No Bias. No Narratives.
Mister Greco Recap: Recycling bars (see Dougy vs. Joe) is something you gotta deal it…still when faced against a very basic, one-dimensional round from X Da Don, Dougy’s fierce wordplay and steely punches are more than enough to have his hand raised at the end.
Verdict: Dougy (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Dougy -“I’m talking big dummy shit’s when I’m packing the tool, with a big dummy clip…like Shaqtin A Fool!”
Recap: Continuing, at times, to be his own worst enemy, after losing the 1st round to a raucous, scheme-licious and punch-heavier Blik Da Barbarian, with not one but two opportunities to come back and possibly win the battle as his opponent’s bar efficiency lessened as the battle proceeded, a steadily punch-spazzing Craig Lamar’s flow gets in the way with a couple of slip-ups making for a debatable 2nd round, before Craig chokes away any chance of getting a draw in the 3rd.
Verdict: Blik Da Barbarian (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Blik Da Barbarian – “This shit came from a Navy vet, you act rude, that metal clapping at you, you’ll be Swayze next!”
Recap: E City puts on a strong performance, especially in a witty 3rd round that was well executed with some hard-hitting personals and potent (“It ain’t packing a fresh box in my palm, how I’m used to having to smack a square!”) bars. But a more overall consistent J Murda, matching his storied aggression with assorted (“You punk Gringo, it’s about to get cold ice for the snow white, I’ll pistol whip him, if he get up, off ya ass like lowlifes!”) mayhem, in-ya-face gun bars, some spicy wordplay and righteous name flips, does enough to take rounds 1 and 2 and bring a win back to Brooklyn.
Verdict: J. Murda (W) 2-1
Favorite line: J. Murda – “I let it ring, I bet City haul [hall], yeah 718, but it’s gonna be 187 when City call!”
Recap: A dope and highly competitive battle from Don’t Flop that was littered with a boatload of stifling punchlines. fiery schemes and witty personals, after the two split (Soul taking rd. 1, RD taking rd. 2) the first couple of rounds, a slightly steadier hitting and more condensed Soul takes the 3rd and deciding round over Real Deal for the win.
Verdict: Soul (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Soul – “Yo, he grew up without a TV in an RV, so it makes him sad, his first car was his house!”
Recap: Much anticipated battle between “The Queen of Disrespect” (QB) and “The King of Disrespect” (Arsonal) for the most part lives up to its theme what with each battler literally (yes, there was plenty of ass-grabbing) and figuratively with some scathing disses towards Arsonal’s daughter by QB and some pretty hilarious rants by Arsonal towards QB’s sex life. That said, while both rappers were on their A-game with the personal scorn and contempt throughout the battle, each was also hurt by one too many pedestrian bars as well as a bit of overkill on their favorite go-to themes. And while Arsonal was a bit flow-challenged at times, not including a spitfire and fairly consistent 3rd round, QB’s elongated turns in both the 1st and 2nd rounds combined with a more condensed opponent who had more piercing haymakers allowed da Rebel to edge each of the opening rounds for the win.
Verdict: Arsonal da Rebel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Arsonal da Rebel – “Little girls grow up dancing, yunno, trying to do the heel toe, you taking this being a guy shit way too far, you out here putting condoms on a dildo!”
Recap: Such a nice, young lady…not. 1-rounder from Atlanta Battle Raps sees a raucous Yoshi G go off on opponent Cell with a consistent barrage of piercing name flips, hitting punchlines, gung-ho personals and fiery 4-bar setups to handily beat back a solid-punching, but unspectacular effort from her opponent.
Verdict: Yoshi G (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Yoshi G – “I got more testicles than you Cell, I move like a nigga move, pop rockets by my clit, shit, those my genitals!”
Recap: Fire battle between KG The Poet and DNA that was almost a debatable, but upon closer inspection the edge here goes to KG, who took the first two rounds before faltering in the 3rd thanks in part to a couple of nice DNA rebuttals, name flips and (“Don’t try to fight me, you couldn’t Ice T if you knew the Art of Rap!”) punchlines. Rewinding back to the 1st and you saw both battlers going hard with spitfire bars and aggressive shiners. Still while DNA was a little more consistent, the predictability of a handful of his set-ups along with a couple of more acquiesce haymakers from The Poet, lost him the round. And while DNA sported some fiery (“I’m slick with the lines, I’ll be getting the .9, Yung Joc, the big nose will push his wig to the side!”) bars a fine basketball scheme in the 2nd, a couple of reaches within the frame and a slightly more versatile (“This NWX nigga in the land where nigga’s still bang NWA when they riding!”) turn from KG got him that round too and eventually the win.
Verdict: KG The Poet (W) 2-1
Favorite line: KG The Poet – “I’ll break this man, this nigga was a gangster from age 6 to 8 and got his tooth knocked out [mimics spitting out tooth]…change of plan!”
Recap: Drugz’ loud and aggressive style works wonders when his bars match his delivery. And while he’s able to hit it out the (“Go to D.C. and ask about Drugz…you gonna get a bag!”) park here and there in this altogether raucous and entertaining battle against R Streetz, too often then not, Drugz buoyancy really comes off as filler. That said, it’s a more well-rounded, (“I’ll clap Yusef, bang on him, Yusef is dead, if Yusef survive, he gonna lose use of [Yusef] his legs!”) performance-boastting and more consistently hitting Mr. Streetz taking rounds 1 and 2 for the win.
