No Bias. No Narratives.
Recap: Close one here between AHAT denizens Jey The Nitewing and UN with the latter getting the win via a slightly more steady delivery of hitting punchlines and direct zingers in the deciding 3rd round.
Verdict: UN (W) 2-1
Favorite line: UN – “Three rounds, didn’t use one fucking Batman joke, but if I give him that [BOOM!] [POW!] [WAM!] he gonna be like ‘ Un, Holy smokes!'”
Recap: Well, Stuey Newton certainly earned this one. That’s how nice his opponent (“I’ll smack, Earth, Wind and Fire out this man, and I don’t care for oldies!”) Logic413 was throughout, but for a few predictable punches and some second round dry spots that cost him that deciding round. Still, for Newton to spit a barrage of (“Mac with the beam on it, I lean on it like it’s trustworthy”) haymakers in his opening round, before dishing an even more versatile, performance-heavy, bar-centric round that also got him the 2nd, it not for Logic’s resiliency along with pontificating a little too much in the 3rd, this might’ve been a close 3-0.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Stuey Newton – “Run inside his place, then annihilate him, it’s like ‘Good morning’ from a bitch that you finally dating, ya wake to the texts [Tek’s] with the smiley faces!”
Recap: This doesn’t quite sound like Charron, but the video was upped on YouTube in 2015 and it’s supposed to be an 1-round, audio-only, LetsBeef.com battle from 2009, which would mean Charron was still in his teens at the time. Plus, one would think that if it wasn’t Charron that you heard here, he himself or one of his many fans would’ve gotten it took down by now. Anyway, against a solid showing from Brutally Honest, a slicker-talking Charron out-punches his opponent for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charron – “One shot, blink he’s gone, using all my trigger finger’s till my pinky’s gone!”
Recap: Rookies vs. Vets battle between the charismatic Mr. Wavy and the wily K-Shine certainly had its share of moments (like Wavy’s 2nd round ‘Oh I get it, you like ’em, a little debatable’ punch which I thought was actually a lot better than the notorious ‘Shotgun in the pants leg I’m walking like a zombie wit it’ performance line from round 1), gritty punchlines, flinging (Shine: “The kick back gon make it look like he shot me!”) mayhem. ringing name flips (esp. from Shine), rook vs. vet chatter, fiery schemes/storytelling and even, in the 3rd round, a human prop courtesy of Shine. That said, overall Wavy (give him the 2nd and 3rd rounds after a debatable 1st) gets the edge here as the Brooklyn emcee not only displayed a level of versatility with his raps that you don’t normally see from relative newbies, but Shine’s often erratic flow combined with a somewhat lazy 3rd round definitely gave you the feel that he wasn’t as prepared as his opponent, thus the loss.
Verdict: Mr. Wavy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mr. Wavy – “I put niggas in front of lines like they got some free throws coming, that Bull shit’ll get you hurt, I got a D Rose button!”
Recap: “I’m dead nice”–never witnessed a more confident, flat-out consistent and all-out superb Danja Zone than here against Lotta Zay. So prolific was Danja’s pen game, that nothing Lotta did in this battle would’ve mattered at the end. So despite a rare choke by Lotta in round one, being followed by a couple of (“I’ll leave y’all all hurt, Rugrat open and crank it, y’all see the Tom’s squirt”) average rounds, with a wide array of fierce wordplay, booming punchlines, spirited (“Zay verse Danja, bet, but if this a battle on Olympus, in light of when greats connect, then why he kept getting invited like Facebook game requests?’) bars and addictive (“Cut out your middle and side man, like when Frank went to Thailand!”) crowd-pleasers, Danja Zone not only only gets the white towel thrown in during round 3, but his stock should go way up after catching a body against a pretty formidable opponent.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “Headshot, y’all getting the head at the same freaking time, that’s a 69!”
Recap: Kicking those righteous, Pro-Black tutorials, but also equally mired in scathing personals, fiery schemes and piercing gun bars here and there, an aggressive and pointed B. Dot puts a hurting on a lyrically pensive, but mostly low bar efficient Fiji Osa in this 3-rounder from L.A. Battle Groundz.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 3-0
Favorite line: B. Dot – “I gotta laugh, Hoodwoods and Alcatraz, I thought y’all would provide me a threat, yunno, give me the type of nigga that would ride on my set and send me a message when they slide up with Tek’s, instead I get a Marine named Fiji, well this ain’t the type to respect, I mean he obsessed with water, they got me spraying at a nigger that like to get wet!”
Recap: Judging from his reactions during Dre Dennis’ raps, his freestyles and a couple of game rebuttals. it’s pretty clear that either Big Kannon didn’t take this battle seriously from jump or sipping on too much of that somethin’ somethin’ effected his game plan. And while for most vets in the game that’d be a bit a huge setback, credit Kannon’s experience, rebuttal game and verbal (“I will smoke the rest of the loud boys after I smoke the leader, but don’t trip, he’ll get the whole clip…but any extras get added to bonus features!”) potency for making the battle close, especially versus the steady stream of heavy (“…bnt on Smack they ain’t think your rhymes mattered, so you was great in school but was bad in the league, Dajuan Wagner!”) heat and performance bars Dennis was bringing–which in the end edged the rook a dub.
Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “They say come back from the block…Sanaa Lathan in Love and Basketball, I keep my arm up after the shot!”
