Recap: More serious of a battle than a jocular, punch-fest that you might’ve expected to see, KOTD champion Pat Stay does enough in the 1st and 3rd rounds with his rugged bully bars, righteous personals/schemes, solid rebuttals, fiery braggadocio lines and spicy flashes of mocking wit to keep his title after beating back a pretty committed, but overall less potent with his 4-bar set-ups, too pressing at times and not as consistent Charron.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Dog, you can’t fuck with me, I’m Sucker-free, you gluten-free!”
Recap: Nice, competitive and spirited battle between Xcel and Sicarii stays close throughout, but the difference are mostly the haymakers. And while Sicarii dropped some real heat and funny (“You got that homeless odor, that I’m broke aroma”) quips at times, his quantity of over-the-top bombs, consistency along with wordplay didn’t quite match (“Body after body flooded the net, my name proven for those dope caskets, I’m battle raps Frank Lucas”) Xcel’s. So I have Xcel edging the first couple of rounds and Sicarii taking the 3rd.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel -“Take me in vain [vein] and get drugged, I’ll relapse this dude”
Recap: An aggressive and confident Kee Kasino uses steely name flips, gritty street chatter and some wicked/witty punchlines to take the first two rounds over a mostly pedestrian Dre Vishiss, before Vishiss steps it up and shows enough versatility to salvage the final round and avoid getting 30’d.
Verdict: Kee Kasino (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kee Kasino – “You think that you could intimidate me boy?, you must be crazy boy, you got that same frame like Snoop and that wife-beater on Baby Boy!”
Recap: Dope battle between Gutta (who easily makes up for his earlier poor PG against Blacksmif here) and Gjonga, a Michigan cat whose style and pedigree is like a flat-out combination of Dizaster and Uno Lavos. Close throughout with plenty of haymakers, crazy (Gutta: “I’ll chew a nigga while he hot, I can’t stand to eat my dinner cold”) punchlines, steady jokes, preachy (Gjonja: “Well honestly, save your fucking apology, I been down paths so fucking dark my shadow wouldn’t follow me”) wordplay and stellar performances on both sides. But Gutta takes it in the end for being a little more consistent overall with the flow while producing more heat with his stage time. All the while Gjonaj’s wordplay didn’t always match his aggression, tho his all-world first (“If by now you’re not a fan, I got holy punches that I promise land”) round should still be viewed as a classic.
Verdict: Gutta (W0 2-1
Favorite line: Gjonga – “Well now I’m mad and I can’t get past it so I’mma catch you leaving Summer Madness, talking to your fucking ratchet, knife you at a red light, tell your bitch you got stuck in traffic!”
Recap: Tink da Demon had some nice braggadocio lines and funny (“This mission suicide, they got me battling a half-white, black, German, Jewish guy!”) barbs, but a couple of slip-ups along with Rosenberg Raw’s variety what with rap battle tutorials, spirited gun bars and wicked personals were so hot that the damn ring broke.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “Head shot, simple, that’s how I’m getting busy, bullets will go in one ear and out the other, be like ‘Nigga, you should’ve listened to me'”
Recap: Punchline-heavy until he regresses a bit in the 3rd, Troy Brown edges a solid and performance-heavy Franchise in the 1st round with a nice rebuttal and then again in the 2nd with a more condensed turn when placed side-by-side with his opponent’s mostly one-note themed drenched round. That’s enough for a win from Brown, even if you think the final round could be edged to Franchise for struggling less with his flow as well as his bar quotient.
Verdict: Troy Brown (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Troy Brown – “If I lose, I’m clapping it up…that’s good sportsmanship!”
Recap: Always good to see two battle rappers with so much confidence in themselves. But as far as output goes, a way more consistent, set-up fiending and punch-heavy Whosane easily gets the one-up on an eccentric July Streets here.
Verdict: Whosane (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Whosane – “My right-hand man, told me he a realer, stone gangster till he rot in a box, but I could still give him the signal and have that .8 lift you like Simba at the top of the rock!”
Recap: Despite all the loud and distracting crowd noise that went down throughout the battle, a more comfortable in his element, set-up and (“I came in armed the blade, you’ll get a baraacka slice”) punchline-heavy Ryda still manages to make quick work of a struggling Top Class.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ryda – “As soon as I pull out [reaches for guns with both hands] Kid and Play, we gonna see how Class act!”
