Over 4,000 Recaps!

Mister Greco

Battle rap enthusiast living in Timbuktu

Shotgun Suge defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Synopsis: Good battle. And since Shotgun Suge didn’t choke or have any huge stumbles you can forgive him for pulling out the flip phone in round 2. Close throughout and both came with the bars (Suge: “I’m King Joffrey, I drop Rose before I take a step”; Rosenberg: “Catch him late night around 2:50 at the spot alone, he catching airtime like one of those Obama phones”), performance matched up and so did the aggression. However, while on bars alone I got the 1st round going either way, then Shotgun taking the 2nd and Raw taking the 3rd, Rosenberg hitting Shotgun on the tired drama that was Suge not showing up in Detroit a few years back and wasting bars on that bald guy in the crowd (while Suge went straight at Raw throughout), was to me the difference and edged it for Suge in the end.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “Go ‘head and win this battle if you good enough, but I’mma slap you if you choke nigga for fucking my footage up”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Brisco

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Recap: 40 B.A.R.R.S. makes a visit to the World Battle League and against the loud/witty/raucous raps from Brisco, still delivers a sizzling 30, using a gang of blistering personals, festive wordplay/4-bar set-ups and stinging punchlines for the win.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 3-0

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “This muthafucka is an illiterate, what you ain’t never been to school bitch?, oh yeah, you move that work and I believe it…you look like a mule bitch!”

JC defeats Gjonaj

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Recap: A rare choke from JC in the 2nd round still doesn’t stop him using some fiery schemes, ill personals and fire gunplay in the 1st and 3rd rounds and beat back the loud and boisterous, but often reaching raps of Gjonaj.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “I still spark the llama like Martin mama, if I reach, ain’t shit I’m raisin’ but a biscuit!”

Marv Won defeats Fatal

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Recap: Coming off a less than inspiring match against Math Hoffa, MarvWon gets back on his grind, easily taking out the bar-heavy, but mostly average and monotonous Fatal with a roundhouse of witty performance bars, fierce punchlines, braggadocio {“How dare you say that Marv fell off or Marv trash?, when I’m the nigga that the nigger’s you call ‘them nigger’s’ run they bars past?!”) citation’s and fully loaded wordplay.

Verdict: MarvWon (W) 3-0

Favorite line: MarvWon – “Dig, I’m like a Mario Brother…I got big off the block!”

T Money Bagz defeats Sno

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Recap: Sno’s oft-lackluster name flips, repeated gun bars and racial (‘When that cig split, it’ll get you and your nig lit [niglet]”) undertones are no match for the forever slept-on T Money Bagz’s substantial punchline game, confident delivery and witty (“Treat him like JC battle, y’all gonna find half of him missing”) personals in this one-rounder from Bar Wars.

Verdict: T Money Bagz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T Money Bagz – “I should spark the ratchet and start shooting Snoman like Django went to target practice!”

Ms. Hustle defeats Gattas

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Recap: Fire, braggadocio and competitive URL N.O.M.E. 4 battle between Ms. Hustle and Gattas stays throughout lit with plenty of lyrical shiners, witty punchlines/anecdotes and fiery personals. Gattas, well known for her comedic (“Yo, you a dusty trick and attention is like money to you, half the time she don’t even know why she fucking, it’s just somethin’ to do!”) acumen and appreciation for bar efficiency, kept it lively throughout the battle with a boisterous delivery that was further emboldened by a heapful of jocular stylings and piercing (“I’ll smack fire out of a bird and turn a Phoenix into Jean Grey!”) punches. And while Ms. Hustle was a little less condensed during her turns as opposed to her opponent, the ever-aggressive and raucous “1st Lady of URL” kept the pressure on with a gang of fierce bully bars, glistening personals and flexing punchlines/schemes. Each round was close and while Ms. Hustle had her bouts of mediocrity here and there with the punches, her ability to be a little more versatile with her angles, display some of her own wit/wordplay and land more haymakers in the (“You a dumb AG, you couldn’t execute this simple plan?, I mean when we met years ago, you was a different man!”) 1st and 3rd round coupled with Gattas’ penchant for filler in those same rounds, allowed Hustle to edge each one for the win.

Verdict: Ms. Hustle (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ms. Hustle – “I’ll bus(t) and leave your camp pissed [campus] that’s a college trip, no jewels [jews] so why stick ya [swastika] that’s a Nazi flip, Remember you said I was bi-polar? Yeah bitch I’m mad…nice, You used to be that bitch but you ain’t cooking no more, you a bad wife!”

Mackk Myron defeats Lynx Montana

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Recap: Flexing with some jaunty wit and fierce punches allows Lynx Montana to have some moments here and there. But too much of Mackk Myron displaying fire tenacity with the steady stream of hitting punchlines/personals along with several slip-ups (and a 2nd round choke) by Montana, equates to this being an easy 30 for Myron.

Verdict: Mackk Myron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Mackk Myron – “Shotgun open Lynx [links] up, like I’m right-clicking!”

Rolla defeats T Top

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Synopsis: Really good battle, but Rolla got this. His wordplay, name flips, jokes and gritty bars outnumbered and outmaneuvered T Top’s usual trap talk and tough schemes/bars. Having seen Rolla give Tay Rock good comp before, it’s no wonder he held his own here.

Verdict: Rolla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rolla – “I’m a southpaw, as soon as you step left, I’m Right witcha!”

