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Shotgun Suge

Hitman Holla defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Considering all the hype over the years at the prospect of seeing Hitman Holla versus Shotgun Suge, this highly anticipated ‘grudge’ match, even with a UDubb crowd that actually seemed to bring a ton of energy to the battle, was overall a bit underwhelming. But blame the participants for that, not the crowd (tho one can’t help to wonder how this battle would’ve played out if it was on URL). After all, three elongated rounds from each battler didn’t help matters and neither did some lame bars and redundant themes throughout the match. Still, it should also be said that both battlers did deliver on some stinging performance bars, fierce gun bars, witty (Suge: “I ain’t saying you fake, but what kind of Hitman listens to Drake ?!”) barbs, fire (Hitman: “That little pocket slide tap, look, that shit wack, that heart shoving shit?, I do not play that…don’t make me fuck up the culture on my first day back!”) braggadocio lines and some very pointed personals. And while there would be no ‘pocket tap’ from Suge and Hitman’s remix (off a fire ‘legally blind’ punch) was pretty lame, overall this was a pretty solid battle with Hitman dropping more haymakers to take the 1st, a debatable 2nd round that was mired with plenty of pedestrian bars from both sides and a more potent, punch-heavy and self-deprecating Holla getting the 3rd for the win.

Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I don’t gangbang 24/7 ‘cuz my son 11 and he know exactly what them signs mean!”

Bad Newz defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Bad Newz puts a hit on Shotgun Suge, welcoming the Jersey veteran to the Bullpen Battle League with plenty of fiery personals, sturdy gun bars, potent name flips, some dope wordplay and gritty punchlines. And while Suge hung in there throughout with his own plate of residual mayhem, besides a debatable 1st round, News’ more consistent effort and versatility proved to be too much for Shotgun to take on in the latter rounds.

Verdict: Bad Newz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bad Newz – “Fuck ya squad, a bunch of fake Crips that backstab ya and switch friends, my team loyal, nothing’s uneven here, we split ends!”

E Ness defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Even with shorter rounds and better overall (“Broad daylight, let’s Tango and catch one to the head!”) bars, thanks to a first round choke and two slip-ups and an arguable choke in round 3, Shotgun Suge still manages to lose this matchup to the bar-deficient, but always (“One shot will flush his whole system like green tea!”) feisty and more performance-heavy E Ness.

Verdict: E Ness (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “A sharp rifle will split his tea, he don’t put no noise behind them words like Mr. Bean!”

Goodz defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Goodz, arguably the most dangerous 1-round opponent in battle rap, proves why again, beating back a ripping and pretty solid turn by Shotgun Suge with a variety of spicy/witty personals, flippant boasts, rich storytelling, piercing name flips/punchlines and stifling 4-bar-set-ups to win this Time Is Money battle.

Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Goodz – “My voice gets your bitch box wet, that’s why she checks my flow!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Tsu Surf

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Recap: WTF!?! After a near classic of a 1st round that saw both (“What y’all don’t know is Tsu Surf got him name from roller-blading, so you telling me you roller blade, moonwalk on skates and clap heat?!, nah that’s why I’m the shooter and driver, because Surf was always scared to get out the backseat!”) Shotgun Suge and (“Don’t ask me what my life like, nigga you already fucking know, savage shit, package flips, projects, pack of Crips, half a Grape, half a —, [bends down] on the knee with the .7…Colin Kaepernick!”) Tsu Surf bring their best heat and go toe-to-toe with hardbody punches, dizzing personals and sanguine gun bars throughout, out of nowhere Surf spoils this main event of a matchup by literally quitting on the battle in the 3rd round. Granted, from jump, there seemed to be plenty of tension (and a water bottle thrown from someone in Suge’s camp towards Surf’s entourage) on the stage what with two of New Jersey’s finest and former buddy’s going against each other after over a year of back and forth disrespect….bit still. Surf’s choice to chuck round 3 (after quitting halfway during a winnable 2nd round that had him seemingly hurting Shotgun’s feelings) was not only a huge let down, but was a serious disservice to himself, his opponent and most importantly of course, the fans.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge –  “He ain’t never did shit, he who murdering? How the fuck you making mixtapes about Newark and your hood in Irvington!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Brizz Rawsteen

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Recap: Shotgun Suge takes advantage of time limits (hey, if that’s what they agreed to beforehand then it is what it is) an elongated, but (“I got a new .40, the clip hanging out the butt like a tampon string!”; “Even though I still got the steel cocked, sometimes I just let it run across your mind like Jill Scott!”) sizzling a times (yet too one-dimensional) Brizz Rawsteen, makes more efficient use of his time with some wild (“He get this biscuit for free, it’s complimentary, I’ll follow him around, I’m shooting a documentary!”) haymakers throughout his three rounds that coupled with more consistently fiery bars and a versatile approach, gets Jersey the win.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Where I’m from this shit Afghani, Iraq, this shit Baghdad…bye Brizz [points finger like gun under Brizz’s chin] you a shot away from being a hashtag!”

