Over 4,000 Recaps!

Mister Greco

Battle rap enthusiast living in Timbuktu

Arsonal da Rebel defeats Swave Sevah

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Recap: Swave Sevah has gone on record stating that it’s hard to get motivated to battle dudes that he’s cool with outside the ring, and it shows here as he goes light and puts forth a couple of short rounds against Arsonal. Then too Arsonal, because of his friendship with Swave, admittedly didn’t bring the full artillery for him either, but he still brought enough heat, along with some nice personals and bars to take a battle that could’ve been a lot better if they didn’t like other.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “If God requires a sacrifice, you who I’mma offer. off ya, burst the desi, head shot, on the ready got your dreads looking like burnt spaghetti”

Cortez defeats Jonny Storm

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Recap: Against an always punch-heavy Jonny Storm in this 3-rounder from HomegrownBGCT, an uber-confident Cortez spazzes while getting lit for the entire battle with a gang of nasty personals, artful boasts/name flips, flexing wordplay/heat and righteous 4-bar setups/punchlines. And after the two would split the first two rounds, Tez saving his best, haymaker-drenched round for the 3rd would allow him to overcome another solid showing from Storm and earn the win.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “What you fuck say in the 1st round, that we been tracking dude, nigga, no one asked for you, how the fuck you gave me the rou-a-round when my career is overlapping you?!”

Danny Myers defeats Westcoast Dreds

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Recap: A pretty personal battle littered with West-coast culture-related bars, plenty of boasts/mayhem and aggressive punchlines, after splitting the first two rounds (Danny edged the 1st, while Westcoast Dreds took the 2nd), a more active/versatile with the punches and consistent with the heat Mr. Myers is able to beat back a solid, but also a bit topsy-turvy and whiny turn from W.D. in the deciding 3rd round.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “That lima bean broke my time machine, ain’t no going back for me!”

Sno defeats HA Double

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Recap: Sno aka Andy La Rocksta aka SnoMan aka the “Hip-Hop Riley Cooper” combines aggressive bars, heavy wordplay, nice name flips and a few stumbles by HA Double to take this UFF (Ultimate Freestyle Friday) tournament matchup.

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Sno – “You goin’ see two Lee’s [Li’s] start kickin like a dual match between Bruce and Jet”

Cortez defeats John John da Don

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Recap: Cortez is at his best when he’s totally focused and thus able to combine clever wordplay with nice comedic timing and aggressive bars/delivery. JJDD is at his best when he’s rapid punching along with delivering dope schemes/personals and of course, not stealing bars. So if these two stick to their formulas, what could possibly go wrong? Nothing here as these battle vets put on a quality show with no interruptions, instead frequented by exquisite bars, creative lines and feelgood machismo. However, it’s Cortez who gets the dub here with better angles, performance and consistency all around, esp. in round 1 and 2.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez – “John John I ain’t playing tonight, your girl on my john-john but am I saying it right?””

C3 defeats O’fficial

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Recap: Dope, spirited and competitive battle between C3 and O’fficial on Queen of the Ring is highlighted by a barrage of braggadocio bangers, steady name flips and spicy wordplay/personals by C3 as well as fierce punchlines, solid heaters/personals and bodacious schemes by O’fficial. With O’fficial coming (“You big booty bitch, you wack as shit, with that big ass, how the fuck you find a strap to fit?!”) back late during her turn to edge the 1st round before C3 came back with a killer (“It’s amazing you could name a list of people that’s fucking me, and I can’t think of one dick that would admit that they fucking you!”) rebuttal, amped up punches and just-as-fire bars to take round 2, the 3rd and deciding round goes to C3. Who while elongated with her turn, still managed to go ham with a mix of punches that included some nice freestyles, stellar, in-ya-face idiosyncrasy and a load of hard wordplay to beat back a solid, but not as consistent (and a little redundant) turn by O’fficial.

Verdict: C3 (W) 2-1

Favorite line: C3 – “That’s probably why she can’t keep a guy or she having trouble getting one, this ring is fucking so important to you ‘cuz you know a nigger would never give you one!”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Shooney Da Rapper

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Recap: Black Ice Cartel 3-rounder between Bonnie Godiva and Shooney Da Rapper sees a versatile and lyrically-lit Bonnie go ham on her opponent, using stinging 4-bar set-ups/jokes, some fire name flips, stifling personals and rigid mayhem/storytelling to beat a hardbody, but topsy-turvy and flow-challenged 3 rounds from Shooney.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Ever since Love and Hip-Hop, all you bald-headed side hoes been acting important!”