JC defeats Syahboy

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Recap: Damn: If only Syahboy came half as hard (“Your wife a slut bucket, try divorcing that, she put me on to the neck, that’s a torture rack”) as he did in round 3 (“I’m in the street with the Tommy like Keisha tripping”), he probably would’ve gotten a win here. But by then it was too late as JC’s fiery (“Dreams crushed, it’s a wrap for Syah, that’s King Tut”) bars, steady personals, wordplay, name flips and flat-out (“What I’m supposed to believe he nice and ignore the fact that he lost a lot y’all lying/lion on Syah, that’s King Jaffe in the barber shop”) haymakers easily gave him the first couple of rounds. Still despite losing, considering he was a last-minute replacement for Ah Di Boom, Syahboy more than held his own.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “Welcome to my ring Syah, I’m king, the chrome will spark, Tony Parker pointing with the 9 (who counted that), that’s 5 rings”

Blaqu Mugga defeats TH3 Saga

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Synopsis: Stop playing! A Christian battle rapper who doesn’t curse in his rhymes?! Nice work by Norbez on finding this guy who’s not only unorthodox, but still able to combine hard-hitting bars (“So even if your boys gas ya’ like Blaqu came with the hottest rounds, that ain’t a concerning me, I done came with he brew boy if he don’t call on God he getting burned in 3”) with fresh words of wisdom. It’s just too bad that TH3 Saga gets off to a slow start with each round as Blaqu Mugga’s consistent sports schemes, storytelling, jokes and disrespectful wordplay (“When God made hoes he threw the book at your daughter!”) was overall, just enough to win.

Verdict: Blaqu Mugga (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Blaqu Mugga – “I’ll pop up, whistle and then the big shit come out like the Green Ranger”

Brooklyn Carter defeats Punchline

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Recap: Except for a debatable 2nd round that saw Punchline’s fixed cadence produce some hotter punches/schemes, this one’s all Brooklyn Carter, who uses a barrage of aggressive and gritty bars/wordplay to unload a host of bedlam and easily take the 1st and 3rd round’s of this NCBL battle.

Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “You don’t want this kind of work, you should clock out when I clock in, it only took 4 lines to leave him boxed in!”

Big T defeats B. Magic

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Synopsis: Damn, a battle that could’ve been so much better considering the names. And just when you thought B-Magic was on his way to an easy 3-0, he chokes in round 2 and had a couple slip-ups in round 2 to allow Big T (who stayed consistent throughout despite not being at his best) to steal a win.

Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1

Favorite: – B. Magic – “Besides your homies I ain’t see you with a bitch yet”

Nina Cruzae and Casey Jay [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Southern home fried cooking versus gritty, East-coast panache as Texas’ Casey Jay goes at it with  Brooklyn’s (“Everybody about to witness me put this star in a box like a Texas flag!”) Nina Cruzae for 3 rounds of gripping punchlines and rigid personals. Add to the mix some boastful barbs and flexing wordplay on both sides and you’re left with a slightly cleaner/condensed Nina edging round 1, before a more consistently spicy Casey Jay edges the 2nd round and with each lady landing an equal amount of haymakers in round 3, this one ends up a draw.

Verdict: Debatable 

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “Yeah, I’m Tiny, but got Mayweather hand’s…you’ll see how Tip feels!”

Conceited defeats Duce

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Synopsis: Not to be on the S.O.N.S. bandwagon or anything, but I just think you gotta be corny or just a hater to diss the “Slow-It-Down”. For one it’s an innovative artform that brought something new to battle rap (which alone should give it respect). Secondly, it takes certain skills to do it and lastly, when done right the shit still works. But like Arsonal says: “Haters Pivot, Winners Travel” and until you work hard and get the type of notoriety and mileage in your passport that recognizes you as an official top tier, new guys like Duce will forever stay in their lane.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “That bitch know I gotta have [half] face like the neighbor from Home Improvement”

Charlie Clips defeats Daylyt

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Synopsis: Charlie Clips proves again why he belongs in everybody’s Top 5 in this epic battle against Daylyt. From jump Clips goes for the kill, using a West coast scheme that packs wallops, speaking on Daylyt: “I run with some Outlawzs, that’ll roof dog, they crazy, let theey ratchet buck, an LBC crew that’ll stomp him, now that’s Kurupt, should I use a nine, an automatic or maybe the blade, whatever I use will push this bitch wig back, that’s the Lady of Rage” (Also: “I’m in your hood, I start airing the pipe, I hit these Crip niggas, make everybody in blue Jet without preparing the flight..”). It doesn’t stop there as Clips punches with authority on each line he spits. Don’t sleep on Daylyt tho, as during round 1 he more than held his own, busting genial one-liners (“You thought one call was gonna save your ass from dying, who life alert?”) and hilarious punchlines: “What the fuck, I bust chrome, I’ll do him in a greasy way, 2 4’s leave six eight, who do we appreciate?” that kept the battle close, but clearly went beyond the time limit (not to mention, did he have to spit those bars on Biggie and Tupac?). Either way come the latter rounds Clips continues to flex, styling on Day’s use of gimmickry, spouting rabid name flips and going straight for the throat with gritty bars: “I let that four flare, point the deuce, throw the beam in ya mouth, I’ll do the fusion dance with Chilla than scheme in your house”. While Daylyt still had his moments (“One thing we got in common is we could rock man, but I rest killas, you said a Mr. Fantastic line? That’s cuz it was a stretch nigga!”), they became few and far between. All the while Clips, in round 3, continued to spaz and show off his creativity, spitting tutorials at Daylyt’s ski-mask: “But now you just jumping on any nigga face mask and honestly I can’t take it, how you go from Schoolboy Q and Young Buck album to a battle rapper that’s getting naked?’ (with Daylyt ironically rooting him on) and putting the nail in the coffin with this haymaker: “You want your niggas to look they killer in the eye, I rather you look your killer in his whole face, so you could remember the nigga from the east coast that stripped you of your pride and your glory, real killas don’t need a face mask and I don’t plan on letting you tell your side of the story!” Daylyt had a nice 3rd round (“I’ve been searching for this little boy all night, we are cougars”), but it just wasn’t nearly consistent enough to compete.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Talking about you’ll give me the open hand, the fist in the deuce, and y’all believe him. I’ll have the one pointing before he get to the deuce, that’s odds and even”

