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Charlie Clips defeats O-Red

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Recap: Really disappointed with this battle, it’s like neither Clips or O-Red took it that seriously and altogether there just wasn’t a professional feel to it. Plus, as much as I don’t like to get into the extra shit, there shouldn’t be nothing wrong with a little constructive criticism, right? For starters, the crowd’s at U-Dubb have really gotten lame or just quiet. I don’t know if it’s the venue or the sound equipment or what, but compared to past U-Dubb events, the energy just isn’t there. Then too the camera angles were off and sometimes it felt like the only people witnessing this battle were the people on stage. Secondly, please stop letting Debo host battles (hell, even Clips said it). If a guy’s gonna host, he should just get a quick introduction, introduce the battlers, flip the coin and move on. Debo doesn’t do that and he reminds you too much of when Star hosted in the URL…too much extra shit. Lastly, if anyone’s arguing about oversaturation killing battle rap, battles like this would help prove their case–just lackluster all around with a couple of top tiers who clearly didn’t bring their A-game. That said, I got Clips taking the 1st and 3rd rounds.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “You know what you are? You a check my nigga, we only battle you when the landlord wanna get the rent, you beat X-factor, so what?, when I got fed X he ain’t deliver since”

Kid Chaos defeats Marvolus

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Recap: Just when you think you’ve seen it all in battle rap, here’s something new for ya: a double choke in the 3rd round here between Kid Chaos and Marvolus. But since the much stronger-punching Chaos, already up 2-0 going into the final round, rapped longer than his opponent did in round 3 before choking, we’ll edge him the 3rd too without an asterisk, since he really didn’t receive much of a chance to continue spitting his bars.

Verdict: Kid Chaos (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Kid Chaos – “Out of my waist, every single one of you stars turn on to Orion’s belt!”

prez mafia defeats E.B.A.N.G.A.

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Recap: E.B.A.N.G.A. put on a good (“How you float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, but you was battling DNA in that Walmart tee?”) show, might have enough skills to help put Philly back on the battle scene. But even his best bars couldn’t handle prez mafia’s heat: a whole lot of dope schemes, heavy (“When I could wig on a nigga I doubt fire…Robin Williams, when-you-wig-on-a-nigga-I-Doubtfire”) wordplay, in-your-grill name flips and steady haymakers that got him all three rounds.

Verdict: prez mafia (W) 3-0

Favorite line: prez mafia – “I’ll have a semi mop the floor with you, you ain’t getting up, or I’ll get bitches to wash you, that’s Coming To America”

Big Kannon defeats Body Bag Bud

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Recap: Body Bag Bud, a last-minute replacement for JC in this 1-rounder versus Big Kannon, does a solid job with a gang of raucous raps to keep the crowd entertained and paying attention. But a more versatile BK, dishing everything from fierce multi’s to fiery punchlines to captivating freestyles and boastful darts, takes this one easy in the end.

Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Big Kannon – “The fact that we in a skating ring don’t mean that I’m a let shit skate!”

Arsonal defeats Big T

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Recap: Prior to their noted PPV Total Slaughter match, Big T and Arsonal had already met up, doing this half battle-on-a-beat/half microphones match for MC War. Round 1, which was on beat, went to a clearly punch-heavier while Big T, coming off a shortened turn earlier, was able to spit a couple of more haymakers to tie things up in round 2 which was also on beat. Battling with written’s and off beat for round 3, Arsonal’s flashy wordplay, sizzling gun bars and piercing personals would combine to edge a pretty solid turn from his opponent for the win.

Verdict: Arsonal (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Arsonal – “I’ll shoot at your house while you in it, you needed help bringing the mortgage down!”

J. Murda defeats Zeus Da God

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Recap: Had this one tied after two what with the bars being pretty equal, but Zeus putting forth a slightly better performance with matching aggression in round 1, while J. Murda was more consistent with the punches (“Let that metal ring under your nose if I don’t accept him”) and had better wordplay in round 2. 3rd round was easily Murda’s, heavier with the bars, nice personals and a couple of haymakers mixed in to take the win.

Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1

Favorite line: J. Murda – “I will cut you, and yeah I like to get a little violent and crazy, but I like gutting niggas, I’m still kinda precise with the .80, I’m talking c-sections like and y’all still can’t stomach how I get them outta here baby!”

Chilla Jones defeats Real Deal

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Recap: Let’s face it Chilla Jones just seems to get nicer with each battle. And here against a veteran in Real Deal who almost always impresses, Jones had to know going in that he better be on his A-game in order to pull out a victory here. Thinking that he’d come out with haymakers (ala his bout against B-Magic) Real Deal fails to impress much in round one, mostly delivering bars on Jones supposed regimen for street talk–an angle that makes no sense against an opponent renowned for schemes and wordplay. On the other hand Jones quickly shows that he did his research, spitting congenial wordplay on how Real Deal will attempt to win, while serving his opponent with a nice “boy band” scheme as a keepsake. Round two sees Real Deal clowning on Jones supposedly overrated style (“Your bars make people feel good when they get ’em like a refund check”) and alleged reaches with jokes, punchlines and other anecdotes breaking down Jones’ miscues on past bars. With Real Deal stepping it up, Jones switches angles, snapping on Deal’s Dot Mob status (“Why ain’t K-Shine behind you screaming ‘Get that nigga Deal!'”) before returning to his mantra of hot (“Once I air Real, he gonna see how some assault feel”) punchlines and hard-hitting bars. Last round finds Real Deal getting personal, hilariously cracking on Jones’ epic battle against JC, his hairline and the infamous Boston accent. But Jones, who’s more than stepped it up when it comes to his 3rd rounds, is at the ready, executing an unreturned high-five with precision on the creative front and pulling out haymakers (“This is the shit that happen when you step to the best Real, bars out of this world I brought extraterrestrials [extras to rest Real] “) to put this one to bed.

