in ya bitch weave, then turn it counterclockwise, I’m rewinding her tracks!”) punchlines to edge and beat back a dope and pretty (“Nigga, I will do a number on them arms like birthday punches!”) nice for two rounds Prez Mafia. This Survivor Series matchup, long in hype beforehand and well appreciated by a crowd that was into it throughout, stayed close and competitive until the middle of the 3rd round, when Prez surprisingly cut short what was beginning to look like another solid turn. Given an easy opportunity to get a 30, Ryda obliged with yet another versatile and strong final round that was laced with a handful of haymakers.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ryda – “Nigga, I put in some of my best work with this Nina…Larenz Tate!”
Recap: Battling over RZA’s epic “Stand Up” beat, Real Deal goes totally off-the-dome with some Wu-Tang references mixed in to not only flex his freestyle ability, but beat back a solid, but nowhere noteworthy effort from Metra Flako in this 1-rounder from No Coast Raps.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You in trouble dude, like your shirt, but I’m getting the W!”
Recap: An eccentric, but hardbody R Streez uses a well-themed, ‘real rap shit’ 3rd round to break a tie and pull off a mild upset over the veteran Reepah Rell, who besides boasting a crazy (“You see me? Mister Unruly, big toolie, you’ll be under Streetz for being a clown, It movie!”) 2nd round, didn’t quite deliver on his usual, consistent offerings of exquisite wordplay in a close 1st (that btw, featured a pair of tits getting flashed: ‘Say it again!’) and an indisputable 3rd.
Verdict: R Streez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: R Streez – “Real nigga’s bars, playing chess with your cellmate, but he ain’t even your cellmate…you yelling out ‘Queen 6’ through the toilet bowl!”
Recap: How Yogi Berra said it? ‘It ain’t over till it’s over!’ Right, indeed. With Kid Deph and Superblack using an alloy of fiery (KD: “My shooters is reckless, Google investment, they stock lovers!”) gun lines, steely punchlines, ample (SB: “You got any plans of throwing a cig in my face, you better cut that…unless it’s a Newport!”) wit and fluid performance bars to split the 1st round, after a poor showing in the 2nd round by Superblack combined with a dope (“Put your life, under this ladder…he superstitious!”) 3rd from Deph, it seemed like the Kid was on his way to a comfortable win. But with an able assist from his girl, Superblack’s unorthodox stylings and delivery showed up and finally left earth in the 3rd, displaying enough versatility along with plenty of dope set-ups and steely punches to win the round and score a debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Superblack – “Shit I ain’t even get a chance to scratch the serial on a ratchet, only a half the Gun Title like Free Surf!”
Recap: Audacious with the personals, fiery with the gun bars, righteous with the urban street dalliances and even taking a timeout to give a shout-out to his connect, a sublime Kyd Slade manages to put a hurting on a solid for two rounds Prez Mafia, before a 3rd round choke by Prez gives Slade the 30.
Verdict: Kyd Slade (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Kyd Slade – “You ready for war?, well, that’s how nigga’s should get down, it’s simply like a bus ride, you either reach for the metal or sit down!”
Recap: Prep survives a solid, punch-heavy turn by C-Low with a nice rebuttal and a couple of alright freestyles, but mostly a spirited name-flip, personal, gun-friendly and lyrically adept frenzy that overtakes his opponent and wins this one-round battle from Gates In The Garden.
Verdict: Prep (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Prep – “Wet his shirt like I’m trying to expose an informant!”
Recap: You know damn well Smack wanted to yell ‘Time!‘ early during that round 3. But give him credit for keeping it professional and letting B. Dot, with his first ever appearance on the URL stage, go on uninterrupted with arguably (the closest that I could think of was Arsonal going at ARP during his battle against Showoff) the most (“Or is this the same trick that got us boarded on the slave ship from that European invasion?, Capitalism, they ain’t change it, the old master say, ‘You niggas ain’t goin’ nowhere’, new masters say, ‘It only matters on this plantation!'”) scathing and blistering round you’ve ever seen against a league owner in battle rap history. And B. Dot needed every bit of his classic 3rd. Because that’s how nice the highly slept-on Emerson Kennedy was throughout this battle, dishing exquisite punchlines, fiery (“Are you really reppin’ they word, or just reinforcing the negative lessons they’ve learned?, when your community ask for action, are you…too busy preppin’ for Aye Verb?!?”) personals, some stinging wordplay and even a couple of fire rebuttals to take round 1, before being edged by Dot’s conscious, gun line savvy, at times braggadocio and personal comeuppance in the latter rounds. A fire battle regardless of who you thought won that repped the West-coast well, it’s good to know that with B. Dot proceeding to make a couple of more appearances on Smack since this battle took place, it’s all good now.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “Watch how I aim the thing and flame your scene, I turn your world upside down my nigga, it’ll be nothin’ but ashes and you ain’t never seen Stranger Things!”