E-Hart defeats Gattas

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Synopsis: Wow. No surprise to see E Hart put on her usual clinic: gritty line after line, mean schemes (“Nom4 I’m watching, the shit was a shame, crowd went crazy for your nonsense, the shit gotta change, that Tomb Raider thing was cool but it was lame, because Lara Croft was never the first bitch in the game”), grown-ass woman bars that’ll leave you shook, etc. But this battle will probably be more remembered for Gattas putting on her worse show ever, from constantly letting the crowd get to her (and they weren’t even that bad), weak bars, little to no performance, a slip-up and on top of that a choke–name your worst female battler and it’s almost like they over Gattas’ body for 3 rounds here.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 3-0

Best line: E-Hart – “On any given day shooters getting patient with that thing, yunno calm, mellow (Carmelo) just waiting for that ring”

Chef Trez defeats Automatic Ray

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Recap: Young rookie goes up against the older vet as Chef Trez battles Automatic Ray in a fiery, one-rounder from Spit Dat Heat. Ray, apparently motivated by Trez not giving him enough credit for putting him on, puts on a solid show, dispensing winsome punchlines and engaging (“You think your bitch is being faithful?, I bet if I meet her I can hit it, Street Fighter bonus stage, she gonna see the whip and try to kick it!”) wordplay with ease, while kindly (“You got booked in a couple of states, ok, that’s fine…but I’ve made more off these kids than Danny Myers at tax time!”)…reminding his opponent of his place in the game. Indeed, a solid round from Ray that only dipped when some punches either lacked pizzazz or came off elementary. Still, a hard turn to follow up, but Trez more than put in that work. Using some crazy (“Listen Ray, you can’t son a nigga that’s sonning nigga’s, gun will hitt’cha, for that bread, this square will get his head shot…Wanted picture!”) wordplay, filthy (“I was in the whip with a Smith-n-Wesson, with a dozen round mag, waiting on him to leave with his team, when I see him I’m dumping everything out that bitch, somebody gonna bleed on the scene, that’s 1 gun, 1 clip, 12 bullets, I feel like making a song while I’m squeezing that thing, I see him, now 112 [one .12] blasting out the car like I’m bumping ‘Peaches and Cream’!”) schemes, potent gun bars, nice set-ups and hitting (“You too aggressive, in the shop throwing temper tantrums, well calm your nerves or I’ll [reaches hand out like gun] 10 per tantrum”) personals that hit their mark, it’s the yung’un who shines brighter in what was pretty dope battle.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Ray said he’ll grab his Mac, dump it and blaze it, fat fuck, better off saying you got a sag lunch with bacon, I’ll grab pumps or lay Tek’s [latex]and bust, that condoms breaking and hit him with a K [‘k’] like that’s the end of that conversation!”

T-Rex defeats Cortez

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Synopsis: Who knew time limits could be the highlight of a rap battle? Of course, anyone paying attention knows how long Cortez’s been feenin’ for a match with T-Rex, with Rex rejecting the offer time and time again in return. Then Total Slaughter pops up and out of nowhere Cortez gets his long-awaited shine…literally on the spot with no time to prepare. Rex beats him easily, Cortez has to sleep on the sofa and now this? Two minute rounds on the main stage?! My guess is Cortez wanted a rematch so bad after getting slighted on TS that he would’ve signed anything to get it. While Rex’s forever-scheming ass, having done the proper research, just knew the short 2-minute rounds would work in his favor….and thanks to Rex’s gritty, but condensed bars topping Tez’s elongated lines. they did exactly that (although, to be fair, considering Cortez is a Grind Time vet, writing for 2-minute rounds shouldn’t have been that much of a problem).

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex -“Kill him in a charity match like Drago, I wanna see him die, we be shooting with his eyes closed”

Casey Jay defeats Boogie

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Recap: In this 1-rounder from Cartel Life, with neither quite on their A-game, Casey Jay piercing punchlines, heated gun bars and rigid personals are still enough to edge the slick wordplay from a topsy-turvy Boogie.

Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “Chopper make ya head turn like when a bad bitch passing!”

Conceited defeats Klutch

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Recap: All the way out in Colorado, battle rapper Klutch certainly displays an ability to do heavy research on his opponent, when he’s not showcasing some nice wit with his bars. But with too many basic liners and storied tales on Conceited’s prior battles that we’ve long heard about, overall Klutch isn’t able to overcome Con’s more consistently potent bars, requisite gun lines and linear (“Nigger, you are softer than a Diggy track!”) punches in this one-rounder from Colorado Rap.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “Listen Klutch, you know damn well I’ll make that metal spit, with extensions on a ratchet like a ghetto bitch!”

