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First Ladi Flamez defeats Fafi

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Recap: A rapidly punching, name-flip leaning Fafi makes things close, but in this competitive battle from Supreme Rap League, one too many pedestrian bars from the Brooklyn battler along with a more hard-hitting, condensed, bullish and personal First Ladi Flamez allows the Richmond, VA, spitter to take the first couple of rounds and gain the win.

Verdict: First Ladi Flamez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: First Ladi Flamez – “You the type of bitch to yell ‘Squad’ like them nigger’s go, my killers real, I don’t gotta yell, ‘Go!’ is all they know!”

Fonz defeats Osage

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Recap: Osage probably should’ve stuck with the animal bars he used aplenty early on in round 1. As afterwards, in this 3-round battle from Bar4Bar Battle League, Fonz’s fiery punches/schemes and wily personals, a problem for his opponent throughout the bout, would easily prove to be tough enough to outscore The WillDaBeast’s more abstract raps in both of the latter rounds.

Verdict: Fonz (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Fonz – “Play goofy with Fonz and I’m a leave you on some vegetable shit, let that snub nose rub him out liek an Eskimo kiss!”

Mackk Myron defeats Tone Montana

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Recap: Mackk Myron’s heated punches, steely name flips and bouyant set-ups combined with a mostly pedestrian Tone Montana make for an easy 30 for the Team Homi spitter, who may’ve also benefited a little bit from his opponent letting a restless crowd wanting or expecting better competition.

Verdict: Mackk Myron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Mackk Myron – “Well, let him know I keep a nina as a weapon, another nina, it’s kicking like Nina off of Tekken!”

JC defeats B. Magic

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Recap: Gorilla Warfare battle between JC and B-Magic stayed competitive with the two splitting the first couple of rounds. But Magic, who’d already served up more than enough JC ‘pop-locking’ references/bars in the match, would not only continue with more of the same silly personals in the deciding 3rd, but also deliver a shortened and mediocre turn that when faced against a stellar and punch-heavy round by JC, handily cost him the bout.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “You gonna die from two Yak nigga’s clearly, it ain’t for the fans to decide, ‘cuz you got killed by Will [wheel] like Brandy was driving!”

Tycoon Tax defeats Shotgun Suge

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Recap: Sometimes you can only blame yourself for losing and such is the case here as Shotgun Suge came with some serious (“I’m from Newark nigga, these weapons is real, this big fucking .40 expect it to peel, I hit his taco, expect it to spill, Chipotle, all on his Mexican grill”) bars and enough politically incorrect jokes to edge Tycoon Tax. But there’s just no way one can ignore Suge’s slip-ups in the first two rounds and choke in the 3rd. Thus, Tax gets the win, if for nothing else but flowing consistent throughout his rounds and providing enough bite to his (“I don’t care what set he claim when I load these clips, it’s the translator at the Nelson Mandela memorial, them signs you throwing up don’t mean shit”) bars, (“You lose every fucking battle, what got your ego popping?, you just another actor that died on Smack, Philip Seymour Hoffman”) personals and punchlines.

Verdict: Tycoon Tax (W) 2-1

Favorite line:  Shotgun Suge – “What you worth to me? I know you ain’t get paid, cuz’ you’se a Mexican, you niggas damn near work for free”

Drugz defeats Teak

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Recap: In this close 1-rounder from Bar Bendas Rap Battle League, the bullish punches from Teak (who gets credit here for barely using a name flip–an all-too-common occurrence when it comes to Drugz) validates a competitive bout. But with a consistently torrid and spicy turn of piercing punchlines and shrewd set-ups to go along with some fire wordplay, it’s Drugz who gets the edge here.

Verdict: Drugz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Drugz – “No leg shots, only the top’s getting filled in like I forgot my password!”

DNA defeats Ill Will

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Synopsis: DNA got this, but this definitely wasn’t a body as Ill Will more than represented (esp. in the 3rd) with his usual aggression, real talk and potent bars in front of a clearly biased crowd. Still, knowing full well the kind of arsenal DNA is equipped with (rebuttals, crowd control, quality bars, schemes, personals, freestyles and a rare ability to match almost anyone’s style), the idea that DNA would go as an underdog against any non-top tier battle rapper is just plain ass-backwards. No need for motivation tho, the kid is just gifted like that (despite reppin’ Queens while wearing a Brooklyn Nets shirt). And he showed it from the off-the-top butchery (“I’m glad you got the kush on ya shirt cuz’ we’d (weed) smoke you”) to mean haymakers (“…like the last Ill Will you gonna’ die under a Queens nigga'”) that’ll have you pressing the rewind button. It’s what he does.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Best line: DNA – “And I’m still looking, like what your crew gonna do? You got your man, I got my gun, let’s have a 2-on-2”

