Recap: Shotti P supplied some nice (“Besides the faking, you wanna know the real reason I can’t rock with you? You make being a full grown adult look impossible!”) jokes and feelgood (“I’m from Detroit, you from New Haven, let’s have a turf war, you’ll see a ratchet waving like a slut on a surfboard”) punchlines, but a costly slip-up in round 3 combined with Citty Towers more consistent (“Get live, I’ll get more live, I’m Michael Jordan, I just play different with that 4-5 [.45]!”) wordplay and an extra fierce (“If this wasn’t King of the Dot you’d be viewed as a shadow, I get more likes on a picture than you get views on a battle”) first round, ended up giving Towers the dub.
Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cityy Towers – “You tell too many jokes, that tell me that your life sweet, you’re vegan, you don’t get cheese, you don’t like beef!”
Recap: After spitting a doper (“He got a Prez Mafia, PG-step, starter kit flow”) and more profuse first round, Rosenberg Raw gets an unexpected visit from Earl, allowing J Murda to even things out with his own round of stellar gun bars and casual (“When I raise the llama, ayo it’s Drake and Madonna, it get nasty when the 50 in ya mouth!”) haymakers in round two. A decisive 3rd round is edged by Raw, who got his groove back enough to execute perfunctory (“I’ll grip tight around his throat like the crew neck crispy”) punchlines along with aggressive shiners and outdo what was a disheveled final round by Murda.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “I seen ya battle verse Maserati, that shit was mild sauce, y’all both won 2-1, nigga the crowd lost!”
Recap: Other than biting an old (…’I’m a bomb threat’) Conceited line, it’s all (“It’s suicide time, he gonna skit his wrist watch [wristwatch], you ain’t gotta be constipated to get your shit rocked!”; “The difference between me and you? I’ll do things and never regret it, pull his card and swipe Paper, what’s that?, credit or debit?!”) Jerry Wess here in this one-rounder versus Gwitty. Who while more known for his sideline interruptions than what he actually does in the ring, delivered a solid (“I’ll punch him like the NBA logo, you’ll see Jerry Wess [West] leaning!”; “Lynch him, grab the rope if it’s meant to be, put the beats on him and tie the knot like Alicia Keys!”) first-half of his round, before succumbing to repetitious one-liners, some nonsensical bars and personals that had nothing to do with his opponent. Still, if this is the battle that really (to paraphrase Gwitty) ‘raised the stock’ of (“His team jump in?, head shot, roof blaming, Nick banging on the Wildin’ Out girls.,.I’m a loose Cannon!”) Wess, then it was well worth the look.
Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “If it’s about Dead Presidents then it’s a difference, I’ll swing that .22 over your head…[raises arms then points them at Gwitty] like Richard Nixon, I aim at his face, I’m trying to smoke somethin’…squeeze that .22 I’m trying to [squeezes fingers like quotes] quote somethinn’!)
Recap: Spazzing throughout this battle with a shitload of fiery punchlines/name flips, forecasting her opponent’s personals with her own narratives, steely with the bully bars and serving up an extra dose of wit, moxie and downright cattiness with the personals, for 3 rounds a consistently nice, lyrical and piercing Ms. Hustle easily beats back a mostly subpar with the punches and reach-heavy O’fficial in this Summer Madness 5 battle from Smack/URL.
Verdict: Ms. Hustle (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ms. Hustle – “Bitch, you stupid? I be hearing you say you’re pretty, gorgeous, let’s come clean, whore, you’re a big nigga bitch a nigga will never cop some lean for, if it ain’t my face, then it’s my ass, but you’re not the one they fiend for, you’re the big bitch a nigga be mad as hell they have to take one for the team for!”
Recap: Dizaster: “I don’t need race jokes”…then proceeds to spout mostly race jokes. West-coast vets Diz and Dumbfounded (who to be fair also kicked a plethora of Muslim barbs throughout the battle) meet up on KOTD for 3 hilarious/high energy rounds and it’s a close one with a whole slew of fiery (Diz: “His name is Dumbfoundeed, but he’s also known as Hannibal Lecter when he’s at the animal shelter!”) personals, lyrical darts, witty (Dumbfounded: “You thought I was gonna call you something like a cab driver, that’s stupid as hell, it’s 2015 you drive an Uber XL!”) bangers and fierce punchlines. But after an equally hysterical first from both battlers, the ever-aggressive Diz separates himself from his longtime rival with more haymakers as well as a gang of piercing rebuttals and amiable freestyles in the latter two rounds that allows the man from the Rising Sun to win the battle.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dizaster – “You ain’t the type of Asian guy to throw a giant fireball, you the type of Asian guy that I would call if I needed help installing my firewall!”
Recap: Fiery trap (“I’ll show you how we moving the work, he still hand to hand’s, Sandra Bland, y’all won’t get the picture till ya man is dead!”) talk, gritty street (Rex: “I was taught not to run to police, you supposed to fire back, so much gunsmoke they be looking like where the fire at?!”) semantics/tutorials, salacious (Rex: “These bullets are like child support, they gonna go to mama, even tho they was meant for you!”) gun bars, steely punchlines/schemes…they’re all there in this dope battle between the stay grinding T Top and wily veteran T Rex. However, it’s a shitload of stinging personals and fire wordplay, mostly served up by Top, that make the difference here, whether it was slamming set-ups on his punches, pointed Rex/Mook comparisons, real life street shit or flexing/witty bars on Rex’s (“Ironically, I’m a have a dot when I reach his ass!”) Dot Mobb crew, his battle rap career and/or his sex life/marriage problems. And while credit will be given to the sometimes lackadaisical-with-the-pen Rex for coming prepared with 3 fierce, braggadocios and at times, performance-rocking rounds, it’s a more versatile, consistent and haymaker-dropping Top who takes this one.
Verdict: T Top (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T Top – “The mac hanging out the window, it’s like a drive-thru, potato on the front of the barrel, you getting fries too!”