Math Hoffa defeats Dizaster

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Recap: After getting edged by a heavy (“What happened? why you want to punk dudes like little Mookie and T-Rex?, what happened last time you came to L.A.? where was your reflex?, when you got water poured all over your shoes and you got G checked, I guess you could say it was his first time in L.A. and he was still getting his feet wet!”) pontificating, scheme-slinging and mayhem-dishing Dizaster in the 1st round, Math Hoffa ups the ante on an already fiery punch game and delivers a blistering, witty, punchline-crazy and (“Surprised you ain’t dead yet, you be taking all them methamphetamine’s, do me a favor, never get blasted off of heroin, cause that’ll get you outclassed and out of your element, cause on Smack, you was the wackest that you ever been!”) personal-blazing 2nd to even things out over a solid, but not as potent turn by Diz, before doubling-down on some already exquisite wordplay during a just-as-dope 3rd (i.e. classic) that was also seismic on personals. Dizaster, who dished some pretty aggressive schemes and lofty punches/personals in the deciding round, was hurt a bit by bouts with filler and a little too much sermonizing, thus allowing a more steady and commanding Math to take the round and the win.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I watched your battles till your fucking voice was hurting my ears, I put the pen to the page, hoping verses appear, but this is why I hate Scrabble, sometimes I got no words for these squares!”

Chef Trez defeats Killa

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Recap: Chef Trez had to really earn this one as opponent Killa (who took the 3rd round) would bring with him plenty of banging gun bars and some fierce punchlines/wordplay to keep things competitive throughout the battle. But the always cocked and loaded Trez, takes this battle in the end, enlisting a boatload of head-twisting heat of his own when he wasn’t also scoring with fervent punchlines/schemes and piercing name flips in the first couple of rounds for the win.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’m out here, trying to party with tools, letting my hammer dance, you trash below waist, I’ll air ya bottoms…Hammer pants!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Biggs Da Proof

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Recap: From Showtime Battle Arena, a 3-rounder that featured a performance-heavy Nu Jerzey Twork at his funniest with a gang of witty personals, but also scoring with some stifling punchlines/gun bars would be just enough to take both of the opening rounds for the win over a punch-heavy at times and pretty funny himself Biggs Da Proof before a gritty and punch-lit Proof easily took round 3 with an assist from an unprepared Twork.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “If you was my son I’d be beating my kid, you’ll get a whuppin’ for every slice of pizza you get!”

Swave Sevah defeats Eazy the Block Captain

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Recap: Swave Sevah isn’t just bullish with his raps because he has nothing else better to do. If you listen to Swave over time you get the feeling that being a browbeat lyricist just comes out of necessity. Really. And yet another example of that is this 3-round versus Eazy the Block Captain, where Swave does everything from breaking down the authenticity of his opponent’s moniker to delivering his own unique brand of proper street ethos to spouting a gang of boastful punches/schemes to dishing witty and aggressive personals that often reeked with intimidation hijinks. Now to Eazy’s credit, the Philly rapper didn’t seem to be at all unnerved by Swave’s strong-arm tactics and stayed steady with his punches throughout the battle. But battle rap being battle rap, when it came to bar efficiency, damn if Swave didn’t kill that man.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “Hey yo, tell me I’m lying my nigga, look at E’s face, his teeth look like they got issues with each other…they need space!”

Jaz the Rapper defeats 40 B.A.R.R.S.

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Synopsis: So….is there really any more doubt about who the real Queen of the Ring is? Getting right to it in round 1 Jaz the Rapper lands haymaker (“Cuz’ to be the best you gotta beat the best, you ain’t ever had a full court press up in ya face, you battled Star, Imah, Norma, Dutchess, of course you gonna look like a queen  always putting peasants in they place”) after haymaker (“…I just hit 22, but watch how I bag 40. I’m in a cougar bar”), showing so much contempt for 40 B.A.R.R.S. that she had the nerve to call that her lightest round. Meanwhile an up-n-coming, but clearly not-ready-for-primetime 40 B.A.R.R.S. stumbles from the gate and spits a round so light that even Tay Roc would shake his head. From there it’s nothing but Jaz prepping the bodybag, styling on her opponent with killer bars (“I got a gun so big…..that shit don’t work”), a nice Lux impression and embarrassing 40 with Popeye flashbacks (“40 you fought granny over a 2 piece biscuit and some fries?!”). How bad was this massacre? Twice 40 either choked or pulled a Duran and quit on her rounds–to quote K-Shine: “Zip her up!!!”

Verdict: Jaz the Rapper (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jaz the Rapper – “Hit that bitch in the head with a bottle of vodka to show 40 proof”

Young X defeats P.G Skillet

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Recap: P.G. Skillet had some nice schemes and hard (“I’ll spin his shit back, y’all gonna miss X…like Christmas time!”) bars to edge the second round and put up a decent fight against Young X. But X’s versatility, a fine mixture of rich storytelling bars, requisite jokes that landed, steely (“And all that cook coke shit, nigga you can kill it, every hustler in here know you can’t cook coke with no skillet!”) name flips and some fiery personals, gets him the 1st and 3rd rounds and the win.

Verdict: Young X (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Young X – “You that nigga that won’t get no pussy, catch me getting getting pussy and be like….I’mma tell!”

Chess defeats D.O.T.

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Synopsis: Nice battle (tho someone’s gotta tell heads who wanna talk during a battle to go elsewhere) esp. for a PG matchup. Both D.O.T. and Chess had energy, similar styles, ill schemes, great wordplay and performance galore. Close throughout, but when you dissect the battle a little bit it clearly came down to who had more sensibility (Sorry Dot, but the Olympic logo has 5 rings, not 4. And “Gabby Davis”?!? Lupus being a “hair” disease?!? Really?!?) with his bars as well as who dropped more haymakers–that’s Chess on both counts.

Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chess – “Pop your melon while you sleep, you’ll be yelling, that means I blew dreams out his dome for getting loud, but that’s regular, that’s dot, dot, dot, etcetera, etcetera . . .”