Shotgun Suge defeats prez mafia

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Recap: Shotgun Suge spazzes (“I let five smack his face, we could slap box”) with nary a stumble to score a win over prez mafia who started strong, but tired quick towards the end of this one-rounder.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “You all the way fake, you ain’t just sorta fake”

Genesis Trez defeats Jorilla G

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Recap: Besides a couple of unintentionally funny sounds and barks from Jorilla G, there really wasn’t much to see here as both Jorilla and the man formerly known as Genesis Trez kicked a wide load of very basic and subpar bars throughout this 3-rounder from BYOB. Still, it’s the eternally gun bar blasting Trez, while failing to really spout anything substantive round 3, who gets away with a 30 thanks to an underwhelming effort that happened get matched with an even worse one.

Verdict: Genesis Trez (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Genesis Trez – “When it comes down to it, y’all squeeze off hammers?, please dog can it, ‘cuz I got police dogs cannons, K’s, 9’s, spit and kick crazy like retard tantrums!”

JC defeats Scotty

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Recap: A lot of gassin’ for the hometown spitter (“He tried to run, well that was a no go, I stretch the back of his head like the Patriots logo!”) Scotty and a slightly close 2nd round, but other than that JC’s usual assortment of exquisite wordplay, righteous name flips and at times fanatical (“Fuck is you fooling?, you don’t let off one pump, every cartridge that come with your gun…say Duck Hunt!”) gun bars does the job and it’s yet another win for the kid from Yak-town.

Verdict: JC (W) 3-0

Favorite line: JC -“A shot to the back will make his heart go out to his family…,my condolences!”

Caustic defeats Aye Verb

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Synonym: Sorry, but as long as Aye Verb’s been in the game he has no business complaining about time to prepare for a battle, much less choking. Not that any of that mattered anyway, as Caustic, with a busload of elite bars, jokes (that Shotgun Suge line was hilarious), personals and wicked freestyles, was well on his way to a victory anyway. Hopefully, Verb got a nice paycheck for just showing up….literally.

Verdict: Caustic (W) 3-0

Best line: Caustic – “I mean this dude’s trippin’ like I can’t bag his broad cuz’ I’m white, until I put a cracker in her mouth like I’m the body of Christ”

JC defeats Mic Phelps

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Recap: Definitely not on his A-game, but in this 3-rounder from MIRAP TV JC doesn’t need much more than his usual assortment of fiery punchlines, residual mayhem, otherworldly chatter and in this case, a gang of witty hairline jokes to beat back a rapidly punching, but mostly mediocre and freestyle-heavy effort from Mic Phelps.

Verdict: JC (W) 3-0

Favorite line: JC – “See my reign for the world, I get biblical, cut him off as soon as he get here…umbilical!”

B. Dot defeats Dezzyk

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Recap: AHAT 3-rounder between B. Dot and Deezyk turns out to be mostly one-sided as the mayhem-dishing Dezzyk, while scoring here and there in the early rounds, didn’t gave enough steam to keep up with a solid-punching, wordplay-nifty and personal-savvy Dot’s more potent rhymes.

Verdict: B. Dot (W) 3-0

Favorite line: B. Dot – “Dezzyk, you putting in work?, that gotta be minimum wage!”

Aye Verb defeats Swave Sevah

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Recap: Lame battle gets what it deserves with a wack crowd that seemingly couldn’t wait for it to be over with. Can’t blame them what with Aye Verb spending half his time telling sordid battle rap tales and Swave Sevah just coming off unmotivated while spitting generic bars he could write in his sleep. Give this one to Verb for putting on a better overall performance and for flexing that MC Hammer jacket.

Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “Karate only works on niggas that do karate”

Young X defeats Saint Mic

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Synopsis: Dope battle and who knew they battle rapping out in Nebraska? Still, Young X got this with a slew of haymakers in rounds 1 (“When it’s war you be on that ‘Yo dog, let me out'”) and 2 (“You stupid as fuck if you think I ain’t spraying, I’m about as hungry as those kids on commercials with Amazing Grace plans”) along with performance bars, mean schemes and tremendous wordplay. Saint Mic came with it in round 3, but by then it was too late.

Verdict: Young X (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Saint Mic – “Nigga, you are Charlie Murphy, straight darkness!”

Prep defeats D.O.T.

