No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: A highly competitive battle between Franchise and A. Ward results in the former using aggressive schemes, lucid gun bars and a load of fiery punchlines to take rounds 1 and 2, and thus a well-earned win on his home turf.
Verdict: Franchise (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Franchise – “Yo, what up, it’s time for your man to die my friend, he Christ-like?! [bwoh!]. I bet you that this body won’t arise again!”
Recap: Every noted battle rapper must have a reference or two they get tired of hearing about from opponents in battles and in B Magic’s case I’d venture to guess that it’s ‘J Fox’ fight bars and ‘David Blaine’ mention’s. And while Syah made use of both those here in this RBE 3-rounder, the ATL spitter as he usually does, still made for a winnable effort with a gang of piercing punchlines (esp. in round 3, which he edged) and solid personals throughout the match. But as he shows us once again here, a prepared B Magic can take on anyone and with a steady barrage of sizzling punches/gun bars, rigid wordplay and witty darts in the opening rounds, one can attest here that the show did arrive.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B Magic – “Think of the Banks family, I’ll raise the Smith [Smif]!”
Recap: One wouldn’t expect anything less than a dope battle between DNA dn Chef Trez and you definitely got your money’s worth here. And what with Trez using a crazy rebuttal and (“I’m going Above the Rim, but I forget bro stupid, I’m nut so [Nutso], so if I clap a square, the 5th go through him”; “Please have a mind of your own, let’s say DNA slap me, I’ll put the .9 to ya dome, a slap withh get you 3 rounds, that’s Shine and Charron!”) spine-tickling bars to dominate the 2nd round (thanks in part to a shortened, but still solid turn by DNA) and DNA easily (“There’s panic when I’m gripping the .4, if it’s about money I’ll have this cat over the bread, that’s a Dominican store!”; “You been sucking dick to get every battle you got, with no pride, so it’s crazy how John John took Bloe job!”) taking the 3rd with crazy punchlines, this one comes down to the 1st. Which I got Trez winning what with better consistency in terms of the quality of his bars and more diversified lines as well, over what was an times (“With these two trey’s I’m shooting, when I bring Chef closer to you God [U-God], that’s a Wu-Tang reunion!”) superb, but mostly underwhelming turn from DNA.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “But what your hat say?, ‘PG Killer’, that’s what they call you in these mean streets?, nigga that’s equivalent to being the best player…in the D League!”
Recap: Pretty solid effort here from Radio B, who withstanding some reaches here and there, scored with enough lyrical darts and gritty punches to stay in this battle and even edge the 3rd round. Still, while JC’s final round wasn’t as blistering as one might like, the first couple of rounds told a different story, what with a gang of stifling punchlines, boastful shiners that solidified his status in the game and pointed wordplay/name flips/gun bars that worked to outscore his opponent in each of the opening rounds and give the Michigan battler the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Two bulldogs [points arms out like guns], dumping outside like they housebroken!”
Recap: From Upstate Heavyweight Rap League, a long, but solid and gritty at times effort from Jae Lyrics gets beat back by DNA, who with a consistent barrage of sublime name flips and flexing punchlines, made this 1-rounder an easy day at the park.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “What a time to be alive, till I fuck up your Future lyrics!”
Recap: Credit to SinCity Nyce, who despite being mostly one-themed with rudimentary street (“Here’s a hollow tip, I give bucks even for bad service!”) raps, still put on a solid barfest that got him the 2nd round and kept thinsg competitive here against Geechi Gotti on AHAT. However, Geechi being Geechi, fiercely kicking that street (“Growing up, deciding whether to stab you or shoot you, was considered a split decision!”) shit with aggressive punchlines and some ill wordplay mixed in throughout this bout, equates to being more than enough to take the 3rd round and the win.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Face shot…watch his skin slide off like baked chicken!”
Recap: Steady aggressive bars throughout this one-round battle of raucous lines/wordplay from both Ha Style and Quban (“Knife work, I’ll leave it stuck in the middle…I’m still deciding!”), is separated by less filler, more variety, a Hulk Hogan impression and a tribute to ‘Radio Raheem’ by Ha Style.
Verdict: Ha Style (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ha Style – “Just know that the dot calm a nigga like a semi-colon!”
Recap: Hosted by Chilla Jones, a quick one-rounder between Moroney and Xcel showcases Moroney’s ability to crack some nice (“And I’m chilling with your chicken, I’m a stick it in her throat, shortie made me cum [come] quicker than Christmas when ya broke!”) jokes, but also a desperate need to work on his flow/performance. All the while Xcel stays (“You ain’t a veteran, boy you just been here too long!”) nice during his turn with what’s essentially a sparring bout.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “Think Molly, you could get peeled for not knowing what I’m cut with!”
