Recap: From KLBL, with a couple of shortened rounds, not sure an otherwise solid punching Tycoon Tax took this battle as serious as his opponent did. But none of that matters to Eazy The Block Captain who used his 3 rounds here to take Tax on a trip through Gutta City that featured a gang of rigid trap talk, piercing punchlines/name flips, boastful barbs and plenty of indiscriminate mayhem to take the first two rounds for the win before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Piece of his image be everywhere like I’m photoblasting, that snap chat, cuz behidn this filer is an ugly ratchet!”
Recap: In this Cali 3-rounder from Chamber Battles, that Glueazy “stole ya face and ya body” line was dope in round 3, but other than that Vocab Bahamas didn’t offer much in the face of Rosenberg Raw’s (who recycled a few bars here and there) heated punchlines and witty bars in the earlier two rounds.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “I got as big ass gun and it work right, I pull it and it look like i’m trying to start a mini dirt bike!”
Recap: Close 1-rounder from Counter Productive between Bonnie Godiva and transsexual battler No Shame as they both bring the fiery punches, tranny bars/jokes and stirring mayhem to a battle that kept the crowd’s attention all the way through. And while each battler did enough to make their mark, a slightly more consistently hitting, wordplay-lit and versatile Bonnie gets the edge here.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “So listen up man tit’s, I don’t care if your hands big, I know how gay your texts is ‘cuz I read all your transcripts!”
Recap: Superblack dispenses a load of mean bars during this one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League. But overall, Jakkboy Maine’s sterling performance coupled with some exquisite wordplay was just too much to handle.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “I tossed one, then tossed son, you Lost One, you peep the grammar, stay in that field, Lauryn Hill [BOP!!!] and Nothing Even Matter!
Recap: The off-the-dome comedic punches and piercing flips from JShort keeps things close, but in this competitive freestyle battle from Don’t Flop, Charron’s well-executed rebuttals, more adept freestyles and witty personals are enough to handily take 12 out of the 20 rounds for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 12-8
Favorite line: Charron – “You look like the pirate that played dodge ball with Vince Vaughn!”
Recap: After years of chatter, Jaz the Rapper and E-Hart finally meet up on the URL/Smack stage and as each battler’s immense talent and track record would lead you to expect, it’s a fire battle throughout. As for who won? The verdict here essentially comes down to the closest round, the 1st. That said, while E-Hart’s 3rd round was her shortest, the Bronx vet did spit some witty (“You been to more URL battles than Smack!”) lines in the last round that often hit their mark. But versus a thunderous (i.e. classic) round from Jaz that featured some fiery wordplay,, mean, body-dropping (“I’ll kill your daughter then you’ll die right after her…Debbie Reynolds!”; “Why that man let you keep it?, Oh I know ho…the 1st baby-mom always ugly, that’s a broke ho!”) personals and a funny appearance from pop dukes, Hart had no chance there. However, with Hart utilizing some elite wordplay to land (“I’ll catch Jaz wherever she at, like this block is mine, hit her with .9 and then walk away like I copped a dime!”) haymaker after (“You’ll get these bars like I wrote for a nigga…that’s equality!”) haymaker after (“Get it poppin’, I give it up like it’s forgotten, we questioning if you thoting, but that’s a different topic, the K low next to one Tray, that’s Tristan Thomson!”) haymaker with effortless proficiency in the middle round, she’d handily beat back what was an altogether (“So try somethin, ‘cuz I’m hunting, got beef and I invite myself to the cookout, like ‘Hi cousin!'”) solid turn from Jaz. Which brings back us back to the opening round, which saw both rappers mixing it up with an equal amount of stifling punches, stinging bars and hitting personals. And while Jaz was ready with a spicy (“O’fficial did not kill me, so y’all can stop the hating, it was the first time a bitch fought back, so it shocked the nation!”) shot at Hart after the latter went at her loss to O’fficial and kept it close with her own zesty (“The only match to see this Crown Royal is E and J!”) shiners and loaded schemes, it was Hart who was a little more direct and consistently (“Two guns, that’ll sing to ya, meet R and B, not one Bone, Thug in you, don’t speak to Harmony [harming E]!”) fiery with the punches, which in turn enabled her to get the win.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E-Hart – “You tried to explain your death, I was like stop it with the tweets already, after O’fficial fucked your night up, you was Ayesha Curry!”
Recap: Gotta shake ya head sometimes at these hardcore, real street rappers too afraid to get in touch with their funny bone when it comes to battle rap. I mean, if you got a witty side to you (or if your crew constantly says you’re funny), embrace it and write it into your raps. That option allows you to flex your versatility and it might be difference between winning and losing battles. Not that a mostly gritty-punching Tre Poundz wasn’t solid throughout this Street Staus 3-rounder versus B Magic, but damn if he didn’t have pne too many pedestrian bars and if the best bars he spit here weren’t on the humorous side. Either way, with Magic incorporating wicked, wicked gun sounds, a fly Superman scheme and his usual diet of consistently spicy punchlines to this match, even if his opponent did his best Bernie Mac impression, he probably would’ve lost anyway.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 3-0
Favorite line: B Magic – “Boy, you my son…but that bullshit is from ya momma side!”