Recap: Nice battle with a shitload of swift punches between Chilla Jones and 100 Bulletz. Chilla edges it in the end, but 100 Bulletz with quality (“I’m here to catch bodies and stack coffins, it’s like a watching a URL battle…let’s skip all the Smack talking”) punchline after (“Call me Carlton Banks? That’s cool, you gonna see snap with the Tom Jones”) punchline along with repeated quips on Chilla’s style, definitely made his opponent work for it. Still, altogether it’s better flow/deliveries/set-ups, more variety with the (“Words is weapons and these bars off the chain like nunchucks”) bars and less filler per the kid from Bosstown that gets him rounds 2 and 3 to take this KOTD matchup.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “This gun so big that if I load a clip and squeeze, it’ll pick Bulletz up off the ground like a Hitman remix!”
Recap: The Rookies vs. Vets card has certainly lived up to the hype what with 3 dope battles released so far including this one between Brizz Rawsteen and Aye Verb–a really good look considering that Verb can be so hit or miss. As expected Rawsteen delivered three rounds of consistent heat. Whether it was neck-snapping (“I thought he had the iron low like it’s anemic, nigga I feed the iron shells, it throw ’em back up, that bitch bulimic!”) personals or cinematic (“In this movie he get hooked from the [raises right fist and points at Verb] right hand, cuz I know what you did last summer”) wordplay, Brizz didn’t leave any doubt that he came to win. Yet, through the first couple of rounds Verb matched him, mocking Brizz’s uber-aggressive style, unloading sparkling reminders (“You gotta be special, you can’t be mediocre and come see the Yoda!”) on his vet status and styling on Brizz’s team with witty (“Look at your fucking squad, these heathens and thots, 2-4-6-8, the 3-5-7 even them odds!”) punchlines. The 3rd round is where Brizz stands out the most, staying hot with a deluge of dope performance bars, brash anecdotes and a consistent delivery. While Verb, despite a couple of (“You into martial arts? Me too, but it’s not the same, two arms up, mean kick, nigga this is not the crane!”) shiners and surprisingly saving his signature “Showtime” for the last round, takes too long with his angles and suffers from a little too much filler in a shortened round. A great effort by both parties, but in the end Brizz’s lack of originality with his personals versus Verb’s better display of variety in the first couple of rounds gets the vet from St. Louis the win.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Do you think you compare better? Or do you just think your hair’s better? I mean, see this is the difference between niggas with barbers and niggas with hairdressers”
Recap: Some production issues in the 3rd round doesn’t ruin this competitive punchfest between M. Ciddy and Anubis, with the first couple of rounds highlighted by Anubis’ understated wordplay and Ciddy’s wide-ranging vocab that stayed potent even amongst other more recreative verbal gymnastics. And for a more consistent Ciddy, that was just enough leverage and zing to edge the first two rounds, couple with a win.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “See, I handle breaking crews, if the camera can’t review, can your pics are alike, I’m panoramic makes moves, Madagascar shit, I gotta animate the zoo!”
Recap: If Skelly paid more attention to the bars he writes that actually (“I bet you got a gun so big you couldn’t fit it inside your rental, well I got a gun so small I got it inside the venue”, “You couldn’t give a bitch the ‘D’ with a key to your city”) hit, he might actually study his lines and work on being more consistent in order to uplift what is too often a lukewarm pen game. That being said, easy win for Marvwon here, a more confident flow in addition to way more efficient wordplay and nice performance (“They say that one monkey can’t stop no show, well I guarantee [points gun fingers at Skelly] you that one llama can”) bars to take rounds 1 and 3 along with the dub.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Marv Won – “I’m trying to see what that mouth do, so I slid in her DM’s, ‘cuz I heard she works on the head all night…like a Tylenol PM”
Recap: Against a mostly solid, pretty (“Face shot [bwoh!], that shot will put Bonus features on the other side of him like a dual disc!”) intense and punch-heavy Craig Lamar, Bonus leaves it all on the table with 3 elongated rounds that were filled to the rim with steady mayhem, whether in the form of stinging (“I’ll go over ya head to put you under Jersey…like shoulder pads!”) wordplay or fierce punchlines or for that matter braggadocio bars that lit up the room. All enough, after getting edged in round 1 by a slightly more condensed opponent, to take the latter two rounds and the win.
Verdict: Bonus (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonus – “I’ll start with a round to his head, then line the body up like a stick figure!”
Recap: Nothing too out of the ordinary here, but Mo Mula’s still spouts a more buoyant flow while overall dishing more consistently harder bars, a lil Espanol and delicious name (“I’m cooking Fettuccine like fettuccine, leave the noodle flat!”) flips to take this one-rounder from an aggressive, but mostly hit-or-miss (“I bear arms and I squeeze them tight, that’s a big hug, these tips will leave Mula [moola] all over the cakes [tosses money in the air], that’s a strip club!”) Fettuccine20.