Recap: As expected, religious themes/bars dominate this fire matchup between Christian rapper Loso and 5% street theologist Xcel. First round sees both rappers spit an assortment of heat with Xcel going first and mixing in steely verbal hijinks with killjoy wordplay and fierce (“This a real fight, get too close I’m stabbing Loso, I drag him, mop the floor with this nigga…Fabuloso!”) schemes that spoke directly to Loso’s soul. But unmoved by his opponent’s hot start, an aggressive Loso came right back with own potent mix of fiery (“Well, let’s stop that, because that’s not why you got booked, but where you hearing that?, the only reason we got you on this card is because we got Xcel [a sale] for cheap like a clearance rack!”) personals and stinging name flips that let you know that he was here to win. Second round saw another (“But fuck it, since he thinks he a loud and tough dude, I got a loud ratchet, in the front, you can’t rebuttal!”) solid, but not-quite-as-nice-as-his-1st turn from Xecl. But Loso stepped it a notch, going ham with serene personals, lucid performance bars and some stylistic (“Wait, he’s a religious dude, he ain’t felt a gat, plus a 5-percenter’s highest goal is to obtain peace, [click click] well, I could help with that!”; “No matter the outcome of this battle, I’m a have his wig get removed, man you Anderson Varejão, you about to get a ring whether you win or you lose!”) haymakers that clearly got the second round after he was edged in the first for being slightly less consistent (not to mention a couple of reaches) with his bars. 1-1 going into the 3rd, Xcel went straight for the fences with hard-hitting personals in between earnest (“You close to God right, [well] tell that nigga we need his fucking help!”) pontification’s that were perfectly set-up by stiff-armed (“I know, I know, I shouldn’t care about ideologies, ‘cuz cops is profiling us and trying to ID all the G’s [ideologies]!”) spiritual postulations…no soapbox needed. That said, credit Loso for still coming prepared with a fire 3rd round that probably would’ve beaten most, all the while showcasing his durability and ability to turn his opponent’s strengths around on them. Still, with Xcel taking the 1st and 3rd rounds here, with a little too much filler mixed in with his harder bars, on thi day the Christian rapper’s fortitude wouldn’t quite be enough.
Verdict: Xcel: (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “He had gun bars too, but I can’t say he can’t squeeze the thang, because Christians been killing nigga’s forever in Jesus’ name!”
Recap: A slightly cleaner flow, consistently efficient with the bars and more versatility with the punches allows Gauge to edge this 1-round Go-Rilla Warfare battle against a pretty solid, but not as steady with it B Magic.
Verdict: Gauge (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Gauge – “When you die tell the devil to forward my mail, you know you bogus when you get the cold shoulder in hell!”
Recap: From Go-Rilla Warfare, with a steady barrage of aggressive mayhem, hard-hitting punchlines and gritty personals, Docious handily takes rounds 1 and 2 for the win over a mostly pedestrian Bill Collector become BC steps up his punch-game in round 3 to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Docious (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Docious – “See, when it’s grind time, I tell my nigga’s grab them weapons, class in session, we all about that cash progression, bunch of nigga’s itching to ball like they crab infested!”
Recap: Even with a slip-up towards the end, in a last-minute, one-rounder on the RBE stage, QB with a much cleaner round than her opponent, continuously spits fiery (“I’ll throw a dildo in your son room and watch him act his daddy, nigga!”) disrespectful darts to outshine a humbled Showoff.
Verdict: QB (W) 1-0
Favorite line: QB – “So why the fuck you want to bring the drama to me?, I ran up on Show [raises arm like gun] like this the show I wanted to see!”
Recap: Good shit indeed as Fettuccine 20 and Ryda go blow for blow and keep it competitive throughout this too-close-to-call PG battle. The more bar and (“If I get Paid In Full for the hit, then I’m coming through with two new cigs, ya ace will walk in and find you dead, welcome to Lulu’s crib!”) punch-heavy Ryda (tho he did have some reaches) had more haymakers in round’s one and two, but only won the 1st thanks to more intricate schemes and a slightly higher bar quotient from (“Let me catch y’all niggas in the kitchen, while y’all whipping it all up. I’ll be a broke nigga in tax season, the first thing I’m doing is [waves arms like shooting guns] hitting them all up!; “Get out of line, a couple of bucks will straighten him out, that’s a Posture Fee!”) Fettuccine. 3rd round, came with huge replay value as both battlers stepped it up and came with hard aggressive lines, some ill (Ryda: “Didn’t you used to rep the Trap?, oh nigga they used to be buzzing, now it’s just a bunch if no-shows and some free vodka….ain’t that somethin’!”) personals, more dizzying haymakers and some crazy (Fettuccine20: “I blast off, any situation I got a gun involved, it’s just ironic, I had a blast but it wasn’t fun at all!”) wordplay…and that’s why at the end you can go either way.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Ryda – “You was all on Facebook loud, talking about ‘that nigga Ryda not believable’,cool, till they gotta pull back that white sheet and ya mama can’t believe it’s you!”
Recap: Damn, the way Fiirst Ladii Flamez goes from calm, laid back mode while smoking a blunt to flicking on the switch and straight spazzing on you vocally with such flippant aggression is a sight to see. That said, Flamez would need all the heat she could bring with her as opponent Rozay Ro (in this fiery 3-rounder from BossChickTV) definitely came to compete with a brazen bag of flexing/witty punchlines/personals and solid name flips to boot. Still, for all of Ro’s persistent flexing, Flamez would beat her to the punch with consistently fire wordplay, piercing gun bars, righteous boasts and stinging 4-bar set-ups to earn the 30.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “See, your problem is, you actually thinking you safe, but a sheep don’t know it’s dinner till a wolf in its way!”
