No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: A robust ZigZag literally wilds out, dishing extended clips, residual (“Even if the medal ain’t round, you still getting beat…I love Go-go!”) shiners and flexing wordplay on a filler-drenched J Dose, who still after all these years later can’t survive the Math bars, much less the fake hand shakes.
Verdict: ZigZag (W) 3-0
Favorite line: ZigZag – “I got screws loose, I’m naturally with the shit…no prune juice!”
Recap: This Don’t Flop 1-rounder between Pat Stay and John John Da Don features a solid and competitive performance from both battlers. But with more intricacy to his bars, schemes and name flips, nice with the boastful punches, shining with his well-known sarcastic wit and dishing slightly less filler than his opponent (who as predicted by Pat, went with a race angles throughout his turn), it’s Pat Stay who gets the edge in this one.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “[pretending to be JJDD] ‘Yeah, white boy what you know about being poor and all you get to eat…is a gun!'”
Recap: In a battle from BBA that was only a bit competitive because Bill Collector never seemed to take it seriously, a zany punching and effortlessly freestyling BC also mixes in some mocking personals during his trio of rounds to score an easy 30 over a subpar Rob Da Rippa.
Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bill Collector – “4-5th to ya bitch’s lips, that’s extra gloss!”
Recap: In this matchup of Chicago versus the West-coast, Danny Myers does prove to be ‘Too much!” for Young Kannon, consistently dishing righteous (“I don’t know what in the fuck made you think you could see my nigga, a shot through a Chicago knee, is really the PG killer!”) metaphorical wordplay, fiery rebuttals, potent (“You ain’t worth a punch, I got something special for you, I’ll backhand you so hard, cops can use the echo for proof!”) bars, steady angles (“Tupac whupped Joe Torry ass, if y’all seen Poetic Justice then you’ll know how we do Chicago on the West coast!”; “Small errors in this city and your soul get lift, you won’t make it to your 60s, you better watch who you Rolling with!”) and even political briefings to beat what was an overall (“I’m a universal charger, I got a plug for everything!”) solid (but filler-prone, esp. in rounds 1 and 2) turn from the ever (“The only thing worse than your performance is your music!”) reliable YK. Indeed, still showing plenty of heart going into the 3rd round, it’s Kannon’s hard (“Back shot…have him walking like he 9 months pregnant!”) punches and a roundhouse of hitting (“You told Bigg K ‘my crew is like nigga’s in Italian suits, we got mob ties’, you a bitch trying to fit in with the killers, you the Mob Wives!”) personals that edges the 3rd after what looked to be an insurmountable (“I’ll let the .4 ring on his face like brass knuckles!”) turn from Myers.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I’ll come to the South side, aim at your throat and let the mill spark twice, them gonna be the ugliest shots in Chicago since Bill Cartwright!”
Recap: If hardbody personals are your thing then this sizzling 3-round bout between Real Deal and 100 Bulletz will more than fit your palette. To think, this isn’t even about 2 guys with a history of disliking each other as much as it’s about a couple of veteran battle rappers simply doing their research. And whether it’s Real Deal going after his opponent’s lack of a Top Tier status in the game or Bulletz going straight for the guts with allegations on Real Deal exploiting his family members deaths during rap battles, when it came to anything goes in battle rap, both competitors came with it. That said, a debatable 2nd and 3rd round makes for a deciding 1st round, which Real Deal dishing an elongated, but still potent and a bit more versatile turn that ultimately got him the win.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “I violate her with my spawn when I finish on her face, I got her eyeliner looking like a widow’s at a wake!”
Recap: Can’t knock Barz Major’s Michael Jackson impersonation, but other than that too many lackluster bars versus Jakkboy Maine’s consistently stellar (“You did that Shawn Michaels shit and then bodied the pose, do it again, 9 in the win, this M bodied the pose!”) performance bars and steely gun bars/punchlines makes for a complete domination in this one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “What you know about remodeling steel, putting this serial over this serial like we looking for bargain deals!”
Recap: It’s funny how much criticism Pat Stay gets for being…well, yunno a funny guy. Because yunno battle rap was created for the sole purpose of mean mugs, ice grills, gun bars and 6 Million Different Ways On How I Can Kill You. That’s it, right? Nah, screw that. There’s as much room for the Pat Stay’s, Charron’s, Tech-9’s and Charlie Clips of the world in battle rap as there are anybody else. It’s called diversity and that’s a good thing. So sure, give Serius Jones the 3rd round here, thanks in part to a boxing-themed, word association round that was pretty solid as well as a personal-driven, but one-dimensional Pat struggling mightily with his flow. But no matter what Jones tells you, that’s all he got here with a punchline-savvy, more intricate and yes comical Pat easily taking the 1st round, before also taking the 2nd with another well-crafted, personal and scathing turn that beat back what was an at times, punch-heavy, but largely inconsistent turn from Jones.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “It’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes, let him be honest with you, his pockets are tight and for a rapper his age this is the only thing profitable, there, it’s out, it’s cool dog, my pockets are too, think about it, why the fuck would I go from Hollow to you!”
Recap: Bedaffi Green hits with more than enough punches/name flips in the first two rounds to take this battle from a mostly staid Zig Zag. But what impresses most is Green’s ability to ably get through a 3rd round, he claimed didn’t write for, without any slip-ups, much less a choke.
Verdict: Bedaffi Green (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bedaffi Green – “My rap fashion sound like the Future, my flow Designer [Desiigner] like that!”
Recap: Ha Style (“Another guy to step, well the .44 won’t miss you, get wings from what’s outta that shell…that’s the Butterfly effect!”) and ReeveyTown (“Write your name on every bullet in the clip, you the hot topic!”) dish plenty of mayhem on each other, but it’s a performance-heavy and more consistent Mr. Styles who takes this one-rounder in the end.