Verdict: Chilla Jones (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Real Deal – “I’m not a hater tho, your battle with JC is a classic I won’t lie, but you two pussies talk about it like it’s 4 touchdowns at Polk High”

QP (Qleen Paper) defeats Kloud MkBreeze

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Recap: For some reason Kloud MkBreeze saves, by far his best round, for the last round with a wicked combo of stifling (“He want y’all to call him Qleen Paper, in Detroit they call you ‘Tell Something!'”) punchlines and literal off-the-dome haymakers. Too bad MkBreeze’s late battle hysterics and early rounds hibernation works in favor of Qleen Paper (who might want to think about ditching the oft-sloppy solo endeavors for some two-on-two with new PNC QP) as he had just enough (“All this talk about how you dumping it please, I’ll put this nigga in a bag like I’m done with the leaves”, “Chrome to his back, because behind every Kloud [cloud] is a silver lining”) ‘light bars’ to edge rounds the first two rounds, overcome an ill-prepared 3rd round and basically survive with just enough air left in the tank for the win.

Verdict: QP (Qleen Paper) (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Kloud Mkbreeze – “You know how I know now only are you a bitch-ass nigga, but you’s a dumb nigga?, because you got sonned by a S.O.N. nigga then joined his fucking team, so that mean you got jumped in by one nigga”

Blacksmif defeats Gutta

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Recap: Decent battle. Both came with plenty of bars, but their similar styles feeds into the argument that too many of these PG dudes sound alike. Blaksmif also needs to work on his delivery along with less dapping, while Gutta’s lines are too generic (even if you aren’t into personals, being proud that you couldn’t find any dirt on a dude is a non-starter) and his entourage could’ve shown more support for his bars. I got Blacksmif winning this easy tho: way more angles, better (“You remind me of a pregnant bitch: you got nut-in [nothing]”) punchlines, nice wordplay, steady jokes and more hard-hitting bars.

Verdict: Blaksmif (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Blaksmif – “I’m balling cuz’ I run through two halves then it’s O time, I shut him down so bad so bad his casket need a Closed sign”

Stylez defeats Steams

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Recap: So what if he seems to be another PG battler built in the mold of Tsu Surf, as seen here Stylez’ still got plenty heat for that ass. Against the ever competitive (“Fabio, No!, I’mma pop the bottle like ENJ and put styles on you…”) Steams, newcomer Styles displays a roundhouse of hard-hitting bars with confident (“This ass-whooping worse than a booking, I don’t fear Steams, open the window while I cook him, I’ll air Steams!”) swag and precise execution. Steams stayed in the match (“Tell bird chest I’m bringing the eagle so put that hawk away”) through the 2nd round, but some late stumbles and Steams continued dope personals, punchlines and schemes was just too much to overcome.

Verdict: Stylez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Styles – “Slightly after a few battles Steams and Prezzy was buzzing, [till] I let this llama bake and a sucka relate like first cousins”

Mack Mel defeats Geno

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Recap: In a battle loaded with a lot of grit, aggression and mayhem, but a plethora of basic bars from each side, Mack Mel stirs up just enough fiery schemes and consistency with his punches to edge the first two rounds from the Tink Da Demon co-signed Geno, win the match and survive a late 3rd round choke.

Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Mack Mel – “They say Mack don’t spit personals, you’re fucking right…I ain’t got time to know nigga’s!

Head Ice defeats The Deadman

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Recap: All the way from Harlem, NY, Head Ice puts a hurting on The Deadman with mean name schemes, personals and aggressive bars to move the crowd and shake the room. The Deadman had his moments (“I’ll stomp Ice out till I’m walking on water, Jesus Christ!”), but for the most part Ice stayed in control of the battle and easily took the win.

Verdict: Head Ice (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Head Ice –  “No wonder they labeled you The Deadman, you overdosed”

Showoff defeats Ab Eaze

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Recap: Not the best showing by Showoff what with a couple of near slip-ups. but he makes up for it by maintaining his flow and dropping some nice schemes along with stifling wordplay which over the course of this one-round matchup, was enough to beat Ab Eaze’s consistently basic punchlines.

Verdict: Showoff (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Showoff – “He ain’t been cooked yet, fuck that’s supposed to make him, raw?”

Big Kannon defeats Bigg K

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Recap: Dope battle featuring a gang of hot bars, rebuttals and quality performances by both Bigg K and Big Kannon. Had the 1st round debatable as BK (“You 6-2, football build awww I know how to tackle you, you can see hawks [Seahawks] or the Eagles, which team you trying to get drafted too?”) and Bigg K (“I’m going nuts on the drums like Step-Brothers”) both went full tilt. Second round goes to BK, better bars, more direct lines and the setup for that “You don’t wanna be fucked as a couple, don’t try swinging” line was super nice. Going into the 3rd round I don’t know why BK would say out loud that he lost round 1 (probably overconfident that he’d win the 3rd, but still), however, it wouldn’t matter too much as Kannon went for the jugular, spazzing on K’s wannabee nigga-itis while tossing out dope name flips and feelgood (“You’ll leave here, with nothing but da feet [defeat], that’s Danny Myers”) wordplay. Bigg K’s 3rd was nice, but short (as was his 2nd) and while the roasting session lines were funny, choosing to stick with one angle wasn’t enough to overcome his opponent’s versatilty.