Recap: Considering all the hype over the years at the prospect of seeing Hitman Holla versus Shotgun Suge, this highly anticipated ‘grudge’ match, even with a UDubb crowd that actually seemed to bring a ton of energy to the battle, was overall a bit underwhelming. But blame the participants for that, not the crowd (tho one can’t help to wonder how this battle would’ve played out if it was on URL). After all, three elongated rounds from each battler didn’t help matters and neither did some lame bars and redundant themes throughout the match. Still, it should also be said that both battlers did deliver on some stinging performance bars, fierce gun bars, witty (Suge: “I ain’t saying you fake, but what kind of Hitman listens to Drake ?!”) barbs, fire (Hitman: “That little pocket slide tap, look, that shit wack, that heart shoving shit?, I do not play that…don’t make me fuck up the culture on my first day back!”) braggadocio lines and some very pointed personals. And while there would be no ‘pocket tap’ from Suge and Hitman’s remix (off a fire ‘legally blind’ punch) was pretty lame, overall this was a pretty solid battle with Hitman dropping more haymakers to take the 1st, a debatable 2nd round that was mired with plenty of pedestrian bars from both sides and a more potent, punch-heavy and self-deprecating Holla getting the 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I don’t gangbang 24/7 ‘cuz my son 11 and he know exactly what them signs mean!”
Recap: Funny and nice with the wordplay at times as well as bountiful with the white man struggle bars, too much filler/lame bars prevents Joey Gambello from pulling off an upset on a widely (“Tell ya girl she gotta duck, ‘cuz I’ll bring the .4 in [foreign] first…Melania Trump!”) efficient DNA.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “You’ll find out what’s in store when I shut him down…HMV!”
Recap: Able to confound his opponent with a dizzying array of repeatedly dope punchlines, stirring (“First he get a clip from the old ratchets…that’s Golden Girls!”) ‘old head bars’ and some crazy wordplay, for two rounds anyway, Reepah Rell takes advantage of his Gutta’s, at times nice, but way…too…slow…to…arrive punches and score a near 3-0, before Gutta’s distinct (“See, right now we on real nigga time and that’s…well past your curfew!”) comeuppance in the last round saves him from a very unpleasant return to the URL stage.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I’m two-faced right?, so you was dead as soon as the coin flipped!”
Recap: Damn, now why she had to do him like that? Spazzing on her opponent with everything from piercing punchlines to fiery name flips to boastful darts to rigid mayhem to salacious personals, a consistently spicy Fiirst Ladii Flamez hammers out a 30 on a King Tanyhill, who despite a gritty, versatile and earnest effort, just couldn’t keep up with Flamez’s consistent heat in this 3-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “Dome shot, have your brain on everything, don’t overthink it!”
Recap: Big T aka “Big Terrence” wows the UK crowd in this Don’t Flop 1-rounder versus Mr RE, using stunted gun bars, a gang of fiery punchlines/name flips, witty personals and performance-laden darts to beat back a lyrically sharp, but mostly tedious opponent.
Verdict: Big T (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big T – “I say, you’re not my type of guy, gotta sky dive just to give a high-five!”
Recap: Fire battle with plenty of salacious bars from both (“I got bars you couldn’t touch on a new Mac book!”) JC and (“Listen pussy, just ‘cuz I don’t got a gun on my waist, don’t mean I ain’t come with something, white boy got the strap on the ankle like I’m bungee-jumping!”) Krome from DMS Battle Ring stays competitive throughout. Still, it’s the kid JC who uses a roundhouse of dizzying wordplay and festive guns bars to take rounds 1 and 2, before surviving an extra-crazy (“They want respect, but rarely beat the kid like white parents!”) 3rd from Krome, who definitely held his own here.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Y’all know why I’m here, right?, to leave his top dirty, Glock 30, head rocking like a night at the Roxbury!”
Recap: Despite an awkward one-minute pause near the beginning of his round, Showoff still manages to dish enough delicious (“This .9 my favorite meal, I guess that’s why my finger-licking good!”) gun bars and aggressive punchlines to edge a win over a sometimes (“I’m surely inspired, that y’all thought I’d be moved by Omar from The Wire!”) nice, yet inconsistent (but heavily gassed either way) Drugz.
Verdict: Showoff (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Showoff – “I’m just real nigga that act out and use a name, Drugz an internet nigga, trying to act out his username!”
Recap: Some hard bars spit by both Gwitty and Staccz throughout this battle, still sees ‘Paper’ delivering a 3-0 with a more cohesive flow and a much higher bar quotient–not that a couple of shortened rounds by Staccz helped any.
Verdict: Gwitty (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Gwitty – “You banging, Red? dot on your flag, Japan on ’em!”
Recap: Snake Eyez welcomes Blaq Mugga back to the URL/Smack stage with a heated barrage of feted Philly personals, head-ringing (“I call this smif Stephen A., so we could skip the bullshit and head straight to the Max!”; “Fuck that classic shit, I ain’t having it, you trying to show your townhow you still keeping it real?, well I’m Colin Kaepernick, ‘cuz I ain’t gotta try stand up, I’m knee-deep in the field!”) wordplay and a steady diet of stinging punchlines. All necessary. when taking in account Mugga’s solid and uber-aggressive performance, an execution that especially shined in a well-balanced and forthright (“I’m in Harlem, with a pistol, is this Goofy out his mind?, you better shield if you cross Snake, that’s an Illuminati sign!”) 2nd round. Still, when all was said and done, too bad for Mugga, as an overall solid turn in both rounds 1 and 3 was peaked by Snake’s peak panache and well-oiled pedigree.
Verdict: Snake Eyez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Snake Eyez – “Miss?, never, I could pull a blade, I ain’t gotta let the heat lift, poke one eye out, now you could see how I see shit!”