Verdict: R Streetz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: R Streetz – “I hate Yu [Jew] so much, I’ll give you anti-sematics [anti sem atics]!”
Recap: Horrible showing by a slip-up prone Tink Tha Demon, that’s further cemented when he almost chokes on his 1st bar before giving up the round halfway and cutting short his next two thereafter, For the energetic and witty Squeako, for three rounds it was almost like he was battling himself, what with catching a bodybag with little very wear or tear.
Verdict: Squeako (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Squeako – “So pop shit and the automatic, automatic, automatic we gonna spit, big shit, look like I walk around with a tablet on my hip!”
Recap: In some battles doing a little too much can end up hurting you in the long run. Case in point here in what overall was a terrific and close matchup between (“Have ratchets surrounding Dre like ‘How To Be A Playa!”) Jai 400 Block and Dre Dennis. Loaded with plenty of nice gun bars, ferocious (Jai: “So how you gonna act Dre?, when I push your melon in [melanin] like I’m promoting Hidden Colors 2!”) bully bars, sizzling (Jai: “Closed mouths don’t get fed, and by your weight I’d be lying if I said you don’t eat!”) wordplay, fresh schemes and rich (Dre: “He even tried to PG Step to get to Smack, but that ain’t work for you tho, little Jai tried to be I but got curbed on the low!”) personals from both battlers, this was a debatable battle going into the final round. And that’s where Dre Dennis, despite a round that spouted some fiery bars and a couple of (“This big bitch, be looking for Shotgun more than Trick Trick!”) haymakers, ended up losing the battle what with a couple of reaches, mediocre lines, unnecessarily PG-stepping and over-saturated gun bars that in comparison to a more short and succinct, but heavily (“You take battle after battle off Smack, I don’t think the staff ok with the shit, is it because of the fact they never pay you for shit?, let’s say they paid you for this, this the initiative, because after what I do to you, it’s going to be like they paid you to quit!”) stacked with a variety of potent bars from Jai, ended up edging 400 Block the win.
Verdict: Jai 400 Block (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Dre Dennis – “Slow with clips in, I take time filling up my drum, old URL days, I upload rounds one by one!”
Recap: To borrow a phrase from Young Ill: ‘Who is this nigga?’ Dishing (“Tink, why fight to be the center of attention, just to end up the center of a Caution tape!”) mark-for-death bars at his leisure, performance-heavy, Las Vegas up-n-comer Shi Dog makes easy work of a fiery (“Tell ya bitch before I sweat her [sweater], I’ll take a pocket knife and make a v-neck!”) at times, but slip-up prone Tink Tha Demon in this one-rounder from The Trap NY.
Verdict: Shi Dog (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Shi Dog – “Flex for nothing, your bitch will get a breast reduction, play nice, we might just send a tittle to you!”
Recap: It’s only fitting that a rare appearance by Tay Roc outside the URL.Smack stage, here on the UDubb platform, gets met by the so-called ‘Smack-Killer’ Charron. And this one is a goodie, what with Roc slinging a load of fiery gun bars and white ‘cracker’ jokes that mostly killed, while his opponent stayed close with his own barrage of whimsical punchlines, nice rebuttals and a penchant for comedic flair.
The latter two rounds were each transparent when it comes to who prevailed with Roc taking the 2nd with engaging schemes, exquisite (“I don’t like cheese and crackers, so don’t be smiling in my face!”; “I’ll show up to his front door and I’ll nigga knock!”) race flips and gritty punchlines to beat a mostly pedestrian turn from his opponent, while Charron went ham in the 3rd, using robust (“Said I look like I cat-fished someone…well, you don’t know who you’re fucking with!”) rebuttals, some dope wordplay, mocking personals and jaw-dropping (“On Facebook you apologized to Smack for taking this match, as a family man, you should never be sorry for making some cash, he posted ‘My loyalty is with Smack, no other league’s worthy of these gun bars’, delete…disappeared quicker than a Tsu Surf gun charge!”) haymakers that certainly had a residual effect on certain onlookers.
So this one comes down to the 1st and the edge here goes to Roc, who when he wasn’t dishing more fire gun lines along with righteous identity politics and crazy personals, also scored points with his aggressive (“…I’ll have Ars like, ‘Chill out Roc, you know he autistic!”) wit and wild set-ups. And while Charron came through in the opening round with his own turn of potent wordplay/punches/schemes, a few too many dry spots and the fact his (“Those aren’t my bars, I’m not even saying then right, I just wanted to spit a Jdakiss verse before Suge does later tonight!”) best line was towards Shotgun Suge, instead of his opponent, cost him the round and the battle.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “I was in school with pussies like you, and they was all geeks, when I wanted my homework done, I kinda gave them a hard speech like, if all my answers wrong, you get fucked up, but if you get ’em right, you get to buy my lunch all week!”
Recap: In this competitive 1-rounder from Colosseum Battle League, Hollaluyah Jones takes flight while using a series of brazen punchlines, gritty heaters, some clever wordplay/similes, boastful barbs and witty/stinging personals to beat back a spicy-punching, but overall not as potent turn by Blake Winters.
