Recap: What better way for two battle rap heads to settle residual beef than to actually battle each other? And as proven here, that could be a pretty good thing for the audience too as E. Farrell and (“We keep rounds in the cases like record shops!”) Bangz keep the crowd entertained with plenty of witty bars, rich performance lines, ill personals and some nice wordplay throughout this 3-round match. However, after edging the first round with some more eccentric (“I’m gonna leave ya shit pushed back, cuz I got nothing better to do…procrastinating!”) punches, then taking a step back with a somewhat flat second, it’s Farrell who survives this one on top with an altogether hilarious, mocking, gimmick-induced 3rd that even his opponent could appreciate, much less comicly participate in.
Verdict: E. Farrell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E. Farrell – “Fuck the quotes you done wrote about the cola, diet coke and menthos the only way your pack will blow up with the soda!”
Recap: Hard-hitting 1-rounder from Pride Life Battle League between 40 B.A.R.R.S. and 3SK finds the latter especially getting aggressive and busy with a gang of flashy gun bars and sizzling personals. But a slightly more consistent and versatile 40, robust while scoring with the wordplay, similes, racial banter, personals, punches and name flips, edges this one for the win.
Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 1-0
Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “It’s like we joined the Mile High club, with me you getting fucked up!”
Recap: Having long carved a niche as an antic-prone performance artist as much as he is a battle rapper, Daylyt is that lone top tier rhyme-slinger where a win-loss record really doesn’t matter. Indeed, as long as you get your money’s worth, at this point who cares about which Daylyt shows up, much less if he wins or losses? The guy pretty much does what he wants, the fans love him and if you’re a league owner who cares about his bottom line, you’d be hard-pressed not to book him on your platform. So whether it’s the rapper’s rapper who, ski-mask or no ski-mask, can go toe-to-toe with the likes of Pass or Mike P. or the dude who takes a dump on stage or the dude who just ups and quits (vs. Rone) on a battle or the dude who brings out Loaded Lux impressionists for a laugh and does a fantastic Morpheus slow-motion impression (as he does here against B Magic, who with consistently spicy punchlines in both of the opening rounds, took the win) that coupled with his crew’s performance and some witty/esoteric punches, makes for a classic, jaw-dropping 3rd round while verifying that Quill is never not entertaining.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B Magic – “From the Louiee, I’m Gucci, watch how I design a flow!”
Recap: Some hard (“Lame fuck, I should chhhkkk, aim bust!, ‘cuz all I got is these….[points hands like gun at Ryda’s head] and you don’t want me to bring my grades up!”) gun bars spit by Truth Watson keeps things competitive, but overall it’s Ryda’s potent versatility, nice (“…when your tombstone reads ‘where the Truth lies’, it’s not a contradiction!”) name flips and aggressive (“Pinocchio lying in martial arts class, I got something with the long nose kicking!”) punchlines that scores him a 3-0.
Verdict: Ryda (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Ryda – “I’ll put that on Grove Street, only time you can kill Ryda [a rider] is in a Graft Theft Auto mission!”
Recap: Crazy Proving Grounds matchup between Houston’s Scotty and Jersey’s Dre Dennis with too many dope bars to list here. Close throughout, this battle comes down to slightly less filler and more hitting (“This the nigga that said, ‘who got the best lines, Dre’, that’s a Victoria Secret’, no, you’re lin-ge-rie [lying Dre] that’s some extraordinary reaching!”; “What you rock a x x x x x xl?, some big shit we ain’t never seen, well I’mma give your Big T the best Hollow rounds we’ve ever seen!”) personals from Scotty. Along with rich storytelling lines and more condensed/fire (“I’m trying to kill me a nigga, I’m thinking like one of these cops today”) bars in rounds 1 and 3, despite Dennis’ litany of festive performance (“Everybody claim they got guns, but me?, I really bang mine…[extends arm] BOW!!!, the impact will knock the beans offa ya man’s hang time!”) bars, a stupendous 2nd round, nice wordplay, pouty name flips and jaunty (“…you can’t top Official, so you gonna brawl with Double D?!”) punchlines throughout, a little more consistency on the side of the kid from H-Town gets him the win.
Verdict: Scotty (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “Growing up, we had to choose one of three choices just to pass and go forward, it was either squeeze gats or move PCP or weed packs taking orders, it was like the beginning of Pokemon when we was back on the corner, cuz we ain’t know to pick the flame, grass or the water!”
Recap: Dope Halloween-themed 1-rounder hosted by Dizaster and Tony Montana featuring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (aka Bill Collector) vs. Bruce Lee (aka A Class) gets edged (despite a fiery and punch-lit showing by A Class) by Bill via a gang of hilarious Asian jokes, some fire punchlines and a spirited performance that’d even make Kareem offer a high-five.
Verdict: Bill Collector (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bill Collector – “You hate football ‘cuz you spent 7 hours making it!”
Recap: Against a mostly lackluster Uno Lavos, who even when it came to jokes wasn’t much on his A-game, Marvwon delivers his own brand of salacious wit along with a load of stinging personals to score a 30 on Don’t Flop.
Verdict: Marvwon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Marvwon – “You created this alter image so the murderers wouldn’t kill you, but it hurts your heart when you found out they like the fake you more than the real you!”
Recap: Yes, you can be elongated with your rounds and still keep it spicy as QP shows us here versus Bonnie Godiva for what turned out to be a shrewd punch-fest between the two battlers on the Black Ice Cartel stage. A condensed Bonnie kept it gully, wordplay-lit and personal-savvy all the way through while spouting steadily hitting punches with nary a dry spot. Indeed, Ms. Godiva was even able to come up with some ill retorts at what she thought her old Innuendo team member might throw at her during a bout that stayed close with one battler rapping twice as long as the other. However, for all of Bonnie’s adept rhyme-slinging, a QP on his A-game (as well as a vet who takes a lot of credit for Bonnie’s pen) would be a little too much in the end, the never-lacking-for-confidence emcee/reality TV star delivering back-to-back-to-back with plenty of grit and constant flair when he wasn’t dishing a boatload of exemplary wordplay, fire name flips, hard-hitting personals and witty barbs that had the crowd lit. A battle drenched in haymakers from both sides, the slightly more sublime QP edges rounds 1 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: QP )W) 2-1
Favorite line: QP – “When you what I say with a little twist, bitch, that’s a remix!”