Recap: The comedic stylings of Lexx Luthor are strong at times, but too often run into dry spots, leaving MarvWon’s barrage of witty quips, benevolent punchlines and jaunty braggadocio bars with enough spark to overcome a couple of reaches and still get a 3-0.
Verdict: MarvWon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: MarvWon – “Insecure stripper, nigga you dying to get your ass shot!”
Recap: Vocal projection on full tilt, but with a bunch of raucous punchlines, some fire-set-ups/gun bars and acute personals/schemes to match, a competitive and consistently spicy D. Flamez edges the deciding 3rd round for the win in this Bullpen Battle League matchup over a witty, boastful and mostly punch-heavy Cortez, after the two split the first couple of rounds.
Verdict: D. Flamez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D. Flamez – “You got that look like you trip to get the ass!”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from AHAT ATL, a slick-talking, wordplay-lit and boastful punching Swavatar Jack barely breaks a sweat in beating back a hitting and raunchy at times, but slip-up prone Yoshi G for the win.
Verdict: Swavatar Jack (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swavatar Jack – “Swav, bitch I pack a toolie, a mack, a little Uzi, off ya set, since you think you bad and bourgie!”
Recap: Don’t Flop battle between Chilla Jones and Charron fails to showcase either battler on their A-game as a topsy-turvy Jones went overkill on a couple of angles/personals, while overall we’ve seen much better punches and name flips from his Canadian opponent. One thing, however, that was pretty consistent in this bout was Charron’s wit and after the two battlers split the first two rounds, going up against a pretty subpar turn from Chilla, Charron uses a boatload of fiery punchlines and witty barbs/personals to easily take the deciding round for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “Don’t take offense, when sheep can’t sleep they count your schemes going over the fence!”
Recap: After edging a close 1st round via a gang of gritty storytelling bars, fire set-ups and audacious (“The real food for thought in life, is that you can’t eat books for dinner, you stupid nigga!”) pontifications (that combined added up to a classic that even impressed his opponent) on B. Dot’s renowned battle lectures, Cortez makes the mistake of mostly sticking to one theme: attempting to beat his opponent at his own game for the rest of the battle. Or better yet, perhaps B. Dot was just more prepared for what his opponent would bring to the fight. Either way, through the use of steely hometown bars, thoro (“I gotta do ya, send a shot into ya, this is Black love, Brown pride, Shaka Zulu meets Montezuma!”) raps, aggressive punchlines and toss in some nifty (“You don’t know what that means bro, you just a gringo who go wherever the green go!”) Spanish lessons and as far as round 2 and 3, it’s pretty much all B. Dot, showing off his versatility for the dub.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “And you talking all this Black power bullshit, that that’s what excites fans, but you still chose Organik over Smack, so you working for the white man!”
Recap: To quote Tay Roc: ‘You fucked up a classic’. But then that might’ve given Rum Nitty a little too much credit, because even without the silly antics (i.e. pocket checks and igniting a couple of scuffles) and the horrible decision to start his 3rd round with a lame tranny angle, take a away a few dry spots here and there and a more condensed (“If this jam, head go over the fishing tank, you get pushed in, I’m a hold you down till you die…I’m a good friend!”) Rum in the 2nd round, Roc’s multifaceted arsenal, mixed with exquisite wordplay, steely (“Roofless hit, something to air you, I’ll have Nitty staring down at a shotgun…that’s how you have Rum in a barrel! “) combo’s, witty jokes, crazy name flips, potent set-ups and rich performance bars, probably would’ve taken Nitty out even on the latter’s best day. Indeed, with much credit to (“The fan’s telling me, use more personals, put the gum lines up, add some angles, I’m thinking if he get personal, you’ll see the gun line up [points up hands like gun]…at an angle, is that an angle?!”; “I’ll shove a gun down your throat, then tell you ‘run it back!'”) , Nitty for sticking with the ‘Who’s The Gun Line King?’ theme that made this battle highly anticipated and delivering a very solid performance overall, the feeling here is that Roc was not only more versatile, but had a couple of more (“I’m Bruce LeRoi, tell ya nigga’s I’m with the action, Sho nuff, when it glow, you’ll be the Last nigga dragging [Dragon]!”) haymakers than his opponent in what was essentially the deciding 1st round. And what with Roc overmatching Nitty with much more fiery (“You won’t accomplish as much in the game as I did, I’m good with gas, but don’t really need it…I’m the hybrid!”) bars in the aforementioned 3rd round, the feeling here is Roc taking this one with little room for debate.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Nitty, you died on Ave, you like Harold at the light!”
Recap: Some gritty punches and schemes, a shitload of mayhem and even a fierce, mid-round rebuttal amounts to Riggz giving Charlie Clips all he can handle. But in this competitive 1-rounder from BullPen Battle League, Clips’ more condensed turn, which featured a gang of fiery 4-bar set-ups, some witty barbs, dope, crowd-pleasing freestyles, jaunty personals/name flips, piercing wordplay and a fly ‘Mannequin Challenge’ performance would be enough to give Charlie the win.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “John John, lines like that is the reason you brought me back in the building, when I get hype I like to fight, but if I [eye] feel lazy I’ll bring that T-Mac in the building!”
Recap: A half-nice, but filler-prone Wev Cravv fails to hold his ground against the repeated onslaught of fiery punches from Ty Law in this one-rounder from Trap NY.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “Through your round you’ll shoot me, but real life, we not playing, glock aiming, shots like new fiends, we rock Cravan!”