Verdict: Ha Style (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ha Style – “My intellect is different, street talk, we could get into that, I don’t believe you, all I’m hearing is static like dial-up internet!”
Recap: Great job by Smack predicting a dope one before the battle as Rum Nitty and Ill Will came through with three fire, highly competitive, aggressive and haymaker-drenched rounds to not only warrant the URL league owner’s faith in them, but makes this one an arguable classic. That said, under normal circumstances and in a nod to how (“I was up in the hotel, loading rounds for cousin, big rounds I’m stuffing, they say Ill in the lobby, I grab the nose running, I’m coming down with something!”; “Steel out, hop out the van with that flying, the stick bodying Will [stick body in wheel] that’s a handicap sign!”) exquisite he was with the gun bars and mayhem (and even a few wily personals) throughout this matchup, Rum Nitty wins this battle. But clearly motivated and hyped (a little too hyped actually what with that strange 3rd round faux ‘press conference’) during the entire battle, a more versatile Ill Will, stunting with his own barrage of head-twisting (“Foldin’ yo’ whip, .22 to your daughter, .44 to yo’ bitch, then I give you a ring from another number like, ‘Bro’ I let my phone in your whip!'”) heat, piercing name flips/schemes, well-finessed wordplay, dizzying personals, witty darts and raucous (“My nigga Ray, from Finkle, Dan Marino bullets, accuracy no leeway, shit got his head hangin’ out the window while he driving…Ace Ventura on the freeway!”) punchline after punchlines with very few dry spots in-between, somehow manages to edge (call it a classic) a sublime-on-both-sides 1st round as well as an almost-as-spicy 2nd to get the win, before a debatable 3rd that was partly due to Will being a bit longwinded with his raps.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “Come outside and stack in my face, I’ll let a shell burst, break your hands and turn them C’s the other way…[turn to] Jaz you want a Chanel purse?!”
Recap: A loud and raucous Megadef backs up his brashness with a fresh load of pent-up punchlines and witty (“Your mom’s look like she half-bear, half-man, she got a grizzly Adam!”) personals, just enough to perhaps warrant a debatable in this one-rounder with a punch-heavy (“Partner chill, or this will buck, and leave his face on the other side of the building…like a dollar bill!”) Yung Griz. But seeing as flow counts in all these scrums, a couple of Griz slip-ups towards the end of his turn gives Magedef the win.
Verdict: Megadef (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Megadef – “Pick a fight, start to tussle, the cannon got a bigger bust than JaMarcus Russell!”
Recap: How far back do battle vets Arsonal and Cortez go? Think Grind Time and Lionz Den days. So it’s a wonder that it took ’em this long to meet up. And that’s a good thing as with Arsonal recently announcing that he’s retiring soon, for true battle rap heads it’s only right that these two go head-to-head before one of them leaves the scene for good. Got Arsonal taking the first round easy as while Cortez had a solid (“Everybody play vic [Vick], till you give ‘rm that dog treatment”) turn, da Rebel just turned in a richer performance mixed with (“…they could’ve at least hired you as a cook nigga, the food was Mexican!”) jokes/personals, imitations and fiery (“I’m from the bottom, I made miracles off crackers and tuna fish!”) bars that had you doubling over. Stressing more (“I’m Brooklyn, we wouldn’t want to be y’all, you faker than an ass out of D.R.!”; “I ain’t racist, but I’m putting every last nigga [nigger] in the ER!”) wordplay and heavy on the angles in round two, Cortez comes back nicely to even things up over what was another disrespectful (“I ain’t like the usual, little dirty nigger, kill you then show up to your funeral, just to tell your mother she look beautiful!”–RIP Tupac), but not quite as consistent round from Arsonal. Last round sees Cortez go for the kill, staying aggressive and delivering righteous (“I’m in Jersey with the .8 on court, like the old Kobe!”) punches and fierce (“….this is for real…I was on the couch with the ratchet like Netflix and chill!”) personals that landed hard. However, it’s Ars who comes right back and outpunches his opponent with a litany of braggadocio (“You just another square that put on the map…you remind me of Wyoming!”) bars and dope (“I get my coke from south of the border, I do pay you, so my specialty is crossing you over…I 2K you!”) punchlines to take it in the end.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal -“Ain’t no such thing as loyalty nigga, even the Verizon nigga work for Sprint now!”
Recap: 3-rounder from LABattleGrounz features a boatload of nice, hometown bars and hitting punches from Cali Smoov. But spotty wordplay here and there and generic bars that often failed to match an eccentric performance ends up dooming the West-coast rapper to a witty, more pointed, potent and consistently punch-heavy overall Marvwon, who takes rounds 1 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marvwon – “My shit is so stone cold, that you should hand me a beer…I will literally shoot you up if I could make Cadi appear!”
Recap: From Bar4Bar Rap Battle League, Bonnie Godiva and Queen Vixen both put on a competitive show for this 1-rounder with a gang of gritty punchlines, slinging metaphors, hitting personals and some catchy 4-bar set-ups. But a slow start by Vixen combined with more rigid mayhem by Bonnie, gives Ms. Godiva the win.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Your last month been nuthin’ but toy stories, he wouldn’t give you the wood, would he!?”
Recap: Get past host Norbes and Jazz the Rapper dressed in their PJ’s and way too many sights of Nu Jerzy Twork’s underwear and you’re left with a barfest of a PG battle between Jakkboy Maine and Drugz. Start with the fact that Drugz, steadily aggressive with surefest punches and gritty (“I’m showing him why Drugz is one of DMV’s well-known soldiers, when it’s wartime, you a cannibal late to dinner, you get the cold shoulder!”) shiners, did much of anything wrong in round 1, but an oft-understated, but highly polemic with fine-tuned (“These [points up two guns] like kids at a puddle, they jump across!”; “Gun up, but a big let down like something for what you wasn’t expected!”) gun bars Jakkboy did way more to take round one. If you thought the first round was fire, the second round was even better, but moreso for Drugz, whose steadier flow raucous gun bars and audacious (You was up there talking about my debatable’s right? knowing damn well you in a relationship with a debatable dyke!”), personals gained him a split going into round 3. Which while solid on both sides, significantly lacked the consistently flagrant verbiage of the previous two rounds and contained some stumbles from each battler as well, so call it even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “MJ impersonation, it ain’t right [points up fingers like gun] without the spin, 6th man, ya face will see ya backboard when ya meet the rim! !”
