Recap: 1-rounder from Bar4Bar Rap Battle League features a shitload of gritty lines, ringing mayhem and piercing name flips from both Twizted Mindz and 40 B.A.R.R.S. A close one with an almost equal amount of haymakers, but the cleaner flowing (thanks to a major slip-up early on by 40) and slightly more versatile Mindz gets the edge here.
Verdict: Twizted Mindz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Twizted Mindz – “We’ll blast around, but it’s so hard to hit ya, you my mother’s fave which I should be, so honestly it’s kinda smart to ditch ya, fuck it ran up in her house and sparked the blicka, spilled 40 on the rug, but you should be used to that…carpet licker!”
Recap: Clearly confident in saying what (“I wild out the jar’s a low and I don’t send sparring shots, I’ll cut your kid in the face then through the waist so his leg’s won’t have far to drop!”) he wants, whenever he wants and however he wants, even when he gets downright disrespectful and starts throwing cig’s at his opponent, Pep upends Kid Deph’s often (“Wig shot, either y’all hide out or get your honey combed!”) filthy, but also too often generic wordplay with his own steeze of fiery punchlines, robust set-ups, mid-round freestyles and gritty colloquialism to edge rounds 1 plus 3 and provide yet another memorable Proving Ground battle.
Verdict: Pep (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pep – “Y’all karate class, get the shotty blast in the back of the head, catch the bullet now if he got the glow!”
Recap: Surprise battle on, of all places, the RBE stage between West-coast vet Illmaculate and JC lives up to the hype with plenty of dope (Illmac: “This is terminal cancer, he knew he was dead when I hit the terminal, panicked and tried to jet soon as he heard that I landed, I let him carry on, that’s personal baggage, then take flight, that’s plane to see…”) schemes, metaphorical wizardry, personals galore, a load of small guy shit-talk, hitting gun bars and a plethora of witty (“Jay [J-eh] ain’t what he sounds like…fuck it am I speaking Spanish?!”) anecdotes. The feeling here is a 1st round draw with both battlers dispensing equal heat along with equal (JC: “This is wht greatness is, you clown’s are just plagiarists, trying to sneak a scheme past Stephen King, oh wow…well I created It!”) haymakers with steady aggression, nice performance bars and staid crowd control. And while Illmac came hard with more fiery wordplay in a (“They got me preying on Baby Jesus…Talladega Nights!”) personals-driven 2nd round, the vet rapper hurt himself a bit with dated themes and an elongated, 7-minute 2nd round that allowed for equally adept (“We need you upright, because this one night, it ain’t about increasing the peace, shit, you’ll get beat with the piece like you Pun wife!”) JC to edge the round with less dry spots amongst more of those ill (“You about as notable as a wave….in Kevin Durant hair!”; “Shit, I’ll take any shot…I’m ambitious!”) punchlines/personals the Michigan rapper is noted for. But displaying veteran resiliency, Illmac bounced back in the 3rd, what with a more versatile and well-crafted round featuring a load of lofty (“Right hook, jaw gets damaged, mouth sticking out the side like when you talking with a Boston accent!”) punches and a handful of haymakers that beat back a solid, but not spectacular turn from JC. All in all, a terrific battle that deserves to be debated.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: JC – “If you looking for a nigga to embarrass you, you couldn’t have picked a better dude, colossal impact, even at eye-level, I leveled you!”
Recap: It’s a different type of stumble, but against Real Deal here on No Coast X, Tone Montana proves to be his own worse enemy again. This time wasting his 3rd round on a predictable and shortened race angle after going into the 3rd round, IMO, winning this battle upon splitting the 1st and edging the (“I ain’t saying fuck your race, all I’m saying is that I’ll go to the White House and burn a cross on Columbus Day!”) 2nd. Thus, Real Deal, who was pretty solid throughout, dishes a hot enough 3rd round to force a tie.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Real Deal – “Let’s get violent Tony, I’d love it if we took it to fists, the end of Candyman the only time Trevor catching a hook from a bitch!”
Recap: Even a fire 3rd round from up-n-comer and prolific puncher Jey the Nitewing couldn’t save him from The Kingpen’s sheer propensity in dishing consistently hot wordplay, witty schemes and fierce personals/punchlines during the first couple of rounds, more than enough to take this Boston vs. Washington Skytier Northwest battle.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “Jey [Jay] don’t got the title [Tidal], so unless Hov drop and album, don’t subscribe to that shit!”
Recap: With a name like Tetsho Vintage you just knew that an experienced vet like DNA would have (“Tetsho, that sound like a game in Nintendo that the company let go!”) some fun with it. And he certainly did in this one-rounder from ABR that also saw a boatload of pedestrian bars from Mr. Vintage, a league owner (Chris Petty) really overreacting to Tetsho’s steady aggression and DNA showing off with some nice freestyles and rebuttals, that is when he wasn’t spitting fiery punchlines and buzzing gun bars.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “Get out of line, my team violent, [swish swish[, two buck 50’s, leave both of your cheeks smiling!”
Recap: Damn. A whole 3rd round directed your opponent’s (alleged) girlfriend? Who just happens to be a battle rapper herself and of course, was right there, in the crowd, to witness it all?!? That’s some (“You ain’t never been eye to eye with a real nigga that stare face, with a nigga like me, ready to bang your ass [points out] out on the staircase!”) different shit. And despite a pretty fire 3rd (that also featured a couple of nice rebuttals) from Truth Watson–who was nice throughout the whole battle, especially during a stupendous (“Nah, gun butt, the magazine to ya nose like cologne samples!”) 1st that he clearly edged–Pep’s way too (“Schoolyard felt like a zoo inside, I grew up playing suicide, with off-the-wall nigga’s that later committed suicide!”) prodigious (which included a fire mid-round freestyle) and scheme-heavy 2nd round along with the aforementioned, personal-drenched 3rd, gets the Golden Squad champ the comeback and the win here.