Recap: Nunn Ninn uses hard-hitting punches, ferocious name flips/set-ups and some jaunty wordplay to take this one-rounder with relative ease over a loud and aggressive, but for the most part basic, Ray Stizzy.
Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “I seen ya footage bitch, you definitely trash…Joey verse Mook, couldn’t beat this Murda [murder] if that’s the best ya had [Jihad]!”
Recap: Well, Mack Mel certainly had to earn this one. That’s how robust with the punches, (“Without a pound on you, you as good as dead…weight [wait]!”) wordplay and set-ups Cable Guy was here. Indeed, a spitfire match throughout. A head-turning (“I don’t do too much talking clown, I just run up with the baby like ‘Look who’s talking now!'”) 1st by Cable Guy was only beaten by a braggadocio, haymaker-drenched, (“I get grimy, rusty can top, turn buck-50s into 1.90s!”) performance-heavy and (“Spine shot, man his chest poke out…like when cold water hit ya back!”) gun-savvy turn by Mac, before Cable Guy proved his mettle was unshaken through the likes of a just as fire and (“See, I’m like a Menace to Society, so he oughtta knew better then giving me burgers!”; “You known for being bun, so I don’t get what’s so special about the Sauce!”) punch-heavy 2nd round that beat back a (“I pull out shooting two, And 1, Ayo, I’m Sik Wit It!”) solid, but not-as-flexing turn by Mac. Split going into the 3rd, Cable Guy came through with another pronounced turn of witty personals and dope schemes. Still, for all of Cable Guy’s word symmetry throughout, it was Mack Mel, showing that he still had plenty left in the tank via a fierce 3rd that featured a plethora of stifling punchlines, gritty street chatter and slinging gun bars, altogether enough to edge the final round and get the win.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “Everybody always saying they connect is named Pablo or Chico right?, well my connect name is…head shot, that’s what I get if I say names!”
Recap: Well, if there’s one thing you just can’t do when there’s money on the line in a battle, it’s choke. Unfortunately for Shawty Raw–who after getting overwhelmed by Swamp’s grimy bars, way more potent lines and heated punches in the 1st round, made for a gritty enough comeback in the 2nd to make that round both competitive and debatable 2nd–his fate (and $400) would not only be decided by his opponent’s sizzling punchline game and fiery gun bar verbiage, but also a total loss of his bars.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swamp – ” I said I’m done playing, you see me, it’s front pages, gun’s blazing, bucks from all kinds of muthafucka’s…like you fundraising!”
Recap: From BlessDaMiCDvd, gritty 1-rounder between Ish Mulah and Getem Vega features a gang of hard-hitting punches from sides, but at the end it’s the slightly more consistently spicy and versatile Ish who wins out.
Verdict: Ish Mulah (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ish Mulah – “I came for a Street Fighter, Vega better have his claws on out the gate!”
Recap: Fire battle between (“See, tonight you came out to try for for Smack White, but white came to smack you back!”) Glueazy and (“Smack gave him that shot, he about to shit on it, think Rich Homie, that’ll tribute to you on stage, fucking up a BIG moment!”) Bedaffi Green definitively comes to the 2nd round, as an equally solid turn by both parties warrants going either way in rounds 1 and 3. However, it’s the mid-round that saw Glu, in particular stand out, dropping a steady barrage of (“I’ll put a blanket on Green, like I’m picnic in the park!”; “The hammer squeeze, it’s anti-freeze, I’ll pop ya top and have green pouring out!”) haymakers that easily thwarted an pretty solid, but not-nearly-as-nice round from Mr. Green, who altogether despite losing this one, still displayed enough variety with the bars, performance (“The machine got a mind of its own, my sub conscious!”) creed and entertainment value to earn another shot at making the URL roster.
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Glueazy – “Second battle back on Smack, I’m a kill something, with these guns I’ll black boy, now watch a cracker raise two of ’em…I’m Phil Drummond!”
Recap: Coming off an alleged 6-month layoff, Bangz still manages to get busy with some sterling word association bars, fierce gun bars and steely punchlines in an elongated, but freestyle-free turn that seemed bent on substance over style points. For a less bar-heavy-than-usual Whosane, Bangz more potent repertoire equates to a well-equipped wrap.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bangz – “Shit, even my little nigga’s ready to give it up like they ain’t dedicated!”
Recap: As much as you can appreciate a rising star like T Top going back to his home base and giving local spitters like Barburying Diggy a shot, when a guy references ‘Khrush Groove’ and Kris Kross in the same round, you just know it’s an early wrap. Indeed, one can only hope that Top’s paycheck was worth putting up with this one round scrimmage.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “I hit the stopclock [Bawh!!}, I came to call ya bluff, dump you then shit on ya Queen, that’s a royal flush!”
Recap: He may be a slow puncher, but PC’s bars can still land with stifling effect, As he shows here in this Bullpen Battle League matchup against a B Magic who started off hot but struggled with his flow for the latter half of his turn, PC’s consistently measured gun bars and unhurried punches still packed enough heat to earn the win.
Verdict: PC (W) 1-0
Favorite line: PC – “Clip ’bout as long as the Pledge of Allegiance, the irony I gotta stand for it!”