Recap: Considering their recent sordid history it only made sense for K-Shine and Charron to settle their differences in the ring and John John da Don gives them the opportunity via his Bullpen Battle Leagues (major props to whoever does the edits btw, that shit is not only unique but fire!!!). K-Shine gets off to a hot start in round one, killing it with repeated verbal heat that consistently (“Ladder on the side on his house, I’m [points at Charron’s head] about to fix his roof!”; “Fuck is up?, smacking my hat, that’s what you wanna do?, the first time was a shitty situation, don’t make this a number two!”) landed…hard. And while Charron dropped a dope Pokemon rebuttal along with some crazy (“Last time he called ny bluff, he was decking me quickly, but I’m a 17 in blackjack, you gonna regret that you hit me!”) punches and personals that hit, a little too much filler gave the edge to Shine. Round two was a clear win Charron as despite a nice rebuttal and aggressive wordplay from Shine, a couple of slip-ups and shortened turn stood little chance when faced with Charron’s feelgood crowd-pleasers, Slim Jesus spiels and witty (“Listen pipsqueak, when you see this midget 6-feet, it won’t be a growth spurt!”) bars. Going into the last round, both battlers spit enough fire to show that they came to win in what ended being a really good battle, K-Shine, back in his bag after a substandard 2nd round, brought steady punches (“Kyrie and Lebron, I could’ve said ‘cuz it made your warrior sleep, but it’s ‘cuz you think it’s a game 5 till you get this .40 a piece!”) that landed and an ill performance that combined with a couple of (“I’ll give his back shells, like Ninja turtles, I got the ooze [oooh’s] boy you better go ask Stella I got the groove, switch hands, young Mick Jagger, I got the moves, cooking with this Mac in the box, i got the blues!”) haymakers, could’ve had anyone thinking he’d win the round. But Charron proved to be equal to the task as the self-named “URL Killer” stood the test again with more (“I thought I knew this crowd like I knew the palm of your hand!”) self deprecating humor and continued personals that hit. All told, call it even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Charron – “Desert eagle, A-R, i ain’t saying I got that work, I’m just listing Gun Titles to give him flashbacks of Roc and Surf!”
Recap: Even with a 1st round choke messing a bit with his popping-veteran-schooling-the-fledging-rapper angle throughout the battle, Cortez still manages to comeback, add some witty personals, righteous gun bars and scathing punchlines to his plate in the latter rounds, while also taking advantage of a Jai 400 Block who didn’t have near the robustness to his raps in rounds 2 and 3 as he did prior, thus helping Cortez gain the win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “A brand new .40 will make this nigga die young if he don’t act his age!”
Recap: The true definition of a ‘different nigga’ the always ubiquitous Daylyt delivers a solid (“You thought you would get a head [ahead] swell, dude not today, two hands clapped in front of ya dome, Guess you forgot to pray!”; “Long arm [extends hand out] behind this square, get you a Doctor, J!”) 1st round here against J Murda before succumbing to (“They schooling the victims, the more you think you smart, the more that get dumb, the history books that you pick up is HIS story books that you pick up”) flighty philosophical rants, rudimentary antics and nonsensical bars in the 2nd (a round he admitted to ‘sacrificing’) and 3rd. Still, Daylyt’s hijinks aside and perhaps inspired by his opponent’s oft-conjectural bars, Murda displays a more performance-heavy side that along his usual gift for aggressive (“Things change, he’ll get dragged in air like Ricky Bobby in his spaceship…then turned up under the streets like there’s a party in the basement!”) wordplay, festive street drama and righteous gun bars, combine for a come-from-behind win over the guy with the tat on his face.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda – “What I can do is walk up like ‘hi nigga’ with the steel pipe, I’ll let it flame for 8 days straight…the shit is real, light [Lyt]!”
Recap: First, props to Pharoah for the fire Nia Long jogging performance bar (a beautiful scene that over the years hasn’t quite gotten the love it deserves when you consider the shitload of Friday lines you’ve heard in battles). Other than that this 1-rounder was all Steams, who beats back a solid showing by his opponent with a raucous turn that featured spitfire punchlines, salacious name flips, rigid personals and some robust wordplay.
Verdict: Steams (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Steams – “Pharoah just here watching a star like his ancestors!”
Recap: Even with tools like props, set-ups and name flips at his disposal, Sky’s mostly pedestrian lines are no match for Skates way more potent hardbody punches, righteous wordplay, rugged name flips and steady heat in this 3-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Skates (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Skates – “Nothing subliminal about these shots, when I sneak dissing [this in]!”
Recap: Rebounding from the clear URL loss to T-Top, Math Hoffa gets back to basics, combining righteous jokes with aggressive punchlines, real-life semantics and resident (“I’ll hit this pussy so hard, I’ll bring his period down!”) bully bars to score an easy 3-0 over S.O.N.S.’ often forgotten member Luciano Crakk, who sadly after all these years, still has trouble putting together 3 clean rounds in a battle.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “You in the mafia?, oh please, you sold crack? I bet it was on both knees!”
Recap: As the old sports adage goes: ‘This is why you play the game’. Surmising that very few (outside of his hardcore fans) had Cortez winning this match against an elite punchline feen like Bigg K (not to mention a shorter time limit that strategically speaking clearly works in K’s favor), Cortez steps back in vet mode, reminds everyone of his ‘Top Tier’ status in the game and pulls off the win. First round is close with K aggressively (“You more than fake, gassed at a quarter tank, got your wife’s hair [hare] in my lap like the tortoise race!”) punching and name flipping with persistent fire, but a confident looking Tez gives it right back with fiery (“Fuck you, s*ck my dick, yeah I said it G, honky, blow on a sack [sax], who said Kenny G?!”) wordplay and stifling (“Everybody want to be Blood, till there’s a trail of that!”) bars that continuously landed in what turned out to be a flawless turn. Despite Cortez going longer with another (“I taught you everything you know K, I gave you tips, you obey, they put Duke on court…makes sense, I used to coach K!”) hardbody round, a higher bar quotient along with more scintillating (“Bounce, I’m unruly, two hands on one uzi, this clip will bring the bitch out Cort [court]…Judge Judy!”) punches and potent personals gives the still-drenched-in-unsportsmanlike-conduct Bigg K the second round easy. Going into the last round tied, K pretty much gives up the round (and as it turned out, the battle) surprisingly stopping short (or choking) after like half a minute of spitting, leaving his only chance of winning coming via his opponent choking. But Tez (who outside of writing a little too much per the time limits, clearly prepared well for his battle), delivers a solid (“Yeah nigga, so what, you want it, yeah? high shots, five shots, why?, I ain’t choke but why not?, this is a body on cam, now y’all get it…white cop”) round with nary slip-up, to pull off the victory.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Listen here Julio, I don’t care who you know, I hope Trump builds that wall and it can keep you out the studio!”