Eazy The Block Captain defeats MillionDolla Cash

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Recap: Loved that ‘It’s like a season pass, this only a cash lane, who the fuck let Eazy pass?!’ line and a bunch of other piercing street missives (esp. in round 3, which he edged) tossed out by MillionDolla Cash in this gritty 3-rounder from World Battle League. However, a more consistently spicy, gun bar/trap talk-savvy and punch-lit Eazy The Block Captain with that pronounced flow that enriches his 4-bar set-ups and other worthy schemes/name flips, does enough here to take both of the opening rounds for the win.

Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “That .40 like a job, but in less hours I give 9 five!”

Brizz Rawsteen defeats Lotta Zay

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Synopsis: Too many old-school references, generic bars and an inability to match Brizz Rawsteen’s aggression, gutter bars and personals clearly did Lotta Zay in here.  

Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1  

Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Smart mouth niggas get smacked, right in their wisdom teeth!”

KG The Poet defeats Philly Swain

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Synopsis: Who knew Philly Swain came outta retirement? OK well, unless he’s gonna update his style (that “Daddy” shit needs to go), use some newer-school references along with writing some better bars (“Have our head steamin like you runnin in the cold”?!?) and stop with the childish antics (ala fellow Philly native E. Ness)…..as KG The Poet does here, he’s gonna keep getting bodied in the ring. Indeed, a sad sight to see for a long-standing vet.

Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 3-0

Favorite line: KG The Poet – “The uncomfortable truth is if you was really making your money, bumping your music, you wouldn’t be in this ring getting pumbled and bruises from a nigga doing this shit half your time but still got paid double what you did!”

Bedaffi Green defeats Stash

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Recap: Nice 1-rounder between Stash (Queens, NY) and Bedaffi Green on TrapHouse NY sees the former get off to a slow start before delivering Jew-laced mayhem backed by some fierce punchlines. But it’s a confident and more consistent Bedaffi who steals the show and gains the win with his own aggressive mix of spicy braggadocio lines, witty barbs and fiery punches.

Verdict: Bedaffi Green (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Bedaffi Green – “Nigga’s know I don’t play, it’s that fat nigga from Gym class!”

Young Kannon defeats D. Flamez

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Synopsis: Battle of the aggressive YN’s was definitely competitive throughout, but YK took it a notch in round 3, getting more versatile with the (“Better have your cousin in the Will [wheel] that’s Hillary Banks, ‘cuz you die in this ring, that’s Hillary Swank!”) wordplay, bars, performance and schemes to take the win.

Verdict: Young Kannon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: D. Flamez – “That bitch remind me of Daylight Savings Time, an hour a head [ahead]”

Uno Lavoz defeats Bonnie Godiva

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Recap: Is a win really a win when you’ve been exposed for allegedly being a rapist and woman-beater? Thanks to a pretty creative 3rd round from Bonnie Godiva, I guess that that will be up for Uno Lavoz to decide. But damn if Uno didn’t know something was up when you see your ex-girlfriend standing on stage…on the opposing side. Nonetheless, thanks to a slick mix of very disrespectful shiners, solid punchlines, a none-too-clean-2nd from Bonnie and that noted wit he’s become renowned for, it’s Lavoz who easily takes the first two rounds for the vic here.

Verdict: Uno Lavoz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Uno Lavoz – “And Ill Will even said that at one point you was talking to that dude as well, shit, she such a battle slut she should a get a tattoo above her cunt saying ‘Rapper to my right, introduce yourself!'”

Geechi Gotti defeats King Rico

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Recap: In what was a pretty basic slew of raps from both sides, a first round choke by King Rico ends up sealing the deal as Geechi Gotti does enough with the punches and personals to also take round 2 before the leisurely stylings of Rico spits enough heat to beat back a pedestrian turn by Gotti in the 3rd.

Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “Nigga, I’ll beat your ass plkus I’ll do that daily, put a potato on a pistol, turn this nigga head into gravy!”

J. Murda defeats Nasdaq Ness

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Recap: Here J. Murda takes a page from Charlie Clips, including with his “Sike, I lied!’ moment a variety of feelgood schemes, witty name flips and ironic wordplay to take this one from a steady, but mostly uneventful Nasdaq Ness.

Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1

Favorite line: J. Murda – “Just imagine when the shotty burst, and I’ll have your ass moving with your bones out like Miley twerking!”

Whosane defeats Pep

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Recap: Tho he did falter a bit towards the end of his turn, a way more condensed Whosane spouts enough heated punches, fiery schemes and steely wordplay to edge Pep, who despite some nice (“Dirty nigga, you look like your thoughts stink!”) freestyles here and there, dished an elongated round that was too littered with pedestrian bars.

Verdict: Whosane (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Whosane – “My nigga’s promote that white like apartheid, this .40 look like it should have a deep voice and invite nigga’s to join the dark side!”

Jay Rell defeats T Man

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Recap: Nice freestyles, Flintstone bars, personals, rebuttals in the middle of the verse and hometown Detroit schemes that made the homies nod their head in approval, it’s all there as Jay Rell scores an easy one against T Man.