Recap: Brizz Rawsteen versus Arsonal lives up to its top tier billing with both rappers putting forth a wide load of entertaining personals, fiery schemes, witty punchlines, solid wordplay, sizzling (Arsonal: “Take him paint-balling and load up my gun with live ammo!”) gun bars and some raucous haymakers. Not as disrespectful as you’re used to seeing him, Arsonal still made a competitive show of it with a wide array of heaters that even included plenty of jokes and freestyles, while keeping himself in the battle throughout. But after a debatable 1st round, a more consistent, aggressive and performance-heavy Brizz just proved to be too much for the Jersey vet, dishing rapidly fire shiners and his own mix of disrespectful (“I’ll fuck your mother in the ass and make her suck it off!”) bars with ease and steady confidence to the point of garnering a ‘3-0!’ chant the crowd, while decisively taking both of the latter rounds for the win.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Smack, we gotta make a movie, first, I need to see how that Uzi…work [Vert], and paint them dreds another color..Little Uzi!”
Recap: In addition to brazen gun bars and fiesty punchlines, over the course of 3 consistent and fire rounds Coffee Brown spits a boatload of nasty personals to easily beat back a fiery and witty at times, but mostly pedestrian slip-up prone RedBangzDntBang.
Verdict: Coffee Brown (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Coffee Brown – “I did you a favor and killed you…before diabetes!”
Recap: After somewhat of a slow start that allowed a pointed (“You beating me? You got a Riley Cooper’s chance in a Panther party!”) Real Deal to easily take round 1, Kaboom gets back in his bag with some elite round 2 (“The SK will knock Deal back-n-forth like negotiations!”) guns bars, before dispensing a literally classic (“Fuck ya guns, fuck ya bullets, wigga, beef ain’t your style, you be busting in the air, what’s your beef with the clouds?!”) ‘Fuck U!’ thesis on his opponent in round 3 that broke the tie and earned him the win.
Verdict: Kaboom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kaboom – “Fuck ya dead mom, you gonna join her when I dump lead, lay you down with her, hope that bitch casket got a bunk bed!”
Recap: If this 3-round, LABattleGroundz battle was just about jokes, Cali Smoov would’ve had this one easy as those racial angles he took with the quips were often hilarious. Unfortunately for Cali tho, outside of showing off his funny bone there really wasn’t much else he could bring to the table in terms of a robust punch game, leaving opponent Stricc, armed with a shitload of consistently nasty punchlines, some head-ringing wordplay, righteous struggle bars and his own slew of hitting personals, with a working man’s 30.
Verdict: Stricc (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Stricc – “Nothing stands out about you squares, I’m color-blind with a Rubik cube!”
Recap: Thanks to a couple of no-shows, UK grime/battle rapper Dialect and Math Hoffa end up going at it in this one-rounder, with what’s alleged to be only 3 days prep. For Math, that’s astutely going in vet mode, what with a solid turn of acute name (“Now Dialect, let me put you on trial a sec, this bar court, your name’s ‘Dialect, so you know what that kinda says? you all talk!”) flips, potent wordplay and festive bully bars, For Dialect, that’s mostly hit-or-miss jokes, a couple of stumbles and more than a minute of grime rapping…that kept the crowd’s attention anyway, but didn’t do much else.
Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “Fuck Dialect, ‘cuz Math is universal amongst the languages!”
Recap: Well, here’s something you almost never see: a battle rapper (in this case, Jey The Nitewing) choking in all 3 rounds, thus affording a pretty solid punching (esp. during an extra dope 2nd round) and witty at times L.S. Da Zombie a bodybag in this For MCs By MCs P.I.N. 2 Tourney.
Verdict: L.S. Da Zombie (W) 3-0
Favorite line: L.S. Da Zombie – “Bullets coming out at night [Nite], they nocturnal!”
Recap: I guess we can pardon DNA for suddenly getting so biblical on us, what with Th3 Saga also being a member of NWX. Still, another good match nonetheless for the battle rap vet giving yet another relative newcomer a shot in Bullpen Battle League’s Loso. First round sees DNA win pretty handily, dispensing a steady and scintillating flow filled with requisite gun bars and gritty (“If the cops come we must stash the can, Mister Pringle’s!”) punches that more than outshined a nice at times, but filler-drenched turn from Loso. With plenty of momentum gained from a stellar 1st round, it’s more of the same in the 2nd with DNA continuing to dish with hard-pressing (“The ratchet lovely, stunt double, you don’t want action from me!”) gun bars along with potent punches that more than hit their mark. And while Loso stepped it up to deliver a (“We only care that you cookie ‘cuz you around the shooter, you Aiesha Curry!”) very solid round mixed with comedic darts along with hitting (“When Gun Titles pressed you at that first battle, you was looking real fake man, now I know you good at improvising off the top, but how so quickly you came up with an escape plan?!”) personals, it still wasn’t enough to be beat DNA’s more steady heat. Catching a fade of religion and literally speaking to the aforementioned Saga on the phone halfway through the 3rd round, a shaky at times DNA still manages to pontificate and get off whatever point he was trying to make towards his opponent. Still, with a barrage of more hard (“Wanna know what we yawning for? because every battle you pull out a new gun, but that’s not what we meant when we said go back to the drawing board!”) personals and some excellent wordplay, Loso easily salvages the last round and avoids the 3-0.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: DNA – “Mad noise when shooting, ask Mase, you couldn’t pass the King Los at a Bad Boy reunion!”