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Recap: “Everything fire”!!! More of that dope PG shit from the class of 2014. Prep vs. Dot and it’s entertaining all throughout with performance bars, schemes (Dot’s Jordin Sparks scheme was fire), crazy wordplay, personals, name flips, jokes (Prop suggesting Dot be a mime was over-the-top theater) the whole nine. But it’s Prep who edges it here, not counting Dot’s reaches (I double-checked, “matics” is not a word and the “umbrella” to “baretta”?! Really???), his delivery and execution were just more consistent. And while Dot came with plenty too, I thought Prep just outnumberd him on the hot (“OK we both PG’s but this is my stage, so play your position.or it’ll be Deron Williams, a PG from Brooklyn that got 8 [ate]”) bars and haymakers.

Verdict: Prep (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Dot – “I got coke in my ass crack, give me that drug walk”

Mackk Myron defeats Chozsin

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Recap: Way better with the wit (which were few and far between) than spitting fire bars, Chozsin wilts in the face of a barrage of spitfire punchlines, witty personals and gritty wordplay from Mackk Myron..

Verdict: Mack Myron (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Mack Myron – “Him beating me, a dog with his balls clipped, that’s new to me!”

B. Magic defeats Rum Nitty

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Synopsis: If you’re looking for a total barfest, then you’ve got one here as B. Magic faces a budding version version of himself in a game and able Rum Nitty. I got Magic edging the first two rounds only for outnumbering Nitty on the haymakers (“And yett yett, I show out (ShowwOutt) with the nina’s nigga, and let, let my Hitman do the remix nigga”), while Nitty took the 3rd easy when you take in account his stream of elite bars (“Dome shot, close your casket, it’s over Magic, get close and pull this nickle behind your ear, don’t make me show you Magic”) combined with Magic’s slip-up. Not only does it not get much better than this, but can we please see Nitty in the URL?

Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1

Best line: B. Magic – “Ain’t no bitches around here, you get the picture?, when you get wet with the calico (Calicoe) it ain’t skinny-dipping”

Bedaffi Green defeats Barrz McVay

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Recap: The unorthodox verbiage of Barrz McVay hits with some witty shiners here and there, but overall, a mostly average palette holds little ground against Bedaffi Green’s more intricate punches, stinging name flips and gritty wordplay.

Verdict: Bedaffi Green (W) 3-0

Favorite line:  Bedaffi Green – “Act hard and get choked before you start your car, feet dragging, it look like Smokey trying to park the car!”

Steams defeats Anubis

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Recap: Can a PG rapper actually face and beat a top tier before he starts talking reckless about one? I’m just saying. Anyway, good battle, but Steams outnumbered Anubis (loved that “your big bitch ass ain’t real like you sitting on a sink” line tho) on the execution, delivery, punches as well as the wordplay throughout all 3 rounds to earn the win.

Verdict: Steams (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Steams – “If he move, I got under the knee tools, the shit I lick-a come from the bootleg like cheap booze”

Eazy The Block Captain defeats DB

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Recap: Unbothered by the aggressive, mayhem-lit but at times witty punches from DB, Eazy The Block Captain uses a gang of piercing punchlines, some nifty wordplay and fiery gun lines/schemes to take all 3 rounds of this 3-rounder brought to you by Battle Rap Arena.

Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “His death was already written so this a closed chapter!”

Couture defeats Norma Bayts

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Recap: Versus the aggressive, trap talking and hardbody stylings of Norma Bayts, Couture still doesn’t hold back, using a boatload of piercing punchlines, stinging personals, flexing schemes, fierce name flips and because it wouldn’t be a Couture battle without some props, a couple of homies to parrot a sizzling horror movie narrative in round 3 that capped off a 30 versus an opponent who’s gritty, but long-winded rounds weren’t helped by a gang of weak personals.

Verdict: Couture (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Couture – “You probably walk through the Bronx Zoo and get sedated by mistake!”

Marv Won defeats Amazin

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Recap: The inconsistent knapsack raps of Amazin prove to be little match for the fierce punchlines and wily personals of MarvWon in this one-rounder from Infamouz Battles.

Verdict: MarvWon (W) 1-0

Favorite line: MarvWon – “Say my name, I’m popping up everywhere, like somebody sung the State Farm jingle!”

Chilla Jones defeats Daylyt

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Synopsis: Sometimes it’s not a matter of who lost, but who won. Such is the case here with this classic barfest between Chilla Jones and Daylyt–simply put as terrific as both emcees were, it all comes down to who dropped more haymakers. The edge goes to Chilla, from the crazy “Watch with the level I’m on, clear plane escalator, you can’t move me with long stares [stairs]) line to this gem (with Method Man literally in the building): “That’s cause she gave Ghost, face and blew Meth like Heisenberg”, it’s just rare to see Chilla waste lines. And Daylyt, who has long proven that he can match anyone lyrically (when he’s not beholden to antics), was as impressive as he’s ever been, dropping bombs like “And I rely my babe cuz she a cap and wild gunner, she’ll close her eyes, point the deuce at the ring like Pacquiao’s mama” and “If I chase a nigga’, back break a nigga’, funeral homes, box rake a nigga, you get the open hand, the fist or the deuce, rock, paper, scissors” that would’ve had any other battle rapper take his mike off and call it quits. But this was Chilla Jones, a wordplay artist and scheme king, who unless he produces that rare slip-up (vs. B. Magic) or you’re somehow able out-bar him (JC), your chances of winning are slim to none. I got Jones taking the 1st and 3rd with Daylyt taking the 2nd. Such a classic battle, does it even matter who won?