Recap: You say what you want about Tay Roc’s affinity for gun bars, but the fact is the guy can rap and you don’t become the face of URL/Smack if you weren’t able to dish out so many exquisite bars, much less have so many of your peers feening to battle you. Trust the process. Summer Madness. A battle long in the waiting ever since Roc dissed Calicoe while he was right there on stage, during his tide-turning battle versus Rich Dollarz not too long back. Round one certainly had plenty of replay value what with Roc tossing salacious gun darts and belittling punches/schemes (natch on the turkey/’turducken’ bars) reckless abandon and only being edged by a more versatile, perfectly-executed, (“See, you just talk them gun bars, then rap about how your shotty spit, I talk that Big Cat, Big Meech and Maserati Rick…they call me Calicoe, but it ain’t the first gun I caught a body with!”) cadence-friendly and bar-potent Calicoe. Second round sees an undeterred and even more aggressive Roc still dishing rampant heat, but also mixing it up a bit with some witty (“Now I ain’t gonna say you was skinny-dipping with nigga’s, but in that picture you was skinny-dipping with invisible bitches!”) personals and a nice rebuttal to beat back a solid, but not near as formidable as his 1st round by Calicoe. 3rd and deciding round was another solid turn by both battlers, with Roc changing things up a bit, going more personal than usual while also hitting with some fiery wordplay and dope (“I clap it till it got a temperature, that’s a scary sight, I’mma wind up in a cell, See us [Celsius], ain’t fair in height [Fahrenheit]!”) gun bars/punchlines. On the other hand, Calicoe, while dishing tru-isms on his hustler days, bully (“He on this stage talking like he don’t love to live!”) bars and his opponent’s love for weaponry, hurt himself a bit with redundant themes on Roc joining Dot Mob and a few pedestrian bars that didn’t quite line up with his steady vigor. Thus, give a more consistent Roc the edge at the end.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Smack fuck with me ‘cuz I son these nigga’s…and sign them over to custody!”
Recap: Although credit should go to Full Effect for calling out Bigg K’s poor sportsmanship (“You a hoe, stop rolling your eyes in the middle of niggas flows”), battling in what looks like a classroom, this one couldn’t end soon enough as Bigg K’s resident jokes (“I smell like gun powder and kush funes, your mustache look like a push broom!”) and fierce punchlines easily take out Effect’s mostly lame schemes/one-liners and lazy race card angles.
Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Bigg K – “I’ll choke slam ya grandmom’s in a Red Robin, threw a table like — at a press conference, then go out and hide the body like I’m self-conscious!”
Recap: Featuring the longest argument over a coin flip that you’ll probably ever see, Charlie Clips versus Loaded Lux is also a battle of time constraints, some ridiculous punchlines, heated personals, dope schemes and of course, Charlie Clips’ pops–the latter of which has never actually appeared at a battle, but whom too many opponent’s of Clips seem to be obsessed over proving whether or not he was a snitch. Either way, Harlem versus Harlem almost always makes for a fire match and this one, while not reaching the sheer loquaciousness of say a Head Ice vs. Swave Sevah, still had its moments.
There was a more condensed Clips taking out a solid, but filler-drenched 1st round by Lux with gritty punchlines, fiery (“Now when you came up with that slogan ‘You gonna get this work’, that sent chills down my spine, that shit was crazy B, but the work you give out don’t last that long, but you the Temp agency!”) personals and some crazy wordplay. In the 2nd round, Lux edged a witty Muslim/Lux-impression and some more potent personals by Clips with a versatile turn of lofty personals, gripping (“It’s time Smack, why your fake shooter always worrying about the time clock?!?”) punches, a stifling freestyle and boastful bangers that all hit their mark.
Littered with squabbles on time limits, the 3rd and deciding round saw Lux go T-Rex on Clips with a turn centered on his opponent’s alleged family (“You and your daddy a couple of Chatty Patty’s!”) dysfunction–all good for Harlem-nites long familiar with these tales, but for others, most likely an elongated turn on a theme we’ve already seen before. Even with the paperwork. Still, as we previously saw with Rex, Clips seemed to already have an idea about what was coming, coming right back and dishing a couple of nice (“Charlie Clips a pussy?!, c’mon y’all, imagine that, you broke down my father’s past, but what the fuck that got to do with battle rap?!”) rebuttals in the midst of more jaunty wordplay and hitting schemes/personals in yet, another more condensed round that ended up getting him an impressive win.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “I watched Rex you on 8th and I seen this man fry, so if you battled on the roof and the loser had to jump, either you ass-betted or you can’t die!”
Recap: Against a pretty solid, raucous and aggressive J. Dose who’s probably heard it all by now about the infamous Math fight, Hollaluyah Jones does a dope job giving the incident barely a mention and instead uses a gang of hardbody punchlines, stifling gun bars and flexing wordplay to get the win in this competitive 1-rounder from Spittaz League.
Verdict: Hollaluyah Jones (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Hollaluyah Jones – “Your career?, ACL injury…low tier!”
Recap: Chess pulls off an impressive road win, squaring up on this West-coast URL Traffic card against a very solid and punch-centric Rum Nitty, with an aggressive and noteworthy performance that was littered with clandestine wordplay (‘think about it’), potent punchlines, righteous (“That trey-fine, in L.A., like I’m holding Blake Griffin!”) gun bars and ferocious set-ups. It’s enough to take rounds 1 and 3, the yung’un only getting edged in the 2nd round (despite a handful of haymakers) due to a slow start and a more consistent and fiery (“I look at you and still see food…Jameis Winston!”) Rum.
Verdict: Chess (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chess – “The head shot was unreal like a fake I.D.!”