Verdict: Pep (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pep – “I’ll put the gun to his mother mouth like ‘Where he at? Only the Truth shall set you free!'”
Recap: In a KOTD battle drenched with personals, a much harder hitting Charlie Clips easily outperforms a pretty lackadaisical Pat Stay over the course of 3 rounds, breaking down his opponent’s recent battles and battle theatrics when he wasn’t scoring with some piercing punchlines, racial barbs and some hot gun bars/schemes. On the other hand, a mostly pedestrian and filler prone Pat Stay depending on requisite fat jokes and not much of anything else, allowed Clips to pitch a pretty easy shutout.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “A shot will lift you in the air, you and your organs is trying to stick together, put a dot in the middle of PS, it took like I’m trying to extend the letter!”
Recap: For all his confidence, name (“The second part of his name is the only time you see Kannon with a ‘k’!”) flips, elongated rounds, taking his jacket on and off and spazzing hard enough to garner a few moments here and there, Young Smurf’s overall repertoire fails to withstand a much nicer combo of eccentric gun bars, jaunty (“You weak nigger, I ain’t even gotta compete with’cha, I’ll just let the kick light up a dummy, that’s 3 Ninja’s!”) wordplay and ill personals from Young Kannon. Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Time for the whipping now, my click with the shit’s bring the pistol’s out, take a different route and the whole family’s on it like the Simpson’s couch!”
Recap: In what was a pretty solid PG battle from URL, a spitfire, witty and punch-heavy turn by DG Da Paronta in the 3rd round comes too late as Fonz’s rambunctious, 4-set-up-spazzing, wordplay/gun bar-heavy and punchline-crazy 1st and 2nd rounds already worked to outscore his less consistent opponent and give the Cleveland spitter the win.
Verdict: Fonz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fonz – “I got some shit that’ll fuck up a nigger features, I’m talking shotties, choppers, Glock’s, 9MM’s different heaters, light up the porch like we handing out candy for the trick-or-treaters!”
Recap: After this battle I’m guessing that Court probably wished he’d brought his ‘hardest shit’, instead of mayhem-inducing, but mostly pedestrian bars that failed to match the impact of opponent Don Marino’s more potent name flips, righteous gun lines and versatile punches in this 1-rounder from AHAT ATL.
Verdict: Don Dollaz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Don Dollaz – “If its beef, I’ll put .5 on .5 on Court…now we got a game!”
Recap: Out-punched and struggling a bit with his flow in round 1, Machete Trevy withstands the heat and in the latter rounds–using a gang of witty/mocking personals with some piercing punchlines mixed in–comes back to beat a rebuttal-nice, but less potent with the punchlines Don Dollaz.
Verdict: Machete Trevy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Machete Trevy – “Why would you name yourself after money if you ain’t getting any, you’re not Don Dollaz…you’re Peasant Pennies!”
Recap: Qleen Paper, who’s earned quite the rep of late for not showing to battles, actually makes an appearance here against Dubb da Feenom. And for what it’s worth, while spitting (with the help of some of his boys) a clean round with some witty jokes without any hiccups, still didn’t distinguish himself enough to beat back the effortless and fiery punches/wordplay of Dubb da Feenom in this one-rounder from Step Your Ink Game Up battle league.
Verdict: Dubb da Feenom (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dubb da Feenom – “My bars about to get Qleen [clean] pissed, it’s like I’m on parole!”
Recap: A pocket-tap, a rare freestyle, fire name flips and of course, a shitload of stinging gun bars, it’s all there for the always aggressive Nu Jerzey Twork, who in this 1-rounder versus a hitting here and there, but elongated and mostly pedestrian Radio B, seemed to be having so much fun that he even included a crowd-pleasing ‘Strapped In!’ compilation for his otherwise, already beaten opponent.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Sniper with the gamma rays, this the last time you see Radio active!”
Recap: Solid, competitive PG battle between Whosane and Mackk Myron sees them both use some exquisite (Whosane: “Mac [Mackk] sound cool, but they jam up when they overheat!”) punches, lyrical (Mackk: “I [eye], shoot crazy, I’m Scott Summers without the shades!”) bravado and fine performance bars to split the first couple of rounds. Tied going into the 3rd, both battlers stayed fluorescent with the heat and punchlines, but Mackk’s slow start combined with a slightly more condensed turn by Whosane gives the latter the win.
Verdict: Whosane (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Whosane – “Nigga’s gonna respect my name or get they ass capped, or see they favorite artist on a bag like Rap snacks!”
Recap: Plenty of hardbody bars and fiery punches on both sides of this competitive 1-rounder from Iron Mouth Battles. But in the end a more consistently hitting and wordplay-lit Yoshi G gets the win over Diablo.
Verdict: Yoshi G (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Yoshi G – “Drop a plugged up toaster in the tub while you bathing, now that’s what I call Bath and Body works!”
Recap: ‘Mister Top Tier from the Proving Grounds,’ Chilla Jones, makes quick work of a versatile, but not spectacular Qpacalypsem who when he wasn’t making up for dry spots with nice anecdotes along with some spiffy wordplay, couldn’t withstand the steady heat, witty puns and polemic dispensary from Mr. Jones’ kitchen.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “This deuce, deuce, clear shit out, the same as prune juice!”