Verdict: Jay Rell (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jay Rell – “30 shot, extended clip, 2 will kill that bitch and now you facing 28, that’s Kwame Kilpatrick”

Fiirst Ladii Flamez defeats J.D. Storm

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Recap: A boatload of lyrical stunting, righteous boasts, stickly gun bars and some downright mean personals dominate this “Saint Valentines Day Massacre” card matchup between Fiirst Ladii Flamez and J.D. Storm from Battleground Virginia. And while both battlers kept it close throughout the bout, a more consistently spicy and overall bar-heavier Flamez manages to edge each round for the 30.

Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “You look like you had an uncle who used to play with your cheeks!”

Ah Di Boom defeats J. Dose

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Synopsis: When Ah Di Boom’s bars matches his performance and delivery he’s good comp. for just about anyone, including Dose whose inconsistency and lack of creativity are still proving to be major flaws. Give Boom credit here too for mostly staying away from what would’ve been easy-to-run with Math bars and using his natural talent instead to get the win.

Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Ah Di Boom – “This combo will put you in the same coma Lil’ Wayne had, shots hit every inch of your body ‘cuz my aim drag”

MyVerse defeats Melato Black

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Recap: Outside of a 2nd round choke from Melato Black, both and opponent MyVerse were able to display a consistent and fiery stream of adept lyricism in this Sparring Sessions battle brought to you from Queen of the Ring. But the telling Hip-Hop feen that is MyVerse, delivering nothing but steady heat via hardbody punches, sporty girl-power darts, stinging personals and some charming wordplay/schemes, takes each round handily on her way to a shutout.

Verdict: MyVerse (W) 3-0

Favorite line: MyVerse – “I rather expose how you wouldn’t flex if you could, in her neighborhood she’s called the Neck of the Wood!”

Charron defeats TheSaurus (Rematch)

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Recap: TheSaurus certainly made him earn it as in this dope, personal and punchline-lit KOTD rematch of an earlier freestyle battle that the two had sometime back (that TheSaurus won), Charron hits with enough witty barbs, steely punches/wordplay, storytelling bars and stinging personals to edge the 2nd round (scored the other two debatable) and take this competitive battle.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charron – “The Saurus, you’re washed up with no future, you’re the oldest fucking book since Kama Sutra!”

Whosane and Sco [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Besides a hot 2nd round from Whosane, there’s really not much to see here. A dry 1st round from both battlers makes that one a toss-up. The latter two rounds sees too many dated/pedestrian bars throughout from Sco. Yet, Whosane, ahead going into the 3rd, forgets his bars midway and almost chokes, which allows the less flow-challenged Sco to steal the round and get a draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Whosane – “I’m with your groovy bitch, she give me funny head…that’s Stewie Griffin!”

Cortez defeats K-Shine

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Recap: Mostly lackluster battle between K-Shine and Cortez. Round one sees the Murda Ave kingpin throw an ample lot of punches, but fail to land much–as opposed to K-Shine whose wanton brevity still managed to fashion some fiery (“Walking through Myrtle Ave with that weapon out like I licensed it!”) bars. Next couple of rounds saw Cortez get tighter and more efficient with his wordplay as well as up his performance to what was at times comical (“The nigga Rex is mad cuz his girl is bald like me, he ain’t think I’d peep that”) effect. While K-Shine, who outside of round one, seemingly didn’t take this match that seriously, in the latter rounds struggled with his delivery and bar potency–those factors combined with Cortez’s overall comeuppance gave the kid from Brooklyn a come-from-behind win.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cortez –  “You see we surround towns, I bring the noise to every corner, surround sound!”

Brixx Belvedere defeats Danny Myers

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Recap: Dope battle between Brixx Belvedere and Danny Myers, which is to be expected considering it headlined this Spit Dat Heat card. As is his modus operandi Danny came with righteous and aggressive bars loaded with gun talk, spicy wordplay and and feelgood “I’ll knock you to the grass with this palm blower, stand over you and crank it back to back like I can’t start my lawnmower”) execution. Yet, against a vet like Brixx, who was clearly on his A-game, Myers would come up just a little bit short as while scarce on haymakers, Brixx made up for it with constantly hitting (“I told these soldiers I came with the shooters, no toys I want head shots, I’m screaming ‘Red Tops!’ like dope boys”) punchlines, gutta (“If son flagging like Argentina, he gonna wear that bulls eye with a smile like a Target greeter”) bars, nice set-ups, jokes (“See this? I’m laid-back like tall drivers”) and biting personals. So while Danny put on a real good show, more versatility with the bars gets Brixx the win.