Recap: A lot of extracurricular shit in this battle what with a white rapper (G Mayne Frost) using the N-word, a pocket check (by Frost) and a near brawl occurring between Arsonal’s camp and Frost’s after Arsonal literally wiped his dreds on Frost’s shoulder. As for the battle itself? Pretty competitive with plenty of spicy punchlines/boasts, witty barbs, gritty gun bars/personals and racial bangers from both battlers throughout the bout. And while the 3rd round was filled with a handful of dicey moments, a more condensed and consistent with the punches Arsonal gets the edge in the deciding round here for the win.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “Your daughter got the Gary Coleman disease, little old bitch, I’ll purposely walk in her room and feed some coke to her goldfish!”
Recap: The long-awaited return of Iron Solomon takes place against the enigmatic Daylyt on KOTD and for the most part it’s an oddfest. Iron manages to spit some hot name flips, gripping (“We see what this Grape has done for the limelight, imagine what this fruit would do for a Klondike”) punchlines, favorable feelers (“I ain’t mad at that loss, I can handle that bruise, you know what happened to past Jews, we used to having bad news, you heard of King Solomon’s wives, I’m used to having mad boo’s”) on the Mook battle and the usual personals on his opponents antics that’s long been noted, but too often with a standard flow that could use some repackaging. While the ever aggressive and fast-rapping Daylyt, who happens to be a Dot Mobb member, for the most part stays away from personals, instead going for some dope (“One arm [lifts arm up] then Iron in the sky, I’m Magneto!”) name flips and esoteric bars that were both hit and miss. A lot of overrated lines from both battlers kept it close, but with Iron easily taking round one and edging the second thanks in part to another too short round from Daylyt, all in all it’s a successful comeback from Mr. Solomon.
Verdict: Iron Solomon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Daylyt – “Get put to fucking sleep when I peel bitches, I’m Bill Cosby!”
Recap: Edging the round with a nice rebuttal to start the first and taking advantage of Profecy’s lack of stamina in the 3rd with a (“….you must be Wile E. Coyote, fucked around and fell into a trap that wasn’t meant for you!”) teachable and overall stronger turn, in what was a pretty close and solid battle throughout, an aggressive and more versatile (“Go ahead, talk about how many times cats slayed when ya mac raised, ‘cuz even if Profecy [prophesy] comes truth, he’s in his last days!”) Stuey Newton ends up taking this West-coast PG matchup.
Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Profecy – “You see, everything Stuey says, he be trying to sound so tough, so I give Black rights, then the [motions hand upwards like fist/gun] pound go up!”
Recap: Took him till the 3rd round to get turned up, but after a couple of (for him anyway) average rounds littered with pedestrian bars that led to a split with the mayhem-dishing and sometimes witty, but filler-prone Gauge, JC finally separates himself from his opponent with a spitfire 3rd round that drenched with steely punches, rambunctious schemes and some fierce wordplay, gets him the round and the win.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Now I’m giving shots, but you can’t match nothing I spit, look who they bumped you against, check the dash, this gauge don’t even see the same numbers I hit!”
Recap: As the story goes Danny Myers wanted a legend on his resume so bad that he was willing to pay $12K to do it. Was it worth it? Guess it depends on who you ask. Nonetheless, at least Rex showed up and put up a fight for most of the battle and despite a mostly subdued crowd that either can’t appreciate top-notch bars or just hated on a guy because he’s from the West coast, Danny still impressed. First round was close with Danny dropping some straight heat along with rapid (“I’m supposed to be humble ‘cuz you a legend? fuck that, how clown?, shooting at you from my balcony the time I bow down”) haymakers and all-too-potent personals. However, a motivated Rex edged the 1st with more consistency to his bar quotient, some straight (“I took your $12,000 and battled you when I wanted to nigga!”) stunting and a platitude of urban (“Tell Danny I got a box for him, and them freckles don’t look the same when there’s stitches on top of ’em!”) flair that reminded you of why he’s a legend in the first place. However, as it turned out the opening round would be the best overall round and the chance of a true legend vs. up-n-coming star possibly taking flight wouldn’t take place. As come the 2nd and 3rd rounds things returned to normal with Danny continuing to prove why he’s currently one of the best in the game, dropping more steady haymakers and fiery knockdown (“Bitch nigga like you can get exposed, real quick I’ll lift his soul, I’m in his bushes, crouched down [bends down] with the deuce like a prison pose”) punches without missing a beat, while Rex failed to build off his momentum with shortened rounds, more time complaints and grown man bars that were pretty much hit or miss. But hey, Danny finally got his long-awaited battle/win and the fact that Rex actually stayed away from the mixtape bars, went back to basics and gave you three original rounds feels like progress.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I ain’t like the nigga you got, I’ll put you in the grave Rex, now I’mma take the chain off this pussy…like slave sex”
Recap: Bill Collector’s persistent steez on (“I’m at Liberty for Bell because I deal crack!”) bars over performance holds a lot of weight in round one here versus D.O.T., but falters a bit afterwards, thanks to some lazy rhymes and overall way too much pontificating. On the other hand, a comfortable (“Just stop, I’m really a street fighter, I’m no liar, just think Zhou Shen, maybe because I reach and spit fire!”) D.O.T. is a dangerous D.O.T., especially with the elasticity on his wordplay that occurred when he wasn’t spitting punches with the able renditions of say…a Hitman Holla or an old Bill Collector. It’s certainly a crowd-pleaser, but don’t let that take away from the fact that D.O.T. was just better here. Round 1 saw D.O.T. consistently hitting with more heated (“Blow the brain’s on ya body [what that mean?]…maybe you should think for yourself!”) punches and dramatic schemes, before a round 2 that while showing Bill dishing some random shiners here and there, again being outperformed and out-barred by a more steely and intrinsic (“True shit, my aim like my money nigga, I could count on it!”) opponent. 3rd round saw Bill step it up and get back in his grind, using frenetic performance (“I done fucked you up with like 67 different flows, dirty D.O.T., Roscoe, knocking with this nippy nose!”) bars and pointed personals to edge what was a solid, but elongated turn from D.O.T. Classic? Probably not. But yet another flexing of D.O.T.’s potency…even if he isn’t always rhyming.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I ain’t got shit to lose, I told your bitch don’t get cracked from this Remy Ma bottle….or get hit with a long nose, it got a Papoose nostril!”