Recap: Funny how nice Gwitty can be when he dispenses with the gibberish for wit and fiery punches that actually make sense. The latter is the case here and against a very underwhelming opponent in Badd Newz, that’s adds up to an easy vic in this one-rounder from The Trap..
Verdict: Gwitty (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Gwitty – “From zero to negative 10, what I rate you, you a Smickie D’s burger, Mercy!, I mean fake food!”
Recap: In a battle lit with hard-hitting personals and plenty of well-meaning mayhem, a righteous, more condensed, consistently nice, punchline-spazzing and dirty drawers spouting Danny Myers puts the brakes on Coffee Brown’s often cold, but unsteady polemic’s with his own series of visceral heat and earn the 30.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I know it’s foul, but you the biggest ho around, your baby was chewing on a condom in the ultrasound!”
Recap: Clearly more adept with the punches than his opponent, Pat Stay uses a plethora of ‘tranny’ jokes, some genuine circumventing of identity politics and a host of fiery punchlines/schemes to lay down the hammer on transgender rapper No Shame.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Deep voice yet soft spoken, right there for you when your heart’s broken…or need a jar open!”
Recap: Fire and competitive throughout, DNA and Rum Nitty both do what’s expected of them in this 3-round battle from Smack/URL. Elongated in the 1st round, but more versatile with his (“What you a Crip with your faking ass?, if you don’t wanna die just move, this an imitation crab [Bwoh!] now to try to process food!”) punches, at times witty and scheme-heavy, DNA does just enough to edge what was an unapologetically heated, wordplay (“Y’all the reason why nigga’s saying battling lame, ‘cuz we got 100 wack nigga’s trying to manage The Game!”) friendly and gun-savvy turn from Nitty. The second round saw DNA open up with a fire rebuttal and then launch into some amusing (“I need y’all to picture Nutty at the lunch line, soon as he saw the meal [mil] with the tray [.3]…he got a punchline!”) personals as well as aggressive punchlines drenched with a flair for bluster and righteous polemics. However, after barely getting edged in the previous round, Nitty would come back with yet another more condensed and spitfire round, dishing fiery, back-to-back (“100 in the clip, you getting 80 D…pay attention!”) punches along with steely name flips and more bodacious gun lines for that ass to take the middle round. The 3rd and deciding round saw DNA attempt to drop a few rebuttals to open things which turned out to be hit-n-miss, before seguing into a versatile turn of solid punches, gun bars and personals that were again a bit on the prolonged side, but still a hard go at it nonetheless. But overall Rum Nitty would just prove to be too much in the end, keeping his foot on the pedal with syrupy gun bars, more finessed punches, a high-level performance and even mixing in a little wit to take the final round, complete his comeback and get the win.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Let’s scrap fam, I’ll drop a bomb on a nigga from the Gap band!”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from Opulence Battle League O’fficial uses some spiffy wordplay, fierce set-ups and a boatload of fiery punchlines/personals to make quick work a mostly pedestrian Kai The Poet.
Verdict: O’fficial (W) 1-0
Favorite line: O’fficial – “I mean, I been a queen, holding the crown like a cavity!”
Recap: No, Anita Baker did not single the soul classic “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” song, that would be Aretha Franklin. But that minor error by Charlie Clips still didn’t stop him from beating the performance-rich and often-hilarious stylings of the UK’s Harry Baker in this entertaining 3-rounder from Don’t Flop. Clips using a series of fiery schemes, buzzing name flips, a couple of fire rebuttals, one-too-many-tag-ins-by-his-opponent in the 2nd round and witty personals/punchlines to edge the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “How about I bring the pound to ya face like currency exchange!”
Recap: With like a week’s notice Glueazy more than impresses, dishing a versatile barrage of fierce punches, fire personals, stinging gun bars and some real talk shit that more than made their point. Indeed, with the always intense, punch-heavy and in this case, even witty at times Danny Myers delivering yet another solid performance, it would take a superb, haymaker-drenched turn from Glu to take the 1st round, before a turned-up (after a faltering and inconsistent 2nd), condensed, back to basics and overall more potent Glu took the deciding 3rd for the win in what overall was a dope and competitive battle.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Glueazy – “Glu official, group of pistols, I’ll let 2 burn on you. Chris Unbias, fuck with the kid the whole group turn on you!”