Recap: Against an Eazy The Block Captain who clearly had an off day what with all the mediocre punches he was throwing and in front of a noisy Trap NY crowd that didn’t seem to give a two fucks that a battle was taking place, J Krooger still has an easy time of it, using a gang of fierce punchlines/storytelling bars, righteous street missives and rigid set-ups/gun bars to gain the 30.
Verdict: J Krooger (W) 3-0
Favorite line: J Krooger – “Even when I’m outnumbered the .9 ate [8] nigga’s until the odds was even!”
Recap: For a couple of rounds anyway, Mr. Mills steady mix of vociferous (“You don’t get no love [makes like gun at JC’s head] from the Pop, you must be the second child!”) punchlines, name flips and fleetingly ambitions angles are enough to keep up with JC’s wicked pen game. However, after yet another solid (“I’m me everywhere, you gotta acknowledge that, if I don’t got the strap, my son on top of the arm like a Rasheed Wallace tat!”) round by JC, a surprising 3rd round choke by Mills does him in and hands his opponent the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “This wasn’t the best decision, direction’s missing, and that’s something I hate to see, Birdman with the respect [Respek], when I use the ‘K’, you know it came from me!”
Recap: Closer than what outcome states, as Cedarside Mone dished some hot (“Big eagle, with two lasers, I let that hammer fire, that’s [points at Ty’s head like gun] a desi with two i’s [eyes], I’m trying to spell Desiigner!”) lines here and there. But some lame name flips, righteous filler and Ty Law’s consistently nice wordplay, crazy (“It ain’t no blocking this ratchet, like when ya mom stalk me!”) jokes and fierce (“This dude pen is saying that he only should watch, folks you jock, I’m on they heels like the hole in ya sock!”; “…like ya bitch making orgasms, the moan fake as shit!”) punchlines were too much to overcome in this matchup from Bar4BarRapBattles.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “Caught me crankin’ his chick, the slut skated, I grabbed my strap before I grabbed my drawers…pause, I’ll [extends arm like gun] buck naked!”
Recap: Confidence is one thing, but name-dropping and laughing at your own jokes are another. Still, for all of Cali Smoov’s pompousness throughout this battle, a pretty lackluster Profecy didn’t do much to abate his opponent’s arrogance. Still, after easily losing the 1st round to a more punch-heavy (“You Profecy [prophecy], you should no a [Noah] nigga split with the staff!”) Smoov and waking up during the middle of the 2nd round to force a tie, the condensed, yet usually wordplay and punchline-centric Profecy fully gets his groove back to take the 3rd and gain a draw over an opponent whose bars weren’t as hot as he’d like you to think.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Profecy – “And y’all gonna thank me after, Krack City done got it backwards, Dizaster don’t know who he facing in Cali…Cali don’t know he facing a disaster!”
Recap: Against the Grind Time Cortez, Franchise’s almost exclusive, one-themed braggadocio quips and guns (“Big scope, best view of court [Cort], that’s floor seats!”) bars (during the first couple of rounds at least) might’ve worked in the sense that that version of Cortez was pretty much made from the same cloth. But in 2016, a more diversified Cortez is much harder to beat, especially when he’s spitting repeated (“We could scrap, ‘cuz with these hands, I’ll lay ya, but if he lack, he’ll get the Mac’s, since you want to be the Franchise player!”) heat, delicious wordplay and name flips as he does here. Thankfully, for battle rap future anyway, Franchise displayed a better assortment of bars in the last round, but by then, what with Tez’s continuous brazenness, it was way too late.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “It’s crazy, this guppy, one hook will have him scaling back, spine shot Baah!, where he at?, nah he can’t walk, he paralyzed, aw fuck it, they got chairs for that!”
Recap: No excuses here as (“Y’all go harder, but I troll smarter, in teh net I get nigga’s goin’ from a distance…remote starter”) Aye Verb, seemingly here just to collect a paycheck, stumbles through his short turn and delivers little on the performance tip against a way more versatile and (“I’m just trying to get it for all the nigga’s that know me best. took the whole weight of the world and did a shoulder press!”) fiery D.I. Da Hennyman in this one-rounder from Do or Die Battle League.
Verdict: D.I. Da Hennyman (W) 1-0
Favorite line: D.I. Da Hennyman – “And you still chasing Loaded, [but] he don’t like you neither, he battle niggas like Mook, you battle niggas like me bruh”
Recap: Slow-strutting with fiery punchline after punchline while mixing in some straight-ahead/measured personals and flashy local-isms to let you know that he did his research, a visiting Yung Griz edges the first couple of rounds here over smiley and less consistent local Federal Way, WA, hero Jey The Nitewing to get the win before suffering from a few hiccups in the 3rd, thus allowing his cleaner opponent to avoid the 30.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “I stunt wherever, that’s par core, one shot from the eagle, that’s a par 4!”