Recap: Plenty of loud, aggressive heaters/punches by Grandaddy Purp make for a competitive battle. But too many pedestrian bars from Purp along with a sizzling mix of stinging wit, spitfire punchlines and fierce name flips gets a more consistent and potent B. Magic the sweep.
Verdict: B. Magic (W) 3-0
Favorite line: B. Magic – “I fear none, I come for your damn wig, nighttime, ducked off with a mask and a damn cig, then what’s in the dark come to light like Aunt Viv!”
Recap: In a battle for the KOTD chain, after being eclipsed by a barrage of short jokes and boastful barbs by champion Pat Stay in the 1st round, Illmaculate ups the ante and adds witty personals, piercing schemes and some fly rebuttals to an already substantive punch game to take the 2nd. That’s before Mac repeats the same formula of slick wordplay with edgy personals and bouyant punches to edge an opponent who while still competitive through the rest of the battle, for the most part ditched the humor and personals in the latter rounds for steely pontifications and lyrical darts that while more condensed and solid throughout, couldn’t quite match Illmac’s more well honed polemics in the deciding 3rd.
Verdict: Illmaculate (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Illmaculate – “That Ed Hardy belt style of yours I’m way beyond, say I’m wrong, you are one Affliction shirt away from being a walking Jager bomb!”
Recap: 3-rounder from Go-Rilla Warfare has some editing problems in the video during round 1 (so we’ll call that a draw), but afterwards you can see Big Kannon responding in kind to all the smoke adn bully bars Heavy Half was dishing with a bunch of witty barbs, some spicy punchlines/rebuttals, hitting schemes and rugged name flips to take the latter two rounds for the win.
Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Kannon – “Understand why you even stand here today Heavy, you ain’t gotta look at me and Gracie’s body structures to know that we made Heavy!”
Recap: After asking the crowd if they wanted gun bars, Holmzie da God proves to be reliable with a load round of heated shots along with a steady mix of righteous (“You test me and get a ‘Que?‘, that’s ‘what’ in Spanish!”) punchlines and neat name flips, all in all, pushing past a solid (“Cuz I’ll fuck around and reach for the thang, then I’m a disrespect God…bitch I’m speaking in vain!”) overall, but too many dry spots-having Tre Authenicc.
Verdict: Holmzie da God )W) 1-0
Favorite line: Holmzie da God – “This shotgun like being 7-fott in the 6th grade, boy that’s a bis-ass 12!”
Recap: Some hard (JS: “One soft thrown punch will leave your jawbone crushed, you’ll go to sleep, wake and see your kids all grown up!”; BC: “‘Pop’, ‘Pop’ Jonny’ll stop drop and call cops, this off top and I put that on my bald spot”) bars and nice performance lines from both sides makes this matchup between Jonny Storm and Bill Collector a lot closer than you’d think after just one look. Still, it’s Jonny Storm’s versatility, more consistent flow and richer personals that gets him rounds one and three as well as the win.
Verdict: Jonny Storm (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jonny Storm – “Ever since this queer got tossed like a punk, he grew this big-ass beard like shit will soften the punch”
Recap: Not much of a contest here as Real Sikh’s hi-end gun bars, witty old man jokes, religious rebuts and piercing punchlines/name flips combine to overwhelm a mostly subpar Bobhy Bats in this 3-rounder from UDubb.
Verdict: Real Sikh (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Sikh – “Extend my arm before I put the deuce up…that’s a selfie stick!”
Recap: Yet another 1-round matchup that deserved 3 instead, sees E-City put on a quality, competitive show with repeated (“You staying under Top [T-Top], like Snapple Facts!”) punches that mostly hit their mark against a performance, rich Brizz Rawsteen who when he wasn’t dishing sanguine mayhem, stayed on point with feelgood (“White boy from Boston, this ain’t for real, he got that Ben Affleck, Matt Damon feel!”) personals, soul-lifting name flips and stifling wordplay/set-ups.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Fuck all ya scheming rap, all that scheming crap, long nose, 3-5-7, I could scheme with that!”
Recap: Bit of a surprise here, what with Rosenberg Raw going up against DNA in a 5-minute, one-rounder on Don’t Flop of all places. Both came with it, delivering an orgy of hard (Rosenberg Raw: “See, I could talk about them burners ‘cuz this .22 pregnant with like 9 kids”; DNA: “Think I won’t give Rosenberg this hot .9, y’all must be on E bro [Ebro]”) bars and lucid personals. But it’s Raw who edges this one with more versatility to his rhymes, nicer haymakers and a slightly better delivery/performance over DNA, who may need to work more on separating his solo flow from his NWX tag-team flow.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “See, my problem is with your pops and off of this fact, see if your mom mentally disabled, why would he hit that?”
Recap: It’s just too much Roc in this one, as despite Brizz Rawsteen bringing his entire arsenal of deft performance bars, (“Two hands on a .9, that’s real nigga time!”) loud/aggressive and hitting punchlines, pronounced delivery and witty polemics/personals to the match, Tay Roc’s steady ability to floss with rich gun lines, spitfire punchlines, kindred vet (“Nigga’s always talking about what they woulda did, till they the one’s that it happen to you!”) speak, fiery wordplay, ‘random’ (“I said, Summer Madness coming, Calicoe, stop running, Conceited, how you 4-foot 5 and still ducking?, John John still talking shit, he gonna make me steal something…”) shiners and braggadocio haymakers (all of which particularity shined and got him rounds 1 & 2, before a debatable 3rd) prove to be too much for the Dark Side up-n-comer, who while getting better as the battle proceeded, not only had too many dry spots, for the most part just couldn’t match his opponent’s consistency and versatility.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Hey, to all them nigga’s claiming Gun Bar King, them nigga’s not me, I used to carry 1, now I pair it [parrot], they trying to mock me!”