Verdict: Hollaluyah Jones (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Hollaluyah Jones – “Shallow Hal, I know you think you big, but all I see is a little bitch!”
Recap: In this close 3-rounder from KOTD, while a slightly more versatile The Saurus had the jokes, fiery bars and solid personals (esp. during a dope 3rd), a more consistently hitting, turned up with the heat and punch-heavy Aye Verb does enough to edge both of the opening rounds for the win.
Verdict: Aye Verb (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Aye Verb – “If we had the same mother, you’d be my retarded brother that couldn’t drink from the same nipple!”
Recap: An overall more consistent DNA uses aggressively poignant (“You Cripping, we know your gang, get to lifting, your C’s will be catching fire…Hunger Games!”; “Plus nigga I’m the savage type, y’all thought this was over, wait, when this shit sing, it’ll Barry White [bury White]!”) punchlines and some nice name flips to survive an extra-ill (“I paid a bitch to set up him up, she wouldn’t even go through with it, she was gonna fuck till she seen that glass of water on his nightstand with that one tooth in it!”) first round from T-Dubb O and earn a come-from-behind win.
Verdict: DNA (W) 2-1
Favorite line: T-Dubb – “All bullshit aside, you look like an emoji nigga!”
Recap: Despite a plethora of hard (“Man, your body ruined ‘cuz the gun is dumping, I’m in your Project X, like Party Crashers, I was fucking up your functions!”) bars and rambunctious haymakers from Dre Dennis (due, in part, to a couple of elongated rounds) throughout his 3 rounds, a slightly more consistent Xcel, dishing intricate (“You say I’m ancient?, but when you rap, you just babble on [Babylon]!”) wordplay, nice punchlines/name flips and even few random personals with steadier aplomb, edges rounds 1 and 3 to earn the win.
Verdict: Xcel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Xcel – “Since my Genesis, I’ve been cutting nigga’s…you should know Thee!”
Recap: Too easy to speak on all the tension and other nonsense that went down here. But there was so much of it that it needs to be addressed anyway. I say the blame should go down to both rappers-Showoff, for speaking during Math Hoffa’s round and his insbility to control his entourage shouting during Math’s bars. And Math for letting his emotions get the best of him in reaction to some of Show’s more personal and upclose personals. As for the battle itself, I got it coming down to the 3rd round, which saw Show easily take after Math cut his short in an apparent haste to just be done with the battle (or, to be fair, he might’ve choked). Bar and angle-wise the first two rounds were both fire and debatable, what with Math’s going after Show’s alleged sexuality with some intense (“‘Cuz I was on your bucket list, this is where your death start, I heard you suck so much dick, you grew your beard to hide the stretch marks!”) flair and (“You a faggot and I’m a legend, you more like Magic’s son!”) savviness. While Show, for the most part, delivered with spitfire (“That shit he write, shitty right?, snuffed Dose, 75 pounds but still ain’t drop him…shitty right!”) wordplay, witty (“You went bald, grew a hairline and went bald right back!”) bars and intense heat. But the 3rd is where Show really stepped it up and won the bout, addressing what he had to know was going to be part of Math’s angle, but also eloquently repping for Brooklyn with elite showmanship and some personals that Math clearly let the world know bothered him a little bit.
Verdict: Showoff (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Showoff – “You was riding Surf’s dick so much, he don’t need groupies, and then you threw Boom under the bus quick as the Speed movie!”
Recap: Bonnie Godiva ventures all the way down under to Australia to take on local Real Talk Battles champ Eljay for a 3-rounder and despite a couple of rare 2nd-round slip-ups, gathers herself to spit a gang of piercing punchlines, witty personals (esp. towards her opponent’s wife) and hitting wordplay to edge round 1 and take round 3 for the win over a dude who when he wasn’t scoring with a bunch of disrespectful zingers, was too unsteady punch-wise to be able to keep up with Bonnie’s more hitting palette.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Bonnie Hodiva – “I got a gun named karma, if I use it to hit J is that blunt force trauma?!”
Recap: Nice punch-fest between Tapedeck and Don Dollaz is only spoiled when Dollaz chokes in the 2nd round. However, with just enough fiery punchlines, piercing name flips and fluorescent gun bars in the 1st and 3rd rounds, Dollaz edges both to still receive the win.
Verdict: Don Dollaz (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Don Dollaz – “After I hit him with the .5K’s, I’ll take his bread…I’m the best rapper of the tournament!”
Recap: Those two white dudes on the left side of the screen in the front row never seemed to be impressed, but for the rest of the crowd Big T and Rob Wilson kept it entertaining in this 1-rounder for Don’t Flop. The two battlers trading plenty of witty/mocking personals when they weren’t attempting to mix it up with spicy punchlines and other linear crowd-pleasers. Still, while this grudge match was fun to watch, a more consistently lit with the wordplay as well as the performance Big T gets the edge for the win here.
Verdict: Big T (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big T – “I’m 50 Cent favorite battle rapper, but tonight I’m gonna teach you How To Rob!”
Recap: A lucid (“But if he run, eh done, I got him tho, shots easily knock him down, when them dots on his square we’ll turn him into a domino!”) Power Lines gets off to a hot start before slowing down towards the end of his turn during this one-round matchup with Nunn Nunn. But after a nice rebuttal, Nunn Nunn stays busy with fierce name flips/wordplay and a steady diet of bubbly (“Let me show you to maneuver, I could make the world watch, like Jacob the Jeweler!”) punchlines to win this bout from South Carolina Battle League.
Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “You think you got star Power?, let it go, you’ll see more than stars Power when the 50 show!”
Recap: Dope one between Glueazy and Nu Jerzey Twork, close and competitive enough to definitely warrant a couple of looks. A performance-rich and /set-up/gun-bar (“That’s fake love, I’ll [waves hand like a gun] fill her head up with all kind’s of shit, end the bitch!”) spazzing Twork, despite going longer than his solid, punch-heavy opponent, still rained down enough haymakers to take round 1. And while both battlers brought plenty of heat in the middle round, the edge here goes to Glu for being more condensed with his turn, while supplying the best bar of the round. Final and deciding round was another barn buster with Glueazy kicking more fire punchlines (tho mostly in the 1st half of his round) with his signature aggression and VA cadence, while Twork consistently scored aplenty with more animated gun bars and finite wordplay. That said, call it a toss-up.
Verdict: TIE
Favorite line: Glueazy – “I’ll kill him, Robin Williams, all jokes and now your life’s on a line!”
Recap: With plenty of young swag that was often matched by widespread mayhem via his punches, in this 3-rounder versus Geechi Gotti, a performance-lit Saynt manages to keep things competitive throughout. Yet, for all of his opponent’s verbal wizardry Gotti just came one better in each round, using a fierce palette of gangster steeze, flashy wordplay/punchlines/schemes and stinging personals that often mocked Saynt’s permeable adolescence to earn the 30.
Verdict: Geechi Gotti (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Geechi Gotti – “See, I’m really Cripping, when I first started banging, you probably was too young to come out the house, so unless you getting shot in the face, I don’t want to see ‘Blood’ coming out of your mouth!”
Recap: After a subpar 1st round that gave way to some stifling bars from opponent Street Hymns, Danja Zone turns it up and puts it on vet mode, dishing potent punchlines, Poindexter-dripped personals a couple of fire, mid-round rebuttals in the 2nd and 3rd rounds to easily beat back Street’s more substandard bars and earn the win.
Verdict: Danja Zone (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Danja Zone – “I had a Revelation after Genesis, I’m gonna show him where’s the exit’s [Exodus] at!”
Recap: From KLBL, with a couple of shortened rounds, not sure an otherwise solid punching Tycoon Tax took this battle as serious as his opponent did. But none of that matters to Eazy The Block Captain who used his 3 rounds here to take Tax on a trip through Gutta City that featured a gang of rigid trap talk, piercing punchlines/name flips, boastful barbs and plenty of indiscriminate mayhem to take the first two rounds for the win before a debatable 3rd.
Verdict: Eazy The Block Captain (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Eazy The Block Captain – “Piece of his image be everywhere like I’m photoblasting, that snap chat, cuz behidn this filer is an ugly ratchet!”
Recap: In this Cali 3-rounder from Chamber Battles, that Glueazy “stole ya face and ya body” line was dope in round 3, but other than that Vocab Bahamas didn’t offer much in the face of Rosenberg Raw’s (who recycled a few bars here and there) heated punchlines and witty bars in the earlier two rounds.
Verdict: Rosenberg Raw (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Rosenberg Raw – “I got as big ass gun and it work right, I pull it and it look like i’m trying to start a mini dirt bike!”
Recap: Close 1-rounder from Counter Productive between Bonnie Godiva and transsexual battler No Shame as they both bring the fiery punches, tranny bars/jokes and stirring mayhem to a battle that kept the crowd’s attention all the way through. And while each battler did enough to make their mark, a slightly more consistently hitting, wordplay-lit and versatile Bonnie gets the edge here.
Verdict: Bonnie Godiva (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bonnie Godiva – “So listen up man tit’s, I don’t care if your hands big, I know how gay your texts is ‘cuz I read all your transcripts!”
Recap: Superblack dispenses a load of mean bars during this one-rounder from Body Bag Battle League. But overall, Jakkboy Maine’s sterling performance coupled with some exquisite wordplay was just too much to handle.
Verdict: Jakkboy Maine (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Jakkboy Maine – “I tossed one, then tossed son, you Lost One, you peep the grammar, stay in that field, Lauryn Hill [BOP!!!] and Nothing Even Matter!
Recap: The off-the-dome comedic punches and piercing flips from JShort keeps things close, but in this competitive freestyle battle from Don’t Flop, Charron’s well-executed rebuttals, more adept freestyles and witty personals are enough to handily take 12 out of the 20 rounds for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 12-8
Favorite line: Charron – “You look like the pirate that played dodge ball with Vince Vaughn!”