Recap: Harlem’s T-Rex comes all the way out to Brooklyn to give local up-n-comer Dizzy Spadez a shot and the result is about what you’d expect as after a solid (“We could shoot it out or we could fight, I got [swings hand] a hook for everybody like French Montana!”) start by Spadez, the 2nd half of his round is distinctively porous, giving him no chance in this one-rounder against Rex’s gritty street (“I’ll bury him, have blood shooting out of his head like water on the whales at the aquarium!”) bars and drug talk.
Verdict: T-Rex (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T-Rex – “I’m different my nigga, this is a DOT world, and I want the Power so I might gotta go get the Tommy ‘cuz I highly [hardly] get my hands on that white girl!”
Recap: Never been a fan of 2-rounders, but this one’s still fire what with R Streetz spitting hot (“The clip curved, I gotta load it sideways, it’s the big heat so it hook from the side…like strippers to make end’s meet!”) punches and schemes at will in round one to easily beat back a pretty pedestrian turn by opponent Jynx da Don. That wouldn’t be the end of it tho as Jynx turned up in the second round, punching and landing with flat-footed urban theater that scored with the quickness, just enough to take the round over another solid turn by sturdy Mr. Streetz.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Jynx Da Don – “A round in the streets, that’s probably a sewer nigga, if I put a round in Streetz, he’ll probably sue a nigga!”
Recap: If you can pardon all the gassing, petty crowd interruptions and mobile phone distractions, Moon versus O-mega, a battle between a couple of older vets is a worth see, what with its bent on old-school dynamics, ill personals, fire punchlines and rigid gun bars. A Moon rebuttal edges him a close round one, before O-mega comes back with more haymakers in a turned-up round 2 to split things going into the final round. It’s a solid turn for both battlers in the 3rd with more of their braggadocio street talk along with heated punches, but a more consistent and versatile Moon gets this one.
Verdict: Moon (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Moon – “You trying to get aggressive with me, nigga that’s a foul that’s flagrant, you rather try to set up a trap house across the street from the home of an FBI agent!”
Recap: Tho a little repetitive towards the end, the steady dishes of (“I’ll pop a few, I’ll let it fire in front of your family like I was cooking Hibachi food!”) mayhem and salacious name flips from Benji Lolo was certainly capable enough to warrant a win in this one-rounder versus Pep. However, along with a nice rebuttal, a palette of mean personals along with enough experience to save himself from a slip-up or twp, Pep’s overall ability to entertain with rapid punches and righteous indignation at his opponent’s more gritty bars during his turn allows for this one to go down as a split.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Pep – “The difference between when you and I rap, these nigga’s is 100 percent sure that these is my rhymes!”
Recap: Crazy, dope PG battle between Fettuccine20 and Jakkboy Maine has it all: hot (Fetty: “Yeah, I Bugs on the mic, but my monsters will shoot this place up like Space Jam!”) bars aplenty, stifling wordplay, nice rebuttals, pointed disses at each other’s girl, gas masks, jaunty (Jakkboy: “What you gonna say? ‘Fettuccine, Linguini…’ then I cut him and keep hooking, like pre-cooking, ‘cuz when shit’s boil, hen you crush them all!”) set-ups, potent schemes, fiery (Fetti: “So throwing up your fist at me is sort of a slap in the face, I’m mad harder, bad barber, I’ll give you a bald head of you ask for the fade!”) gun bars, lofty sound effects and if all that wasn’t enough, a couple of dance moves just in case you needed a little more. But who won the battle? Gonna have to go here with Mr. Maine, who certainly earned this one over a valiant and resilient Fetti, one-upping his opponent on (“Hey, what’s your equation?, state it and maybe you won’t hold the thoughts, the beef with me different and don’t nobody try it like Stroganoff!”) haymakers, performance and versatility, Jakkboy manages to edge the latter two rounds and probably would’ve had a tooclose 1st if not for a few too many wasted bars directed at DNA.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “So cut it out, I was young, dummy and dubbs, so what the fuss about?, just bugging out, and when mom’ said beat the streetlights home, I’d bust them out!”
Recap: Mostly lackluster battle between Jai and K-Shine on the Udubb stage features bad impressions, plenty of filler, K-Shine taking a round off and Jai catching a bout of Earl in round 3, which along with Shine’s more titillating (“That’s banging on sight [site] like Backpage!”) bars in round 1 essentially serves as the difference-maker.
Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1
Favorite line: K-Shine – “Glock-9, mean laser, —-, bean chaser, act out, nigga, I done backed out more than Qleen Paper!”
Recap:NOME 6 matchup between Chess and Ave contains almost all the formalities needed for a standout battle: 3 close, competing rounds, a classic 1st round from Ave, relentless punchlines after punchlines, well-loaded gun bars, fiery name flips, aggressive performances and stinging personals that weren’t just limited to each other, but other battler’s as well. Chess, confident and gritty from jump with not only the aforementioned palette mixed in his raps, but also a wide load of young nigga strife and well-versed struggle bars, would make Ave work for his throughout this battle. The young God coming through with a spitfire and (“He gave Mike P the butt of the .50, so he could see how Vivica feel, well this 50 got a Best Friend, he’s singin’ with Olivia still!”) seismic 2nd round after a pretty solid effort in the 1st, that just didn’t have near enough consistency and potency to beat back a haymaker-drenched turn by his opponent. Tied going into the 3rd round, both battlers would turn up the heat, punching with dizzying efficiency, boastful barbs and spicy personals that kept the bout suspenseful. But a surprisingly more condensed Ave would prove to be better in the end, taking the round with a just-as-versatile and steadier turn that was also more lit on (“That gun play ain’t just chatter, I will clap that fucker, come out the Cave wit’ the trey [tray], I feel like Batman butler!”) haymakers.
Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Ave – “How he gon’ beat me?, ‘cuz if he disrespecting space in-between us, he gon’ see more than my punches on these stages, the meanest, I’m finna show this, if I hit him in his face they ain’t swingers, niggas soft behind the counter, he like Ace at the cleaners!”
Recap: Bad Newz puts a hit on Shotgun Suge, welcoming the Jersey veteran to the Bullpen Battle League with plenty of fiery personals, sturdy gun bars, potent name flips, some dope wordplay and gritty punchlines. And while Suge hung in there throughout with his own plate of residual mayhem, besides a debatable 1st round, News’ more consistent effort and versatility proved to be too much for Shotgun to take on in the latter rounds.
Verdict: Bad Newz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bad Newz – “Fuck ya squad, a bunch of fake Crips that backstab ya and switch friends, my team loyal, nothing’s uneven here, we split ends!”
Recap: ‘What do I know, I just got Charlie Clips in a year’. Ummm yeah, apparently Detroit emcee Shotti P is doing something right, because besides this battle I hadn’t heard much from him before. Yet, here he is on the KOTD stage against the likes of Clips…in what ended up being literally a debatable battle. 1st round goes to Clips…easy, what with sizzling (“Y’all know me, I roll with two guns, pay attention, I got one tucked, I’m Mario when he get the extra man…I [points hand up] keep one up!”) set-ups/schemes, a fiery and consistent flow and scheming (“Maybe it’s only me, but you look like you sit on the toilet for a half an hour straight and only pee!”) bars that lit fires in your belly. Still, the 3rd round went to Shotti P…easy, not that Clips delivering yet another 3rd round dropoff helped any, yet that doesn’t dismiss Shotti’s jaunty (“Naw, fuck that I ain’t looking for a cop-out like his pop’s did, I ain’t with the politics, you’ll get caught smoking like one of Barack’s kids!”) personals and nice comedic timing. Second round is the deciding factor and could either way with Shotti’s spitfire (“You got s mean gun? well I got a depressed .38 like a midlife crisis!”) bars and wordplay versus a little more diverse turn from Clips that landed heavy with potent storytelling bars, searing (“…but if I ain’t feeling your Styles P, then huh!, I make you Kiss the gun!”) puns and rich crowd-pleasers.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Shotti P – “When a shotty [Shotti] smoking, it’ll lift a nigga spirit like ‘Great News!’“
Recap: Even with shorter rounds and better overall (“Broad daylight, let’s Tango and catch one to the head!”) bars, thanks to a first round choke and two slip-ups and an arguable choke in round 3, Shotgun Suge still manages to lose this matchup to the bar-deficient, but always (“One shot will flush his whole system like green tea!”) feisty and more performance-heavy E Ness.
Verdict: E Ness (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “A sharp rifle will split his tea, he don’t put no noise behind them words like Mr. Bean!”
Recap: Even in front of a Don’t Flop crowd that seemed enamored with just about anything a mostly subpar Tony D spit, Pat Stay still survives his opponent’s hometown fans as well as his own knack for pedestrian bars (in what altogether was a pretty tedious battle) with just enough hitting braggadocio bars, random jokes, witty punchlines and stinging personals to pull off the win.
Verdict: Pat Stay (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Pat Stay – “You thought that Marvwon shit was rough, know what rhymes with Autism Awareness Month?…who gives a fuck!”
Recap: Both Jade and McFresh unload on each other with a gang of gritty punches and salacious personals in this competitive, inter-gender matchup from We Go Hard. But after the two split the opening rounds, despite another solid turn by McFresh, Jade’s more rigid name flips and consistently spicy/witty punchlines gets her the win.
Verdict: Jade (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Jade – “It’s plain to see that I’m top-heavy, that’s why I’m back spazzing!”
Recap: A. Ward and Real Deal put on a dope, competitive and punchline-lit match for a KOTD crowd that stayed enthralled throughout. The newbie Ward kept it aggressive and fiery for the entire battle, while displaying excellent showmanship, piercing punchlines, witty zingers and salacious personals. And while Real Deal also helped himself to a bag of stifling personals, the gym teacher/battle rapper would also come through with plenty of jaunty sport bars, Christian-laced darts, boastful barbs and shrewd set-ups/wordplay. A matchup that was also littered in white culture references as well as a couple of nice rebuttals from each side, after a slightly punch-heavier Ward took the 1st round, the more haymaker-friendly Real Deal edges both of the latter rounds for the win.
Verdict: Real Deal (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Real Deal – “You got me fucked up…like Jesus Christ in every depiction!”
Recap: After a debatable first round, a high-energy and confident Krucial Ken steps it up on the gritty punchlines, lucid gun bars and fire wordplay to take the last two rounds and out duel an overall solid, but too-oft-porous Diesel in this punch-heavy West-coast PG battle.
Verdict: Krucial Ken (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Krucial Ken – “I’m a smoke Diesel and get on Smack, he a gateway drug!”