Recap: Good shit between Mr. Mills and Ill Will in this lively one-rounder from Midwest Alliance that featured plenty of heated gun bars from both battlers. But with the ability to display more personals, some funny jokes and a plethora of fiery punchlines, a more versatile Ill Will, who apparently ran into some drama with po-po on the way to this battle, at the very least leaves with a victory under his belt.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ill Will – “…let him owe me, I’ll fire a shot in the middle of Mills [meals] like Frank Lucas at lunch!”
Recap: One wouldn’t be remissed for feeling that a clearly-on-his-way-to-winning Dougy choked in this one-rounder against GP. But the feeling here is that Dougy didn’t stop his round to find his lines, but rather free-styled a bit and then had the wherewithal to stop his round short knowing that he was ahead (GP scored with some witty lines here and there, but had too many dry spots and average bars), rather than almost assuredly losing the battle with a choke.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dougy – “Up the strap. matter-of-fact, I gotta stand back, for the powder open up on this male [mail]…that’s Anthrax!”
Recap: KOTD hosts s long anticipated battle between B. Dot and Aye Verb that after a somewhat dry 1st round, oddly got better as the match proceeded. And while Verb, for the most part, put on a solid show, it just seemed that his opponent had an answer for everything the St. Louis legend had for him. Styling on B. Dot’s propensity to pontificate? So what, if he’s dropping jewel after jewel and crowd eats every bit of it. Dishing on B. Dot biting his style from Lux? So what, if he not only owns it, but if he can throw it (“How you disrespect Smack, bite the hand that was feeding you, even disrespect Loaded, but you wouldn’t have been noticed if it wasn’t something he seen in you!”) back at you with dizzying personals and lofty schemes? Then you wanna (“Get this Doctor Phil ass flow the fuck outta here, all this sucker shit, before you write rhymes for Aye Verb, put on over mitts!”) talk about who keeps it real in their raps and who doesn’t? Well, be extra careful with that one, especially when the other guy has clearly (“You died that night verse K, now the guy’s never mention you, I mean you gave up you heart to son Shine like a Mayan ritual!”) done his research and can return your heat with straight-up fire, dizzying haymakers and an ill performance.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “Don’t even mention comparisons, I’m from where taking sharks, you got sugar in yours…two different aquariums!”
Recap: After a hot start by Ill Will in the 1st round that edged a (“If you heard I don’t play, you better believe that shit, my nigga will break ya neck for a dime like [turns head]…’Bra, did you see that bitch!'”) haymaker-drenched, but dry spot-littered turn by Nu Jerzey Twork, the latter gets in his bag of fiery unorthodox polemics rich with finite (“[throws punches in air at Will] You see these get Ill-lit-er-ate [bwoh!] couldn’t read or write!”) performance bars and jaunty wordplay to spark a ferocious comeback. Indeed, Twork’s comeuppance would equate to a salacious round two that was made even more dominant by a stunning 2nd-round choke by Will. Tied going into the 3rd, a slow start by the Yaktown rapper, despite a load of steely histrionics later on in his round, would allow for a more consistent and frenzied Twork to do just enough for the win in what some could call an upset.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Restless, I guess that gives your name less significance, well you can rap with God, I hear he got the best deliverance!”
Recap: Dishing a load of dope (“Your bill’s due nigga, looking like real food, health inspector, shut the Chef down when he see what the mill [meal] do!”) name flips and punchlines, Jo Cool proves that he can hang with Chef Trez…for a couple of rounds anyway. Still, not to be intimidated by a nice up-n-comer, a confident Trez stays on his grind, dispensing speakeasy (“Long rifle, I’ll put a sniper to Kool, I got him reminiscing!”) gun bars, steady punches that scored with ease, a nice rebuttal or two and a handful of righteous haymakers to edge the first two rounds before easily overmatching his opponent in the 3rd.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “You have no supporters or a brand, but think you the truth, but on the ceiling spinning, what I’m staying is my fanbase is through the roof!”
Recap: When a couple of longstanding vets, in this case DNA and Big Kannon, get on the stage, you should expect a good fight and get one here. Freestyle’s, rebuttals, rebuttals on top of rebuttals and par the course: fire bars, they’re all on display. 1st round has a rapidly punching BK hitting hard with nice (“Dog, you just mimic K-Shine whole cadence and think that you’re so original, well, both of y’all bitches period, ‘cuz your flow is so predictable!”) but set-ups and spiffy personals that altogether made for a solid start. However a motivated DNA, apparently holding a grudge against his opponent for being jealous of his career, upped the ante with fierce personals, buzz-worthy (“It’ll be blood when I draw on Wilson, or the Tom will put that cast away!”) wordplay and dope punchlines to edge the round. Middle round saw BK turn it up with a nice rebuttal to start it off, before going off on DNA with spitfire personals and crazy name flips in a condensed round that just managed to edge a witty and haymaker-drenched, but elongated turn from DNA. The deciding 3rd round kept the competitive heat going, what with both battlers delivering fire bars and heavy-stacked punches. But with less dry spots, another dope rebuttal, a potent career vs. career scheme and one more haymaker than his opponent, it’s DNA who convincingly takes this battle of two top tier’s.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Nigga told me Kannon wanna scrap, I said ‘fight who?’, nigga’s diabetic, I’ll just give this prick the finger, I know he ain’t the Type 2 [too]!”