Recap: If Bill Collector’s really trying to find a new home outside of Smack/URL, he’s going to have to stay focused and do way better than this. As an erratic and too-often subdued (for him anyway) performance makes way for a sometimes lowkey funny, but often times inconsistent showing from opponent J Pro, who still does enough to take the first two rounds over BC and hold on for the win.
Verdict: J Pro (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J Pro – “You don’t know who ya fucking with…sex on Tinder!”
Recap: An aggressive, (“You’re 22, a grown man, your mother want you out of her home!”) scheme-heavy Haixian splits the first two rounds with (“Keg stand, this bitch get lifted upside down with a barrel in a mouth!”; “All the DMV good for is taking head shits when they giving you plates!”) rapid puncher/performance-feen Teewhy in this PG battle from URL/Smack. Leaving it to the 3rd to decide matters, while Teewhy’s educational-themed bars made their points, it’s Haixian who switches up with a more consistently (“Head wound, what you ain’t peep the line?, this fake cake getting his ass shot for being a week behind!”) nice bar/punch-fest to take it in the end.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Haixian – “We set him up, told this nigga to get in the ride, my partner told don’t kill him, we letting him slide, he got out, then I got out, Tee mind is two seconds behind…[BOW!!!], he don’t know he dead, Tee mind is two seconds behind!”
Recap: A more consistent, comedic (“Look, bloated Lux!”) and versatile The Deadman takes the first two rounds easy from a nice (“Nigga, if I’m fat because God hates me, it’s only right that I baptize you in a pool of blood!”) at times, but sometimes lackadaisical Big Kannon and wins this 3-rounder from KOTD.
Verdict: The Deadman (W) 2-1
Favorite line: The Deadman – “We pop them things, for in Eur [foreigner] like we strangers, the second round?, pops in the face like a teenager, the 3rd round?…forget about it, Qleen Paper!”
Recap: Shotgun Suge takes advantage of time limits (hey, if that’s what they agreed to beforehand then it is what it is) an elongated, but (“I got a new .40, the clip hanging out the butt like a tampon string!”; “Even though I still got the steel cocked, sometimes I just let it run across your mind like Jill Scott!”) sizzling a times (yet too one-dimensional) Brizz Rawsteen, makes more efficient use of his time with some wild (“He get this biscuit for free, it’s complimentary, I’ll follow him around, I’m shooting a documentary!”) haymakers throughout his three rounds that coupled with more consistently fiery bars and a versatile approach, gets Jersey the win.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Where I’m from this shit Afghani, Iraq, this shit Baghdad…bye Brizz [points finger like gun under Brizz’s chin] you a shot away from being a hashtag!”
Recap: A little on the long side time-wise, but still a mostly fiery and definitely entertaining battle between Serius Jones and Jimz on the RBE stage comes down to who ends up running out of gas at the finish line. In this case, it’s Jones, who after a braggadocios and a little preachy, but still pretty solid 1st round that rocked with a few (“‘Cuz fans be blowing, so even when you hot, they can’t feel it ‘cuz they ears conditioned!”) haymakers, managing to beat a solid and sometimes witty, but at times reaching and not always directed at his opponent turn by Jimz, simply couldn’t match his opening round theatrics, while Jimz would up his verbal ante. That would start in the 2nd round, where Mr. Stop Being Dirty would continuously flex with gritty (“Just ‘cuz he got a razor it don’t mean he out scarring on the block, we ain’t never seen you cut nobody, you the new barber in the shop!”) punchlines, some fire wordplay and heated personals/schemes. On the other hand, while the effort was there, Jones’ lack of consistency, intricacy with his punches, over-the-top sermonizing and usage of too many dated bars/filler would hurt him in both the 2nd and 3rd rounds. All the while with Jimz keeping his foot on his opponent’s neck via a boatload of mocking personals, solid schemes and hitting punches, even if his angles weren’t always on point, altogether it was still enough to edge the battle.
Verdict: Jimz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jimz – “Jimz is dispenseful and right now I’m sitting on something special…thanks Oprah!”
Recap: A typically hyped Xcel uses a barrage of heated systematic punchlines and wordplay to remind a light-bar-heavy Drastik of ‘who he’s rhyming with’ in this one-sided, one-rounder from TrapHouseNY.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “I feel friction, you think Fresh Prince, we will air you, one round Will move your whole landscape…don’t make me give Will barrels [wheelbarrows]!”
Recap: Brooklyn Carter gets a nice road win, stealing on opponent Fliiko L with a steady stream of righteous punchlines and vociferous (“Oh I get it, he more like a leprechaun in a drought…out of luck!”) set-ups throughout his 3 rounds. That’s a well-earned win in this book as for all of Fliiko L’s confidence, after a close 1st, the few (“You could die from the set-up, it’s a conspiracy!”) shiners he managed to spit were surrounded by way too many basic bars in an elongated 2nd and 3rd.
Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “No Saga, I keep my palm greased!”
Recap: Plenty of righteous punches, flinging mayhem, esoteric zingers and nifty wordplay in this 3-rounder from For MC’s By MC’s between Jey The Nitewing and Blasphem-E (aka ‘Red Shirt Mike’). And while Mike held his own with a consistently solid showing, the more intricate and punch-heavy Nitewing takes all 3 rounds for the win.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Dude’s a muffin, said he was gonna black-eye, we knew you was bluffing, lying about how he fell like he got an abusive husband!”
Recap: Missy Elliott flips, stifling performance bars, witty personals and megalomaniac gun bars, for Mack Mel it’s all there in this one-rounder versus a solid and gritty, but not quite as potent and less versatile Al 40 Cal.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “The king of Queens, fucking with the God will be your worst day bitch, ‘cuz all you’ll see is the pound on the arm, like birthday hits!”