Recap: Well, damn. For 3 rounds Young Kannon literally goes ham on fellow Chicago battle rapper Street Profit (who overall was pretty solid here) with a boatload of fiery personals, stinging name flips, ring-shattering (“You pussy and I’ll kick your mom’s in the pussy for having you!”) punches and gritty gun bars that not only gives YK an easy 3-0, but speaks to how preparation, research and a dope pen can separate the top tier’s from the rest of the lot.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “If I see paper, come with the metal dragging…that’s green dragon!”
Recap: Altogether an entertaining battle that the legendary Supa Hot Fire would certainly be proud of, Math Hoffa travels all the way to Canada to flex his versatility with a couple of rare rebuttals, some fire schemes, witty jokes and potent set-ups, thus making relatively easy work of the slow-starting, but effective in the latter rounds Machete Trevy.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “This shit is pointless like lifting the seat just to piss on the wall!”
Recap: Plenty of mayhem, fire set-ups and potent gun bars in this Southern Invitational One-Off between Quban and Kid Deph, but while Deph certainly had his moments here and there, a slow start along with Quban dishing more consistency with his bars gets the CNC spitter the win.
Verdict: Quban (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Quban – “My nigga, what was you doing?, your buzz was ruined, he couldn’t stomach a Pep talk, but think he could handle smoke with Quban!”
Recap: Bad Newz’s penchant for solid gun bars and braggadocio room shakers can work against most opponents. But with a more versatile battler and harder-hitting puncher in K-Shine, who besides the aforementioned dalliances, can also mix in incredible wit and performance…well overall, Newz’ tank just isn’t equipped with enough juice here, especially in the 1st and 3rd rounds, thus Shine earning the win.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K-Shine – “They 12 deep?, 6 shot revolver, who gonna die, who gonna carry ’em?, I’ll let these cats choose, ‘cuz whoever don’t die gonna be the bearer of Bad News!”
Recap: Chris Dubbs scores here and there with some nice braggadocio bars. But you’d have to be consistently nicer if you’re going to go first in a one-rounder the likes of Bnagz, who’s freestyle/rebuttal acumen and playful wordplay seem to always land when executed with enough pizazz. Thus, more than enough to take this one.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bangz – “Nigga I’ll squeeze and blaze ya, pound waving like ‘See ya later!'”
Recap: Don’t know if you’ll find a better 3 rounds from Fettuccine 20 than this one versus the ever lyrical/off-the-dome-specialist Bangz. An exhilarating battle from jump, with Bangz kicking at least 5 mid-round rebuttals with each receiving the love they deserved, let’s just say that if Fetty came with anything less with his A-game, this one would’ve been a wash. But no worries there. After a first round littered with solid punches and some excellent wordplay by Fetty that was somehow edged by Bangz’s more condensed and fire (“So you could save the chat, ‘cuz lately I showed nigga’s it’s levels, bodies on top of bodies and fetti is something that’s made to stack!”) punchlines as well as a few of those aforementioned rebuts, Fetty stepped it up. First there was a spitfire 2nd round laced with haymakers, that is when he wasn’t scoring with salacious punch after punch. Then in the deciding 3rd, more of the same rigorous (“You see the arms waving and the medal clicking when it kick, it ain’t a tap dance show, first a POW!!! and then ‘Bangs!’ in the air, this the old Bat-Man show!”), steeze from Fetty, capped off by his own mid-round rebuttal that seemed to surprise even himself. A solid Bangz, still competing hard with plenty of wit, a nice freestyle and another rebuttal in the final round, would just fell short, what with a too few many dry spots and not quite as many bangers as his more noteworthy opponent.
Verdict: Fettuccine 20 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fettuccine 20 – “The first step [pop] or I could raise a nigga son, lift him all the way up, yeah, I keep a semi by, [leans back] Lean Back, rock Bangz [bangs] better than Remy Ma!”
Recap: Plenty of gritty boasts, fiery street shit, livid struggle bars, rugged name flips and fierce punchlines in this dope 1-rounder from We Go Hard between Zeus Da God and Eazy the Block Captain. However, while a little lengthy with his turn, Eazy still makes it all useful and slightly more versatile, adding spicy metaphors, rich storytelling and intrepid jail shit to an already gripping arsenal for the win.
Verdict: Eazy the Block Captain (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Eazy the Block Captain – “See, the plug trust me, so every O is 800, it’s like my credit right!”