Recap: Much credit to Punchline for living up to his moniker, what with a handful of fiery (“He say he want to quit tobacco, but the cig I got ain’t peer pressure!”; “This .45 I call special, by far, even tho it’s next to Nunn [none]!”) punches that made this one-rounder versus Nunn Nunn competitive. However, an elongated round filled with too many standard jabs by Punchline, along with a couple of crazy rebuttals by Nunn Nunn, who when he wasn’t spitting winsome (“Bitch, you winning?, disrespect, you just talking out of ass, like Eddie Murphy on Shrek!”) heat and witty personals, kept the crowd hyped with some potent (“I’m a ticket scalper with bad seats, I give out cheap nose-bleeds!”) wordplay, would give the URL vet an impressive win.
Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “We smell the doep on your breathe, you’ll hit a quarter on the glass, you’re Manigault with the meth!”
Recap: ZigZag’s frenetic (“Give him that rip, and then snatch his drive, I’ll Repo Lexx!”) shots at mayhem wreck havoc at times, but in the long run can’t keep up with Lexx Luthor’s witty (“Listen, travel-size Jadakiss!”) personals, unique wordplay stylings and astute Pokeman shiners in this PG matchup from Smack..
Verdict: Lexx Luthor (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lexx Luthor – “Y’all seen Small Soldiers?, I’m about action, figures I’d be punching out the box!”
Recap: A bit of a weird and a bit of an underwhelming battle here between Prep and Chef Trez. A few rebuttals here and there, but no ‘3 of them things’ from Chef. Prep, despite losing the battle, arguably dishing the best round in a (“…they don’t get why I call them that, man y’all be bugging, Th3 Saga will leave ’em holy, but Jaz just started busting!”) turned-up 3rd. Etc. Etc. Like Prep, once again, just doing too much in round 1 (and even a bit in round 3) and Trez, tho dispensing enough (“Talking about you ain’t trying to go back to where Rich Dollarz at…bitch, you never left!”) room-shakers and rapid punches to edge both round 1 and 2, overall, just seeming like he couldn’t wait to get this battle over with.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Gun to the back of his head, put the machine behind him…like a record deal!”
Recap: Jimz, who’s long talked about wanting to battle Math Hoffa, finally gets his shot on the KOTD stage and for the most part, fails to take advantage of the opportunity. The first couple of rounds are all Math, back on his bully shit, but also mixing in some clever schemes, witty bars and a hilarious 2nd round centered on flipping Jimz’ ‘Stop Being Dirty’ slogan for funny storytelling/performance bars on him working at a laundry cleaner (which when you consider what he did at the DNA battle, made a lot of sense) part-time. On the other hand, while the effort was there, Jimz’ first two rounds just seemed to be all over the map, incohesively spitting bars on random subjects with little to connect them with, before literally going into his backpack to pull out a gang of chicken nuggets that made for a major reach (and a messy stage) regarding an incident Hoffa had with Serius Jones years ago. With a chance for a 30 going into the last round, Math being Math as well as being back on the KOTD platform, couldn’t help himself but to bring up, yet again, Dizaster and other stuff that had nothing to do with his opponent–an alright, but beatable round that Jimz slayed with some wicked personals of his own and a couple of hot punchlines that allowed the Queens, NY, rapper to avoid getting shut out.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Math Hoffa -“You should battle Surf, I’m telling you, that’ll be a heavy body, ‘cuz you knwo more about Tide…than everybody!”
Recap: Cable Guy and Stylez go at it in this PG matchup that featured plenty of fiery gun bars as well as some nice wordplay here and there to make the match competitive throughout. However, with a boatload of very average lines and pedestrian bars/schemes from both battlers, this battle turns out to be less than satisfying when compared to the hunger you’re used to seeing in most PG battles. So despite a pretty-basic-in the-first and taking-too-long-to-get-to-the-punch Cable Guy getting reduced to toast by his opponent’s ill stream of frenzied (“Glock 40 by the waistline with the beam, I got a laser disc, shit it shocked me when I shoot, it got a taser grip!”) gun bars in the first, before Styles delivers a huge miscue with his ‘Bret Hart died in the ring’ line and cutting his 2nd round short to defeat any chance of winning that round to a more wordplay and scheme-heavy Cable Guy. 3rd round exemplified the entire battle with Stylez dishing just enough of that gritty, street shit to even the score against what was a hot-n-cold turn by Cable Guy.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Cable Guy – “You running around, think you tough with some camera crew?!, well nigga I got news for you!”
Recap: Braggadocios bangers, nifty wordplay, svelte personals, plenty of mayhem and fiery punchlines highlight this close PG matchup between Pop and Lu Castro. But after getting behind and surviving a spitfire, punch-fest from Lu in the 1st round, a consistently gritty and aggressive Pop, helped in part by Castro’s less potent raps and struggles with his flows, comes back and takes the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Pop (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pop – “I’ll pull up with mad Mac’s, he’ll be plaguing on the floor, getting stepped on and getting clapped at, now he’s a lame contradiction, ‘cuz now he a deadbeat in a dad hat!”
Recap: Well, that was…weird, entertaining and I guess highly appropriate for a Halloween match. In a one-round battle of face-paint battlers that kind of reminded you of 80’s wrestling bouts, Reepah Rell and The Joker competitively go at it and bring the whole deck out. Reepah, while struggling with his flow a little bit here and there, still manages to impress what with salacious (“Let me change the pace, big gun, arrange his face, the Nina singing at Funeral…that’s Amazing Grace!”) wordplay, intricate set-ups and witty set-ups with stealth abandon. While Joker (coupled with a cameo appearance from his homie The Riddler) kept your attention with not only his colorful mask, but sporadic, yet heated (“Blow your face on the opposite side of Gwitty face, now you’re mismatched!”) punchlines along with a handful of hilarious “deadbeat bars” towards the end. All in all, a pretty good battle, with a way more consistent Reepah earning the win.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I’m talking facelifts, all my nigga’s shoot, even my brother Drew [drew]…Everybody Hates Chris!”