Verdict: Big Kannon (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K – “I do it for the streets, you do it for the sweets, used to battle in the lunchroom and the loser had to eat”

Dre Dennis defeats Chess

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Recap: Sometimes when you set the bar so high, a less than stellar performance can be seen as taking your art for granted, which in turn can provide an opponent with a window to win. Such is the case here as Chess, tho he certainly had his moments of executing some hot bars, fails to perform as consistently nice as you’re used to. Too bad as he gets schooled by a literal brickhouse in Dre Dennis, who spazzes on the little guy with enough elite schemes, haymakers, punchlines and self-deprecating (“I ain’t got one, so I know you ain’t coming for my neck nigga!”) rhymes to make your mouth water. Perhaps a hard ‘L’ to digest, but a good student will learn from this one.

Verdict: Dre Dennis (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chess – “Chess, what’s your next move? I’ll tie his fat ass up and watch him starve in front of fresh food”

Jakkboy Maine defeats A-Train

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Recap: Using a magnanimous play on words that stayed upbeat throughout the first two rounds before settling down a bit in a less potent 3rd, Jakkboy Maine’s forte of rampant boasts, head-ringing mayhem and unorthodox punchlines prove to be too much for the charismatic/gritty flows of an uneven A Train in this 3-rounder from L.O.C (League of Champions).

Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “This the hook up, when it bang it’ll be right by your side, it’s like you secretly agree that’s consensual crime!”

Glueazy defeats Chris Lewis

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Recap: Plenty of hometown personals and literally light bars from both Glueazy and Chris Lewis in this three round battle from Body Bag Battle League. But it’s still Glueazy who stands out against a mostly lackluster opponent, particularly in a fiery 3rd round that proved to be his most consistent and bullish.

Verdict: Glueazy (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Glueazy – “With me, it’s hard to get a leg up like Tracy Morgan when that van flipped!”

Ah Di Boom defeats Jay Wirth

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Recap: Jay Wirth has a nice flow. had some hard lines, but too many generic bars and filler couldn’t hold up against Ah Di Boom’s more direct bars, personals and ill schemes.

Verdict: Ah Di Boom (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Jay Wirth – “The coke and molly got me tweeking, fuck with white girls too much, almost broke my sinuses”

Brooklyn Carter defeats King Moneyy

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Recap: Consistency, never wasting bars, what a difference maker. Add the repeated name flips, delivery, potent (“Niggas literally dying to be fire, no cinnamon challenge”) bars and a not-so-nice 3rd round by King Moneyy, Brooklyn Carter gets this one on what was otherwise an electrifying battle–arguably one of the better PG battles of 2014.

Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 2-1

Favorite line: King Moneyy – “I’m walking around with that ‘Wish a nigga would’ that’s all a ‘G’ needs [genie]”

Drugz defeats Streetz Messiah

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Recap: On reactions alone, Drugz wins this battle by a landslide. As for the bout itself? Well, Drugz happens to take this 1-rounder too, using a gang of gritty punches, rigid gun bars and spicy ‘Street’ name flips/metaphors to handily beat back a solid and hard-hitting at times, but name-flipping excessive and mostly pedestrian Streetz Messiah.

Verdict: Drugz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Drugz – “Where you be at when the judge’s banging the gavel down?, exactly Messiah, when we need you never around, so to your name you’re a failure and contradiction, looks couldn’t stop me from steaking this nigga, that’s loss prevention!”

Showoff defeats Hazey Williams

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Recap: Don’t know what happened to Hazey Williams here, because after pretty much bodying (“Leave him alone? I’ll lend an arm to raise a stock then [Stockton] leave him alone [Malone]”) Showoff with steady name flips and hot performance bars in round 1, it’s like he just gave up, coming light in round 2 and just stopping in the middle of round 3. Not that Showoff didn’t step it up and straight spazz in the latter rounds here, but the way this battle just did a 180 so quick is kinda weird.

Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Hazey Williams – “I got a 9 to 5 and sell weed on my lunch break”

Bigg K defeats Danny Myers

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Recap: After splitting the first couple of rounds with an animated and probably exhausted Danny Myers, Bigg K manages to keep his cool and take the last round with a wicked combo of haymakers, biting (“It must be hard having 10 kids and know not one gonna be shit”) personals, crazy punchlines and fierce deliveries.

Verdict: Bigg K (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bigg K – “I’m retarded with a gun, Officer Doofy”

Bonnie Godiva defeats Ms. Fit

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Recap: Mostly lackluster battle between Ms. Fit and Bonnie Godiva stayed close thanks in part to Fit surprisingly not being at her funniest overall and Bonnie leaning on too many lyrical darts (which led to a lot of dry spots) instead of angles that were hitting (like when she went personal). Either way, a close one with a more condensed Bonnie taking the first while the punch-heavier Fit took the 3rd. The deciding 2nd round was also tight with an equal amount of haymakers from both battlers, however Bonnie’s ability to start off her turn with a couple of dope freestyle’s (one of which was a rebuttal) gave her the edge and the win.

Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “Your Papi wasn’t around huh?, that’s terribly sad, another gender-confused alien looking for an American Dad!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Jimz

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Recap: Jimz takes “unlimited” literally, Shotgun Suge doesn’t. So we’ll take it back to Math 101 and use the Quality Bars Per Minute (QBPM) rule to decide this one and Suge wins hands down with a better variety of haymakers, punchlines, jokes and personals without the filler.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Shotgun Suge – “I been shooting niggas before your mother started talking in English”

O’fficial defeats Daylyt

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Recap: Nothing out of the ordinary here as the usual abstract and witty flair from Daylyt meets the usual gun-centric and mayhem-dishing plate from O’fficial. But in a very close one-rounder, even the slightest mistake can make a huge difference and in this case, Daylyt’s near choke at the start of his round does just that.