Verdict: Mo Mula (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mo Mula – “Mula is a fucking animal and that’s a compliment, I’m from a block where the pizza shop gotta tie up the condiments”
Recap: First, no slip-ups on Chess during his round one considering the kid only stopped because he was sick and all. Secondly, dope battle. Chess did his thing on the big stage, landing plenty of wicked jabs, punchlines and rich (“Put the guns up. I got several, I palm metal, the .9 get you, let two bust [bus] in the same spot, that’s MTA behind schedule”) bars on DNA the PG Killer with utter confidence throughout. Still, for all of Chess’ comeuppance, during the first couple of rounds DNA did him one better, edging both rounds with dope performance (“I’mma use the right hand on Chess, that’s the pledge of allegiance”) bars, witty (“You couldn’t beat Top rhyming, so why y’all souping him up?!”) personals, strong (“I’ll knock a ‘G’ down for acting G’d up, I love Gucci!”) wordplay and a couple of slick (“My gun got a mind of its own, it be letting off 8 rounds, some retarded shit, I’m calling it A-Town!”) haymakers. And thank goodness too because Chess’ 3rd round was a straight-up classic, (“Double barrel to his face, look like he was using binoculars!”) haymaker after (“You from the school of hard knocks?, I’m from the college of kicking doors down!”) haymaker combined with a superb performance/delivery and exquisite wordplay that served as yet another reminder of just how talented this kid is. Nice tutorial session from DNA in the 3rd (with a cameo appearance from the infamous Professor Shine), but after taking it on the chin during Chess’ 3rd, DNA should be glad he outscored his opponent often enough in the early rounds and was able to get outta there with a win–respect the youth indeed.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chess – “Open-mic, poets night, I like to snap, keep the ratchet under the bed like wifey back!’
Recap: Best thing D.O.T. did for his career was own his “reach” status, as it’s not only gotten him more shine in the game, but overall it’s made him a more complete battle rapper. As seen here against (“If I see you with Ice Cream, you better get to dipping D.O.T.”) Dubby Dub, who made the mistake of thinking he could simply out-bar D.O.T., the Reach God emptied his clip with witty punchlines, delicious (“You too old to be catching stage fright!”) personals, rich performance bars and some nice young nigga (“”You real? I’m real too, you got bills? I got bills too, you lived it? I’m living it, different size same shoe, let a young nigga talk to you”) polemics to easily get the win.
Verdict: D.O.T.(W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “These bullets are hard-headed nigga, that mean they go through one ear and out the other!”
Recap: Killing it throughout with a boatload of raucous punchlines, nifty name flips and hard-hitting/witty personals, even his subpar-punching opponent Sizzle struggling to start his 2nd round wouldn’t have made a difference in Yung Griz pitching a shutout in this Casual Conflicts Rap League 3-rounder.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “In this rap shit, you my white brother, ain’t nobody gonna take care of you the way I do man, see I’m fucking you up to make you better…you should be trying to be my new friend!”
Recap: Young B The Future takes advantage (literally and figuratively) of the big stage at Snoop Dogg’s Gladiator School with hardbody gun lines, fierce punches and hyper-aggressive performance bars that had the crowd amped. Too bad the same couldn’t be said about his opponent B. Magic, who after delivering a pretty solid 1st round with his penchant for fiery punchlines, switched to a more pedestrian mode in the final two rounds, not offering much resistance to Young B’s steady comeuppance.
Verdict: Young B The Future (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young B The Future – “I expected hate, but after that then the Tek squeeze, shit’ll go through your window like a fresh breeze!”
Recap: After getting humiliated in his last battle against Charlie Clips, T-Rex gets up, wipes himself off and goes back to basics with an infusion of aggressive gun bars coupled with some nice personals in three short rounds and fend off Hollohan, who seemed to be more focused on how well his jokes played to the crowd (as well as himself) than actually attempting to win the battle.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Rex – “Me and Mook against you and Pat Stay, we could do it a two-on-two nigga, kill you on a camera, put this body on the news nigga!”
Recap: Johnie Alcatraz doesn’t seem to battle often, but as he showed against both QP (Qleen Paper) and Ill Will, when he does appear on stage his flair for nifty repeated punchlines guarantees that you’ll get a good showing. Still, for all the promise a headline match with a usually-on-point Prez Mafia would bring, it’s a bit of a letdown here as after Prez uses a stifling cable scheme to edge round one, he proceeds to take round two off with what one could readily assume was an old mixtape verse–a round he could’ve won considering Johnie’s rurn was pretty short and subpar. Tied going the last round, Johnie takes it in the end with a better variety of personals, wicked bars and nice performance bars versus Prez, who had some hard-hitting punches here and there, but overall not enough left in his tank to overcome Johnie’s versatility.
Verdict: Johnie Alcatraz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Johnie Alcatraz – “Big strap, Mac, laser and the —-‘s tucked, banging the trey [tray] like the waiter fucked my order up!”
Recap: “Look at me when I’m saving you!” It’s one thing for Th3 Saga to run circles around an opponent with fiery Christian testimonials/polemics, But add to the mix some palpable wit, spitfire punchlines, ill personals and ample wordplay, even if his rounds are often too long, it’s a very hard combo to beat. Such is the case here, in this Rookies vs. Vets matchup against the always aggressive Shotgun Suge. After a more performance-heavy and (“This ain’t OZ, I’ll bury Reverend Cloutier in the kitchen behind the wall!”) just-as-bar-proficient Suge ably takes the first round, Th3 Saga turns it up and gets downright resourceful with his darts, to the point of making a notable point concerning Suge’s habit of pocket-tapping: “What’s the point of tapping someone’s pocket if you don’t go in ’em?” Solid throughout, but hurt a bit by too many pedestrian religious barbs, an overkill on guns bars, his usual assortment of utter mayhem becoming a little redundant at times and a less-than-stellar “What’s Your Life Like?” turn, Suge for the latter two rounds anyway, just couldn’t keep up with Saga’s sterling comeuppance and more versatile palette.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “Everybody wanna talk about God…till they need him!”