Recap: Danja Zone (“Your pencil is pitiful, shit my pen do is pivotal, appearance wise, fear for lives, see how I move without traveling…Jamiroquai!”) out-bars Quest Mcody in a close round 1. But Quest comes right back displaying more versatility with righteous (“Danja, swear to God you don’t live with your daddy….that’s ‘cuz I put you out bitch!”) jokes and (“You winning? nigga not today, he swing, he’ll get a knot today, pop and spray, he the future? cool, that’s not today!”) punches to even things up in round 2. Split going into the 3rd round, it’s all Danja, with personals that landed hard along with some nice (“Bitch, I’m fitting to smack you, they like ‘It’s just a battle!‘, [places arm under chin & waves] till I wave goodbye with the 5th to his chin like I’m a Little Rascal!”) performance bars and sizzling wordplay to earn the win.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “It’s no pick-n-roll, give-n-go, but you’ll still get shot off-screen like I’m reloading an arcade gun!”
Recap: In a battle that was supposed to take place a couple of years ago, while neither Ill Will or Arsonal really brought their A-game, they still put on a spirited show and kept it close throughout. Granted, one can forgive Will for too many times attempting to simulate his opponent (and that was George Foreman, not Frazier that Ali fought in Africa), Ars while aggressive, (“It’s 2016, all Pontiac’s are hooptie’s now!”) solid and (“You talk for no reason, like putting tattoos on a bitch, black nigga!”) comical at times, just dished too many predictable/pedestrian bars to match Will’s intense (“Wars, that’s what we be ’bout, talk the trap, you lose your teeth…that’s Jeezy mouth!”; “I burned new jersey’s quicker than Cleveland when Lebron left!”; “How ironic, I had something in the arsenal for Calicoe, but now I got something in the calico for Arsonal!”) shiners in rounds 1 and 2. And that was essentially the difference here as Arsonal avoided a 30 in round 3 by getting more (“Your bitch had a long ass day, look how her booty hang!”) personal in what was other wise a matchup that failed to meet its potential.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ill Will – “Your daughter look like a 54-year-old dad, nigga, when she was born she look like a scruffy little, funky shit…I bet one of your auntie’s nicknamed her ‘lil ugly bitch!”
Recap: We don’t go off of hype here. That said, Nu Jerzey Twork and Dougy’s debut on the URL stage goes the latter’s way as the Brooklyn rhymer explodes for almost 3 entire rounds (including a flawless 1st) with not only a gang of spitfire gun bars, but piercing (“Show you what the toolie do, banana clip, swing a monkey in ya window like Zoboomafoo!”) punchlines that showed off some excellent wordplay, some finessed personals and enough glaring trap shit to make you wary to go outside. Not that Twork didn’t hold his own tho, the much-heralded newbie shining for the most part with intricate (“I’m ballin, I get highlights often, Lorcin or a .9 might spark him, face shot, I pop eyes [Popeye] ‘Why I oughta!‘”) punches that often lit up the room, some head-ringing bully bars and his own performance-heavy and unique brand of lofty mayhem and righteous heat. Indeed, if not for Twork getting off to slow starts in both the 1st and 2nd round, coupled with some pedestrian bars here and there as well as a shortened 2nd that one could argue was actually a choke, this battle might’ve had a different outcome. But even with Twork consistently putting it all together in the 3rd round to edge a pretty solid turn by his opponent, by then, lyrically speaking this battle was already lost.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dougy – “I flipped my first pack at 12, my O.G. showed me the weed, 14 grams, my first pack was older than me!”
Recap: Quban takes advantage of 3 solid, but elongated rounds from Lu Castro with more condensed turns of rapid heat, stifling metaphors and spitfire punchlines to edge rounds 1 and 3 in this compettive battle from Showtime Battle Arena.
Verdict: Quban (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Quban – “I’m a catch outside of the club, he get intimate with a .38…a cougar showing him love!”
Recap: Even a nice, freestyle/word association 3rd round by Artillery Da God wasn’t enough to overcome a couple of shortened/flow-challenged/pedestrian rounds by ADG beforehand, much less an Eazy The Block Captain on his grind with a consistent barrage of fiery punchlines/gun bars, rugged trap talk and dope wordplay that altogether combined to handily take this Supreme Battle League 3-0.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Life ain’t fair, what you not learning?, both gun’s hold 24 so after the first 48 we are not searching!”
Recap: In this inter-gender matchup from KOTD, Bonnie Godiva serves up 3 pretty solid turns via a gang of nifty punchlines and oft-scathing shots at Charron’s manhood. But before a scintillating (and dick-checking) round by Bonnie allows her to take the final round, Charron already had this one in the bag, taking each of the opening rounds with a boatload of fiery personals, stifling punchlines of his own, stirring schemes and witty barbs that way more often than not made their mark.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “They put a scumbag verse a cum rag!”
Recap: Besides J-Murda arguing with O-Red (and afterwards awkwardly stepping in the battle to spit some freestyles at Nice) and somebody burping out loud in the mic, there’s nothing remarkable to see here as Xcel’s overall bars fail to meet his normal pedigree, while Nice spits just enough hard (“This league made you who were practically branded, left for URL, but lost on UFF, and them nigga’s left you stranded, we were confused, you were confused, couldn’t figure out where your brain is, started losing weight…I guess that’s why you switched to Organik [organic]!”) bars around an average lot to pull off a debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Xcel – “Body shots will fold this nigga up…Nice and neat!”