Recap: In what one could guess is one of the lamest angles ever attempted in battle rap history, Billy Bars decided that it would be ‘bright’ to build his round around Chess’ moniker with literal (“…and we’re running late to the next class”) schoolyard rhymes that were elementary at best, that he somehow thought were hype and had to leave your head shaking on how he got this battle in the first place. And yeah, he used ‘Leave it to Beaver’ in a bar…ummm yeah, this was just bad. Or better yet, only watch it for Chess’ steely (“My machete turns 6-feet nigga’s to 4’4″!”) urban dynamics–thank goodness he went first.
Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chess – “I’m a send your silly ass down Gwitty path…Paper trail!”
Recap: Sometimes a comedy (Swave: “Nigga you look like every picture you take should have a caption that say ‘Dark Skin Niggas Be Like…'”) roast and other times an actual rap (Ness Lee: “….you let him Jaden Smith ya, nigga you was sounding crazy nigga, on the spot looking uncomfortable like you played your sister in a game of Twister”) battle, thanks in part to his opponent’s round 1 choke, Swave Sevah outlasts Atlanta battle rap veteran Ness Less with better consistency on the bars, higher quality (“Respect me, I’m deadly, I’ll dead Lee, I’m the one they unleash when it’s war, you will probably Jet Lee [Li]”) wordplay and a nicer overall performance to get a win here.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ness Lee – “You’ll be the first to get it like we had an inside joke”
Recap: After getting edged in round 1 thanks to a shortened turn that even a so-so and elongated, but punch-heavy at times Conceited was able to sneak past, Bigg K turns it up in the latter rounds of this 3-round Ether battle (which btw had some fire visuals) with a gang of mocking personals, some killer schemes (most notably, the MTV show’s roundhouse in round 2) and flexing punchlines for the win against an opponent who by the middle of round 3 was so surprisingly pedestrian with the bars that even the booing crowd wasn’t having it.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Stop lying about how you fire tools and your hammer tucked, pussy, you short enough to tie ya shoes while ya standing up!”
Recap: Feet planted on a polished Belasco Theater stage in Los Angeles, Big T still brings the raw and gritty theatrics, rocking the crowd (and opponent Aktive) with a barrage of sizzling gun blasts, plenty of righteous mayhem, piercing wordplay and graphic punchlines/personals to easily catch a 30 over his mostly pedestrian adversary.
Verdict: Big T (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Big T – “Nigga, we leaving bigger spagetti in they lap, I’ll have my dog split they noodle like Lady and the Tramp!”
Recap: When a battle rapper spouts a ‘thank you for having me’ speech before he begins his 1st round, dishes an entire round of nursery school lines that each end in his opponent’s last name, drops microphone on the floor in a lame attempt at machismo and spits horrible bars like “You gonna get stuck, chewed the fuck up, left under these boots like gum Nitty!” with the sheer intensity (I’m guess that he thought that “Dope!” when he first wrote it tho) of a dude who clearly thinks he’s nice, not only do you know that you’re in for a long night, but one can only hope the crowd doesn’t throw stuff at him while they boo him off the stage. Yeah, this was that bad, to the point that you got the feeling that even Rum Nitty felt kind of sorry for the guy. Speaking, thankfully for the crowd in attendance and anyone who dares to watch this mismatch, he did his thing with consistently fire gun bars, steely punches and fiery wordplay that allowed for a battle where the fast forward button will certainly be needed.
Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 2-0 (couldn’t hear Nitty’s 2nd round due to bad audio)
Favorite line: Rum Nitty -“If a nigga get to fighting, I don’t lift no fist, you’ll see me squeezing in a brawl…that’s O’fficial’s tits!”
Recap: A resilient Thoota overcomes a tough start as well as Joe’s fervent punches in the opening round to edge the 2nd round with a couple of haymakers and easily take the deciding 3rd, after a choke from his lax opponent.
Verdict: Thoota (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Thoota – “Everybody talking like Joe is so major, and Joe got more flavor, since he wanna be black, after I knock his ass out, Lil Joe could be Joe Frazier!”
Recap: A nice showing by Daewoo, who started off a little slow before turning (“You better have a Plan B ‘cuz I ain’t kidding!”) it up towards the middle of his round, still can’t push back the delicious gun (“Under ya chin [bloowww!], look like I’m opening up a pizza box”!) sounds and body-prepping skills of Mack Mel, who for all his ill sonic execution, still had the courtesy to call the funeral home at the end.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “I’ll pull a strap from under the arm like I’m done checking my blood count!”