Recap: After years of chatter, Jaz the Rapper and E-Hart finally meet up on the URL/Smack stage and as each battler’s immense talent and track record would lead you to expect, it’s a fire battle throughout. As for who won? The verdict here essentially comes down to the closest round, the 1st. That said, while E-Hart’s 3rd round was her shortest, the Bronx vet did spit some witty (“You been to more URL battles than Smack!”) lines in the last round that often hit their mark. But versus a thunderous (i.e. classic) round from Jaz that featured some fiery wordplay,, mean, body-dropping (“I’ll kill your daughter then you’ll die right after her…Debbie Reynolds!”; “Why that man let you keep it?, Oh I know ho…the 1st baby-mom always ugly, that’s a broke ho!”) personals and a funny appearance from pop dukes, Hart had no chance there. However, with Hart utilizing some elite wordplay to land (“I’ll catch Jaz wherever she at, like this block is mine, hit her with .9 and then walk away like I copped a dime!”) haymaker after (“You’ll get these bars like I wrote for a nigga…that’s equality!”) haymaker after (“Get it poppin’, I give it up like it’s forgotten, we questioning if you thoting, but that’s a different topic, the K low next to one Tray, that’s Tristan Thomson!”) haymaker with effortless proficiency in the middle round, she’d handily beat back what was an altogether (“So try somethin, ‘cuz I’m hunting, got beef and I invite myself to the cookout, like ‘Hi cousin!'”) solid turn from Jaz. Which brings back us back to the opening round, which saw both rappers mixing it up with an equal amount of stifling punches, stinging bars and hitting personals. And while Jaz was ready with a spicy (“O’fficial did not kill me, so y’all can stop the hating, it was the first time a bitch fought back, so it shocked the nation!”) shot at Hart after the latter went at her loss to O’fficial and kept it close with her own zesty (“The only match to see this Crown Royal is E and J!”) shiners and loaded schemes, it was Hart who was a little more direct and consistently (“Two guns, that’ll sing to ya, meet R and B, not one Bone, Thug in you, don’t speak to Harmony [harming E]!”) fiery with the punches, which in turn enabled her to get the win.
Verdict: E-Hart (W) 2-1
Favorite line: E-Hart – “You tried to explain your death, I was like stop it with the tweets already, after O’fficial fucked your night up, you was Ayesha Curry!”
Recap: Gotta shake ya head sometimes at these hardcore, real street rappers too afraid to get in touch with their funny bone when it comes to battle rap. I mean, if you got a witty side to you (or if your crew constantly says you’re funny), embrace it and write it into your raps. That option allows you to flex your versatility and it might be difference between winning and losing battles. Not that a mostly gritty-punching Tre Poundz wasn’t solid throughout this Street Staus 3-rounder versus B Magic, but damn if he didn’t have pne too many pedestrian bars and if the best bars he spit here weren’t on the humorous side. Either way, with Magic incorporating wicked, wicked gun sounds, a fly Superman scheme and his usual diet of consistently spicy punchlines to this match, even if his opponent did his best Bernie Mac impression, he probably would’ve lost anyway.
Verdict: B Magic (W) 3-0
Favorite line: B Magic – “Boy, you my son…but that bullshit is from ya momma side!”
Recap: Considering all the hype over the years at the prospect of seeing Hitman Holla versus Shotgun Suge, this highly anticipated ‘grudge’ match, even with a UDubb crowd that actually seemed to bring a ton of energy to the battle, was overall a bit underwhelming. But blame the participants for that, not the crowd (tho one can’t help to wonder how this battle would’ve played out if it was on URL). After all, three elongated rounds from each battler didn’t help matters and neither did some lame bars and redundant themes throughout the match. Still, it should also be said that both battlers did deliver on some stinging performance bars, fierce gun bars, witty (Suge: “I ain’t saying you fake, but what kind of Hitman listens to Drake ?!”) barbs, fire (Hitman: “That little pocket slide tap, look, that shit wack, that heart shoving shit?, I do not play that…don’t make me fuck up the culture on my first day back!”) braggadocio lines and some very pointed personals. And while there would be no ‘pocket tap’ from Suge and Hitman’s remix (off a fire ‘legally blind’ punch) was pretty lame, overall this was a pretty solid battle with Hitman dropping more haymakers to take the 1st, a debatable 2nd round that was mired with plenty of pedestrian bars from both sides and a more potent, punch-heavy and self-deprecating Holla getting the 3rd for the win.
Verdict: Hitman Holla (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Hitman Holla – “I don’t gangbang 24/7 ‘cuz my son 11 and he know exactly what them signs mean!”
Recap: Funny and nice with the wordplay at times as well as bountiful with the white man struggle bars, too much filler/lame bars prevents Joey Gambello from pulling off an upset on a widely (“Tell ya girl she gotta duck, ‘cuz I’ll bring the .4 in [foreign] first…Melania Trump!”) efficient DNA.
Verdict: DNA (W) 3-0
Favorite line: DNA – “You’ll find out what’s in store when I shut him down…HMV!”
Recap: Able to confound his opponent with a dizzying array of repeatedly dope punchlines, stirring (“First he get a clip from the old ratchets…that’s Golden Girls!”) ‘old head bars’ and some crazy wordplay, for two rounds anyway, Reepah Rell takes advantage of his Gutta’s, at times nice, but way…too…slow…to…arrive punches and score a near 3-0, before Gutta’s distinct (“See, right now we on real nigga time and that’s…well past your curfew!”) comeuppance in the last round saves him from a very unpleasant return to the URL stage.
Verdict: Reepah Rell (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Reepah Rell – “I’m two-faced right?, so you was dead as soon as the coin flipped!”