Recap: Didn’t know that Brixx Belvedere appeared on Smack/URL (w/o a co-signed league) before. And the fact that this video isn’t stamped with a URL logo on it doesn’t help one notice either. Nonetheless, still a solid battle with the nifty punchlines and wordplay of Brixx facing off against the prolific gun bar dishing and mayhem-drenched GE. A close battle throughout, with an almost equal amount of haymakers from each side dished throughout the bout, it’s a more condensed GE, helped too by a cleaner flow than his slip-up prone opponent, that edges rounds 1 and 2 (Round 3: debatable) for the win.
Verdict: GE (W) 2-1
Favorite line: GE – “I’m nice, I’ll walk you across the street and let a car hit you!”
Recap: Tink Tha Demon uses rambunctious punchlines and spirited (“You was raised by trans parents that blew [blue] stones, ain’t that a sapphire?”) wordplay to survive a couple of mid-round slip-ups and beat a solid (“…if that was me and my .9 ain’t barking, then I’ll put the silencer on that bitch like ‘don’t speak when a man is talking!”) at times Em_Are, in this one-rounder from Spittaz League.
Verdict: Tink Tha Demon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “The difference between us is an ‘It’ factor and I got it!”
Recap: A focused and undeterred Swave Sevah uses sizzling (“A demon is just a minion to the devil so…nigga, I’m a need to speak to your boss!”) name flips, raucous bully bars, fiery personals and a steady barrage of (“[BLOW!] oh the nigga got a slug proof?, [BLOW!] now he got a sunroof!”) heat to take out a (“Gather all of your family members in the living room….then tell them all they just ran out of living room!”) solid at times, but poor angle-drenched and too one-dimensional Tink Tha Demon in this battle from URL’s Born Legacy card. And tho Swave’s rambunctious, performance heavy (with an able assist from Th3 Saga) turn in round 3 (“Let any chump have it, semi’s, snubs, ‘matic’s, razor across your head like you 21 Savage!”) deservedly had the crown going bonkers, Tink’s understated wordplay, rich storytelling (“Mom left me in the streets like she was littering”; “As a child you took karate classes and played Sonic the Hedgehog, I was stealing work from my brother, busting traps, testing out a Mac on a dead dog, we play different!”) bars and step up in versatility was just enough to edge the round and avoid the 3-0.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “Pick one! Nigga choose wisely, let dude try me, trust me, this kid ain’t worried about nothing…Blue Ivy!”
Recap: Dishing proverbial (“Y’all see Wolf, I see a coat for the winter!”) wordplay, potent gun bars, nice angles and an epic 3rd round that spoke (“I just think your brain’s fly…LAX, Ice going over everybody’s head…ALS!”) directly to Head Ice’s penchant for nonsensical bars, Big T is able to fend off nice (“I’ll walk up on T like ‘Hey, give the charm up’!, you so fat that you willing to give me the money, but pitch me a fit ‘cuz you gotta put your arms up!”) but standard fat jokes in-between heated (“We don’t eat on china, but we eat off china!”) urban theatrics for a close win in what altogether was undoubtedly a fire battle from KOTD.
Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big T – “What is it about a nigga throwing up on eggs, make him less criminal minded?, is it because he in a jam and the toast ain’t beside it?”
Recap: Exquisite wordplay, fiery (“[points hand like gun at opponent’s head] Blow his body on the food and yell ‘Easy [Eezzy] on the sauce!'”) name flips and potent punchlines, it’s all there as Chef Trez makes quick work of a flow-ready, but substance-light NLS Eezzy.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’m head ripping, they don’t fuck with you, they send you on dead missions, you get the least support from your Family Guy, you Meg Griffin!”
Recap: Spreading raucous punches, frenzied schemes, fiery personals and a nice freestyle/rebuttal game throughout his travels, this time Dizaster lands in New Zealand and brings the heat to local rapper Skolar, who while making things competitive for 3 rounds with his own brand of witty anecdotes/personals and stinging punchlines, still couldn’t provide enough consistent heat to keep up with a research-oriented Dizaster’s overall more flexing performance.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You think ‘cuz of my background being Arab that I don’t play Rugby?, bitch I’m Middle Eastern I’ll bury you where my rub be [rugby]!”
Recap: The highly entertaining Riggz definitely gets downright (“Tell ya mother to chill, ‘cuz I’ll put a hot round in ya Earth Cor!”) ‘nasty’ at times, mixes in some real (“What you know about taking classes in Psychology, but the whole time you the one needing a psychologist?!”) rap talk and most likely becomes the first battle rapper fan give out a present to the fans in the middle of a bar. But a little too much filler along with schemes that didn’t quite hit as much as the crowd let on, plus a plethora of sanguine (“I’mma hit you with the long Tek’s [texts] like wifey when she mad!”) bars, rich storytelling lines, the usual confident (“You do everything I do, your whole style is through me fam, you steal my shit, I steal your shit, them toolies blam, look at him, the hugest fan, it’s proven damn, ain’t this the biggest clone in ATL since Gucci Mane!”) play with words and even a nice rebuttal at the start of the 3rd from Cortez, all combine to give the vet the win.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “John John you better have this North Carolina, country fuck muthufucka off court ‘cuz I’m a Tar Heels fan, that means fuck Duke if he’s on court [Cort]!”
Recap: The usually performance-heavy E Ness calms it down and switches it up, attempting to out-bar the never-lacking-for-confidence Jimz in this matchup on Trap House NY. But costly slip-ups in the 1st round and too many dated/lame bars throughout the battle eventually do Ness in. And while battle rappers do need to dead the tired E Ness Bad Boy ‘cheesecake’ references (and/or referring to the fight with Fred), indeed, even despite a solid (“You battled everybody in the world, you ain’t on Smack yet!”) 2nd from him opponent, Jimz more consistent (“A good pop, it’ll erase [raise] the kid [Bang! Bang!] didn’t feel like I needed a 3rd round like a lazy Clips!”) fire edges him that round and allows the Queens kid to get a rare 3-0.