Recap: Even against a well-equipped (“How you 50 years old making tracks that are garbage?, you gonna be the first rapper to die from natural causes”) jokester like Caustic, Head Ice’s repeated tales on urban theatrics, introspective machismo bars and (yes, he has a funny side) dope (“How ya sister call her slippers house shoes if she got ’em on at the corner store?”) one-liners along with fanged lines dipped in personals and an eccentric (“I keep the peace like I’m Sharif brother, I bang, but ain’t no set gonna find these colors”) thug life are too much for those obsessed with racial semantics versus the simple thesis of who rapped better. Indeed, much as Caustic’s collective witticism garnered plenty of guffaws, too much filler and average bars against Ice’s quantitative heat and variety also did him in.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Head Ice – “Fucking bird, when you go sniff coke your nose hit the table first”
Recap: Hot at times, but mostly dishing pedestrian bars, Streetz Me gives himself little chance to keep up with the vibrant performance, effervescent flow and lofty (“These punches hitting like Tyson messiah, you called that, T.I. son, Messiah?!”) wordplay of Ha Style.
Verdict: Ha Style (W) 3-0
Favorite Line: Ha Style – “So you a Blood, whatever this Blood sport, I got something kicking out the Van…damn!”
Recap: Next Rap Battles 1-rounder between Jey The Nitewing and Formz is pretty one-sided as Jey’s crispy wordplay, piercing sports bars and hitting punchlines/personals beats back the mostly pedestrian bars from his opponent.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Your bars lipo-suck, I don’t know how you got so many views, when your round’s finished, the crowd clapping ‘cuz they don’t want to be rude!”
Recap: In this 3-rounder from Trap New York, Jimz brought the humor but not much else in terms of bar efficiency, leaving a gritty when needed and personal-spazzing Squeako with enough heat to edge each round and score a 30.
Verdict: Squeako (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Squeako – “Nigga, you ain’t never bagged up dummies and made a sale on the stoop, or lost your your legs ‘cuz shot dice and fell to the Duke!”
Recap: Shortened name. A couple of super short rounds. Leads me to guess that Un is more of a battle rap hobbyist than a guy seeking to gain a name in the game. Thus, an easy win for a much more polemic and versatile Stuey Newton in this 3-rounder from Alliance Battle League.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Stuey Newton – “Of course you been through it all…you the oldest muthafucka around!”
Recap: As expected, a close, competitive and entertaining battle between underrated vet Lotta Zay and rising up-n-comer Rum Nitty. Both dropped plenty of hot bars, added a few haymakers here and there and put on a dope performance for the crowd. Still, while Zay had a little more variety with the bars and stayed consistent throughout, Nitty’s wordplay and punches (“Get close up on him, with a snub and a black denims, i grab the nose get back and wet him, that’s a baptism!”) seemed to get better with each round. I got Zay taking the 1st, Nitty edging the 2nd and you can go either way on the 3rd.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “You don’t believe I got gun powder on my hands?, Smell My Finger like Suga Free”
Recap: Plenty of antics, jokes (Uno Lavoz: “Why doesn’t Daylyt like knock-knock jokes? because his father never came home”), hecklers, donations, rebuttals, antics, dance steps, racist lines, wrestling moves on the host, pushing, shoving, steady interruptions and even some (Daylyt: “Me? I’m Mr. Hanky with a spine problem, aww shit he back spazzing!”) bars mixed in–what else would you expect from a matchup between two of battle rap’s funniest and wildest characters? Uno wins round 1 with more variety, while Daylyt takes the second round with better (“You be at the bottom at the ocean like blue whale dookie”) bars, crowd-pleasing lines and less filler. Tied going into the 3rd, it’s Uno’s from jump, imitating Daylyt’s past performances with delightful effect, while Daylyt pretty much wastes the round to deal with personal hardship and past tribulations. Indeed, usually a Stone Cold stunner makes for an automatic win, but not in this case.
Verdict: Uno Lavos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavos – “To fuck Diddy or T.I., you like to choose!”
Recap: Nothing like getting in some practice before a battle on the main stage as Tink Tha Demon eschews formalities and tosses out a fierce litany of ‘throwaway’ (“Soon as I blast the shot, it’ll open your fucking earth to the point that an astronaut can feel the aftershock!”) bars at opponent Monstar, who had his (“Buck 50 nah this shit is getting old…give this nigga a hashtag!”) moments of crowd-pleasing theatrics, but spouted too much filler to have any chance of withstanding Tink’s barrage of demonic wordplay and rueful (“Twin .40s, life on the line, peep how I’m squeezing ’em!”) gun lines.
Verdict: Tink Tha Demon (W) 1-0
Favorite line: “I’m war-bred, a war vet, your mother will get th efeeling that you dead, but she ain’t for sure yet….till I ring the doorbell and throw the whole left arm on the doorstep!”