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1

Best line: Chilla Jones – “It’s cuz’ you snitchin’, so to pigs I’m sinning, you sendin’ info so now y’all all fucked, it’s like I’m sendin’ nympho’s”

Cali Smoov defeats Jenezyz Da Hitman

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Recap: One of the best Cali Smoov’s you’ll ever see as the West-coast rapper visits Philadelphia to battle Jenezyz Da Hitman and uses an uber-confident, aggressive and consistently fire flow of wicked punchlines, systematic name flips, stinging wordplay and ringing personal to easily beat back his mostly subpar opponent and take this 1-roudner from AHAT.

Verdict: Cali Smoov (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Cali Smoov – “Nigga, test me, it’ll be Pepsi how the can blew [blue], it’s like sign language I don’t talk to these niggers…my hands do!”

Presidential Dubz defeats Cream

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Recap: Upping his wordplay potency, gun bar acumen and punchline game in the latter two rounds, Presidential Dubz gets some payback for his Cake Lyfe team with this win over Cream, who after a thunderous 1st round, fell victim to too many shots at Steams, a boatload of pedestrian bars and of course, his opponent’s rapid fire heat.

Verdict: Presidential Dubz (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Presidential Dubz – “I’m the reason that you on nigga, my flow failed you, you don’t believe it?, cream equals money, what’s that?, President’s, without me, Cream got no value!”

Ill Will defeats Sno

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Synopsis: Ill Will will never make an easier $10K in his life. I mean, what a time for Sno (who I was never really that impressed with from jump) to put in his worst performance: filler upon filler, tired “I fucked ya bitch” bars, inconsistent lines and basement bars. All the while the black guy from Yak-town was just put on another dope show with black history bars, biting personals and that real shit (“You from da Yac….I Am That!!!!”) that makes ya mouth water. As much as Swizz Beats (or anyone for that matter) should never be allowed to judge a battle by himself ever, ever again….Will’s beast mode vs. Sno not showing up made it an easy decision.

Verdict: Ill Will (W) 3-0

Best line: Ill Will – “But I can make a nasty scene, cum on your sister’s face and tell her it’s acne cream”

DNA defeats prez mafia

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Recap: Up until prez mafia stumbled in the 3rd round, I thought this battle was pretty close as prez’s personals, angles and flat-out bars were an even match for DNA’s performance, jokes and freestyles. But then the 3rd round came and while prez continued to hold his own despite the stumble, DNA just straight-up spazzed with freestyles, rebuttals and stellar (“You tried to look good against KG in Brooklyn, but you ain’t have enough power for it [power forward]”) lines that reminded everyone who the seasoned vet was in the building. All in all, still a dope battle.

Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1

Best line: prez mafia – “Nigga I’ll run up on Clips with a big plate, (makes eating noise) eat that shit in front of him then switch plates”

Bender defeats Big T

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Synopsis: Close battle throughout, both played to their noted skills, but with all other categories not really coming into play, I thought overall that Bender just had the hotter bars.

Verdict: Bender (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bender – “Just because you built like the Kool-Aid man doesn’t mean you’re running through bricks”

Chess defeats Big Trap

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Recap: Who ate more? The decision here is Chess with a more consistent flow, better wordplay, dope performance (“…cuz’ to win y’all get bodied together, y’all Siamese for real!”) bars, nice personals and a couple of haymakers thrown in just in case you’re having a hard time subtracting the difference. Still a good one-rounder tho between the kid and Big Trap.

Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chess -“Think Deebo, he act hard, but we all know he Tiny in real life”

Nunn Nunn defeats Blitzen

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Recap: Versus a speedy flow and what sounded like mostly mixtape bars from (“Fuck outta here, I body cats and I don’t give a shit about your sloppy Shotty Horror act!”) Blitzen, Nunn Nunn’s spitfire bars and exquisite (“But you’ll die, trying to be fly, when I air hearts like Amelia!”) wordplay prove to be more than good enough to take rounds 1 and 3 for the win.

Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “Quit lying like you in the streets doing work son, you a blister, you pop up when the work’s done!”