Danny Myers defeats Dre Vishiss

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Recap: Even against a sublime showing from a slick-taking and potent Dre Vishisss, the forever-turned-up stylings of Danny Myers prove to be a little too much as the Bar-God’s variety of salacious punchlines and fiery wordplay are enough to take a deciding 3rd round in this dope 3-rounder from AHAT.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Since you talk shit, that small toaster rise, it blows your funny bone to the left of you, all jokes aside!”

J. Murda defeats Amzilla

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Recap: No doubt, as proven here, the veteran Amzilla would be pretty dope in a corner cypher what with his ability to spit plenty of nice off-the bars at the ready. But in a rap battle (while admitting that he forgot all his writtens), against the likes of a hungry J. Murda, going all freestyle just was not gonna work as the young’uns rich organic punchlines and relentless heat earns him an easy dub.

Veridtct: J. Murda (W) 2-1

Favorite line: J. Murda – “I got two straps, one I copped yesterday the other got 4 bodies, so basically I got arm to waste [waist], the other in the air like I’m doing the Nay-Nay!”

Couture defeats O’fficial

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Recap: A direct contrast to O’fficial’s rambunctious and at times, overtly emotional demeanor, Couture’s cool and calm mannerisms along with her focused delivery gets your attention even more when her pointed personals, fiery schemes, salacious name flips, witty barbs/angles and flexing punchlines get under an opponent’s skin as we witnessed here. Not that O’fficial helped herself much with a couple of very elongated rounds as well as a boatload of punches that didn’t always land. But after easily out-pointing her opponent in rounds 1 and 3, but for a debatable 2nd round (thanks, in part, to a nice O’fficial rebuttal) and a too extra ‘prop’ drill sergeant in the final round, this one was pretty much all Couture.

Verdict: Couture (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Couture – “You a fake, a fraud, a phony, on top of that your flow sucks, these niggers got you gassed, you thought your shit was lit till I stepped on stage and stole your shine, you Slow Bucks!”

Loaded Lux defeats Hollow Da Don

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Recap: From U Dubb’s High Stakes card, Loaded Lux versus Hollow Da Don in a highly anticipated battle that really altered the game when it came to how much battlers should be paid (indeed, when first talked about, this top-tier match was supposed to be URL, but as the battlers asking price was deemed to be too high, U Dubb would swoop in and land the match instead). Lux, dressed in Black Panther garb that would prove to be a huge theme for the Harlem vet throughout the battle (tho Hollow would spout some dope freestyles in response during the matchup), would shine with a plethora of rich metaphors, stinging personals (esp. when it came to Hollow’s alleged fondness for lean), righteous pontifications and hard-hitting punches that also flexed his versatility. On the other hand Hollow, with an aggressive, personally belittling (esp. with the Lux impressions), witty, wordplay spicy and at times scheme-heavy palette, would stay competitive despite being hurt a bit after having both of his opening rounds cut a bit short due to time constraints (apparently the two battlers had already agreed to two 5-minute rounds before an unlimited 3rd round prior to the battle). That said, slightly helped by utilizing less filler while overall coming through a bit more intricate, condensed and more pointed with the bars/personals, an also more haymaker-lit Lux takes rounds 1 and 2 for the win before a debatable final round that’s noted for Hollow bringing Calicoe’s pops out on stage.

Verdict: Loaded Lux (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Loaded Lux – “Baby you a star, they love you the way you are, but I love you enough to not leave you the way you are!”

Street Money defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Let’s call this one what it is: Shotgun Suge dishing barely 3 minutes of raps for a 1-round battle and thus losing to a more prepared, gritty and punch-heavy Street Money on NOC Battles.

Verdict: Street Money (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Street Money – “I’m a stand-up nigga, I hit whoever…up…standing!”

Reepah Rell defeats J.O

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Recap: In this 3-rounder from We Go Hard, Reepah Rell and J.O. kick a lot of hood tales, braggadocio bars and mostly in the case of Reepah, some dope/witty punchlines with more versatility to his lines. For Reepah, a couple of multifaceted turns against an opponent who overall came with a load of filler, gets him rounds 1 and 3 for the win.

Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I hope you hearing me ock, ‘cuz first you hearing the pop, then your top get pulled back, that’s a cereal box!”

John John da Don defeats Reed Dollaz

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Recap: The effort–hard-hitting, braggadocios, street-laced raps with a little wit and consistent aggression–was there. But in 2014 battle rap, where schemes, wordplay, metaphors, name flips, personals, angles and similes matter a whole lot more than they did a decade prior, Reed Dollaz really had no chance, easily bested by a confident and punch-heavy, but albeit methodical John John da Don for 3 rounds with a plethora of the aforementioned attributes that included the now-infamous ‘It’s in the car!’ response to one of JJDD’s more spirited disses. Include way too many pedestrian bars from Dollaz and even for a JJDD that wasn’t always on his A-game, a shutout over a Philly vet many consider to be a battle rap legend, still counts on the scorecard.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 3-0

Favorite line: John John da Don – “We was supposed to do this out in Philly, I would’ve came Reed, but now you getting drugged in New York, I’m a Duane Reade!”

T Top defeats Cityy Towers

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Synopsis: Chilla Jones nods his head at too many bars, I mean they can’t all be that nice, can they? Anyway, City Towers has some skills (“You say you trap dusk till dawn with your eyes wired, I’ll let a round flame your top if you a night rider, my con ride up them type riders, that’ll cock the metal back before another sentence, them typewriters”), but besides telling his entourage to ‘chill out, it’s just a battle’, he needs to work harder on his delivery, versatility and being more consistent. As for T Top, what more could you ask for? Street/gutta shit, storytelling, name flips, throw in a joke or two (“I’m gun pouting because I ain’t hearing you baby, I mean you barely got born, you a miracle baby”) to keep the levity all the while dropping more consistently tight bars. In other words, Carolina all day.