Verdict: Jimz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jimz – “Yo, you asked for this, knowing that I pop triggers, hollow tips, cop killers, the air holes on a Tek look like the front of a croc slipper!”
Recap: Despite what seemed to be a lot of tension in the air at the start of the battle (liked the way Nunu stepped in and deaded that shit, quick), Cortez’s ready-made name flips, gritty (“By the way I’m in the mix with Arm and Hammers, is you cut like that?”) wordplay and potent struggle bars beats a (“Do you know where you at? that’s a no no, hood-hopping used to get nigga’s jumped in the Go-go!”) solid at times, but filler-prone Drugz in this one-rounder from Do Or Die Battle League.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “He talk about ‘ Yo I get bad bitches’, nigga who he fooling?, if a bitch swallow Drugz it only means she’s muling!”
Recap: Marvwon overcomes a 2nd round slip-up with (“I will beat shit down your leg and use your daughter’s face to wipe it, nigga!”; “Yours is in your click, mines don’t stop until it click, nigga the bangs [Bangz] different!”) hard, aggressive bars, disarming personals and a bunch of real talk (“I’m pissed because what take us years to build take you a second to demolish!”) ‘Big Brother’isms to take the 3rd round and edge the cagey, punchline (“Nigga I’m a notorious drug user and pimp, what’s that, a B.I.G. fucking feen!”) acute and resident (“It smells like ballparks in this bitch mouth, everything you say to me is baloney!”) fat jokes-prone QP.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Nigga fuck a bag, everything I moved was weighed on a scale, I sold so much weed in high school, I got a different meaning of Saved by the Bell!”
Recap: Bobbing and weaving throughout this 1-round battle with a boatload of rambunctious punchlines/4-bar set-ups, boastful darts, well-executed gun lines and witty barbs, Big T makes for a fine impression on the Houston Bar Code while beating back the gritty street narratives from a righteous-bent A-Kaza.
Verdict: Big T (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big T – “Look, Big T ain’t the nigga that you try to trip on, I’ll have you in denial like ‘I ain’t fat, I’m big-boned!'”
Recap: The battle rap vet 100 Bulletz overall shines better with the (“You a maintennace man Kareem, so I know you ain’t gonna let the heater bust, if Mike P [pee] in the building, you gonna have to clean it up”) jokes than the bars, which edges him the 2nd round. However, it’s Steams, consistently working the body with hard (“A shootout is the only time I’ll check for Bulletz [bullets]!”) name flips, dope personals and some fiery (“What the fuck is a Bullet if the gun jam and the shooter pussy?”) wordplay/schemes, who easily takes the 1st and 3rd rounds for the dub.
Verdict: Steams (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Steams – “Hood nigga shit, and you from Canada, where good niggas live, health care free, how the fuck you planning to be sick as this?”
Recap: Besides the fact that a performance-heavy (“I’m Debo, or think Craig, now put green in the flip, that was backwards, on Friday my connect hit me with a brick!”) Cali Smoov did a great job of overselling a lot of his more pedestrian bars/schemes throughout this battle and Young X’s ‘Who’s more street?/I’m more realer than you’ themes bordered on overkill, with only X’s penchant for witty punches getting in the way of what was overall a pretty average performance, it’s hard to say that either Smoov or X were on their A-game here. Still, a solid on both parts 1st round makes for a tie while a stronger X clearly took the 2nd, before a more fine-tuned Smoov took the 3rd to officially make this one a debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Young X – “Think Cain cousin Harold nigga…that’s a metaphor for reach and get killed!”
Recap: It’s quite a (Daylyt: “You won’t win squat, but if you do key in my body language, only position you stuck in, is the bowel movement!”) shit-storm as JC withstands a scheme-heavy and versatile, but a little messy Daylyt, with a continuous barrage of ill punchlines, schematic (“Guns loaded Day, and we not feenin’ to miss him, y’all feenin’ to him, y’all are supposed to get Day back, now his is missing, and the only way to get Day back, is reminiscing!”) wordplay, potent (“This is not a game, I can expose Lyt [light] and make y’all never even look at Watts the same!”) name flips and nuanced personals, finally putting Day away with this shiner: “He could never get with me, we shoot at more Cribs than the old MTV!”
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Besides, what happened at the Crown 2?, damn that’s a shame, Red handled you worse than his grandmama chain!”
Recap: While Dubb Da Feenom’s rigid wordplay and gritty punchlines were nice throughout, in what was a long anticipated matchup between two of PA’s finest, a perplexing decision by Bill Collector to not spit any gun bars (esp. seeing as BC’s usually good for at least a handful in his battles) during this bout along with yet another episode of BC coming off too indirect and inconsistent with his raps, helps give Dubb the 1st and 3rd rounds (had a condensed Bill edging round 2) here for the win in this 3-rounder from Traphouse Battle League.
Verdict: Dubb Da Feenom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dubb Da Feenom – “You Prince Naseem, you gotta dance to make your punches land!”
Recap: Even against an opponent who started off pretty pedestrian, but got niftier with his wordplay and gun lines as the rounds proceeded, Holmzie Da God’s consistently well-crafted schemes and fiery punchlines throughout this battle were more than enough to score a 30 on Dot MCK.
Verdict: Holmzie Da God (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Holmzie Da God – “Back out on him?, I would never duck down, miss me with all that Goofy shit!”