Recap: After pretty much taking round 1 off, Younga Baby steadily (“Talking that gangsta shit ’round here?, that’s suicide, gateway drug, you want smoke?, this shit will take you to newer high!”) improves with his punches as this TrapNY battle proceeds against Fettuccine20. Still, with the East Harlem spitter persistent rhyme (“You the head nigga in charge?, well these bullets playing follow the leader, if he don’t die, he’ll be fighting for his life longer than Bobbi Kristina!”; “…after I pop his bottle I’ll leave Moet [more wet] cuz I don’t like Cristal’s so I’m popping his ace!”) pedigree, righteous name flips and hitting personals consistently landing with ease, on this day anyway, UConn just didn’t have enough to beat New York.
Verdict: Fettuccine20 (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fettuccine20 – “You ain’t shit, you just an appetizer to a bigger plate, the gun big, after the kick my man gotta catch me…Kid-n-Play!”
Recap: D.O.T. and Houston’s Scotty hash it out on The TrapNY stage and leave with a split. Round one sees Scotty get off to a robust start with speakeasy (“Don’t point between numbers, ya name D.O.T. not decimal!”) reprimands and rich (“You got it before it came out, damn I’m leaking this pistol!”) gun speils that made their point. Howeverm they’re they’re matched by D.O.T.’s aggressive wordplay, lofty (“I’m trying to catch a Goofy-ass slipping, like Disney On Ice!”) punchlines and urban street theatrics. Second round is an easy dub for Scotty as his punches and schemes continue to hit and land with more than enough (“They don’t know what to do with Scott, well I’m a talk this game till I die, I’m Stuart Scott!”) heat to take out what was a pretty inconsistent turn from his opponent. But thanks in part to a lethargic round from Scotty, D.O.T. gets back to basics and takes the round with steadier wordplay and relentless (“They gonna be moaning by your coffin, y’all know I hate deadbeats, [well] tell ya mama I was trying to box somethin’!”) shiners that left a huge mark and gave him a draw.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “Neck shot, they ain’t gonna do shit but watch you bleed out, what’s that tough act ’bout, .38 snub nose, plus it’s one in the snout, all them niggas know all that acting will make a nigga like me, act out!”
Recap: Long-awaited, pretty good and at times comedic battle between Jimz and Cortez on the RBE stage. Cortez wins round one easy, as better overall bars, fresh schemes and sizzling (“I’ve been feening the crackheads, when I smoke this pipe for that static on screen, now that’s Poltergeist!”) wordplay more than outshines Jimz assortment of mostly basic raps. However, just when you might’ve thought that you were in for a let down considering all the effort Jimz put into wanting this match, the kid from Queens steps it up and comes back with a much more prolific round two. More aggressive, affable with the set-ups and ramping up the (“Sidebar, what the fuck is up under that hat?!….I bet a stack you look like Krillin from Dragon Ball Z”) personals, Jimz not only outshines a shortened round by Cortez, but hilariously saves him with a nicely timed ‘Pause!’ near the beginning of his round. Tied going into the second, neither battler really stood out in round three. With an aggressive Cortez mostly (“I’m cemented in the streets and I gave you the green light, bitch, I paved your way!”) pontificating on how much he’s done for Latino battle rappers and Jimz unforgivably admitting to watching “Friends” while spouting an elongated round of hits and misses, it’s safe to call this one down the middle.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Jimz – “I remember in Lionz Den, you got robbed for that battle with Ice, but then you got robbed for your ice in a battle with life”
Recap: Long accused of being a Dizaster clone, Gjonaj finally gets to battle the man himself in this 3-rounder from KOTD. 1st round is close with Gjonaj airing fiery (“You’ll never get it together, stop trying, stick to being Lebanon-violent”) punchlines along with nice schemes in his noted rambunctious style. But a more amped-up than usual Dizaster comes right back with steady (“Time for you to face your master, your name is gjnalaggg[unintelligible]”) jokes, animated personals and repeated bully (“This Christian could die, I’ll put your wings in the sky like a Batman signal!”) bars to edge the round. After admitting to stealing a Diz bar in an earlier battle, the second round sees Gjonaj surprisingly choke, giving Dizaster an easy lane to steamroll him with a wicked impression of his opponent and more funny (“It’s Yassar Arafat in a New Era hat!”) wisecracks on Gjonaj’s style and persona. Credit Gjonaj for getting his mojo back in the 3rd round (arguably the best round overall of the battle) with the Detroit rapper delivering some winning (“We should’ve battled on the rooftop, cuz’ you ain’t had a decent punch since Billy Boondox!”) personals and feelgood punches, while Dizaster continued to score points with stinging performance (“You cats act like me till you have a crap like me, then your personality is revealed, one [lifts fist up] Sandy hook on the stage will prove this Dizaster isn’t real!”) bars and seismic wordplay to steal the round and score a 3-0.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “I am jealous of you, ‘cuz I could never get a cab driver like you, shit your cab drivers drive you to the battle then walk inside the venue and stand beside you”
Recap: 2-rounder from ColoradoRap sees Dizaster use a gang of off-the-dome heat, witty personals and corrosive punchlines to easily beat back Detour’s rapid, but mostly pedestrian punchlines, sheer mayhem and a 2nd round that has to be one of the longest in battle rap history.