Recap: A somewhat surprising Math Hoffa choke and T Top’s relentless personals and hard-hitting punches in rounds 2 and 3 gives the Parklife colonel a victory in this quasi-dope 3-rounder from Smack/URL. Math, who still showed up and can’t be knocked for being a little distracted considering he had a baby that same morning, edged round one with a more condensed and (“4 glocks, catch this fat nigga in the coke spot, twist him with all 4 burners, that’s how you stove Top!”) hard barfest that hit at a higher ratio than Top’s (“They called me, say Math trying to get back on Smack, I said ‘cool’, I’m used to putting nigga’s back on smack!”) storytelling-drenched, but elongated and laborious 1st round. Round two was a clear body for Top, who while continuing to dish hard on old themes/name flips associated with his opponent, mixed in some more recent drama surrounding Math (i.e. Chris Unbias and Taxstone beef) and niftly threw in his renowned drug talk with urban (“Glock 40, can you read the serial Math?, if not I’ll jam the numbers in ya head, that’s Miracle Math!”) street flair to easily even things up (the aforementioned Math choke non-withstanding). With momentum on his side going into the last round, Top went for the kill and more than delivered, spouting a brutal, edgy and classic turn via seismic (“I bet he ain’t been the same since the Arabs whooped him, now when he in all the corner stores, it feel like the all the Arabs looking, hey the bitch won’t even order a sandwich if the Arabs cooking, he go to the Popi store and say the Arabs crooked!”) haymakers, aggressive (“You went to Cali without your gun?, that’s a bad move, you always supposed to carry your one, that’s a Math rule!”) personals and fiery (“…BOW! That’s for getting stole in the mouth!”) performance bars to beat what was an at times funny and (“Nigga, suck a dick, just like your mother used to do, to get another hit!”) solid, but ultimately a little too laborious turn by Hoffa. Hopefully Hoffa, who seemed to be hinting at quitting battle rap at the end of this battle, can come back less distracted while getting the match-ups he really wants/deserves, if he chooses to return.
Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I told NuNu I wanted Top, she ain’t understand!”
Recap: Dope 1-rounder from Montreal’s DMS Battle League sees the slightly more haymaker-lit DNA use a gang of spicy name flips and hard-hitting punchlines to get by a pretty solid punching effort from local battler Krome.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “See, Krome his own man, but I’m a spank him either way, you think you could beat a nigger from the X, why when you was made by DNA!”
Recap: Close and mostly fire battle between QB and O’fficial hits on a variety of cylinders including some nice schemes, downright (QB: “You old q whore slut, type of bitch that let Nuborn fuck!”) mean and witty personals, feisty (O’fficial: “So go ahead and grab a stick, I wish this bitch would, [points arm extended like a gun] shotgun in her mouth like she trying to kiss Suge!”) gun bars, fierce punchlines and salacious wordplay. However, tied going into the 3rd with QB dropping more haymakers to take round one, before a more condensed and potent overall O’fficial takes the 2nd round, even with an elongated turn and a solid run by her opponent, it’s QB (who overall in this battle wasn’t as disrespectful as we’re usually used to seeing) who drops a couple of spicy rebuttals to edge the round and gain the win.
Verdict: QB (W) 2-1
Favorite line: QB – “You talk about when I ain’t got the strap, I used the pickle, bitch I’d rather use a banana!”
Recap: Both Born and Craig Lamar drop deliciously hot bars throughout this one-rounder from Enter the Dungeon Battle Rap League. Born’s use of exquisite (“Bullets embark on temples like a pilgrimage!”; “I could see the ‘lil bitch in nigga’s genes [jeans]..Dej Loaf!”) punchlines, rich set-ups/wordplay and fiery name flips stayed consistently nice, while Lamar’s penchant for hard (“I’ll set these banger’s up in ya crib, you’ll get the surround sound by me, if you’re around town try me, I’mma set up at the back of ya whip, so when I get them pound rounds flying…bullets will do a number, on ya bumper, like ‘how’s my driving?!'”) schemes and stupendous (“You the colonel of ya crew?, well nigga I will pop corn b— you, and even when you die, I’ll still be waving at the ground…let’s make snow angels!”) anecdotes kept the match competitive. However, it’s Born who takes it in the end with a more consistent flow, more haymakers and less filler.
Verdict: Born (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Born – “I’m squeezing, leave him where I seen him at, Chinese food, you thought it was beef until it gave you a seasoned cat!”
Recap: Dope 1-round, style clash here as Free Murda’s straightforward, but also lyrical and hardbody lines take on the fiery, but also extra witty and enriched gun bars from Your Honor. A competitive battle that kept the crowd in tune throughout, flexing with more versatility, storylines and performance, Your Honor gets the edge here.
Verdict: Your Honor (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Your Honor – “I’ll take your banger, smack you with it, give it back and dare you to pull it!”
Recap: Was that a white flag thrown in there during the 3rd? Narrating on real street shit with extra flare and aggression, flexing with a host of elite gun bars, well lit with the fiery name flips and still nasty with the punchlines during a spitfire 3rd round what with a win already in hand, Geechi Gotti’s altogether hardbody bars make for an easy 30 over a solid at times, but overall clearly over-matched Yak da Rippa.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “When you die, in real life there’s no restart, head shot, put his brains in the road…the code word was ‘street smarts’!”