Charlie Clips defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: A solid but sluggish start by Charlie Clips gets him edged in the first round before Shotgun Suge returns the favor with another raucous, but shortened turn that got beat back by Clips’ more measured and versatile run (tho, one could argue that he borrowed Suge’s ‘Willie Manchester’ bar) in the 2nd to even things out going into the 3rd round of this URL battle. By the time the final round ensued, the two top tier battlers had already delivered a grand palette of raucous heat, piercing punchlines/personals/name flips, witty barbs, a pocket tap by Suge and some wily/real talk schemes by Clips that had the crowd buzzing. Still, the 3rd round would serve as the best overall round of the battle with both emcees on their A-game all the while spouting consistent heat. And while Suge supplied to terrific effort for the win, Clips’ clever and witty ‘Shaq/Suge’ career scheme coupled with some sublime 4-bar set-ups and fiery punchlines…just killed it.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “My name is all over the place, every time you turn around it’s burning the ‘Net, one minute I’m the G.O.A.T then I’m trash, they asking how he earning the check, well I recycled against Big Kannon, my bad, now I guess I’m not earning respect, y’all gotta remember I’m Shang Tsung, I made a mistake and turned into Rex!”

MBD defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Under the radar intergender matchup between Shotgun Suge and West-coast spitter MBD fails to excite as after a solid (“I smack bitches…just to shoot they baby father’s!”) round 1, Suge’s heart just didn’t seem that into it. No fault to MBD who despite dishing mostly basic bars, stayed consistent with her flow, got in a ‘pocket check’ on her opponent, landed a couple of (“You in my backyard muthafucka, I could kill ya, shotgun staring at Suge like he looking in the mirror!”) haymakers and thanks in part to a 3rd round choke by Suge, did enough to earn the win.

Verdict: MBD (W) 2-1

Favorite line: MBD – “Those hollow tips may sting a little, make a big nigga fall, Suge be like ‘I got a gun so big’, the main nigga with a dick so small!”

John John da Don defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: In what one can guess was an attempt to make battle rap more mainstream, Poison Pen brings John John da Don and Shotgun Suge all the way to the West coast for a 3-round battle in front of a laidback crowd that didn’t seem well-versed in the genre. Still, JJDD and Suge put on good showing with plenty of witty personals, funny barbs, spirited schemes and resident gun lines that seemed to keep the audience’s attention throughout. Still, after splitting the first couple of rounds, it’s JJDD who proves to have more stamina, with a non-exciting, but much more clean and versatile round than his opponent.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 2-1

Favorite line: John John da Don – “You let Surf go to Detroit with a pistol, he could’ve got anyone clapped, so how you getting Dough boy in anyone’s trap, when Boyz in the Hood the last time we seen Shot gun have anyone’s back!”

Big T and Shotgun Suge [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Big T and Shotgun Suge do what a couple of vets should be able to do every time they battle: put on a consistent and highly entertaining show. And while the always performance-heavy T did falter a bit in the 3rd round, running out of steam with the punchlines and thus allowing Shotgun to come back for a draw with an electric, brazen, punch-heavy and steadily raucous turn. T’s ability to finesse real-life drama with whimsical rhymes, get savvy with the breakdown’s on his opponent’s style, deliver a gang of {“We all scheme…then I ride through New York, bang bang bang bang!, ’bout to blow New Jersey up!”) fiery punchlines/personals/name flips and even pull off doing a witty version the Cha-Cha just in case you underestimated him, allowed the Chicago battler to edge 2nd round after a spitfire (tho a bit lengthy) turn in the 1st that was equaled by roundhouse, mayhem-lit and condensed run by Suge. 