Recap: Not really feeling all this tag-team, dudes jumping in battles, 2-on-1 shit going on in battle rap these days. But in this case, even with surprise guest appearances by Snake Eyez and Pep in the 3rd round, with harder wordplay and more spitfire bars, despite all the antics in a final round that he barely rapped in, Fettuccine20 had already soundly beaten Swift Millie anyway.
Verdict: Fettuccine20 (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Fettuccine20 – “Low carbs, no sodium, the gat be fat free, ‘cuz Mills [meals] light!”
Recap: Niftly freestyling for like a 3rd of the battle and scoring left and right with defiant (“A hard New Yorker giving Bras, my birth certificate says ‘RIKERS!’!”) punches, Charlie Clips scores an easy win over the aggressive, but topsy-turvy newbie So Severe.
Verdict: Charlie (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips -“I’ll SmACK you so hard, Beasley gotta call to make sure the coast is clear, and if my Math serve me right then these 5 fingers will you Dose career!”
Recap: Long in time, but consistently potent and entertaining, T Top and Ave put on a dope battle on URL that consisted of a variety of stinging name flips, witty personals, fierce punchlines/wordplay, righteous gun bars/trap talk and mostly solid schemes. Close throughout with a more versatile, hitting (“Fuck that, I’ll put your daughter in a bag, by her ponytail, then I’ll dump the bitch on Ave., we got coke for sale, you ain’t even plugged in Virginia, who you know for real?, talking about you Grinding…you don’t even know Pharrell Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ave – “What you reppin’, Parklife?, y’all ass, who cares, you the star on that garbage squad?, well that’s Bad News Bear!
Recap: Kind of a weird battle between Jai 400 Block and Danja Zone in the fact that despite going into the final split, none of the 3 rounds here was even close. 1st round saw Jai stumble a couple of times before dishing a pretty standard turn that Danja easily beat back with spitfire (“They just here for Jai to [Jada] die early, that’s the beginning of Scream 2!”) bars that brought with them all sorts of mayhem. However, the 2nd round saw both battlers do a 180 what with Jai stepping up his aggression while dispensing a stirring mix of dope (“All these nigga’s talk about weapons that they’ll shoot off, till I pull a Wesson they get to stepping like Q-dogs!”) gun lines and fiery punchlines that left you no doubt who won that round when put against what a ubiquitous bore-fest of bars from his opponent. So with the momentum on Mr. 400 Block’s side and Danja Zone seemingly losing traction, Jai spits a shortened and ordinary 3rd, which in turn allows Danja to effortlessly take this one by means of a nice mix of hard punches and dope set-ups. Again, just weird, especially for what was an apparent grudge mtach.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “I’ll put lead in a caliber, then put a hole in his head like Kevin McCallister!”
Recap: Dispensing a variety of (“I caught the BART with a Maggie, word to Homer Simpson!”) robust punchlines at will, Bigg K proceeds to out-punch a solid, but not as potent Pass for two rounds, before a wordplay-heavy, (“Bitch, you racist, I’ll hit in the face with the K, k, K?!”) personal-leaning and a little more consistent Pass edges round 3 to avoid getting shut out in this fire battle from KOTD.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “You 50 percent clown, but that ain’t the half of it!”
Recap: Punch-heavy throughout, bodacious with the name flips/gun bars/braggadocio lines, extra funny (Bigg K’s CVS security line, “You control the parking lot, all mad and upset, trying to tackle a skateboarder like ‘Get back from the steps!'” was hilarious) at times, competitive, peculiar (O-Red’s strange wardrobe choice and K’s choice to dedicate his entire 3rd round to a scheme on bathroom usage) and delicious with the wordplay, except for a few reaches and some pretty basic punches here and there, O-Red versus Bigg K delivers on all fronts. However, when it comes to picking a winner, after a debatable 1st (even with Red’s fire ‘translation’ rebuttal, K’s punchlines were pretty vicious throughout), a condensed and more consistent O-Red takes the 2nd and with some seismic set-ups, better sauce on the bars and his own display of pointed (“You dropped your arms quicker than dude who told Ace ‘I ain’t eating!'”) personals that flexed his versatility, it’s O-Red who takes the 3rd as well for the win.
Verdict: O-Red (W) 2-1
Favorite line: O-Red – “I’ll muzzle him, you won’t hear shit when the Uzi bang, that silnecer make it sound like a hit song….from Pootie Tang!”
Recap: Zig Zag deserves props for a very solid performance here, spitting a load of mean bars with some delicious (“I’ll grab ya bitch, poke her, then use ya baby as the bargaining chip!”) gun lines/wordplay that was matched by his aggressive showing. But just as fierce with his bars and a little better overall with his wordplay and (“Fuck Zig Zag, get left in the backwoods for the raw paper!”) name flips, the always reliable Young Kannon was also a bit more consistent with his darts, thus managing to edge thsi one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Cuz in Chicago you gotta be thoro, fuck if you a legend, they’ll still paint ya face like the Prodigy mural!”
Recap: Here in this one-rounder from No Ransom Battle League, an aggressive and performance-heavy Geda Dot uses some fiery punches and nice flips to make things competitive. But a few too many dry spots along with Fettuccine 20’s stylistic wordplay, fly schemes and sanguine heaters put away any chance of Dot pulling off the upset.