Verdict: Brixx Belvedere (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “My Niggaz shooting Brixx like they don’t care if they make the team or not”

Charlie Clips defeats Conceited

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Synopsis: Charlie Clips better be lucky he’s been in the game so long, because his lack of preparation can still be a head scratcher for such a talented dude. Of course, the first thing you think of when you see Conceited vs Charlie Clips in the first place is why this wasn’t on URL, but whatever. That said, Conceited’s 1st round was straight fire: punchlines galore (“even if he is cocking the 5, this cat…pop in the sky like the lion king”), the Dot Mob diss and the 3rd-tier slow-it-down made for a superb round. But Clips came back nicely with personals, schemes, dope bars and a rebuttal that just murked Con’s original Captain Morgan slow-it-down. After an incredible 1st, Con returned with just an alright 2nd, what with a lame slow-it-down and not much else. On the other hand, knowing that he can always rely on his freestyle ability when he comes to battle rap, Clips easily took the 2nd, dissing Con’s celebrity nut-hugging (“Kim Condashian”), going after Dizaster and throwing out some crowd pleasers that more that won them over. As for the 3rd round, Con, who clearly came more prepared, easily took it with a broad range of bars, jokes (“Nigga, you can get it anywhere, that’s Craigslist”) and punchlines, yet while Clips came with it with the Slow-it-Down (slogans as a weapon) joke, his stumble clearly gave the round away.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Best line: Charlie Clips – “Got an oiled gun on my dresser (but) I’ll change it and put the newest clip in, 5 sing and 1 crack head, that’s New Edition

Fettuccine 20 defeats Lion Heart

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Recap: In this 1-rounder from 16 Bars Rap Battle League, an aggressive but mostly basic Fettuccine 20 manages to unload enough street missives and solid gun bars to beat back a gritty, yet underwhelming Lion Heart to get the win.

Verdict: Fettuccine 20 (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Fettuccine 20 – “I never let the arm rest, I don’t put the gun down, but this a head shot, you gonan die off this one round!”

QP (Qleen Paper) defeats Q.P.

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Recap: A long-awaited grudge match between QP (Qleen Paper) and Q.P. turns out to be a bit underwhelming on both sides as besides a fire (“Your mom look like a dried up grape, yep, the bitch raising [raisin] you!”) round 1, Quantum Physics usual pedigree for superlative wordplay were quite pedestrian in the latter two rounds, while Qleen’s boastful darts and gun punditry weren’t consistently noteworthy. Still, helped by an elongated turn by his opponent as well as some witty barbs and fiery (“Swave?, I would’ve laid that big nerd down, 3rd round?, my hands would’ve went around his neck, since I’m known for choking!”) personals/punches, a more condensed Qleen came back to edge the 2nd round before also edging the deciding 3rd with pronounced heaters along with a slightly more consistently potent output.

Verdict: Qleen Paper (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Qleen Paper – “Nigga, I’m the only QP you’ll notice, Temptations nigga, you been hating….nobody coming to see you Otis!”

Bandana Boogie defeats prez mafia

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Recap: Short rounds, a choke, one half round spent talking to a dude in the audience. Regardless of how much a rising star prez mafia is, there’s no sense in taking a battle if you’re not gonna take it seriously.

Verdict: Bandana Boogie (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Bandana Boogie – “My gun will open up for everybody, it’s a people person”

Hitman Holla defeats O-Red

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Synopsis: Hitman all day. With arguably his greatest 1st round ever, Holla puts on another tremendous show with bars (“I told Ars send me my bread…and his half too!”, “I’m standing there giving him the Mayweather shoulder”), name schemes and of course, a dope remix to get off to a flying start. And while Red had a good round (that “40 in the club hitting young’uns, it’s a cougar strap” line was nice), pulling a JJDD and attempting copy’s Hitman’s remix was a lame move that came off horribly. After a so-so 2nd round by both rappers (I gave it to Red mostly because HH practically gave it up), Hitman, went back in beast mode for the 3rd, with polished sport schemes, personals (“It’s a known fact, all bitches hate when RED show up…period!”) and a hilarious version of Calicoe’s infamous story on Red’s problems with women that undoubtedly gave Hitman the W.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Best line: Hitman Holla – “I’ll punch you in the middle of my verse…rebuttal that!”

Stuey Newton defeats Hipnosis

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Recap: In this 3-rounder from KOTD, the mostly stiff bars of Hipnosis fail to make much noise, even when faced by a Stuey Newton who was solid throughout, but whom we’ve witnessed come better.

Verdict: Stuey Newton (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Stuey Newton –  “When I see you, you better do everything I say, ‘cuz when I snap, you’ll be under hypnosis!”