Recap: Damn, now why she had to do him like that? Spazzing on her opponent with everything from piercing punchlines to fiery name flips to boastful darts to rigid mayhem to salacious personals, a consistently spicy Fiirst Ladii Flamez hammers out a 30 on a King Tanyhill, who despite a gritty, versatile and earnest effort, just couldn’t keep up with Flamez’s consistent heat in this 3-rounder from Body Bag Battle League.
Verdict: Fiirst Ladii Flamez (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Fiirst Ladii Flamez – “Dome shot, have your brain on everything, don’t overthink it!”
Recap: Big T aka “Big Terrence” wows the UK crowd in this Don’t Flop 1-rounder versus Mr RE, using stunted gun bars, a gang of fiery punchlines/name flips, witty personals and performance-laden darts to beat back a lyrically sharp, but mostly tedious opponent.
Verdict: Big T (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Big T – “I say, you’re not my type of guy, gotta sky dive just to give a high-five!”
Recap: Fire battle with plenty of salacious bars from both (“I got bars you couldn’t touch on a new Mac book!”) JC and (“Listen pussy, just ‘cuz I don’t got a gun on my waist, don’t mean I ain’t come with something, white boy got the strap on the ankle like I’m bungee-jumping!”) Krome from DMS Battle Ring stays competitive throughout. Still, it’s the kid JC who uses a roundhouse of dizzying wordplay and festive guns bars to take rounds 1 and 2, before surviving an extra-crazy (“They want respect, but rarely beat the kid like white parents!”) 3rd from Krome, who definitely held his own here.
Verdict: JC (W) 2-1
Favorite line: JC – “Y’all know why I’m here, right?, to leave his top dirty, Glock 30, head rocking like a night at the Roxbury!”
Recap: Despite an awkward one-minute pause near the beginning of his round, Showoff still manages to dish enough delicious (“This .9 my favorite meal, I guess that’s why my finger-licking good!”) gun bars and aggressive punchlines to edge a win over a sometimes (“I’m surely inspired, that y’all thought I’d be moved by Omar from The Wire!”) nice, yet inconsistent (but heavily gassed either way) Drugz.
Verdict: Showoff (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Showoff – “I’m just real nigga that act out and use a name, Drugz an internet nigga, trying to act out his username!”
Recap: Some hard bars spit by both Gwitty and Staccz throughout this battle, still sees ‘Paper’ delivering a 3-0 with a more cohesive flow and a much higher bar quotient–not that a couple of shortened rounds by Staccz helped any.
Verdict: Gwitty (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Gwitty – “You banging, Red? dot on your flag, Japan on ’em!”
Recap: Snake Eyez welcomes Blaq Mugga back to the URL/Smack stage with a heated barrage of feted Philly personals, head-ringing (“I call this smif Stephen A., so we could skip the bullshit and head straight to the Max!”; “Fuck that classic shit, I ain’t having it, you trying to show your townhow you still keeping it real?, well I’m Colin Kaepernick, ‘cuz I ain’t gotta try stand up, I’m knee-deep in the field!”) wordplay and a steady diet of stinging punchlines. All necessary. when taking in account Mugga’s solid and uber-aggressive performance, an execution that especially shined in a well-balanced and forthright (“I’m in Harlem, with a pistol, is this Goofy out his mind?, you better shield if you cross Snake, that’s an Illuminati sign!”) 2nd round. Still, when all was said and done, too bad for Mugga, as an overall solid turn in both rounds 1 and 3 was peaked by Snake’s peak panache and well-oiled pedigree.
Verdict: Snake Eyez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Snake Eyez – “Miss?, never, I could pull a blade, I ain’t gotta let the heat lift, poke one eye out, now you could see how I see shit!”
Recap: The comedic stylings of Lexx Luthor are strong at times, but too often run into dry spots, leaving MarvWon’s barrage of witty quips, benevolent punchlines and jaunty braggadocio bars with enough spark to overcome a couple of reaches and still get a 3-0.
Verdict: MarvWon (W) 3-0
Favorite line: MarvWon – “Insecure stripper, nigga you dying to get your ass shot!”
Recap: Vocal projection on full tilt, but with a bunch of raucous punchlines, some fire-set-ups/gun bars and acute personals/schemes to match, a competitive and consistently spicy D. Flamez edges the deciding 3rd round for the win in this Bullpen Battle League matchup over a witty, boastful and mostly punch-heavy Cortez, after the two split the first couple of rounds.
Verdict: D. Flamez (W) 2-1
Favorite line: D. Flamez – “You got that look like you trip to get the ass!”
Recap: In this 1-rounder from AHAT ATL, a slick-talking, wordplay-lit and boastful punching Swavatar Jack barely breaks a sweat in beating back a hitting and raunchy at times, but slip-up prone Yoshi G for the win.
Verdict: Swavatar Jack (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Swavatar Jack – “Swav, bitch I pack a toolie, a mack, a little Uzi, off ya set, since you think you bad and bourgie!”
Recap: Don’t Flop battle between Chilla Jones and Charron fails to showcase either battler on their A-game as a topsy-turvy Jones went overkill on a couple of angles/personals, while overall we’ve seen much better punches and name flips from his Canadian opponent. One thing, however, that was pretty consistent in this bout was Charron’s wit and after the two battlers split the first two rounds, going up against a pretty subpar turn from Chilla, Charron uses a boatload of fiery punchlines and witty barbs/personals to easily take the deciding round for the win.