Recap: “These rounds we going 6 minutes” says host Sway. How funny and ironic was that during a way-too-long battle between Arsonal and industry rapper Mistah F.A.B.? Arsonal, who managed to drop some disrespectful (“I call her Big Drawers Backpin, the bitch all action”) shiners here and there. was so caught up in his raps, he doesn’t realize just how much filler he spits. But even worse, nonwithstanding all his hometown bars and lackluster elementary rhymes. speech-rap, fast-rap, impressions in addition to Batman drawers, you not know it’s really bad when F.A.B.’s crew can’t even get hype to his bars, much less when he calls Arsonal a ‘fake-ass Wale’ and acts like he spit something dope. Indeed, for all the battle rap fans who complain about industry rappers trying to infiltrate the battle world, besides the God-awful Canibus vs. Dizaster match, this is the second best way to make their case.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Arsonal – “Now I ain’t gonna compare you to the mainstream ‘cuz underground is where Fabby is, he just ain’t as underground as his mama and his daddy is”
Recap: In a solid freestyle battle that took place at the HighTimes Cannabis Cup in San Bernardino, CA, an admittedly high Dizaster still out-punches Krack City brethren Proaktive in the first two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Faggot sucks, he’s the only dude at the Cannabis Cup that doesn’t have any bud!”
Recap: Sleeper battle between D.O.T. and the New Jersey reppin C Low as a competitive matchup is decided by the 3rd round, what with Low edging round 1 with better bar (“I’ll leave you O-Solo [oh so low] with this Tek-9, and slam your cap to the floor like you just spit a T-Rex line”) potency, while D.O.T. got the 2nd by displaying more (“I’m in your bitch C Low!, whether you ace or not cuz around 1, 2 or 3…regardless D.O.T. [dot] in her box!”) versatility along with a nicer overall performance. The final round sees C Low continue to put on a tactical (“I’m an animal leaving nigga’s brain dead, out in the street with one boot and skully, looking like Waynehead”) barfest with each line delivered with a titled mission. However, D.O.T.’s 3rd round one-ups his 2nd and with his stellar delivery, similes, showmanship and history (“You supreme? show up in court…Supreme…Court, I’ll harm you, I’ll be the first negro banging hammers in court nigga, that’s Thurgood Marshall!”) lessons staying on point, it’s another victory for Brooklyn and the Dot Mobb.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “Catch him while he boo loving, heart shot!”
Recap: HA Double uses repeated personals, swift punchlines, punishing poetic haymakers, exquisite (“When some [sun] hot flashes at this bitch, it ain’t menopause!”) wordplay and crazy bars to put a hurting on local rival BC in this one-rounder from New Orleans Battle League.
Verdict: HA Double (W) 1-0
Favorite line: HA Double – “They picked you money as the Walking Dead, but I’ll still Rob a Zombie”
Recap: Solid turn by (“Don’t talk that trap shit to me neither, I done sold all kind of things, nigga we went through more bowls than one of your favorite college teams!”) Grandaddy Purp gets over overrun by a more (“I heard you fuck with young bitches, so don’t start with me, you famous for making kids cum [come]…Walt Disney!”) diverse and systematically nice Chef Trez in this one-rounder from Ball Hogg Battle League.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’ll give you a thousand dollars, then kill you, when I blam, fam in hell, Ninja Turtle shit…you’ll get a Bandana [bam then] shell!”
Recap: After an abbreviated 1st round that saw him struggle with his flow and cut his turn short, Yung Griz swipes away the nerves and delivers a couple of flexing rounds filled with spicy punchlines and boastful/witty screeds to come back and get the win over the speedy, but mostly bland stylings of CodexP in this 3-rounder from Casual Conflicts.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “Where ypu get off, talking all that fuck shit?…this ain’t the Party line!”
Recap: In this one-rounder from WeGoHardTV, some spitfire bars here (“You a Birdman, that shit so lame, but if I catch you with ya Rich Homie Quan?, you ain’t even gonna see the snub, just the nose ring!”) and there from Jonnie Danger still serves as no match when faced with the relentless heat, fiery (“I never talk to 5-0, ‘cuz where I’m from, they know the grip toast, and move like the Taliban, get low, wait till he get clipped then [phrooomm!!!] like the dollar van!”) set-ups and urban street talk from Dougy.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dougy – “The clip about as long as a ruler, I don’t need aim, I just empty the clip, soon as it click-clack nigga, if I shoot and I miss, my man gonna bang…that’s a put-back nigga!”