Verdict: T Top (W) 3-0

Best line: T Top – “16’s will put him in a box, that’s a Pro Tool, I’m still Chuck E. when I’m Fresh, I bust the dope moves!”

T-Rex defeats Big T

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Recap: A 1-rounder from the Road To Total Slaughter tournament, T-Rex delivers a beating on an inconsistent and flow-challenged Big T, wilding on the Chicago vet with a gang of rapid-fire/gritty/hardbody punchlines to handily get the win.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “Silencer, sound like the Uzi trying to tip-toe, he dead, I’m a keep fucking going like a nympho!”

Showoff defeats Tre Awthenicc

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Recap: Speed rap is cool, but when it gets to the point that people are having a hard time understanding your bars, you might wanna slow it down a little bit. I got Showoff edging rounds 1 and 3 here, but Tre Awthenicc definitely has bars and could be somebody to look out for in the future if he goes 55 instead of 90 and adds more dimensions to his raps.

Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Showoff – “Are you moving rock? Cuz’ from the looks of it nigga you don’t get no cash…without a doubt you gotta quit showing out Roscoe Dash”

JC defeats Prince Lord

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Recap: Feasting with fiery schemes, lofty name flips, some witty barbs and gritty gun bars/punchlines, in this 1-rounder from Gorilla Warfare, a more consistently potent JC does enough to fight past a solid, but often pedestrian showing by Big T homie Prince Lord.

Verdict: JC (W) 1-0

Favorite line: JC – “What’s poppin’?, I heard y’all known for drama, well, we roll with llama’s, bis ass ratchet’s, yunno, the kind you can’t take home to mama!”

Qleen Paper and Arsonal da Rebel [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: In this solid 3-rounder from Black Ice Cartel, Arsonal does a mean Qleen Paper impression and had his moments (“The closest you’ll ever get to being King is Tekken 4!”) bar-wise, but way too many reaches and pedestrian lines hurts da Rebel in the long run versus a Queen hellbent on talking past beef with Detroit rappers when he wasn’t tossing out a nice assortment of gang-related personals and lucid boasts/punchlines. Still, as challenging as this battle was when it came to mediocre punches, it had its share of comical stylings from both battlers and stayed close throughout, leaving us with a slightly more versatile Ars taking the 1st round, before a more consistently potent Qleen edges the 2nd, before the two, pretty equal on bar efficiency, turn out a draw in the deciding 3rd.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “Fuck that, I ain’t bring no 9’s and shit, I got a scope so I can find a hit, y’all know how it go, the softest grape on the vine get bit!”

Head Ice defeats T-Rex

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Recap: A couple of things of note with this Quiet Room battle: considering their long and renowned history, one would think that a long-anticipated battle between Harlemnites T-Rex and Head Ice would take place on a bigger stage, much less for 3 rounds instead of 1. And while Rex came with his typical ‘grown man’ (“Even silencers is loud when you in a Quiet room”) bars, taking into account the alleged backstory between these two, one would think he’d have a lot more to spout off than the roughly 3 minutes he barely gave you here (plus too, this was a one-round, unlimited). As for Ice, it was all there, steady painting pictures with a round of linear bars, brash (“Know your roley, I provide niggas, I’m bamboo strapped, I don’t speak ‘cuz I know the witnesses gonna tell ’em everything they need once my hand go back”) wordplay, jokes and some amiable personals mixed in to calmly and collectively cop the win.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Head Ice – “Your mouth spoke on more metals than Gabby nigga”

Real Deal defeats ZitroTheGreat

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Recap: From Homegrown Battleground, a solid, rapid-punching effort for 3 rounds from ZitroTheGreat gets blown to pieces by a steadily mocking, scheme-lit, casually witty, personal and punch-heavy Real Deal, giving the latter the 30.

Verdict: Real Deal (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Real Deal – “Since you’re Puerto-Rican homie I’ll whip the blade out for ya, if you a product of your environment you’re made by Goya!”

Goodz defeats Aye Verb

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Recap: Aye Verb gets line of the night (see below), but that’s still not enough to beat back a (“Ask about my background, pistol dumpin’, believe me nigga you gon’ get what you don’t want if this cat fish [Catfish] for somethin’!”) punch-heavy, swaggalicious with the boasts and witty with the personals Goodz in this N.O.M.E. IV, 3-rounder from Smack. Goodz, amped from the jump on out-barring his opponent, faced some steady comp lyric-wise from the St. Louis-repping vet. But besides a debatable 2nd round, a couple of inconsistent turns by Verb in both the 1st and 3rd didn’t help matters, thus helping a righteously snapping throughout Goodz (who on Jadakiss reactions alone, won this battle) to the win.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “I ride up on this nigga while he chillin’ on the weekend, creepin’, seat back, iron low like I’m anemic!”