Xcel defeats Amazin D Boy

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Recap: With Amazing D Boy it’s usually a matter of his bars matching his yelling and agrression and in round 1 he was able so with enough dope wrodplay that he was even able to bring “Dawson’s Creek” into the battle and get away with it. Too bad for D Boy his first round was as good as it got, thereby allowing Xcel to step up his bar (“Try to pull my card, and get the hand like nigga deal with that”) game, retake the lead and easily get the win with an exquisite and crowd-pleasing 3rd.

Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Xcel – “You rhyme like a soldier, spit like a threat, but yet when it’s time to shake, them lines gone, you Etch-A-Sketch”

Diesel defeats Ratchet

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Recap: Diesel’s more rambunctious bars aren’t always spitfire, but here against a more often lyrical lightweight in Ratchet, the Cali rapper’s bombastic Godspeak combined with the aforementioned how-many-ways-I-can-kill-you themes, are enough to come from behind, take the last two rounds and a win.

Verdict: Diesel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Diesel – “I’ll come to your funeral and when they try to lift you to Jesus, and give you something to take to the grave, like you’ll keep it a secret!”

Rum Nitty defeats Tycoon Tax

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Recap: More versatile, more consistent and more potent. Faced with the mostly ‘half-assed writtens’ from Tycoon Tax, Rum Nitty stays busy with elite guns bars, swaggerlicious name flips and well-honed (“Bitch, I’m on a roll like Charmin tissue!”) punchlines to score an easy 3-0 in this 3-rounder from KOTD..

Verdict: Rum Nitty (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Rum Nitty – “I hit the function with my hat down low, computer virus, everybody in the background froze!”

D.O.T. defeats Eazy the Block Captain

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Recap: After being taken to the woodshed by a more aggressive, metaphorically (“4 niggas in one class flow, I’m about to hit you with all types of special shit!”) nice and scheme-prone Eazy the Block Captain in round one, D.O.T. returns the favor in the latter rounds, leveling his ever-rich stage performance with a constant barrage of lethal (“i got the instincts of an animal nigga, but on my plate, human remains, so now I got the instincts of a cannibal!”) punchlines, nice personals and wild (“Chopper, heavy, I might catch a hernia if I lift from the thighs”) gun bars to come from behind and take the win.

Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 2-1

Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I’ll go in my closet and search for black clothes, I’m no pedophile, but the .9 I’m touching is about 4 years old!”

JC defeats Danja Zone

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Recap: Weird seeing Smack host a non-URL battle. That said, despite an overall solid effort from Danja Zone, too many pedestrian bars overall, taking too long to get in his bag during rounds, fleeting personals that just didn’t hit and equally a punch-heavy JC who consistently brought the heat with audacious shiners and personals throughout the battle, gives the latter a pretty comfortable 30.

Verdict: JC (W) 3-0

Favorite line: JC –  “I can blow like 8 battles straight bro, I’m the shit regardless and I’m a still get paid to burn you pussies…Mr. Marcus!”

Cortez defeats Automatic Ray

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Synopsis: Another easy win for Cortez as other then the 2nd round, Automatic Ray didn’t really put up much of a fight. Inconsistent bars and way too much filler did Ray in, which sucks because this wasn’t your best Cortez (once again too many gun bars) and against a vet you’d think PG’s, rookies or whatever you want to call them, would want to step it up to add an impressive ‘W’ to their resume. Not in this case.

Verdict: Cortez (W) 2-1

Best line: Cortez – “The nigga Lux said in Harlem the loser had to jump, well we in Brooklyn, they brought guns and this loser has to run!”

Pat Stay defeats Dizaster

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Recap: Champion Pat Stay versus longtime battle vet Dizaster for the KOTD chain makes for a curious style clash and incredible battle, but overall doesn’t quite meet up to the expectations. And that’s partly due to the battle being almost an hour long, thus making for both battlers while getting a lot off their chest, being a little bent with filler and/or pedestrian bars, especially on Dizaster’s part. Still, while Diz wasn’t always on his A-game, even struggling with his flow at times, using lazy personals (including way too many Golden Retriever/Charron references) and not being as consistently aggressive as we’re used to seeing him, for the most part Pat Stay was, with the Nova Scotia spitter dishing his usual assortment of jocular stylings, hard bully bars and gritty punchlines with the flair of a defending champ. Overall, a solid battle that sees a more polished and condensed Pat Stay hold onto his belt by taking the first two rounds before a debatable 3rd.

Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Pat Stay – “Check it, see you wild, but I got more style than you, I’m so nice my rap name should be ‘How Are You?'”

Mike P defeats Ooops

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Recap: A slip-up prone Ooops more than lives up to his name with a plethora of unexpected visits from EARL during his 2nd and 3rd rounds, after spitting what was solid, but pretty short 1st. But then with Mike P’s continual assault of fiery words, white-boy (“The right [makes hand like a fist] deadly as Oxycontin in a white kid’s hand!”) drama and punches throughout his three rounds, even if Ooops had managed to spit three clean rounds, he still might’ve been better off staying at home.