Recap: From KLBL, dope 1-rounder between DNA and battle vet Philly Swain, with the latter spitting a gang of those performance-heavy, rambunctious (“My flow colder than the foot that ain’t under the blanket!”) punches he’s long been known for only to get beat by the NWX capo’s consistently-lit 4-bar setups, mocking personals (that included a fire Philly-flow impression/sequence) and gritty wordplay.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “If I shoot hope your bitch beside you, get hype man, you gonna get the extra Oooh’s like Gwitty by you!”
Recap: Coming off a strong Proving Grounds performance against Jerry West, Bangz takes on DNA on the KOTD stage and unfortunately takes a step back battle-wise, literally getting schooled in wordplay, freestyles and most of all showmanship. Not that Bangz didn’t show up, as his requisite unorthodox style and delivery at times (“And you done walked into the lion’s den, I’ll fire, then put knives in him faggot, that is not a chink in your armor… you just have the chest of a chinaman!”) glistened. But in front of a crowd that often had a hard time catching up to his unique presentation, the newcomer let the hecklers get to him and thus, wasn’t able to perform at his best. And as veterans are apt to do, DNA with a solid flow, dope (“You wanted the old DNA, [well] I’m a different version, he died as soon as I shoulder straps, Mr. Perfect!”; “Since you ain’t want to put Respek on my name, it’s about time you see the God! [Charlamagne tha God]”) punchlines/jokes and crazy versatility with the bars throughout all 3 rounds, more than took advantage of his opponent’s subpar showing to score an easy 3-0.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “You’ll hear two bangs after Bangz soon as the Tek pop, they don’t know if the shooter was Don DeMarco or Craig’s pops!”
Recap: Here we see the always competitive Showoff impressing with his usual (“Yo Bigg K?, just a bitch that be acting, he Gwyneth Paltrow, one thing y’all need to know about Show I only aim for the head, either put a bullet where his scalp go or face shot, that boy gonna whistle with his mouth close!”; “You a bitch that fear eye contact, you floor watcher!”) vigor, thematic aggression and urban flair–all the while staying away from lazy race angles. But too much filler and the combo of Bigg K, even at an ‘away game’ (when you consider that RBE is his opponent’s main stage), with a steady stream of prideful punchlines, witty (“When you out here it’s ‘Yo son!’, when you go home it’s ‘Yo diirrty!”) jokes/personals, festive (“I’ll [points hand like gun at Show’s head] shoot Show in the basement, Wayne’s World!”) name flips and scheming wordplay proves more than enough to take rounds 1 and 3 along with the win.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Call me a white devil, say y’all the original man like that’s scaring me, I’ll run you over with a jeep…now your ass half Cherokee!”
Recap: A little more consistent overall, Holmzie da God also uses some fiery gun lines, potent wordplay/schemes and steely name flips to survive the frequent and aggressive stylings of Hilife, who also kept things close and impressed with a couple of dope rebuttals.
Verdict: Holmzie da God (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Holmzie da God – “That’s how I handle mine’s, he could get the whole damn Smith and wherever he lays he won’t get up…he got no ambition!”
Recap: A rematch from their classic battle a handful of years back, Dizaster and DNA go at it again for one round here on KOTD with the added surprise of Diz being unaware of who he’d be facing pre-battle. And with one battler coming in prepared for who he’d face and the other having no such knowledge, the advantage would clearly go to DNA, right? Well, think again as after DNA resorts to a plethora of redundant name flips and even some pedestrian bars when he wasn’t spouting some solid punches along with an amiable Dizaster impression during his turn, Diz just showed off his repertoire. The always boisterous and combative West-coast legend loading up with a consistent gang of potent freestyles, witty personals, gritty rap tutprials and hard-hitting punchlines to take this one pretty easy.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Fucking weirdo, now that it’s you I have to devise a new game plan,
‘cuz I’m a battling a dude with a IQ of a fucking Geicco Cave man!”
Recap: Putting aside an inconsistent Al 40 Cal’s gritty and sometimes unintentionally (“Loyalty is when a nigger take a bullet for you…and die!”) funny bars, Brooklyn Carter, consistent with the heat throughout and dropping caustic mayhem along with aggressive name flips/schemes during a slow-to-build-up, but inevitably fire turn, easily takes this 1-rounder from WeGoHardTV.
Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “You know your Math, you know how to subtract and add?, well if I let off a round off this .38, it’s still hitting 40!”
Recap: After just getting edged via some hard (“The smif coming out of the shirt more than J.R. after the Finals!”) punches/schemes, crafty wit and nice rebuttals by Charlie Clips in the 1st round, an aggressively shining Rum Nitty not only steps up his punchline (“Chuck’s getting laced up by a West-coast nigga…it’s nothing new!”) game, but also flexes with heated gun bars and some spirited wordplay in a spitfire 2nd that beat back a hit-n-miss turn by Clips. Already on his opponent’s neck with spicy bar after bar, Nitty continued with more of the same stinging punches/set-ups/personals/gun lines in the deciding 3rd round and while his final round wasn’t quite as potent as his previous turn, Rum still delivered with more than enough vigor to easily back a often solid, but a little less prepared and too-redundant-with-the-freestyles/name flips turn by Clips.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Flavor of Love, this pump can [Pumpkin] spit on this New York bitch!”
Recap: 1-rounder from Body Bag Battle League finds an elongated, but gritty Alias delivering a pretty solid mix of fiery gun lines, stunted performance heat and some piercing punchlines/personals. But after a long wait, a confident Bonnie goes in and gets busy with it, spouting a ridiculous and steady mix of stifling personals, hard-hitting braggadocios darts, stinging wordplay and piercing punchlines to earn the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Your name is Alias The Unknown, I heard of getting caught with a bad name, but to me you got the worst case, why the fuck you got an Alias for if you was unknown in the first place?!”