Verdict: Dizaster (W) 2-0
Favorite line: Dizaster – “Every move that you maneuver with, you look like a fucking computer glitch!”
Recap: A gang of piercing punchlines, some rigid name flips, a slew of witty barbs and a boatload of fierce schemes/personals allows Real Sikh to overcome the comedic and oft-disrespectful stylings of AHAT’s Stampede and score a 30 in this mostly one-sided battle from UDubb.
Verdict: Reak Sikh (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Real Sikh – “I’ll shoot ya bitch in the hip, have her walking like she can’t dance, this ratchet will leave a mark on her lower back of her tramp stamp!”
Recap: Despite landing some nice performance (“Y’all all with him?, listen you niggas can fold with him, a fort missing, what’s in [makes like pulling out a gun] these jeans gonna make [I’m] awarding him”) bars here and there, besides needing to work on his delivery a mostly average Prob is no match for Rosenberg Raw’s delightful mix of delicious (“I sold white girl, I’m talking Becky and Emily, I’ll shoot you right in front of the world, now that’s a Kennedy!”) non-sequiturs and gritty (“But if we pass words, it’s past words, squash and why try, the barrel longer than a wifi password”) gun bars.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “Always been a shooter, I ain’t never had no Hoop Dreams”
Recap: In this one-rounder from Spittaz League, D.O.T. does him: standard reaches that eventually hit their mark, sanguine performance bars and urban street (“If Nem is short for nemesis, then that means down for destruction, demise, I just gave y’all one, y’all with me?, I ain’t talking, I’m rapping, you named yourself after a disaster before it could happen!”) flair that his fellow Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn natives would be proud of. And what with his opponent Lord Nem mostly drab bars failing to offer much outside of unintended comic (“Knock the wig off this crackhead Coolio!”) relief, it’s an easy win for Determination Over Trust.
Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 1-0
Favorite line: D.O.T. – “Try to run and I’ll put two in your calves [Cavs] like Kyrie!”
Recap: Overall an underwhelming battle between Tsu Surf and Calicoe. But more surprisingly Surf, who upon making his first appearance on the hometown UDubb stage disappoints with all-too-short rounds, a handful of reaches and way too many complaints about crowd noise. A sometimes ordinary Calicoe, but still forever comfortable on the Jersey stage, stayed aggressive throughout his three rounds and won rounds one and three with a plethora of rich performance bars and more potent (“Everybody want to be B.I.G. till they in that blue bourbon!”) personals than his opponent. On the other hand while Surf hit here (“…and you the sucka nigga that clearly threw Meech under the bus!”) and there with some dope (“You battled Suge and said you had a show with Rick Ross…When?…Where? Did he know you was there?”) personals, too much elongated set-ups and righteous filler in the end hurt him. Yet Cal, who finessed his rhymes with mostly personals, really laid into Surf with “Why this my fourth battle in Jersey and the first time they seeing you?” Easy money, indeed.
Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Calicoe – “He the first nigga on Instagram on some ol’ lavish shit and get smacked with the burner for not having shit!”
Recap: In this West-coast PG battle, Skates and Krucial Ken chop it up with the usual assortment of electric gun bars, stinging personals, fierce punchlines and righteous bully bars with a nicer and more condensed Ken taking the 1st before a fiery, set-up rich Skates ties it up in the 2nd with the most hard-hitting round of the match. 3rd and deciding round is close, but a slightly more consistent and versatile Skates edges it to take the win.
Verdict: Skates (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Skates – “Well, I know you nigga’s wondering what’s next, well a-ight cool, I’ll take his bitch up on the roof because I’m a sheist dude, while she hanging off the ledge, step on her hands with my Nike shoes…then watch her let herself go like a bad bitch after high school!”
Recap: For 3 consistent rounds Cortez reps hard for his hood with a wide load of BK bangers, dishes out some nice storytelling bars, styles with the (“Fingerprints? Not a trace, cuz’ if I fuck with the gloves, I’m in Philly, two twins giving Brotherly Love!”) wordplay and kills with the personals against Cyssero, a signed North Philly rapper and battle rap vet, who despite some nice punches here and there, chokes twice and learns the hard way that if you’re an artist returning to battle rap, you may want to ease your way back in slowly against some lower tiers dudes rather than hop on the big stage right away and face a top tier like Cortez.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Cortez – “So stop acting like you some real big G, please ock, you get sent to the store for dutches, you come back…and then get sent to the weed spot!”
Recap: Granted, every now and again you’ll see members of battle rap crews battle against each other. But real-life homies and clique members? Now that’s a rare sight. Yet, that’s what you get here as West-coast Grape St. crew spitters Aktive and Dre Vishiss go at it in this 1-rounder from AHAT. And while, as expected, there was very little on the personal side from each battler, a steady assortment of nice name flips (esp. from Dre), fierce gun/bully bars, gritty punchlines and utter mayhem was dished out from dudes. A solid battle all around, a more consistent with the punches and condensed Vishiss gets the edge here.
Verdict: Dre Vishiss (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dre Vishiss -“Since you a giant, you’ll get your bean stalked, I’ll squeeze and capture the moment…it’s like s screenshot!”
Recap: Spirited matchup between Caustic and Big T sees the Cali rapper kill with the fat (“Look at him up here, acting like he a calm dude, you put some hot sauce on his grits, the shit will change his whole mood”; “One time this motherfucker did a somersault…shit took all summer!”) jokes, but fail to show much of anything else–an admitted bar deficiency that literally making him lean on what he does best: humor. In the meantime, Big T slowed down on the gun sounds and went instead with a steady mix of rich personals, potent (“This blade will scar bro [Scarborough] like a hood in Toronto”) wordplay and brash storytelling (“Nigga I’ll pull up to your door like it had a lift on it, and get to shooting at the door like somebody hung a plastic rim on it”) bars, all backed by a steely flow that stayed forthright enough to pull off the win.