Recap: Competitive 3-rounder from LA Battle Groundz sees Real Talk put together enough consistently spicy punchlines to earn a split going into the final round against an explosive at times, but less steady Danny Myers. But after a solid, but none-too-spectacular turn by Real Talk in the deciding 3rdl round, Danny ups the heat with a spitfire, sacrilegious, punch-tastic, witty at times and name flip heavy turn that easily gets Myers the win.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “You rep the Goon Platoon, that sound like a weak ass clique, y’all had that name since 6th grade and decided to keep that shit!”,
Recap: Rapping over beats for 3 rounds in London, Ontario on a KOTD Squad Tour 2 card, DNA’s boatload of nifty punchlines make for easy work against the quick-flowing, but pedestrian rhymes of Barz.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “Your girl’s like a potato, I put my stuff in!”
Recap: Snoop Gladiator School 1-rounder between Couture and Phara Funeral features plenty of illicit gun bars, residual mayhem, salacious personals and piercing punchlines. A goodie all the way through that kept the crowd engaged, a slightly more cleaner, scheme-heavy and haymaker-lit Ms. Funeral gets the win.
Verdict: Phara Funeral (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Phara Funeral – “This reach…God [Gawd] I’m about to hit her with the ‘Urn’ and ‘Ash’!”
Recap: Arsonal and John John da Don are pals outside the ring, but that side note seemed to have more an effect on JJDD than da Rebel during this battle as John John struggled to stay consistent with his personals, set-ups, aggression and bars, all which cost him in the end. What with pretty much a debatable 1st and 3rd round, it’s Arsonal who gets theatrical and distances himself in the 2nd, cleverly taking one of battle host Snoop Dogg’s lines from Baby Boy to set up a nice mix of stifling (“I give a fuck if ya daughter was with you, I shot the both of ya, what you thought I was only gonna hit you and not the stroller?”) gun bars and disrespectful shiners. Overall, not the best showing from either battler, but it’s Arsonal who definitely came more prepared.
Verdict: Arsonal da Rebel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “You told niggas you was signed for real?! Nigga, Bow Wow pay you to suck dick and lip sync, that ol’ Ashanti deal”
Recap: The Tupac bar was mean, but damn if Calicoe didn’t get his point across otherwise, using some finite hustler talk, gritty personals, steely gun bars and an assertive stage presence to beat back an inconsistent Hitman Holla in this one-round battle from Snoop Dogg’s Gladiator School.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Calicoe – “Snoop sent that money, he went on Instagram snapping pictures, Snoop sent MY money, I went up the hill and bought a package with it!”
Recap: In 2014, Snoop Dogg’s “Gladiator School” showcased a battle that often gets forgotten about: T-Rex versus Rum Nitty. Similar battlers in styles and game plans, while in the first round Nitty’s gritty punchlines were a little predictable, they (“Bang! you could jump I gotta bust a K, but with this .45 I’m AC Green…I don’t fucking play!”) more often than not landed. But it’s Rex who shines harder and commands the stage better in round 1 with undeviating (“I’m a gladiator for real, I skipped the school, after Danger, he’ll disappear, like Mystikal!”) braggadocio lines and a more cohesive ethos. And tho Nitty did have some (“It’s all bad if my squad greet you, seen he have on the wrong Colors?, then that Rocket blue [blew], Don Cheadle!”) slept-on lines throughout, in the second round his penchant for guns bars got relatively standard and couldn’t be saved by tiresome personals. On the other hand, while not as grandiose as the first, Rex’s continual virtuosity and flare for the urban (“He acting like [the] type wilding, well fuck it, I’ll stab him, take the knife outta him, then I’ll cold buck it [bucket] on his head, like the Ice challenge!”) dynamics, was enough to edge him the latter round.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-0
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I don’t care if you’re Crip or Blood, you’ll be one bloody Crip or one crippled Blood!”
Recap: Nice amount of witty (“Call me Ms. Hustle, ‘cuz I ain’t start punching yet”) jokes and gritty bars from O’ffcial in this one-rounder against E-Hart. But some weak name flips on top of some ample filler hurts her.when confronted by Hart’s better display of consistently (“Tough if you like me or not, you better ask and fear, 50 bitches jump on you like they smell Axe in here”) hot bars, wordplay and aggressive (“When them nina’s start clapping asses, that’s what I call twerk”) gun lines that gives her the win. Still, these two have put in too much work to just be battling for one round only.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 1-0
Favorite line: E-Hart – “Funny she from Louisiana, but she ain’t seasoned right”
Recap: Decent battle between Head Ice and Serius Jones, who’s making the right move what with shifting his rap battle career to KOTD. However, Ice’s more esoterical rhymes, performance bars and aggressive (“You be tripping, but staying out of the helicopter route, cuz when we be tripping, we be bringing helicopters out”) wordplay (vs. Jones mostly standard bars and shorter rounds) gets him the first couple of rounds and the win here. A close 3rd round, but Jones (as even Ice acknowledged) spit a couple of the nicest (“See, I never got beat up, I got snuffed, but you give the game a black eye for having Ice around, see I coulda got a lump sum for Blackout, but you know when you put Ice on, the knot goes down”) bar in the round to edge it.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Head Ice – “Now you know that I’m a pet lover, the desert eagle will leave you, but the hawk [swings] will be a step-brother!”
Recap: Confident and concise with his raps, R Streetz impresses with a steady stream of potent gun lines, fiery set-ups and fierce (“I don’t rap with a lisp, so if you catch a little spit…it’s intentional!”) punchlines to beat back a solid overall, but too often pedestrian Skates in the first couple of rounds here for the win, before an elongated and slightly running out of gas Streetz gets edged by a more consistent and hardbody (“Your set can get it too, what you claiming?, red or blue fucka?, it don’t matter, a couple of shots will make him show his true colors!”) Skates in the 3rd.