Recap: Don’t lose sight of the irony here, especially after Iron Solomon does a personal-heavy 1st round surrounding Charlie Clips supposedly not taking battles seriously and failing to bring proper 3rd rounds–themes you’ve heard before about Clips. But considering historic recent 3rd’s by Clips against the likes of T-Rex and even a fire 3rd versus Hollow da Don, one might consider that Clips’ rep doesn’t always proceed him. Still, this Clips, even if he did go too far with the ‘1 testicle’ jokes in a 2nd round that was edged by a late, punch-heavy charge by Solomon during his turn, didn’t come to play. That was the case during a fire 1st that featured a variety of fiery punchlines, potent name flips and salacious wordplay as well as a just-as-fire 3rd, that with enough flexing personals, bodacious schemes and haymakers, turned back a solid (and again, personal-themed) but elongated round from Solomon to give Clips the match. And no, the irony is not lost in that.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “They said it’s a wrinkle in my career, well good thing I got an Iron to get that shit straight!”
Recap: Another exhilarating battle brought to you from Bullpen Battle League with Ty Law and relative newcomer PC going toe to toe with animated punchlines, fiending wordplay, flexing gun bars and exorbitant performance lines throughout. However, after splitting (Ty Law: “I bet they don’t catch it like a Bonecrusher stage dive!”; PC: “You act like you some type of thug or something, well I’m 9-tre —, disrespect my blood and you’ll catch a slug or something, I told my relatives at the last family reunion they better not call me cuz [’cause] for nuthin!” ) the first couple of rounds, it’s Law who proves to have the most stamina, with a more (“I’ll PC this nigga, remember?, proceed with caution, pussy chill, protect ya chest or the police will chalk him!”) condensed and solid round that easily takes out what was a mixed and at times, lethargic turn by his opponent.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ty Law – “You pussy as Cortez, have ya people crying, kill them for nothing like when they popped Cornbread!”
Recap: Is there a league left out there that DNA hasn’t battled on? That being said, in the grimy halls of The Trap, DNA and Dolla put on a dope show, each with a barrage of hot gun lines and competitive bars that kept it close throughout. And while DNA sported more shrewd name flips, Dolla’s rambunctious punches equaled the effort. So all said, give (“Then last nigga’s you battled couldn’t get their raps off proper, Harriet Tubman, I’m a be the first to Black on Dolla [dollar]!”) DNA the 1st round, with a debatable 2nd before Dolla clearly took the 3rd.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Dolla – “You, like a chick that hold her nigga down through a 10-year bid [How’s that?]….you a real bitch!”
Recap: In this nice matchup from Barbarian Battle Grounds, Pass’ (“[pounds chest] Old-school beatdown, I’ll boom bap ya!”) pretty solid, oft-rapid, sometimes intricate wordplay/punches lands him a debatable 1st round when matched with JC’s swagger boasts and otherwise ill punchlines/personals. But from there, a (“I execute with the ink, empty the pen faster than a prison break!”) bluster-happy, set-up friendly, gun bar-savvy and scheme-heavy JC just proves to be too much for his vet opponent, raining down haymakers with extra moxie in both the 2nd and 3rd, while displaying more consistency with the potency of his bars and taking the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Trying to be a rap legend, you could meet a rap legend…[Bwoh!], bet he know the Proof when he see it!”
Recap: After somewhat laboriously claiming partial ownership to URL’s Proving Grounds concept in round 1, yet clearing losing to Mike P’s more cohesive verbal (“Out bar me?, hell no, Ya man sing and you’ll get metal across ya mouth, that’s the the start of the Chappelle Show!”) hijinks and winning personals (“Yo Day, welcome to your first battle that counts!”), Daylyt comes back with thorny (“I school nigga’s to death, it’s Columbine, when they rape they give me the underscore, that’s because they don’t get the bottom line”) rhyme schemes and intricate (“Anaconda [and the kind of nigga] nigga I am, I rap tight as hell…sir pen [serpent] outta this world, man this shit is cold bruh [cobra]”) word dynamics that for the most part hit in elongated round 2 to even things up. The 3rd round, scintillating in its charm on both sides, gets a toss-up as despite Day’s continued crowd-pleasing polemics (and a too-ill scheme on Mike’s moniker), Mike P refused to wilt, returning the fire with his own round of stirring (“Get your life cut short by making a slight edit, because the .44 surprising [bends down] low like Mike credit!”) heat, fresh angles and mean personals to make this one a debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Daylyt – “You did a Street Fighter scheme, it was the coolest, nigga’s was clapping. you was down forward with the punches, it was dope to see how dude could get a reaction!”
Recap: Going up against a strong-arm display of piercing (“[Bwoh!] I got that shit in Durham, nigga’s in Greensboro was like ‘You heard that?!'”) gun bars and flexing personals from Drugz for 3 rounds, after surviving a couple of slip-ups in round 1, Zig Zag for the most part dumps the resident name flips and with two rounds of quality-equipped punchlines and ripping mayhem, comes back with enough heat to edge the 2nd round before an equal amount of haymakers from both battlers makes this one a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Zig Zag – “If I raise the stick, I bet it’ll change his tone, I’m a vocal coach!”
Recap: A highly competitive battle between Franchise and A. Ward results in the former using aggressive schemes, lucid gun bars and a load of fiery punchlines to take rounds 1 and 2, and thus a well-earned win on his home turf.
Verdict: Franchise (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Franchise – “Yo, what up, it’s time for your man to die my friend, he Christ-like?! [bwoh!]. I bet you that this body won’t arise again!”
Recap: Every noted battle rapper must have a reference or two they get tired of hearing about from opponents in battles and in B Magic’s case I’d venture to guess that it’s ‘J Fox’ fight bars and ‘David Blaine’ mention’s. And while Syah made use of both those here in this RBE 3-rounder, the ATL spitter as he usually does, still made for a winnable effort with a gang of piercing punchlines (esp. in round 3, which he edged) and solid personals throughout the match. But as he shows us once again here, a prepared B Magic can take on anyone and with a steady barrage of sizzling punches/gun bars, rigid wordplay and witty darts in the opening rounds, one can attest here that the show did arrive.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B Magic – “Think of the Banks family, I’ll raise the Smith [Smif]!”