Recap: Once again Chef Trez makes it look easy, running circles around an inconsistent and to put it blunt, overwhelmed Young Smurf with spitfire punches, fiery set-ups, witty personals and of course, a handful of dope freestyles and rebuttals that warranted a few shirt pull-ups from the back from host Miltown Bloe.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez -“Everybody running off on the plug….I just pull them bitches!”
Recap: It helps when you’re a comedian as German rapper/comic/artist Ssnyic spouts a ton of hilarious schemes, well-timed humor, dope storytelling and witty personals/punchlines to beat back a raucous and punch-heavy at times, but topsy-turvy with a gang of dry spots Dizaster in what was still an entertaining battle from Toptier Takeover.
Verdict: Ssynic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ssynic – “So in L.A., you might be a big shot, running around like ‘Fuck It, Suck It’, but in Germany you’re just a Canucker!”
Recap: We been hearing about B Magic screwing up his legacy and choking left and right for the last couple years or so. But for a guy already on the downhill, who still recently “un-retired”, at what point does he either bring a phone on stage with his raps in them so he can stop forgetting his bars or just be done with battle rap for good while he can still save face? To think, other than a pretty fire 1st round and a few hot bars here and there later on, Magic’s opponent Clone, was pretty average. Or in other words, very beatable. Yet, after 4 slip-ups led to the host John John da God having to cut Magic’s round short in the first, before a pretty pedestrian 2nd lost him that round (and hence, the battle) and a horrible 3rd that saw him slip-up again after like a minute before just flat out giving up, Magic needs to stop getting mad at perpetuated crowd reaction’s and start looking in the mirror and getting mad at himself, especially if he’s going to keep wasting people’s time and money with these lame showings.
Verdict: Clone (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Clone – “Keep running ya mouth, nah it won’t get you hit in the jaw, we shooting it….for no reason, consider it law!”
Recap: Delivering verbal hijinks and stinging performance bars at will, D.O.T.’s virtuoso showing here against a solid, but too often underwhelming Gunna, results in a nice win for Brooklyn.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 1-0
Favorite line: D.O.T. -“I could let the Mac hit his bitch…Ms. Parker!”
Recap: If his classic (not just for the controversial and ill-advised ‘Kenneka Jenkins’ bar), haymaker-drenched 1st round didn’t prove that T Top wasn’t motivated for this battle with JC, then certainly his fiery and elongated 2nd and super-long 3rd (which even featured a cameo from a pop lock dancer, because yunno THIS once happened) did. And maybe with him tossing out everything but the kitchen sink, including wild name flips, potent (“I brought this [turns hand like gun over JC’s head] to press on your mind like postpartum!”) gun bars and some killer punchlines, Top might’ve had a 3-0, if not for JC being JC (minus a few redundant quotables here and there) what with a barrage of exquisite (“I’m no fool, but I’m on the street like Will Ferrell in Old School!”) wordplay, witty personals and hellbent gun bars/punches that were spicy (and condensed) enough to force a debatable 2nd and 3rd. Thus it’s the aforementioned 1st, the only round with a clear victor, that garners Top an appearance in the winner’s circle.
Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T Top – “My grandma told me you was coming, yeah that’s what she said, but she ain’t tell me he was 5-2 clapping the lead, a Vice Lord?!?, with a bandana wrapped on his leg, I thought Jesus ran with Disciples, ain’t that we read?!”
Recap: Plenty of hardbody (“I made money off the Rock and the Diesel, I’m like The Fast and the Furious!”) bars from Top Ten speak with both flair and grit in this one-rounder against Reepah Rell, who after a bit of a slow start, shook the crowd with some stupendous wordplay and fiery schemes. Still, while Reepah might’ve dished more haymakers, a mid-round slip-up along with another, albeit slighter slip in delivery later on, cost’s Rell the edge here.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I’m ready to rock, think Super Mario, we jumpig for coins, you ain’t gotta question the block!”
Recap: Intense 1-rounder between Swamp and Skinny Man Bang with plenty of mayhem, righteous gun bars, aggression, heated personals and blazing punchlines from both battlers. A close one with a wide array of haymakers, at the end it’s a more consistent with the punches, storytelling, witty and wordplay-lit Swamp who gets the edge here.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “You get on my nerves more than when I’m in a rush to wash my ass and the shower curtain just keep grabbing my leg!”
Recap: Tony D’s winsome wordplay and mocking personals (esp. during a hilarious 2nd round) keeps him neck-to-neck with Arsonal in this 3-rounder from Don’t Flop. But with the New Jersey native’s ability to stay sharp with a wide load of fiery punches, rambunctious multi’s, glistening gun bars and ill-mannered personals, a debatable 2nd and 3rd round forces one to make the 1st round, a turn that saw Ars clearly out-punch his opponent, the deciding factor here.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “I’m disrespectful, I’m the type of nigga that when you sneeze I say ‘Fuck you!’ instead of ‘Bless you!'”