Recap: In this freestyle battle from Don’t Flop, DNA’s fierce rebuttal game proves to be too much for noted freestyler Dotz as the NWX capo takes 6 of the 10 (edged 3 for Dotz with one tie) rounds here for the win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 6-3-1
Favorite line: DNA – “That was cool but you still not killing me, I’m beating you lyrically, you could bring my mom’s wheelchair and still wouldn’t have this ability [disability]!”
Recap: Fiery, rapid-fire punchlines, mocking personals, witty barbs, piercing gun bars and plenty of workmanlike wordplay along the way as Ave easily takes all 3 rounds of this 3-round Trap House battle against a confident, but mostly subpar Ah Di Boom.
Verdict: Ave (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ave – “Got the strap, but never use it…he like a lonely dyke!”
Recap: Spitting fierce gun bars along with all-too-aggressive punchlines, Shotgun Suge has just enough left in his tank to outperform the fast-rap style and reflective (“Stop asking what’s life like if you ain’t living your dream”) stylings of Theory Truth.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Favorite Line: Shotgun Suge – “My niggas will chase your gang around the city like the Warriors”
Recap: Rosenberg and Jai put on a spirited battle on the RBE stage and it’s Jai who comes out on top with hard-hitting bars, delicious (“Just know whatever I hold in these hands I’m squeezing, they’ll find body parts of Rose’s [roses] everywhere, EMS won’t know whether if it’s a homicide or a romantic evening”) anecdotes, steady name flips and enough personals to make Rosenberg want to seek out a confessional. Almost a 3-0, but credit for Rosenberg for hanging in there, making it close and edging the 3rd round with that “stealing crabs like Jameis Winston” line. Verdict: Jai (W) 2-1 Favorite line: Jai – “You not a man of your words, 50 vs. Ross, I can’t believe the shit Rozay [Rose say]”
Recap: Proving once again that consistently taking battle rap seriously is still not an objective, Qleen Paper gives us yet another shady performance in a battle he should’ve easily won against Tone Bone. To think, he actually edged round with a variety of jokes and some solid punchlines versus mostly standard lines from Mr. Bone. But then in a move that totally came outta left field, Qleen literally gives away his 2nd round by letting new BFF QP spit for more than half the round–bars that wouldn’t even counted if they were dope considering that another man spit them. Last round finds Qleen serving up more style points than substance, allowing Bone to take advantage with a better delivery, despite having nothing all that spectacular to say, the effort alone makes for a debatable…smh.
Verdict: Tone Bone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “I tried to instruct him, but he was lost from the first step like an A.I. defender”
Recap: Extra spicy on the personal breakdowns (esp. during a spitfire, perfectly-executed 3rd round) throughout this match, Kid Chaos also uses a boatload of fiery schemes, hard-hitting name flips and piercing punchlines/set-ups to handily beat back a mostly modest punching I Am Spoken in this 3-rounder from Barbarian Rap League.
Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “You see the difference playa?, you got bars, but obviously don’t know what to do with it, but see my mom and my dad gave me presence [presents] I’m too gifted!”
Recap: Conceited hosts a mostly lackluster battle between Lil Joe and V6 Quan, that thanks to Joe’s righteous name flips and hard-hitting punchlines garners an easy 3-0 over the very basic bars of Quan.
Verdict: Lil Joe (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Lil Joe – “Chopper will turn you inside out, you better pray your skin’s reversible, I’ll turn that soft top…back, you’ll be a V6 convertible!”
Recap: A distinct looking oddity in battle rap still capable of spitting that resident (“You too soft, I don’t have to bang .9’s, if I walk up on you, the braids on the back of that neck will get hang time!”) heat, Young Robbles’ sizzling, bar-centric 1st round more than spouts his mettle. However, when resorting to crowd-pleasers and jokes it’s a different story as the predictability and lack of dearth in bars begin to show. Subsequently, for opponent Presidential Dubz, with a Proving Grounds opportunity on the line, a well-balanced flow throughout, but especially in rounds 2 and 3, dominated by fierce (“They say in America, everybody deserve to be treated equally right?, therefore I’m letting it blicka, ‘cuz I don;t give a fuck if you retarded, you getting killed like a regular nigga!”) bars, nice wordplay and frenzied schemes combined with Robbels overall descent, allows him to keep his place on the roof.
Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “A retarded nigga trying to be a captain…Major Payne!”