Mo Mula defeats Aslan

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Recap: Easy win for Mo Mola as Aslan’s clear lack of wordplay and love for nursery rhymes serves as no match to the Bronx kid’s confident flow which was matched by a steady stream of perfunctory punches and nice performance bars.

Verdict: Mo Mula (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Mo Mula – “Been dogging these bitches, I should be sponsored by Petco, switch blade to ya neck, I could give a nigga strep throat…or I could give ’em a buck-fifty like he only had a dollar on his Metro!”

Arsonal defeats Yung Ill

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Synopsis: Funny to see two vets who have been in the game so long that you would’ve sworn they’d been battled each other by now. But either way, a decent battle nonetheless (despite the wack headsets), that could’ve been so much better if Arsonal wasn’t always so hellbent on continuing to prove to everyone that he can out rap anyone and Ill was just more consistent. Sure, Ill used some old angles against Ars, but for the most part they worked and I’m all for props (as long they’re used right), but Ill didn’t stay on teh ghey angle long enough.. However, Ill knew who he was up against and after taking round one (thanks to, as usual, too much filler from da Rebel) Ars easily took the second with nice personals on Ill’s battle with his demons (“He ain’t got 5 cents to put cheese on a waffle, but got all the right tools to feed his addiction”) while just snapping in round 3, getting straight ig’nant with the rebuttals and killing it with tha “I might even change a diaper or two if I like the bitch, then pick her up and scream touchdown Cowboys!!! and spike the bitch” set up. Jersey.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Best line: Arsonal – “You St.Louis’ Star Smilez, you anotha pussy that Rex ate!”

Sno defeats KG the Poet

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Recap: Having already beaten Sno and with a chance to face Ill Will for $10K on the line, KG the Poet couldn’t have picked a worse time to frequently (tho he had more haymakers) stumble as he does here during rounds 1 and 3 of this UFF semifinal matchup. That, combined with Sno’s consistent aggression, wild storytelling (“You already know how a Rocksta does, I ain’t gotta pop at cha to make ya popular, if ya cross me you’ll bent out of shape like a swastika”) bars, wordplay and wicked schemes does him in, in what was otherwise a pretty close battle..

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Favorite line: KG the Poet – “This battle’s more lopsided than a bad boob job”

Brizz Rawsteen defeats Show Off

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Synopsis: In this PG matchup between Brizz Rawsteen and Show Off, Brizz boasts the versatility with exquisite bars (“It’s ’bout to get live as shit, what I’m giving you ain’t a compliment, I’ll split your frame and take you outta the picture without cropping it”), nice schemes.and a top-notch performance to match. It’s a new jack primer that deftly displays who’s ready for the big stage and who (consider Show Off’s choke in round 2) isn’t quite there yet.

Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “His last battle he had on leather pants with zippers and leather sleeves, looking like he argue with bitches over who got the better weave”

True Maserati defeats Ddub

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Recap: After the two split a couple of gritty, personal/witty at times and street-centric rounds, a more hardbody and gripping 3rd by True Maserati gets him the win over Ddub in this altogether close 3-rounder from We Go Hard.

Verdict: True Maserati (W) 2-1

Favorite line: True Maserati – “What you know about running nigga’s pockets because you hungry and want it all?, nigga’s ain’t have shit so you smacked them ‘cuz you wanted more!”

A-Ssassin defeats Dre Dennis

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Recap: Credit to Dre Dennis who apparently took this battle at the last minute and despite a couple of slip-ups, still impressed with atypical rambunctious (“Conclusion, I got a body before the intro, I came to do this esai [essay] wrong!”; “Now I’m strapped up in New York like Ray Felton!”) bars that melded well with rich performance lines. Still, a better prepared and steady confident A-Ssassin uses some fledging wordplay, nice (“Wanna scrap?, yet we can go out side like old-school hats!”) angles/punchlines and surefire (“…run up on Clips with these clips just to steal his rhymebook, that’s what I call going scheme for schemes”) schemes to hold on for the win in this one-rounder from the Trap House.

Verdict: A-Ssassin (W) 1-0

Favorite line: A-Ssassin – “This battle rap is like crack to the fans, tell the top tiers this how you treat your feens better…in the fastest way, bar after bar after bar after bar like alcoholics on St. Patrick’s Day!”