Recap: Only an adept freestyler who happens to be battling in Chicago could spout a Rex Grossman line knowing it’d absolutely kill as Real Deal does here. The Pittsburgh vet using a gang of nifty off-the-dome darts on his way to handily beating a rapid, but so-so spitting Chuck West in this 2-round freestyle battle from No Coast Raps.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Why the fuck you got me up here battling a Black Milhouse?!”
Recap: Here in this one-rounder against a solidly scheme and punch heavy Pretty Hippie, a sluggish Qleen Paper resorts to kicking a mixtape verse halfway through his round and for the rest of his turn. Needless to say, that’s pretty much asking for a loss.
Verdict: Pretty Hippie (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Pretty Hippie – “This real rap, we respect Smack, nigger’s ain’t seen murder, ’round here nigger’s get smacked after they say ‘cheeseburger’!”
Recap: If you were long anticipating Xcel’s return to the URL stage, it was well worth the wait as you certainly got a goodie here versus an also impressive Stuey Newton. First round was close, what with Newton’s hardbody barbs combining well with an air of (“I’m a make this Homie look bad…Poison Pen with the microphone!”) wit and steady aggression. However, with his own allotment of stinging (“Plus, the ratchet lick Offset’s [off set’s], it act just like Cardi act [cardiac]!”) wordplay and more potent punches, Xcel was able to do his opponent one better and take the opening round. Despite a solid turn by Xcel in the 2nd, there was just about no way he could beat an almost perfect mid-round by Stuey, who besides a nice freestyle and rebuttal to start things off, went with a personal-themed (“You ain’t been carrying your weight, so it’s clear XL [Xcel] doesn’t fit you!”) round that scored heavy when he wasn’t already bodying things with delicious haymaker after haymaker to come back and even the battle out. Tied going into the 3rd, Stuey Newton came back with another (“I can kill nigger’s with facts…the truth serum!”) hard and righteous round, all the while flexing his versatility, however, a few dry spots here and there would leave the door slightly open to defeat. And Xcel did just that. With a more condensed, even more righteous and straightfire (“See nigga, they gas you, I air it out ‘cuz I prefer less pollution!”) turn that spoke to every bar literally counting, the Team Homi linguist reminded URL viewers of what they’ve long been missing, while edging this altogether dope battle by taking the 1st and 3rd.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “Can y’all feel the gravity of this moment?, I’m here for the death of Newton!”
Recap: Nunn Nunn’s debut on the KOTD stage goes about as well as expected, mixing in some mean personals, surefire punches and a dope rebuttal to start his 3rd round, Nunn’s steely versatility wins the crowd over and easily beats back an overall solid, but inconsistent turn from Aussie opponent Vega.
Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “This gonna be murder, let’s begin, you hear a ‘Que?’ [K] outta nowhere…like confused Mexicans!”
Recap: Making it seem like practice, Ryda jumps (“Damn, he insane, just admit it I’m dope nigga, y’all thought I couldn’t go line for line with him because he a coke sniffa?!”) on Big Jinya’s neck early and from there, doesn’t hold back, using frequently fire set-ups, some piercing name flips and witty bars to outclass an opponent who judging from his ‘You ever see a rifle with diarrhea? well, I’, about to drop a load’ line alone, never really had a chance.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ryda – “We know about your habit Jinya, but we don’t blame you, ‘cuz sometimes we gotta go to drugs just to deal with the stressing…but Jinya, the magic 8-ball ain’t gonna have the answer to none of your questions!”
Recap: Not privy to the history between Raptor Warhurst and Real Deal, but damn did Deal have a lot to get off his chest, using an elongated, but brazen, highly personal, witty, wordplay-lit and punch-heavy turn to rip a new one in the UK rapper’s so-so multi’s and more stinging punchlines/personals and take this 1-rounder from Code Red.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You try to check my pockets, your family will get your picture inside a necklace locket!”
Recap: Deftly using props, more prepared with the personals and all in all more direct with approach than his anecdote-heavy opponent and coming off a couple of subpar performances on the URL stage, a consistently nicer Brooklyn Carter gets back in his bag all the while spazzing astutely on a seemingly lesser inspired Gwitty.
Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “I ain’t take this battle because it was him, I took this battle to get under your skin and boooyyyy you’ll be bubbling then!”