Recap: Able to survive an Arsonal (“Y’all got me battling a white boy on Black Friday…I could be in somebody line purchasing some cheap shit!”; “Ya bird give long neck, but ain’t fly, that’s an ostrich!”) onslaught of verbal gymnastics in round 2, overall Bigg K’s more consistent flow, punchline regimen and hard-hitting (“Broad day you get in the intersection, lick one in the air like I’m testing the wind direction!”) gun bars gets him the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bigg K – “Have your wifey and your sister do the dishes, after that they sucking dick, then little stupid bitches…I’mma make ’em split the pole, they ain’t superstitious!”
Recap: An AngryFan Radio 1-rounder between J. Murda and Chef Trez goes the latter’s way as the Chef’s more intricate punches, pointed mayhem and well-finessed wordplay work together to easily beat back Murda’s righteous boasts and mostly pedestrian forms of mayhem.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’m strapped up, just know that I’m always close to the .44 like Michelle Obama!”
Recap: Spirited as always but cohesive with the heat, while also displaying a fierce punchline game, some fiery name flips and even a bit of rocking humor, Danny Myers’ versatile mix of piercing punches is just enough to beat back a pretty solid, witty at times and raucous King Diesel in this competitive 3-rounder from Bars and Bodybags.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Force of a Mac truck within my grip, I’m just looking for a Diesel I can match this Semi with!”
Recap: Exquisite wordplay, wicked (“You’ll get a ring for nuthin’, that’s a TracFone black”) anecdotes and split-hairing bars, it’s all there as Xcel lives up to the title on his t-shirt against an at times game, but clearly overmatched Beach.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Xcel – “Put your eyes in your mouth little nigger, watch who you talk to”
Recap: Much as I’m sure the hardbody fans of battle raps in Detroit must’ve appreciated Charlie Clips (vs. Marv Won on the same card) and DNA making an in-town appearance, there’s just too much experience, similarity in styles and chances of a classic matchup for a DNA vs. M. Ciddy matchup to be reduced to a one-rounder. Smh. Nonetheless, while they both went in on the personals, name flips, (DNA: “What you thought cuz you was on this card you was get the power?, well they kill whoever I Battle so they should’ve gave Ciddy [Citty] towers”), jokes and (Ciddy: “You slept on me for a long time…Charlie’s sofa”) punches, it’s M. Ciddy who edges this one with better angles (ex. calling out his opponent’s rhyme pattern), a couple of more haymakers and a slightly performance, home crowd notwithstanding.
Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “You name drop every punch about a current event, you Tanqueray, you just a cheap version of Jin [gin]”
Recap: It takes an all-out, impressive performance to 3-0 the likes of Big Kannon and Ill Kill pulls it off here. Consistently impressing throughout with a fresh plate of aggressive gun bars, pristine (“You beating me, you gotta be Smokin’, stay off the grass, this is Stanley talking”) anecdotes, filthy wordplay, wicked snaps, and dope (“But if I’m hungry and starving and this fella be eating, this .40 going ‘Right On My Brother’ like a 70s greeting”) punchlines, a motivated and confident Ill Will reminds everyone in the building of why he was a UFF champion. And while Kannon no doubt cooked (“I got fire rounds, punches that’s gonna burn Will, I do a have a couple to take you out, in the 3rd wheel”) throughout, a little too much filler/name flips, a couple of weak rebuttals and a steady dose of Ill Will’s righteous heat just gave him little chance at winning.
Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ill Will – “I know how to make you and Gracie enemies like that, put a banana between y’all that’s Gorilla warfare!”
Recap: Battling himself with 3 way-too-lengthy rounds as much as he was his pedestrian-prone opponent TheSaurus, a punch-heavier was adept (esp. after a 1st round choke) enough with the pen to remain consistently spicy, via a wide load of racially-tinged barbs, fierce gun bars, boastful darts and gritty personals, in the latter rounds and come back for the win in this 3-rounder from Filmon.com.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “I’m from a block where nigger’s hand that raw tho, you the type of cracker that’ll stop at a red light…on Grand Theft Auto!”
Recap: Not much to see here as even an inconsistent Danja Zone’s best (“Every buck go in [gone] like Robin Givens”; the Doug E. Fresh bar/impression) moments were simply overwhelmed by KG the Poet’s wicked (“Get out the way from the .40 when it double, you see that big shot? [‘Bob!‘] that’s Robery Horry from the clutch”) performance bars, slick wordplay, substantive personals, jokes (“You battle rap’s Tevin Campbell”), sport bars and aggressive delivery. Toss in a dope rebuttal at the start of round 3 and you have an easy 3-0, no overtime necessary.