Verdict: Big T (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big T – “Chest shot, expose his heart, he ain’t got nothing but love for me”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from Wilmington Battle Syndicate, an impressive performance by Geno whose consistently hard-hitting punchlines, righteous gun lines and gritty stylings connect for enough haymakers to beat back a solid, but overall not as blazing effort from Bill Collector.
Verdict: Geno (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Geno – “Powerful speaker, but soft-spoken, be careful how you walk up on us, we all holding, these nigga’s act like Brock Lesnar or Hulk Hogan?, but will damn near die for some pussy…Lamar Odom!”
Recap: In this highly contested and pretty tense 3-rounder, Arsonal somehow survives a trio of slip-ups (one in round 1 and a couple in round 2), a heated, but also hilarious back-n-forth with the RBE league owner ARP in the middle round and an aggressive and wordplay-friendly opponent in Showoff who clearly came to win. But while Showoff’s raucous street rhymes and often rapid-fire delivery raps scored here and there, overall his bar profiency was severely lacking, which in turn would benefit Arsonal. And while da Rebel struggled at times with his flow and had quite a bit of subpar bars himself, a spirited and multi-facated bag of disrespectful shiners, shrewd wordplay, righteous darts/punchlines and hard-hitting/witty personals would get him enough points/haymakers to edge rounds 1 and 3 for the win.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “Middle of the winter I’m on your porch with my coat off, ‘Knock Knock’ your mother open the door, I open-handed the bitch with a snowball!”
Recap: Under the radar intergender matchup between Shotgun Suge and West-coast spitter MBD fails to excite as after a solid (“I smack bitches…just to shoot they baby father’s!”) round 1, Suge’s heart just didn’t seem that into it. No fault to MBD who despite dishing mostly basic bars, stayed consistent with her flow, got in a ‘pocket check’ on her opponent, landed a couple of (“You in my backyard muthafucka, I could kill ya, shotgun staring at Suge like he looking in the mirror!”) haymakers and thanks in part to a 3rd round choke by Suge, did enough to earn the win.
Verdict: MBD (W) 2-1
Favorite line: MBD – “Those hollow tips may sting a little, make a big nigga fall, Suge be like ‘I got a gun so big’, the main nigga with a dick so small!”
Recap: 6 years after they battled in an epic freestyle battle on the streets, a couple of Grind Time vets, Real Deal and DNA, finally do it for real on Black Ice Cartel. DNA easily takes the first round with more potent bars and wicked wordplay versus Real Deal who stayed aggressive with his punchline game, but was inconsistent with his verbiage. A much closer second round still had DNA coming out on top, dropping a harder slice of performance (“So make sure you come correct if you offer a deal, bars, or you’ll see two arms swinging air, that’s a windmill, [or] you can get the .4 piece with the toy, that’s a kid’s meal!”) personals and name flips to edge Real Deal comeuppance of fierce (“Even haters quote me with flame emoji’s”) punches and stinging (“This gonna be the worst day for Eric since Dre Day dropped”) metaphors. Last round saw DNA get personal with some resident Dot Mobb jokes/lines, which weren’t really effective enough to take on Real Deal’s dope storytelling (You should know if it’s WCW, I’m knocking Eric Bischoff [bitch off]”) bars and steady wisecracks.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “I’m awesome with skills, go both ways, this .40 for real, torture his grill, Michael Carter Williams, I’m on point in the Mil!”
Recap: In what one can guess was an attempt to make battle rap more mainstream, Poison Pen brings John John da Don and Shotgun Suge all the way to the West coast for a 3-round battle in front of a laidback crowd that didn’t seem well-versed in the genre. Still, JJDD and Suge put on good showing with plenty of witty personals, funny barbs, spirited schemes and resident gun lines that seemed to keep the audience’s attention throughout. Still, after splitting the first couple of rounds, it’s JJDD who proves to have more stamina, with a non-exciting, but much more clean and versatile round than his opponent.
Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1
Favorite line: John John da Don – “You let Surf go to Detroit with a pistol, he could’ve got anyone clapped, so how you getting Dough boy in anyone’s trap, when Boyz in the Hood the last time we seen Shot gun have anyone’s back!”
Recap: A gutsy performing O’fficial parlays a gang of rigid name flips, graphic mayhem and piercing punchlines into a NOBL 1-round win over a gun bar-lit, but not as consistently spicy and angle-impaired C Moneii.
Verdict: O’fficial (W) 1-0
Favorite line: O’fficial – “You said you beat Saga, stop lying [Lion] King, he read your ass like Rafiki!”
Recap: Kicked off by one of the best first rounds you’ll ever see in battle rap, KG The Poet and B-Magic put on a barfest for the Smack/URL West coast crowd. Except for possibly rhyming too long, KG’s opening round was pure fire with fierce (“Yeah your bars is top tier, but your actual punches? them shits in the actual proving ground”) personals, damning name flips and righteous gun (“That chop…got a kick…strong as une botte, the goons out to stomp you out, you’ll see nuthin’ but Jordan’s Chuck Taylor’s and tube socks, that’s different kicks!””) bars being spat at a blinding clip. Indeed, it’d take an epic round to top KG’s first and Magic delivers with stupendous (“Me and Ooops don’t shoot clowns, we ain’t equal till kg see 2.2 pounds”) haymakers, intoxicating wordplay and of course, a steady stream of crazy (“Scope biggest bitch from the roof, I’m Higher Learning ya!”) punchlines that would leave most opponents dazed and confused. With nowhere to go but down on the intensity and competitive tenacity in round 2, both battlers still brought the heat. KG continued to make waves with an intense flow backed by robust (“Before you get cooked, get wet with the bread like French toast!”) bars, while B Magic put forth a more cursory round that still had (“This not a battle, I’m rapping strong for it, this more like spoken word because I’m snapping on Poet”) a solid impact. Tho he still managed to drop some gems (“Even tho I had to profit from it, I still hate the brown more than Donald Trump!”) here and there, a little too much pontificating and less flavorful bars hurt KG in the last round, more than enough for Magic to get the dub with more profound bars and some spine-tingling (“I will spike ya moms drink, making the Bill Cosby face, then proceed to choke ya Bird like Doctor J!”) wordplay.