Verdict: Fettuccine 20 (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Fettuccine 20 – “I’ll put a round on Dot like the Target logo!”
Recap: A gritty, competitive matchup with plenty of mayhem and hardbody street rhymes to get your temperatue boiling, the more rigid, succinct, witty at times, storytelling and name flip spicy Swave Sevah manages to edge both of the opeing rounds for the win before a fire turn by Iam Marz in the 3rd allows him to void the shutout.
Recap: ‘Who Got Bars’, an interactive pay-per-view series, comes off as a dope concept, but one, 2-minute round? That’s just utterly way too short. Still, a solid showing from Geechi Gotti and Beatz Gatlin, featuring plenty of potent heat/personals, sees Geechi edge it with a little more versatility and a couple of more haymakers.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “The chopper will sit a hyphy nigger down like Adderall!”
Recap: Loud, witty, highly entertaining and (Jerry Wess with the arguable Bar of the Year during what was a flawless turn: ‘…the bullet will spill out Tee [tea] like ‘Ain’t no sugar in this shit!’ haymaker and Teewhy with the superlative ‘Rap like Jerry Wess’ impression in round 2) sublime battle between Teewhy and Wess certainly got the crowd reaction’s it deserved and the competitive stamp it warranted. Indeed, for all of Teewhy’s fiery punches, aggressive (“Tool draw, snap shot, I’ll do a burger sloppy like food porn!”) gun lines and nifty wordplay, on this particular day his opponent just has as dope a gameplan. Wess going performance bar-heavy and coming over-the-top with the (“Every game I had, I never been ejected, somebody should recognize, they just gave me a tech [Tec], I gotta stop fucking with the ref [points at Teewhy] I got T’d up a second time!”) set-ups/name flips to overtake a pretty solid turn in its own right by Teewhy in round 1, before a nice rebuttal to the start of his turn along with a little less filer gives (“For even thinking he on my level, Y know he must be drunk!”) Jerry the 2nd as well. And while Teewhy would pull out a sorta embarrassing picture prop and attempt to get extra personal, the 3rd round was still the least eventful round of the battle. Yet, with Wess firing off more consistently spicy shiners, the Brooklyn battler gets the final round too and earns the 30.
Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “Bang!, bang!, bang!, I lost count, I put a lot in the grave, I just killed everybody in the Colosseum…are you not entertained!”
Recap: Flexing left and right with elite gun bars, some fierce wordplay, rigid punchlines and a couple of nice rebuttals, except for a close 2nd round, Coffee Brown takes this 3-rounder easy from a witty and scheme-heavy, but too oft-pontificating and pedestrian Phillip 4:13.
Verdict: Coffee Brown (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Coffee Brown – “I’ll step up and let it raise your daughter like your mama a deadbeat or take him back to the first day of school…arms wave from across the street!”
Recap: Make every bar count. In a one-round punchfest between Quban and Chris Dubbs, the former’s ability to dish more consistent and versatile heat serves as the difference, as despite Dubbs’ handful of sublime moments, way too many pedestrian bars cost him any chance in the end.
Verdict: Quban (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Quban – “What a hoax, a fucking joke, you look you preach for Black rights, sleepwalker, fake woke!”
Recap: Gotta roll with the crowd on this one as the seeming lack of excitement during this KOTD title match between Cortez and Head I.C.E. was totally understandable in what was mostly a snoozefest. Indeed, as lengthy as pretty much each round was here, while one can appreciate the effort put in from both battlers, judging from all the dry spots and filler, neither emcee was on their A-game. Still, considering it was a rematch from their controversial bout way back in the days of the Lionz Den, the irony of Cortez receiving another loss to I.C.E. when the opinion here is that he hit with enough hard punches, personals, angles and rugged heat to easily take the first two rounds against an opponent who was all over the place with his rhymes, super long-winded and too often lacked any spice with his punches, shouldn’t be loss on anyone, especially the hosts.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “I told y’all I ain’t playing with I.C.E, if I air [ear] one then it go one out the other, I ain’t take his advice!”
Recap: Despite a mid-round slip-up, Steams’ boatload of slick wordplay and fire set-ups/name flips are more than enough to beat the mostly standard punches of Black Gemini in this one-rounder from Bar4Bar Battle League.
Verdict: Steams (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Steams – “The gauge hit him, since all you Cleveland nigga’s want to be Lebron, I’m just another PG who won’t play with him!”
Recap: The Trap NY 1-rounder between Young Bmore and E-Hart sees the former deliver a solid trilogy of pent-up pontifications/schemes, fiery punchlines and stinging personals/name flips to make things competitive despite a couple of slip-ups and some pedestrian bars here and there. But flexing throughout the battle with a fire punchline game, stifling gun bars, gritty name flips and a rare, but hilarious roasting session on her opponent’s hairline (or lack thereof), a more condensed and spitfire E-Hart takes this one.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 1-0
Favorite line: E-Hart – “Pass the 5th, I dumb out like I ain’t pass the 5th!”