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Before you act hard, you better strap hard cause I attack hard,
I’m like Kimbo Slice in the backyard!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Ooops

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Recap: His opponent being well-known for elongated rounds, I’m guessing that Shotgun Suge knew what he was doing when he allegedly requested 90 second rounds here against Ooops. And while Ooops came through with another enlightening (“You telling niggas that you riding around with like 8 burners, and then you tell everybody like you beat like 8 murders, we don’t condone that Suge, I mean that don’t make you a real nigga, that’s real filler, you ain’t beat 8 murders, they just found the real killers”) 3rd round, that wasn’t enough to make up for a couple of slip-ups, but moreso Shotgun Suge’s copacetic (“40. hit him with a combination like a gym lock!”) gun bars, gripping personals and animated shit-talking in the first 2 rounds. In other words, looks like Suge played his cards just right.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “What your life like nigga? Ferguson? Protesting? Marching, you the show setter, I’m from Newark nigga, the cops? Know better”

Shotgun Suge defeats T-Top

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Recap: When it comes to Shotgun Suge, it’s never really been a question about his performance or his ability to ‘talk that shit’ that the so-called real street dudes love so much. Hell, independent of his renowned shock value bars, Suge can even hit the occasional haymaker or two. Instead with Suge his won-loss record has almost always relied on a combination of his motivation, delivery and consistency and too often he’s failed to deliver the three with any efficiency. Well, T-Top must’ve awoken to the real Gooch in Suge because after watching this battle I dare anyone to find a more sublime Shotgun. From jump, in what was expected to be a slugfest just on name alone, both Top and Suge came to kill. First round sees Top rip the stage with wild gun bars and fiending (“….leave a pudding cup and a note that say Cosby did it”) anecdotes. Only when he tried to personal, rehashing Suge’s Detroit adventures, did Top not hit quite as hard. For Suge, who usually does his best work in the first round anyway, the gameplan was about the bars matching the aggression/performance and on this night they (“I got the D, but I give him the Cal, headshot [points gun at Top’s head], make him sit Indian style”; “Bandana on the barrel, shit built like a Swiffer mop!”) certainly did…for all 3 rounds. Still, Suge’s overall showing doesn’t take away from Top’s at times fiery lyrical (“I’ll smack the shit out your bitch with a boat starter!”) aggression and potent punchlines, which edged him the 2nd round over a still persistently (“You’ze a fraud nigga, say that, the streets? we don’t know you, like the bitch that scream ‘Maybach’!”) nice Suge, who only got edged for keeping his round a little too short. Last round saw both battlers stay high off that dope shit. And while Top’s continual street (“I like to play laser tag, but with a gun clip”) tales and storytelling bars kept the crowd on edge, Suge did him one better stalking the stage with a highly (“Put needles in her body, but I ain’t a voodoo doctor!”) entertaining and versatile performance that not only kept the crowd open, but more importantly got him the win.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “She call me for the bricks, I pull up on her like a Uber driver, and tell her what to do with the work, like a supervisor”

Tech 9 defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Philly battle rappers been taking a lot of L’s in the ring lately so it’s good to see Tech-9 back in there upholding that gritty Brotherly love tradition. Here against Shotgun Suge, Tech spouts a barrage of no-nonsense bars and drops in a couple of head-ringing (“My block, crackheads and d-boys, Your block? Cisco’s and Leroy’s!”) haymakers to verify his elder statesmanship. His elongated round does contain some filler, but after a crazy (“Say cheese, the clip on the chopper look like a smiley face!”) start to his round, Suge trailed off too dramatically for any real chance at a win.

Verdict: Tech-9 (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tech-9 -“I do shit deliberately, on purpose, money hungry, for that lunch break, these twin 4’s be smoking together, they like co-workers”

Th3 Saga defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: “Look at me when I’m saving you!” It’s one thing for Th3 Saga to run circles around an opponent with fiery Christian testimonials/polemics, But add to the mix some palpable wit, spitfire punchlines, ill personals and ample wordplay, even if his rounds are often too long, it’s a very hard combo to beat. Such is the case here, in this Rookies vs. Vets matchup against the always aggressive Shotgun Suge. After a more performance-heavy and (“This ain’t OZ, I’ll bury Reverend Cloutier in the kitchen behind the wall!”) just-as-bar-proficient Suge ably takes the first round, Th3 Saga turns it up and gets downright resourceful with his darts, to the point of making a notable point concerning Suge’s habit of pocket-tapping: “What’s the point of tapping someone’s pocket if you don’t go in ’em?” Solid throughout, but hurt a bit by too many pedestrian religious barbs, an overkill on guns bars, his usual assortment of utter mayhem becoming a little redundant at times and a less-than-stellar “What’s Your Life Like?” turn, Suge for the latter two rounds anyway, just couldn’t keep up with Saga’s sterling comeuppance and more versatile palette.