Verdict: B-Magic (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B-Magic – “You’ll get drugged in the back like Walgreens!”
Recap: Taking on all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle jokes he’s heard over the years head-on, Danny Myers takes on the part and dresses up as Raphael and with some rich metaphors, vivid punchlines/name flips and plenty of thrifty Turtle speak, in each of the 3 rounds here, easily beats back a solid, but not as potent effort from Copywrite (aka evil Turtle nemesis Shredder in this case).
Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Danny Myers – “Bitch, if you kill April you’ll be beat to death with a nightstick, I ain’t Tyrese, but 4 Brothers will avenge the death of a white bitch!”
Recap: In this one-round rematch from John John da Don’s new BullPen Battle League, JJDD does a nice job displaying his (“These problems is like a diet, that’s something you don’t want Clips”) wit as well as calling out some of Charlie Clips past nonsensical lines. But other than that, too many average bars and long-winded set-ups don’t stand a chance against Clips way more versatile stream of performance bars, witty jokes, delightful schemes and proverbial (“I didn’t come here to battle John John, I came to start a relationship with John’s mom, when she dressed we argue, but when she in her underclothes we get a long [along] john”) wordplay.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Your bitch ass is the type to pull out a gun and then get robbed”
Recap: With each battler dropping crazy punchlines and (Mike P: “Respect ya jaw, or I’m throwing Haixian off a wide cliff, side bitch…set it up, ironic I’m telling Haixian [Haitian] where my boulet Verdict: Mike P (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mike P – “What amounts to fame, ‘cuz some of you gas fuckers hype, Y’all miss that Super Smash Brothers life…where being at 110% can actually get you kicked out the game!”
Recap: Lots of quick (“You stay strapped, but never would kill….Yosemite Sam!”) punches and comedy (“This hairline I wouldn’t carry, you probably wear a hood to shower, you look worried”) stylings from C Dollarz kept him in this match. But Nu Jerzey Twork’s rich (“….I don’t fail missions [bends down], I get down low with the shit, like a jail picture!”) storytelling bars, wild schemes and steady mix of steely (“Shots go straight at this leg, his groin break up….boy, I’ll treat a DC nigga like Shawn Taylor!”) gun bars gets him the latter two rounds and the win.
Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I got 5 .45’s like a quarter to 6!”
Recap: Big T and Shotgun Suge do what a couple of vets should be able to do every time they battle: put on a consistent and highly entertaining show. And while the always performance-heavy T did falter a bit in the 3rd round, running out of steam with the punchlines and thus allowing Shotgun to come back for a draw with an electric, brazen, punch-heavy and steadily raucous turn. T’s ability to finesse real-life drama with whimsical rhymes, get savvy with the breakdown’s on his opponent’s style, deliver a gang of {“We all scheme…then I ride through New York, bang bang bang bang!, ’bout to blow New Jersey up!”) fiery punchlines/personals/name flips and even pull off doing a witty version the Cha-Cha just in case you underestimated him, allowed the Chicago battler to edge 2nd round after a spitfire (tho a bit lengthy) turn in the 1st that was equaled by roundhouse, mayhem-lit and condensed run by Suge.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Before you act hard, you better strap hard cause I attack hard, I’m like Kimbo Slice in the backyard!”
Recap: Exponentially dishing on a 101 different ways he can use his gun, Franchise unleashes more than enough heat, trap talk and stirring punchlines to take all 3 rounds and easily beat back an inconsistent Joey Gambello.
Verdict: Franchise (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Franchise – “Extended clip, so long, it’s like a membership!”
Recap: Despite going a little too long with his raps in each round, here against 65 Hunnit, Geechi Gotti displays a wide range of talent, going from downright (“I’ll kill you, then read your obituary to ya kid as a bedtime story!”) disrespectful to witty to eccentric to kicking that real street shit the cats in the jungle living that strife life love. Indeed, it’s all there and against the aggressive, but basic raps of his opponent, even with a slight stumble towards the end of his 3rd, there really was no contest.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti -“Real shit, he got hit with so many straps, we don’t know which one killed him when we was gunning on him…think tax season, all these ratchets got 65 hundred on ’em!”
Recap: For two rounds anyway, this was a pretty hype battle between Cityy Towers and DNA, what with both battlers delivering on raucous punchlines, stinging personals, nice schemes, a little sermonizing and boastful, braggadocio barbs (and in DNA’s case, freestyles) to split the first two rounds. Then the 3rd round came around and surprisingly less than a minute in, Cityy seemingly forgot his bars. Granted, the Connecticut spitter would nimbly freestyle his way through to avoid a choke and complete the round. But against a vet like DNA it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that Cityy’s awkward turn would cost him the battle and it did as his opponent would use a standard artillery of nifty punches and festive wordplay to gain the vic.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Try to run, the can will take half off…that’s Six Flags!”
Recap: Chilla Jones has what basically amounts to an off night, using way too many name flips, elongated schemes, lackluster bars and convoluted set-ups along the way and thus allowing seasoned veteran Pass to come from behind with enough nifty punchlines, fleeting (“See, I know why hoes won’t sleep with dude, soon as you take off your hat you look like black Beetlejuice!”) personals and aggressive bars/wordplay and score a win on KOTD.