Verdict: Charron (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Charron – “Don’t take offense, when sheep can’t sleep they count your schemes going over the fence!”
Recap: After edging a close 1st round via a gang of gritty storytelling bars, fire set-ups and audacious (“The real food for thought in life, is that you can’t eat books for dinner, you stupid nigga!”) pontifications (that combined added up to a classic that even impressed his opponent) on B. Dot’s renowned battle lectures, Cortez makes the mistake of mostly sticking to one theme: attempting to beat his opponent at his own game for the rest of the battle. Or better yet, perhaps B. Dot was just more prepared for what his opponent would bring to the fight. Either way, through the use of steely hometown bars, thoro (“I gotta do ya, send a shot into ya, this is Black love, Brown pride, Shaka Zulu meets Montezuma!”) raps, aggressive punchlines and toss in some nifty (“You don’t know what that means bro, you just a gringo who go wherever the green go!”) Spanish lessons and as far as round 2 and 3, it’s pretty much all B. Dot, showing off his versatility for the dub.
Verdict: B. Dot (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Cortez – “And you talking all this Black power bullshit, that that’s what excites fans, but you still chose Organik over Smack, so you working for the white man!”
Recap: To quote Tay Roc: ‘You fucked up a classic’. But then that might’ve given Rum Nitty a little too much credit, because even without the silly antics (i.e. pocket checks and igniting a couple of scuffles) and the horrible decision to start his 3rd round with a lame tranny angle, take a away a few dry spots here and there and a more condensed (“If this jam, head go over the fishing tank, you get pushed in, I’m a hold you down till you die…I’m a good friend!”) Rum in the 2nd round, Roc’s multifaceted arsenal, mixed with exquisite wordplay, steely (“Roofless hit, something to air you, I’ll have Nitty staring down at a shotgun…that’s how you have Rum in a barrel! “) combo’s, witty jokes, crazy name flips, potent set-ups and rich performance bars, probably would’ve taken Nitty out even on the latter’s best day. Indeed, with much credit to (“The fan’s telling me, use more personals, put the gum lines up, add some angles, I’m thinking if he get personal, you’ll see the gun line up [points up hands like gun]…at an angle, is that an angle?!”; “I’ll shove a gun down your throat, then tell you ‘run it back!'”) , Nitty for sticking with the ‘Who’s The Gun Line King?’ theme that made this battle highly anticipated and delivering a very solid performance overall, the feeling here is that Roc was not only more versatile, but had a couple of more (“I’m Bruce LeRoi, tell ya nigga’s I’m with the action, Sho nuff, when it glow, you’ll be the Last nigga dragging [Dragon]!”) haymakers than his opponent in what was essentially the deciding 1st round. And what with Roc overmatching Nitty with much more fiery (“You won’t accomplish as much in the game as I did, I’m good with gas, but don’t really need it…I’m the hybrid!”) bars in the aforementioned 3rd round, the feeling here is Roc taking this one with little room for debate.
Verdict: Tay Roc (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Tay Roc – “Nitty, you died on Ave, you like Harold at the light!”
Recap: Some gritty punches and schemes, a shitload of mayhem and even a fierce, mid-round rebuttal amounts to Riggz giving Charlie Clips all he can handle. But in this competitive 1-rounder from BullPen Battle League, Clips’ more condensed turn, which featured a gang of fiery 4-bar set-ups, some witty barbs, dope, crowd-pleasing freestyles, jaunty personals/name flips, piercing wordplay and a fly ‘Mannequin Challenge’ performance would be enough to give Charlie the win.
Verdict: Charlie Clips (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Charlie Clips – “John John, lines like that is the reason you brought me back in the building, when I get hype I like to fight, but if I [eye] feel lazy I’ll bring that T-Mac in the building!”
Recap: A half-nice, but filler-prone Wev Cravv fails to hold his ground against the repeated onslaught of fiery punches from Ty Law in this one-rounder from Trap NY.
Verdict: Ty Law (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ty Law – “Through your round you’ll shoot me, but real life, we not playing, glock aiming, shots like new fiends, we rock Cravan!”
Recap: Nunn Ninn uses hard-hitting punches, ferocious name flips/set-ups and some jaunty wordplay to take this one-rounder with relative ease over a loud and aggressive, but for the most part basic, Ray Stizzy.
Verdict: Nunn Nunn (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Nunn Nunn – “I seen ya footage bitch, you definitely trash…Joey verse Mook, couldn’t beat this Murda [murder] if that’s the best ya had [Jihad]!”
Recap: Well, Mack Mel certainly had to earn this one. That’s how robust with the punches, (“Without a pound on you, you as good as dead…weight [wait]!”) wordplay and set-ups Cable Guy was here. Indeed, a spitfire match throughout. A head-turning (“I don’t do too much talking clown, I just run up with the baby like ‘Look who’s talking now!'”) 1st by Cable Guy was only beaten by a braggadocio, haymaker-drenched, (“I get grimy, rusty can top, turn buck-50s into 1.90s!”) performance-heavy and (“Spine shot, man his chest poke out…like when cold water hit ya back!”) gun-savvy turn by Mac, before Cable Guy proved his mettle was unshaken through the likes of a just as fire and (“See, I’m like a Menace to Society, so he oughtta knew better then giving me burgers!”; “You known for being bun, so I don’t get what’s so special about the Sauce!”) punch-heavy 2nd round that beat back a (“I pull out shooting two, And 1, Ayo, I’m Sik Wit It!”) solid, but not-as-flexing turn by Mac. Split going into the 3rd, Cable Guy came through with another pronounced turn of witty personals and dope schemes. Still, for all of Cable Guy’s word symmetry throughout, it was Mack Mel, showing that he still had plenty left in the tank via a fierce 3rd that featured a plethora of stifling punchlines, gritty street chatter and slinging gun bars, altogether enough to edge the final round and get the win.