Recap: Hey, it’s 2018, so I guess it was only a matter of time before gay dudes started battle rapping, especially what with the female battle rap side being dominated by so many lesbians for so long. That said, take away the annoying voice and Flyking wasn’t half bad, using repeated personals/pontifications, style (“They thinking ‘cuz I’m gay I can’t withstand a Bronx gangsta, but there’s faggots and fruits standing in front of every Bronx bodega!”) bars and name flips to score here and there, before getting stale with too much usage of the same themes. Still, on experience alone, one had to think that there was no way E-Hart was losing this battle and you’d be right. Casually riffing with sheer (“You look like your mom’s nicknamed you ‘Buttercup’!”) wit, nifty personals, sizzling wordplay and fiery bars, Hart was so nice in the first couple of rounds, that one can almost forgive her for pretty much taking the last round off and not getting the 30.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E-Hart – “He don’t know if he wanna be King or marry one, he don’t know if he wanna suck dick or helium!”
Recap: A fire battle that was close throughout, a slightly more resourceful, (“What the fuck is on dude menu? look like your mama used to just open you up and put the food in you!”) witty and spitfire Ill Will takes the 1st and (“Guy on the couch, they thought I was asleep before I extended the arm to smoke something!”) 3rd rounds here to beat back a (“If you even look like you wanna fight, you see these Grape street nigger’s?…you can get initiated tonight!”; “38. revolver, classic, that old dirty bastard, chin shit!, he gonna have to snap his neck to fit him in his casket!”) combative and aggressive-dart throwing Shotgun Suge on this Traffic 3 Smack/URL card.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “I’m supposed to give him respect, not in here, fuck him, Tyrese scandal, Will ain’t giving nobody that’s dropping tears nuthin!”
Recap: Besides the redundant Math personal’s, I was really feeling Charron’s strategy here. Go after Serius Jones’ penchant for dated bars, his rap battle pedigree, mix in some dope set-ups/personals and a few rebuttals (along with a rare mid-round rebuttal) and get an easy win. Except to Jones’ credit, when he wasn’t making veil threats at Math, for most of the match he actually stayed in there and competed, while cleansing himself of his repeated use of bars that were nice….in 2007. Still, for all 3 rounds Charron was just too much, not just for the aforementioned tools used here, but on flow and being more succinct with his bars/kaymakers too.
Verdict: Charron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charron – “In your blog, you said I was racist, that’s how I know that you’re lame, how can I be racist?, I only took this battle so you don’t get a chain!”
Recap: Fire battle from P&R 559 sees the young’un NXT hold his own against opponent Geechi Gotti via a boatload of aggressive darts, steely (“I’m from the roughest block, I went to sleep with my gun and I love my Glock, so yeah, I lie down with the head crack ‘ya [cracker] just so I could wake up, I ain’t give a fuck if there was crumbs or not!”) gun bars and fiery punchlines/personals. Still, an always prepared Gotti literally goes to town on the youngster, using some stellar wordplay, roundhouse punches, feening set-ups, some solid rebuttals (esp. during a spitfire and flawless 2nd round), stinging name flips and potent (“What made you thought you could bang with the O.G.?, face shot, smoke coming out of his mouth like the angry emoji!”) gun bars to take each round.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You been a bitch, I’m really Loc-ing, the semi smoking, double head shot, your brain get swapped, put your idea’s together like a semicolon!”
Recap: A battle (“And since Magic want to know who’s a new killer”) long in the waiting, B-Magic versus Ave finally takes place on the Smack Volume 1 card and for one round anyway, lives up to the hype with Magic vociferously spitting his usual assortment of spitfire punchlines and an also punch-heavy Ave delivering the goods on stinging set-ups, flexing wordplay and utter mayhem. With a more potent Magic taking an altogether spitfire round 1, the feeling was that we were in for a classic battle. But then early into his 2nd round, Magic started slipping up and despite eventually getting back his flow, his pen game was never quite able to get back to top-notch form. And with Magic continuing to slip-up while delivering mostly pedestrian punches in the 3rd, a way more consistent with his flow Ave just kept his handle up, dishing some fire braggadocio lines, sizzling name flips and personals to go along with a standard palette of bedlam to take the latter two rounds and get the win.
Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ave – “So go extra, that’s gonna get the big toast waving, a shell fed once the joint pulled and this Loc ate it [dislocated]!”
Recap: Tru Tones offers up some solid lyricism and a bunch of witty teacher jokes, but in this 3-rounder from UBRV, a more scheme/punch-heavy, personal-lit and mayhem-dishing Real Deal gets the win with by taking both of the opening rounds before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Your crew got more virgins in it than the Islamic afterlife!”