Brizz Rawsteen defeats Young X

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Recap: Brizz Rawsteen versus Young X comes down to who the better 2nd round. As thanks in part to a lackluster second half of what was a quality (“You the type to get mad at’cha bitch, try to punch her out, but you ain’t punch that nigga who took ya tray when CO’s was passing lunches out!”) first round by X, but mostly due to Rawsteen’s righteous (“I mean they tried everything, telling me this bitch was a thug, then they tried switching it up, said he was flipping them drugs, [but] that ain’t convincing enough, we only seen X with O’s when it’s kisses and hugs!”) name flips, rich performance bars and a couple of (“Dirty nigga’s, how they compare smiel quality to God kind of speed, I’m a prodigy, my mom’s kind of deep, to kill the daughter in front of the boss…Godfather 3!”) haymakers, it’s Brizz who clearly takes round one. While X, thanks in part to a short round by Brizz that included a huge slip-up, but mostly due to the fiery versatility he displayed–that included some dope (“And I got a knife called ‘eyewitness’, because it SAW a nigga’s face!”) wordplay/double entendre’s, crazy punchlines, a hilarious roasting session and raucous (“…all y’all know he hang with a bunch if stupid nigga;s, they think he going to heaven because they buried him in True Religion!”) comedic timing–it’s X who clearly took the 3rd. All said, a dope middle round from both (Young X: “…nigga you’ll be like a flat spare tire, you’ll be in the trunk for nothing!”; Brizz: “I come with the best raps, that’s just facts, I got it figured out, you trying to get it out, but good shit is what X lacks [Ex-Lax]!”), but it’s Brizz who edges it with more quality punchlines, nice set-ups/name flips and an overall better performance.

Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “They think I’m joking with Charlie, I get silly with Clips..then aim right for ya baby, Gillie the Kid!”

Mark Miner defeats Tez

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Recap: Nice battle between Mark Miner and Tez. Close throughout with Miner spitting a dope 1st round (“Wash who you push up on, before we do our homework, find his home, rush in the door liek we late for work, toolies squirt, gotta blaze his top, casual shirt, when I address a nigga it’s always business first”)to take the early lead, while Tez straight (“I be cool, then I throw angry punches, that’s a mood swing”) spazzed in the 3rd to easily take that round. Thought it came down to the second with Miner edging it with better personals (“You a comedian, we battle rapping, which makes you Chocolate Drop, you be out here on some joking shit”), delivery and wordplay.

Verdict: mark Miner (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Mark Miner – “You still got time to chill because you got depressing battles”

Dre Dennis defeats Ray Stizzy

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Recap: Thank goodness for Dre Dennis, as his ability to dish way more consistent punches and righteous (“If we went to school together, I would’ve took your lunch money, and stuffed him in a trash can like ‘You know I’m fat bitch, don’t run from me!”) bully bars, gives him the fortitude to survive an elongated round of mostly filler and standard bars from an aggressive Ray Stizzy. What with host Uno Lavos dick-riding even Stizzy’s most routine bars, that kind of gassing still didn’t take away from an easy win for Dennis.

Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “Every time I see him I’ll give him a buck like little dude across the street!”

Teewhy defeats Smooth

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Recap: Battle of the braggadocio bars in this intergender matchup between Teewhy and Smooth. Harlem’s Smooth, who I don’t recall seeing on QOTR or any other battle leagues period, represented well and came hard with some aggressive (“You see me, you see P and the God Arty, I’ll put blood here and blood there, like a Piru party!”) wordplay and solid punches throughout her turn. But compared to Teewhy’s more consistent flow, fiery (“Feeling froggy, should’ve leaped. leave ’em froggy like Malignaggi when Porter put him to sleep!”) punchlines and heavier bar quotient, it’s the Jersey newcomer who gets this one.

Verdict: Teewhy (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Teewhy – “Mt shit infectious, spread it and I need a Benydril, you ain’t a fraction of my .6, so how could you half as ill?”

Xcel defeats CT

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Recap: A couple of shining (“My nigga, I go the damn distance they knew it was a ‘G’ as soon as I stepped in, that’s a grand entrance”) moments from CT, but Xcel’s pen (“You? Kill me? Nigga you got that fucked up, that shit’s like a leather clover leaf, that’s some tough luck”) game, exquisite wordplay, gun (“That beer belly, says you like having cans to the mouth…”) bars and rich schemes were just too much to overcome here.

Verdict: Xcel (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Xcel – “I know you like, ‘C3’? Yeah that’s what I name my pistol clown, ‘cuz she small and black, and she keep Official rounds”

Jakkboy Maine defeats ALR Tone

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Recap: Tru Life lookalike ALR Tone is (“Nigga, only ratchet you got is your new bitch!”) opportunistic at times, but for the most part lacks the ingenuity bar-wise to beat the nifty wordplay and speakeasy hand (“These two [balls fists] is like saying your grace, they come together just to make your head nod!”) gestures of Jakkboy Maine in this 3-rounder from Supreme Battle League.

Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “Flow like dropping shells in the snow, I got the coldest round!”

Presidential Dubz defeats Aura

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Recap: While bar lovers will like this one, for Aura anyway, too many of his speedy darts had a standard, generic feel that could’ve been thrown at anybody. Thus, Presidential Dubz with more variety to his performance, including some nice name flips and yes, even some paperwork, edged the 1st and 3rd rounds to take it in the end.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “He a lost nigga trying to find himself…I see the maze in you!”

Rosenberg Raw defeats Skelly

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Synopsis: Come-from-behind vet Rosenberg Raw does it again taking an ‘L’ in round 1, but stepping up that straight gangsta shit (“You wanna why I said you a bitch? because I said you is”) in the latter rounds to clearly take the win in his 1st KOTD appearance.

Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1

Best line: Rosenberg Raw – “But I’m the type to fuck your girl right in front of you, I get real greasy on her, [while] you standing in the corner like ‘Raw, take it easy on her'”

Tay Roc defeats Charlie Clips (Rematch)

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Recap: When Tay Roc got 3-0’d in the first battle between him and Charlie Clips, the biggest critique for Roc might’ve been his lack of aggression throughout the match. A big surprise considering that outside of that now classic battle, the legendary Baltimore, MD, spitter’s aggressive flow has almost never been called into question. And that’s the case here in this long-awaited rematch between Roc Clips that fires on all cylinders when it comes to not only Roc’s assertiveness, but also on a whole standout lyricism, heated gun bars, dope schemes (from both battlers), fierce punchlines, fly wordplay, crafty wit, shout-out’s to Clips’ grandma and of course, fiery lines concerning their previous (btw, nice move by Smack to bring Loaded Lux up the stage before the start of the battle in a salute to Lux’s old Lion’s Den, which is where these two first faced off) encounter. That said, with both battlers having gained so much experience and star power since their first meeting, it’s only right that they brought their A-game and that this rematch goes into the 3rd tied (what with a punch-heavier Roc edging the 1st round, while a more personal and creative storytelling Clips edged the 2nd)/ And it’s Roc who edges a close 3rd here, getting some major payback via a slightly more consistent turn with the heat, more condensed when taking in account an equal amount of haymakers from both battlers and less bent than his opponent on the usage of redundant personals. Either way, a spitfire battle altogether and one can only hope for a Part 3 to take place sooner than later.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Fuck you, this rematch unnecessary, who’s the legend?,beating me is what made you legendary!, Charlie get hit with the 1st and then the secondary, then DNA get the business like its hereditary!”

Vizz da Outlaw defeats Dougy

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Recap: When he wasn’t spitting some pedestrian bars, Vizz da Outlaw’s arsenal of lofty (“Nigga, I’m ignorant, I just had to let you know, so there’s no confusion here, with that being said…I’m a run up on his mother with DE and a AR, liek ‘Excuse me Dear!”) gun lines and schematic jokes proved to be more than enough to beat an often lethargic and ill-prepared Dougy.

Verdict: Vizz Da Outlaw (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Vizz da Outlaw – “Nigga, my weaponry is legendary [raises each arm like a gun], I’m taking Dr. King, brother Malcolm, this one will catch you dreaming and this one will ask you out by any means necessary!”

Emerson Kennedy defeats B.Side

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Recap: As if the annoying chick screaming throughout this battle wasn’t enough, what you get here is a mostly average Emerson Kennedy against a confident and (“…nigga, I said a double-burger with cheese!”) bullish, but a little slip-up prone B.Side. Still, EK with some sizzling name flips and staid schemes/set-ups, takes the 1st and 3rd rounds easy for the win.

Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “I had to earn my right type spitting, Facebook, B.side, green light whats what they like to type in it, but we see B.Side, green light and he slight tripping, the scope see nothing B.side green light’s like night vision!”

T-Rex defeats Cortez

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Recap: Mayhem-lit, gritty and hard-hitting with the punchlines, in this 1-round Wild card battle from the Road to Total Slaughter tourney, T-Rex makes easy work of a mostly pedestrian and flow-challenged Cortez.

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T-Rex – “‘Cuz you work at the airport don’t mean you let nothing fly!”

R Streetz defeats Incredible BA

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Recap: Way more intricate with the bars and scoring at will with the fiery wordplay, a rampant R Streetz beats back a solid and witty showing by Incredible BA in this one-rounder from SDH TrainingDay.

Verdict: R Streetz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: R Streetz – “This a bag, he ain’t fucking with me, what’d you think would happen when you put BA in front of a ‘G’!”

Ave defeats Steams

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Recap: Besides both rappers choking in round 2 (I gave it Steams because he went a little longer that Ave did) and Steams struggling at times with his flow and tepid reaches, Ave easily takes the 1st and 3rd rounds of this matchup with more consistent punches mixed in with some stirring personals and better overall wordplay.

Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ave – “Fame got you thinking you hot, watch how this flame rock you, you couldn’t handle lines this raw with a Rick James nostril!”

DNA defeats Celebrity Cell

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Recap: Getting some prep in before his Ill Will battle, DNA uses a gang of flexing punchlines, on point freestyles, fierce schemes/personals and piercing name flips to sneak past a loud, aggressive and actually pretty nice and at times punch-heavy effort from Celebrity Cell in this 1-rounder from 413 Battle League.

Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0

Favorite line: DNA – “Rule number one on being a celebrity is people have to actually know you nigga!”

Chess defeats Cakes

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Recap: Too much talking in the back (like Tsu Surf mentioned, why heads come to a rap battle to talk is beyond me), but still a good-ass battle nonetheless between Cakes and Chess. Thought Cakes brought slightly more angles, styling on all the hype concerning Chess’ youth (the scheme about Steams always yelling out “He 16!” was hilarious) and I liked how he repped his hood with that “You on a winning streak? Nigga you gonna be under the L like you passed through Sutter” quip. But for all his hot bars and wordplay Cakes needs to work on his performance (unlike Ah Di Boom, he lacks that big man swag) and stage presence as too often he gets distracted by the crowd and has a bad habit of talking/gesturing during his opponent’s rounds. Still, Chess’ round was just a total barfest, impressing with delicious schemes, fierce (“You not Chess, so it’s hard for you to kill niggas that don’t cut it, out to cook, that’s my barber’s que [barbeque] to grill niggas”) wordplay and loaded haymakers all the while staying away from too easy fat jokes. Chess got this one.

Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chess – “Don’t grip the nine, take his life with a knife, split his mind and leave head on both sides…..69”

Jakkboy Maine defeats Jay Dash

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Recap: Not as close as the crowd would have you believe as Jay Dash’s most impressive bars were surrounded by a lot of reaches and pedestrian lines. For a way more consistent and performance-heavy Jakkboy Maine, that’s more than enough to get the win.

Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine -“Wanna fight?, I’ll knock the sense out you, give a reality check and knock the bitch out you!?