Verdict: R Streetz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: R Streetz – “Now I checked them game tapes, and it seems these lames think, that you got all these power lines…so I’m a have hang Skates!”
Recap: Nice comeback here from Diesel, who survives a pretty solid 1st round from a punch-heavy XP, to return the favor with an aggressive, gun-savvy and bombastic 2nd round, before completing the conquest with a condensed, but just as fire 3rd that was enhanced by his opponent’s near choke during his turn.
Verdict: Diesel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Diesel – “Two hands on a .40 to make sure the steel keep straight, so keep a vest, stay protected, ‘cuz like Magic’s wife, one bust of this magnum will end in a tragic night!”
Recap: Don’t let the 3-0 fool you as this was a pretty dope and close battle between Mike P and Aura, especially the latter two rounds. Round one was the only clear round as Mike’s personals and more versatile schemes outshined what was mostly standard braggadocio/gun lines from Aura. A much tighter 2nd round had both dropping an equal amount of haymakers (Mike P: “I bet you think ‘cuz I’m white I prospered, faggot my life was bonkers, you probably pushed coke right?, well I relied on it, you fight the streets, I fight the product!”; Aura – “If I clap you…fine, just know that I pack two .9’s for nigga’s thinking that I’m 30”, “….if Beasley offered you a million views, would you want to take a Smack [smack] again?”), but a slight slip-up and a nonsensical bar (ENJ didn’t get ‘snuffed on camera’, he actually is the one who threw the punch in the infamous “Oh you Mad Cuz I’m Stylin’ On Ya“ video) from Aura gave Mike the edge. And while they both came hard in the 3rd, continuous freshly-dipped wordplay and aggressively nice (“I’ll celebrate your death, hell they all brewing, I’ll shake a champagne bottle and shoot the cork through him!”) punchlines from Mike edged what was an overall solid, but too much filler-spiced 3rd from his opponent.
Verdict: Mike P (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Mike P – “So act tough, you’ll get slept or dizzy, point is just keep a arm up the whole time, you Chess verse Gwitty!”
Recap: Both Glueazy and ZigZag spit a load of hot/braggadocio lines in this fiery one-rounder from Lyrical Gladiators. But a slow start of ZigZag and Glueazy’s more consistent shiners, gets the latter the win.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Glueazy – “The gun will shoot, so I’m asking what you wanna do, ‘cuz it don’t have to be Christmas to see a white man on ya mother’s roof!”
Recap: Bit of a strange matchup here what with Arsonal da Rebel coming all the way to Canada to take on a guy making his return to battle rap after so many years of co-hosting battles. Still, the time away seemed to be well worth it for Bishop Brigante as he spits a consistent multitude of hard bars throughout his rounds while coupling them with some nice (“Fuck, my baby mama look fine as hell, your baby mama look like she done time in jail”) personals to take this one from Arsonal who saved himself from a choke with a last-second freestyle in round 2, spit arguably his best bar for Drake and what with mostly lackluster bars throughout, didn’t seem to take this battle all that seriously from jump.
Verdict: Bishop Brigante (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bishop Brigante – “Arsonal, bar for bar against me that’s all she wrote, I seen the best of you turn vegetable, now I step to your art of choke [artichoke]”
Recap: Lots of fly shit in this West-coast PG battle between Shi Dog and Profecy. Round one, which would turn out tobee his best, saw Shi Dog’s unique, quasi-theatrical flow get lit with heated schemes, urban street (“I’m from where nigga’s will pop at you just for asking, ‘What’s popping with us!”) dynamics and crazy set-ups, easily turning away a solid, but none-too-spectacular turn from Profecy. However, things would change a bit in the middle round with Shi Dog still dishing fierce wordplay and gritty bars/punches, but unable to turn it up as his previous round what with a mostly unchanging theme, allowing Profecy to even things up, which he did with a load of spitfire punchlines, witty barbs, literally unhurried, but jaunty personals and hitting (“Burner on me, with the snub nose, like a dope lie!”) gun bars. Last, decisive round saw both battlers come with it, with more feisty (Shi-Dog: “I win then win again, see, me and bars go hand-in-hand like repeat felons, you can’t win for losing ‘cuz all you do is repeat and failing!”) wordplay, lofty name flips and braggadocio heaters. Still, it’s Profecy who ends up edging it, what with his opponent faltering a bit towards the end of his round, while in turn coming off more consistently nice with the bars, performance richer (esp. with the doep PG scheme) and a little more versatile with his subject matter.
Verdict: Profecy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Profecy – “Back to this rapping shit, that’s my bitch, I know we both in love her like savages, but your life and the shit that you write?, don’t match a bit, boy you ain’t that type, you ain’t the man-you-script [manuscript]!”
Recap: All Geechi Gotti here as even some lost 2nd-round footage on Chops Bailey is rendered moot due to him choking. Gotti, finessing smoothly with sturdy name flips/gun bars, flexing punchlines and even a boatload of fiery freestyles in a close round 3, gets an easy 30.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “He a bitch, the type to make duck lips when he taking a selfie!”
Recap: Still rampant with the name flips, but in this case against fellow Jersey-ite Ah Di Boom, also stifling with the gritty punchlines and excelling at times with the wordplay and personals, Jai 400 Block takes the first two rounds for the win, before a solid-throughout-the-battle Boom gets extra nice in the 3rd with a punch-heavy and heat-blazing turn to salvage a round.
Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “You don’t let tools off, you a fraud, I’ll let two off, remove his soul [sole] from him like tennis shoes when they too small!”
Recap: In this matchup of two of Michigan’s finest, Jay Rell supplies more wit, consistency and haymakers to pull off a win over a solid overall, but too many dated bars and dry spot-having Mackk Myron.
Verdict: Jay Rell (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jay Rell – “If this battle close, you lose by life standards!”
Recap: As loud and aggressive as D Flamez spits throughout this battle with Young X, for the most part his lyrical acumen just couldn’t keep up and it showed regardless of whether it was a first round choke or too many subpar lines like “If this clip bang, you gonna get your shit stained, like you’re supposed to be in drawers”. On the other hand, whether it was dispensing that real (“What you know about your own mama telling ya ‘Boy ya hot as shit’, what you know about telling ya own mama, ‘Girl, I got this shit’!”) hustler shit or dishing (“You wanna win tonight, I can’t let ya, too many of my peeps in here, even tho you had that shit on last Saturday, that’s your weekend gear!”) funny personals or styling on his opponent with rich (“And don’t you dare to to do that fall back shit, trust me when the bullets hit you…then you could do [falls back while waving arms] all that shit!”) performance bars, for Young X it was just another day at the office.
Verdict: Young X (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Young X – “Talking ’bout I ain’t got shit, dog if I ain’t got nuthin’ I got a gun for you, and if the bullets could talk, my shits would say ‘we coming too!'”
Recap: Good shit here as Grandaddy Purp and T-Top go at it heavy-handed during a one-rounder in Purp’s hometown of Muncie, IN. Purp stood his ground with consistently nice street (“Nigga, your daddy passed you down jeans, my daddy passed me down cargo!”) semantics, but Top did him better with a variety of name flips, storytelling bars, personals and rich (“All my coke come in blocks, boy we need blenders, tree splitters, big-ass scales that hold three niggers”) trap talk that only those who’ve lived that life could possibly understand.
Verdict: T-Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T-Top – “For them birds I’m pulling that Hazel, long nose and my back-up will give you the 30, that’s Morse Code”
Recap: A super aggressive Bedaffi Green dishes out some (“I don’t care for these suckers, I want to kill all these niggas like Aryan brothers!”; “Killing any tier, blackened on the top and bottom, this widescreen!”) hot bars and nice punches in this one-rounder against Danja Zone brought to you from Trap House NY, But a little too much filler/nonsensical (‘the bird will come out first…’) bars along with some pedestrian bars mixed in from the Long Island emcee altogether add up to a loss when matched besides Danja Zone’s consistently fiery wordplay and righteous (“Green, it’s too late to come back homes’, you need a ne curfew…all I see ’round him is fear, you need a new circle!”) punches/name flips.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “To future up-comers with punches, do not mix with danger [Danja]…I preserve bodies for the future off freeze alone like cryogenic chambers!”
Recap: When you’re consistently dishing hot wordplay and hungry enough to eat soup with a fork off of a paper plate, the mostly straightforward, pedestrian stylings of your opponent won’t faze you much…in other words, Profecy over Denter, easy.
Verdict: Profecy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Profecy – “The borner got 3 bodies on it…that’s a couch!”
Recap: A couple of Grind Time vets known for their potent bars, jokes and witty punchlines, one couldn’t expect anything less than an entertaining match between the returning Dumbfounded and Conceited. Overall. Dumbfounded focuses on ready-to-order short (“You buy your guns at Baby Gat”) jokes, hitting personals and excellently turned Con’s renowned “Slow-it-Down’s” back on him without repetition. While Con goes for Asian jokes, nice schemes, a couple of Slow-it-Downs and his assortment of wild gun (“I’ll let the weapon give you hell, just like your fortune cookie you could the message from a shell”) bars, some landing, some not-so-much. In the end it’s Con taking the first with more variety along with winning schemes. While Dumbfounded edged the second round with a wider (“You gave imaginary guns, some peopel have mandatory ones”) array of fiery bars. Both scored pretty evenly while leaning heavier on the personals (Con: “You mad cuz my vies are climbing mils? I know that shit was driving him crazy like with you behind the wheel”) in round 3, but with neither really landing a haymaker, call it even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Dumbfounded – “He got 3 hot tubs at the cirb…all sinks”
Recap: From Casual Conflicts Rap League, Yung Griz uses a gang of gritty punchlines, fire wordplay and some dope name flips to handily beat back am earnest, but mostly pedestrian AD in this 3-rounder.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “Get out of pocket, I’ll steal [steel] on ya…metal detectors!”
Recap: “Committed murder in the first degree before I got my first degree, I’m hood smart and book smart, but y’all act like it hurts to be, so y’all praise niggers who only know these guns and cigs, but I’m soft for trying to educate y’all dumb-ass kids?!” With cerebral haymakers like the aforementioned along with wicked (“Y’all niggas piss me off because you so lame, but like space jam water, when I got bottled up could change the whole game”) punchlines and a swarm of ill gun bars that’d make Tay Roc proud, Dre Dennis takes the first couple of rounds against an (“I’ll play Jenga withcha vertebrae”, the Nuborn scheme, etc.) earnest and performance-heavy, but inconsistent (state schemes are always ill-advised and the round 2 choke killed any chance of evening the match) Tink da Demon, to get the dub in this Proving Grounds matchup.
Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “My squad is reckless, nigga damn straight, we’ll clap then look the other way…that’s the Fresh Prince handshake!”
Recap: Some battles are not for the sensitive types and this one between Uno Lavoz and Juan certainly fit the category. While both battlers went ham with the jokes (Uno: “And your teeth are big as shit. how much wood could a Juan Juan chuck?”), personals (Juan: “It’s Juan and Uno Lavos, they got this fella to battle me, all we need no wis Carlos and Pedro and we could start our own Mexican battle league”) and punchlines to split the first two rounds, it’s Uno’s over-the-top freestyle (“Wanna know how I know you’re a faggot? That’s your girlfriend…”) taken out on an apparent tranny in the crowd in addition to some downright mean Jewish jokes that gets him a some might say…controversial win.
Verdict: Uno Lavoz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavoz – “He’s racist, don’t fucking believe him, I mean the only black friends he has is the Jewish people that survived the oven treatment”
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Have him bleeding on his porch, his mama outside crying, screaming ’cause she hoarse, bullets toru guides with your name on it, lead him to the Lord, the metal twist Fettuccine like I’m eating with a fork!”
Recap: From MeleeTV/URL, Ms Miami’s gritty punches kept things competitive, but in one the best, punch-lit performances we’ve seen from her to date, Viixen The Assassin’s steadily spicy bars (mixed in with some fiery gun bars and dope 4-bar set-ups) over the course of 3 rounds gives the Milwaukee emcee a well-earned 30.
Verdict: Viixen The Assassin (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Viixen The Assassin – “In Milwaukee, you gonna show some respect, everybody wanna be the Queen on the card until they Decked!”
Recap: Props to both Tia. S and Bonnie Godiva for displaying what real emcees are made of and doing this impromptu, One Off battle for Smack/URL. And while word has is that Bonnie free-styled around some bars she already had for O’fficial, as long as the bars are hers, the Yonkers battler more spicy punches and personals handily earned the win over a hardbody, but flow-challenged effort from Tia.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “How you fat and Black? from the back we think you a white bitch!”
Recap: Much-anticipated rematch between Harlem legends Loaded Lux and Murda Mook gets the polished and production-lit reception it deserves in front of a packed crowd at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York as the headline to the Total Slaughter card. Too bad the battle itself wouldn’t live up to the hype. As after Lux dished a consistently gripping round 1 loaded with righteous punches, some vivid storytelling and wily personals to beat back a momentous and witty at times, but inconsistent turn by Mook, the “Talk Dirty” emcee’s normally virtuous rhymes would disappear into a pool of pedestrian bars and personals with very little bite, helping him to eventually lose this battle. And while Mook would start to land with more punches as the battle proceeded, continue to call out his opponent for allegedly being a hypocrite when it comes to his more preachy lines, spit a nice rebuttal in the deciding 3rd round and instigate a Lux vs. Busta Rhymes (who was in the audience) beef by playing a tape of Lux sneak-dissing Busta (a ploy that worked out really well when you consider the weak attempt by Lux to use a coat as a prop during the top of the round), it wasn’t like Murda, who was often spotty here, was ever on his A-game either. Although one can agree that the higher-ups could’ve let Mook finish the verse he wasn’t able to deliver in time in a final round that with the many breakdown’s on his opponent, he won pretty decisively.
Verdict: Murda Mook (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Murda Mook – “All of this dressing up like different people, that ain’t for niggas from the block, the only time we in disguise when we fin to get the drop!”
Recap: Judged battle from We Go Hard. Tho I get where the judges were coming from giving the win to Chillean G seeing as Dougy had a less cleaner round. The second half of Chillean G’s round wasn’t quite as nice as the (“Now I’m on your neck like a noose, you can’t hang with me…Dennis Rodman crashing the boards [slams hand on basement wall] you can’t bang with me!”; “With one bullet, through your dome and out his neck…I trick shot him!”) first. And overall (thanks in part to him spitting longer, but also due to a higher bar quotient) Dougy had more harder (“I got the can on the couch, I’m Al Bundy!”; “I been nice since City was bony, nigga!”) punches and lit performance (“…she was looking all sloppy and shit, I told my hitter ‘finish the bitch!‘, he threw the grip, I threw my man the glock, he took the shot…that’s a hockey assist!”) bars. So all things said, make this one debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Dougy – “I ride with a .380 ‘cuz I can load it quicker, but you could still get your head cracked for fucking with that K…he a Lamar Odom nigga!”
Recap: Honestly, it doesn’t get much better than this as Rum Nitty and Steams each put forth one of their best performances in this URL/PG battle on the West coast. Going toe-to-toe with plenty of (Nitty: “Think this one shot Mrs? I doubt fire on Kareem [Cream] face”) haymakers, sharp (Steams: “It might look like it, but you don’t really cook, kid’s ovens”) darts, sizzling metaphorical wordplay, name flips, rich performance (Nitty: “Nigga my whole team will shoot, big shit, let an eagle loose, you gonna pull to the side like da ambulance is comin’ and you gonna need ’em too!”) bars and steady urban theatrics, the shouts in the crowd for ‘Battle of the Year!’ were more than warranted. Still, what with Nitty edging the 2nd and Steams edging the 3rd, it’s Nitty’s comeuppance (“I’ll whoop your ass then whoop your ass, I’m on repeat, you’ll get washed up then dusted off again, I got OCD”), fresh personals and hard gun lines that wrecked havoc on an animated and (“Your girl I peep for free, speaking of in boxes I was whispering in your bae’s [bay’s] area like Keak the Sneak”) potent, but inconsistent and overanxious Steams in round 1 to clearly give Rum that round and earn him the overall dub here. Either way, it’ll be hard to top this one in ’15.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “Cali, Atlanta, Canada now I’m going to Vegas, I’m doing my numbers around the globe, that’s a notification”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from SpitDatHeat, Cannon ThaBeast’s love for gun bars allows him to score some shiners here and there in this, But a repetitive display of mayhem from ThaBeast along with a more diverse pen from Young Kannon–who not only scores with his own set of gun theatrics, but also some fierce schemes, soldi wordplay, name flips and airy punchlines–gets the kid from the Southside of Chicago another win.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “Why the fuck they got your man amped?, what you put in ink is barely above ass, you a tramp stamp!”