Verdict: Mack Mel (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Mack Mel – “Everybody always saying they connect is named Pablo or Chico right?, well my connect name is…head shot, that’s what I get if I say names!”
Recap: Well, if there’s one thing you just can’t do when there’s money on the line in a battle, it’s choke. Unfortunately for Shawty Raw–who after getting overwhelmed by Swamp’s grimy bars, way more potent lines and heated punches in the 1st round, made for a gritty enough comeback in the 2nd to make that round both competitive and debatable 2nd–his fate (and $400) would not only be decided by his opponent’s sizzling punchline game and fiery gun bar verbiage, but also a total loss of his bars.
Verdict: Swamp (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Swamp – ” I said I’m done playing, you see me, it’s front pages, gun’s blazing, bucks from all kinds of muthafucka’s…like you fundraising!”
Recap: From BlessDaMiCDvd, gritty 1-rounder between Ish Mulah and Getem Vega features a gang of hard-hitting punches from sides, but at the end it’s the slightly more consistently spicy and versatile Ish who wins out.
Verdict: Ish Mulah (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Ish Mulah – “I came for a Street Fighter, Vega better have his claws on out the gate!”
Verdict: Glueazy (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Glueazy – “Second battle back on Smack, I’m a kill something, with these guns I’ll black boy, now watch a cracker raise two of ’em…I’m Phil Drummond!”
Recap: Coming off an alleged 6-month layoff, Bangz still manages to get busy with some sterling word association bars, fierce gun bars and steely punchlines in an elongated, but freestyle-free turn that seemed bent on substance over style points. For a less bar-heavy-than-usual Whosane, Bangz more potent repertoire equates to a well-equipped wrap.
Verdict: Bangz (W) 1-0
Favorite line: Bangz – “Shit, even my little nigga’s ready to give it up like they ain’t dedicated!”
Recap: As much as you can appreciate a rising star like T Top going back to his home base and giving local spitters like Barburying Diggy a shot, when a guy references ‘Khrush Groove’ and Kris Kross in the same round, you just know it’s an early wrap. Indeed, one can only hope that Top’s paycheck was worth putting up with this one round scrimmage.
Verdict: T Top (W) 1-0
Favorite line: T Top – “I hit the stopclock [Bawh!!}, I came to call ya bluff, dump you then shit on ya Queen, that’s a royal flush!”
Recap: He may be a slow puncher, but PC’s bars can still land with stifling effect, As he shows here in this Bullpen Battle League matchup against a B Magic who started off hot but struggled with his flow for the latter half of his turn, PC’s consistently measured gun bars and unhurried punches still packed enough heat to earn the win.
Verdict: PC (W) 1-0
Favorite line: PC – “Clip ’bout as long as the Pledge of Allegiance, the irony I gotta stand for it!”
Recap: Brizz Rawsteen versus Arsonal lives up to its top tier billing with both rappers putting forth a wide load of entertaining personals, fiery schemes, witty punchlines, solid wordplay, sizzling (Arsonal: “Take him paint-balling and load up my gun with live ammo!”) gun bars and some raucous haymakers. Not as disrespectful as you’re used to seeing him, Arsonal still made a competitive show of it with a wide array of heaters that even included plenty of jokes and freestyles, while keeping himself in the battle throughout. But after a debatable 1st round, a more consistent, aggressive and performance-heavy Brizz just proved to be too much for the Jersey vet, dishing rapidly fire shiners and his own mix of disrespectful (“I’ll fuck your mother in the ass and make her suck it off!”) bars with ease and steady confidence to the point of garnering a ‘3-0!’ chant the crowd, while decisively taking both of the latter rounds for the win.
Verdict: Brizz Rawsteen (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Brizz Rawsteen – “Smack, we gotta make a movie, first, I need to see how that Uzi…work [Vert], and paint them dreds another color..Little Uzi!”
Verdict: Coffee Brown (W) 3-0
Favorite line: Coffee Brown – “I did you a favor and killed you…before diabetes!”
Recap: After somewhat of a slow start that allowed a pointed (“You beating me? You got a Riley Cooper’s chance in a Panther party!”) Real Deal to easily take round 1, Kaboom gets back in his bag with some elite round 2 (“The SK will knock Deal back-n-forth like negotiations!”) guns bars, before dispensing a literally classic (“Fuck ya guns, fuck ya bullets, wigga, beef ain’t your style, you be busting in the air, what’s your beef with the clouds?!”) ‘Fuck U!’ thesis on his opponent in round 3 that broke the tie and earned him the win.
Verdict: Kaboom (W) 2-1
Favorite line: Kaboom – “Fuck ya dead mom, you gonna join her when I dump lead, lay you down with her, hope that bitch casket got a bunk bed!”