Recap: In one of the more disappointing Summer Madness matchup’s of all-time, Brizz Rawsteen versus Calicoe is a case of one fire round (Calicoe’s 1st), Brizz once again going way too long in rounds that were low-lighted by a boatload of filler, pedestrian name flips and personals that mostly fell flat and yet, still having a chance to win this bout at the end of his 3rd thanks in part to Brizz’s comeuppance on (“I can tell you ain’t getting money by the shit that your bitch wear!”; “Tell your dudes scrap or move back, or they gonan get the tek’s [texts] at the same time like Group chat!”) haymakers as well as Cal’s inability to match his conventional aggression with quality bars. That is, until a late (“My price is my price, I don’t bargain with nigga’s, from now on, we can’t eat unless you starve with a nigga!”) surge towards the end of his 3rd earns Cal a debatable…thanks in part to a solid, but once again elongated turn by Brizz. Still, with neither battler consistently bringing their A-game throughout, call this one a draw and move on.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Calicoe – “I’m the type of nigga that’ll front you, give you all the work and you the type that’ll run off and get your sister put on a shirt!”
Recap: Real good shit between Yung Griz and (“Drive-by, I brought something glorious for your troops, with a ladder hanging out the chopper, like I’m trying to save Morpheus from the roof!”) Craig Lamar, who both came with a plethora of spitfire bars, biting (YG: “Lift and spark, I’m looking just over the edge when I draw…midget art!”) wit, plenty of fiery punches and stinging set-ups to make this yet another dope PG matchup from Smack. Still, while the bout was competitive throughout and (“Nigga you gonna meet your maker, like you came with a warranty!”) Craig’s freestyles at the beginning of round 3 edged him a very close one, it’s Yung Griz, more consistent throughout with a betetr performance throughout and a little more versatile with some crazy personal’s mixed in, who takes the first couple of rounds for the win.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Griz -“This nerd tripping, the nerd in him, I’m serving him, dent in your glass jaw…look like the TVs with the curve in them!”
Recap: Entertaining battle between Cali Smoov and Big T features plenty of jokes, witty personals, startling sound effects and resident gun bars. But tied through two, the moment you saw Big Terrence looking in his phone while Cali rapped in the deciding 3rd, you got a feeling that T was in trouble. And sure, while he dished a pretty solid 3rd, repeating earlier bars in the middle of his turn works against him here considering Cali also spouted a solid 3rd without repeating himself.
Verdict: Cali Smoov (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cali Smoov – “See? I could dish it to him funny and I would say let that marinate…but the nigga might be hungry!”
Recap: Splitting up his witty roasting sessions over the course of 3 rounds, while adding in some spicy personals/punchlines/name flips here and there to go along with two condensed turns, Qleen Paper manages to edge a gritty and punch-heavy at times, but also a bit elongated and redundant Eazy The Block Captain in the opening rounds to gain the win before a more amplified Eazy took the 3rd.
Verdict: Qleen Paper (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “Face shot, got his body twitching like he streaming!”
Recap: Dope battle between D.O.T. and Dre Dennis on the TrapNY stage is only set back by a couple of elongated rounds by Dennis, one of which (rd. 2) he dished enough fire (“The tool spit, stoop kid, you ain’t trying to leave the steps, you never suited up…that’s the Iverson effect!”) gun bars and haymakers to edge, but another of which, round 3, he didn’t quite so much. That faux pas’ in the 3rd and deciding round would prove to be fatal for Dre as a solid and consistent from the beginning D.O.T.’s resolve for salacious performance bars combined with some nifty (“Adam and Eve, bullets like a forbidden fruit, how you like them apples?!”) wordplay, verbal twisting and witty punches with little on the reaching side ends up being the difference here.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “He won’t hear the Tek’s [texts] like a thot’s favorite excuse….it was on vibrate!”
Recap: 1-rounder from Don’t Choke Rap League sees Briscoe spit your usual assortment of rapid boasts and mayhem with continual flair. But helped in part by an opponent who was mostly mired in pedestrian punches, even with a few recycled bars here and there, a more versatile, witty and scheme/punch-heavy Your Honor gets this one.
Verdict: Your Honor (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Your Honor – “Fat ass, be sad as shit, always wanna play quarterback but mad when we blitz!”