Recap: SMH at this one. Some weirdo interrupts the match during Hitman Holla’s round one (and apparently got his just due when he got knocked off stage), both Shotty Horror and Hitman suffer from slip-ups and the battle is frequently interrupted by silly time limits (really, esp. if it’s the last battle of the night, just let ’em rap). That being said, Shotty’s too-frequent filler and brief first two rounds didn’t pack enough punch against Hitman’s aggressive (“Drake let me get something straight, I’m um-fucking set, y’all threw me in a dunk contest with a nigga who can’t touch the net?!”) bars, hometown crowd pleasers and fiery performance. Close 3rd round, but Shotty had the best line (“Split personalities, persona disorder, you see how quick man flip?, aye lets just say it’s JFK, there’s still questions of who that Hitman is”) to edge it.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “If Show swing, you’ll land in the crowd, that’s the shit starter”
Recap: From Spittaz League, 1-rounder features strong, punch-heavy and boastful/mayhem-laced performances from both Hollaluyah Jones and Amazing D Boy. But it’s the more versatile, witty, metaphor-rich and consistently hitting Jones who gets the win.
Verdict: Hollaluyah Jones (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Hollaluyah Jones – “Amazing delivery boy, you drive pizza’s, so why you claim you banging them tek’s?, get the order there in under 30 minutes or else it’s coming outta your check!”
Recap: J Murda uses some flagrant schemes and hot performance (“You can lose your life exactly where you stand…BYE! [standby]”) bars to take out a poor man’s Tech 9 in Phrank Rizo. Indeed, with Rizo spitting consistently underwhelming lines like “Shells burn baby, shit will get hotter than Africa”, this one was over pretty much before it started.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: J. Murda – “This BODY gonna be hard for you to watch, like your sister stripping”
Recap: Hell hath no fury like a Christian scorned. Accusations of hypocrisy, or the real life anguish that comes with walking a thin line while serving God? Th3 Saga addresses all issues with a righteous display of speakeasy bars, Smack battle rap proficiency, outrageous name flips, dope schemes and hard-hitting (“Speaking of grammar, your last PG almost got you shot in the face, run-on sentence you had a hard time putting D.O.T. in his place!”) personals. There’s even a moment of revealing self-examination: “Before I wrote this round, I had to reexamine my own life, see after that Blac Muqua and T-Top battle, Man, I was feeding into my own hype, yunno counting the new followers, and reading into what blogs say, focusing in on the views instead of listening to what God say…”. Indeed, one could argue that this battle was kind of therapeutic for the Christian battle rapper. By the way, Prep did really good here: crazy wordplay, rich (“I’m sure you stole from a collection plate once or twice, now let’s see if you can [points hands in air like a gun at Th3 Saga’s head] take a BUCK!”) gun bars and bullish rebuttals. But a too short 2nd round and Th3 Saga’s workmanship, variety, aggression and preparation was just too much to overcome.
Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “Won’t be swindled by the limelight, covered in His blood, but came to kill every one in my class, I’m Carrie, on prom night”
Recap: With a style and flow reminiscent of Rum Nitty, Long Island’s Reepah definitely came with it in this one-round matchup against Shotgun Suge–delivering a litany of flavorful (“So what, you big and fat, whoopee, nigga I will still hurt you, I throw beats like Harpo, Suge been singing like a bitch, not cuz his Color Purple”) punchlines, name flips and working (“You a bully but got spazzed on by a white kid, soccer mom”) jabs handmade with consistent aggression. Indeed, what with Reepah spitting heat for more than half the battle, a minor upset was ready for the taking. Too bad on this day Suge clearly wasn’t having that as Jersey’s favorite bully worked his 3 minutes to startling effect: rambunctious (” You ain’t on my level, I don’t get battles because they think I’m a terrorist”) shit-talking, potent gun bars, grimy street (“He brown skin now, he gonna be laying in his casket looking like Gucci man”) chatter and groundbreaking haymakers with nary a slip-up to pull out a close one.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’m the type to hook a nigga if he slap box”
Recap: From NOBL, dope one-round battle for the ‘Jay’ between Casey and Taylor gets pretty lit when it comes to blistering punchlines, residual mayhem, raunchy chatter, fierce gun bars, sizzling 4-bar setups, wit and piercing personals. A close one till the end, a slightly more condensed and cleaner Casey edges the win here.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “I’d kill her with twin Nina’s, but those old bitches jam…Salt-n-Pepa!”
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Aye Verb -“I ride up, Jerri-curl, bumping that Soul-Glo music, shotty out the window, that bitch long, look like Rebecca Lobo shooting!”