Recap: Here against Nu Jerzey Twork, Cortez finally gets his long-deserved Summer Madness battle and overall, whiel it’s a solid showing from both battlers, you wouldn’t be unfair if you wanted and expected more. That said, a more consistent, trap-themed and versatile Cortez edged the first round, using some dope performance bars along with some exquisite (“I need to know, they call you Twork why?, ‘cuz you shaving them grams?!, lies, they call you Twork ‘cuz you shaky on cam!”) wordplay to beat back a menacing and gun-heavy turn by the always eccentric (“I let it clap on Cor, [claps 3 times]. then again…clap..on. Cor…the gat drann!”) Twork. Second round had Twork winning pretty easy as Tez’s aggressive bars, while loaded with a few (“.357 in your face, the nose ring different!”) shiners here and there, missed the mark too often with a couple of reaches and wayward themes/lines that seemed a little redundant, when they weren’t pedestrian. In turn, Twork came through with a spitfire round that spoke to the potency (“I get it popping when it bang, silencio, sound like nada when it bang!”) of his pen as well his ability to spout an expansive range of fire set-ups. Going into the last round tied, Cortez’s earlier promises of having something to talk about, turned into a bit of a disappointment, what with little on the personal side. And while you got a competitive round filled with plenty of heat and sanguine wordplay, a few dry spots along with bars that would’ve worked against a lesser tier opponent, would end up costing Cortez a win. In turn, with momentum on his side after spitting his best round, Twork’s 3rd, while not his best, still was enough to rise to the occasion, what with some witty (“You managed to beat Daylyt, but most of your footage ain’t seen the light of day!”) personals and fiery gun bars that slayed their mark. Overall, enough to catch up to Cort and call this one even at the end.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “Fuck your battles, you hear me talking about your vault, it’s the one behind the portrait!”
Recap: With Prez Mafia spazzing in the first round with a healthy mix of stinging wordplay and potent (“Nigga, get at me kid and get a nasty cig…it’s a Marlboro!”) punchline that were backed by an ill performance to edge a loaded pound-for-pound repertoire of fierce gun bars by his opponent LL Coogi, you couldn’t help but think that Mr. Woosah was on his way to an easy win over the aggressive up-n-comer. But then things got shaky…literally. As after an elongated 2nd round from Coogi that contained a few (“Nigga, you had the Space to Jam, but decided to be a Monstar!”) shiners here and there, it was midway through the middle round that Prez just started stumbling, eventually losing the round after a couple of weak attempts to freestyle. The last and deciding round saw a more versatile Coogi continue to dish mayhem, displaying some nice resiliency by scoring with more and more lofty gun lines before Mafia, whose experience alone gave him a decent chance at still winning, surprisingly choked his round away midway through the round and cost himself the battle.
Verdict: LL Coogi (W) 2-1
Favorite line: LL Coogi – “Nigga, a brand new serial on the strap, I scratched the code off, wait for your ass to take a seat, then take the load off!”
Recap: Fire match between Jakkboy Maine and Young Kannon ends with a win for YK, who overcame Jakkboy’s stinging performance bars and salient sound effects with a more spitfire turn of fiery (“Call a spade a spade, they threw Jakk on the table knowing the King will cut him!”) punches, rich personals, frenzied set-ups and witty, yet hitting gun (“Weapons signing, second-stringer, I don’t play till a nigga get hurt!”) bars to edge the first two rounds. Jakkboy, who wasn’t helped by a bit of a struggle with his flow in round 2 and one too many darts spent on the likes of Tay Roc and JJDD during the bout, still held his own throughout the battle, even doing enough to avoid a sweep and salvage a dope round 3 from both battlers, with a more condensed turn than his opponent.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: -Jakkboy Maine – “Have you ever seen a nigga, see his nigga’s, fucking eyes closed [bwah!] then make sure that nigga see you before his fucking eye’s close!”
Recap: There’s lopsided and just a plain old bodybag in this rematch from a battle that took place 10 years before this one. Indeed, a Pat Stay that wasn’t even on his A-game uses proverbial wit, witty personals and fierce punchlines/schemes to easily take out a very basic with the bars and awkwardly ‘pause’-worthy G Duble. The latter of whom making his mark with the unique inability to drop a single haymaker in the entire battle, thus showing that he really had no business sharing the stage with the likes of Pat Stay regardless of what happened in their previous battle.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Heard you just put a ring on that bitch, poor girl, if she leaves with half, she’ll get garlic fingers and some cinnamon sticks!”
Recap: When he wasn’t giving a serious talking too to Bonnie Godiva’s ass, a smooth as ever Ness Less combines some shrewd personals, boastful barbs, piercing punchlines, witty darts and sizzling 4-bar set-ups to beat back a pretty solid, but not as versatile or consistently hitting turn from Bonnie in this 1-rounder from Rap Grid.
Verdict: Ness Lee (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ness Lee – “You ’bout your little women’s independnce hard until you gotta come to a nigga for a pickle jar you can’t open!”
Recap: Dope battle between Swamp and Gwitty, sees them both packed with heated bars, rich set-ups, witty lines and various methods of destruction. Still, while Gwitty for the most part came (“I’m mad skinny, I need a country girl to get with me, I beat all in her face, I heard y’all eat good in the country…I expected more on my plate!”) nice with his despite struggling with his flow here and there, a slightly more consistent with the punches and more (“‘I said ‘cuz this is not an act, I’ll pull up where you popping at and pop a gat, have the cig tucked behind a nigga ear like its the last one from out the pack!”) haymaker dropping Swamp ends up taking this one-rounder from No Ransom BL.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swamp – “I hope you came on your A-1 shit, no slip-ups or stumbles, I hope you came with balance, ‘cuz I got beams, machines, bars, schemes, set-ups…this shit look like the ‘You Name It’ challange!”