Verdict: KG the Poet (W) 3-0
Favorite line: KG the Poet – “I’ll hit you with a Tek, I will flare, the shit will make you feel weird, like you living with your ex”
Recap: Judging from the animated (“For thinking you the best, my bars will send you back home in a grave, [Pow!] that’s how you fly South West!”) bars, drips of sweat and constant aggression there’s no doubt that J Leggs was extra hype for this battle against Showoff. Plus, it’s hard to beat that real talk Leggs was spitting in round 3, which he won partly because of Showoff’s choke. But all that still wasn’t enough to beat two rounds of consistently dope wordplay, a sanguine delivery and uncompromising (“You a mark, in the flesh, like tribal status”) bars from the visiting team.
Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Showoff – “Back to bubbling water, that was a Gremlin line”
Recap: Sporting a faster and more relaxed flow than the 2016 version, Bangz easy comedic (“Every Bud like sex with superheroes….fucking fantastic!”) stylings and witty freestyle game are more than enough to beat a sometimes (“You look like a crackhead taking a dump, so rock with this shit!”) banging, but clearly overmatched Jak Tripper.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bangz -“And I’ll give you the skinny on where it stems from like…Bye Felecia!”
Recap: Entertaining battle between HA Double and Ah Di Boom makes for a dope show as well as a competitive matchup throughout. However, it’s HA’s wordplay, aggression, “reach” (“You fuck up more words than people with dyslexia”) angles and haymakers that edged him rounds 1 and 3 to get the win, despite Boom’s spirited (loved the ‘chainsaw’ screed in round 1) performance and at times, crazy bars–tho he did seem to falter towards the end.
Verdict: HA Double (W) 2-1
Favorite line: HA Double – “Your bars are like bitches who give hand jobs from the back, you just reach around”
Recap: Three scintillating, punch-heavy rounds by Haixian that were also delivered extra spicy when it came to wordplay, were enough to beat a solid and gritty, but also (except for round 3, where he scored a debatable) topsy-turvy Quban in this 3-rounder from Bar Bendas Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Haixian – “Like a razor blade in prison, I’ll sneak him in the mouth!”
Recap: Some riveting punchlines, fiery bars and an opponent, Gquban, who was mostly in over his head, allows Haixian to overcome a wasted 2nd round and still score a 3-0.
Verdict: Haixian (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Haixian – “But what you gonna do Baby Boy, when them shells is spitting? We’d [weed] be up all up in the garden like Melvin did it!”
Recap: In a one-round battle for who better reps that ‘money’, Mo edges a solid (“If y’all say Mo’s bar on fire…Simpson’s episode!”) Ish with flexing performance bars, more consistent heaters, harder punchlines and dicier wordplay.
Verdict: Mo Mula (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Mo Mula – “They ask me why I do shit like this on stage, nigga ‘cuz they like [Daylyt]!”
Recap: Traphouse’s J Murda makes his URL debut and it goes off without a hitch. Using nasty verbal hijinks, steady wordplay, on-point freestyles, crazy nice (“I bet your steel won’t wave like a metal flag”) punchlines, dope (“But believe me, to make it here, it wasn’t easy [but] they seen the way I was shooting God [guard], like he small, moving with power forward, made me the center of attention with a PG”) anecdotes together with all-too-confident swag, Murda gets an easy dub over Stebo. Who despite having moments of temporary shine and dope (“Your girl give me head while I’m driving, sometimes you gotta go with your gut”) punches, got tripped up by too many stumbles along with his opponent’s consistent heat to stand a chance here.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda -“But I’m dead tight they gave you the trip, ‘cuz I was with it to go to Atlanta, yunno to be the good sport, Al Horford and Kyle KorverCal, that’s just to give you a few Hawks”
Recap: A stellar first round (performance & wordplay) by Prez and a more quantitative 3rd edged him a dub here as while Foz dropped some nice bars here and there, too much filler and elongated punchlines left him coming up just short.
Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1
Favorite line: prez mafia – “I’mma come through dumping a .9 early, this is war, I keep two straps, let’s try…nigga that’s one out and one down, prez looking like 9:30!”
Recap: Replacing an absent Uno Lavos at the last minute with only a couple of hours prep, DNA flexes his battle rap acumen by mostly freestyling his entire round. And with a boatload of piercing punches and personals, the Queens, NY vet does just enough to score a sufficient amount of haymakers to edge the witty at times, but overall so-so written’s from Rone in this KOTD rematch.
Verdict: DNA (W) 1-0
Favorite line: DNA – “I don’t respect you Rone, the last time I was so upset, I came up last time with a bomb and you still ain’t blow up yet!”