Recap: One wouldn’t expect anything less than a dope battle between DNA dn Chef Trez and you definitely got your money’s worth here. And what with Trez using a crazy rebuttal and (“I’m going Above the Rim, but I forget bro stupid, I’m nut so [Nutso], so if I clap a square, the 5th go through him”; “Please have a mind of your own, let’s say DNA slap me, I’ll put the .9 to ya dome, a slap withh get you 3 rounds, that’s Shine and Charron!”) spine-tickling bars to dominate the 2nd round (thanks in part to a shortened, but still solid turn by DNA) and DNA easily (“There’s panic when I’m gripping the .4, if it’s about money I’ll have this cat over the bread, that’s a Dominican store!”; “You been sucking dick to get every battle you got, with no pride, so it’s crazy how John John took Bloe job!”) taking the 3rd with crazy punchlines, this one comes down to the 1st. Which I got Trez winning what with better consistency in terms of the quality of his bars and more diversified lines as well, over what was an times (“With these two trey’s I’m shooting, when I bring Chef closer to you God [U-God], that’s a Wu-Tang reunion!”) superb, but mostly underwhelming turn from DNA.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “But what your hat say?, ‘PG Killer’, that’s what they call you in these mean streets?, nigga that’s equivalent to being the best player…in the D League!”
Recap: Pretty solid effort here from Radio B, who withstanding some reaches here and there, scored with enough lyrical darts and gritty punches to stay in this battle and even edge the 3rd round. Still, while JC’s final round wasn’t as blistering as one might like, the first couple of rounds told a different story, what with a gang of stifling punchlines, boastful shiners that solidified his status in the game and pointed wordplay/name flips/gun bars that worked to outscore his opponent in each of the opening rounds and give the Michigan battler the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Two bulldogs [points arms out like guns], dumping outside like they housebroken!”
Recap: From Upstate Heavyweight Rap League, a long, but solid and gritty at times effort from Jae Lyrics gets beat back by DNA, who with a consistent barrage of sublime name flips and flexing punchlines, made this 1-rounder an easy day at the park.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “What a time to be alive, till I fuck up your Future lyrics!”
Recap: Credit to SinCity Nyce, who despite being mostly one-themed with rudimentary street (“Here’s a hollow tip, I give bucks even for bad service!”) raps, still put on a solid barfest that got him the 2nd round and kept thinsg competitive here against Geechi Gotti on AHAT. However, Geechi being Geechi, fiercely kicking that street (“Growing up, deciding whether to stab you or shoot you, was considered a split decision!”) shit with aggressive punchlines and some ill wordplay mixed in throughout this bout, equates to being more than enough to take the 3rd round and the win.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Face shot…watch his skin slide off like baked chicken!”
Recap: Steady aggressive bars throughout this one-round battle of raucous lines/wordplay from both Ha Style and Quban (“Knife work, I’ll leave it stuck in the middle…I’m still deciding!”), is separated by less filler, more variety, a Hulk Hogan impression and a tribute to ‘Radio Raheem’ by Ha Style.
Verdict: Ha Style (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ha Style – “Just know that the dot calm a nigga like a semi-colon!”
Recap: Hosted by Chilla Jones, a quick one-rounder between Moroney and Xcel showcases Moroney’s ability to crack some nice (“And I’m chilling with your chicken, I’m a stick it in her throat, shortie made me cum [come] quicker than Christmas when ya broke!”) jokes, but also a desperate need to work on his flow/performance. All the while Xcel stays (“You ain’t a veteran, boy you just been here too long!”) nice during his turn with what’s essentially a sparring bout.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “Think Molly, you could get peeled for not knowing what I’m cut with!”
Recap: As expected, religious themes/bars dominate this fire matchup between Christian rapper Loso and 5% street theologist Xcel. First round sees both rappers spit an assortment of heat with Xcel going first and mixing in steely verbal hijinks with killjoy wordplay and fierce (“This a real fight, get too close I’m stabbing Loso, I drag him, mop the floor with this nigga…Fabuloso!”) schemes that spoke directly to Loso’s soul. But unmoved by his opponent’s hot start, an aggressive Loso came right back with own potent mix of fiery (“Well, let’s stop that, because that’s not why you got booked, but where you hearing that?, the only reason we got you on this card is because we got Xcel [a sale] for cheap like a clearance rack!”) personals and stinging name flips that let you know that he was here to win. Second round saw another (“But fuck it, since he thinks he a loud and tough dude, I got a loud ratchet, in the front, you can’t rebuttal!”) solid, but not-quite-as-nice-as-his-1st turn from Xecl. But Loso stepped it a notch, going ham with serene personals, lucid performance bars and some stylistic (“Wait, he’s a religious dude, he ain’t felt a gat, plus a 5-percenter’s highest goal is to obtain peace, [click click] well, I could help with that!”; “No matter the outcome of this battle, I’m a have his wig get removed, man you Anderson Varejão, you about to get a ring whether you win or you lose!”) haymakers that clearly got the second round after he was edged in the first for being slightly less consistent (not to mention a couple of reaches) with his bars. 1-1 going into the 3rd, Xcel went straight for the fences with hard-hitting personals in between earnest (“You close to God right, [well] tell that nigga we need his fucking help!”) pontification’s that were perfectly set-up by stiff-armed (“I know, I know, I shouldn’t care about ideologies, ‘cuz cops is profiling us and trying to ID all the G’s [ideologies]!”) spiritual postulations…no soapbox needed. That said, credit Loso for still coming prepared with a fire 3rd round that probably would’ve beaten most, all the while showcasing his durability and ability to turn his opponent’s strengths around on them. Still, with Xcel taking the 1st and 3rd rounds here, with a little too much filler mixed in with his harder bars, on thi day the Christian rapper’s fortitude wouldn’t quite be enough.