Recap: Gotta admit throughout his 3 rounds Dizaster killed (“I’d give this guy a hundred bucks just to see him try to double-dutch”; “You being overweight is starting to fuck with your ability to be a G cousin…you’re limited to drive-bys only!”) with the jokes and personals here against Big T–however, that one angle of comedy amounted to like 75% of his lines. On the other hand, after struggling a bit with his delivery in round 1, Big T got his groove back in the latter rounds, using a steady mix of nasty personals, crowd-pleasing punchlines, amiable (“This steel can get out of hand like a Logan sequel”) wordplay and fleeting (“I’m like damn Diz, y’all already controlling the gas”) jokes to come from behind and take the win.
Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big T – “Fuck fairness, nigga I’m coming to kill your parents, off Terrence, I’ll grab a butcher knife, tear it, rib in your chest, Breast Cancer Awareness!”
Recap: “It’s 8 o’clock”. Smh. With all the unprofessional interruptions, bad mics and b/w footage, I guess there are plenty of good reasons why King Juce Battle League got out of the battle rap business pretty quickly. Small battle league problems aside, Hitman Holla and Math Hoffa still put on a pretty good show with plenty of witty barbs, fiery personals, showmanship (esp. on Hitman’s part, what with the ‘gun ), some hot punchlines, fierce braggadocio lines and even a couple of nice rebuttals (esp. Math’s shot at ‘Big Gerald’ in the final round). Tied going into the 3rd, the edge here goes to Hitman, but not so much for what he did do in what was a essentially a solid turn, but for what Math did, which is go on too long with too many pedestrian bars in an elongated turn that would’ve been winnable if it was just more condensed with less filler.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “It’s a known fact that if you strapped, it’ll never ring, [but] if you see me with a hammer, I’m coming to fix everything!”
Recap: From QOTR, impressive lyrical performance, filled to the tee with a gang piercing punchlines, real street talk and witty (“Ya head so fucking big, it probably don’t fit in a fitted cap!”) barbs, from Don Ladyii earns the Queens, NY, emcee a draw with a versatile, punch/multi’s and personal-lit Casey Jay. Indeed, after the two battlers opened things up in round 1 with a punchfest for a tie, a slightly more consistently spicy Casey would edge round 2 before Don returned the favor in round 3 of what was overall a dope battle.
Verdict: Debatable
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “Blame whoever set up my last two battles ‘cuz they giving me Fetti the Trap Queen, I’m back out swinging, how you thought I was gonna sleep on you, I’ll blow ya brain through your head to help you think thinsg through!”
Recap: In front of a raucous Smack/URL crowd, “The Kingpen” uses lofty name flips, spirited personals, some witty schemes, wicked wordplay and rapid punchlines to score a 30 on Prep. Indeed, while the well-dressed spitter from Maryland got better with his punches as the battle proceeded, Prep’s angles were too often ubiquitous and that’s when he wasn’t dishing standard heaters that just weren’t as nice as he might’ve thought when he first wrote them up. Add to that, a Chilla Jones with excellent stage presence and a more condensed package suited squarely for the big stage, even if he wasn’t dressed as nice for the fight, Jones’ return to Smack is still a memorable one.
Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Chilla Jones – “This a fucking mismatch, them even putting me against you, I’m nice with the grammar see [Gramercy], that’s why they booked me for the venue!”
Recap: In what was a close and gritty punchfest from both battlers, a cleaner-flowing and more consistently spicy Zig Zag gets the win over Bill Collector in this 1-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Zig Zag (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Zig Zag – “Where the money Bill?, and I’m a need the answer soon, or you gonna see these animals on ya head…think Daniel Boone!”
Recap: Top tier battle rappers get paid to battle no-names all the time, it’s just part of the business. But a dude with battle rap experience, but fresh out of prison from an 8-year bid putting $10K on the line to battle Hitman Holla?!? Well, while that certainly doesn’t happen every day, it definitely speaks to Hitman’s immense popularity and you’d think it’d at least be competitive. The problem for Hitman is, of course, that his verbal acumen doesn’t always match his mass appeal and against a dude with plenty of times to write bars, that could be risky. In this case, after two rounds of dishing aggressive and performance-heavy, but mostly basic bars, Hitman’s lucky that his opponent, Byron Blake, while dipped with plenty of bravado and aggression, really didn’t really put points on the scoreboard till the 3rd round. In other words, a battle with a lotta dough on the line fails to impress and Hitman does just enough to sneak out of there with a win.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I’m still warming up, this just a prefix nigger, Showout!, Hey yo Showout!…see, you ain’t even worth the remix, nigger!”
Recap: We’ve seen a better (“I know your name Christopher and you supposed to be the wildest in ya city dog, but every fat rapper with a lisp and lazy eye ain’t Biggie Smalls!”) Bedaffi Green and a better Hazey Williams. But despite a sometimes indistinguishable flow, it’s Hazey wild assortment of rich (“You be like Roddy Piper died, I be like ‘So?’…niggas still getting killed in the ring!”) punchlines and nice name flips that gets him the dub in the end.
Verdict: Hazey Williams (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hazey Williams – “…and face a sentence over your head, are y’all feeling my meme?!”