Verdict: Pass (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pass -“You get X’d from American History when they make this nigga bite the block”
Recap: Outside of some witty punches directed at him that seemed tertiary for an opponent consumed with a raucous, but subpar and straightforward/personal style that failed to put any points on the scoreboard, Yung Griz’s sometimes racially-tinged, but altogether piercing punchline game over the course of 3 rounds easily beats back R.A.W. in this matchup from iEvolveTV.
Verdict: Yung Griz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Yung Griz – “My stock go [hand gesture’s upwards], you gonna be stuck at this point, you’ll get left for the bigger numbers…you a decimal point!”
Recap: When a couple of wily vets get in the ring like Brixx Belvedere and Cortez one can usually expect to get to good match and this one certainly lived up to the draw. First, Cortez takes advantage of a somewhat stunted round by Brixx, using some exquisite (“You don’t want that smoke, you on papers, learn your lesson, or that .9 gonna draw like 4th graders!”) wordplay and congenial name flips get off to a fast start and take the opening round. Brixx came back hard in round two tho with some ill (“It’s like you versus T-Rex, only Smack give you time for them dinosaur bars!” personals and dope set-ups. But Cortez more than held his (“Dig this, I split bricks, this is Dojo class”) own in round two as well, going heavy on the punchlines and performance bars to edge it. Last round was Brixx’s best, a fiery (“They mentioned DOT ‘cuz he reach, we reqach, they done stuck you with the monster like Eazy-E!”) barfest that literally had the crowd going ham. And while Cortez came nice with his–an able mix of pointed (“Surf washed away bricks [Brixx] worse than Hurricane Sandy!”) personals and storytelling bars throughout, it wasn’t enough to get the 3-0. But overall, still a win for the kid from Brooklyn nonetheless.
Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “I got the .44, it’s four 4’s, I photo flash then keep dumping the can like the photo’s trash!”
Recap: A strong performance by (“The crowd going to feel homeless, go to sleep on Ave!”) Nunn Nunn gets beat by a superb performance by Ave in this dope PG battle from URL/Smack. Ave easily takes the first round with crazy (“Put the .45 to this square, speed limit sign!”; “You ass and can’t hide it, you like C3 shirts!”) ) nice punchlines combined with fierce name flips and menacing wordplay. Nunn Nunn almost steals the 2nd round, bringing out his steely-eyed girlfriend at the start to team up for some vicious (“Make him think he gonna hit. look at your dumb ass, you caught an erection!”) personals in an epic 2-on-1, while finishing off with some fierce performance bars and dope (“You so pussy, I’ll smack him with a lollipop, I mean literally sucker punch you!”) one-liners that were only hurt by his rhyming a little too long. But Ave, staying true to ‘not needing no help’ takes the round with a steady stream of wicked (“I’ll drop a pack of crackers, Ave a vending machine!”) punches and ridiculous (“Y’all thought he could rock with me? well I’ll make ’em believers, just never compare a fat God to Slim Jesus!”) haymakers. Last round was close, but with Nunn Nunn spouting that real (“The heroin belt be the same one parents beat their son’s and daughter’s with!”) trailer park shit along with fire punchlines, all the while impressively saving himself from a slip-up with a rolling freestyle, he managed to edge the last round by flexing more versatility, even in light of Ave’s continued propensity for dishing scathing heaters.
Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ave – “Catch him getting in his ride, let off that black heater, you’ll only see a body on the rim, like a Shaq sneaker!”
Recap: JC versus Big Kannon on RBE is no doubt entertaining throughout, but also a bit weird (Big Kannon free-styling an entire 2nd round after being so competitive with his written’s in the 1st) at times, over-friendly (two Writer’s Bloque dudes battling each other, we get the respect for each other’s lyrics, but still enough with the compliments) and over-the-top (yeah, that was BK mimicking JC’s infamous pop-lock video onstage in the 3rd). Thus, it’s probably a good thing that JC took this battle more seriously than his opponent, who essentially only (BK: “Now dude stop, give me one reason why you the king of this, you only kill when you battling bums, that’s when you seem to spit, so now he the Ice Cube of the group, and my meaning is ‘cuz you get no credit for writing all that easy [Eazy] shit!”) showed up for two rounds. That’s proven by a consistently superb pen game by the Michigan rapper that reached its peak in a spitfire 3rd round that exemplified JC’s stinging ability to (“Kannon, you know what’s up, get him stabbed while the camera rolling…bonus cuts!”) punch, name flip and dish potent heat on top of some incredible wordplay with the best of them.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “It’s all will, I’ll approach him, all steel, tell him wish his family well, then have him staring down that .357 like when he stands on a scale!”
Recap: Nice, witty and competitive battle (and apparent rematch) between Lil Joe and Terry F, loaded with nifty punchlines on both sides, comes down to too many reaches and predictable set-ups by Terry F, allowing Joe to take round 1 and the deciding 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Joe (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Joe – “Run your mouth, that red beam on his upper lip, I’ll creep behind him while he writing battle bars and buck a fifth, you’ll see your dreams all over the paper…that’s a bucket list!”
Recap: After taking some understandable time off from battle rap, Swave Sevah makes a triumphant return against another ‘new nigga’ in KH. An easy victory that was pretty much decided after round one, Swave’s bully (“Don’t get it twisted, we could rap, but let it be known I ain’t the on eto be clowning with, so basically your body language’s gonna determine what kind of rounds we spit”) bars, pointed schemes and Team Homi manifesto’s are way too much for what amounted to mostly comical and basic (“I ain’t eating rappers up no more, I’m inhaling them”) material from KH.
Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swave Sevah -“If Biggie was right about you being nobody till somebody kill you, then my nigga…you about to have a name now!”