Verdict: Xcel: (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “He had gun bars too, but I can’t say he can’t squeeze the thang, because Christians been killing nigga’s forever in Jesus’ name!”
Recap: A slightly cleaner flow, consistently efficient with the bars and more versatility with the punches allows Gauge to edge this 1-round Go-Rilla Warfare battle against a pretty solid, but not as steady with it B Magic.
Verdict: Gauge (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Gauge – “When you die tell the devil to forward my mail, you know you bogus when you get the cold shoulder in hell!”
Recap: From Go-Rilla Warfare, with a steady barrage of aggressive mayhem, hard-hitting punchlines and gritty personals, Docious handily takes rounds 1 and 2 for the win over a mostly pedestrian Bill Collector become BC steps up his punch-game in round 3 to avoid the shutout.
Verdict: Docious (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Docious – “See, when it’s grind time, I tell my nigga’s grab them weapons, class in session, we all about that cash progression, bunch of nigga’s itching to ball like they crab infested!”
Recap: Even with a slip-up towards the end, in a last-minute, one-rounder on the RBE stage, QB with a much cleaner round than her opponent, continuously spits fiery (“I’ll throw a dildo in your son room and watch him act his daddy, nigga!”) disrespectful darts to outshine a humbled Showoff.
Verdict: QB (W) 1-0
Favorite line: QB – “So why the fuck you want to bring the drama to me?, I ran up on Show [raises arm like gun] like this the show I wanted to see!”
Recap: Good shit indeed as Fettuccine 20 and Ryda go blow for blow and keep it competitive throughout this too-close-to-call PG battle. The more bar and (“If I get Paid In Full for the hit, then I’m coming through with two new cigs, ya ace will walk in and find you dead, welcome to Lulu’s crib!”) punch-heavy Ryda (tho he did have some reaches) had more haymakers in round’s one and two, but only won the 1st thanks to more intricate schemes and a slightly higher bar quotient from (“Let me catch y’all niggas in the kitchen, while y’all whipping it all up. I’ll be a broke nigga in tax season, the first thing I’m doing is [waves arms like shooting guns] hitting them all up!; “Get out of line, a couple of bucks will straighten him out, that’s a Posture Fee!”) Fettuccine. 3rd round, came with huge replay value as both battlers stepped it up and came with hard aggressive lines, some ill (Ryda: “Didn’t you used to rep the Trap?, oh nigga they used to be buzzing, now it’s just a bunch if no-shows and some free vodka….ain’t that somethin’!”) personals, more dizzying haymakers and some crazy (Fettuccine20: “I blast off, any situation I got a gun involved, it’s just ironic, I had a blast but it wasn’t fun at all!”) wordplay…and that’s why at the end you can go either way.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Ryda – “You was all on Facebook loud, talking about ‘that nigga Ryda not believable’,cool, till they gotta pull back that white sheet and ya mama can’t believe it’s you!”
Recap: Damn, the way Fiirst Ladii Flamez goes from calm, laid back mode while smoking a blunt to flicking on the switch and straight spazzing on you vocally with such flippant aggression is a sight to see. That said, Flamez would need all the heat she could bring with her as opponent Rozay Ro (in this fiery 3-rounder from BossChickTV) definitely came to compete with a brazen bag of flexing/witty punchlines/personals and solid name flips to boot. Still, for all of Ro’s persistent flexing, Flamez would beat her to the punch with consistently fire wordplay, piercing gun bars, righteous boasts and stinging 4-bar set-ups to earn the 30.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “See, your problem is, you actually thinking you safe, but a sheep don’t know it’s dinner till a wolf in its way!”
Recap: Considering their recent sordid history it only made sense for K-Shine and Charron to settle their differences in the ring and John John da Don gives them the opportunity via his Bullpen Battle Leagues (major props to whoever does the edits btw, that shit is not only unique but fire!!!). K-Shine gets off to a hot start in round one, killing it with repeated verbal heat that consistently (“Ladder on the side on his house, I’m [points at Charron’s head] about to fix his roof!”; “Fuck is up?, smacking my hat, that’s what you wanna do?, the first time was a shitty situation, don’t make this a number two!”) landed…hard. And while Charron dropped a dope Pokemon rebuttal along with some crazy (“Last time he called ny bluff, he was decking me quickly, but I’m a 17 in blackjack, you gonna regret that you hit me!”) punches and personals that hit, a little too much filler gave the edge to Shine. Round two was a clear win Charron as despite a nice rebuttal and aggressive wordplay from Shine, a couple of slip-ups and shortened turn stood little chance when faced with Charron’s feelgood crowd-pleasers, Slim Jesus spiels and witty (“Listen pipsqueak, when you see this midget 6-feet, it won’t be a growth spurt!”) bars. Going into the last round, both battlers spit enough fire to show that they came to win in what ended being a really good battle, K-Shine, back in his bag after a substandard 2nd round, brought steady punches (“Kyrie and Lebron, I could’ve said ‘cuz it made your warrior sleep, but it’s ‘cuz you think it’s a game 5 till you get this .40 a piece!”) that landed and an ill performance that combined with a couple of (“I’ll give his back shells, like Ninja turtles, I got the ooze [oooh’s] boy you better go ask Stella I got the groove, switch hands, young Mick Jagger, I got the moves, cooking with this Mac in the box, i got the blues!”) haymakers, could’ve had anyone thinking he’d win the round. But Charron proved to be equal to the task as the self-named “URL Killer” stood the test again with more (“I thought I knew this crowd like I knew the palm of your hand!”) self deprecating humor and continued personals that hit. All told, call it even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Charron – “Desert eagle, A-R, i ain’t saying I got that work, I’m just listing Gun Titles to give him flashbacks of Roc and Surf!”