Recap: Competitive and close throughout, both Bonus and Yaboy Clip make quick work with steady punchlines, raging gun bars and fiery personals to keep all the light-skin lovers out there tuned in. Still, for all of Clip’s drawn-out punches and the fortitude to highlight the battle on live video, a stronger overall and more condensed turn by Bonus in the deciding 3rd round gives the Loud Boy the vic.
Verdict: Bonus (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonus – “Fuck an emergency exit, I don’t need to see fire to pull the handle!”
Recap: It’s pretty much an easy lay up for the veteran Charlie Clips versus rookie spitter Awthentic here in this one-rounder from UDubb. Going first, Awthentic remains solid throughout with repeated (“Gun bar God, so I gotta put a rest to Tay Rock, he’ll get shot running on the beach while his Baywatch [bae watch]”!) punches that often land. However, his lack of versatility with the bars and any haymakers stands out and against a vet like Clips, that’s a huge no-no. Thus dishing a nice combo of nimble (“My work is Ivy league schools, y’all don’t get it till I shake it well, I got the Brown from Columbia, one sniff will make him Yale [yell]”!) schemes, charismatic name flips and righteous gun raps, it’s another day at the office for Clips.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Al Bundy, I got my dog getting bucks, ‘cuz he watching the Bud until it’s overgrown, I’m in the hood charging 3 for the white because of Post Malone”
Recap: Mostly making use of (“You mad sweet, only time Chef peel off with the burners is [for] banana souffle!”) jokes, it’s an oft-solid turn by UK rapper Magz, but Chef Trez’s stifling barrage of rich jokes, delicious set-ups, aggressive (“I got a Mag and a mag for ya bitch, either I’m fucking something or I’m clutching something!”), name flips and fiending wordplay prove to be too much in this one-rounder from Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Your sister a thot, she could suck the evil out of Ouija boards!”
Recap: Legendary Battle League 1-rounder between a gun bar-heavy K Smoove and Bill Collector goes the Collector’s way as the PA vet’s consistently spicy punchlines score with just enough grit and variety to beat back a pretty solid and oft-piercing effort from Smoove.
Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bill Collector – “You lukewarm, I been scorching, this kid not touching the pen like informants!”
Recap: Pretty sure Loso could’ve made whatever point he was trying to make in the 3rd round without bringing up his opponent’s dead kid. But other than that minor misstep, via a gang of fiery punchlines, rousing name flips/personals, robust schemes/wordplay and some righteous sermonizing, the rising Christian battle rapper displays nary a flaw while easily scoring a 30 over the mostly mediocre punches of Barry Bandz.
Verdict: Loso (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Loso – “Oh, but wait, Loso turned down a Proving Ground, that was true, that was facts in a manner, I just figured why got to New York for a PG when I could Smack you in Atlanta!”
Recap: Round one turns out to be the difference maker in this entertaining matchup between Cyssero and Bill Collector. Prone to slip-ups in his most recent battles, Cyssero not only gets more pronounced and refined here, but along with dishing some nice animated bars, it’s the righteous (“Stop being Bill Collector, who’s a clown, and be Eric who’s more of a respectable nigga and you won’t have bitch-nigga problems, ‘cuz the real one’s will have more respect for ya nigga!”) ‘talking to’ that he puts on his opponent that edges him the opening round, despite a hot (“Battle rap Snapple fact, from the upper council, you Black Wallstreet and The Game don’t give a fact about you!”) turn from Bill. And Cys wasn’t done hyping the crowd there either as his second round, an elongated but steady stream of winsome punches and gritty (“So go head, play animal, I’ll bang it out and spark, he’ll go to sleep right after the shot…that’s a tranquilizer dart!”) gun bars that continuously landed, turned out to be Cyssero’s best round since his return to battle rap. With two straight rounds of consistent fire, by the time Bill (who pretty much took round two off) returned with repeated (“If you swing…[ducks down] wait a minute, if I swing…[points down] pavement!”) heat to take the latter round, it turned out to be a little too late.
Verdict: Cyssero (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cyssero – “I’ll bless you with so many bullets in ya neck region, you’ll belch and drop ya head in ya chest, now ya breastfeeding…”
Recap: Call this one a snap-fest, which doesn’t necessitate that it always get personal. Just Pnut and Bonnie Godiva going back-to-back-to-back with the punches (tho some fiery schemes wer also mixed in) for 3 rounds then taking it to the scoreboard to see who wins. In this case it’s the more consistently hard-hitting Pnut, who despite a pretty solid effort from Bonnie, used some sick wordplay and extra spicy/righteous personals to take the (1st round debatable) latter two rounds of this KOTD 3-rounder for the win.
Verdict: Pnut (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pnut – “I came here to wig on Bonnie…like that fucking wig on Bonnie!”
Recap: After splitting (Mic took the 1st while Ward got the 2nd) two rambunctious, lyrically heated and competitive rounds littered with plenty of dope punchlines, righteous schemes/boasts, fiery theological pontifications and piercing name flips, A. Ward and Saint Mic are left to settle things in a 3rd round that while punch-heavy on both sides, is won by a more condensed Mic’s more finessed wordplay and banging personals.
Verdict: Saint Mic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Saint Mic – “Look at his face, he gonna try and say he isn’t bothered, but he is, he starting to see the difference between his Creator and [slaps himself on the chest] his father!”