Verdict: Mike P (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Mike P -“You food on my plate, shit you looking like the ref’s look, when then Tek’s book, it’s textbook, dude cock it and shoot two rockets and shove it back in my pocket…I’m Russell Westbrook!”

Drugz defeats J Protege

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Recap: Honestly thought J Protege was done when he mentioned Avril Lavigne in a bar in round 1. But credit to the kid for pushing on, tho he’d eventually slip-up and choke in the latter rounds, all the while handily losing to a brazen, punchline-lit, gun bar-dishing and wordplay-spicy Drugz in this tryout battle from SupaNova/STC.

Verdict: Drugz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Drugz – “Right after I get the pump, you gonna lay there like an airbed!”

K Holla defeats AR-16

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Synopsis: There’s obvious reasons you have to respect the freestyle over the written when it comes to battle rap. After all anyone can take the time to prepare bars, memorize them and deliver them come battle time. But freestyling takes on a whole different mentality, what with on-the-spot spontaneity combined electrifying energy, an oft-difficult artform that takes you back to the neighborhood cyphers. It’s why this battle was close, because while K. Holla’s wordplay were genuinely nice and consistent, they weren’t superb or creative enough to warrant an obvious win over AR’s mix of funny hijinks and steady personals..all within freestyle mode. Too bad AR basically took the first round off, wasting freestyles on Jesse Rican instead of his opponent or he might’ve stole another win.

Verdict: K Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: K Holla – “Call my bluff, no ring, I’ll let it vibrate beside his click, his body drop without nobody knowing, that’s Beyonce shit”

Gwitty defeats A.K.

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Recap: A.K.’s laidback flow reeks of urban flair that often hit their rmark. However, an inconsistent 1st round and a choke in the 3rd allows for a pretty average overall Gwitty to squeeze out a win.

Verdict: Gwitty (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  A.K. – “Always screaming out ‘Gwitty is paper!’, nigga from the looks of it, it looks like Gwitty is labor!”

Aye Verb defeats Ah Di Boom

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Synopsis: Again, I hate one-rounders. Nonetheless, this was a dope battle as both had bars for days, brought plenty of performance and threw some jokes (Ah Di Boom’s line about Verb patting his s-curls before a fight was hilarious) in there to keep the crowd entertained. However, overall I thought Verb edged it with better storytelling and while succinctly schooling Ah Di Boom on newbies vs. vets and how to become a better battle rapper. Then too, Ah Di Boom relied too much on rumors and hearsay and real rap always beats fabricated lines.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 1-0

Best line: Aye Verb – “Your second mistake, image is everything, it’s way more than just some rap shit, don’t get it twisted you’re not dirty, you have fashion, just your whole act says…I can be catfished”

Chess defeats J-Krooger

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Recap: Can’t complain here, both Chess and J-Krooger did their thing, unfortunate that someone in the crowd tried to ruin the event. Still, Chess edges this 1-rounder with more clever wordplay and direct punches that more than made their mark.

Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chess – “And if I do lose tonight your top flying, nigga I’m taking either side, I’m not biased”

Rosenberg Raw defeats Swave Sevah

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Synopsis: Rosenberg Raw doesn’t get near the credit he deserves for being funny, having bars and performance, which makes it even more surprising that a seasoned vet like Swave would take him light. I mean Swave’s 1st round was so short and blah that he practically gave it to Raw on a plate. And Raw had some witty bars in the 2nd (“I’m the type to grab an ounce of soft and make him sell it for me, I always wanted to fuck QP in the mouth would you go tell her for me?”), but a couple of slip-ups and a more aggressive Swave evened things out. Yet Rosenberg stayed consistent in the 3rd with better bars to edge it out in the end.

Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1

Best line: Swave Sevah – “Rosenberg, the only nigga I know that caught feelings when a Bill Collector stopped calling”

Cash Eatin defeats Piranha

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Recap: Dope one-rounder between Piranha and Cash Eatin with Piranha snapping on his opponent’s authenticity (“You make Detroit look bad, you a X-Factor nigga!”) while delivering frequent personals. On the flip side Cash went for straight clowning (“It’s Peanut…without the .38!”) but also spit some juicy punchlines, performance bars and name flips. More variety on the side of Cash Eatin gave him the win.

Verdict: Cash Eatin (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Cash Eatin – “Head to the stars, smile, you in hell’s kitchen when that mac shake, getting hit with that 40 like…bars, getting stared at with the Jaz face!”