Verdict: Th3 Saga (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Th3 Saga – “Everybody wanna talk about God…till they need him!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Reepah Rell

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Recap: With a style and flow reminiscent of Rum Nitty, Long Island’s Reepah definitely came with it in this one-round matchup against Shotgun Suge–delivering a litany of flavorful (“So what, you big and fat, whoopee, nigga I will still hurt you, I throw beats like Harpo, Suge been singing like a bitch, not cuz his Color Purple”) punchlines, name flips and working (“You a bully but got spazzed on by a white kid, soccer mom”) jabs handmade with consistent aggression. Indeed, what with Reepah spitting heat for more than half the battle, a minor upset was ready for the taking. Too bad on this day Suge clearly wasn’t having that as Jersey’s favorite bully worked his 3 minutes to startling effect: rambunctious (” You ain’t on my level, I don’t get battles because they think I’m a terrorist”) shit-talking, potent gun bars, grimy street (“He brown skin now, he gonna be laying in his casket looking like Gucci man”) chatter and groundbreaking haymakers with nary a slip-up to pull out a close one.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line:  Shotgun Suge – “I’m the type to hook a nigga if he slap box”

Shotgun Suge defeats Theory Truth

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Recap: Spitting fierce gun bars along with all-too-aggressive punchlines, Shotgun Suge has just enough left in his tank to outperform the fast-rap style and reflective (“Stop asking what’s life like if you ain’t living your dream”) stylings of Theory Truth.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite Line: Shotgun Suge – “My niggas will chase your gang around the city like the Warriors”

Shotgun Suge defeats T-Rex

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Recap: T-Rex AND UDubb can do better than this. I mean, the idea that a legendary battle rapper doesn’t spit a full round and is literally arguing onstage during a match with a league owner because he supposedly doesn’t know how many rounds he was supposed to spit or his opponent gets cut short during his round because of a supposed time limit (which he clearly didn’t break even if it was two minutes) just speaks to sloppy business practices. But then after the debacle that was his URL match versus Cortez, it’s Rex that will get most of the blame for this mess and rightfully so. Then too, since I’m of the opinion that spitting a mixtape verse is way better than choking, Rex could’ve been a professional, said ‘whatever’ and just spit another one for the sake of the fans and worked out whatever issues he had with Arsonal/UDubb later on behind the scenes. But he chose not to do so and while he still remains a legend, it’s still a knock to his mantle and another bad look for 2014. Either way, Shotgun Suge did nothing wrong here, kept spitting despite all the nonsense going on around him and earned the win with better overall bars regardless.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I’ll kill you and your son, any day, head shot, ‘cuz he a future snitch, anyway”

Charron defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Sorry Charron, tho you definitely got the win, this was not a 3-0 as Shotgun Suge had a pretty (“But fuck that, I step in his house like ‘Where the killers?’ [looks around] nah, I hit white boy family with the pounds like We’re the Millers”) mean, (“He want to rap. I need too”) real and (“What your life like nigga?, size 12 with a 13 cuz’ the snub don’t fit in the Tims”) gritty 3rd round. Still, despite the resident pocket-check and a nice 1st round by Suge, using plenty of self-deprecating jokes/anecdotes, easy rebuttals, hot (“I would be amazed if he put up a good fight, Chris Brown’s VMA’s, I’m fucking up Suge night [Knight}]”) bars, ill personals and dope  (“You haven’t been seen since you choked on Bill…Monica Lewinsky!”) one-liners, Charron uses his first URL appearance to take another off his Jersey hitlist.

Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charron – “You wanna bully a cracker, oh you thought were cool?, this is Columbine, a white boy’s taking a shotgun to school!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Jimz

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Recap: Jimz takes “unlimited” literally, Shotgun Suge doesn’t. So we’ll take it back to Math 101 and use the Quality Bars Per Minute (QBPM) rule to decide this one and Suge wins hands down with a better variety of haymakers, punchlines, jokes and personals without the filler.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I been shooting niggas before your mother started talking in English”

Shotgun Suge defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Synopsis: Good battle. And since Shotgun Suge didn’t choke or have any huge stumbles you can forgive him for pulling out the flip phone in round 2. Close throughout and both came with the bars (Suge: “I’m King Joffrey, I drop Rose before I take a step”; Rosenberg: “Catch him late night around 2:50 at the spot alone, he catching airtime like one of those Obama phones”), performance matched up and so did the aggression. However, while on bars alone I got the 1st round going either way, then Shotgun taking the 2nd and Raw taking the 3rd, Rosenberg hitting Shotgun on the tired drama that was Suge not showing up in Detroit a few years back and wasting bars on that bald guy in the crowd (while Suge went straight at Raw throughout), was to me the difference and edged it for Suge in the end.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “Go ‘head and win this battle if you good enough, but I’mma slap you if you choke nigga for fucking my footage up”

Street Money defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Let’s call this one what it is: Shotgun Suge dishing barely 3 minutes of raps for a 1-round battle and thus losing to a more prepared, gritty and punch-heavy Street Money on NOC Battles.

Verdict: Street Money (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Street Money – “I’m a stand-up nigga, I hit whoever…up…standing!”

Tycoon Tax defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Sometimes you can only blame yourself for losing and such is the case here as Shotgun Suge came with some serious (“I’m from Newark nigga, these weapons is real, this big fucking .40 expect it to peel, I hit his taco, expect it to spill, Chipotle, all on his Mexican grill”) bars and enough politically incorrect jokes to edge Tycoon Tax. But there’s just no way one can ignore Suge’s slip-ups in the first two rounds and choke in the 3rd. Thus, Tax gets the win, if for nothing else but flowing consistent throughout his rounds and providing enough bite to his (“I don’t care what set he claim when I load these clips, it’s the translator at the Nelson Mandela memorial, them signs you throwing up don’t mean shit”) bars, (“You lose every fucking battle, what got your ego popping?, you just another actor that died on Smack, Philip Seymour Hoffman”) personals and punchlines.

Verdict: Tycoon Tax (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Shotgun Suge – “What you worth to me? I know you ain’t get paid, cuz’ you’se a Mexican, you niggas damn near work for free”

Shotgun Suge defeats prez mafia

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Recap: Shotgun Suge spazzes (“I let five smack his face, we could slap box”) with nary a stumble to score a win over prez mafia who started strong, but tired quick towards the end of this one-rounder.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “You all the way fake, you ain’t just sorta fake”

Shotgun Suge defeats Lotta Zay

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Recap: South Jersey vs. North Jersey in this two-rounder from Block City featuring Shotgun Suge against Lotta Zay. Both went in, each bringing consistent heat, jokes and aggression, but Suge gets both rounds here with a better performance (“Fat nigga kick him all in his shit like Rikishi” with the legkick) bars, grittier wordplay and nicer punchlines. 

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “But you be acting like you wild or somethin’, nigga where you from the corner store like a mile or somethin'”

Bigg K defeats Shotgun Suge

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Round 1 Round 2 Round 3

Synopsis: Contrary to Bigg K’s earlier exclamation Shotgun Suge definitely came with bars, but too many stumbles didn’t give him a chance against an up-n-coming phenom like Bigg K who took this with relative ease.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 3-0

Best line: Bigg K – “I seen him tap Bill Collector’s pockets I said damn he vicious, come to find out he only tapped his pockets because he thought there was candy in it, let him try that shit with a gangster, a true to life lawbreaker, I got some candy in my pockets Suge…and it’s a jawbreaker”

Shotgun Suge defeats Bill Collector

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Synopsis: Might as well toss out all the rules of battling when it comes to these two as the tension and history between them only made sense for Bill and Suge to nearly come to blows here. But then Suge’s first round was extra fierce and might’ve been a certified classic if Earl hadn’t paid him a visit. All the while Bill Collector seemed to be worried about performance than bars all throughout his 3 rounds, easily giving Shotgun the win.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Best line:  Shotgun Suge – “You the type to get knocked out and blog about it like Joe Buddens”