Recap: Despite overperforming at times, the recently on fire Danja Zone gave you three solid (“See the issue, he’s not the most elite of writers, but deserves an Oscar for acting, that’s bologna, what makes you think we need a Meyers [Myers]”) rounds here against Danny Myers, a plethora of nice (“You just mad ‘cuz you not Carter, the team hot, but you not…Ron Harper!”) punchlines and rich performance bars that probably would’ve beaten most rappers. But I don’t know if anyone is fucking with Myers these days as once again his (“I’ll pimp your bitch, but I don’t want her, nigga the whore is yours, I’m just trying to make her flip open the box like Storage Wars!”) haymakers have almost become perfunctory, his bar quotient exceptional, consistently dope (“I’ll blow off a nigga’s ear [points at Danja’s ears then mouth] and tongue over hearsay”) wordplay, flagrant schemes and his punchline (“And that bitch you with is a cum drinker, that ho be quick off the draws like a gunslinger!”) game just leaves you shaking your head begging for more. It’s always something special to see a battler put it all together and in 3-0’ing a hot and dope lyricist like Danja Zone, the dudes holding down that Top Tier room down may have to finally stand aside and let the Bar God in.
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Remember these young niggas can’t rap with me, ‘cuz I’m about to turn 36 Zone, that’s the key”
Recap: With arguably one of the weakest (“holes in his body…look like he had a fight with a moose”) punch’s (after a righteous set-up) you’ve ever heard in battle rap, you just knew that Just Juice was in for a long night. And that it was as B. Magic’s consistent flossing and sturdy punchlines make mince meat of Juice’s mostly pedestrian bars to the point that with the battle already decided after two rounds, Juice’s 3rd being cut short (hence the asterisk) because he brought up a couple of Magic’s (who was already as emotional as one has ever seen on stage throughout the battle, perhaps due to battling a local St. Louis rival) dead homies, didn’t really matter.
Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-0*
Favorite line: B. Magic – “I’ll point at you with the long cap like Uncle Sam!”
Recap: After getting obliterated by Glueazy’s rapidly hard (“I’m gang-banging, over them white lines, like you lane changing!”) punches in the opening round, Killa B uses his own assortment of steady gun lines and aggressive (“You got bars that stick, but nothing Super Glue!”) shiners to make things close in rounds 2 and 3. However, a more consistent with his flow, rebuttal-savvy and overall more punch crazy Glueazy still manages to edge each round here for the 3-0.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Glueazy – “You asked for this, see?, strapped with them guns I’m silly, Vivica Fox…it’s gonna hurt when I let go 50!”
Recap: In this fiery 3-rounder from Go-Rilla Warfare, SammyWild 100’s delivers the most memorable round, a well-angled and personal-lit 3rd that Young Kannon may’ve had to do some explaining for after the battle. But before that YK’s sublime schemes, persistent mayhem, piercing punchlines, fine wordplay and witty/mocking personals hit with enough consistent heat to take the earlier rounds for the win.
Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Young Kannon – “How y’all want it? I could walk up….44 the nigger, or take the knifeand turn his other cheek like I ignored the nigger!”
Recap: Prolific bully bars are the answer here as Swave Sevah looks past the old man/martial arts jokes and other noteworthy punches from a way-too-lengthy Metta and combined with the use of some ringing name flips, boastful darts and mocking personals, takes the latter two rounds of this 3-rounder from King Juce Battle League.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “Metta brave, but if Metta try to sever Swave, then Metta gonna need more than metaphors, he gonna need Medicaid!”
Recap: Lyrical stunting is the m.o. here as the slick, poetic flow of AKA meets up with the raspy, but shrewd punches of Jey The Nitewing for a dope For MCs By MCs 3-rounder that featured a shitload of hitting wordplay throughout from both battlers. A close encounter that saw the two split the first couple of rounds, it’s a more condensed, boastful and quality efficient Nitewing who takes the deciding 3rd round for the win.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “Check the score, what Good Will this do if trash is all you get in store?!”
Recap: Damn, never seen anyone react the way Ms. Miami did at being called friendly here. Oh well and good thing too as a no-holds-barred Casey Jay was able to brush the brazen theatrics of her opponent aside,never get off her game, spout a gang of flashy gun bars, stifling punchlines, boastful barbs and piercing name flips in both of the opening rounds (Jay’s 3rd was dope too, but a slightly more condensed and punch-heavier Miami edged that one) on her way to a win in this competitive 3-rounder from QOTR.
Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Casey Jay – “I’m the illest at this shit, that’s why they keep calling my jack, they wouldn’t keep flying me from Texas if these bitches could rap!”
Recap: A couple of ‘big boned’ guys from Jersey with similar styles of rap…it was only a matter of time before Ah Di Boom and Dre Dennis met up. And result was pretty close what with Boom and Dennis dishing an almost equal amount of fiery gun lines, piercing performance bars, fierce personals and boastful punchlines. But after a more condensed Dre takes round 1 before Boom even things up with a crisper round 2, less filler from Boom coupled with some mediocre personals from Dre allows Ah Di to take the deciding final round for the win.
Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “This a mean ratchet, it’s fairly odd ‘cuz it’s in [???] mode…[BOOM!!!], the nigger back got the Ricky hole!”
Recap: Neither Tink Tha Demon or Gamble do much to set the world on fire during this matchup from Cabin Fever 2. But after going toe-to-toe with a lot of righteous filler and aggressive bully bars, it’s Tink who after a slow start uses better punchlines and more fiery lines to sneak ahead in round 2 and easily hold on for the win in the 3rd.
Verdict: Tink Tha Demon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “I heard you was a smoker on the low, is it true?, ‘cuz shit I’ll make you spend a bill, then whistle for that white like Emmett Till!”
Recap: Despite the fact KRS-One told MC Shan (not Busy Bee) that the ‘Bridge Is Over’, thanks in part to a short 3rd round from (“I’m from Brooklyn, where nigga’s will beat your ass with a long branch…and yell ‘Brooklyn!'”) Brooklyn’s Sin City, Lotta Zay spits enough fierce (“My clout higher, but man it’s getting old, so when that .4 getcha, it ain’t Alzheimer’s”) punchlines and dope schemes in rounds 2 and 3 to edge this spirited battle from RBE.
Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “But if he come deep, I squeeze mac, he lean back…like he riding around with the side bitch in the front seat!”
Recap: Even the out-of-nowhere phone convo in the 3rd round doesn’t do much to help Swamp as besides a debatable 2nd round, opponent Robb Marley more condensed lines, lofty personals, witty jokes and ‘shit’-laced punches in the opening and closing rounds prove to be no match for Swamp’s less potent bars and often erratic showing.
Verdict: Robb Marley (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Robb Marley – “I thought you was gay in school, bitch your lip gloss was popping!”
Recap: Well, after watching this battle, at least we learned a few new things about Star Smilez: she has a Best Buy job to back up her battle rap career, wardrobe-wise she can definitely change it up and dress for the occasion and when she puts forth the effort, like she did during a Dot Mobb-lit and punch-heavy 3rd round, she can certainly rap with some of the best of her fellow Queens. Too bad for Star tho, this battle versus MyVerse was 3 rounds instead of one as Mrs. Smilez would get a handily beat in the previous rounds by the Sandra Bullock lookalike, who while not quite on her A-game and a bit elongated at times, still spouted enough boastful spinners, extra witty personals and heavy-handed punchlines to get the win.
Verdict: MyVerse (W) 2-1
Favorite line: MyVerse – “I don’t believe guts are going up to you and you’re rejecting them, against C3 you wore a skirt so we could decipher who’s the lesbian!”
Recap: First of all, RIP Young B the Future. That said, no contest in this one as for 3 rounds Geechi Gotti’s wickedly disrespectful barbs (all of which would certainly make Arsonal proud), stunted personals and gang of fiery punchlines easily dismantles the flow-challenged, sometimes witty, but mostly feeble raps of Jay Pan The Future.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “You a steady cornball, steady living a life you not living, straight phony, probably only good with the mic [Mike]…you Scott Pippen!”
Recap: Those who state that JC takes too many battles could point to this one as major proof here as against a barely known (outside of KOTD anyway), but versatile speed rapper in Psycoses, JC’s pen game had barely enough fire in it to beat what were mostly standard (“My best verse now is like Em’s first album, that Infinite”) bars wrapped around some nice (“Orange [aren’t] you glad I didn’t say banana?”) jokes and nifty punchlines. Indeed, except for his back to basics (“And the shit this bitch spitting is fictitious, that’s why nuthin’ believe in you, Unbelievable, BIG difference!”) round two, at times JC bars were just listless and tired. Yeah, thanks in part to some weak angles/nursery rhymes from his opponent and a better bar quotient in round 3, JC edged this one at the end. But this battle still goes to show you why even the best players need to sit out a minute or two out every now and again to get their wind back.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Metals in his mouth, embrace the glock”
Recap: His opponent being well-known for elongated rounds, I’m guessing that Shotgun Suge knew what he was doing when he allegedly requested 90 second rounds here against Ooops. And while Ooops came through with another enlightening (“You telling niggas that you riding around with like 8 burners, and then you tell everybody like you beat like 8 murders, we don’t condone that Suge, I mean that don’t make you a real nigga, that’s real filler, you ain’t beat 8 murders, they just found the real killers”) 3rd round, that wasn’t enough to make up for a couple of slip-ups, but moreso Shotgun Suge’s copacetic (“40. hit him with a combination like a gym lock!”) gun bars, gripping personals and animated shit-talking in the first 2 rounds. In other words, looks like Suge played his cards just right.
Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “What your life like nigga? Ferguson? Protesting? Marching, you the show setter, I’m from Newark nigga, the cops? Know better”
Recap: Versatility is the name of the game here as Born’s variety of winning personals, soaring (“Dumping off 9’s for practice out the van like soccer mom’s!”) punchlines, feelgood snaps and wicked wordplay overcomes Gjonaj’s aggressive (“I’ll snap his neck and have him looking over his shoulder like it ain’t happened yet”) dalliances and heated performance bars in both rounds 1 and 2 to take the win.
Verdict: Born (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Born – “The real Dizaster is him not using his own style!”
Recap: Clearly, from the direction a wide percentage of his bars was headed, this battle was a lot more personal for Peedy Westro than it was for Jakkboy Maine. Still, even with Peedy efficiently (and loudly) getting a lot off chest regarding Jakk’s alleged shenanigans outside the ring, Jakk’s more steady and intricate punches, lofty gun bars and fanatical wordplay wins the day in what was overall a pretty dope 1-rounder from Bars Bendas Rap Battle League.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “Look, a redneck in tobacco, you asking him, I’ll jaw crack him, a bulldog, K-9, Paris Hilton, I’m a dog catcher!”
Recap: B. Dot versus Stricc, the infamous race wars battle that made World Star and thanks in part to a classic and perfectly executed 3rd round from Dot, put everyone’s favorite Black activist/battle rapper on the map. A credit to LA Battle Groundz for putting on this battle, but for all the fame B. Dot got from this stellar performance, what easily gets lost in this matchup is just how dope Stricc was. The Texas battler with an almost perfect poker face, dishing 3 hot rounds of spicy (“Pay homage pimpin’, I’m droppin’ wisdom, if Lux taught him anything it should’ve been to bring that coffin with him!”) personals, pointed poor white man semantics, tailored rebuts on white supremacy and piercing punchlines that added up to a gang of haymakers throughout the match and kept things competitive. But with rich epilogues on Black history, systematic breakdowns on the benefits of white privilege, flexing (“Look Stricc, don’t bore me with the fuck shit, all that, “Oh you sound like Lux shit”, look the compliment is enormous, but it’s really not that important, they even told Kobe he play like Jordan but that ain’t stop him for scorin’!”) punchlines, mocking name flips and fiery schemes/punchlines that showcased both a scholarly and street degree for militant abolitionism, outside of a debatable 2nd round that was equal when it came to the ratio of haymakers, it’s B. Dot who takes the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win here.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “So what make you think you a part of this? Who gave you some “How to be black” starter kit?, I mean they whitewashed black history, it’s only right that I blackout and wash this white boy to re-author it!”