Nuborn defeats Supastar Sal

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Recap: This was on its way to being a pretty dope battle until both Supastar Sal and Nuborn choked and slipped up in the 3rd round. Before that Sal was putting on a decent show, esp. scoring in the 2nd round with quips like “This is Brady verse McNabb, Mayweather verse whoever you can grab” and gutta lines like “Fuck Nuborn, I’m avoiding??? him, I’ll buck him and keep on trucking like Oregon”. Still, Nuborn rode into VA with some out of town heat, packing personals (“You know what your broad do? she be playing with my nuts ‘cuz I’m packing downstairs like my basement full of junk”), wordplay and punchlines (“He’ll put his lips on a mail, that’s a love letter”) with wanton regularity. Too bad for Sal, after splitting the first couple of rounds, an early choke would do him in and make it a layup for Nuborn to grab the win.

Verdict: Nuborn (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nuborn – “He’ll get salty when I go ham, it’ll raise his blood pressure”

M. Ciddy defeats Daylyt

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Recap: “This battle means absolutely nothing to me”….and from the moment Daylyt did the sign language stuff, you just knew where this battle was headed. Still, M. Ciddy did his thing and deserves credit for it: nice (“I could sleep and son Day [Sunday] like I’m late for church”) wordplay, hard-hitting bars, fresh schemes and winning personals to cop an easy win.

Verdict: M. Ciddy (W) 3-0

Favorite line: M. Ciddy – “Dammit dude you the lamest in the town, you about to battle Magic to tangle for this crown, he fatal with the sound, for you to get that B M W you gotta try angles [triangles] in the round”

D.O.T. defeats Hood Apostle

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Recap: D.O.T.’s performance bars not only capture the gloomy chill as well as the passion of Brooklyn rhyme-slayers, but leaves you calling 911 to come pick up Hood Apostle’s corpse too.

Verdict: D.O.T. (W) 3-0

Favorite line: D.O.T. – “I’ll strangle you with a rope till I see Whoopi Goldberg in you, he like ‘what that mean?’, that’s the color purple”

John John Da Don defeats Qleen Paper

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Recap: A rare peek from inside URL’s Vault here finds John John Da Don going up against Qleen Paper and up until Qleen pulls out his phone to remember his bars towards the end of his 3rd round (which, ironically he was receiving doubt over whether or not he’d even having a 3rd round, considering some more recent, ill-prepared performances) it was a goodie as Qleen’s mocking personals (esp. towards Rosenberg Raw), witty performance bars and gritty street boasts edged him round 1, before the versatile, set-up/punch-lit and brazen JJDD (who’s only problem here was way too many shots at Calicoe here, yunno, instead of the guy he was facing) came back to edge round 2 to even things up. However, as alluded to earlier, despite some effort that got him half-way through, a solid final turn by Qleen (against another fiery run by JJDD in the 3rd) would amount to a huge misstep by the Detroit up-n-comer when he forgot his lines and had to go to his phone to complete his round, thus helping John John seal the win.

Verdict: John John Da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: John John Da Don – “I hear this pussy say it again, like John John ain’t real he just faking again, I reply like ‘What nigga?!’, put the .8 to his chin, it’ll be the first time he won’t say it again!”

Tink Tha Demon defeats LB Da Boss

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Recap: In a one-round battle of two emcees spitting a lot of aggressive lines, but not really saying much, Tink Tha Demon has just enough (“I seen niggas with loud mouths turn casket shy!”) shiners left in the tank to beat a cocky and aggressive, but mostly bland LB Da Boss.

Verdict: Tink da Demon (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “All I know is shoot to kill, all I seen is bodies, bullets with no names, just ifs, and’s and probably’s!”

Casey Jay defeats Teekay

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Recap: Too many syrupy punchlines from Casey Jay to go along with some hard-hitting personals and a fierce name-flip game gives her a well-earned 30 over a brazen and aggressive, but mostly pedestrian and flow-challenged Teekay in this Texas 3-rounder from DFW Battle League.

Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 3-0 

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “These two guns come together like they Siamese twins, killing a couple, that’s why I call ’em Hers and His!”

Big Kannon and T Money Bagz (DEBATABLE)

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Recap: I hate ties, but this one could definitely go either way. I mean, Big Kannon came with his usual m.o.: sizzling bars, jokes, schemes, personals all wrapped up in a dope performance. But the always underrated Money Bagz came with a total barfest that was so surprisingly (“My homie had to use the sweeper 3 times in one day, now that’s a neat freak!”) consistent, overall it matched BK’s palette. Regardless, no matter who you think won, if Money Bagz were to make a case for getting on the big stage with Smack, he’d be well within his rights to use battle to cement his argument.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Big Kannon – “But why he been sleeping?, when the thing that I’m keeping is a nice banger, long beam, light from the sco look like a lightsaber, come out with your green or see that tommy, that’s the white ranger to put a hole in anything sweet, that’s a life saver”