Math Hoffa defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: “Bully” vs, “Bully”, just what the fans had wanted. But based on experience and lyrics alone did anybody really think Shotgun had a chance? Despite a couple of early stumbles Math’s consistent personals, aggression, jokes and of course, bars like that just did a number on an over-matched from jump Suge–who while not aware that Tupac was actually born in New York, came with typical aggression, delivery, shit-talking (“You think life’s a fucking joke nigga, you gon fuck around with them fuck arounds and fuck around and get smoked nigga”) and even some hot bars (“you gonna catch a nugget in New York like number 7 from the Knicks”). Still, Math’s fat jokes (“he talk about he the shooter and the driver, cuz can’t nobody else fit in the whip'”) and that real talk during Round 1 about how Suge almost got Arsonal and Surf killed in Detroit, was more than enough for Brooklyn to take home the trophy.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 3-0

Best line: Math Hoffa – “When Trick Trick stepped to Arsonal it was over you, if I was Surf I’d punch you in the face for what I’m gonna do, I guess this shit was overdue, a lesson learned for both of you, a shotgun does the most damage when it’s close to you”

Swave Sevah defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: With his size and girth it’s easy to see why Suge would choose the “bully” lane while battling. But putting aside what he’s really done (or not done) outside the battle arena, not showing up in Detroit a couple of years ago after that disrespectful and distasteful Proof diss was another huge stain on his battle career and even his ghetto pass. Thus, seeing Swave pull Shotgun’s bully card throughout this battle had to be a delight for anyone outside of Jersey.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Best line: TIE – Shotgun Suge: “Swave you came with those gargles like you ready for combat, no, you wear glasses because you scared of contact” and Swave Sevah – “I bet if he read something out loud it would make all us laugh, the type of nigga you text him right and he’ll call you back!”

Instant classic: Math Hoffa cutting through the crowd and coming out on stage after being called out by Suge.

Cortez defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: Nice of Suge to finally address the not-showing-up-in-Detroit situation here, but I don’t know if I buy his reasoning considering that it was he who started the whole mess in the first place (in NYC of all places). But back to the battle, which was really loud and vociferous, which is to be expected from a couple of pretty intense dudes. Despite slipping up (no, that’s not a choke ‘cuz a choke happens when you clearly forget your bars) in the 3rd round, I gave Cortez the edge because simply put overall he just out-barred Suge (esp. in Round 1), delivering fierce lines at Suge while holding his own in front of a hostile crowd. Of course, considering Cortez’s longtime experience and vet status over Suge, this battle probably shouldn’t have been as close as it was…but whatever.

Verdict: Cortez 2-1

Best line: Shotgun Suge – “I ain’t grading a paper when you see red on an essay (‘esai’)”

Tall T defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: For the most part choosing to shoot straight from the hip, Shotgun Suge’s usual assortment of bully bars and street (“These nigga’s call cops when that gat pop, YOU Google news on your laptop!”) bravado lack the wordplay, pizazz and variability that makes them kick, thus giving Tall T’s eccentric (“That’s ‘cuz he was born with the wrong chest!”) jokes, hitting personals and rich punchlines more than enough room to take this East-meets-West one-rounder from URL.

Verdict: Tall T (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tall T – “If he don’t die the first time I try to spray that nigga, I’ll give him one more shot…like I forgave that nigga!”

Midwest Miles defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Clearly inspired by Shotgun Suge’s brainless mention of late Detroit rapper Proof during Suge’s prior battle with Calicoe, an aggressive Midwest West turns up the heat with some brawny punchlines, well-timed wit and heated set-ups to easily take the first two rounds over Suge’s mostly pedestrian raps, win the battle and gain some get-back for his home city.

Verdict: Midwest Miles (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Midwest Miles – “People that followed him on Twitter, they’ve been fooled, ‘cuz they figured, this was the same nigga, from that movie ‘The Blind Side’!”

K-Shine defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: K-Shine puts together three consistent rounds of rapid heat, addressing Shotgun Suge’s issues with weight, flinging gun (“Call that .40 Lil Kim, it’s a wig rocker!”) bars with random ease and zipping up his opponent’s attacks with stinging (“…try to make a little movie like his career was pumping, but still ain’t get nowhere, he Gravy, playing BIG for nuthin'”) schemes, jokes and heavy wordplay. Credit Suge for staying close (“I’m from the South, I’m ’bout that, I’mma put on a show, keep playing the barrels is long nigga, Beef?, I come to this battle shooting everybody, even the wrong niggas”) the first couple of rounds, talking that real shit with an aggressive flow and Jersey anecdotes, but a somewhat surprising choke midway through his 3rd round cost him any chance of taking this one.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1