Verdict: O’fficial (W) 1-0

Favorite line: O’fficial – “That vagina had stretch marks on it, you lost out, ‘cuz that pussy you was eating was literally marked out!”

B. Magic defeats Charron

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Recap: Equally solid effort here from both Charron and B. Magic comes down to a more condensed Magic edging rounds 1 and 3. And while the always witty Charron was a little more versatile overall with his bars, while also spouting a handful of nice rebuttals during the match, the Canadian rapper was hurt by a couple of elongated rounds as well as his punch-heavy opponent coming through with less filler.

Verdict: B. Magic (W) 2-1

Favorite line: B. Magic – “Metal squeeze on this bitch chest like a mammogram, one rise we all get into it like a family van!”

Cityy Towers defeats Celebrity Cell

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Recap: Against a nice effort from up-n-comer Celebrity Cell, Cityy Towers lands just enough hard-hitting bars and punchlines in the first two rounds (with a dig at the PG’s thrown in) to claim victory in his 3-rounder from Beast Mode NY.

Verdict: Cityy Towers (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Cityy Towers – “We fighting wars in CT nigga, murders over drug money, every day I’m walking around with the same vest, I’m Doug Funnie!”

Xcel defeats Stash

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Recap: Really good battle, barfest, both came with it. However, while Stash got better and more potent with each round, Xcel stayed consistent throughout, delivering heat upon heat with better showmanship, personals and performance than his opponent who saved his best round for the 3rd. However, by then it was too late as I thought Xcel clearly got round one and edged the second.

Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Xcel – “Dog, I hear the critics, I see ’em when I look, they say my bars is way over heads…well read a book!”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Cortez

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Recap: From Black Ice Cartel, a battle that was a lot closer than the 40 stans in the comments section would like you to believe. A surprising choke from an up-to-then hard-punching, disrespectful and personal-heavy Cortez in round 2 eventually leads to opponent 40 B.A.R.R.S. upping her moxie and using a gang of stinging name flips, hard-hitting Spanglish heaters and some potent punchlines/schemes to come from behind and take the middle round as well as edge the deciding 3rd for the win.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 2-1

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. –  “A Mexican with no money?!, I’m a pull that green card!”

Jerry Wess defeats Dinero

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Recap: Displaying his versatility early on, Jerry Wess uses nice schemes and hard-hitting (“I’m with your girl, she can’t stay long..now he wanna fight, but this hook better than Nate Dogg!”) punchlines to take out the sometimes (“Got niggas talking shit, mouth for a loosie, well I came to fix that with these Mac’s and these toolie’s, have them scream Uh Oh!, no I Love Lucy, and take shots on Jerry West [Wess] I’m the Celtics…Bob Cousy!”) alright, but oft-lackluster Dinero in a street battle that real fans of battle rap can surely appreciate.

Verdict: Jerry Wess (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Jerry Wess – “I’ll take your watch and give it to my bitch…that’s a timeshare!”

Illmaculate defeats Aye Verb

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Synopsis: Illmaculate makes for a dope rebuttal in the middle of round 1, spazzing on Verb for complaining about the timekeeping and that’s pretty much the highlight of this match as Verb not only chokes, whines and recites a whole ot of filler, but clearly just showed up for the check.

Verdict: Illmaculate (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Aye Verb – “….I see Mac and smash the gas till a 100 it hit then downshift and make it rain while I Tokyo Drift”

Ave defeats CT

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Recap: Confident enough that he had this battle in the bag already to use like half his 3rd round to spit heat at potential upcoming opponents, Ave spouts a heavy wordplay and punch-crazy fest against a mostly lackluster CT in rounds 1 and 2 that more than delivers on his cool-headed premonition.

Verdict: Ave (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ave – “I know it’s been awhile since y’all seen me, well I’m back like a never left, the show just ain’t the same without daddy, that’s James Evans’ death!”

Phara Funeral defeats QB (Black Diamond)

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Recap: Female battle rap is so drenched in ‘who’s screwing who’ semantics and ghostwriting allegations that when it comes to originality and genuine personals the lines can often get blurred. That aside, as a re-capper who only cares about who rapped better, the idea that Phara Funeral can’t spit her own shit (as QB claims time and time here) just doesn’t hold much weight when you look at some of her past battles (her Viixen The Assassin battle being the best case). Instead, Phara’s main flaw has been a lack of preparation (hence, past chokes and slip-ups). Yet QB, while also dishing her usual m.o. of disrespectful zingers, boastful barbs and resident mayhem, went there with the wordmonger stuff repeatedly, which makes you wonder if that was about ego or the idea that she didn’t pay enough attention to why she lost the Jaz battle. Because lyrically speaking Phara Funeral won this battle. The Bronx emcee taking a page from the Jaz playbook (and also taking advantage of two elongated and often redundant rounds from QB) and using fierce schemes, pretty solid wordplay, fiery gun bars, piercing punchlines and some grating personals to edge rounds 2 and 3 (with nary a slip-up after a debatable 1st) for the vic.

Verdict: Phara Funeral (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Phara Funeral – “The wrong word will get you shot, them slugs burning you out, my shit clickin’, if I’m lickin’, no studs turns turning you out, I send my chicks in to get the kids and my nigga’s fuckin’ ya spouse, everybody will be trading places if gotta usher you out!”