Recap: League hopping seems to be suiting J Murda, who takes his aggressive and fiery show on the road again to battle TruFoe in Chicago. And what ensues here is a spitfire match with the Chi-Town spitter almost matching his opponent in intensity along with ready-to-fire gun bars. Still, while Murda always seems to be ready for action, it’s his ability to be consistent that usually makes the difference between winning and losing. And in this case the fortitude us there, especially during the first two rounds, which sees Murda spazzing with heated performance bars and dope (“It’s like break-ups on the phone, I’m dumping texts!”) punchlines/set-ups all laced with authentic street themes that more than backed his flossing. For TruFoe, while shining with potent punches and a couple of righteous personals (one of which Murda just couldn’t help but respond to with a burp), a few dry spots here and there cost him in the early rounds, credit his (“Fuck a Homi, I ain’t trying to knock y’all movement, but if it’s labeled a homicide, you probably got caught doing it!”) resiliency for edging the 3rd and avoiding getting 30’d.
Verdict: J Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J Murda – “A headshot [BOOM!}, his knee [Neil] will land on the moon, I swear that this arm strong [Armstrong}!”
Recap: Mackk Mtyron uses a ferocious 1st round, littered with (“In the trap, I seen more birds fly than ‘Fuck you!'”) haymaker after haymaker, to end this one early versus Real Deal, who while solid in the first, sputtered badly in the 2nd before choking. And while Real got his mojo back to spit an okay 3rd, he still couldn’t withstand Mackk’s potent race-themed bars/impressions and continually heated punchlines in the final round.
Verdict: Mackk Myron (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mackk Myron – “I hit his mama last week on the mini-sofa, I pulled out and left one on the wall like a penny poster!”
Recap: They put the vet E-Hart in the ring with a rookie, Uneek Fatal, and the results, surprisingly, turned out to be a mixed bag. As for the first two rounds, the newbie impressed with some consistently hot bars that were only set back by Hart’s more versatile palette of fiery personals, rigid gun lines and charming wordplay. Still, competitive entering the 3rd despite being edged in the early rounds, Fatal would falter under her own bravado, choking mid-round to warrant the 30, but overall still showing enough potential to get another looksee.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 3-0
Favorite line: E-Hart -“Long rams, you’ll get blocked, you should’ve never tried to shoot ya shot!”
Recap: Nifty punchlines and rabid gun bars highlight this URL battle between Joe and Franchise, with a more consistent and fiery (“This ratchet will fuck a Franchise up, it’s a Kardashian!”) Joe taking the 1st round, while (“You talking shit, till your whole squad get lit, it was all Love and Hip-Hop till Joe got a sucker punch and that’s just a Consequence!”) Franchise turned up enough in the 2nd to edge that round and have it 1-1 going into the 3rd. And while neither battler was spectacular in the deciding round, Franchise’s angle to get personal and (predictably) racial with a barrage of struggle life bars could’ve been a lot better, esp when you consider that his bars were more about his battle rap career than his life outside of it. With that, Joe, continuing to bring it with aggressive punches and nicer set-ups, makes it to the finish line ahead with a turn that was more solid overall despite a few dry spots here and there.
Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Joe – “He talking about White Men can’t Jump…now I got this bitch in Jeopardy!”
Recap: From Midwest Alliance, a turned up Sammy Wild 100’s uses a mostly consistent barrage of versatile/hard-hitting punchlines to beat back a somewhat shortened and gritty, but unsteady showing from O’fficial in this altogether fiery 1-rounder.
Verdict: Sammy Wild 100’s (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Sammy Wild 100’s – “Your top half big as hell, bottom half small, that’s something we can see clear, this bitch back long as a leap year!”
Recap: In an at-times surprisingly one-sided battle from URL’s Summer Madness 6, a punchline-spazzing, fiery-personal dishing and heavy with the mayhem Hitman Holla dominates a mostly subpar and sometimes listless-with-the-pen K-Shine. Not that a confident Holla needed any assistance from his opponent as the St. Louis vet set the tone out the gate with combative (“You told T-Rex you gonna knock him out if he disrespect your baby mama or your daughter nigga…man I’ll fuck your baby mama in front of your daughter, nigga!”) shiners and continuously cutthroat aggression mixed in some feelgood wordplay to easily take the first two rounds with little on the performance end. And while the lyrically sizzling Holla, already with the win in hand, came through with a solid 3rd round, Shine (who was so pedestrian with his bars during the early rounds that he started to get booed in the 2nd) finally found his bag, got in and did enough with stinging performance bars, witty (“You on TV, you supposed to be lit for the cameras, glitz wit’ the glamour, talkin’ to the Wild N Out strippers and dancers, instead, he up there showing his temper with tantrums, all aggressive, talking ’bout gripping his hammer, walking up gettin’ the [EEEEEH!] before he get to the answer!”) barbs as well as some gritty punchlines/personals in a slightly more condensed turn that allowed him to salvage the final round and avoid getting 30’d on battle rap’s biggest event.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “You un-loyal ass bitch, I can’t believe you, you had the nerve to give a fake five to the nigga that used to feed you!”
Recap: Charlie Clips at his finest: a 1st round containing a gang of spitfire schemes and fiery 4-bar set-ups to take that one easy. Then a 2nd round dripped in crazy, versatile name flips to add another point to the scoreboard before opponent Rad B (solid but a tad inconsistent and pedestrian throughout the battle, not including a consistently hard-punching 3rd round that was easily his best of the night) made him earn the 30, which Clips did via a string of hilarious jokes, some sublime wordplay, piercing punches/personals/schemes and a couple of dope freestyles.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “You don’t hang put with bad people, nigga your braces get orange when you eat mad Cheetos!”