Recap: As expected, a barfest between Xcel and JC. It’s Xcel who edges first round with slightly better wordplay and (“You came up punching on bums, like the Knock Out game!”) personals than the name-flip heavy and always robust (“You throw punches, but the hands is missing, this is Man 1 to vandalism”) JC. Round two is another tight round, but JC edges this one with more consistency, rich (“I don’t dig up on niggas, even tho yours is everywhere!”) personals and fiery anecdotes in lieu of Xcel rapid punchlines that almost got usurped by the easy choice to once gain go after JC’s noted dance move video. Again, things stayed close in the 3rd round with both JC and Xcel dropping (JC: “I still got something in store for your dogs like Petco, but brought the kick back for sales [Cel] like Retro’s”; Xcel: “I’ll let it ring and hit everyone…like open marriage!”) some gems and nice schemes, but neither battler, after splitting the first couple of rounds, did that much to stand out or differentiate themselves….so call it even.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Xcel – “License to kill? Nigga you still get carded for spliffs”
Recap: Proving to have more gas left in his tank than his less potent opponent, Big Hann’s more formidable 3rd round, an unremitting and solid turn of aggressive bully bars, wit, street semantics and mean punchlines, is the difference maker in this fiery 3-rounder versus Bonus.
Verdict: Big Hann (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Hann – “You got bars, but no gift, that’s Christmas in prison!”
Recap: Maybe he’s just been inspired by all the new guys around him…DNA, Big T, etc., all the dope lyricists in the NWX. Maybe he’s just remembering to eat his Wheaties every morning…ahhh, the heck with it. Whatever the reason, this 2015 version of K-Shine, whether battling solo and in 2-on-2’s, is on a killing spree, commanding the stage and dropping haymakers on a whim, spouting too-rich (“I’ll let that bitch fly for cheap, that’s rainbows, he could conversate from a box, let’s Tango!”) performance bars at a drop of a dime and rapidly delivering fiery bar after bar with little room to breath. As a lukewarm J. Dose found out here…zip him up, no debating.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: K-Shine – “Stomach shot, head shot, niggas is moonwalking!”
Recap: Snapping with a boatload of earnest punchlines, unloading some fierce/witty personals, smooth and boastful with the barbs, dishing some dope ‘Showtimes’, and kind enough to offer up some rigid battle rap tutorials, a performance-lit Aye Verb takes advantage of a mostly mediocre Cortez for 3 rounds to handily get the hometown win in this battle brought to you from King Juce Battle League.
Recap: In a long-awaited matchup, Cortez deftly uses his ring experience, rich performance bars and sizzling (“The Blueprint, yeah I’m a Renegade, I’mma end {Em] J [Jay]”) wordplay to easily take out an overmatched and seemingly (till his 3rd round anyway) uninspired J. Murda.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “I’m respected in every hood and project on Murder Ave, and I be supplying who be supplying Murda’s Ave”
Recap: Overall, Marvwon had the better (“It’s crazy how being Lost is going to put you on the map with a Legend!”) lines. But a handful of surprising stumbles from the Detroit emcee along with Super Black’s ability to hold his own with a cohesive and versatile flow as well as a nice performance that was capped by his girl jumping in for a spitfire ‘Gun So Big’ bar, adds up to, in this base, a debatable.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Marvwon – “Nigga, you loyal to ya gang?, Nigga I’ll put you in a box reppin’ COTS forever!”
Recap: Landing (“You lucky bitch, this should have been on a different card, it’s like you moved up on the donor’s list, is how you was given Hart [heart]”) haymakers without conscious, dropping hard (“They said shit I could expose but why bother, you’ll turn Clips and scream you was raised by your mama, salute that, she taught you morals, how to stand up with honor, but all that ass, they say you got it from your father!”) personals that literally had her opponent get caught up in her emotions and spitting a higher (“School’s in, recess over, who’s next in line?, everybody gotta learn, it’s no child left behind!”) bar quotient throughout with a flourescent flow and agile delivery, E-Hart delivers the goods with enough fire in rounds 1 and 2 to take out a highly (“‘Cuz I came to bomb on you, in this letter I wrote, every page grenades, strapped with razor blades, to cut Hart like we playing spades”!) competitive, but not as consistent C3. Obviously still thinking she could take the match, a more aggressive C3 saved her strongest (“…’cuz I wanna know, how you make it so far E, when you never been charged up enough to go Back to Back?”) round for the 3rd, but despite some (“But keep up with me, because MC squared, that’s a two, but what happens when you give that emcee 3?, she getting cubed”; “If y’all thought she was gonna school me like Joe Clark, I guess everybody on E side [Eastside] high”) shiners and crazy wordplay here and there, a little too much filler, elongated set-ups, schemes that failed to land and Hart’s dazzling performance cost her early.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E-Hart – “I’m laughing at how these hoes be acting, I’m twice as real, if I ain’t got it, I’ll reach for your gun, like I like to steal, y’all like that ignorant shit, but I’m righteous still, the left keep the peace, but nigga I got a right to kill!”)
Recap: Less filler, more potent (“The kid strapped over all [overall], but I don’t see the menace in Dennis”) rhymes, sanguine angles/set-ups and a few (“”You a bitch, so stay in ya place like a ho should, I use the toast good and I’ll raise and let it go like ‘Welcome to Adulthood’!”) haymakers mixed in gets Spit Dat Heat’s Chef Trez the first two rounds and a win over the ever aggressive and (“The kick back done left my wrist damaged, so like I’m using tally marks, I can’t help but draw the fifth slanted!”) bar-heavy, but this time around less consistent Dre Dennis.
Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Chef Trez -“This left [holds up left fist]? Chinese porn, it get nasty with the chin!”