Ha Double defeats Statz G

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Recap: Statz G and Ha Double get a lot off their chest in this close and competitive battle from Houston Bar Code. After Statz’ edges the first round with a stronger showing filled with braggadocio bars, gritty gun lines and potent (“…I should blast two in you, it look good on the screen, but in person it ain’t the same, he like that new item on the fast food menu!”) punchlines/personals, Ha comes back with a more pronounced, personal-laced and (“I think out of space, give his soul a AR [solar] and let these bullets orbit in his system!”) wordplay-heavy turn in the 2nd to beat back a less stirring and elongated round from Statz. Going into the final round tied, both battlers push their pen and let it all hang out. However, after starting out with a nice rebuttal, Ha Double edges the round and the battle with another personal-themed turn that highlighted by fiery schemes, fiesty/witty struggle bars and pointed, performance-heavy punches.

Verdict: Ha Double (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ha Double – “See, this is real shit, ain’t nuthin’ to be amused with, ‘cuz the money we got off the shit we stole, we used that to hit the studio and do music…so alladat, what you know about this, what you know about…nigga you don’t know about what you know about!”

Born defeats Cityy Towers

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Recap: Very close battle between Born and Cityy Towers, but Born edges it with more equipped angles: jokes (the “I can finally make short jokes” lines worked), slightly better punchlines, wordplay, grittier bars, name flips and schemes.

Verdict: Born (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Born – “I pop the ratchet like Billie Ray Cyrus”

YaBoyClip defeats Dre Dennis

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Recap: Bar-for-bar it’s pretty even in this 3-rounder between (“Just know this Mister will Son like Dennis the Menace!”) YaBoyClip and (“I am Legend, I Will Smith, all I got is my dogs!”) Dre Dennis. But Clip’s avalanche of fiery schemes along with a heavy bout Earl-itis by Dre Dennis throughout the battle makes the difference and gives YaBoyClip the 3-0 on the road.

Verdict: YaBoyClip (W) 3-0

Favorite line: YaBoyClip – “But you see that I’m Blind Fury to the fact that it seems absurd, sign language how my hands can exchange with words!”

KG The Poet defeats Danny Myers

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Synopsis: Absolute barfest with a killer first round by Danny Myers (“I knew this would be a cold war, so after I spy I’m rushing [Russian] to wherever KG Be”) that had me thinking there was no way KG The Poet could stand a chance. But KG would prove me wrong, equaling Myers in wordplay, aggression and of course, bars: “Show me where you got that bread at, like you did with M. Ciddy, comparing the cash, kick in the door, spark it at your mouth, my niggas march in [martian] in the house like American Dad”. After straight spazzing in round 1, you’d expect them to both have to bring it down a notch in the middle round, but Danny, despite his best (“I’ll punch you in your face 7 times, it’s gonna be hella wounds bro, you ain’t gonna understand all these bad bitches like Telemundo”) lines, still didn’t have enough to take the lead on the consistently nice “I got a pair of .25 ACP’s, a shot to the face or stomach he dies, I named them Mary-Kate and Ashley watch these twins raised in front of his eyes!”) KG. With a win still on the line in round 3, while Danny still came with it (“I am the manifestation of the Annunaki in human form”) there was just a little too much filler to keep up with KG’s numerous heavy bars, wordplay and personals: “And you wonder why your baby mama ain’t giving her vagina, it’s cuz’ while you out here whining and fussing, she out there grinding and sucking, I bust in her face took an Instagram pic, no filter…”

Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Danny Myers – “I keep a ratchet like I’m not attracted to bitches with goals”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Rap Guru

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Recap: Not much to see when it comes to haymakers in this pretty mediocre 2-round battle between Nu Jerzey Twork and Rap Guru. But with the unintentionally funny, but pretty serious when it comes to spitting that O.G. talk Rap Guru rhyming twice as long as his opponent in both rounds (while not saying much), even a mostly average punching and nimbly scheme-throwing Twork can slip by with a win.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “I don’t care what Jim carry [Carrey], I’ll still have fun dick’n Jane!”

Tink Tha Demon defeats Hue Hef

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Recap: It’s another day at the office for Tink Tha Demon whose ‘6 Million Ways I Could Kill You’ (“Boxcutter to your face like I’m ripping carpet!”) ethos makes quick work of a simply outclassed Hue Hef.

Verdict: Tink Tha Demon (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Tink Tha Demon – “I’ll knife your name in bubble letters across your chest and rip the meat out!”

John John da Don defeats T Top

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Synopsis: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when John John da Don isn’t stealing bars or continuing to use Serius Jones’ old-as-hell “Multiple Choice” scheme, he’s one of the nicest battle rappers out there, good comp. for just about anyone out there including top tiers. That said JJDD proved my point here (tho he did swipe that opening from O-Red), with a versatile array of personals, solid (those “Popeye’s” line was nice!) schemes, jokes and dope punchlines. Indeed, his experience came through here and it had to because a game T Top gave just as well as he took, only losing points for too many “Trap” bars and trying to use the “multiple choice” back on JJDD. Good battle nonetheless.