Recap: Albeit, Brixx Belvy got off to s slow start in round one, it’s still nice mix of (Xcel: “I could run up on him, give him 90, just because Belvedere ain’t been popping since the 90s!”) name flips, wordplay and hard ( Brixx: “I got a round from Loso, clearly you heaven bound, I’ll squeeze it then repeat it before I die, like wedding vows!”; “That sweeper will lift a couple off they feet, then they settle down!”) punchlines from both Brixx and Xcel throughout this lowkey, but bar-heavy matchup. So the difference here? When Xcel gets (S.O.N.S.?, y’all on that daughter shit, I’ll shoot a son faster than Marvin Gaye father did!”) personal, especially during an otherwise close round 3, which ended up being the deciding factor after they split the first two rounds.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel -“Killing rappers ain’t new shit, I could’ve took Brixx [bricks] out in the jungle like Frank Lucas!”
Recap: In a one-round battle to decide who’s the best, well-dressed (Prep: “Let’s be honest, they ain’t book this matchup to compare styles…they wanna see H&M versus Men’s Warehouse!”) battle rapper, Prep uses a gang of stinging punchlines and robust freestyles (at his opponent and even crowd members such as a seemingly tipsy Drugz) to beat back a (“See, I don’t think that you gay Prep, I think that you try to be!”) solid, but overall too prone to pedestrian bars, Spanish Harlem.
Verdict: Prep (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Prep – “Only time we lining up for Spanish rap [wrap]…Chipotle!”
Recap: One round of predominantly nasty gun bars because after all he is the ‘Gun Bar King’. Then a classic round 2nd of mostly mean, disrespectful zingers to show that, yunno, he could do what the other guy’s known to do and sometimes even better. And finally a 3rd round with a boatload of gritty punchlines and personals to remind you of his versatility and why he’s in everyone Top 10. And in an away game on a stage where his opponent also happened to be the co-league owner, for Tay Roc (while an aggressive and pretty solid Arsonal had his moments, esp. when he was taking shots at Tsu Surf and Shotgun Suge, during the battle), after a debatable 1st round, it doesn’t get much better than this.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Nah, this ain’t no Tay Roc versus legend shit, this me vs. a bitch…look like we running for President!”
Recap: Some early points on this battle: 1) This would’ve been a debatable classic if not for the Tsu Surf’s choke in round 3, 2) Surf has to do a better job at handling crowd reactions, it’s something every battle rapper has to deal with and ever since the 2-on-2 battle with Surf & Tay Roc vs. K-Shine & DNA, we’ve noticed that Surf has a hard time dealing with interruptions and 3) Yes, as Loaded Lux proved versus Calicoe, you can still win a battle even with a choke. That being said, this one clearly comes down to the first round as what was setting up to be a dope 3rd round (what with a great start by Surf) got deflated by two slip-ups by the Jersey vet before the aforementioned choke. So all Top had to do was deliver a solid, slip-up free turn, which he did with some hard personals and an ill (“Battle two times a month and you fucking up on your verses, Ha!”) Juvenile impression that showed off Top’s lowkey comical side. 2nd round easily belonged to Surf, despite a dope (tho elongated) turn from Top, it’s a confident Tsunami who dials up a blueprint on how to beat Top what with potent angles on Top’s trap house (“If we gonna rap, let’s rap, only what’s true nigga, like how your mother was on smack waaaayyy before you nigga!”; “She smoked your stash, that’s why you don’t fuck with ya mother!”) duplicity as well as righteous haymakers that more than hit their mark. Onto the first round where the only debate lies, what with both Surf and Top bringing their A-game and landing hard with winsome bars and steely street chatter. A close round with an equal amount of haymakers from each, it’s Surf who edges it with more creative angles, flawless flow, fire punches, a slightly better performance and more originality (in what added up to be a classic) in that Top may’ve bitten a couple of shiners from fellow adversaries Math Hoffa (the ‘Plies’ bar} and Tay Roc (the ‘Spic-n-span’ bar), the latter of whom, ironically, was on stage at the battle. So while the choke in all likelihood prevents this battle from being a contender for ‘Battle of the Year’, this spitfire matchup does nothing to take away from each battler’s top tier status.
Verdict: Tsu Surf (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tsu Surf – “Custodian after school, walking with a mop, Earl Manigualt, i could knock a quarter outta Top!”
Recap: Jersey legend versus Jersey legend meet up for the 1st time in Cali of all places with longtime vets Arsonal and Serius Jones going at it for 3 rambunctious rounds. Edge the first round to Arsonal, who with a more well-rounded turn that featured his usual panache of extra-disrespectful bars and aggressive heaters, beat back a lofty, but less gripping turn by Jones. Highlighted by a well-thought-out freestyle that a seemingly bored Arsonal brought onto himself by literally doing push-ups in the middle of the round, a more polished Jones also turned it up a notch with some banging punches to even things up. Clearly more intent on winning than his opponent as the battle continued, Jones stayed proper and matched his ever-cocky swag with more consistently fiery darts, whether they were righteous pontifications or well-aimed personals that more than landed to get the edge over a albeit funny at times, but not as consistently nice turn from da Rebel.
Verdict: Serius Jones (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Serius Jones – “And you could do push-ups, but that ain’t gonna help you at all bro, what you need to do is pull-ups because you need to get in tune with your bars bro!”
Recap: Goodz, arguably the most dangerous 1-round opponent in battle rap, proves why again, beating back a ripping and pretty solid turn by Shotgun Suge with a variety of spicy/witty personals, flippant boasts, rich storytelling, piercing name flips/punchlines and stifling 4-bar-set-ups to win this Time Is Money battle.
Verdict: Goodz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Goodz – “My voice gets your bitch box wet, that’s why she checks my flow!”