K-Shine defeats JC

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Synopsis: Perhaps if bars just decided rap battles, a scheming wordsmith like JC would most likely be undefeated. But of course, that’s the kind of thinking that has some of the gifted pen’s of the battle world living with their head in the sand as they struggle to accept other attributes that can win you battles. Then too, if you go in the boxing ring recognizing that your opponent is noted for having a superb left uppercut, you and your trainer’s job is to come up with an effective plan to counter that move with an effective game plan that can get you the win. That’s what K-Shine does here in this 3-rounder against JC on UDubb: using his own talent for showmanship, running with his opponent’s biggest weakness and milking it for all its worth. And who could blame him? I mean what is he supposed to do? Go toe-to-toe with JC on bars alone and most likely lose? Puh-leeze. Granted, K-Shine is no slouch in the ring when it comes to punchlines. But as he showed in his infamous ‘Professor Shine’ 3rd round against DNA, when your opponent has an advantage on you in one area, why not return the favor and counter with what you do better? In this case perform. And that he did with an insanely adept (i.e. classic), dope and crowd-rocking MIchael Jackson scheme in the deciding 3rd round (that had JC literally flinching and talking to himself) to earn the win.

Verdict: K-Shine (W) 2-1

Favorite line: K-Shine – “You know them bitches Love Sosa, but this more like Oprah, they all get the gift from under the seat!”

Ryda defeats Skino

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Recap: In a battle versus an opponent spitting mostly hit-or-miss comedic puns and substandard (“You a clown, but guess what?. but homey I don’t play that”) bars/freestyles, Ryda still makes it close by serving as his own worse enemy what with constant slip-ups throughout the battle, Indeed, if it wasn’t for dishing just enough hot lines along with ill schemes in rounds 2 and 3, this one would not of been a good look on the resume.

Verdict: Ryda (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ryda – “Once Raheem get to Q, you gonna be dead soon after you yawning, he get to cooking with the Steel, meaning you gonna get that .40 with your eggs in the morning!”

Shotgun Suge defeats Rosenberg Raw

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Synopsis: Good battle. And since Shotgun Suge didn’t choke or have any huge stumbles you can forgive him for pulling out the flip phone in round 2. Close throughout and both came with the bars (Suge: “I’m King Joffrey, I drop Rose before I take a step”; Rosenberg: “Catch him late night around 2:50 at the spot alone, he catching airtime like one of those Obama phones”), performance matched up and so did the aggression. However, while on bars alone I got the 1st round going either way, then Shotgun taking the 2nd and Raw taking the 3rd, Rosenberg hitting Shotgun on the tired drama that was Suge not showing up in Detroit a few years back and wasting bars on that bald guy in the crowd (while Suge went straight at Raw throughout), was to me the difference and edged it for Suge in the end.

Verdict: Shotgun Suge (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “Go ‘head and win this battle if you good enough, but I’mma slap you if you choke nigga for fucking my footage up”

40 B.A.R.R.S. defeats Brisco

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Recap: 40 B.A.R.R.S. makes a visit to the World Battle League and against the loud/witty/raucous raps from Brisco, still delivers a sizzling 30, using a gang of blistering personals, festive wordplay/4-bar set-ups and stinging punchlines for the win.

Verdict: 40 B.A.R.R.S. (W) 3-0

Favorite line: 40 B.A.R.R.S. – “This muthafucka is an illiterate, what you ain’t never been to school bitch?, oh yeah, you move that work and I believe it…you look like a mule bitch!”

JC defeats Gjonaj

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Recap: A rare choke from JC in the 2nd round still doesn’t stop him using some fiery schemes, ill personals and fire gunplay in the 1st and 3rd rounds and beat back the loud and boisterous, but often reaching raps of Gjonaj.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “I still spark the llama like Martin mama, if I reach, ain’t shit I’m raisin’ but a biscuit!”

Marv Won defeats Fatal

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Recap: Coming off a less than inspiring match against Math Hoffa, MarvWon gets back on his grind, easily taking out the bar-heavy, but mostly average and monotonous Fatal with a roundhouse of witty performance bars, fierce punchlines, braggadocio {“How dare you say that Marv fell off or Marv trash?, when I’m the nigga that the nigger’s you call ‘them nigger’s’ run they bars past?!”) citation’s and fully loaded wordplay.

Verdict: MarvWon (W) 3-0

Favorite line: MarvWon – “Dig, I’m like a Mario Brother…I got big off the block!”

T Money Bagz defeats Sno

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Recap: Sno’s oft-lackluster name flips, repeated gun bars and racial (‘When that cig split, it’ll get you and your nig lit [niglet]”) undertones are no match for the forever slept-on T Money Bagz’s substantial punchline game, confident delivery and witty (“Treat him like JC battle, y’all gonna find half of him missing”) personals in this one-rounder from Bar Wars.

Verdict: T Money Bagz (W) 1-0

Favorite line: T Money Bagz – “I should spark the ratchet and start shooting Snoman like Django went to target practice!”

Ms. Hustle defeats Gattas

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Recap: Fire, braggadocio and competitive URL N.O.M.E. 4 battle between Ms. Hustle and Gattas stays throughout lit with plenty of lyrical shiners, witty punchlines/anecdotes and fiery personals. Gattas, well known for her comedic (“Yo, you a dusty trick and attention is like money to you, half the time she don’t even know why she fucking, it’s just somethin’ to do!”) acumen and appreciation for bar efficiency, kept it lively throughout the battle with a boisterous delivery that was further emboldened by a heapful of jocular stylings and piercing (“I’ll smack fire out of a bird and turn a Phoenix into Jean Grey!”) punches. And while Ms. Hustle was a little less condensed during her turns as opposed to her opponent, the ever-aggressive and raucous “1st Lady of URL” kept the pressure on with a gang of fierce bully bars, glistening personals and flexing punchlines/schemes. Each round was close and while Ms. Hustle had her bouts of mediocrity here and there with the punches, her ability to be a little more versatile with her angles, display some of her own wit/wordplay and land more haymakers in the (“You a dumb AG, you couldn’t execute this simple plan?, I mean when we met years ago, you was a different man!”) 1st and 3rd round coupled with Gattas’ penchant for filler in those same rounds, allowed Hustle to edge each one for the win.