Verdict: John John da Don (W) 1-0

Favorite line: “It ain’t a hard choice, you want to earn all coffins, but since they riding with the dead we brought hearses for all of ’em, and when these shells get to bursting upon him, I’ll have his brains hanging out like they ain’t gotta work in the morning”

Chess defeats Reepah Rell

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Recap: Oversaturated with too many standard name flips/young’un lines as well as listless bars, while (“Your name Chess, you should know tonight, move with L’s!”) lit at times, overall Reepah Rell just can’t keep up with Chess’ more bountiful barrage of aggressive urban hijinks, a potent body scheme and cogent (“Hold the phone, I’ll let it ring even if it’s uncalled for!”) wordplay in this one-rounder from Colosseum Battle League.

Verdict: Chess (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chess – “He think he a G, ummm he getting chewed…WinterFresh!”

Show Off defeats Dre Dennis

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Recap: Despite a couple of early skip-ups, Dre Dennis does show that he has some bars, but even without the fumbles no way he beats Show Off’s triple latte of dope schemes, fiery punchlines and personals here.

Verdict: Show Off (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Show Off – “Fat nigga, lift pounds off that waist, that’s a diet plan, no y’all ain’t catch it that’s my lingo, if I lift pounds off the waist and he die, it’s planned”

J-Krooger defeats Dre Dennis

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Recap: Way more intricate and shrewd with the punchlines, boasts and mayhem, but also helped by a Dre Dennis who had one too many random shots at his opponent’s girl when he wasn’t resorting to redundant gun bars and schemes, outside of a debatable 2nd round, J-Krooger elicits more than enough consistent heat to take this fiery 3-rounder from Frontline Battle League.

Verdict: J-Krooger (W) 2-1

Favorite line: J-Krooger – “You said I couldn’t win here, well today we gonna see, Dre got it backwards, you going in the ER, D!”

Brooklyn Carter defeats Bonus

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Recap: Another one of those 1-round battles that should’ve been a 3-rounder as Brooklyn Carter and Bonus kept it live, bar-heavy (Bonus: “Speaking of black halls let me pitch this lesson, you act like you out of this world with a Smith-n-Wesson, that .22 I said you had? You need a different weapon, try to ring me with that and get a ring back while I get a star 67”; Brooklyn Carter: “Niggas upper half be tough but they moves fishy, you’ze a Merman”) and competitive throughout their rounds. However, edge here goes to Carter for slightly better wordplay, more variety and nicer storytelling bars

Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “After I earth you I’m with the bitch who birthed you, she could get murked too, they gonna have to pull your mother out the sofa…like the Old Spice commercial”

Bigg K defeats Thesaurus

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Synopsis: Thesaurus’ trite and predictable style proves no match for Bigg K’s raucous and eccentric banter (hey, K’s confidence has grown to the point where he’s even dropping rebuttals). And while one can certainly appreciate Thesaurus’ perennial love for battle rap, he seriously needs to update his rap flow (did he really say ‘He gonna coach the Hit Squad if we catch K solo’ in round 1???….yes, he did) if he’s gonna stand a chance against these hungry yung’un’s in 2014.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1 

Best line: Bigg K – “I will bag Thesaurus like Barnes and Nobles”

Syahboy defeats Neeq

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Synopsis: Ummm….no contest here. As Syahboy brings that cocky, Rich Dollaz-type heat (when Richie actually showed up to battles) and takes Neeq out to pasture with bars, jokes (“I see ya’ bitch I’m straight dot mobb, I’m ass grabbin'”), schemes and a superb performance. Not a body tho, what with Neeq (between a whole lotta filler) actually having some lines (“Contract killer, I put money on every hit like Pete Rose, but this an old-school ass-whupping like when ya’ mama caught you playing in your street clothes”) and Syahboy clearly stumbling towards the end of his round, but still an easy win nonetheless.

Verdict: Syahboy (W) 1-0

Best line: Syahboy – ” I don’t like talking, I should’ve killed this nigga at the chit-chat club”

Lotta Zay defeats Luciano Crakk

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Recap: Lotta Zay matches his swag with 3 consistently dope rounds filled with nice schemes (the Camp Lo couplets worked), crisp punchlines and lively wordplay to score an easy victory over an earnest, but unfocused Luciano Crakk.

Verdict: Lotta Zay (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Lotta Zay – “You think you designed for the crime life, really? you in my hindsight, hear me, this is how we equal out, me putting a two to this emcee like it’s Einstein theory”

Holmzie da God defeats Johnny Mel

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Recap: While freestyling may be a lost art, in this day and age of battle rap being 99% dependent on written’s, unless you’re on the level of an Eyedea (RIP), there’s really no sense in going into a battle using mostly quasi-lame freestyles, as Johnny Mel does here, unless you’re just showing off or you’re really not that serious about a battle rap career. One gets the feeling that both happened here, enabling Holmzie da God, dispensing swift and heated punches, ill gun bars along with some nice schemes, to score an easy 3-0.