Recap: The most likely point person in ‘What’s a choke?’ debates, overall Nu Jerzey Twork manages to out bar a mostly pedestrian (and admittedly drunk) Krillz, but not before choking away round 1 and almost choking again the deciding 3rd. Still, if not for a poor showing by his seemingly distracted opponent, Twork’s short-lived final round (albeit with a couple of hot bars) might’ve cost him this tune up before his next battle with JC.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “The gun dumping, if he tell you even a bit of my challenge then son fronting, my only competition was burgers…like The Chum Bucket!”
Recap: From South Carolina Battle League, tho he did some reaches here and there and rapped twice as longer as his opponent did, a cleaner-flowing, scheme-heavy and at times punch-lit Power Lines, helped a bit by a Swamp choke (which led to his crew having to finish his round) ends up with enough fiery darts to take this 1-rounder.
Verdict: Power Lines (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Power Lines – “Drive-by, shotgun out the window, you dead from the jump, ‘cuz when we come around one time you getting smoked…like too many hands on a blunt!”
Recap: The first female Proving Grounds battle between Fiirst Ladii Flamez and Jade is a dope one as Flamez’s sizzling wordplay, aggressive mayhem and intricate punchlines when matched up against the witty personals and brazen punches from Jade, made for 3 spitfire rounds. A pretty solid, but shortened turn by Jade in round 1 gets beats a more haymaker-lit round from Flamez. And while Jade upped her ring time, versatility, personal game and bar efficiency in round 2, Flamez’s shrewd darts, stifling gun bars and rich set-ups edges her the round and gets the Fiirst Ladii the win before a slightly more hitting Jade edges what was a fire-on-both-sides 3rd to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “Prosthetics with me, that’s just for kickbacks and all kind’s of grips, you’ll get beat with whatever’s in reach, like when ya momma’s pissed!”
Recap: Damn, where was that spitfire, 3rd round Mula at in the first two rounds? In a battle between two noted performers, D.O.T. returns to the URL scene and immediately reminds you of what you’ve been missing, slaying his opponent with stunt-heavy (“Treat him like an 8-ball, ‘cuz I’ll make sure, you are, the last thing I hit!”) gun bars, Bed-Stuy trigger-nomics and righteous name flips to beat back a solid, but somewhat subdued for him, turn by Mo Mula. Second round was more of the same, but even better, as D.O.T enchanted the crowd with more performance-heavy (“If I reach…Lawd, you gonna reach? Lord!”) gun bars and sizzling punches that continuously landed. Already down 0-1, Mula came back with some nice angles, (“You’ll get a wet back , with a Mac, like Thesis when he editing!”) wordplay and personals that would’ve made the middle round close if not for a couple of slip-ups by Mula. Still on fire in the 3rd, D.O.T. put forth yet another solid round that might’ve been even better if he hadn’t rapped for so long. However, looking to avoid getting 3-0’d in a battle many have long called for, the Mula that impressed so much in previous URL battles against Bonus and Ha Style, finally showed up, delivering a steady mix of fiery (“I had to renew the clip, to make sure I would hurt ‘cha, now my K go egg with extensions, welcome to Good Burger!”) bravado, wit and of course, performance-heavy heat.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “Catch me all in your bitch walls, all she felt was D.O.T. [dot], like she was reading in Braille!”
Recap: Dispensing some ill name flips and hard bars, Shyce makes himself a noteworthy opponent, that is, until a severe case of the slip-ups overwhelms him into ending his round before a rambunctious Drugz delivers his usual assortment of hardbody rhymes and performance-spiced heat to get an easy win.
Verdict: Drugz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Drugz – “Nigga, you’ze a lame, this toolie bang, let me put a round in your stomach, bitch, and see if you move the same!”
Recap: Gritty 3-rounder from Pit Fights Battle League finds the visiting Snake Eyez get busy with a gang of bruising/mocking personals, spicy set-ups/punchlines and flexing street missives in a condensed effort that manages to beat back, in each round, a pretty solid, raucous and punch-lit at times, but not as consistently hitting Murda.
Verdict: Snake Eyez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Snake Eyez – “I got a youjg nigga, with a blue face, he’ll bust a shot for me, I’m talking no more than a buck, everybody could get a bag like it’s Dollar Tree!”
Recap: Overall, an equal amount of performance, heated punches, charismatic name flips and sizzling personals from both battlers makes for a close and pretty dope matchup between the visiting Dre Dennis and the hometown fave Dex. That said, give Dex, who despite taking a little longer to get in his bag, but was a bit more condensed with his round and steadier with his flow despite a predictably biased crowd, the win by a nose.
Verdict: Dex (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dex – “‘Cuz you gonna what to who?, nigga that shit don’t even compute, Hold, Control-S, nigga save that shit!”