Recap: Reepah Rell stayed competitive here, displaying some (“Fuck how you feel, hold still, me and my nigga’s in front of his crib holding cans like Hank..that’s King of the Hill!”) solid punches and crazy (“Early morning, you better break fast, I Pop Tarts, nothing to toast a square!”) wordplay throughout this turn in this one-rounder against J. Murda. But whether it’s accidentally shooting his own mother, spouting a fiery (“You nice with the bat, Ken Griffey?, well you’ll get .24 [twenty-four] with a kick!”) rebuttal or just dishing gritty (“I pass the hammer in the hood…the .4 [four] get around!”) performance bars that you could feel through the screen, it’s Murda who edges this one in the end.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 1-0
Favorite line: “I’m too much of an animal, I know a [Noah] nigga bolt when I storm through, why get Adam even [Eve] this bitch won’t take a bite out the wrong fruit!”
Recap: Breaking down his notorious opponent’s ubiquitous battle rap career with brazen screeds, spitting a gang of fierce punchlines, supplying us with one the best Daylyt impressions you’ll ever see, scoring with a host of solid name flips all the while mixing in some pro-Black shiners with rugged intent, B. Dot pretty much does it all in this 3-rounder. And in doing so, beats back a condensed (which contributed to a debatable 1st round) Daylyt, who while leaving aside the antics and dishing some sharp punches here and there, in the end just didn’t have the lyrical efficiency (or will) to take on Dot’s rapid take down.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: B. Dot – “Fuck all the dumb shit, I came with the substance, everything I spit is insightful!”
Recap: Take out a 2nd round choke and this West-coast PG between Emerson Kennedy and Cali Smoov is straight fire with loads of hot punches, righteous wordplay, fierce personals and stirring mayhem. Round one was close as both (“Nigga’s aiming at light-skin’s, call it shooting the fair one!”) EK and Cali brought plenty of heat, the only difference being Kennedy just happening to go first, allowing (“I never lost a battle and I’m known to clap, get live and I’m inside whaling…Jonah’s back!”) Smoov the opportunity to edge the round with a couple of dope rebuttals to start his round off (tho, as EK would deftly point out next round, Cali did get the ‘nickle in his face like Abraham’ wrong). 2nd round saw the aforementioned choke by Cali, which might’ve been partly due to the crowd, but still nonetheless with EK spitting perhaps his best round, mixing (“Baby, you snitch and giving soundbites, all that jail you bringing, soon as I walk in ‘Shazam!’, that’s not the app, I can tell who singing!”) well with his punches and urban bangers, even if Cali hadn’t choked, that would’ve been a hard round to beat anyway. The deciding 3rd round saw EK stay consistent with a confident flow matched by frenzied setups, workmanlike (“My nigger got Krack covered and he ain’t involved with you dancers, back when [points at Cali] he had the toy, my nigger was really looking at the 8 ball for the answers!”) heaters and stinging personals to win the battle and beat back a very (“The Black panthers by my side like the Puma brand!”) solid, but elongated turn by Cali.
Verdict: Emerson Kennedy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Emerson Kennedy – “And any boy could make a boy, but it take a man to hold his son, I marched with my mom for gun control, later on learned how to control a gun!”
Recap: One could easily nickname this battle ‘Doing Too Much’. From John John da Don doing too much by unabashedly dissing Smack/URL on their own stage. Or Mr Wavy doing way too much in an elongated 2nd round, that while littered with a few haymakers here and there, was belabored by too many mediocre bars and simple schemes. Then too there was a crowd doing way too much with constant interruptions during Mr. Wavy’s 3rd round amidst loud, continuous cries for an end to a battle they felt JJDD had won handily. Still, while John John showed his (“These rappers is food, what y’all call the stage, is my eatery, I set him up for the shot, I guess that just the PG in me!”; “I’m charged up, back to back like that light-skinned nigga, but he could be Drake, I’m Quentin Miller, I gotta write for this nigga!”) vet mettle throughout this battle with fiery schemes, aggressive punches and mocking (“Deuce in a boot, got me walking like I sprained an ankle!”) personals, besides the final round, this certainly wasn’t a body as thanks in part to a mid-round slip-up during round 1 and Wavy’s ability to comeback (“…John try to haul ass, get that animal to his neck like a Lacrosse tag!”; “You lost to Shine, I sonned Shine, go check the forecast!”) nicely and make things competitive after a rambunctious turn by JJDD early on, the ‘Rookie’ almost made the 1st a debatable. And despite dishing more (“Nigga, you ready for combat? ‘cuz I get busy, ain’t shit iffy, construction work out glove, that grip with me!”) haymakers in round 2, it was Wavy who hurt himself there with a feast or famine turn before completely faltering in the 3rd (tho he began with a nice rebuttal) in light of a somewhat biased crowd as well as JJDD’s continued heat.
Verdict: John John da Don (W) 3-0
Favorite line: John John da Don – “That nigga Chizzy said he chased you and made you jump from the steel, you seen the clips and got pussy, ain’t that Netflix and chill?!”
Recap: Sometimes the other guy is just…more entertaining. Scoring with a load of rich performance bars, old-school dance moves and fiery/witty punchlines, E. Ness, while not as consistently punch-heavy as his opponent Hazey Williams here, still manages to squeak out a win over a more quotable foe who was a bit hurt by too many dated personals.
Verdict: E. Ness (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E. Ness – “Hazey can’t fool me, boy I know your kind, body parts everywhere, now you’ve been photo-bombed!”
Recap: Highly entertaining battle between E Ness and Hazey Williams is pretty even-handed through the first two rounds as Ness engages in enough rich metaphorical dalliances, nice (“Hazey can’t fool me, boy I know your kind, body parts everywhere, now you’ve been photobombed!”) punchlines and some old-school dance moves to keep up with Hazey’s fiery performance (“I’ll hold a square up with the trey like a cheese plate, you gonna get a couple quick, that’s how you speed date!”) bars and salient personals. 3rd round serves as the difference-maker and Hazey takes it with a steady diet of trendy (“For mentioning with Haze niggas could could hang from trees they swang from…niggas could hang? that’s a cool way to say goodbye…Stay Up!!”) wordplay that topped an still eccentric, but on the bar tally, subpar round from Ness.