Verdict: Holmzie da God (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Holmzie – “Why the fuck y’all put this church boy in front of a sinner and why the fuck do white people where shorts in the winter?!”

Chef Trez defeats Hitz

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Recap: T-Top is your host, the 3rd round seems to be missing and Hitz bullies his way into going first, but none of that matters as Chef Trez’s jaunty performance bars and feening wordplay are more than enough to take the two rounds seen here.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez -“You a bully right, well try something, I’m that quiet kid in Science, but I bet you ain’t know I got of chemistry and gripping [grip in] iron!”

Sno defeats Danny Myers

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Synopsis: Sno’s repeated bars on how he’ll do your girl or your mama or your sister or whoever are definitely wearing thin, but he shines with enough performance, gun bars (that Johnny Cage scheme in Rd. 1 was nice!) and schemes that make you get past the fact that most of his bars are pretty average. And while Danny Myers had a lot more variety to his bars, too much filler and too many slip ups cost him any chance of winning.

Verdict: Sno (W) 2-1

Best line: Sno – “Her pussy don’t even get that wet, but I’ll knock down her dry wall like I’m working construction”

prez mafia defeats Took

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Recap: Took had some nice (“Obama college picture, Prez getting smoked”) bars, but a couple of stumbles and some nonsensical lines cost him bad against a prez mafia who was cooking heat throughout.

Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1

Favorite line: prez mafia – “Nigga straight away, you’ll see a A R down a one-way and I don’t expect you to get it bitch, that’s like mail on a Sunday”

Big Kannon defeats Big T

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Recap: Doing their own version Hitman Holla vs. Aye Verb, Chi-town’s finest, Big Kannon and Big T, get together for a matchup that probably happened too soon considering the amount of hype that could’ve been built up for this one if given more time and a more proper stage. Still too, as seen on Total Slaughter and a couple of other recent battles, Big T’s been going through a bit of a slump lately and from the stunning choke he pulls here in round 1, it wouldn’t be unbecoming to say that T may need to think about taking some time off to get his shit together. Not to take anything away from Big Kannon tho, who while not at his best either, still put on a good show here, spazzing on Big T’s relevance in the game, making fun of his more noted gun bars, rebutting the choke and breaking down T’s supposed lack of effort in trying to get other local rappers on. Towards the end Big T tried to make a comeback, but mostly generic bars along with a lack of energy just showed you that the focus just wasn’t there.

Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Big Kannon – “…..you’ll see a magazine, but read an obituary, and you don’t think I’m digging your grave? Wait…let it simmer terry [cemetary]”)

AR-16 defeats Red Dott

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Synopsis: AR-16’s ability to win battles with mostly freestyles either makes him an overall dope emcee, a guy doesn’t know how to prepare or a guy with enough confidence in his skills that it doesn’t matter who he faces or a guy who just doesn’t take battle rap seriously. Or perhaps it’s all of the above. Whatever the case, with ample jokes at the ready he’s still a crowd pleaser and as proven here, while he may never get top tier battles with this kind of m.o., somehow the dubs keep coming.

Verdict: AR-16 (W) 1-0

Best line:  AR-16 – “As a matter of fact, you gay, I’mma kill him (instead) cuz’ that’s your boo nigga'”

prez mafia defeats Whosane

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Recap: Another nice battle from TrapHouse with Whosane and prez mafia going toe-to-toe throughout in a highly intense and spirited battle. Whosane stayed (“You characters get met with the bird, then get the retweet”) hot through the first couple of rounds (I had it tied after 2), but faltered a little bit in the last round thus giving prez, who stayed more consistent and came with more angles, the edge at the finish line.

Verdict: prez mafia (W) 2-1

Favorite line: prez mafia – “Your ass couldn’t beat Sco, J. Murda or Barzz, that’s bad luck and you got schooled, this is a Parent Teachers conference ass-whopping!”

Roc Raw defeats Jakkboy Maine

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Recap: Assisted by a Jakkboy Maine choke in the 2nd round (which the unorthodox punches from Jakk was ahead on till he forgot his words), but mostly scoring points via a slew of slinging punchlines, witty barbs and hitting schemes/freestyles, Roc Raw puts up a 30 in this Supreme Training Camp battle.

Verdict: Roc Raw (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Roc Raw – “If you sitcom [sit calm] and the Price is Right I’ll Drew [makes motion with hands as if pulling weapon out] Carey nigger’s!”