Verdict: Ms. Hustle (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Ms. Hustle – “I’ll bus(t) and leave your camp pissed [campus] that’s a college trip, no jewels [jews] so why stick ya [swastika] that’s a Nazi flip, Remember you said I was bi-polar? Yeah bitch I’m mad…nice, You used to be that bitch but you ain’t cooking no more, you a bad wife!”

Mackk Myron defeats Lynx Montana

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Recap: Flexing with some jaunty wit and fierce punches allows Lynx Montana to have some moments here and there. But too much of Mackk Myron displaying fire tenacity with the steady stream of hitting punchlines/personals along with several slip-ups (and a 2nd round choke) by Montana, equates to this being an easy 30 for Myron.

Verdict: Mackk Myron (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Mackk Myron – “Shotgun open Lynx [links] up, like I’m right-clicking!”

Rolla defeats T Top

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Synopsis: Really good battle, but Rolla got this. His wordplay, name flips, jokes and gritty bars outnumbered and outmaneuvered T Top’s usual trap talk and tough schemes/bars. Having seen Rolla give Tay Rock good comp before, it’s no wonder he held his own here.

Verdict: Rolla (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Rolla – “I’m a southpaw, as soon as you step left, I’m Right witcha!”

JC defeats Syahboy

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Recap: Damn: If only Syahboy came half as hard (“Your wife a slut bucket, try divorcing that, she put me on to the neck, that’s a torture rack”) as he did in round 3 (“I’m in the street with the Tommy like Keisha tripping”), he probably would’ve gotten a win here. But by then it was too late as JC’s fiery (“Dreams crushed, it’s a wrap for Syah, that’s King Tut”) bars, steady personals, wordplay, name flips and flat-out (“What I’m supposed to believe he nice and ignore the fact that he lost a lot y’all lying/lion on Syah, that’s King Jaffe in the barber shop”) haymakers easily gave him the first couple of rounds. Still despite losing, considering he was a last-minute replacement for Ah Di Boom, Syahboy more than held his own.

Verdict: JC (W) 2-1

Favorite line: JC – “Welcome to my ring Syah, I’m king, the chrome will spark, Tony Parker pointing with the 9 (who counted that), that’s 5 rings”

Blaqu Mugga defeats TH3 Saga

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Synopsis: Stop playing! A Christian battle rapper who doesn’t curse in his rhymes?! Nice work by Norbez on finding this guy who’s not only unorthodox, but still able to combine hard-hitting bars (“So even if your boys gas ya’ like Blaqu came with the hottest rounds, that ain’t a concerning me, I done came with he brew boy if he don’t call on God he getting burned in 3”) with fresh words of wisdom. It’s just too bad that TH3 Saga gets off to a slow start with each round as Blaqu Mugga’s consistent sports schemes, storytelling, jokes and disrespectful wordplay (“When God made hoes he threw the book at your daughter!”) was overall, just enough to win.

Verdict: Blaqu Mugga (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Blaqu Mugga – “I’ll pop up, whistle and then the big shit come out like the Green Ranger”

Brooklyn Carter defeats Punchline

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Recap: Except for a debatable 2nd round that saw Punchline’s fixed cadence produce some hotter punches/schemes, this one’s all Brooklyn Carter, who uses a barrage of aggressive and gritty bars/wordplay to unload a host of bedlam and easily take the 1st and 3rd round’s of this NCBL battle.

Verdict: Brooklyn Carter (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Brooklyn Carter – “You don’t want this kind of work, you should clock out when I clock in, it only took 4 lines to leave him boxed in!”

Big T defeats B. Magic

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Synopsis: Damn, a battle that could’ve been so much better considering the names. And just when you thought B-Magic was on his way to an easy 3-0, he chokes in round 2 and had a couple slip-ups in round 2 to allow Big T (who stayed consistent throughout despite not being at his best) to steal a win.

Verdict: Big T (W) 2-1

Favorite: – B. Magic – “Besides your homies I ain’t see you with a bitch yet”

Nina Cruzae and Casey Jay [DEBATABLE]

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Recap: Southern home fried cooking versus gritty, East-coast panache as Texas’ Casey Jay goes at it with  Brooklyn’s (“Everybody about to witness me put this star in a box like a Texas flag!”) Nina Cruzae for 3 rounds of gripping punchlines and rigid personals. Add to the mix some boastful barbs and flexing wordplay on both sides and you’re left with a slightly cleaner/condensed Nina edging round 1, before a more consistently spicy Casey Jay edges the 2nd round and with each lady landing an equal amount of haymakers in round 3, this one ends up a draw.

Verdict: Debatable 

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “Yeah, I’m Tiny, but got Mayweather hand’s…you’ll see how Tip feels!”