Favorite line: K-Shine – “He think he Big Meech! Larry Hoover! He holding heat! But he’s not the shooter”

Calicoe defeats Shotgun Suge

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Synopsis: To me, this is the road Shotgun Suge should’ve stayed on: spitting bars for pure shock value (“Beef? I’ll have Detroit looking like fuckin’ Port-au-Prince”) that other battle rappers probably wouldn’t even think of to say. That could’ve established Suge’s signature, given him a pedigree to build off of and maybe even make him more creative lyrically. Then too, I’m a believer that when it comes to battles, topic-wise nothing besides talking about people no longer living or a rapper’s kids, should be considered off-limits. That’s this battle will always be remembered for the way-over-the-top Proof (R.I.P.) bars, but besides that it was Suge’s steady aggression and scandalous bars that gave him round one. Yet it was Calicoe who stepped it up and out-barred Suge in rounds 2 and 3 to gain a close win.

Verdict: Calicoe (W) 2-1

Best line: Calicoe – “To hell is where these lames wanna send me, [but] with these 4-5’s I ain’t giving you change for a twenty”

Tay Roc defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Besides finding out that Shotgun Suge is a huge “In Too Deep” fan, this outdoor battle between Suge and Tay Roc doesn’t amount to much more than who can talk that real shit and spit potent, more authentic bars. Staying consistent while laying into Suge’s realness, Roc wins with a better overall delivery, (“You say you’ll eat me, rejected, not even if he had cheerleaders with him like B-E aggressive”) jokes, hard-hitting (“And since a nigga back on, tell him back off or I’ll put a nickle to him like a scratch-off”) bars and punchlines. Suge had some funny (“I wish I could pick the world up and drop it on his fucking head!”) lines and gutta bars, but too many movie couplets and filler eventually did him in.

Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I control the block, you got lookout status”

Shotgun Suge and Heartless [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: East-coast vs West-coast style clash between punchline/wordplay-feen (“When I start throwing bullets, nigger don’t think you can’t get open, so you better take a different route, or I’ll be in ya hood like LL, leave him with only one leg showing…while I shoot In The House!”) Heartless and an always about-that-action Shotgun Suge stays competitive throughout as both battlers stick with what they do best, while rarely missing a beat. A gritty and compelling battle that was enhanced by the small-room, crowd-right-up-on-you-to-taste-every-line atmosphere, a debatable 1st round followed by Heartless edging the 2nd round while Suge took the 3rd adds up a pretty succinct draw.

Verdict: TIE

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “So don’t say shit, ‘cuz I don’t play bitch, I got the same shottie that Willie Manchester knocked J-Rock over the gate with!”

Shotgun Suge defeats HollyHood

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Round 1 Round 2
Round 3  

Synopsis: If you’re somehow able to stay awake during HollyHood’s rounds, watch Shotgun Suge go off, grizzly bear mode while bullying his opponent with aggressive bar (including some hilarious tributes to Tupac in “Juice”) after bar. Needless to say Suge’s big ass pea coat and HollyHood have both been MIA ever since.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 3-0

Best line: Shotgun Suge – “Stab your mother in the voice box, now she talking with an auto tune”

Shotgun Suge defeats Buddy

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Recap: His flow remarkable and his bite mean, Shotgun Suge goes on a verbal (“This ain’t a battle, this a nightmare on Suge street!”) rampage against the oft-drab and freestyle-heavy Buddy, even threatening grandmothers on his way to earning an easy 3-0 win.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “Fight too much, my hands swollen, so I’m a grab the AA-12 and he can get picked first round, like Greg Oden!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Stats Money

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Recap: No one can dispute the fact that Shotgun Suge was aggressive and stayed talking that shit early in his rap battle career as seen here versus Philly’s Stats Money. As for the battle itself, it’s a wrap early on as Suge’s steady beastmode (“If you brave enough to die, then you brave enough to clap, if you brave to clap, get 30 dozens in your back!”) pathology proves to be way too much for Stats fast-rap speak and off-the-dome verbal kerfuffles.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “You soft like wet bread, come in your hood and your whole set dead, like 300!”

Shotgun Suge defeats D.P

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Recap: Pure utter mayhem, vengeance and retribution are the orders of the day as a punch-heavy Shotgun Suge leaves no stone unturned in this 3-round dismantling of a bar-prolific, but mostly pedestrian D.P.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “You faggot, you skittle, can you taste the rainbow!?”