Verdict: Hazey (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hazey – “Don’t start with me, cuz I’ll put a nickle in ya mouth nigga…talk is cheap!”
Recap: A more concise and diplomatic Head Ice and an always (“Your fucking old ass is one stroke away from redefining Harlem shaking”) confident, but punchline sketchy Real Deal split the first couple of rounds here in this matchup on KOTD, before Ice’s signature Harlem swag along with a crunching (“As far as my bodies in this rap shit, I’m the American Sniper!”) bar game edges him round 3 and the win, when put up against Deal’s lack of consistency in the final round.
Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Head Ice – “I ain’t kidding with you, shells big [points] as cow’s nipples, give him Down Syndrome!”
Recap: Dick jokes and a long introduction from Jey The Nitewing (any wonder why he’s shortened it to just ‘King’) aside, Nitewing’s fierce wordplay and witty personals do the most damage here in this 3-rounder and earns the win over a Lil Q who started off with a humorous and punch-worthy 1st round, before proceeding to get less potent with each round that followed.
Verdict: Jey The Nitewing (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Jey The Nitewing – “What they should’ve told you is that I’m a killer on this Cam aside from the Purple Haze, and Smoked out gonna need more than a Lil Q in order to serve a J!”
Recap: In this lengthy 3-rounder from Bar4Bar Rap Battle League, Fonz uses a gang of piercing punchlines, wily personals and hardbody darts to take all 3 rounds and handily beat back a storytelling rich and witty at times, but largely indirect and slip-up prone Veg Villa.
Verdict: Fonz (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fonz – “I told you, lil nigga, it’s the reason I’m hot, these lines amaze nigga’s, that’s the back of the cereal box!”
Recap: Utilizing a potent pen game to predict and mock his opponent’s penchant for adapting other battle rapper’s styles within his raps, along with a fiery punchline game, a gang of spicy rebuttals and a fire mid-round freestyle/rebuttal in the 2nd round that earned him a draw there, Charron easily beats backs an inconsistent John John da Don in the 1st and 3rd rounds for the win in this 3-rounder from KOTD.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “You lost your URL spot to Tay, you speak Spanish, you shoudl know your career is ondelay!”
Recap: Solid turns by both (“Them things ringing back-to-back, I ball-hog for my team, I’m an Aryan!”) Riggz and (“You could come to my White House and still see a black ratchet!”) Glueazy in this one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League. However, Riggs takes too long to heat up, saving his best bars for the 2nd half of his round, leaving way for a more consistently bar-heavy Glueazy with just enough room for the win.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Glueazy – “I keep piping these hoes like a hookah bar!”
Recap: Assessing the notorious Hitman Holla situation his opponent Bill Collector had a couple of years back with righteous indignation, flexing punchlines and over-the-top hilarity in an almost flawless 1st round, before hanging on to edge the 2nd round with some stinging wordplay and a more concise punch game, Jai 400 Block survives three solid (and pretty lyrical at times) rounds from his humbled opponent to edge this competitive 3-rounder from RBE.
Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jai 400 Block – “Shooter…that mean I’ll put the trey [3] on you like Bradley Bill [Beal]!”
Recap: Not sure what the backstory is on this. But Dizaster doing a pinoint impression on Don’t Flop host/battler Eurgh for this KOTD battle against Sketch Menace certainly kept things entertaining and often times funny. Still, while the slightly punch-heavier and witty ‘DizastEURGH’ managed to edge the opening round, his opponent’s more consistently gritty raps, straightforward punchlines, witty barbs and solid personals did enough to edge both of the latter rounds for the win as Diz’s bars would lose some steam as the battle proceeded.
Verdict: Sketch Menace (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Sketch Menace – “You wanna know how I know you’ve never scored? You reference porn!”
Recap: Too many predictable name flips and rudimentary bars offset a pretty solid and witty showing from A.C., while at the same time allowing a more consistently nice and forever boastful Pep a salient win over a Grind Time vet in this one-rounder from Bar Warz NY.
Verdict: Pep (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Pep – “Have both these hanging out his window…jumbo dice, act liek you want a piece of me, I’ll keep it gritty…buck-50, jumbo slice!”
Recap: Immensely fire battle between (“Beating me? You got a better chance of saving Atlantis!”) Bad Newz and (“All it takes is a banana to split his melon, you’ll be Easter fresh, for the last time, in front of your reverend!”) Big Hann with all sorts of mayhem, fierce braggadocio bars, righteous gun lines, some dope name flips and monstrous punchlines dished in all 3 rounds. Close throughout with a huge amount of replay value, the only difference here is who needed less time to get in their bag more. Thus, the 2nd and 3rd rounds to Big Hann for the vic.
Verdict: Big Hann (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Big Hann – “I’m a betting man, and I bet I leave here with your neck in hand, your life was over, as soon as I put your name in these rounds like a wedding band!”
Recap: First off, here’s hoping Arsonal doesn’t make riding around on that annoying hoverboard during his opponent’s rounds a regular thing because it sure is distracting for viewers and possibly whoever he’s facing. As for this battle/rematch itself, well up until the 3rd round where he slipped up not once but twice, it was pretty much Arsonal all day as Shotty Horroh’s predominant (tho that ‘In our last battle you blamed me for 100 years of slavery bro, I felt like a Brit for that…but then I did my research and it was 400 years, so you need black history class’ line was fire) mix of speedy filler and basic bars were no match for da Rebel’s delivery, bully bars, personals and hitting (“We white girls in a scary movie, we be tripping for nothing”) punchlines.
Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal – “That’s your man’s? good, I’ll kick your dog off a bridge, now you feeling like Ron Burgundy!”