Conceited defeats Duce

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Synopsis: Not to be on the S.O.N.S. bandwagon or anything, but I just think you gotta be corny or just a hater to diss the “Slow-It-Down”. For one it’s an innovative artform that brought something new to battle rap (which alone should give it respect). Secondly, it takes certain skills to do it and lastly, when done right the shit still works. But like Arsonal says: “Haters Pivot, Winners Travel” and until you work hard and get the type of notoriety and mileage in your passport that recognizes you as an official top tier, new guys like Duce will forever stay in their lane.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “That bitch know I gotta have [half] face like the neighbor from Home Improvement”

Charlie Clips defeats Daylyt

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Synopsis: Charlie Clips proves again why he belongs in everybody’s Top 5 in this epic battle against Daylyt. From jump Clips goes for the kill, using a West coast scheme that packs wallops, speaking on Daylyt: “I run with some Outlawzs, that’ll roof dog, they crazy, let theey ratchet buck, an LBC crew that’ll stomp him, now that’s Kurupt, should I use a nine, an automatic or maybe the blade, whatever I use will push this bitch wig back, that’s the Lady of Rage” (Also: “I’m in your hood, I start airing the pipe, I hit these Crip niggas, make everybody in blue Jet without preparing the flight..”). It doesn’t stop there as Clips punches with authority on each line he spits. Don’t sleep on Daylyt tho, as during round 1 he more than held his own, busting genial one-liners (“You thought one call was gonna save your ass from dying, who life alert?”) and hilarious punchlines: “What the fuck, I bust chrome, I’ll do him in a greasy way, 2 4’s leave six eight, who do we appreciate?” that kept the battle close, but clearly went beyond the time limit (not to mention, did he have to spit those bars on Biggie and Tupac?). Either way come the latter rounds Clips continues to flex, styling on Day’s use of gimmickry, spouting rabid name flips and going straight for the throat with gritty bars: “I let that four flare, point the deuce, throw the beam in ya mouth, I’ll do the fusion dance with Chilla than scheme in your house”. While Daylyt still had his moments (“One thing we got in common is we could rock man, but I rest killas, you said a Mr. Fantastic line? That’s cuz it was a stretch nigga!”), they became few and far between. All the while Clips, in round 3, continued to spaz and show off his creativity, spitting tutorials at Daylyt’s ski-mask: “But now you just jumping on any nigga face mask and honestly I can’t take it, how you go from Schoolboy Q and Young Buck album to a battle rapper that’s getting naked?’ (with Daylyt ironically rooting him on) and putting the nail in the coffin with this haymaker: “You want your niggas to look they killer in the eye, I rather you look your killer in his whole face, so you could remember the nigga from the east coast that stripped you of your pride and your glory, real killas don’t need a face mask and I don’t plan on letting you tell your side of the story!” Daylyt had a nice 3rd round (“I’ve been searching for this little boy all night, we are cougars”), but it just wasn’t nearly consistent enough to compete.

Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “Talking about you’ll give me the open hand, the fist in the deuce, and y’all believe him. I’ll have the one pointing before he get to the deuce, that’s odds and even”

E-Hart defeats Gattas

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Synopsis: Wow. No surprise to see E Hart put on her usual clinic: gritty line after line, mean schemes (“Nom4 I’m watching, the shit was a shame, crowd went crazy for your nonsense, the shit gotta change, that Tomb Raider thing was cool but it was lame, because Lara Croft was never the first bitch in the game”), grown-ass woman bars that’ll leave you shook, etc. But this battle will probably be more remembered for Gattas putting on her worse show ever, from constantly letting the crowd get to her (and they weren’t even that bad), weak bars, little to no performance, a slip-up and on top of that a choke–name your worst female battler and it’s almost like they over Gattas’ body for 3 rounds here.

Verdict: E-Hart (W) 3-0

Best line: E-Hart – “On any given day shooters getting patient with that thing, yunno calm, mellow (Carmelo) just waiting for that ring”

Chef Trez defeats Automatic Ray

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Recap: Young rookie goes up against the older vet as Chef Trez battles Automatic Ray in a fiery, one-rounder from Spit Dat Heat. Ray, apparently motivated by Trez not giving him enough credit for putting him on, puts on a solid show, dispensing winsome punchlines and engaging (“You think your bitch is being faithful?, I bet if I meet her I can hit it, Street Fighter bonus stage, she gonna see the whip and try to kick it!”) wordplay with ease, while kindly (“You got booked in a couple of states, ok, that’s fine…but I’ve made more off these kids than Danny Myers at tax time!”)…reminding his opponent of his place in the game. Indeed, a solid round from Ray that only dipped when some punches either lacked pizzazz or came off elementary. Still, a hard turn to follow up, but Trez more than put in that work. Using some crazy (“Listen Ray, you can’t son a nigga that’s sonning nigga’s, gun will hitt’cha, for that bread, this square will get his head shot…Wanted picture!”) wordplay, filthy (“I was in the whip with a Smith-n-Wesson, with a dozen round mag, waiting on him to leave with his team, when I see him I’m dumping everything out that bitch, somebody gonna bleed on the scene, that’s 1 gun, 1 clip, 12 bullets, I feel like making a song while I’m squeezing that thing, I see him, now 112 [one .12] blasting out the car like I’m bumping ‘Peaches and Cream’!”) schemes, potent gun bars, nice set-ups and hitting (“You too aggressive, in the shop throwing temper tantrums, well calm your nerves or I’ll [reaches hand out like gun] 10 per tantrum”) personals that hit their mark, it’s the yung’un who shines brighter in what was pretty dope battle.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “Ray said he’ll grab his Mac, dump it and blaze it, fat fuck, better off saying you got a sag lunch with bacon, I’ll grab pumps or lay Tek’s [latex]and bust, that condoms breaking and hit him with a K [‘k’] like that’s the end of that conversation!”