Recap: Sometimes Goodz just makes it look too easy. Not to say Ah Di Boom wasn’t game here, what with his usual top-notch performance all the while spitting some extra cripsy (“You pull bitches, I pull triggers, there’s a difference in Mack’s”) heat that served as a reminder as to why Goodz gave this ‘PG’ a shot in the first place. But in a one-rounder against the likes of Mr. Half-a-Gallon, Ah Di’s few dry spots were enough for Goodz to take advantage. And that he did with a heavy barrage of rich bars, steady jokes, winning (“Now getting money I’m nice tho, your green too small to talk, this ain’t Geico”) metaphors and wicked (“In the lunchroom I had my own table, you ain’t ever laugh with the cool niggas”) stunting on the wordplay. Taking time out hid busy schedule to school another young’un, you’re only left to wonder what it’d be like if he battled more often.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Goodz – “How do steal a nigga’s body shape?”
Recap: Battle of a couple of Long Island’s best stays (Mike P: “Your stage presence match who you is, a bitch God, 5 bodies under my belt Rell, don’t be a 6th God!”) exhilarating, scheme-heavy and close throughout, with an elongated, but consistently (“I”m surprised you took this battle, ‘cuz the one you had with Chicago proved you got trouble dodging punches, but not for nothing this will be the first you seen Mike drop…Buster Douglas!”) fiery Reepah Rell taking the first, while Mike P edged the second with a more versatile (“Your crackhead baby mom’s ain’t that bad, I mean the next lane, but she kind look like Beyonce…when she was drugged out at the Nets game!”) line of fire as well as a higher bar quotient. Last round had them both spitting that (Mike P: “I got two .40’s, when they crack you won’t know English, No! two 40’s in my hand, get cracked with Old English!”) heat, but a slight slip-up from Mike and Rell’s more intense (“These cartoon-ass nigga’s, comedian nigga’s, they need to man up, ain’t no laughs with these punch lines, if you dead on the floor, how the fuck you gonna stand up [stand-up]!”) haymakers, gives the guy from Hempstead the win.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “See you, like a fan to me, nigga’s like you claim they got guns, but not saying a thing, you never had arms, you that hand from the Addams Family!”
Recap: Marv One deserves props for making this match close, but as Charlie Clips made sure to point out that’s mostly because he rapped way longer (not that Clips should be upset with that considering how long he went against fellow Michigan spitter X-Factor not too long ago) than his opponent. Still withstanding a dope round of frequent personals, jokes and hot (“You trying to fight Jesus in Bethlehem and a couple of heathens got you down to win, but I bet that change when they see me walking on the same waters you drowning in”) bars from Marv with a more condensed mix of rebuttals, scoring (“We could throw the hands Marv, on some real shit I need a new challenge, uppercut, you’ll get zzz’s on your ftee now that’s a New Balance”) punchlines, a couple of haymakers, working schemes and winning personals, Clips is able to hold off a near upset.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “When you do the uncut version of ‘8 Mile 2’ tell Eminem I’m the celebrity”
Recap: If this battle was a one-rounder, Uno Lavos and Young X might”ve had a classic on their hands. That’s how incredible and crazy round 1 was as both Young X (“I ain’t no blood I don’t care if it’s poppin’, but I’ll leave a blue Crip flat in the street like handicap parking”) and Lavos spit that heat, landing blow after low with repeatedly dope punchlines, personals, jokes and bars. If only X had been as entertaining (against the likes of Uno that’s not easy I know, but X has readily shown in the past that he can be a crowd pleaser) as his opponent, which coupled with more haymakers gave Uno the first round. After that things got pretty light as X just couldn’t deliver the consistency, performance and standout (lines like “I’ll put that metal all through your shirt, no coat hanger” didn’t go over anyone’s head, they just didn’t hit) bars we’re used to seeing from him. Yet, while Uno landed some punches with the “reach” jokes, Young X doesn’t have a rep for reaching and his round was a little too short. Come the 3rd, Young X continued to disappoint (“Lyrically I’m sick, this how Aids sound”) with the bars to the point where you might’ve thought this couldn’t be the same guy who had a near classic/debatable battle against the likes of Brizz Rawsteen. After X’s turn, with an easy dub at hand, Uno stepped it up with a slew of jokes, personals and nice flips on X’s flow/style, just enough to overlook that slip-up/near choke towards the end and take the win.
Verdict: Uno Lavos (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Uno Lavos – “I said who told you you could get on this stage to rock with me?, I got two guns, Rick Ross, Ja Rule, both spitting about 50”