Cityy Towers defeats Presidential Dubz

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Recap: Whew! Kinda battle that makes you actually yearn for the Fight Klub days where you had a pool table between the rappers therefore making touching each other a non-issue. That said, I don’t have a problem with any battle rapper not wanting to be touched during a battle, but with all the performance bars and hand gesturing that’s in play these days, it doesn’t take being a rocket scientist to know the difference between being touched (Dubz barely grazed him) accidentally and someone outright disrespecting you with their hands. Then too, since it’s Cityy Towers who started the whole brouhaha (again, he had every right to be bothered by the touching, but I don’t think Dubz meant any disrespect with any of it), to be fair, all that gesturing at the camera while his opponent spits and/or grilling his opponent isn’t cool either, much less displays poor sportsmanship. Too bad for all distractions that came with the extra shit, because bar for bar and style for style this was a really dope battle. I got Towers edging taking the 1st and 2nd rounds, while Dubz clearly got the 3rd.

Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cityy Towers -“You’re a Buckingham’s Palace guard, your career’s a stand still”

DNA defeats Calicoe

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Synopsis: Probably the worse Calicoe we’ve ever seen: totally unprepared, testy and clearly overlooking his opponent for his upcoming match with Surf. Props to DNA for catching an easy body on his home turf and putting it out there in no uncertain terms to Calicoe that he lost to Lux.

Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0

Best line: DNA – “But since you like Michael Vick, it should ne no problem when this eagle spit, this nigga Calicoe be fighting with chickens more then Peter Griffin”

Danny Myers defeats Mark Miner

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Recap: The only battle rapper who’ll never need a hype man, if you wanna understand Danny Myers struggle (“Danny boy ain’t trying to have a career like Danny Boy“) and where the hell all that energy comes from this is the battle to watch. I mean 10 kids!!! Has he ever heard of something called a vasectomy? Regardless, Myers steals the show here from an earnest, but just alright Mark Miner, taking him to town with haymakers, consistent aggression, a nice Death Row scheme and flat-out (“FBI will be looking for a minor [Miner] like an Amber Alert”) bars. Yikes, indeed.

Verdict: Danny Myers (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “It’s like I took a bible up to the 2nd floor the way I come up with verses”

Bonnie Godiva and Dutchess [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Nothing too out of the ordinary here as Dutchess and Bonnie Godiva use pretty standard dishes of mayhem, personals, witty barbs and punches to get their point across in this 3-rounder from RBE. And while the ever-bombastic Dutchess had the best round of the night with a sizzling 2nd round after a debatable 1st, a pretty mediocre 3rd by Dutch would allow the slightly punch-heavier Bonnie to edge the final round and make this one a draw.

Verdict: Debatable

Favorite line: Dutchess – “Bon-Bon, look around you, we all know you was sucking off John John!”

R Streetz defeats Tony Gwapo

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Recap: Flexing some nice wordplay, fortified gun lines and hard, braggadocio bars throughout this one-round matchup, R Streetz withstands the swift, sometimes fiery punches of Tony Gwaop, who if he didn’t spend a quarter of his turn going at other rappers besides his opponent might’ve stood a better chance at beating the guy in front of him.

Verdict: R Streetz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: R Streetz – “Nigga, you smell fake, [so] when this little nigga pop up on you, it ain’t Hell Date!”

Ill Will defeats B. Magic

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Recap: Ill Will versus B. Magic is a close one throughout with the always punchline-heavy Magic dishing too much heat in taking the 1st round, before Will overcomes a bit of a slow start and returns the favor with a barrage of heated punches and potent schemes to outshine a less potent Magic, take the 2nd and split things going into the 3rd. With Magic still punching efficiently in the deciding round, but failing to meet the high barometer he set in the 1st, a more versatile with the bars, name flip savvy and witty Will does more than enough to take the round and the win.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ill Will – “You nobody till somebody kill you, that’s what Biggie taught, think you could outrun these shells? that’s what Ricky thought!”

Prep defeats D Money

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Recap: Nice battle. D-Money represented, the “I’ll Quiet the room, I’ll get his queen flipped” line was ill (esp. with what I guess was Prep’s girl in the room) as was the “I got a young shooter that’s dying to put in work, he’ll spit that heat for just enough money to roll weed with” bar if you like that G talk. But a little too much filler (not including explaining what happened with his lackluster PG battle) and his homies gassing up his bars (esp. the “.357…long nose…pelican” line) was just a little too much to bear. That said, Prep proves once again that he’s a problem, not just out-dressing his opponent, but winning with some nice wordplay (“He got it back words [backwards], thinking he could spar with raps”), personals (“…..I know y’all hoped D Rose to the occasion but his PG was on some bullshit!”), quality freestyles in the middle of the written, fresh schemes and dope bars.

Verdict: Prep (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Prep – “This was the wrong one to bank on, Norbes should’ve put Money in a Vault”