T-Rex defeats Cortez

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Synopsis: Who knew time limits could be the highlight of a rap battle? Of course, anyone paying attention knows how long Cortez’s been feenin’ for a match with T-Rex, with Rex rejecting the offer time and time again in return. Then Total Slaughter pops up and out of nowhere Cortez gets his long-awaited shine…literally on the spot with no time to prepare. Rex beats him easily, Cortez has to sleep on the sofa and now this? Two minute rounds on the main stage?! My guess is Cortez wanted a rematch so bad after getting slighted on TS that he would’ve signed anything to get it. While Rex’s forever-scheming ass, having done the proper research, just knew the short 2-minute rounds would work in his favor….and thanks to Rex’s gritty, but condensed bars topping Tez’s elongated lines. they did exactly that (although, to be fair, considering Cortez is a Grind Time vet, writing for 2-minute rounds shouldn’t have been that much of a problem).

Verdict: T-Rex (W) 2-1

Favorite line: T-Rex -“Kill him in a charity match like Drago, I wanna see him die, we be shooting with his eyes closed”

Casey Jay defeats Boogie

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Recap: In this 1-rounder from Cartel Life, with neither quite on their A-game, Casey Jay piercing punchlines, heated gun bars and rigid personals are still enough to edge the slick wordplay from a topsy-turvy Boogie.

Verdict: Casey Jay (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Casey Jay – “Chopper make ya head turn like when a bad bitch passing!”

Conceited defeats Klutch

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Recap: All the way out in Colorado, battle rapper Klutch certainly displays an ability to do heavy research on his opponent, when he’s not showcasing some nice wit with his bars. But with too many basic liners and storied tales on Conceited’s prior battles that we’ve long heard about, overall Klutch isn’t able to overcome Con’s more consistently potent bars, requisite gun lines and linear (“Nigger, you are softer than a Diggy track!”) punches in this one-rounder from Colorado Rap.

Verdict: Conceited (W) 1-0

Favorite line: Conceited – “Listen Klutch, you know damn well I’ll make that metal spit, with extensions on a ratchet like a ghetto bitch!”

Math Hoffa defeats Dizaster

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Recap: After getting edged by a heavy (“What happened? why you want to punk dudes like little Mookie and T-Rex?, what happened last time you came to L.A.? where was your reflex?, when you got water poured all over your shoes and you got G checked, I guess you could say it was his first time in L.A. and he was still getting his feet wet!”) pontificating, scheme-slinging and mayhem-dishing Dizaster in the 1st round, Math Hoffa ups the ante on an already fiery punch game and delivers a blistering, witty, punchline-crazy and (“Surprised you ain’t dead yet, you be taking all them methamphetamine’s, do me a favor, never get blasted off of heroin, cause that’ll get you outclassed and out of your element, cause on Smack, you was the wackest that you ever been!”) personal-blazing 2nd to even things out over a solid, but not as potent turn by Diz, before doubling-down on some already exquisite wordplay during a just-as-dope 3rd (i.e. classic) that was also seismic on personals. Dizaster, who dished some pretty aggressive schemes and lofty punches/personals in the deciding round, was hurt a bit by bouts with filler and a little too much sermonizing, thus allowing a more steady and commanding Math to take the round and the win.

Verdict: Math Hoffa (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Math Hoffa – “I watched your battles till your fucking voice was hurting my ears, I put the pen to the page, hoping verses appear, but this is why I hate Scrabble, sometimes I got no words for these squares!”

Chef Trez defeats Killa

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Recap: Chef Trez had to really earn this one as opponent Killa (who took the 3rd round) would bring with him plenty of banging gun bars and some fierce punchlines/wordplay to keep things competitive throughout the battle. But the always cocked and loaded Trez, takes this battle in the end, enlisting a boatload of head-twisting heat of his own when he wasn’t also scoring with fervent punchlines/schemes and piercing name flips in the first couple of rounds for the win.

Verdict: Chef Trez (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Chef Trez – “I’m out here, trying to party with tools, letting my hammer dance, you trash below waist, I’ll air ya bottoms…Hammer pants!”

Nu Jerzey Twork defeats Biggs Da Proof

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Recap: From Showtime Battle Arena, a 3-rounder that featured a performance-heavy Nu Jerzey Twork at his funniest with a gang of witty personals, but also scoring with some stifling punchlines/gun bars would be just enough to take both of the opening rounds for the win over a punch-heavy at times and pretty funny himself Biggs Da Proof before a gritty and punch-lit Proof easily took round 3 with an assist from an unprepared Twork.

Verdict: Nu Jerzey Twork (W) 2-1

Favorite line: Nu Jerzey Twork – “If you was my son I’d be beating my kid, you’ll get a whuppin’ for every slice of pizza you get!”

Swave Sevah defeats Eazy the Block Captain

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Recap: Swave Sevah isn’t just bullish with his raps because he has nothing else better to do. If you listen to Swave over time you get the feeling that being a browbeat lyricist just comes out of necessity. Really. And yet another example of that is this 3-round versus Eazy the Block Captain, where Swave does everything from breaking down the authenticity of his opponent’s moniker to delivering his own unique brand of proper street ethos to spouting a gang of boastful punches/schemes to dishing witty and aggressive personals that often reeked with intimidation hijinks. Now to Eazy’s credit, the Philly rapper didn’t seem to be at all unnerved by Swave’s strong-arm tactics and stayed steady with his punches throughout the battle. But battle rap being battle rap, when it came to bar efficiency, damn if Swave didn’t kill that man.

Verdict: Swave Sevah (W) 3-0

Favorite line: Swave Sevah – “Hey yo, tell me I’m lying my nigga, look at E’s face, his teeth look like they got issues with each other…they need space!”